


Dark Stained Soul

by Eveythefirst



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Jonathan Morgenstern - Freeform, Looking for beta reader, M/M, Violence, endgame alec lightwood/jace wayland, parabati bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-05-07 10:01:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 289,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19207111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eveythefirst/pseuds/Eveythefirst
Summary: Alec travels to Edom to retrieve Magnus after his sacrifice to close the rift.  Something goes terribly wrong and Jace realizes the parabati bond does not function correctly.  Jace and Alec learn some things can't be fixed with a wave of magic and that love doesn't always stay the same. Main pair: Jace/Alec





	1. Dark Stained Soul Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving literal hate and racists comments that I chose to delete rather than force my readers to see them. Because frankly none of you need to see the misguided anger of one person.
> 
> Yet, I feel I need to make the required announcement in this first chapter now.
> 
> Yes, this is a Jace/Alec fic as stated in the summary. I pulled all of the characters background from the tv series. So dropping book knowledge at me is a wasted effort. I'm apathetic to it and will delete it.
> 
> I chose this because of the unique parabati bond and because no where could I rationalize how people can meet and think they are ready for marriage in 3-5 months, especially as a first relationship. This is the time frame the entire series takes place.
> 
> As for my fic. Its my attempt at showing how the characters can rationally heal through the events in the this series while corporating my own twist as a first fic.

**DARK STAINED SOUL**

By Evey

 

**Chapter One**

 

_Why did I come here again?_

Alec thought miserably to himself as he trekked across the foreign landscape. One foot in front of the other, puffs of red dirt every few steps he took rose up from the ground. Black hair stuck to the back of his neck in wet clumps.  The air was hot and smelt of dirt, decay, and smoke. Edom.

_Magnus. Need to reach Magnus._

Magnus had trapped himself in Edom to save all of Alicante, to save him. The least Alec could do was rescue the man he loved. The man he wanted to protect against his own stupid decision regardless of how many it saved. Alec paused for a moment and clutched at the simple white charm he had given Magnus and attempted to track him again. Nothing.

_How the hell am I going to pull off this plan to get Magnus out of here?_

The shadows ahead of him stretched long. Red light filtering onto everything from a sickly looking sun far in the distance. He stumbled and coughed from the fumes burning his throat. His body not used to the poison from Edom's air. Inhale, cough, exhale, inhale, exhale.  Keep walking towards the looming building in the distance that told him it might be where Magnus was.

Magnus was not his entire goal though. He needed to find the lost souls of Edom. That is what he really needed, not Magnus. Magnus was the ultimate goal but to get him out he needed the power of the souls. At least that is what the book read, he desperately hoped that book was right or this was a suicide mission. Alec grimaced at that thought and viciously shoved the downward spiral of doom and death to the back of his mind.

After what felt like an eternity, but was really a few hours Alec reached his goal. Black stony pillars stood before him cresting the red sky. The building was surprisingly devoid of a roof or much of anything for that matter as Alec entered inside to search for Magnus.

He slammed his back into the wall as soon as he was inside, arms up with the Seelie bow and arrow pointed towards the bleak interior of the building.  Sweat dripped down his back and matted his hair further to the back of his neck. His breath came in short pants after the miserable hike through what was appearing to be poisonous air. He desperately wanted to call out Magnus's name, but that would accomplish nothing.

_Bring all of Edom down on my head probably. Maybe Lilith and Asmodeus as well._

Alec scoffed at himself. Attempted to track Magnus with the charm and converted Seelie stone he had acquired before leaving on this deadly mission. This time he found a faint trail to follow now that he was much closer to his intended target.

_Finally, found you. Still have no idea where the souls are hidden._

Souls he would need if he ever wanted to leave this place alive.  He heaved a sigh internally and began the task of casing each room he passed.

Each room more empty than the last until he arrived at what appeared to be a throne room. And on that throne a man dressed in black and golden eyes with a dark haired female figure nearby slowly turning towards him.

“Alexander?” The surprise in Magnus's voice turned his heart a little lighter, but dread filled him a second later as he realized the other figure was Lilith.

_Great. Enemy number one._

“The lovely Shadowhunter you so adore.” she crooned with a viciousness filled with cold hate. Golden dress shimmering as she walked closer to Magnus, hands slowly moving to motion towards Alec. “I could make him yours for...”

“But you won't.” Magnus cut in blue, electric magic shot towards Lilith slamming into her with enough force to knock her back and off her feet. Rolling herself up to her knees she glared at Magnus with hate. Magnus looked calmly back, arms spread out across his throne, legs crossed calmly, head tilted as he watched with distaste at Lilith.

Alec slowly moved further into the room, bow still up and arrow notched towards Lilith.

Lilith shoved her feet under her and stood up angrily. “I will have more power than you shortly. I can make your shadowhunter into something that can survive Edom. Just open a rift for me.” She snarled, red magic sparking off her hands.

Alec moved to Magnus's side, his eyes never leaving Lilith. The air felt cloying to him and it had been increasingly difficult to repress a cough since he had entered the room.

“Get the hell out of my house.” Magnus snapped.  It was not a request.

Lilith straightened to her full height and with one last snarl and a vicious, hateful look towards the two of them she left.

Alec let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding, quickly followed by a coughing fit.

_Damnit. I need clean air._

Magnus approached him quickly equal parts concern and anger written all over his face.   He lifted up a hand glowing with blue magic and aimed it at Alec's chest.

Cool relief hit a moment later as the blue magic worked to clear his lungs of Edom’s poisonous air.

“You will die down here. You must know that. Why did you even come?” Magnus's distress towards Alec's minor coughing fit sent a jolt of anger down Alec's spine.

“I came to get you back!” Alec loudly shouted.  It echoed around them. In the distance Alec could hear a demons cry, feral, bone chilling, and long.

“I cannot leave without the rift reopening. You being safe was the only thing that made me happy to be here.” Magnus replied bitterly, his whole body seemed to deflate in sorrow, shoulders and back slumping slightly.

“Where are Edom's souls?” Alec inquired instead pushing towards practical matters towards his goal, reaching out to touch Magnus’s cheek forcing the warlock to look at him.

Magnus's form froze for a moment, breathed in then straightened to look directly in Alec's eyes. The gold of Magnus's eyes glittered in the red light.

“No.”

_What!? Why?_

Magnus’s face hardened into a mask.  He must have seen the look of disbelief across Alec's face and Alec tried to wipe it clear, dropping his arm with a jerk to stand tall and relax his stance at the same time.

“Why can't you tell me?” Alec pleaded while a fire of rage was starting to build inside.  Rage and fear that Magnus would prefer to stay in Edom rather than tell Alec where the souls were hidden. The souls that powered all of Edom.

_Control the situation.  Stick to the plan._

Magnus snapped voice growing louder as he spoke.  “Because I will not sacrifice thousands of souls just to release myself from my own decisions!”

“You must tell me if you want to see me free of Edom as well then.  The souls may not even be harmed.” Alec stated as calmly as he could while cold fear started to spread down his spine and his lungs started to burn from the air again. The need to cough was starting up again. The souls needed to remain the only way he could get out of Edom, any other way would leave Magnus behind.

Magnus looked torn, old and weary as all his hundreds of years ever could in that moment. Alec felt vaguely guilty for even coming to Edom with that look.  Yet, he had decided he could not live without him, made the decision to do this on his own rather than risk his family.

“I'm not letting you go without a fight.”  Alec declared stepping towards Magnus in an attempt to sway him.

“And I am not risking everything you and I have fought to protect to save one person!”  Magnus yelled.  “Even if that person is the one I love the most!” He finished softly, heartbreak clear in his voice.

Alec rocked back on his heels from that statement. Felt the words like a blow to the chest. Selfish. He had come here because he was selfish enough to love, to want Magnus back in the realm of humanity and Shadowhunters.

“Then tell me where the souls are and we don't risk destroying everything we have fought to protect.”  Alec reasoned, spreading his arms out and gestured towards the open windows where red sky could be seen. Somewhere out there in the vast red plains was what he needed.

“I refuse.”  Magnus said flatly turning away.

“It is the only way.”  Alec pleaded his gut turning to stone as he realized Magnus might not accept his plan.

“There is always another way.”  Magnus replied.

_It’s his magic._

Cold realization hit Alec hard. Magnus had already lost his magic not once but twice.  If Alec destroyed Edom, he might lose his magic a third time.

“You want to discuss being selfish? You really won't tell me the souls location because you _might_ lose your magic?  Magic you gave up willingly _twice!?”_

Magnus spun around to face Alec.  “And I cannot do it again!” Magnus all but screamed into Alec's face, veins in his neck protruding, desperation in his yellow cat-eyes.

_It would break him._

“Fine.” Alec said simple and cold.  He turned and walked away. “I'll find it myself.”

_Or die trying. Morbid. Stop. Do the mission._

Alec walked out of Magnus's home. He hoped Magnus would immediately follow, relied on it.  No such luck.  Apparently stubbornness was a trait they both will always share as leaders. Movement caught his eye to the left.

_Now what._

Alec turned slowly bringing an arm up to grab an arrow from the quiver, notching it, and letting the bow and arrow rest in his arms as he approached where he had seen movement.  He was in Edom, any movement meant a demon. And a demon meant a spy, killer, or worse.

Something heavy slammed into him from behind, followed by a sharp pain in his head. He struggled to hold onto his bow and turn to the attacker but blackness quickly swallowed his vision. Another hit to the head and blackness consumed him whole.

He awoke later in stages. Being dragged along the dirt, some kind of mask over his face to prevent him from seeing anything. Then darkness. Then again another bout of consciousness only to realize his mouth was wet, with what he did not know and did not particularly want to know. The mask was still on and he was still being dragged. The third time he managed to stay awake and groan.

“Good you are awake.”

_What is going on?_

That was Jonathan Morgenstern's voice.

_I'm not dead.  Yet._

The point in Alec's court to not be dead around Jonathan felt like both a win and a loss. Then he realized Jonathan was talking to him and that he should probably be paying attention like a good soldier rather than wallowing in the existential crisis of being alive or dead.

“....hence why I need you.”

_Fuck. What did he just miss?_

“Also, we are here. So if you don't mind just slice yourself up a bit and destroy the runes and we can all go home.”  Jonathan said casually.

_Runes? In Edom?  The book was right?_

The mask was ripped off his face rather harshly and even in the dim light of the red sun Alec found himself blinking at the sudden brightness. He looked around and saw a familiar landscape of red, dead ground and red sky, yet nothing looked the same. With a start he realized the air held no demons flying through it, no demons crying in the background. No demons at all.  Jonathan stood before him, red hair cropped short, dressed all in black, pointed face looking at him with something indecipherable in his eyes.

“Where are we?” Alec cautiously asked Jonathan.

“Edom.” Jonathan replied still staring at him.

_Asshole._

“Typical.” is what came out instead.

Jonathan actually grinned at that. He came closer and Alec noticed that his red hair was covered in a fine layer of dust, teeth just a tad too sharp, and eyes that could not seem to decide on a hazy green or black color.  When he tried to focus on it he realized he was getting a headache.  Jonathan moved to cut the bindings from around Alec's wrists and held up a flask. Alec eyed it warily.

“It's water.”  The demon said with a mocking smirk.

Alec stared at him, unbelieving that this monster could ever give assistance to anyone.  Something wet and cold hit him in the face and he reared back expecting it to burn him.  He started slapping at his clothes to get it off him only to freeze. It was water. Water in Edom. Alec's parched throat and raw lungs screamed at him and he lunged for Jonathan and the water flask.  Jonathan rolled with the lunge and with a simple hip twist flipped them the rest of the way over and pinned Alec to the ground.  It was embarrassing how easy Jonathan won that little tussle.

_And I'm supposed to be this great warrior._

“You get your water when you break the seals to Edom.” Jonathan ordered not letting Alec up.

_No._

Jonathan sat up, a scathing smile growing.  “I thought you wanted to save your precious warlock? That is why you wanted the well of souls, did you not?” 

Alec stared up at Jonathan who was still dangling that water flask over his head with a small triumphant smirk. Then Jonathan tilted the flask back and took a sip of the water, tipped it towards Alec a fraction in offering while his eyes flitted from Alec to something to the side of them. Alec looked over to where he had seen the glance. A rune. It was massive. It stood about 20 feet high, large swirls crisscrossing over each other in an ornate pattern incomprehensible to follow and was unlike any angelic rune he had seen before but he knew instantly it was angelic.

_Angelic runes in Edom. Guess the book was right.  Learn something new every day._

Alec did not want to dwell on why there were angelic runes in Edom he had dwelled on that fact enough when he was researching prior to even traveling to Edom on this suicide mission that suddenly no longer seemed like a suicide mission if those runes were anything to go by that is precisely what he was looking for.

“Why are you helping me?” Alec asked, eyeing Jonathan who continued to pin him to the ground waiting for an affirmative.

“Consider it helping each other. You help me kill my mother, Lilith.  I help you release your boyfriend.” Jonathan blandly stated, like working with the person you wanted to kill a couple days ago was nothing strange.

_Not like I have any help from Magnus._

The thought was bitter but true. Magnus held values above all else. And apparently Alec valued....

_Not going there._

Alec sighed, defeated, hoping that he was right and that rune matched what he remembered of in the book. Stupid book burnt up when he took the portal to Edom. He took a breath and started coughing again. The air was constantly burning his skin and apparently that meant the inside of his lungs as well.

“I'd rather you did this before you keeled over and died on me.” Jonathan stated matter-of-factly and precise.  Alec felt a spark of hatred towards Jonathan as his lungs gave another painful spasm.  But then again he did have demon blood, Lilith's running through him, and was raised in Edom. Cannot imagine Jonathan had many playdates and friends to form any lasting understanding of camaraderie and sharing. The mask was suddenly being shoved back over his head in the midst of his coughing fit. Alec threw an elbow into Jonathan's ribs and was satisfied to hear a grunt and a whoosh of air leave him. But then Jonathan just grabbed him by the throat and held him down while pulling the mask further on. Alec snapped his head up attempting to head-butt Jonathan. Jonathan twisted to the side to avoid it and punched him in the face with the flask. Metal hit the side of his head and he saw stars.

“Stop trying to kill yourself!” Jonathan roared irritated.

Alec froze again. Everything in this place kept throwing him curveballs today. The mask was yanked fully into place and he inhaled to demand what he meant when he realized he could breathe clean air. Well, cleaner than he had been breathing. He opened his mouth to speak, only to realize he could not.  Panic started to set in.

“Relax. The mask allows air flow but removes your capacity to speak in the process. A give and take. Now can you toss your blood over the runes. We have several more to go and I for one do not want to meet Lilith while trying to break a bunch of idiot souls free to kill her with.”

_Right ok. I can do that._

Some distant part of his mind was asking himself why the hell he was taking orders from a madman and not running back to Magnus like he should have done the moment he awoke and could breathe. Then again if he had run he would probably be dying on the open plains gasping for breathe right about now too.

Waiting for his breathing to calm down he removed the mask to see.

Alec grimaced to himself and picked up his blade. A Seelie blade as any of the angelic ones would have been detected the moment he entered into Edom and made a small cut across his arm to smear along the rune.

“More.” Jonathan sounded ecstatic, jubilant, like he was nearing some pleasure peak rather than watching Alec spill the tiniest amount of blood. He spared a glance towards him and saw black eyes watching the drops of blood spill onto the rune where it sparked ominously.

“It needs more of your blood. Angel blood.” Jonathan pushed reaching out like he might take the knife and slice up Alec himself.

Alec stepped away.  “I'm not committing suicide on the first rune. How many of these are there?”  He questioned following the rune with his blood.

“Seven” Jonathan replied watching the ground spark with every smear Alec applied.

_That might kill me._

He glanced at the massive rune realizing all 20 feet of it would need some trace of his blood on it. Deep breathe, cut across the top of his arm, pain bloomed, and began his task. Vaguely wondering how far they would need to walk between each rune as he mapped out the rune in his own blood. Watching it soak the red in so it was hard to tell where he had placed his own blood sometimes. When he was done Jonathan was looking at him with something akin to awe. Why he was not really sure. It was just blood and a rune. Jonathan's own blood, demonic, could probably do a host of damage in other ways. Granted Alec’s blood was supposedly about to destroy an entire realm.

_Definitely, might kill me._

When he was finished with the first rune.  Jonathan finally, finally gave him the water flask which he guzzled down quickly.  Only realizing after he had drunk half of it that he would need to partition out the last half for the other six runes.

_Magnus, you better be worth this_.

They moved onto the next rune and the next and the next. No demons were ever to be seen and he watched Jonathan keep replacing runes on his own body but they glowed red rather than gold and were unlike any angel rune he had seen before.  Jonathan drew something on his back at some point between rune five or six, whatever it was made the lightheadedness that had slowly developed completing the other runes fade slightly.  Alec weakened by now could not fight him off.

When they reached the last rune Alec's heart sank. He was already covered in sweat, shaky from lack of blood and what he was staring at was easily twice the size of any of the other runes they had completed.

“Go on Alec. Complete it and your mission is over.”

_The mission._

Alec knew they had been conversing periodically during their travels between runes.  Did not think the demonic boy had paid attention to anything he had said, until Jonathan referenced the mission and in his anemic state understood he must have said this was his mission at some point. The same mission as Jonathan, only Jonathan did not have the angel blood to do it.

Alec reached up to the last rune. Swiped the blade across his arm. Again. Several other marks had already formed crisscrossing in bright red patterns that oozed blood slowly. He hated the appearance of them, it made him look weak.

Alec felt his parabati rune begin to heat up in warning.  A warning that he was testing the limits of his own body and that even from this distance Jace might notice that something was wrong, that Alec was not in the Institute, not at Magnus's loft, not even in the realm.

A hand gripped his arm and Jonathan moved it across the rune for him. Alec slowly opened his heavy eyes to watch as Jonathan moved his arm for him and sliced into his arm again, more deeply than Alec had done and continued to follow the path of the rune.  

Alec could feel the strength of the souls behind that last rune.  He could feel their pain and despair at being trapped here for all eternity, their anger, their hate, their envy.  His arm was still moving, still bleeding out onto the rune.  The parabati rune at his side was starting to hurt, burn, pulse, screaming at him not to let go.  He felt Jonathan lift him up as they climbed through the rocks and rubble to reach each point high in the air.  His head was starting to feel immensely heavy.

“Stay awake. You must stay awake for the entire ritual.  Fight for it.” Encouraging words from the least likely source, but words Alec accepted eagerly.  He concentrated on breathing, on holding his eyes open as Jonathan moved his body around like a rag doll over the last rune.  Finally, finally it was complete. All forty feet of it soaked in Alec's blood.  And all Alec can think about was not freeing Magnus but of Jace and how his parabati rune was on fire.

A deep explosion under the dirt and the rock before them crumbled, the souls came pouring out.  White streaks flared past, screaming and crying.  Some of the souls crashed into the ground near them and winked out almost instantly.  The bulk of the souls, a beacon shooting straight into the sky like white lightning.  The sounds of the screaming souls deafening, through it all Alec heard Jonathan screaming something about Lilith coming but he was too exhausted to move, breathing had become wretchedly painful now. 

Arms wrapped around him under his shoulders and picked Alec up, hauling his body along the ground, rock cutting into his legs, bright white light engulfing them.  Jonathan dragged him through the souls towards some source they were all pouring from.

“Use it! Use it!” Jonathan frantically shouted.

_Use what?_

Alec wanted to ask but he was drained, throat parched.  He cracked his eyes open, which opened wider when he realized abruptly Lilith was standing before them. But it was not just Lilith, Asmodeus was there as well. Both demons looked terrified and furious.  Alec watched as they brought their arms up red magic coiling around their hands, watched as it turned black and rushed in a torrential wave towards him and Jonathan.

Jonathan dumped him into a pool of something bright. He gasped on it, inhaled it and realized it was power.  Power to destroy everything demonic.

_This is what he meant._

Alec reached into that well, felt the souls rejoice and recognize his angel blood, responding to his every thought, flinging it back at the two greater demons.  He distantly observed as the blast annihilated their red magic and vaporized them. Their demonic magic unexpectedly let loose from its bounds came hurtling towards him and Jonathan impaling them both as it sought to destroy all the souls they stood within, including their own.

Fire and pain.  Pain and darkness.  Dark and cold. Cold and light.  Light.  A pinprick of light and Alec dove for it with everything he had.  Throwing his whole self and soul into reaching that pinprick of light because it was screaming for him. Yelling his name. Begging for his soul to reach it. And he followed that call, rushed towards it with everything he had.  Only to feel the darkness behind him surge up and come crashing down upon him slicing through his body and soul.

Alec screamed.

\------------o--o---o------o---------o------o--------o-------

 

Jace woke up screaming. His whole body felt like it was on fire.  His stomach felt like it was about to heave up everything he ate in the last day. He threw himself from the bed, crashing into the floor on his side and vomited up most of last night’s dinner. He vaguely heard Clary scramble off the bed jostled awake from his thrashing and perfect exit of their bed.

“Jace! Shit! Let me get a towel.” Jace puked again, the pain not receding and his whole body burning.

“Maybe a bucket.” He heard her say. He attempted to get up to make it to the bathroom, only to discover he did not have the energy and just ended up sick again.

_Yup, stellar sexy man over here. Just puking my guts up. What the fuck is wrong?_

Clary returned with a bucket, towels, water, and her stele. She quickly started to draw an iratze only to stop.

“Jace, its red.” Clary warned in concern.

Ice, cold dread went down his back. Red meant infection. Red meant demon.

“Least we know why I am sick. Thought it was something I ate.” He tried to joke feebly. Clary just frowned and called Isabelle on her phone to come to Jace's room with someone from the infirmary to help them get Jace there.  Jace laid there trying to curtail the burning, spinning, awful pain he was feeling.  He managed to take stock of his body, his focus traveled to his parabati rune. The pain was mostly centered on the rune and he yanked his shirt up to confirm it was still etched on his skin. The black parabati rune stood stark against his skin, which appeared unnaturally pale at the moment, while the skin directly around the rune appeared blistered and red.

“Alec.” Terror. The pain he was feeling was not because he was sick it was secondhand. Alec. Alec was feeling that pain, that burning.

“Alec.” he said again because he cannot seem to say anything else.  Kept repeating Alec's name over and over again as Isabelle and the nurse arrived to take him to the infirmary.

“What happened!?” Izzy questioned franticly, her face etched in concern as she and the nurse lifted him onto a stretcher. The nurse washed his arm with a small pad and Jace felt a slight pinch as a needle was jabbed into his arm, followed by a cool feeling starting from the needle and working its way up his arm.  An IV.

“It’s Alec.” Jace sobbed out again, trying to get them to understand.  It was not him that they needed to be caring for. “Please get to Alec.  Alec.  Alec was at Magnus's.  Alec was doing research. Alec…”

“I need you to take a breath and calm down.” It’s the nurse.  He glared at her feeling his ire rise from being told what to do, when they clearly did not understand.

“My job right now is to care for you. Your parabati will be called and checked on.” The nurse informed him gentle but stern.

“I'll go.” Interjected Izzy and the relief Jace felt from knowing finally, finally someone was going to check on Alec made him lay back suddenly drained with bone weary exhaustion.  The pain that had woken him and annihilated his ability to function was starting to fade to a more manageable level seated right inside his parabati rune. Pulsing, hot, quivering with some energy he cannot identify and was to weary to attempt.

“Take Clary with you.” Jace ordered weaker than he expected.

“No, I'm staying here with you! We have no idea what just happened and with all you have been through these last months. I'm not leaving.”  Clary stated firmly convinced in her own authority on what Jace really needed.

Izzy started to head out the door, clearly going to check on her brother’s status at Magnus's, phone in hand. “Mom...” Jace heard her say as she exited.

_Good. Least someone listens._

Maryse had been with Alec last night as he searched book after book for a way to release Magnus.

_I should have been with him. He needed me._

Jace glanced over at Clary, guilt and anger formed low in his gut. Guilt that he had chosen Clary once again over his own parabati.  Angry that Clary did not listen to him.

_Alec was right._

His side pulsed with the thought. Burned again and Jace finally looked down at it again. Red blood coated the rune. It was oozing blood. Jace struggled to recall what Alec had told him when he had died and was brought back by the Angel. The rune disappeared right?  He never said anything about it bleeding and this much pain.

_He's dead._

Pulse. Burn. Pulse.

“Jace, I'm contacting the Silent Brothers. When a parabati dies the rune should disappear not bleed.” the nurse stated and Jace hated her for it.  That pulse he felt was another heartbeat, another soul.  It had to be.

_He is NOT dead!_

Tears that had been threatening to fall since he first fell out of bed are now sliding down his face in wet, hot trails. Jace gasped, trying to hold himself together as the nurse leaves. He let out a ragged breath, a choked sob, and Clary was sliding her arms around him holding him. He tensed, throwing his head back and tried to shake her off screaming a loud, primal sound of grief. He felt gutted and Clary tried to hold onto him as he sobbed against the pain. He vaguely heard Clary trying to soothe him. His hand held over his bleeding rune, begging in his mind for Alec's soul to find him, to reach him, to be alive.  The bed jostled as he was taken to the infirmary.  Eventually, he fell asleep in Clary’s arms.

_Be alive._

\--------o------------o-----------------o---------------o-----------------------o-----------o----------------------

Jace was shaken awake a few hours later. Blearily opening his eyes, noting black hair not red before registering Izzy staring at him with a hand on his shoulder, feeling hope bloom in his chest before he registered her face. Her face was pale, streaked with tears, and she appeared shaky. Maryse was also in the room with them.  No Clary.  A sick feeling filled his stomach, churning with dread.

“Where's Alec?” Jace asked cautiously.

“We don't know.  Jace, I think he went to Edom alone to get Magnus back.” Izzy shakily said.  She sounded like she has been crying for hours already. He looked to Maryse.  Anger exploded in his gut.  Anger that she did not protect her own son.  Fear chased the anger.  Alec was injured or worse.

_Where were you?_

Jace ignored that internal voice reprimanding himself.

“You were with him, weren't you!?” Jace screamed, anger won. His fear for where Alec was left him barely able to focus on anything but trying and failing to track him. He closed his eyes and tried again. Nothing but a pleasant warmth that also felt brittle and cold, two feelings wrapped in one and he felt his head swim as he tried to track Alec again.

Maryse grasped his hand in hers.

“Jace, stop. I was with Alec last night when he was researching on how to release Magnus from Edom. He found something. A rune within Edom that holds all the souls the demons there have ever captured. He wanted to release them. It was supposed to destroy Edom thus releasing Magnus.” She paused, choking back a sob for her eldest and pushed on. “I told him to get some rest and that we would discuss it in the morning.  When Izzy called me I knew what he had done.  He had gone alone to find Magnus.”

Jace pulled away.

_No! No. No. No._

“It worked.” Izzy sounded tearfully proud of her brother in that moment.

“How do you know?” challenged Jace, disbelieving.

Izzy reached out taking his hand in hers.  “Last night around the same time you had your...attack. Our sensors picked up a massive influx of souls.  Jace it was immense.  Large enough that some mundanes without the Sight could see it. Both Simon and Lucian called thinking it was an attack and wanted to notify us. Simon said it was just a giant pillar of light traveling from the ground to the sky. Idris is sending envoys over to ensure the two points the souls traveled through are closed now.”

Jace looked at Izzy as she spoke.  What she was saying made sense.  Simon would have certainly wanted to inform them of any attacks.  He was dating Izzy and his best friend was Clary. He was caring to an annoying fault, devoid of being selfish and would throw himself into any danger his friends would need.

“If it worked then where are Magnus and Alec?” Jace questioned, looking between Maryse and Isabelle.  His attention became side-tracked when the nurse walked in with a silent brother trailing behind, long robes of grey wrapped around him, blue dyed hair, and no stitches over his face or over his eyes.  He smiled at Jace.

_That is NOT a silent brother._

“I am Brother Zachariah. I am here to examine your parabati bond, if intact or broken.”  The silent brother’s voice echoed inside Jace’s head.  If it was corrupted by something new was left unsaid.  The silent brother reached a hand out towards Jace's side.  His side remained covered in bandages that were soaked with blood and whatever gel the nurse had applied to it before giving him some medicine to knock him out for a few hours earlier.

Anxiety spiked through him at seeing the hand.  Suddenly, fearful that perhaps there was something to fear in his and Alec's bond.  Alec used to have a crush on him prior to meeting Magnus.  That was ages ago.  No, he loved Alec but he knew, knew the bond was never corrupted. The hand landed on his side and he bit his lip to keep from screaming at the pain, jolting in the bed in an attempt to escape. The silent brother seemed unmoved by his brief, embarrassing display of weakness.  Jace could feel Izzy and Maryse watching him carefully.  Maryse with concern etched on her face. Izzy looked more agitated and confused by his response.

Jace felt a shiver of angelic power emit from the silent brother toward his parabati rune. Felt as it touched the rune ever so gently, a soft caress surprising him as if the silent brother understood how two souls linked would itch to throw the intruder out. As it was that brief touch was enough for Jace to feel Alec's side of the bond push at the silent brother swiftly throwing the tendril of angelic power out of the rune, it had all taken less than a second.

_Alec. I felt him. He's alive._

Relief.

“Your parabati appears to be alive. But he has been exposed to a great deal of dark magic. The bond is unbroken, it is not corrupted.”  The silent brother turned his eyes to meet Jace's as he spoke, there was a sadness for him that spoke of a deeper understanding.

“ _But there is something wrong_.”  The Silent Brother spoke directly to Jace’s mind.  His heart froze, then resumed its frantic beating.

“If nothing is wrong why is he in pain?” Maryse's confused, sharp voice pierced Jace's brain like a bullet.

_He only told me that something is wrong._

Jace found himself examining this silent brother.  He was unlike any silent brother he had ever met.  Bright blue black hair, spiked into some new edgy design, face relaxed, soft smile fixed firmly in place.  The silent brother lifted his hand away from Jace's rune and dropped it to his side, turning to Izzy and Maryse.

“He will recover with time.  Give him plenty of sunlight and water and ensure he does not leave the Institute for at least two weeks.” The Silent Brother intoned through their heads.

“Hey! I'm not a plant!” Jace cried affronted, his dignity was on the line.

Izzy smiled at that, taking up the space that the silent brother had stood in a moment ago, arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders in a hug.  Jace leaned into it, finding that he was craving comfort a bit more than usual since his graceful fall out of his bed earlier.

“I'm glad you are going to be ok.” Izzy tightened her hold on him for a moment before leaning back. “No way am I allowing you to vanish on me again.”

_You and me both_.

Jace glanced towards Maryse.  Her lips were in a thin line, unbelieving of the status the silent brother had given on Jace's parabati rune.

_Makes three of us._

“Why don't you and Izzy take some food out to the internal courtyard for the rest of the day, I will be calling in some favors to see if we cannot locate Alec or Magnus.” Commanded Maryse.

_Hasn't lost her drive to finish a problem._

“Yeah sounds like a good idea.” Jace moved to sit up slowly, grimacing when his rune scrapped against the bandages.  Seriously, how can something so small cause so much pain?

“Do either of you have anything Max could use to track them with?” Maryse questioned heading towards the door with the Silent Brother.

_Max was here!?_

“Um...just use anything at Magnus's wouldn't that count?  As for Alec, he has an old t-shirt looks kind of green and black that he always wears.  Use that.” Jace said as he pulled a shirt over his head first.  He knew it was Alec’s favorite and probably oldest piece of clothing he owned, which would make tracking him with it easier.  Jace glanced over at Maryse to verify she understood.  He received a blank, you can do better than that look instead.

“A shirt?” Maryse deadpanned.

_Not like he owns much here. The institute always took priority over anything._

Jace closed his eyes thinking.  “Er, maybe use the blade I gave him for one of his birthdays. Silver with arrows inlaid on the sides and angelic runes on the hilt, he would not have been able to take that one to Edom anyway.” A smile and a nod and Maryse turned and walked out.

_Love you too, mom._

Jace grabbed his underwear and pants, gave Izzy a short look to which she turned around and finished getting dressed.

_Time to go be a plant._

“Let's go be plants together.” chuckled Izzy as she wheeled over a black shiny chair with wheels, armrests, and a buckle on it for him to sit in. Jace glared at it like it would physically hurt him if he so much as got near it.

“I'm not sitting in that.”

\--------------o---------------o------------------o-------------------o------------------------o------------------------

A few minutes later found Jace being pushed down the hallway in said chair pouting while Izzy skipped along behind with her hands controlling where he went. He crossed his arms and huffed, hoping she would understand just how much this was degrading and beneath him.

_Least it’s only shadowhunters here and no one else._

“Izzy!”

_Fuck. Simon._

Simon came running up to them out of breath, geeky t-shirt and jeans one size to big, skidding to a stop in front of Izzy.

_Still not used to being a vampire._

“Hey are you ok?” Simon glanced at Jace with real concern in his brown eyes, brows creased and a small frown.

“Fine.” Jace bit out glaring at the vampire in a challenge.

“We're going out to the courtyard for lunch and some sunlight.  Want to join us?” chimed in Izzy.

_No we do not want him to join us._

“Of course!” Simon said brightly.

_Love-sick fool._

Which was how Jace found himself outside with Simon and Izzy eating a decent meal and guzzling water like he had been running the length of the Sahara desert.

“So, um, what happened exactly?” Simon asked, his eyes flitted between the two of them back and forth waiting for an answer.

Jace closed his eyes, trying once again to search out Alec only to find a calming warmth now followed by a cold spike of brittle pain and then nothing.  He opened his eyes and glared at his water bottle like it was the waters fault he could not track his own parabati correctly.

“We are not really sure yet.  We know Alec tried to get Magnus back and that he is now missing.”  Izzy said.  She gave Jace a quick glance, concern held there before looking back to Simon. “If I know my brother he went to Edom with a plan.  He never does anything without a plan.  We know he is alive.  We do not know where he or Magnus are located right now.  Mom is having Max track them now.”

“Isn't Max like twelve? I thought you had to be a full shadowhunter to do missions?” Simon's question had some merits but he did not know just how good Max was turning out to be as a tracker and shadowhunter. There was apparently very little Max could not track and he did not need much to go on to track anything to begin with.  It was a rather rare skill to track that well.

“Max is a full shadowhunter.  He has his angelic rune and tracked Jonathan when no one else could.  I think mom has the right idea.  If anyone can find my brother it is him.” Izzy sounded like Maryse then, all conviction and strong belief that they could find them.

Pulse, Burn, Pulse.

Jace put his hand over the bandage.  He did not want to be here.  He wanted to be far away from here.  Far, far away, to where ever Alec had gone.

_Where you go. I will follow._

Only he could not follow him this time.  Whatever path Alec had chosen, Jace had deemed unworthy of his own time and energy.  He had done so to many times that Alec had not even bothered to ask for his help anymore, instead headed into Edom without even requesting Jace’s presence.  How had the bond survived whatever the hell happened when they were incredibly distant.  Jace engrossed with Clary and his own problems, Alec with Magnus and the Institute.

Izzy's phone rang.  She picked it up from the picnic cloth and swiped “Mom?” A pause as she listened. “Yeah, yes, we are on our way.  Simon is with us.” She hung up and looked at the two of them a smile growing.

“Max tracked Magnus!” Izzy smiled.

_Why not Alec!_

Jace bit back the immediate retort, clenched his jaw shut with effort.  Started instead to gather up their things that he could reach without putting any undue pressure on his side.  Simon started helping as well, glancing at Jace with that same concern Izzy had given him earlier.

_Get a grip._

“Look Simon. I'm fine. I know Alec. Izzy is right. Alec would have gone in with a plan to get Magnus out.” Jace said as confidently as he could.

_Please have gone in with a plan.  A real plan._

Simon just gave him a sadder look, one that made him wonder what the hell he was thinking in that vampire brain of his.  Jace decided he actually did not want to know whatever sympathy Simon had concocted for him and turned to Izzy so they could head to the ops center.

“I'm sorry.” Simon blurted out.

_Huh?_

Jace turned his head back to look at Simon again, waiting for him to explain.  He tried shoving his concern for Alec away from his face so he would not look so pathetic, hoped he appeared a bit like himself, strong and self-assured.  Jace attempted to plaster that on his face.

“I said a long time ago that you and Alec never had each other’s backs.  And well, seeing what the rune does to you when you when the other gets hurt.  You are kind of forced to have each other’s backs, right?  Kind of like a brothers in arms or Jedi force brothers.”

_We don't._

That thought stung.  Jace pulled a smiled, was not quite sure if it ended up being a grimace or a smile and plopped himself in the stupid chair of shame.  Izzy patted him on the shoulder as if what Simon had just said held true and started to wheel him inside.

Izzy parked him near the ops table and he noticed her blinking back tears even as she smoothly sat down in her seat.  While she had been putting up a brave front all this time, her worry for her brother ran just as deep as Jace's and Jace felt stupid for not acknowledging that when they were in the courtyard now.  He reached out a hand to her; Izzy took it and gave his hand a small squeeze before they both dropped their arms again to focus on Maryse and Max, both of whom seem to be waiting for someone.

Jace glanced at the others at the table.  Clary, check, Izzy, himself, Max, check, check, check, Simon, tagalong check, Lydia, that’s new, Clave wasted no time in getting Alec's temporary replacement here, check, who were they waiting on.  Jace did not have to wait long.  Magnus came striding down the corridor towards them.  Wearing a black embroidered shirt that had silver etched through the sleeves and silver buttons, hair spiked, and black pants, looking energized from his time in Edom rather than depressed.  Jace felt Magnus's eyes slide to him, do a once over, as Jace's eyes traveled the length of Magnus's body when he got to the top Magnus's was looking at him strangely and with a raised eyebrow.  Magnus’s eyes were unreadable.

Jace tried not to sink lower in his chair of shame and instead placed his arms on the armrests trying to fill up as much space as possible.

_Stupid chair.  There went the rest of my pride._

Stuck in the wheelchair Jace leaned back waiting for Maryse to begin now that Magnus was here.  Present and apparently unharmed.  Odd.

“I want to begin by saying the good news first.”  Magnus was the one who started speaking, his voice not betraying anything to what he felt.  “Edom is destroyed, Lilith and Asmodeus both appear to be destroyed as well.”

“How did you get out?”  Jace found himself asking before he really thought it through.

Magnus hesitated just the briefest of fractions. “I escaped because someone with angel blood broke Edom's seals.”

“Did you sacrifice Alec for it?” Jace snapped.

_Woah. Where did that come from?_

“Jace, I doubt Magnus would want any harm to come to Alec.”  Izzy sounded annoyed and hurt that Jace would even consider it.  Her arms tightening around herself.  Magnus looked perturbed and not a little angry, eyes narrowed on Jace and hand curled up as if about to summon his magic forth.  Jace did not realize he had considered it until the words had left his mouth.  To late now.

“Alec came to me in Edom.  He had the plan in place but did not know where the souls…” a pause, as Magnus swallowed. “Did not know where the souls were located.  I wanted to send him back as soon as I could.  I was not going to risk him or the souls just to be free of my own decision.”  Magnus closed his eyes, briefly and Jace wondered what hidden pain he was dealing with right now as well.  A part of him did not really care either.  “We argued and he only left my sight for a moment.”  Magnus turned his eyes towards Jace.

Jace suddenly needed to grip the table in front of him, dreading the next words.

“I lost him.  When I went after him someone had already taken him.” Magnus said, the sorrow in that gaze now made Jace feel uncomfortable.  He had no idea how to react to someone who had just lost a lover, a friend, and whatever else Alec was to the warlock, when that loss was due to an attempt to save him.  The guilt would be crushing Jace if it was him.  How the hell was Magnus still standing, talking even.

_Guess being over a hundred years old teaches you some tricks._

“So who hates Edom enough to burn it to the ground with angelic power?” Before Jace was even through asking the question he already knew the answer, Clary answered for him though.

“Jonathan.” she breathed the name, eyes widening in fear.  If Jonathan had Alec, then just how much of a chance did he stand?  Jonathan had already taken out several institutes and supposedly the Seelie queen as well.  Jace's gut twisted into a knot, the kind he could not escape from as thoughts of what types of torture one would need to endure to cause his rune to bleed shot through his head.  He forced that thought process to stop.  It was harder to do than he wanted to admit.  Forced himself to focus on Clary and her red hair, bright and strong.

“Max, he said he tracked Jonathan before can we track him again?” Clary demanded to know, green eyes flashing with a barely suppressed need to do something. Jace felt the same but the exhaustion from last night still clung to him like a shroud and for once he was grateful of the stupid chair of shame that Izzy had been carting him around in. At least he did not have to try and remain upright like the rest.  He glanced towards Magnus, who sure enough looked to be sagging under an unseen weight.

_We're both grieving._

“Why can't we track Alec?” interjected Jace.

The tense silence that followed filled Jace with another bout of dread.  Nausea rising, he was going to be sick again.  He felt like that was all he was feeling the last day was dread.  His eyes shot to Max.  Little Max dressed in a casual shirt and blue jeans, shock of brown hair reaching his neck, who was not quite a child but not quite a man yet.  Max shifted on his feet uneasily, could not quite meet Jace's eyes, head down.

“I tried to track him.  It’s confusing.  It kept leading me back to you in the courtyard.  There was another pull but I cannot follow it because it’s to jumbled up with....you.” Max finally said, slowly, like he was afraid of Jace's reaction to this news.  Jace stared. Face blank and frozen.  Brain refusing to work.  Shut down.  He was the reason they could not track Alec.

_Alec._

“Parabati can always be tracked, this should be simple.” Jace unfroze and all but snarled the words at Max.  Max took a startled step back, head coming up, and sneering at Jace in anger.

“Then you try tracking him!” Max shouted, eyes flashing, and showing the dark circles under his eyes no kid should have. “I tried alright! I tried for hours! While you lay asleep! I tried when Izzy took you outside in the sun. I tried when mom called you guys here. He's my brother too! And every time I try it doesn't feel right it’s like trying to track two people at once!” On the last bit Max started to cry, Jace instantly felt regret for yelling at him. He was his brother as well. Jace had been adopted to their family when Max was still a baby practically.

“Let's try and deal with the problems we know how to address.” It was Lydia, the replacement. Jace knew she was kind, understanding, good even, and apparently excellent at her job.  But right now he just wanted her gone, she stood where Alec was supposed to stand.  But that thought would not help getting Alec back or help anyone in the long run.

“Alright shoot, where do we start.” Jace asked leaning forward in his wheelchair.

“You are off duty until _that_ heals” Lydia pointed at his side where the parabati rune was bandaged. “Magnus, Max, and Clary I want you to track Jonathan.  I believe the combination of the three of you will boost the tracking to something we can use to actually catch him. Isabelle I need you to figure out a way to make your Malachi contraption work to hold Jonathan, a lot depends on you making that work.  Simon can you get any of the vampires to start searching for any trace of demonic activity in your area that seems unusual.”  Jace was silently impressed, he could see the plan forming.  Although he was a little unsure of any help from the vampires but then again Alec had been making leaps and bounds of progress with all the Downworlders lately towards his cabinet idea.

_Useless. He was useless to help._

Jace grabbed the wheels of the chair of shame, spun himself backwards and started to head back to the infirmary.  Livid that he could do nothing.  Angry at himself that he even needed help over a stupid, burned rune.

_Only it’s not stupid.  It meant everything._

“Hey, wait up.” Simon called.

“What do you want?” clipped Jace in no mood to deal with the vampire.

“Um, to accompany you.  And to talk to you.  And well, I kind of need advice.” The last was said as Simon slowed to a stop beside him, Jace stopped turning the wheels to glance at him.  He grabbed the wheels again to move forward.

_Maybe not completely useless._

“What do you need advice on?” Jace drawled knowing how much Simon and he butted heads due to their past with Clary.

“Well, what exactly does demon exiting from hell look like?  I mean are we searching for something all black and gooey or a shapeshifter or what?” Simon asked not rising to the silent bait, earnest as only he could be.  For the short time Simon had been part of the Shadowworld Jace was still surprised by how little he really knew. Especially, seeing as he was supposed to be part demon now.

“You are the worst vampire.” Jace said, half a joke, half serious.  Simon flashed a smile, pointed teeth showing just to throw Jace off.

“But your only vampire that can help you out.  So by default, the best vampire ever.” Smug and proud. Clary rubbed off on him sometimes or Isabelle's confidence.

“Honestly, I am not sure what we are searching for. The last we saw Jonathan he had black wings, hair was red or white, guy kind of stands out, lots of destruction.” Jace informed him continuing down the path towards the infirmary.

“What if now that Edom is destroyed he doesn't want to destroy now?” Simon asked casually walking beside him.

_The fuck?_

Jace looked at Simon like the idea was preposterous. Seriously, the guy had been on a constant killing and destruction spree since they met him. Where the hell did Simon even form that farfetched conclusion?

“Well, I mean, Clary told me her brother was trapped in Edom since he was a kid.  Hated it down there.  Said he only ever cared about her when he discovered her.” Simon shrugged like the conclusion was not a big deal, walking slowly beside Jace so he could keep up in the blasted chair of shame.  Only it was a big deal.  Jonathan's obsession with Clary had resulted in that rune they spent so much time breaking.  And when they broke it.  Well, that’s what got them into this fucked up situation.  They needed Magnus and all his magical power from Edom to save their asses.  Again.  And Alec, being his noble self, went to go fix that sacrifice.  There was a connection in there somewhere, Jace knew it.  Just could not pin it down.  The fact that his brain was forming a circle of connections meant that the vampire may be onto something, perhaps not the right something, but something nonetheless.  He pushed the wheelchair forward again and maneuvered it around a turn as Simon followed beside him waiting for him to speak.

“I think you are wrong.  I think he still wants to destroy.  Maybe Edom was just the start.” Jace frowned at this train of thought, something did not add up.

“Yeah but you heard Magnus.  You would need angel blood to destroy the runes, to destroy Edom.” Simon reminded.

_Angel blood that only one person in Edom would have had at the time._

Jace grabbed the wheels to stop his forward motion and nearly tipped over, Simon reached out to grab the wheelchair and halt his fall.  “You think Alec is with Jonathon?”

_I can get to you._

“Yeah, sort of. It made more sense in my head. But now not really. I mean how big would those runes need to be to power a bunch of souls powering Edom. How would they have even broken them?”  Simon responded a little nervously.

_Pointless questions._

“The real question is where they would go once that blast of souls ended.  They must have survived because my rune is still there.”  Jace lifted his shirt and peeled the bandage back just to ensure the parabati rune was still there. It looked a little healthier. The blisters had faded but the ugly red around it remained. Simon leaned over him to get a better look. Jace elbowed him in the side rather harshly to back off, the vampire barely acknowledged the hit.

“Shit. That looks and smells horrible.” Simon said taking a step back from Jace, nose wrinkled in distaste.

“So glad I smell like dinner to you.” Jace snarked back.

“No I mean, it smells like you got blasted with a lightning bolt or electrocuted.  Also you smell terrible.  All that angel blood with....” Simon trailed off waving his hand at Jace's side like that was supposed to sum up whatever it was he was trying to convey. Jace raised an eyebrow and cocked his head at Simon's eloquent description of whatever the hell happened to him.

_Electrocuted?_

Jace glanced down at his side again, examined the rune, angry red around it and the rest of his skin smooth and flawless. The rest of his runes untouched by whatever had plagued him last night.

“I do think you are right that Alec is with Jonathan in some way.  Prisoner maybe.  He is alive for some reason. Jonathan would not keep him around except to be used later.”  Jace directed his gaze back up at Simon and covered the rune with the bandages again. “As for what to look for, go with your gut. Always works for me.”

Simon smiled a genuine smile, clapping Jace on the back. “We will find them both. Take Jonathan out and get Alec back. You'll see.”

Jace wished he could believe him. Because wherever Alec really was according to their rune, it was really not a good place.  He rolled the chair of shame the rest of the way to the infirmary ignoring the looks from other shadowhunters at their greatest warrior stuck in a wheelchair with no visible wounds.

_Something is wrong with the bond._

The thought brought him back to what the Silent Brother had told only him earlier.  There was something wrong and whatever it was, was dangerous enough for a silent brother to want to hide it.

_Fuck. Alec what did you do._

Jace parked the wheelchair near the bed and hoisted himself up on the bed.  At least moving seemed to be getting easier as the day progressed, he went to lay down.

“Why aren't you outside?” The nurse demanded scowling and rushing towards him.

_Really?  I just want to rest._

“Go outside. Do whatever you wanted to do in here out there.”  Jace sighed, dragging himself back off the bed and back into wheels of shame.  Wheeled his way back outside to where he, Izzy, and Simon had their picnic and flopped down on the grass. Turning over to stare up at the clear sky.  Sun shining down brightly, a clear day devoid of clouds.  The complete opposite of how he had felt since everything exploded.

_Literally._

Jace ran a hand over the parabati rune, feeling a small pulse of warmth, for once no pain, just a calm exhaustion.  The fight finally dragged out of him and Jace fell asleep staring up at the sky.

When he came to it was night and Clary was beside him with her notepad, drawing.  A blanket had been placed over him at some point.  He felt weak for it, everyone else had jobs and all his job was to go rest.  Well he rested.

“Hey you.” Clary said giving him a soft smile, looking down at him.  Her fiery red hair looked maroon in the darkness.  She looked beautiful and Jace wanted to kiss her for it.  Jace sat up.

“Hey. How long have you been here? Did you track Jonathan?” Jace questioned.

Clary looked away, closing her sketchbook.

_Not again._

“Max says there is something wrong again.  He is losing confidence in his ability to track these two and insisted on taking a break.  His definition of break was to track other stuff throughout the whole institute.  We found everything he wanted to challenge himself with.  Including Magnus deciding to play hide and seek.” Jace kind of wished he had been awake to watch that.  High Warlock of Brooklyn playing hide-and-seek with a kid, even if it was more for training purposes.

“So what’s wrong?” Jace pressed.

“He says he doesn't feel demonic when he tracks him now, just like another shadowhunter.  It’s strange.  Something happened to Jonathan to change the signature.”  Clary explained.

Max could make out the difference between Jonathan before and after the destruction of Edom.

_Impressive._

“So why aren't we tracking that?”  Jace demanded more than a little irritated that she did not explain why they could not track Alec.

“We did.”  She looked up at the sky and kept her face turned away from him as she said it, but reached out to hold his hand anyway.

_God, what did you find?_

“Jace, Jonathan and Alec were found together.  There are marks of demonic runes all over Alec.  We lost two people just on reconnaissance.  Jace, Alec killed them.  Jonathan pulled him back and they escaped.”  So many questions flashed through Jace’s mind at that, too many to even begin to settle on one, except his brain did anyway.

_Demonic runes on BOTH of them._

“How did you know Alec had runes like that on him?” Jace could not say it.

_Demonic._

“He was mostly naked.” Clary said not looking at him, face covered in a blush.  She must have been there then, witnessed the destruction Alec, not Jonathan wrought.

“Well, I rested. What’s the plan?” Jace needed to fix this somehow.  That was his parabati out there and with the Clave envoy probably here by now looking over the souls entry and exit points, having a shadowhunter running around with demonic runes really did not bode well for anyone.

“Izzy is reconfiguring her weapon to house both Alec and Jonathan. Magnus is helping her.”  Clary explained finally looking at Jace again.

“Good, let’s go train. I need to do something and if I have to ram a sword through someone to do it, I need to be ready for it.” Jace said restless energy forcing him to move.

_Just don't let it be Alec._

\-------o-------------o----------------oo-------------o----------------------o-------------o--------------------o-----------------------

Clary and Jace reached the training room together.  It was empty.  The room darkened for the night, runes spread evenly across the floor.  The archery stands were far in the back, the punching bag was closest to him and he moved to it. The room he and Alec used to train in since they were little.  The first punch sent a jolt of pain down his arm.

_Good._

Jace punched again harder. Punched again. And again. Until he was breathing heavily, tears were starting to form in his eyes.  Clary had been doing her own warmup off to the side but he could feel her observing him carefully.  He blinked to clear his eyes. Taking a breath, slow in and out, to appear normal, shoving everything to the back of his head.  Jace turned to look over at Clary.

“Ready to get your ass whipped?” Jace asked all cocky and self-assured.

Clary smiled.  “You'll be surprised how good I've gotten.” Clary tossed back walking over to grab two kindjals, while Jace moved to grab a sword to practice with.  They circled each other first.  But Jace had become wound up and tense with doing nothing the last day or two, he was not really sure anymore.  It was all blurred together.  He charged at Clary instead, sprinting as fast as he could at her.  Jace could spot the surprise in her face, raising her kindjals up before her in a defensive stance.  Jace buckled his knees and slid past, neatly tapping her legs with his sword.  He smirked, it turned into a full blown grin as Clary whirled around fuming at herself that she missed such a large opportunity and left herself open.

“Getting better, huh?” Jace taunted.

She growled in response.

“Again.”  Jace called.

She faced off with him again.  One foot slightly behind her, the other slightly forward, hips turned towards him, her eyes tracking his movements.

Jace took a side approach this time, swiping at her with the sword, allowing her a chance to lock their weapons together.  Jace felt the jolt through his arms as the metal clashed together.

Clary grinned wickedly at him, thinking she had an upper hand.  She brought her free arm up to stab at him.  Jace slid to the side disengaging his blade from her kindjals, leaping out of the way just as her free arm whipped through where he had been standing a moment ago.

Jace did not wait for her to recover, just whirled into her and slammed the sword into her face.  For a moment, Jace panicked thinking he hit her to hard, which he probably did.  But Clary took her blades and tried to slam them towards his ribs.  Jace hopped backwards on his feet, bouncing lightly, before switching stances again, prowling towards her, close enough to be just out of reach.

“Have to keep your opponent confused.  And you Clary need to do better.” Jace gently reprimanded her, poised for the next attack.  She lunged at him swiping at his front with her weapon.  He took another step back, leaning just slightly, easily dodging the attack. Her balance was off because of the lunge and he lifted a foot up and shoved her backwards to sprawl on her back.  Jace leapt on top of her, pinning her to the ground, straddling her hips, one leg on each side, arm raised with the sword in his hand.  She was out of breath.  Jace felt barely winded, energy coursing through him, his practice sword pointed at her throat.

_Always miss this feeling in a fight. The adrenaline._

“I am getting better. You are just being harder on me.”  Clary informed him with a smile.

She dropped her kindjals and tapped out. But she was smiling and leaning up to kiss him.

Jace felt an unexplainable urge to run from that kiss, pull back, turn away, his brain sending signals of flee so strong he gasped on it.  Confused by it. Jace jerked his head to the side so she ended up kissing his cheek instead, bowing his head down to her shoulder trying to figure out what just happened.  He has always enjoyed kissing Clary.  He's in love with her, he thinks.  His rune was burning again, pulsing angrily against his side.  Jace rolled off Clary to check it.

“Not you, I think I tore the skin or something.” Jace panted.    _Now_ he feels winded just from trying to avoid a kiss.

She was watching him, concern and confusion and more than a little hurt.  She knew him well enough that he would not normally turn away from a kiss because of pain. Eyes downcast, she picked herself up off the floor, picked up her weapons, and carried them over to their stand.

_Say something._

The silence was suffocating. More so, because Jace had no idea what made him react that way.  He thought of kissing her again, walking up to her and wrapping his arms around her.

“Let me know when you feel better.” Clary bitterly cut across his thoughts suddenly. “You did just get out of the infirmary. You _are_ released from the infirmary, right?”

Jace tossed her a lopsided grin.  Frankly, he was not really sure he was released or not and did not want to face the wrath of the nurse that has been assigned him.

“Yes.  Of course I am.  Just need some rest and I'll be good to go.” Jace informed her.  It was not quite a lie, really he does feel ten times better than he did before his little nap. “Besides there is some footage I want to view before we catch Jonathan.”

_Catch Alec._

The two headed down to the ops center, where it was still fairly busy for the middle of the night.  Apparently Lydia felt that they needed to be on high alert for Jonathan, that or Alec had some contingency plan laid out in an event like this.  Jace vaguely wondered which reason it was.

Jace plopped down in a chair near the computers hitting the keyboard as Clary took a seat beside him.

“What footage are we searching?” Clary asked.

“Every street near the souls ejection point and then I want to view the mission when you guys went and tracked Jonathan earlier.”  Jace was worried about watching that mission, if they even had footage of it that was not plain blurry from blocks away.  Clary had said Alec killed.  Which meant one, Alec was in fighting condition. Two, his parabati clearly needed his help.

_Why aren't you reaching out to me?_

“You said Max was having trouble tracking due to complications with both Jonathan and Alec. May as well try and give him a place to start.” Jace continued.

They combed through all the footage of the souls exiting Edom, which on their screens looked like a giant white blast through the ground.  Bright, white light crackling up to the sky like lightning, a red glow on the ground where is started.  Logically, Jace knew others were going over this same footage but he wanted to search for one form in particular.  He knew he would recognize it.  He hoped.  Yet after going through several camera angles and nearly 3:00 in the morning Jace was starting to wonder if he was right in his assessment of himself and spotting Alec.  Clary had long since fallen asleep in her chair and Jace was reluctant to carry her to bed.  Mostly, because he did not want to fall asleep again.  His parabati was out there, clearly in danger and he could not find him.  Jace hit pause on the current video of bright, electric light he was watching and reached down to his parabati rune.   He reached for Alec again, finding that same warm, contentment, quickly followed by icy, razor edges, before the connection just stopped.

_Confusing as hell._

Nothing made sense with how the bond was acting.  Unless it was one of those demon runes Clary had mentioned.  But that should have severely injured Alec, not made him capable of fighting, let alone killing two shadowhunters.

He hit play again staring at the screen, movement in the far corner of the screen caught his eye.  Two humanoid forms.  One was dragging the other slowly away from the blaze of souls, crawling really.

_That has to be them._

“Clary!” He grabbed her arm and shook her hard. “Clary! I think I found them!”

“Wha?” She groggily opened her eyes, blinking at him a couple times, red hair sticking in all directions.

“I think I found them.” Jace excitedly told her.  Now she was fully awake, scrambling to sit upright in her chair nearly falling over in the process.

“Where?” Clary demanded.

“Here.” Jace pointed and hit play on the video again and pointed at the two forms on the screen. “If we can get Max and Magnus close enough to that location maybe he can see what is really blocking him from tracking them. This would have been their first steps onto this plane again.  Come on lets go wake them up.”  Excitement was bubbling up in him, hope that maybe he could get to Alec in time.

“Jace.  It’s three in the morning.  Jonathan hasn't killed Alec yet.  It’s already been over a day.  If he was going to, he would have done so already.  Also whatever happened in Edom, they were working together.” she pointed back to the screen. “They were dragging each other out of the line of danger.”

Jace's eyes flared wide, fist bunching up, the surge of unchecked anger through him was something he had never felt towards Clary. Ever.

“You don't want to help me get my parabati back.” Jace hissed, but forced his hands to relax, he was not going to hit Clary.  Clary brought her hands up in surrender, but he could see the fire in her eyes.  She was ready for a fight.

“Jace that’s not what I said. I said let’s wait until morning. Then we...”

“No. I dropped everything for you, for your mom, when you first came into the Shadowworld.  I was always there for you as much as I could be.  You were always there for me every step of the way.  But my parabati is asking too much?”  Jace realized he was shaking in anger.  He looked away from Clary because looking at her bright red hair and green eyes was just making him furious right now.

“Jace, we'll get him back.  I promise.  We'll wake everyone up at 6:00.  It’s just three hours away.  Come on, you found something.  Let's go get some rest.” Clary’s calm logical approach sounded right.  It was only three hours, but everything inside Jace itched to start now.  To get to Alec, now.  Because while the blistering pain had abated, what was left in its wake was just as confusing.  He had not been able to fully think without part of himself checking the bond, physically looking at it each time he thought no one was looking at him to make sure the black symbol was still on his side.  He checked it now and felt the same thing he had the last time.

“No.  He is Max's brother.  He would want to be woken up for this.  And Magnus, Magnus just lost Alec to who knows what.  I'm not sure how immortals work with grief but he has to feel something.”  Jace insisted hitting save on the file location.

“And you?” Clary urged looking up at him.

_Fuck. Not going to try and understand that particular mess right now._

“Jace, it’s ok to feel something. Fear even, but we need rest.” Her hands were still up in surrender but she was bringing them towards him.  Jace balked at the idea of touching someone right now.

_It’s just Clary._

He tried to reign in whatever it was that he was feeling, standing up from his chair quickly.

_Definitely, not running away._

“Come on let’s just get some rest, rather than argue.” Jace said to cover his strange restless nerves.

“Ok.” she smiled at him sweetly.  His stomach turned over instead of the usual warm feeling from Clary's looks.  She took his hand and he almost did not let her and lead him back to his, their, room.  His feet felt heavier with each step closer, the urge to pull back became overwhelming.

_I can't._

“Clary.” Jace stopped at the entrance to his room, feet glued to the floor.

She glanced back at him, inquisitive green eyes piercing him.

He wondered if she could sense that he did not want her there. That something vital had shifted in him and until he got that back he could not have her in his room. “I can't.”

She looked confused for a moment, before stepping towards him, into his personal space.  Her hand came up to stroke his face and he broke out in a cold sweat.

“I can't.  Not tonight.  Maybe you should sleep in your room tonight.  I don't want to wake you again if I get sick.”  Jace used the guilt card, he knew her caring soul would do as he asked.  But he just could not touch her right now.  Everything still felt off.  His soul was damaged, a Silent Brother would not even announce the damage to his own family, and Jace was pretty sure that particular Silent Brother was not telling anyone else.  Otherwise, the Clave would have already been down here poking and prodding at him like a lab rat at best, him dead at worst.

“Ok. Come get me if you need anything or call my phone.” She continued to stroke his face and he wanted to rip it off his skin.  He could tell she would rather stay there, but respected him enough to grant his wish for tonight.  She leaned in to give him a kiss, but something she saw on his face made her pause.  Instead she drew him into a hug that Jace let her have.

_Get off me._

Finally she left for her room. Thankful she did not actually kiss him, but he found himself missing the closeness they usually shared as soon as she left his sight.  He collapsed on his bed.  He had not even been awake that long.

_Well you did skip a meal or two today._

Jace closed his eyes and willed sleep to come.

 

O –o – o – o - O

 

Golden haze surrounded him, thinning out in sections, thickening in others turning dark in one part.

_Strange._

Jace took a couple steps through the golden mist, watched as it swirled around him instead.  Wrapping around his body in tendrils and thicker ropes of gold.  He searched the golden mist for some point of reference.  Which was really just that darker, black spot far in the distance.  A dark spot that he realized was Alec.

Jace stumbled towards him as the golden mist suddenly seemed more difficult to push through.

“Alec!”

“Knew you'd find me.” Alec's whole body was glowing the same faint golden color as the mist.

Jace tried to reach out and touch him but discovered he could not move forward enough to do so.

“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you…”  Alec held out his right arm to Jace as they had during the original parabati ceremony.

_Not quite the same words._

“Where you go I will go...” Jace told him, smiling, renewed that he had Alec near him.

Jace reached up his arm to grasp Alec's, this time he could, but when he looked down at their joined arms his smile vanished.  Alec's entire arm was blackened with streaks of darkness following his veins, traveling up his arm.

Alec looked at him.

His eyes were demonic black.

“Alec!”

“The one who sins…”

\----o------o---------o---------o-----------o-----

_“The one who sins…”_

Jace jolted upright in his bed, pulse driving his blood faster and faster through his head, sweat dripped down his spine in a wet, sticky trail, body still tense as if he had just come off a mission.

Jace fumbled and rolled towards the side of his bed, hand reaching out to grab the clock sitting on the nightstand, still trying to blink the dream from his eyes.

5:00am

Jace breathed a sigh of relief. “Good still have time.”

Two hours of sleep wasn’t much, but it left him enough time to check with the nurse and get the go ahead to go on missions again.

_It had been 24-48-36 hours since..._

He really did need to find out what day he was on again.  The disassociation was starting to get to him.  He covered his face with both hands, running them down his cheeks, trying to wipe away the remnants of sleep.

_Strange dream._

He did not normally dream about his parabati, but then again his entire focus had been on him lately.  He still felt exhausted.  He wanted to drop back into his bed, pull the covers over and try for a better dream.  One with Clary or another past girl.

_Crap.  Don’t have time for this._

Jace pushed himself onto his feet, grabbed the nearest pair of pants, hoped they were clean enough, tossed on a grey sweatshirt, black combat boots, and grabbed his stele.  A pause.  He walked back over to his closet and rummaged around in it until he found what he wanted.  A blue cord.  He removed the Herondale ring off its usual chain and put it on the blue cord instead, putting it back over his head when he was done.

_Izzy will probably need another hour of sleep._

She had been working on their main mechanism to entrap Jonathan and now Alec since the meeting yesterday.  However, knowing Izzy she kept a lot of her stuff in Alec’s room as well.  Even when it was frowned on by her parents she always would leave clothes, jewelry, and makeup in her brother’s room.  Now with Magnus in the picture Jace had a feeling the makeup bit had gotten worse.

_Perfect._

Jace wandered down to Alec’s room, pushed the heavy oak door open, and slipped inside to search for what he needed.

_Damnit.  Why is he here?_

Jace froze as soon as he had entered the room.  Magnus lay there asleep, surprisingly without makeup on, sprawled beneath the covers, arms and legs thrashed at odd angles.  Jace doubted he had slept peacefully since returning from Edom.  Now all Jace felt was a strange awkwardness to have just walked in unannounced.

_Didn’t really expect anyone in here._

He debated about glamouring himself to be invisible.  Scoffed.

_Right, cause THAT would work with the High Warlock of Brooklyn._

Instead he tried to walk carefully and quietly over to the dresser which had accumulated most of Izzy’s makeup.  The trek was made easy with no clothing, weapons, or backpacks to impede his way, unlike his own room.

_Thank the Angel, Alec keeps a clean room._

Upon closer inspection of the dresser, a great deal of Magnus’s makeup as well.  Jace figured the warlock just used magic to apply all his abundant and sparkly makeup.  Guess it had to come from somewhere.

_Well crap._

Jace stared at all the makeup contraptions.

_How the fuck does Alec stand this._

Between Magnus and Izzy Alec’s dresser had become a minefield of makeup containers in all sorts of colorful shades.  Jace had no idea which one even held the container called “foundation” or was it “concealer” that he needed to cover the worst of the redness around his parabati rune.  He picked up a couple containers trying to figure out which one he actually needed.  Blue, green, brown.  He set aside the brown one.  He glanced inside a pale colored jar with some kind of paste in it.

_Fuck.  I should have just woken Izzy._

“Is there something I do not know about the great Jace Herondale?  Or is there any particular reason you are currently creeping around looking at makeup at five in the morning.” A very awake warlock spoke from the bed.

_Well, there goes more of my reputation._

Jace spun around to face the warlock, plastered on his best cocky smile.  “Well, you see Izzy wanted something to make her look better for Simon…”

Magnus narrowed his eyes and shot Jace a deadpan look from the bed making him trail off.

“Jace, I’m not stupid.  You were in the infirmary less than a day ago from some sort of injury.  Now you have been benched and cannot join any further missions until approved.  My guess.  You want to cover up whatever your injury is, flirt with the medical staff, and get a pass to get assigned missions again.  How am I doing?”

_Meddling warlock._

Jace knew that was exactly his plan, but to have it thrown at him so obviously made him grind his teeth.

“Not exactly.”  Jace said.

“Then why are you holding my makeup?” queried Magnus, peering at Jace, his head cocked to the side.

Jace cautiously put the makeup he was holding back down as if it was a bomb set and ready to explode at any moment.  Unfortunately for him, all his attention was riveted on the warlock still in the bed and with a crash a large chunk from the pile of makeup slid off the dresser hitting the floor.  A detonation of sparkles and powdery color spread out across the floor and washed over his boots.

_Stupid makeup…_

Magnus huffed out a laugh, bringing a hand up and with a quick wave of blue magic from his hand had the entire mess cleaned up and himself immaculately dressed, makeup in place.

“I shall ask again.  Why are you here?” Magnus’s voice broke no room for argument this time.

Jace shrugged his shoulders, threw his arms out with the movement. “Same as I said before.  Izzy.”

“And I am supposed to believe this plot to improve her appearance for the sake of Simon after I have spent the last ten hours working with her on the Malachi project.” Magnus prowled across the room towards Jace.

_Shit._

Jace despised being out of the loop.  This was the whole reason he needed the makeup anyway.  Get the go ahead from the infirmary for more missions.

“You do know a nurse is going to easily spot makeup covering up whatever you are trying to hide.” Magnus pointed out.

_Not hiding anything._

Even as he thought it his hand inadvertently came up to press against his side over the parabati rune.  Magnus’s eyes zeroed in on the movement.

Jace stayed silent.

“Have it your way then.”  Magnus turned away and headed for the door.  “We have a meeting about our counterattack soon.”

“Fine…  Fine.  I need your help.” Still holding onto the rune at his side Jace hurried to catch up to him before he got out the door, drawing up short when Magnus stopped walking suddenly and swiftly turned around, a small grin on his face.

“What do you need?” Magnus asked.

Jace looked away, then back to meet Magnus’s brown eyes directly.  “I need you to make my skin look normal.” He said.

_There he said it._

“Let me see.” Magnus’s gentle request did not set him at ease.

Jace kept his eyes averted, head turned to the side, as he slowly lifted up his shirt to expose the parabati rune.  It had stopped bleeding hours ago, but last he had checked it was still an angry red all around it.

He heard Magnus’s sharp intake of breath.  Followed by a wash of cool, blue magic.  Magnus stood still for longer than Jace expected, sending more blue magic at the rune.  He glanced down to see what was taking so long.  It looked ok, well better than it had.

Magnus’s magic stopped and he took a step away from Jace. “I don’t know what happened to you or Alec, but I have my suspicions.  That appears to be a much deeper injury that some demon attack.”

_Great, like I don’t have enough to worry about._

Jace checked the rune over.  It appeared unblemished, soft, clean, unmarred skin sat around the rune.  The rune itself a deep black, no scabs or blood on it.  “Perfect.  Thanks Magnus.”

Jace shot out the door.  He did not want to linger on whatever it was Magnus seemed to want to discuss.  Plus, he had no idea how long this glamour was supposed to hold.  On the bright side, he did feel much better now.  No nausea, no weakness, in fact he kind of felt more rejuvenated than he had in a long time.  He broke into a light jog, then with a small laugh burst into a sprint the rest of the way to the infirmary.

“Hey nurse!” Jace shouted.

Said nurse did not look impressed to see Jace sprinting through the corridors of the infirmary.  Jace slid the last couple feet into her station and came to a graceful stop directly in front of her, threw on his best smolder and cocked his head to the right, small smirk in place.

“Hey.  So, I feel a ton better.  You said I needed rest.  Got that done.  Ate some food.  Got some sunshine.  Feel completely healthy.  Give me the release to go on mission today?” Jace said all with complete confidence.

She barely batted an eye.

“We’ll see, you are supposed to be on leave for two weeks, not a day.  Go in room three.  Strip the shirt off and I’ll be in in a moment to check your vitals and the injury.”  She turned away to start entering information into the computer in front of her.

_This had better work._

Jace glanced behind him and scanned the hallway doors looking for the right room.  Spotted it, pushed off the nurse’s desk and jogged over to the examination room, mostly to show off that he could move easily.

_Healthy as a horse._

He hopped up on the table inside, pulled off his sweatshirt and began to play with his stele as he waited.  Spinning it around his hands and twirling it between his fingers.

The nurse entered, setting her instruments to the side.  Put on her gloves before she picked up one instrument and began to run him through each test, temperature, blood pressure, eyes, last she took a look at his side.

“Have you experienced any nausea since your episode?”

“No.”

“Have you experienced any hallucinations?”

“No.”

“Have you experienced any pulls or pain in your chest?”

“No.”

The nurse typed some notes down into his file.  Ran a hand over his parabati rune, no red marks around it to be seen.  Jace nearly grinned in glee.  This was going to work.

“I have no idea how you were able to recover so quickly.  Your parabati rune was clearly damaged from either your side or your parabati’s.  Which means your soul may have been at risk.  You already are aware of the risks of a weakened soul outside of this Institute.  However, perhaps your angel blood has allowed for you to completely heal more quickly than most.” Matter-of-fact and clinical the nurse typed away on her computer while she spoke.

_Lilith._

“So am I cleared?”

“Yes, you passed everything remarkably well.” There was a strange note of dissonance in her voice.  Jace glanced at her, making sure she was still typing out the needed paperwork to get him back to active duty.  She was.  But she also had a small frown on her face.

_Just needs to hold until I get him back._

She hit print.  Jace had an urge to just reach out and grab the paperwork before she became suspicious.  Settled for spinning his stele through his fingers again, pocketing it, and throwing on his shirt instead.  It finished printing.

_Longest goddamn wait ever._

She picked it up, signed it, and stamped it.

_Anytime now._

The nurse handed it over to him. “You are all set for active duty.  You may take that to Maryse or Lydia to be assigned.  Good luck on your next mission.”

Jace grinned, thanked her, and sprinted out, paper in hand.  A joyful feeling bubbling up through him as he finally felt like he could take a step closer towards getting his parabati back.  He glanced at one of the clocks as he ran by to reach Maryse’s office.  5:45.

_Shit. 15 minutes.  Maryse better be there_. 

He burst into what should have been Alec’s office without knocking.  His adoptive mother sat at Alec’s desk speaking with Lydia, they both looked towards him as he careened through the door, paper waving wildly in his hand.

“I can be on active duty again.  Assign me to the mission to catch Jonathan and get Alec back.” He practically shouted at them, like they were not five feet from him.  Lydia looked like she might laugh and had brought a hand up to her mouth.  Maryse had her face screwed up in a sort of forced scowl, but her eyes shown with relief. 

_Best shadowhunter in New York._

\----o-----------o-------------o--------------o----------------o---------------o------

Fifteen minutes later found Jace in the Ops Center along with Maryse, Lydia, Magnus, Izzy, Max, Simon, Clary, Lucian, and several other Shadowhunters.  He dropped into the chair between Clary and Izzy.  Clary gave him an anxious glance.  Izzy on the other side of him was focused on some conversation with Magnus.

“You ok?” Clary’s insistent voice was the first thing he heard after he settled into his chair, legs crossed, hand already twirling his stele.  He saw Izzy shoot him a frown for that, but she mostly remained engrossed in her conversation with Magnus.  Probably thinking he was going to drop it and break it.

_It wouldn’t be the first time._

“Yeah.  Medic gave me the ok to return to duty.” He felt a mild irritation at the question.  She should know he would do anything for most of the people here, especially for Alec.

“Jace, you were in a wheelchair yesterday.” Clary blatantly pointed out as she scooted her chair closer.

_Yes, I know I was buddies with the chair of shame._

“Well, I got better.” He snapped.  Jace noticed hurt cross her face as she pulled away.

He sighed and dropped his voice to a low whisper. “It’s my angel blood.  Whatever happened to the bond, my blood fixed it just as fast.  I’m fine.”  The last bit he put some extra edge to his voice.

“Ok, well Maryse wants you as lead.” Clary replied a bit stiffly.

_Since Alec isn’t._

“Everyone is here.  Let us get started.”  Maryse’s voice cut across everyone’s conversations, effectively shutting everyone up.  “Good.  Jace, you will be lead on this assignment.  You have always been our best fighter and as the only one who has truly fought Jonathan you understand him a bit better than most.  Max will track them starting at the location Jace discovered them exiting Edom from, Magnus will go with him as both support and protection.”

A low mummer of “Mooom.”  Came from Max’s side of the table, before a sharp look from Maryse quieted him.

“Magnus once the two of you have located them.  You will portal Max home.  Immediately.  Then portal the others to the needed location.  Each of you will be receiving a comm.  These comms only work at short distance due to how most technology interacts with magic.  Magnus has several warlocks setting up a shield around New York to trap both demonic and angelic signatures from crossing.  Izzy, once they have been located you can set up your new Malachi configuration.  Tell the others about it.”

Izzy sat up straighter as all attention veered towards her.  “Magnus and I were able to set it up to hold various signatures both Alec and Jonathan shall remain contained.  It has a one block radius.  The only thing we need to do after that is locate them within that block and keep them still enough for Clary to draw her rune.”

“Isn’t that exactly the same plan as last time?”  Jace interjected.

_Nothing changed._

“Jace, that plan should have worked.  It didn’t because we had gone in assuming Alec was on our side.  We are not letting that happen again.  Which is why your focus will be to capture Alec.  Clary, Simon, and Magnus will focus on capturing Jonathan.  Izzy and the others will be placing the Malachi configuration.  Magnus, I want you to focus on whoever Clary is capturing to ensure the move via her portal rune goes smoothly with no mistakes.”  Whatever heartbreak Maryse was feeling for her eldest, she was covering it well.

“Dismissed.” Maryse barked out.

Jace turned his head towards Max.  Youngest shadowhunter on this mission and the whole thing hinged on his ability to track two people that obviously did not want to be found.

Max’s face was pale, but his eyes were determined.  He hopped up with boyish energy and quickly walked to where Magnus was standing.  “Let’s go get my brother back.” Max said with enough conviction that Jace actually believed he might feel it. 

_Why are you running from us Alec?_

Magnus gave a small smile that did not quite wash away the pain in his eyes that Jace could see from here.  He reached out his arm to Max, the Lightwood ring glinting on his finger, and with a circular wave of his other arm, opened a portal to the nearest location Max needed to travel to begin the tracking.

“Stay safe.” It was Maryse.  Her voice sounded far closer to terrified than Jace was comfortable hearing and he found himself moving with Isabelle to stand near her.  They were still family.  Maryse had her eldest already considered rogue.  Jace doubted she had filed the paperwork to make that official though.  But seeing her eyes widen just slightly as Max vanished with Magnus through the portal.  Jace realized that she did consider Alec a threat even to his own family.

“Jace.” Maryse had control over herself again and was turning to him.

“I know.  I’ll get Alec back.”  Jace promised her.

“It’s not that.  I want you to be careful.  Whatever happened to him in Edom.  There is a very strong possibility he is possessed and we do not know the demon.”  Maryse said.

“If it was just a demon, he would have been able to be tracked.  Easily.”  Snapped Jace turning fully to face her.

She made an abortive motion with her arm, sighed tiredly.  “When he killed two of our own.  Alec was screaming about them not being right.”

_Why was he just learning of this now?_

The videos he had watched with Clary had been blurry and watching Alec kill two people he supposedly knew had caused a sick feeling to form in his stomach.  He had not understood why Alec had attacked. 

“What do you mean “not right”?   Jace asked forcefully.

“We don’t know.  But the two he did attack he blasted with some form of energy into their sides, where your parabati rune is located.”  She took his hands in hers, a gleam of manic hope shining darkly in her eyes.  “I think he was searching for the parabati rune.  For you.”

_She’s a mother.  She would reach for any hope to save her children._

He did not know Alec had been searching for something, had not felt anything from the bond but the constant conflicting warmth and razor ice.  Certainly had not felt any emotions from Alec’s end of the bond since this whole thing started.  But her words gave him an optimistic hope that was dashed in cold reality as soon as it started to form.  Two people had died to show that slight glimpse into Alec’s state of mind.

“You don’t think he’s possessed do you?  That’s just what you need to put down in the file in case the Clave shows up.”  Jace remarked carefully, letting go of Maryse’s hands and crossing his arms over his chest.

Maryse crossed her arms around herself.  “I know my boy is in there somewhere.  Your rune still being intact is proof enough of that.  All of you worked so hard to bring Clary back and you succeeded.  I want my boy back.  He will know you.  The silent brother even said it was intact and not corrupted.”

_He also said there was something seriously wrong._

The following wait for Max or Magnus to call about the location to meet felt like forever.  Jace found that just spinning his stele was not enough, pacing was not enough, and that he had a nervous energy pulsing through him that would not let him sit still for more than a moment.

Clary sat drawing something in her sketchpad, while Izzy went over her Malachi configuration numbers for the 10,000th time banging her head into the table in front of her in her own form of frustrated waiting.  Simon had left to call Raphael regarding the shield going up.  Lucian was somewhere else.  The other shadowhunters in their group sat doing their own thing.  Nobody talked.  He kind of wished Simon was here just to break the silence with some ill-timed comment about a comic.

_Since when do you prefer Simon’s geekiness to Clary’s company?_

“Can I see what you are drawing?” Jace found himself asking, just to break the silence and diminish the awkwardness.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Clary flipped the notebook around and handed it over.  He took it, careful not to bend any pages.  It was a picture of him, standing tall, arms straight out from his sides, his sword held in his right hand, most of his body bare, head thrown back.  Jace was shocked to see it.  For one, it was amazing artwork the detail astounding.  For two, he never realized she saw him as such a warrior.  He felt something warm bloom in his chest.

“It’s amazing.” He said softly.  He turned another page.  It was of him asleep.  As he took it in he realized it was from when he had fallen asleep outside in the courtyard the other day.  He glanced at her to find her blushing a bright red, her face burned brighter when she met his eyes.  He flipped a few other pages to find one of Izzy while she worked fixing a weapon.  Another of Simon laughing.

“Do you have any of Alec?” Jace asked offhandly.

Clary’s lips thinned as she crossed one arm across her body and reached out with the other to retrieve the notebook.  “No, sorry.  He was always so busy being a leader I never had a chance.”

_Didn’t really want a sketched picture anyway._

“Oh.  Well maybe when we get him back.  Draw him for me.”

_Where the hell had that request come from._

“Sure, if you want.  I can.” Clary said with a small smile.

The Ops Center phone rang.  It was Max with a location.  It was close.

_Fucking finally._

They all finished strapping on last minute weapons, casting steles over runes as they gathered by the determined location that Magnus would open a portal for them.  The golden hued portal formed before them and they all stepped through.  Magnus stood on the other side.  A second portal winking out of existence behind him.

_Must have been Max._

Jace clicked his Comm unit on and did a voice check of each person on the team.  He ensured each soldiers comm was working, affirmatives returned from each person.  Simon needed to turn his down a bit, but otherwise everyone was good.  Jace pointed to three of the shadowhunters and Izzy and gave each a signal to travel in groups of two around the perimeter to impale the Malachi Configuration into the ground.  The four activated their speed and stealth runes and took off.  Jace checked that Clary, Simon, and Magnus were behind him and began the trek towards the center of the block.  He pushed open the glass door to the building in front of them and doing a quick scan for danger before signaling the others inside.

_Time to go be bait._

He leapt over the security desk on the first floor, ignoring the mundane that sat idly sipping coffee and oblivious to their presence.  The guy glanced up once but otherwise did not notice anything amiss.  Simon had already used his vampire speed to zoom past the guards line of sight and was waiting for them around the corner.

_“Jace, can you hear me?”_

Jace reached up his hand to the comm in his ear.  He disliked how garbled her voice already sounded after only a few feet into the building Jonathan held Alec, made a note of it in his head that they may need to rely on Magnus to inform them when the Malachi configuration was activated.

Activating the comm.  “Affirmative.” Jace replied.

_“Points 1 and 2 have been placed, 3 and 4 on the way.”_ Izzy’s quickly fading and crackled voice streamed through his ear.

Jace motioned Magnus to him.  The warlock was dressed in some ridiculously sparkly outfit, sewn with dragons in gold and red.  He moved with a relaxed ease that belied just how much power lay within him.

“Going to need you to tell us when the Malachi configuration goes up.” Jace informed him.

Magnus just nodded, eyes flashing gold.  Maybe more ready for this to be over than Jace was.  With Jace in the lead they started scouting through the building, one room at a time.

“Magnus, you sense anything?”  Jace asked after they cleared the first floor.

“Basement.”  Magnus replied.

“Awesome, let’s go.” Jace said.

They found the nearest set of stairs and headed down.

Jace pulled his seraph blade out and let it light up.  The soft angelic light casting a soft glow over the lower portion of his face and giving him some light into the gloom of the basement.

“I smell blood.” Simon warned hovering close to Clary.

Jace’s ear split open on a crackle.  He batted at his ear, but the screeching had already stopped.

_Ow._

“Malachi is up.” Magnus said a moment later.

_I figured.  Thanks for the confirmation._

When they rounded the next corner Jace was unprepared for what met them.  Jonathan Morgenstern stood crouched before them in the dark holding a Seelie blade, his flesh was torn in several places, one spot near his neck Jace knew used to hold an angelic rune.  Jace could see the blade shiver in his grasp.

“Clary!? Clary you there?” Jonathan’s first words sounded pleading and desperate. “Clary you have to help.  I don’t know how to stop it anymore.”

“Yeah I’m here.” Clary responded moving towards her demonic brother carefully, blade out and ready.

The red haired man took a step towards where Clary’s voice had come from and Jace raised his blade higher.

Some instinct told him to move, so he did, spinning to his right, blade slashing out towards the attack, only to feel an arrow wiz by where he had been standing a second ago.  Jace nearly dropped his sword when he realized the attacker was Alec.

_Ambush.  Split them up._

“Clary, do your thing.” Jace ordered.  He turned away from Alec and burst into a sprint away from Jonathan, praying that Alec would follow.  He felt more than heard the low snarl.

_Duck._

Jace dropped into a roll, two more arrows flew over his head.  He popped up and threw himself around a corner, out of line of sight from the deadly objects, back pressed to the wall, blade in hand, waiting for Alec to approach.  Instinct telling him Alec would follow him.

_Come on._

_Above._

Jace threw himself to the side as Alec dropped from the pipes above him, a silver blade flashing towards his side.  Jace brought his own blade up to clash, felt the reverberation through his shoulders when they hit.

This close he finally got a decent look at his parabati.  Black hair matted, face twisted in a feral snarl, brown eyes unfocused with something shining there that Jace did not have time to identify before Alec was twisting his blade down, forcing Jace’s to go with it.

“Alec!  It’s me!  It’s Jace!” Shouted Jace desperately at Alec, bringing a foot up and using the wall behind him as leverage to push Alec off and away from him.

“You left me.” Snarled Alec.

“I didn’t leave you!”  Jace shouted at him confused about the statement.  Alec swung the blade forcing Jace to bend his knees deeply and avoid the attack.  Jace sprang back up with enough force to slam his sword into Alec’s and cause the other to stagger backward a step.  Jace took advantage of it and swung up and across again aiming for Alec’s arm to incapacitate.  Alec deflected each blow.

_Clary hurry the hell up._

The next attack from Alec nearly cost Jace his head as Alec reached up grabbed an arrow and aimed it and his blade at Jace’s chest slashing both across at the same time.  Jace found himself dancing around Alec in a circle to avoid getting cornered by the wall.

“We’re on the same side! Damnit!” Jace hollered.

_What is wrong with you?_

Alec’s eyes lit with something, but his whole body had paused and tensed.  Jace took full advantage of it.  Threw his body towards the ground, dropped his seraph blade, lunged the short distance to Alec, grabbing his ankles and yanked him off his feet with all his might, keeping his eyes on the weapon in Alec’s right hand.  Alec crashed to the floor with a strangled shout.  Jace did not give him a chance to move, crawled, kicked, and pulled his way up Alec’s back which was slippery and wet with some dark substance.  Jace used his own body weight to keep Alec pinned to the basement floor.  Alec tried to stab him with his right arm holding the Seelie blade.  Jace latched onto the flailing arm with both hands, lifted up the offending arm and slammed it down with enough force he could hear a crack.

Alec merely grunted in pain.  Jace slammed the arm down again.  Alec let out a shout of anguish as the bones in his wrist were stressed, nearly breaking.  Alec slammed his head back and up into Jace’s face giving him enough leverage to roll his hips and flip the two of them over.  Jace wrapped his legs around Alec’s waist in a grapple move trying to gain the upper hand again.  He missed seeing Alec pull his fist back before it slammed into his face, snapping his head to the side making the edges of his vision turn a dangerous black.

_Didn’t check that blow._

“Alec look at me!” Jace shouted.  Head still swimming, Jace struggled to catch Alec’s eyes.

Alec’s left hand came up to close around Jace’s throat, tightening dangerously.

Jace growled.

_Want to play rough.  I’ll win._

Jace curled his body up, hips pushing against Alec, inched his legs up Alec’s back until he could wrap them around his throat.  Alec knew this grapple.  As soon as Jace got his legs around his neck, Alec surged upwards, standing to his full height, bringing Jace completely off the ground.

_Oh fuck._

Jace felt gravity take over as he was slammed back into the ground, head bouncing against the concrete, the blackness nearly took him under.  Jace rolled over onto his hands and knees panting and gasping for air, with a thought he activated his strength and stamina runes to keep himself conscious, golden light seeped from the two runes.

Alec stood swaying nearby gasping just as hard.

“Got to make this hard don’t you?  Just come back home and we can fix…” Jace started but was cut off when Alec’s leg connected with his side, throwing him up in the air to land a few feet away.  His back and ribs felt like they were on fire.  Groaning Jace rolled with it, staggering to his feet.

“You know nothing of what I want to fix.” Alec growled lowly, approaching him like a predator.

_Oh, I think I have a good idea._

The rune at his side felt like it might be bleeding again and was sending off anguished waves of pain.  Each wave felt hotter than the last.  Something hot slithered through his skin.

“Alec.  Stop!  Just Stop!” Jace snapped.

_Where the fuck were the others._

Alec did not stop.  Instead he picked up the fallen Seelie blade and slashed across Jace’s chest.  Fresh blood splattered across the floor, Jace felt the sticky wetness quickly coat his chest and soak his shirt.  Now that pissed him off.  He punched Alec across the face with a backhand, quickly followed by a straight punch to the face.

_Why.  Won’t.  You.  Stop._

On each word in his head Jace hit Alec again, until the other was staggering under the onslaught.  Jace maneuvered him back into the wall, pinning him there with his hips, breath coming in sharp pants against Alec’s face.

Alec shuddered under the weight, the feral snarl dropped from his face.  Fight finally gone.

_Well he stopped._

Jace was not quite sure how to proceed from here.  But he sure as hell was not moving away from Alec either.  Rune cooling at his side.  Jace shifted his stance to press a little harder against Alec to ensure he did not escape, bringing his arms to firmly plant them on either side of Alec trapping him in.  He could feel Alec’s muscles bunching as if to run.

“Don’t run.” Jace ordered.  Alec’s whole body tensed, shuddered, and locked up again.

If this odd stance of bodies pressed together is what it took to get him back, well he had enough of throwing his reputation out the window the last couple days anyway that he did not really care what it looked like to the others when they showed up to portal them.

Hot breath ghosted across Jace’s face, firing off an awareness of their positions.

“Going to tell me what happened in Edom?” Jace questioned to keep his focus.

“No.” Alec growled, head turning to the side.

“It involves both of us.”  Jace stated.

Alec’s eyes snapped to Jace’s.  Brown met the heterochromia of blue and brown.  A small twist in Alec’s lips, almost a frown, eyes searching Jace’s for something, his gaze dropped briefly before snapping back up.  Jace felt the rune on his side start to heat slowly, small embers of flame entering his bloodstream.

“You weren’t there.”  Alec said.

_I know._

Jace let his hand slide down Alec’s right arm, telling himself he was not searching for something.  His chest tightened as he made out lines of black running down Alec’s arm.

Alec remained locked in place, breath coming in short gasps, trembling.

“Jace…”

“You never run from a fight.  You’ve never run from me.”  Jace did not even try to hide the hurt he felt, saying it made the pain in his chest surge.  The slow burn emitting from his rune kept increasing his awareness of just how tightly locked they stood.

“You’ll never understand.” Alec hissed at him.

“Try me.”  Jace challenged locking their gazes.

Alec stared into his eyes.  Dark brown, sparking with some decision, before he tilted his head and slammed into Jace in a reckless, angry kiss.

Heat poured through his veins ratcheting higher each time Alec moved his lips against his again.  Biting, nipping, and demanding something only Jace could give him.

_That wasn’t the plan._

His body did not seem to get the message that his rational self was telling it and his mind stopped working altogether when Alec had slid his hand behind his neck holding him in place.  Instead he caved to it, found himself responding to it, meeting Alec’s kisses with a fever he was unaware was there until now.  This wet, hot heat consumed him, burned him up and demanded he get closer to Alec.  Jace was certainly not moving away, but Alec seemed to think he would as he grasped Jace’s jacket, twisted it and attempted to pull him closer.  Not that there was much room left between the two of them.  Jace felt the wild heat start to build in his spine, crawling into his groin and up his back, he shoved a leg between Alec’s, heard a groan come from the dark haired man only making him want more.

_Fuck._

_“Jace, what’s your location?  We have Jonathan secured.”_

Clary’s voice screeched with static across the comm in his ear.  The bucket of cold, hard reality crashed through his ear and hit his over fevered brain.  He broke the heated kiss and froze staring at Alec.  His eyes dark, lips red from the attack, hair mussed.  Breathe coming in deep sharp pants.  Alec inclined his head towards him again and Jace responded by grasping Alec’s wrists and pinned them above his head.  Alec gave a low groan that sent heat right to his gut.

_What the fuck just happened?_

Because Jace was not about to compromise this mission over whatever the hell that had just been.  Securing Alec’s wrists in one hand, he reached to his comm, while casting a quick glance around the basement searching for something to tell Clary.  Because, fuck, he had not been paying attention the entire fight.

_Novice mistake._

Spotting a door with a number on it he clicked the comm on.  “Near room B116.  I’ve got Alec.  You might want to hurry.”  He responded hoarsely.

Jace felt dreadfully uncertain he would not attack Alec’s lips again.  If the others came in to find the two of them like that, Jace did not even want to think about the fallout.  Clary would never speak to him again and they were already in a rough patch.  Magnus.  Well, Magnus would probably obliterate him within a magical inferno.

The roaring fire, settled to a slow pulse and burn deep in his parabati rune.

“Going to turn me into the Clave?”  Alec sounded more defeated than angry.

“No, I’m taking you home. We’ll figure the rest out later.” Jace told him not letting go of Alec’s wrists.

_Except that kiss.  Not going to mention that mind altering kiss ever again._

“Found them!  Keep going the direction you are going and take the first door marked B100.”  Simon’s joyful voice echoed doubly as loud considering he was both in the room with them now and it was echoing through his comm secured painfully in his ear.  Jace ripped the offensive thing out before he could rupture an eardrum.  Simon approached them and Jace watched as a complicated set of emotions crossed his face, before settling on amusement.  It took a second for Jace to realize he still had Alec pinned to the wall with his hips, holding his arms over his head with one arm.

“So are you two going to shag now or should I leave and come back later?”  Simon joked.

Jace felt Alec tense as if to attack and Jace quickly brought up the pair of magical handcuffs that were originally intended for Jonathan and snapped them around Alec’s wrists.

Alec’s whole body sagged suddenly, breath gusting out of him.

Jace had to scramble a bit just to keep him from hitting the floor.  His arm and chest paining him as his body took all of Alec’s dead weight and held him up.

“Is he alright?” Simon asked.

“No, dipshit.  He just collapsed for no reason.” Jace glowered at the vampire and lowered Alec to a seated position on the floor.  Alec leaned his body into him and nuzzled into his side.  Jace heard Simon laugh at the action.

“Dude, I think he’s drugged.  Alec is not cuddly.” Simon’s eyes laughed at Jace’s apparent awkwardness with the whole situation.

Jace instead tried to ignore the spike of heat and pleasure that had shot through his side when Alec had nuzzled into him.

“Least he didn’t kill anyone.  Maryse was right.  He recognized me.”  Jace acknowledged resting a hand on Alec’s shoulder.

Magnus and Clary rounded the corner each appearing like they had run the whole way.

“Alexander.  Oh thank God you are safe.”  Magnus rushed towards Alec to check his lover over.  Alec took one look at Magnus, face twisted into a snarl, eyes going from brown to pitch black in a heartbeat and lunged past Jace towards the warlock.  Using his recently handcuffed arms to cut the warlock’s breath off and slammed him into the ground with a roar.

_What the hell._

Magnus was everything to Alec.  He would not attack him.  Only clearly he just had.  Magnus appeared just as shocked but was quick to recover.  Blue magic wrapped around Alec to physically lift him off, while Jace grabbed Alec’s shoulders from behind to wrench him off the gold-eyed warlock.  Alec let out an inhuman howl at this, reaching for Magnus.  Jace could see the magical shackles lighting up with red sparks of magic.

_Magic.  Shadowhunters don’t have magic._

“Clary.  Now.  Send me with him.” Jace called out the order, eyeing those glowing shackles as they began to grow brighter and brighter.

They were running out of time if those glowing shackles said anything.

“No.  I’m not sending you to a cell like that.” Clary snapped angrily.

Jace growled still struggling to hold onto a kicking and howling Alec.  His rune lit up in an angry painful inferno.

_I don’t have time to argue._

Jace looked over at Clary eyes glowing golden concentrating to let his angelic power activate every rune.  He gave the red head a tight nod to let her know he would let go when she drew the rune.  Clary drew the gold rune in the air.  Jace watched it carefully, the short seconds drawing down into an agonizing moment as Jace prepared to shove Alec towards the rune and get himself the hell out of the way.  He did not want to know what happened to a person’s body if they only had half their body clipped by a portal rune.  He coiled his body ready for the call.

“Jace now!”

At her shout Jace shoved Alec forward with all the might his strength rune gave him, pushed with his legs to hurl himself to the side, felt Magnus’s magic wrapping around his torso pulling him away from the incoming portal rune even faster.

As he watched that bright rune collapse close, carrying Alec to the Institutes holding cells Jace felt a pressure ease off.  He had him.  He was safe.  He could talk to him.

_Don’t think about the kiss._

“Well, that was easy.”  Magnus said dusting off his expensive jacket.

“Yeah, cause a horde of demons was easy.” Grinned Simon, he was covered in several cuts but nothing serious.  “But you were so badass.  It was like watching a real life Harry Potter or Doctor Strange when he waves his arms about.  But you are way cooler.”

“You ok?” Clary’s concern something Jace did not need to deal with right now.

Jace picked up the Comm he had dropped earlier, stuck it in his ear.  “Izzy?” He asked into the comm.

Nothing.

_Stupid short range._

“Come on.  Let’s go outside get the others and send a cleanup crew.”  Jace ordered the group.

They gathered up the others, no major injuries, and headed home.  The trek home felt far too short and too long.  Jace had no idea how to approach Alec now.  What could he even say?  The bond was hurting.  And whatever had happened Alec did not appear remotely close to talking to him.  And that kiss, what the hell had that been about.  Last week Alec was ready to marry Magnus.  Jace glanced at Magnus out of the corner of his eye as they walked home, guilt traveled in slow spirals through his gut alongside the strange heat the kiss had rammed into his body.

“You ok?”  Clary asked again dropping back to walk beside him.

_No._

“Yeah.  We have Jonathan.  We have Alec back.  We’ll sort everything out.”  Jace told her absently.

_So why does it feel like I lost._

**\------o-------o--------o-----------o-------------o--------------o-----------o------------**

“Jace!”

Alec yelled as he hit the floor on the other side of the rune.  Scrambling to his feet, his head whipped from side to side searching the cell.

“Still alive.”  Jonathan’s deep, slow voice sounded from across the room.

Alec groaned in relief.  Ever since the explosion of Edom they had been relying on each other for sanities sake.  Looking around he realized they were in the Institutes underground cells which meant they were considered a threat, dangerous enough to quarantine without bringing them in to be processed.

_Jonathan will be considered the threat.  Not me, I can use that._

“Clary is coming here.  She’s going to talk to me.  She’s going to kill me.” Jonathan informed him, but Alec could detect the faint tremble of fear.

Alec crawled over and sat down beside Jonathan, leaning back against the cell wall with him, still panting from the collision with Jace.  “Clary loves you.”  He gasped out.

_She’ll murder you._

“No she doesn’t.  Every step I take to try and get closer she pushes me away.  Even with the twinning rune she wanted to be rid of me!”  Jonathan snarled, eyes flashing dangerously but he did not move from his spot.

Alec closed his eyes.  There had to be a way out of this.

“I don’t know much about Clary.  But Jace loves her and she wants you to be her brother.  Edom’s souls changed you.  Use that.  She’ll want to believe you.  She wants a family.”  Alec informed him as the insanity drew back, leaving behind the rush of cold.

“Changed you too.” Jonathan said nudging his shoulder.

Alec rubbed at his parabati rune at that.  Stupid thing had been painfully cold since Jonathan had dragged him from the stream of souls blasting through to Heaven.  Jace appeared perfectly fine when they had clashed, although he was a little hazy in parts of that exchange.  The entire day since he had left Edom had been hazy if he was honest with himself.  Sections crossed and blurred together until he could not tell which was real and which was dream.

Jonathan reached over suddenly and dug his nails into Alec’s arm, literally clawed a rune into his skin.

Sharp pain exploded in his arm as the nails dug deep, Alec yanked his arm away only for Jonathan to follow still digging and drawing, blood seeped up from the wound.

Jonathan released him just as suddenly as he had attacked.  Sitting back down against the wall casually after the violence he had just exhibited.

Warmth spread through Alec’s system, clearing his head a bit further.  Etched into his skin was a new angelic rune, diamond shape rounded on one side, crisscrossed on the other with prongs sticking out.

“Your precious angel rune isn’t going to hold it back forever.  The fact I’m drawing it now, not you, is telling.  So is the fever and the tremors.  What would your precious parabati say if he knew what you are now?” There was a taunt in there somewhere, a slow drawl as Jonathan enjoyed the moment.

“Think you need your head looked at.  Jace will check here once.  Then Clary will drag him off on some new stupid deadly adventure.” Alec’s head felt completely clear again and the muddled thoughts faded.  Maybe Magnus would know of a way to fix this.  The warlock should be grateful he was no longer locked in Edom due to Alec’s sacrifice.

_Because that plan went so well._

“Maybe she’ll see that I have humanity left in me.” Jonathan stated hopefully, kicking his feet out in front of himself now that Alec had the new rune applied.

_Yeah. I don’t._

“Clary said she would kill you.”  Alec said coldly.

“Clary isn’t like my father.  Clary isn’t like my mother.  She still cares about me.”  Jonathan snarled his vicious voice echoed in the cell.

Alec did not know what to make of that.  Demonic rage and destructive Jonathan he understood how to deal with.  This new caring and hurt Jonathan kept throwing him off.  He knew he needed to keep reapplying the angelic rune every hour but had apparently forgotten.  Instead Jonathan had applied it.  Looking down at his arm he saw three other angelic runes carved into his arms from Jonathan’s nails.

_Missed a few other hours in there._

“Sorry, I just.  It’s a lot to deal with.  I got you out because I saw some good in you.  That same good Clary always hoped to be there under it all.  I just….I don’t know what to do…”  Alec told him.

Jonathan knocked his head back against the wall.  “Yeah, well my plan backfired spectacularly when you lost it.”  Jonathan rolled his head to look over at Alec.

“I didn’t lose it.” Growled Alec, dark eyes narrowing.

“You lost most of your soul.  You expect to just move on from that?  Your warlock boyfriend should be able to tell you just how long you have until what you do have in that body winks out or is corrupted by Lilith’s remnants.  I wanted to stick you in the nearest hellish realm and get as far from you as possible before it exploded.”

_That’s a nice mental image._

Alec shuddered. “Then why haven’t you?”

Jonathan gave him a long look.  “Because when I lived in this Institute as Sebastian.  You all showed me the value of emotions and power.  Not being a demon anymore, apparently logic goes out the window.”

_You had logic?_

“That didn’t answer the question.”  Alec said flatly.

Jonathan turned to face Alec more fully. “You reminded me of me.  A shadowhunter forced into being something they never should have been.  I’ve been given a second chance, so should you.”

Something uncomfortable lodged in his chest.  He was not like Jonathan.  He was a respected shadowhunter, leader of the New York Institute, he had people counting on him.

_I got this.  It’s just about control._

“Jonathan, you caught a glimpse into life here at the Institute, you saw how the others fought for each other.  Clary will fight for you with everything she has.”  Alec felt a wave of cold wash over him, rune at his side burning icily and he scratched at it in annoyance.  “Then she’ll kill you.”

“Defiantly getting worse.  Can’t wait for this lovely conversation when your friends arrive.” Jonathan reached over and dug his nails in, retracing the angelic rune without another comment.

\------o-------o---------------o-----------------o---------------o---------------

_Ding!_

The doors to the lowest level in the Institute slid open at an agonizing slow place to Jace.  He shoved his way through them before they were fully open and sprinted down the grey halls to the cells he knew would hold Alec and Jonathan.  Heard the others trailing behind him at a slower pace.  He needed to ensure Alec was physically there.  Jace nearly collided his face into the glass wall when he reached it searching the cell frantically.  His eyes landed on Alec and Jonathan who were seated beside each other on the far side.

Jonathan had his legs kicked out in front of himself casually wiping his hand against his pant leg.  Alec was digging his nails into his right arm until Jonathan leaned over to whisper something in his ear.  Alec’s head snapped up that dark gaze slammed into Jace’s.  His breath caught.  He’s safe.  The reality of the picture before him hit a second later when he realized Alec was mutilating his own skin.

_Fuck.  What is wrong with him?_

Magnus, Clary, Simon, and Maryse arrived shortly after.  Maryse placed her hand to the glass as if she could touch her son.  Jace reached over and hit the comm.

“Alec.  Jonathan.  You both have been captured and quarantined until this Institute had determined your health and sentencing.” Jace announced, shooting a look at Maryse whom now seemed incapable of beginning the questioning of her own son.

“I want to talk to Clary only.”  Jonathan’s first request was met with a hard stare from Jace.

“She’ll talk to you when she’s ready and with me present at all times.” Claimed Jace crossing his arms in a dominant stance glaring at Jonathan.

Jace could not help it his eyes slid over to Alec’s form, searching his body for signs of distress.  In the bright light of the cell he hated what he saw.  Alec’s body was covered in the angelic rune over and over and over again particularly on his right arm.  There were a couple demonic runes he could see across his chest, a strange goop like blood coated his entire body.  Clary was right about him looking half naked.  Jace had not really focused on the clothing during the fight he and Alec had earlier but he did remember the feeling of hot bare skin pressed against his body.

“So, why are they in the same cell?”  Simon stated the obvious.

_Kind of wondered that myself._

“It’s hard to aim that rune and this cell I understood the location of best.”  Clary admitted.

Alec stood.  “Jace, let me out.”  He demanded.  Jace could not look away from that dark gaze, watched as Alec drew closer to the glass pane, saw Alec’s jaw tighten when he stopped in front of Jace, lifting up a hand to press it against the glass.  “Let me out.  I won’t hurt anyone.”

_Like those two shadowhunters._

Jace shook his head slightly.  “Can’t do that parabati.  You and Jonathan here get to explain exactly what happened in Edom.  Now.”

Alec’s gaze flickered across Jace’s face, he licked his lower lip before it turned into a snarl.  “I’m part of this Institute!  I got Magnus out of Edom!  Everything is fine!”

_Really not acting like Alec._

“Look at his arm.  Alec have you been drawing the runes on yourself?”  Magnus spoke as he drew gracefully forward until he stood beside Jace.

The comment drew Jace’s gaze back to the tattered arm.  Coated in blood and covered in clawed angelic runes, two bleeding as he looked at them.  He did not use a stele, they should not even work.

“Why do you need so many runes?”  Clary asked.

“How about we start from the beginning.” stated Magnus bringing his hand up to touch the glass pane.

Alec’s gaze finally broke from Jace’s to travel toward Magnus.  “That’s easy.  You didn’t tell me where the souls to Edom were located.  I got help.”  Alec waved an arm towards Jonathan, paused as he stalked towards Magnus’s side of the glass.  “Our enemy has helped us destroy Edom, taken out Lilith and Asmodeus.  And you want to lock us up for it?”  Alec’s voice grew darker.  “Or are we just here until the Clave comes to kill us?”

“No one is killing anybody!” Maryse ordered.

Jace glanced at Jonathan and Clary whom Jace figured would be the two volatile ones in this situation.  Hell, he wanted to snap and rage too.  Felt a need to scream at Alec until the other man saw sense.

“What did it cost?”  Magnus’s softly spoken question to Alec had Jace snapping his gaze to Alec.

Alec had a strange look on his face, he smiled towards Magnus.  Something in that smile had Jace on high alert, hand falling to his seraph blade.

“You are wasting your time.  There is nothing wrong.  Edom is destroyed.  Jonathan is cured.  All you have to do is release us.” Alec eerily stated.

“What do you mean Jonathan is cured?” Clary’s insistent hopeful voice leapt on one single statement.  She immediately moved towards Jonathan to look at him better.  Her arms wrapped around her waist hugging herself.  “How can we tell?” She asked glancing at Jace.

_Not trusting this bullshit._

Jace kept his gaze on Alec.  He was the one who stated this supposed cure.  Felt his jaw clench tight when Alec met his gaze.  His rune pulsed again.  He ignored it.

“We can send samples of their blood down to the lab, search for demonic taint and infection.”  Izzy logically mentioned, her gaze on her brother as well.

Alec looked like he could use about ten doses of anti-venom and some work from a silent brother.

“That won’t show what is wrong with Alexander.”  Magnus’s voice flowed easily, but there was a tension in his face that was hard to miss.  “Alexander.  I’m a warlock.  Part of my job is to understand souls.  Yours isn’t fully there.  What’s left is how you are alive, how you are functioning as you are I do not know.  But there are ways to fix you.”

_That night his parabati rune had bled…_

Alec angled his gaze towards the warlock, something icy in that gaze.  “You don’t know what you are talking about.”

“I know souls.  I know yours and it isn’t there.” Magnus sadly told him.

_The warm feeling, slicing into ice.  That was the end of a soul…_

“We need a silent brother and need to keep this quiet.  The Clave can never know about this and make sure no one else knows.”  Jace kept his voice even.  Inside he felt cold dread.  Alec had his soul ripped in half, the bond was supposed to be two souls interlocked into one.  One soul.

_The heat from that kiss._

_“You weren’t there…”_

“I know one that may help.”  Magnus informed them and began slowly waving his arms up and down attempting to scan Alec with his magic.  Alec’s handcuffed arms shook under the strain attempting to help or escape.  Blue magic wrapped around his body, handcuffs slowly turning a brighter and brighter red.

“I’ll obtain the blood samples from both.”  Izzy tried to sound calm and failed, as she watched her brother on the other side of the glass.

Jace could not really fault her the emotion.

“I’ll get the blood samples.”  Jace announced as tension bled into his shoulders, an urge to get near Alec was corrupting this decision.  He needed to do this.  Lurking somewhere under his skin the pulsing heat had picked up.

_Obtain the blood samples, get the diagnostic report, and fix Alec._

Jonathan walked calmly over to Alec grabbed his arm, ignoring Magnus’s magic entirely.  Before Jace could take a breath, Jonathan slammed his nails into Alec’s arm carving out the angelic rune.  Alec barely flinched.  It appeared identical to the others scrawled across his arm.

“Get away from him!” snarled Jace slamming his fist into the glass.

“Ah. Uh.  We wouldn’t want him to kill you.  Bet he wouldn’t like that when he gained rationality.”  Jonathan called, green eyes clocking the movements of Jace and Clary.  Clary stood horrified at the violence.  Magnus cut his magical diagnostic off.

“Jace.  I don’t want you to go in there.  Send the needles in through the food port and have them take the samples.  Send them back through.  It’s simple.”  Pleaded Clary.

“No.  I’m getting Alec’s myself.”

\--------o------o------------o---------o-------------o------------------o-----------------

Alec monitored Jace’s movements as they got everything ready for the simple blood samples.  Watched as the blond paced, touched his side once or twice and twirled his stele while they waited for Izzy to bring the needles.  Izzy showed up and he acknowledged her presence with a nod.  Otherwise, he felt numb.  Eyes still tracking Jace through the glass.

“Alright.  I want Alec to come over to the door first.  Jonathan you wait on the far side of the room.  Clary go activate the center shield.”  Jace commanded taking the first needle over to the double set of doors and stepping through.

Alec heard them hiss close.  Jace directly on the other side.  The compulsion to grab Jace and drag him in was growing.  There was a thirst for something he was trying hard to ignore.  He’d already given in to it once.

_He kissed you back._

If he wanted to get out of this cell.  He needed to act normal, healthy.

“Alec, I need you to put your arm through the food port.  I’ll take the blood sample then.”  Jace called through the door, voice slightly muffled.

“Acknowledged.”  The urge was growing, a heat blooming in his side finally easing the cold ache.  The port slid open, Alec stuck his unblemished arm through, felt Jace’s hand slide up his arm from his wrist to his elbow.  Goosebumps broke out on his skin, heat flared through him.  Jace’s hand wrapped gently around his elbow holding him in place.  Felt the quick brush of the alcohol wipe, followed by the prick of the needle.  Jace’s hand slide back down his arm, every nerve ending on fire from the simple casual touch.

“Got it.”  Jace’s voice sounded hoarse.  He heard him clear his throat once before continuing.  “You can go back to the other side.  Jonathan’s turn now.”

Ice spread back through his side as he got up to walk away, the heat that had eased the pain fading the further he walked away.  By the time Alec reached the other side of the room anger and frustration were burning low in his gut.

_Control it._

He wanted to punch the wall, settled for glaring at it until Jace had finished with Jonathan, continued to glare at it as the small party left him and Jonathan in the warded cell together.

“How the mighty have fallen.”  Jonathan told him as he settled down in front of Alec.  “Clary will get me out of here now.”  He nodded to himself, eyes locked on the door that had closed behind the team.

Alec curled in on himself, shifting away from Jonathan.

He knew where his soul was.


	2. Dark Stained Soul Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter. I kinda didn't know when to break it apart. Alec gets out of the cell. Missions and the parabati rune bring Jace and Alec together.

**Dark Stained Soul**

**By Evey**

**Chapter Two**

 

_Whiiiiirrr._

The sound of the centrifuge sounded quietly in the laboratory.  Everything was metal and sterile, several counters along the outside of the room with several worktables in the center.  Jace stared up at the blank ceiling and spun his stele in his hands while waiting for the whirring machine to finish its spinning task.  Blond hair still wet from the shower he took to clean the mission and blood off his skin, fresh bandages across his muscled chest from the wound Alec had given him.  He had deemed the Iratze pointless since he would be healing within the safety of the Institute.  Mind unable to focus further than Izzy’s lab.  Wondering just what Izzy was about to find in Alec’s blood. 

_“I’m afraid of what I might find.”_

That had been her reasoning to Jace when she selected Jonathan’s blood first to test.  Avoidance.

_Face your damn fear Izzy._

She had already completed Jonathan’s tests.  Had not revealed to him what she found, just that she needed to talk to Clary about it first.  When she had asked Jace to give Clary’s phone a call Jace had balked and said no.  Deferring Izzy to call Clary, leaving her a voicemail to come to the lab when she got a chance.  Jace had not explained why he did not want to call Clary and Izzy had not pushed.

He spun his stele, the weapon used to activate the angelic runes on a Shadowhunters body, through his fingers in a complicated twist, bringing it back around and flipping it to his other hand to continue.

“Would you stop doing that!?” exclaimed Izzy, snapping her dark head up to glare in Jace’s direction, her pen stopping its writing.  Jace fumbled, dropping the stele where it hit the ground with a loud snap.  Two pieces skittering across the laboratory floor in opposite directions.

Jace gave her a sheepish smile, shoving his hands behind his blond head in the hopes she did not notice the broken stele on the floor.

“Pick.  It.  Up.”  She growled while pulling her own black hair back into a ponytail away from her face.

“Iz.” He started to placate her, saw her dark eyes narrow further in his direction.  “Fine.  But that thing needs to hurry up.”  He bent to pick up the two pieces off the floor.

“That thing is a centrifuge.  And these things take time.  I’m not messing this up Jace.  Alec needs us.”

_Bloodwork isn’t going to fix this._

Still he held an inkling of hope that it could be fixed with a wave of magic and a dose of medicine.  Because Jace had no idea how to fix a broken soul.

“I was hoping Magnus could use his warlock magic to heal Alec.  His knowledge of healing spells must be extensive.” Izzy unknowingly spoke Jace’s thoughts.  “Maybe Alec could use his parabati around as well.  Your bond must have some magic tied to this.”

_Nope.  Not answering that._

“Where did Magnus run and hide?”  Jace dodged the invitation to delve into that, walking across the room to the bin for broken steles, tossed the two stele pieces into the pile of other weapons to be repaired.  Izzy raised her dark eyebrow in his direction.

“Magnus, left to perform some research on damaged souls and how to extract magic from a body safely.”

“Yeah.  Right.  So he can wave his hands and throw some blue sparkles at the problem.  That’s not going to fix Alec.” He muttered more to himself, but Izzy still heard him.

“I sense some unresolved tension here.  Jace, you know Magnus would have done anything in his power to save Alec.”

“But he didn’t!”  Jace punched the bucket of broken weapons across the counter, watched it careen off into the floor where it crashed, spilling most of its contents across the floor.  He ignored the mess, stepping over it towards Izzy.  “He lost him!  He said it himself.  And now I can’t feel anything from him.”  He knew he was close to crying, reared back away from her to stop any tears from spilling, eyes wide.

“But you know he is still in there.”  She pointed to his hip, where the parabati rune was hidden under his shirt.  Her large eyes shown with understanding.  “Whatever happened you two are strong enough to have survived it, together.  Alec is infected, we can visibly see that.  But he is a fighter, he always has been.  You can throw him in a room filled with Shax demons and he would take them all down.  You know he is stronger than this.  He was always the more stable and rational one between the three of us.  If anyone can pull through an Edomic infection it is him.”

Jace shook his head.  He had felt a small piece of what Alec had gone through.  His rune still ached just standing in the room and he had been fighting an urge to go back down to Alec’s cell and sleep outside the glass since they had finished their meeting two hours ago.

_Stupid idea._

“Izzy.  I stood right in front of him.  I touched him.  I couldn’t sense anything he was feeling.  I don’t know his state of mind and its fucking with my head.” He admitted, brow furrowed trying to think.  No one but Alec’s sister would come close to understanding what he meant by this.

_Except that low pulse and burn._

That thought brought back the kiss.  That kiss was screwing with his head more than it should have.  He shoved the memory to the back of his head where it needed to stay.  It kept coming back.

Izzy wrapped her arms around him. “When you were on the boat with Valentine.  Alec said he couldn’t feel you either.  Maybe this is similar, just a block because of the injury from Edom.”

_I didn’t want him to find me back then._

“Izzy, it is not a block.”

“All the more reason to discover what went wrong in Edom.  Alec informed us he was alright, maybe he is.  I counted 28 angelic runes on his body and that was without doing a full body scan.  Those runes had to have done something for him.  Also, they are males, you get body scan duty.”

Jace shot her a look full of loathing at the last part.  It was technically standard procedure, but everyone hated it.  He also could not shake the feeling that Alec had lied to them about something, maybe all of it.

_Ding!_

The centrifuge started to slow and stop.  Izzy broke away to go start the needed tests.

“Go get some food and bring me back some too.  I’ve had something to focus on keeping my mind off Alec.  You haven’t.  Go play piano or talk to Clary.” She suggested while pulling the vial out and beginning to prep the slides. 

Jace knew she was right.  He had been hovering in her lab.  Hiding, since their meeting had broken up.  Mostly, with nothing to do but wait.  He sighed out a grumbled “Fine.” Before turning to do as she suggested.

“And don’t forget to pick up this mess!” She hollered.

Jace grumbled but returned to pick up the mess he had made of her floor.  Once finished he headed out in search of the piano.

_Not avoiding Clary.  Yeah keep telling yourself that and one day you’ll believe it._

o – o- o- o – o

 

The first note ringing out from the large black piano brought the same mixture of grief, pain, joy and love it always did.  He pushed past like he always did and began to play Chopin.  Nocturne Opus was one of his favorites.

_Play it right, you make a mistake I break a finger._

Jace let the past memory drift away before it sunk its nails in.  Let his hands glide across the keys picking up pace and slowing at various parts of the song.  Losing himself in the music.  Letting the tension drain from his body, allowed his mind to drift and let his eyes fall half closed relying on muscle memory to continue the song.  His fingers went right into another from Chopin, then Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, back to Chopin’s Nocturne Opus.  Always completing the entirety of composition before moving onto the next.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you play.”

Jace jumped slightly at Clary’s soft voice from the doorway.  He did not want to deal with her right now.  He had searched out the piano and its voice strictly to avoid her voice.  It brought guilty thoughts full of heat back to the surface.  With the guilt came the sorrow of the past couple days the music had briefly obliterated from his mind.

_Pathetic, you are the strongest._

He slowly met her gaze, knowing his blue and brown eyes held the sadness he had been feeling since capturing Alec.

“Yeah.  I don’t play around others.”  He slightly laughed at himself as he said it, eyes shooting to the side, before landing back on the piano before him.

_Played for Alec all the time._

“You know, before I met you.  Simon and I were in a band together.  Well, he would play all the songs.  I just made the artwork.”  She meandered over before sitting down on the cushioned piano bench beside him.  “I can hear the emotion in your music.  It brings out the soul of what you feel.  It’s beautiful.”

_I need…_

He did not want her to understand he was playing for himself.  Did not want her sympathy, did not deserve it.  Instead he returned to his old kneejerk reaction that had been ingrained in him most of his life.

“Clary, I don’t feel anything.  It’s just a bunch of notes.” He made a soft laugh, nearly a scoff when he said it.

Wrong thing to say.  Clary’s green eyes hardened.  “Really?  We’re back to this now?  This attitude is how you treated me when I first met you?  Jace, I thought you had moved passed this with me.”

_Fuck off._

She continued lecturing, headless of the growing anger on his face.  “Just because Alec got hurt doesn’t mean you fall apart.  The Jace I know doesn’t fall apart.  He doesn’t let anything stop him.”

“Alec is my parabati!  He’s more than just hurt.  If we can’t cure him our bond will break!” Jace argued, fists clenching over the keys.

“Alec survived it breaking before.  Lucian survived it.  Even your step-dad survived it!  It happens all the time.” She yelled back, standing up.  “You know what?  I came in here hoping for some sympathy from you about Jonathan.  Obviously I was wrong.”  She stormed towards the door, red hair bouncing behind her.

He knew she was right.  Parabati bonds broke for a number of reasons; death mostly, if one became a Silent Brother or Iron Sister, or if one became a downworlder.  The angelic magic would fade or snap and so would the bond.  What she did not understand was just how painful that would be.  Alec never told him what it felt like and Jace had been wrapped up in his own cowardice and problems to ask.  The angel raising him from the dead had been a lot to deal with back then.  Why the bond returned he just assumed was due to the Angel.

_Damnit. Fucking woman._

“Clary wait.”

She paused, glancing back at him from the threshold of the door.  Jace took a breath, forcing himself to bring his blue and brown eyes to stare into her bright green.  “Look I’m sorry alright.  The last few days have been a nightmare that I can’t escape from.  If there is some news about Jonathan, good or bad.  I’d like to hear it.”

She smiled softly, the anger in her green eyes shifting to something warmer.  “Izzy’s tests discovered that Jonathan has zero traces of demonic essence anywhere.  He’s a normal Shadowhunter.  He can live a normal life.”

_The murdering psycho._

His eyes widened.  “You want to give a murderer another chance?  Clary.  He used you.  He tried to kill you.  He tried to kill all of us.”

“He’s still my brother.  Valentine threw him away the moment he could.  Jonathan wasn’t even given a chance to learn what a normal family was supposed to feel like.  Everything he has ever know has been taught to him by demons or told he was a monster by Valentine.  What if.  What if there is a way to rehabilitate him?  He is not part demon anymore.  He can live the life he was meant to have before Valentine experimented on him.”  Her voice was filling up with tears, begging him to understand.

“Clary this is insane.  Jonathan will try to kill anyone for no other reason than he can.”

“You don’t know that.”

“The Clave will never let him become a Shadowhunter.”  He stood from the piano bench, needing to move.  Began pacing back and forth.

“He already proved himself as a Shadowhunter when he disguised himself as Sebastian.  He was amazing as a Shadowhunter.  He has knowledge that could help our cause.  Expertise that would strengthen even your fighting skills.” She tried to reason.

Jace was not hearing any of it.  “The answer is no.  I’m not giving that murdering psycho a free pass.” Jace firmly informed her, staring into her green eyes trying to pierce the answer against her skull.

“Tough.  I already called a Silent Brother to review him and begin rehabilitation.”

_What the actual fuck._

“Clary.  No!  How would they even contain him?  He could take out the entirety of the Brotherhood given half a chance.”

“He won’t.  I talked to Jonathan myself.  He’s different now.  I can see it.” She pleaded.

_This is going to explode in my face._

“Does the Clave know?  They were here earlier for the souls ejection point review.”

“No.  I had Magnus contact Brother Zachariah directly to examine Jonathan.  Apparently, the Brotherhood can do a few things without the Clave knowing.” She smirked.

“What about Alec?”

_Don’t touch him.  Please.  Don’t touch him.  If the Clave knew how much Edom’s magic had infected him they would quarantine Alec and kill him immediately._

“Well, I just assumed he would be examined as well.  This way both get rehabilitated together.  Everyone’s problems are solved.”  She sounded so blasted pleased with herself.

_Never assume anything._

No.  He could not let a Silent Brother know Alec was missing a chunk of his soul, knowing Magnus was aware was bad enough.

Jace adopted a casual forced stride past Clary, itching to sprint to Maryse and Lydia’s joint Head of the Institute office.  Heartbeat pounding in his chest the entire way there, Clary jogging to keep up with his quick pace.  He shoved the heavy oak door open.  He didn’t bother knocking.

_Need to proceed with caution, this is Maryse._

Maryse sat at Alec’s desk going over paperwork, blue light from the computer screen shining on her face, skin completely clear and bare of runes from her brief exile.  She looked up leaning back in her chair when Jace and Clary arrived together.

“Clary wants to dispatch a Silent Brother to Alec and Jonathan’s cell.  You can’t allow it.”  Jace stated angrily.  The earlier reminder to himself failing to rein in his concern.

_There went caution._

Sometimes he hated how he could not be the perfect soldier. 

“Your objection is noted.  Why are you suddenly against the idea?”  Maryse glanced between the two of them, observing the tension, before setting her pen down and pushing the paperwork to the side.  “Jace.  The Silent Brother was your idea.  And it was a decent one.”

_No it was most certainly not._

“No, it wasn’t.”  Jace started to defend himself, crossing his arms across his chest.

His adoptive mother must have read his face, because she crossed her arms over her chest, expression shifting into a sterner one.  “Yes, Jace, it was.  You mentioned it when we first brought Alec and Jonathan in.  At the time I did not feel it immediately necessary to bring a Silent Brother into this Institute.  It would raise questions back in Idris.  However, I can use Jonathan’s strange recovery to have Alec looked at as well.”

_Fuck, he did say that._

That was before logic had sunk in later while sitting in Izzy’s laboratory.  Parabati bonds were sacred, usually if one of the halves was infected with enough demon blood to change into a vampire or werewolf the bond would break.  Alec missing part of his soul had to mean something horrible to the Silent Brothers.  Yet, the one Silent Brother Jace had interacted with had covered up whatever was going on with the bond.

_Brother Zachariah._

Maryse continued.  “Clary came to me shortly after Izzy informed her of Jonathan’s results.  The Silent Brothers have always had ways of treating the mind that we cannot hope to accomplish here at the Institute.  Their own rituals involve the soul.  Something Alec will need.  But Jonathan needs to be dealt with first.  And we need a Silent Brother for that.  I cannot let my personal problem interfere with the duty that is required of us.”

An icy chill of rage went through Jace.

“You still put your reputation before your own son.  After everything we have been through.” Jace could not believe what he was hearing, her priorities.

_I thought you cared about Alec.  He is your son._

“Jace.  I’m following orders.  Orders you would understand if you slowed down.  The Clave has brought me back from exile because of Alec’s sudden inability to lead this Institute.  After Jonathan’s decimation of our ranks they require anyone they can get.  I presided over this Institute before.  I will do so again.  There are already questions concerning the decimation of Edom by one single Shadowhunter.  People are talking.  They need answers to Jonathan’s presence here and this Institute needs to show it can still function without Alec.  If word got out about Alec’s health, they may not wait to have a Silent Brother look at him.  They may order him killed.”

Jace locked his shoulders back, digging his fingers into his arms where he still had them crossed.  Usually, Maryse treated him as the favored son, the perfect warrior, he could still gain some traction for Alec.

“Only Brother Zachariah.  No one else.”  Jace demanded, still uneasy about the idea.  He held Maryse’s gaze not backing down until he saw her nod once.

_I’m not going to lose him to the Brotherhood._

“Thank you Jace.” Clary sounded relieved.

A knock on the heavy door sounded.

“Mom.  It’s Izzy.  I have Alec’s results.” Isabelle’s muffled voice carried through the door.

“We will discuss this further at tomorrow’s conference.  Go get some rest.  You look like you both need it.  Dismissed.”  Maryse ended the conversation and returned to her work fully expecting them to obey.

“I’m staying.” Jace announced, planting his feet harder into the floor as if that would stop Maryse from throwing him out if she wanted too.  Clary moved to the door to open it for Isabelle.

Maryse gave him a long look, weighing her next decision.  He saw her brown eyes flicker towards her daughter in the doorway. “Clary, dismissed.  Jace, stay.”  She leaned forward and motioned for Isabelle to come in with a wave of her hand.  Clary closed the door quietly behind her and left.

Jace remained locked where he stood.  He felt Isabelle approach until she stood beside Jace facing Maryse.  A quick glance told him Izzy was still in her white lab coat, file clenched tightly in her hands.

“Well, what did you discover?” Maryse’s sharp voice would sound demeaning to anyone who did not know her.  Jace understood it as a demand.

Jace clenched his hands against his elbows harder, digging.  Izzy took a deep breath as if to steady herself.  “Alec has both angelic and demonic essences inside him.”

“So what is he a Seelie now?”  Jace tried to cover his nerves with a vague joke.  Fingers digging into his arms hard enough to start bruising now.

Maryse remained silent only crossing her arms and leaning further back in her chair.

“I’m not entirely certain.  It appears to be from Edom.  So definitely not Seelie.  I would put him closer to a warlock as their magic comes directly from Edom and other hellish realms.”  Izzy chanced a glance at Jace, tears shining in her eyes, before facing Maryse again.  “Mom, the amount of demonic essence should have changed him into an Endarkened.”

_Demonic Shadowhunter._

Maryse was silent for a long moment.  “Will it?”  Maryse whispered, blinking back her own tears for her son.

“It won’t.  That’s the only good news I have.  It appears to be locked in a stalemate with his angelic essence.”

_English please._

“Which means what exactly?”  Jace inquired.  “Can we just inject him with the remaining vial of heavenly fire?”

Izzy sat down in the nearby chair, looking exhausted, smoothing out her lab coat.  “It would work if we had any left.  The last vial was stolen sometime between making the sword that broke Clary free and Lucian gaining his runes back.”

_This can’t be real._

“Do we have any options?” Maryse asked, wiping a hand under her eyes.

Izzy smiled slightly, a brief flicker of hope forming in her eyes.  “Either Simon or Jace can donate their blood, I can filter out the angel essence from their blood and maybe make another weapon or serum from that.  But it will take time.”

Jace found he could not stop blinking his eyes, kept trying to swallow around the lump in his throat.  He felt more than saw Maryse get up from her chair to come around the desk and give Isabelle a tight hug.  Knew he was next.  Stumbled away from the two of them.

“I need to get to Alec.”

He sprinted out of the room.  He didn’t care how it appeared to the others at that moment.  There was a glass pane separating him from his parabati that he needed to reach.

 

O – o – o – o – o

_Thump._

Alec’s opened his dark eyes, glanced over at Jonathan only to find the red haired man asleep on his side, back pressed to the wall.  He had been resting, drifting really.  His side had not let him get a decent amount of shut eye and it seemed insistent on making his life miserable.  He vaguely wanted to carve it off his body.  Granted his arm was not fairing much better as it gave him a sting of disapproval at its mutilated state when he rolled over.

_Least it makes it easier to carve the angel rune every hour._

_Shuffle, shuffle. Thump._

Adrenaline jolted his body awake, he did a quick scan around the room again turning his dark head towards the glass pane of their adjoined cell, squinting his eyes to peer through the gloom and spotted a lump of cloth.  Blankets and a dark blond head sticking out.

_Jace?_

His heartbeat eased off.  Alec sighed and tried rolling himself back over, intent on going back to sleep.  He was still bitter about Jace refusing to let him out of this cage.  Jace’s faith in him was obviously still zero.

_He never listens to me._

His rune had lost some of its frigid cold at least.  The warmth lulling him back towards sleep.  He let his arm fall to his side where it gave another sting when it hit the floor.  He shook himself awake.  Right, the angelic rune.  Brought his left arm up and proceeded to etch the rune into his skin with his fingernails again, closing his eyes against the pain.  Welcoming the burn when the rune was completed.  Why it was activating without a stele he wasn’t sure, but whatever the reason it was keeping him sane for the moment.

_Yeah, because you’ve been incredibly sane since you left Edom._

Alec growled at himself, glanced back over at Jace.  The body now lay quiet.

_You better be asleep._

He inched closer, froze for a second when Jace shifted slightly.  Then proceeded to army crawl, favoring his right arm, across the floor to the glass wall.  Jace lay sleeping on the concrete floor on the other side.  Pillow tucked under his head, arms wrapped around it in a choke hold.

Alec thought he would feel several different emotions upon seeing his parabati up close again, anger or that obliterating feeling of passion he had thought he was over.  Relief was not one of them, but the rush of relaxation felt amazing as his muscles finally unclenched from the coil they had been locked in since he’d given his blood sample to Jace.  He lay down opposite Jace, mirroring his body, pressing his back against the glass and let the warmth coming from his rune lull him to sleep.

 

O – o – o – o – o

 

The sword glowed in his hands as Jace brought the seraph blade from over his head down to directly in front of his chest.  Spun to face the opposite direction and repeated the maneuver, eyes closed as he tried to picture the attack in his mind.  Slow breath in, slow breath out.  Turned, directed his blade into a slash to the side.  Another rotation and he spun the blade back and forth in an attack.

“Come on Jace, meeting in ten.”  Izzy called as she walked by the main training room.  Coffee in her hand, normal tight red dress in place of her white lab coat, dark makeup.

Jace did not acknowledge just continued practicing the form until he ended it by slashing the sword back and forth twice in front of him followed by a lunging stab forward.  He straightened up and hollered after her.  “I’ll be there.”

He turned the blade off and headed down to the Ops Center for the meeting Maryse had scheduled for them earlier.  Rounding the corner he spotted red hair moving his way.

_I don’t want to deal with this._

“Where were you last night?” Clary demanded as she approached him.  Her tiny body still smaller than he expected after only a couple months of training as a Shadowhunter.

“Sleeping.”

“Really?  With who?”  She glared, eyes spitting fire.  “Because you never came to bed.”

They were fast approaching the meeting room and Jace could hear voices from beyond.  He had severe reservations about showing up arguing with Clary in front of everyone.  Even more reservations about telling her he had slept on the concrete in front of Alec’s cell.

_Think.  Fast._

“No one.  I didn’t sleep in my room.  Slept in Izzy’s.” 

_Please, don’t ask Izzy._

Clary left his side and walked straight towards Izzy.  Jace hurried to catch up.

“Izzy.”

“Izzy!”

They both exclaimed at the same time.  Jace begged Izzy silently, from behind Clary, to respond to him first, one hand reaching slightly out toward her before he dropped it.

Clary turned to glance back at Jace before whipping back around to look at Izzy, eyes flitted between the two trying to discern an answer to whatever question she had in her head.

“Jace sleep in your room last night?”  Blunt and direct as always.  Izzy’s eyes slid over to Jace where he kept silently begging her to say yes.

“Yeah, we stayed up talking after our discussion with mom.” Izzy said slowly, still looking between the two of them.

_Thank you._

Jace let out a tiny sigh of relief.  His eyes slid towards Clary, hoping she had not noticed the nonverbal exchange between himself and Izzy.

There was still a tension in her body and her lips were turned down into a small grimace of irritation.  Jace expected her to continue her verbal assault only for her to turn her head towards him, a soft smile flicker onto her face and ask, “You ok?”

“Yeah.  Yeah.  We’re both fine.”  Jace assured her, grabbing the top of the chair in front of him.

Clary swung her gaze back and forth between Jace and Izzy, before turning and finding a seat near Simon not far away.

“Want to tell me what that was about?”  Izzy whispered, dark eyebrows raised in a sort of mock.  She knew his reputation with women from the past.  Which was terrible, he had typically just found short relationships that lasted no longer than a couple of weeks at most.

“Not really.”

Clary had been his first stable relationship and now he could not seem to focus enough to even want her.  All because that blistering kiss he could not keep out of his head.

“You can talk to me if you two are having a rough patch you know.” Izzy squeezed his arm before sitting down near Simon, smoothing out her red dress as she did, dark runes standing out on her arms.

_Not happening._

Jace threw himself into the chair in front of him just as Maryse walked in, went to grab his stele to start playing with it only to realize he had shattered it last night and had not bothered to retrieve a new one from the armory.  Shoved his hands behind his blond head instead and looked across the table.  Magnus sat directly across from him, wearing some expensive tailored black suit and ridiculously expensive red shirt, complete with his glittery makeup.  He was monitoring Jace with a sharp, knowledgeable gaze.

“Trouble in paradise?”  Magnus flippantly inquired, sipping what appeared to be a cocktail complete with umbrella sticking out the top.

_I would love a drink too._

Jace glowered at him, refusing to respond.

“Let’s begin shall we.”  Maryse stood straight and tall before all of them.  Her eyes briefly flickered towards Magnus and his obviously alcoholic drink before deeming it not worth her time.  “Isabelle completed the blood tests on both Alec and Jonathan last night.  Given the severity of the results I have deemed it necessary to bring in Brother Zachariah to review both of them.  Jace, Simon you will begin donating blood to Isabelle at the lab.  She intends to make an antidote with the angelic properties in your blood.  Magnus, as the High Warlock of Brooklyn, will begin applying his magic to transfuse some of the Edomic magic out of Alec each day until he is healed.  Jonathan’s mental state will be determined by the Silent Brother.  _IF_ he truly is cured of his demonic side he will either be sent to the Silent Brothers or the Clave.  Dismissed.”

“You can’t do that.”  Clary shouted, slamming her hands down as she stood up, all energy and self-righteousness.

“I can.  And I will.”  Maryse remarked calmly with a bit of steel, back still straight.

“You told me we can try and rehabilitate him!” Clary stomped around the large table towards Maryse, eyes pleading.

“That is precisely what the Silent Brothers will do.  Rehabilitate him.  But he must answer for his crimes and for that he will need to stand before the soul sword and the Clave.”  The steel in her voice did not waver, arms still calmly at her sides as Clary stormed past muttering to herself about the Clave.

Jace did not believe for one second Jonathan could be rehabilitated.  He had murdered hundreds.  The soul sword killing Jonathan would be an excellent blessing in his mind, Clary would be devastated though.

Magnus took a sip of his drink, swirling it in his hand.  “I’m sure Biscuit will be fine.  Not everyone understands her sympathies towards that evil ex-demonic sibling of hers.”

“Yeah.  You and me both.”  Jace laughed uncomfortably aware he should be following her, eyes still on the door where Clary had stormed out.  Instead he turned his head back to Maryse, leaning forward in his chair.  “I was thinking of giving Alec a blood transfusion instead.  Wouldn’t that work?”

“The heavenly fire power in your blood would be frail in that form.”  Izzy commented.  “I already considered it.”

Jace crossed his arms and leaned back looking at Magnus.  “Couldn’t you just drag the demonic essence out of him all at once?  Use your magic.”

Magnus had been observing him carefully since the meeting started and it was starting to make Jace’s skin itch.  Jace kept his face impassively blank, rubbed his fingers against his palm, missing his stele.

“That would kill him.  Immediately.  The amount of demonic power Alec was exposed to isn’t like being exposed to regular demon ichor.  He would have needed to bleed himself nearly to death breaking all seven Edomic seals.  The hellish explosion afterwards would have filled his veins with that power.  It should have killed him.”  Magnus’s eyes flickered towards Jace’s side.  The weight of that golden gaze on his rune turned something sharp in Jace.

“Well it didn’t.”  Jace snapped.

“No, it didn’t.  Instead he survived because his soul was stretched between two places at once.”  Magnus calmly stated.

Jace’s hand dropped to the parabati rune under his shirt, shielding it.  Heterochromia eyes locked with the warlock’s glitter covered orbs.  He suspected the warlock knew something Jace didn’t.

_What are you hiding?_

“Let me spell it out to you, Jace.  Alexander will not get better.  You may remove Edom’s taint from his body and he will heal, physically.  But most of his soul has left.  There is no coming back from that.”  A firm, finality in his voice that had Jace resisting the urge to run back down to Alec’s cell and curl up on the floor where he had woken that morning.  He resisted it, barely, body frozen instead.

Silence hung in the room.  Simon shifted uncomfortably.  Izzy gave a soft sob.  Maryse pulled the chair in front of her out and sat down heavily. 

Jace unfroze, reared back standing up, eyes clenching tight, before snapping open, zeroing in on Magnus in rage.  “Alec is paying the price of your decision!”

“And you should never have let him come to Edom in the first place.”  Magnus’s hissed softly, magic flickered angrily to the surface, sparks of blue jumping off his hand around the drink he was still holding.

“Let’s work…”  Maryse brought her palms down sharply on the table trying to interrupt them.

“Use your magic, warlock.  He sacrificed everything for you.  Do something!” Jace snarled, heterochromia eyes glaring daggers at Magnus.

“Jace.  That’s enough.”  Maryse ordered.

Jace stared at Magnus, taking a step back, head shaking side to side slightly.  Tried searching for Alec’s soul through the rune again.  The same warmth followed by razor ice.  The rune pulsed and burned when he reached again.

_Please don’t leave me, Alec._

He turned to leave, shoulder hitting the side of the doorway as he jogged out.  There was only one place he wanted to be now.

 

O – O –O – O – O

 

The door to Alec and Jonathan’s cell hissed open before Jace, taking a breath in, he shoved the cart full of supplies forward, the two buckets sloshing water over the sides.  He may as well complete the task Izzy wanted from him as well.

_Get him injected and get out._

The first thing he noticed upon entering was that there was no strong body sleeping pressed against the glass wall.  A quick sweep of the room had his eyes landing on the two current prisoners.  Alec was seated next to Jonathan across the room, oddly intimate with his right arm stretched across the others lap.

_That’s not weird at all._

Alec’s gaze flickered from Jace to Jonathan before locking on Jace’s face.  Neither Jonathan nor Alec moved from their spot leaning against the wall.

Jace found himself hesitating which was unlike him, observing Alec’s right arm stretched out across Jonathan’s lap, littered in new bloody angelic runes.  Jonathan had not stopped the mauling of Alec’s arm until he had completed the newest rune, something vaguely sharp between his fingers.  Mission reflexes kicking in, brought Jace to high alert.

_He has a weapon._

“A stele would be excellent.”  Jonathan’s green eyes clocked the movements of Jace from across the room, his casual polished voice flowing across the room easily.  “It would be rather conducive to healing your parabati.”

“He’s not here to hurt us.” Alec commented mildly, pulling his arm from Jonathan’s grasp.

Jace watched a tremor travel up Alec’s arm as he pushed to a stand.  Jace pulled the cell remote from his pocket along with his new stele, hit a couple buttons to shift the invisible barriers in the room around allowing for him to place the buckets and clean clothes without needing to worry about the two attacking him.

“Nope.  Jonathan stand over there, drop what’s in your hand.  Alec stand there.”  He picked up the buckets from the cart and dropped them at the indicated points.  “Wash up.  I’ve got bandages for your wounds.”  Jace informed them, dropping the clothes close to each bucket before crossing his arms in front of his chest as he stared down at the pair across from him.  Vaguely wondering if the barriers would still allow Alec to cross them or not since they were set to detect demonic presence.

“Bit demanding isn’t he?”  Jonathan asked Alec, ignoring Jace, as he flicked a tiny piece of metal across the room where it bounced harmlessly against the floor.  Jace couldn’t make out what the bit of metal was from this distance.

“Do as he says.  You argue with him, you won’t see Clary.” Alec replied, moving to the indicated spot.

Jace kept his eyes flicking between the two as he walked over to the bit of metal, picking it up.  It was no bigger than his fingernail, bent out of shape until it was impossible to discern where Jonathan had even found the scrap.

Jonathan glanced at the clock, finally standing up and wandering over to the indicated spot.  “I give it ten minutes before he sees what you really are.” He taunted Alec, before stripping off his clothes efficiently and began washing.  Jace noted two faded demonic symbols on Jonathan’s chest.

Jace was not surprised by the nudity.  This particular cell was designed as an isolation cell and lacked most amenities the usual cell would house.  The surprise came from witnessing Alec strip without complaint or blush.  Jace felt a strange awkward tension fill him, forced his gaze to sweep clinically over Alec as he washed.  He was here to observe for Izzy, search for any additional demonic runes and injuries that were unaccounted for.  Apparently, Simon’s suggestion to just knock them out and strip them to search was frowned upon.  Jace had felt torn between agreeing with Simon and arguing on Alec’s defense.

_Right arm needs healing Iratze. Parabati rune enflamed. Wrist swollen._

Alec turned to the side, leaning down to continue washing when he saw them.  Three demonic symbols scrawled across his back.  He obviously could not have drawn them there himself.  Jace eyed Jonathan distrustfully.  Jonathan ignored him in favor of the bucket of water.  The water hitting the floor from each of the detainees was a mild rust red.  Watching the blood wash off Alec’s arm made his stomach drop, black lines following his veins interlocking with the bloody angelic rune.  Some were written over Alec’s normal runes as well digging deep under the skin.

_Demonic infection certain.  Mundane infection probable._

“So what are the demonic runes used for?” he asked just to fill the silence, gesturing towards Alec’s body.  Alec’s whole body tensed and his eyes searched out Jonathan’s form. 

_That was strange behavior._

“Breathing, extra blood, and stamina.”  Jonathan responded simply, but Jace could see him watching Alec carefully.

“Somehow I doubt those work similarly to our angelic runes.  Your twinning rune overrode Clary’s ability to think for herself.  What do these do?”   Jace kept his arms crossed in front of him, refusing to fidget in front of nudity.

Jonathan shrugged, pulling on the clean pants that were on the cart, grabbing the shirt next.  Alec had stopped moving for the most part, hand itching his side, water dripping down his body.  Jace felt his gaze being drawn back toward his body, examining the demonic runes on Alec’s back.

“I made him live long enough to complete the ritual that broke his boyfriend out.  You should be thanking me.”

_Yeah.  Still don’t know why you did that._

Alec’s harsh inhale and strange jerky movement had Jonathan lunging across the room, only to come up short from the barriers Jace had erected earlier with the remote.

Jace automatically leapt between them, crossing the unseen threshold of one barrier. “Back off, Jonathan.  You’ve done enough damage to him.”

“I have, have I?” Jonathan sneered.  Green eyes locking onto Jace before flickering towards Alec behind him. 

Too late.  Jace had not forgotten the viciousness Alec had displayed earlier, but habit had placed his back to Alec.  Two strong arms came around his neck in a choke hold, hauling Jace up against a wet body, pressing hard and cutting off his air supply.  Jace instantly threw his body weight back and then forward, bringing his hands up to dig in between the space between his neck and the arms cutting his breath off.  His parabati rune flared to life bringing with it that strange burning heat.

“You are going to give back what is mine.”  Alec snarled, wet, muscled body pressed tightly to Jace soaking his clothes.  Jace threw himself backwards, flailing his legs and kicking off the floor searching for anything he could throw Alec into that would loosen his grip.  They hit the wall.  Jace reached up and grabbed Alec’s wet black hair and pulled as hard as he could throwing the body over his shoulder.

“You want something, ask for it.  I’ll give it to you.” Jace snapped at him before striding over to Alec and grabbing him around the neck with one hand intent on throwing Alec across the room.  He froze.  Alec’s eyes weren’t brown, they were pure demonic black.

_No._

The rune at his side flared wildly out of control.  A mouth collided with his, moving feverishly against it.  His brain must have gone into shock, there was no other reason to explain what he did next.  The hand he had around Alec’s neck slipped around and hauled Alec closer, kissing him back.  A hot tongue slid across his teeth, before teeth bit his lower lip, ensnaring it, breaking the skin there.  Alec’s hand had fisted into his dark blond hair at some point ensuring Jace remained stationary.  A very wet, naked Alec pressed to his front.

_Fuck._

Jace drew back, struggling to regain some control over what had just happened.  Jace licked his lips tasting salt and iron.  Alec’s throat bobbed once, eyes fading from black to brown.

_That was not supposed to happen again._

The silence held only their ragged breathing, even Jonathan was frozen in his spot.

_Focus on why you are here._

Jace’s mismatched eyes stared into brown once more.  He reached into his back pocket slowly, grabbing the syringe he had brought with him and slammed it into Alec’s shoulder, depressing the needle.  Alec’s eyes flew wide in surprise.  Jace could not help the wicked grin that crossed his face.

_Demon welcome my angel blood._

“What did you give me?”  Alec stammered, backing away and yanking the needle out of his arm.

“Sedative.”  Jace shrugged.  “Go get dressed.”  He tried to cover his confusion and shock with some normalcy.

Alec blinked, frowned, and then blushed dark red before stumbling over to pull pants on.  “Just….just don’t touch me.”

_You touched me first!  Again!_

Jace took a breath, trying to calm the whirling confusion and heat that had just blasted through his body.  Time to finish this mission and get out, hopefully with dignity still intact.

“I told you, tremors and fever.  Getting worse, Nephilim.  Should ask your parabati to start carving those runes into you.”  Jonathan commented darkly, arms resting against the barrier separating them, he appeared not to care that it was burning his skin. 

Alec rolled his eyes, but the moment his gaze flickered towards Jace it dropped to the ground, a harsh sound of pain escaping him, fists clenching tight.

Jace had no idea what Alec was thinking.  Jonathan’s comments adding tension to his shoulders.  The only fact he did know was that he was about to approach a deadly warrior that was spiraling out of control.  The whiplash of emotions Alec’s actions were causing in him forming a need to do something.

“Alright.  Easy now.  Jonathan get off the damn barrier.  Alec I’m going to come over there and draw the Iratze runes on you.”  Jace ordered, mind still scrambling to regain control of this whole situation.

Alec’s entire body froze, neck so taut he could see corded tendons sticking out.  “You’ll regret it.”

“Don’t think I will.”  Jace ignored the threat, approaching slowly.

“Don’t push me.”

“Not pushing you.”  Jace whispered stopping in front of Alec, stele in hand, hands up.  “We’re on the same side.”

Alec still refused to meet his gaze, body hunched over.  Jace reached out with both hands to press against the skin on the mangled arm, slowly starting to draw the Iratze in gold.  Alec’s entire body shuddered, breathing uneven, when the rune activated, its gold seeping from his skin.  Jace drew his hand down the arm tracing the dark black lines of demonic infection before retracing the rune again.  The mangled angelic runes healed into something more faded, the demonic symbols on his chest fading slightly.

He chanced a glance up at Alec’s face, his brow furrowed when he saw it still turned away.

He moved slowly to Alec’s back afraid he might set off another violent attack, but Alec barely moved just kept his head turned to the side looking down.  Brushed his hand against Alec’s back in warning, watching goosebumps form before drawing a set of six Iratze around the three demonic symbols.

“Huh.  Guess parabati bonds are sturdier than believed.”  Jonathan’s low comment carried across the silence of the room.  “You aren’t dead yet.”

Jace ignored him. Walked away from Alec, grabbing the dropped syringe, before returning with bandages for Alec’s arm.  Alec shifted to a more comfortable seated position.  Jace started smearing everything in a salve before wrapping the bandages around Alec’s arm efficiently, listening to Alec’s breathing finally even out.  Letting his fingers find Alec’s temple before sliding down to the nape of his neck briefly before brushing down and away, telling himself he was checking for a fever.  His parabati rune did not feel so irritated now, but that pulse and burn was still lodged against his skin, slowly driving a feeling into his body he tried to dismiss.

“Alright, Jonathan, your turn.  Any injuries that need to be addressed?”  Jace questioned, standing up and moving away from where Alec had sunk to the floor.

“Well, I am perfectly healthy.  I have your Nephilim to thank for that.  Seems he couldn’t let a wayward soul die in Edom.”

_Great. I came in here to help solve these problems not add to the fucking list._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Well, here’s the list of all known injuries and infections for Alec and Jonathan.”  Jace set the tablet down on the nearby desk as soon as he entered the armory.  Clary was standing across the weapons worktable from Izzy.  Both were engrossed in cleaning various weapons of theirs.  The entire room smelled of oil and metal.  All sides of the room held various weapons displays and hidden nooks for more weapons to be stored.

Isabelle looked up from her work, smirked, then out-right laughed. “What happened to you?”

_Alec happened._

Jace glared.  He was not about to explain anything that happened down in that cell.  He had wanted to change before finding Izzy but lost that opportunity on his way to his room when he had run into several other Shadowhunters on the way needing Shadowhunter advice or requesting training time slots.  So here he stood still damp from the fight with Alec, lip still swollen and bloody from the kiss.

“Got in a fight with Alec.” He tossed back smiling cockily.  “I won.”

“With a wet towel?” she deadpanned, eyebrow raised.

“You sent me down there to check on their condition.  Not my fault they had issues with a bath and a few healing runes.”  He leaned one shoulder against the wall near her workbench smiling down at her.  Disregarding the strange sensation that went through his stomach at the thought of his dark haired parabati.

“Well, what did you find?” inquired Isabelle, picking up the tablet, eyes scanning the document.  “Good, Alec responded positively to the Iratze runes.  Odd…Jonathan has zero injuries.”

“Yeah I thought so too.”

“Could this be more evidence that Jonathan is healed from the injections he received as a baby?” inquired Clary, her green eyes raked over Jace’s damp form.

“Maybe.”  Jace pushed off the wall and sauntered over to the biohazard bin dropping the used syringe inside.

“You had to sedate one of them?”  Izzy’s eyes narrowed in mild concern, head cocking to the side.

“Who?” Clary immediately questioned after Izzy spoke.

_Here this goes._

“Alec.  It was the only way I could get close enough to place the runes.”

_Not exactly a lie._

“Are you ok?”  Clary earnestly asked, leaving the worktable and coming toward him.  She attempted to touch him but he dodged smoothly away.

“Yeah.  Of course.  Why wouldn’t I be?  It’s Alec.  I know how he fights.  But Izzy I will need some more of those needles and a few blood sample containers.”

Izzy appeared slightly confused by the request but relented. “Of course.”  She went over to her drawer of supplies and pulled out a pack of needles and a few empty containers before handing them over.  All were empty.  Then set the drug vial on the worktable in front of Jace.

_Perfect._

“Clary, don’t you have training with Jace and Simon soon?” Izzy asked.

_Crap, she suspected something._

“Yeah, in about an hour.”  Clary responded.

“I have an idea.  You want to show off that new skill I have been teaching you?  Go start warming up, take Simon with you.  Maybe two against one will prove Jace wrong as the fastest, strongest, and fiercest.”

Clary smiled brightly, loving the idea of a challenge.  “Jace, I’m going to win today.”

Ever since joining their team she had been trying to outdo Jace and Alec in any capacity she could find.  Ok, mostly Alec if Jace was honest.  Those two held a competitive edge towards each other that Jace still had not figured out.  Unfortunately, for Clary, she had yet to find anything she could best them in except drawing the runes the angels sent her.

“I think I’m still going to kick your ass!” He grinned back as she headed out the door.

“I’m going to go shelve these and head down to training.”  Jace stated, grabbing the vial off the workbench to add to the pile.

“Oh, no.  You get to tell me what is going on with you.” She smirked evilly at him, as if she found something amusing.

_I’m kissing Alec._

“I can’t do this right now.  I have training to get too.”  Jace could not quite meet her eyes, spun on his heel and left quickly.

“Jace!  She told me that ever since your illness you refuse to be intimate with her.”

_What the hell Clary!_

Jace stopped walking, spun around and angrily approached Isabelle.  “So we hit a rough patch, like every relationship does.”  He jabbed a finger at Isabelle’s chest.  “She doesn’t need to complain to you about what we do or do not do together.”  Jace was trembling in anger, the parabati rune was heating up rapidly.

“Jace?  Hey it’s ok.  I’m not going to judge.  Look, I don’t have a perfect track record with guys.  I just started dating Simon.  But I just wanted you to know you can talk to me if you need to about relationships.  I might not have the best advice, but I can listen.”  She was looking at him with a mix of concern and pity.

_Listen to me fu…_

He viciously cut that thought off.  Even as the heat from his parabati rune continued to pulse through his body.  Tried rolling his shoulders back to stand normally and release the anger.

“Iz.  I’m not sure where Clary and I stand right now and I’d appreciate it if you could back off long enough for me to figure it out.”

“Right.”  She looked mildly annoyed and disbelief was written clearly across her face.

He sighed, rubbing his hand across his face, asking for patience.  “Ever since Alec’s injury the parabati bond hasn’t felt completely normal.  It has me on edge and sex is the last thing on my mind lately.  I’m sorry that Clary is taking this poorly but she needs to learn that I’m connected to another person.”

Isabelle’s dark eyes lit with some inner understanding, lips curving up into a wicked smirk.  “So until Alec gets better you can’t have sex?”

_That is so not what I just said._

“Fucking hell Iz.  You know that’s not what I mean.” Jace threw his arms out in exasperation.

“Kind of sounded like it.”  She was smiling broadly now, holding back laughter.  “You know, once Alec gets better, I’m totally hanging that you can’t have sex without him over his head.  He’ll be permanently mortified, that or Magnus will convince you to do a threesome.”

_Didn’t need the mental imagery._

“Iz!”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Darkness and light, the two dichotomies had always fascinated Alec.  Two halves of the same whole always needing the other to show the other it existed.

This had been Alec’s life for as long as he could remember.  The Institutes leader that was never good enough.  The brother that sinned for loving the one he should not.  His own self-hatred that made him want to kill himself verse the struggle to survive.

The cold floor was still wet.  He passed his hand across the bright light above him letting the shadow pass over his face, shielding his dark brown eyes.

“How does sanity feel?” Jonathan drawled from across the room.

Alec rubbed his hand over his eyes, before sitting up from where he had been laying on the floor.  “It feels like living.  You said “Life is a struggle.”  Well, so is sanity.”

“Do you think I’m sane now?”  Jonathan asked for the hundredth time since their escape from Edom.

_No._

“You still enjoy pain.  You still have an obsession over your sister…” he slid his hands through the dirty water, watching the muck make intricate patterns around one hand.

“She is my sister.  She loves me.  It’s not an obsession.”  Jonathan leaned forward on his arms, corner of one lip turning up in a slight snarl.

Alec looked up at the lights above him briefly, licking his lips.  “You also saved me.  So you have some twisted sense of sanity in that head of yours.” 

“I’m the twisted one?”

_Don’t remind me._

Alec did not want to go over the massive sins he had committed since exiting Edom.  The killing and Jace.  Every time Jace got near him he lost all sense of reason.

“How did you deal with it?”

Jonathan smiled, showing his teeth.  “I didn’t.  Do you hate me for it?”

_Not anymore._

“I think I’m supposed too.  You killed again and again without reason or remorse.”  He shrugged, looking at the brilliant green of Jonathan’s eyes.

Something flickered across Jonathan’s face, his eyes closing off.  “I did.  But I can be good, for Clary.  But….how do you be good?”

Alec didn’t have an answer to that.  His own internal battle slowly driving him towards a madness a larger and larger part wanted to cave too.  That part that killed the two shadowhunters he had under his own command, he knew them.  The part that wanted to rip Jace apart.

_Think of the opposite._

“Love.  If you love something I don’t think you are supposed to kill it.”

“My mother wanted me dead.  Father sent me to Edom.  He claimed he loved me.” Jonathan said tonelessly.

“Your father didn’t care about you.  He used you.” Alec stated flatly.

“Just like your lovely parabati does not care about you?  He seemed rather interested in returning your advances.  Or is he only using you?”  Jonathan advanced towards Alec slowly, grinning, teeth flashing.  “That was not a sedative.  You haven’t tried to attack me in three hours.”

“That’s because he drew several new healing runes on me rather than just digging his nails in like a caveman.”  Alec snapped, slapping his hand down into the dirty water.  The fact Jonathan had brought up Jace had his hackles rising.

“Next time I’ll leave you to Edom’s magic.”  Jonathan growled back eyes flashing briefly before turning to some unknown emotion.

Alec stared at him blankly, piecing together the turmoil Jonathan must be going through with detachment.  The red haired man had no one.  Alec’s non-infected self had decided to protect Jonathan long enough to escape Edom.  Jonathan had in turn helped him through those first terrible days even bringing him blood when they first exited.

“Just come over here.”  He patted the spot beside him, splashing the water slightly.

“Unlike your demented mind.  I am not sitting in that.  Come to me.”  Jonathan turned his body towards his usual spot against the wall and slid down the wall, kicking his legs out in front of him.

Alec didn’t move.  But after 30 minutes of silence Alec pulled himself up, noting the icy burn in his rune growing stronger, before stalking over to Jonathan.  Jonathan just leaned his red haired head back in an unspoken challenge.  Alec slid to the floor next to him holding his right arm out to Jonathan.

Jonathan inspected the healing iratze runes Jace had drawn on earlier, tracing each one carefully, found an open spot and dug his nails in harshly tearing open the skin.  Alec grit his teeth together and said nothing.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

A small body bounded around the corner to the breakfast hall.  Jace spotted the blur and side stepped quickly.  Reaching out an arm in an attempt to slow the brown flash down, only for said brown flash to slam directly into Clary who had been walking beside Jace.

“Max!”  Jace admonished.  “No running in the halls.”

Max recovered from his bounce easily, grinned broadly before shoving a piece of paper into both Jace and Clary’s faces.  “I’m getting more runes!”

Jace squinted at the illegible paper flailing in front of his face before plucking it out of Max’s grasp.  “Acceleration, Action, Elemental shields….Max this is awesome.  Is this because of how well you tracked Alec and Jonathan?”

“Duh.  I’m the best tracker in history.  Mom says if I keep studying I can learn every rune and have it applied.  I’ll be better than you.  I’ll be awesome!”  He was practically bouncing in place with glee in the middle of the hallway.

“Congratulations Max.  I didn’t know there was a ceremony for more runes.”  The red head beside Jace told Max.

“So when is the big party?”  Jace smiled, proud of Max for such a huge accomplishment.

“Mom wanted the party because I’m adding 5 new runes at once.  And they usually just have the one celebration for the angelic rune, but since my awesome abilities brought my brother home, mom wanted to make it special.”  Massive smile still on his face bouncing back and forth in excitement, before darting off to his next victim to invite.  “Time is on the paper!”

Jace glanced down at the paper.  It was directly before Alec’s review with the Silent Brother.  An uneasy feeling twisted his gut, making his appetite for breakfast vanish altogether.

_Crap._

The parabati rune gave a warning pulse.  Sending his mind down a path towards the dark haired man locked in a cell several floors below him.

“Jace?  Come on, let’s go get breakfast down before training.”  Clary touched his shoulder.

He jerked away, breathe rushing back in.  “Yeah.  Don’t forget we need to feed the masses.”

Clary quirked an eyebrow at him.  “I’m sure Jonathan and Alec can sit and stew in whatever misguided decisions they made before we deliver breakfast to their ungrateful selves.”

_Little harsh for Clary._

Jace scanned Clary’s face trying to figure out what that comment really entailed, decided it was not worth the danger of revealing anything happening in his life right now.

“Come on.”  He headed in the direction of the food, grabbing two platters as he went and started loading them up.  Clary joining him with two as well.

Once the plates had been filled, Jace threw them all on a cart and headed down towards the cells, not really caring if Clary chose to sit with Izzy and eat or follow him.  She hurried to catch up. 

“Jace, wait.  Slow down for a second.”  Clary gained ground at the elevator, dropping her own two plates on the cart.  “Look I don’t know why you suddenly hate me or if this is just some misguided attempt to push me away, but it is not going to work.  We’ve been through so much together.  I brought you back from the Owl.  You brought me back from Jonathan.”

_Come here.  It’s time…_

That whispered voice froze him for a moment, hands clenching tightly to the cart, dumping ice and panic through his body.  Thank the Angel he was already standing still.

_Push it away.  It is not real._

Only it had been real for a time before he was cut free.  He logically knew that he was fine, which did not explain the sudden panic.  He shoved the thoughts away, pushed them to the back of his mind to join others he did not want to acknowledge.

“Alec and Magnus brought me back.  You knew something was wrong and you never said anything to Alec.”  Jace kept his voice even.

“I trusted you when you told me not to tell him.”  Clary snapped.

_Maybe you shouldn’t trust me._

The elevator doors pinged and opened.  Jace shoved the cart of food in and punched the button for the lowest level where Alec and Jonathan were being held.  Clary shoved her way into the elevator with him.  His parabati rune started to heat as they descended.  Jace swallowed, nerves plunging through his stomach as he realized just how volatile Alec had been with him every time they were in a room together and now he had Clary right beside him to witness it all.

_Just my luck._

“Look, Clary, we have been through a lot in the half a year we have known each other.  I can’t keep doing this with you.”  Jace began, acutely aware he was trapped in a small enclosed space with the girl that claimed to love him, when his entire body seemed to want to be elsewhere.

“Are you breaking up with me?  Now?” She sounded both angry and hurt, green eyes filling with tears.

“No, I just think maybe we need to take a break.  Breathe for a moment where life is not trying to fall down around us.”  He forced himself to look into her hurt eyes, willed his body not to turn and run to another as soon as the elevator doors pinged open.

“So you are breaking up with me.” She snapped, eyes flashing brighter, hands coming to her hips.  “Is this about Alec?”

_Everything is about Alec._

“Look I can’t do this right now.”  He shoved the cart out of the elevator and strode down towards the cell.

“You started this...”  Clary trailed off when Jace broke into a run towards the cells spotting two forms fighting.

He watched Alec snarl something towards Jonathan before charging at the other tackling him to the ground, they tussled before breaking apart briefly.  Jonathan punching Alec in the face drawing blood before Alec grabbed the hand twisting hard causing Jonathan to roll with the pain.

Jace slammed into the glass.  “Break it up!”  He yelled at the two forms fighting.  Alec’s form froze, gaze swinging towards Jace.  Jace’s blood went cold.  His eyes were demonic black again.

_I need to get in there._

“Give him the injection from yesterday!” hollered Jonathan, twisting free of Alec’s grasp and elbowing him in the back hard.  Alec snarled spinning on Jonathan punching him in the chest first, quickly followed by a hit to the face.  Jace could see blood splatter across the floor.

He sprinted over to the double doors, hitting the buttons to unlock.  Hit them again to close it behind him.  Activated his strength and agility runes with a thought.  Grabbed one of the needles Izzy had given him earlier and pushed it into his arm, drawing the blood out, before using his stele to unlock the doors separating him from the two fighting.  He shoved the door opened and bolted inside.

Alec had Jonathan pinned to the ground now.  One hand wrapped around his neck, the other digging into Jonathan’s arm.  Jace didn’t pause, leaping onto Alec’s back and slammed the needle into his neck, depressing the syringe.  Alec roared releasing Jonathan and standing up, trying to grab Jace.  His parabati rune screamed in pain as Alec threw Jace off him with a demonic strength.  Jace twisted in the air to land with his feet and hands under him.  Stayed kneeling when Alec ripped the needle out of his neck, crushing it in his grip, screaming.

Alec took a few steps away, grabbing his own hair and pulled at it, screaming again.  Before his knees buckled to the floor and he slammed a fist into it.  Jace could see the cracks form in the concrete.

_Alec, stop.  Please._

After a few moments of no movement from the dark haired man, Jace slowly stood up, glancing at Jonathan who had crawled away from Alec and lay there panting.  Not a threat.  Alec remained where he knelt, gasping for breath, each breath sounded stuttering.  Jace drew out a second syringe, this one prepared earlier, he had planned to use it in Alec’s drink for breakfast.  Disgusting but effective.

_May as well give him another dose._

Especially after that violence.  He would need to get Jonathan in a separate cell, Alec would have killed him had he not arrived until after breakfast.  Jace circled closer to Alec, body tensing ready for any type of attack.  He could feel the parabati rune doing its usual pulse and heat, it was strangely a comfort.  It told him Alec was still in there somewhere.  As he circled closer he realized the knelt form was crying.

_Shit.  Alec._   _Pull it together._

In all the years Jace had known Alec he could not recall a single time he had seen him cry.  Not when they were younger and Alec was taking care of Izzy, Max, and Jace.  Not when they were teens, struggling through all the hormonal bullshit.  Not even with Magnus.  He was always the strong leader that everyone thought could not be touched, the one that never showed emotion.

Jace slowly knelt before Alec’s bent form, reaching out slowly to touch his shoulder.  A shudder, another gasped breath, Jace brought the needle up to Alec’s neck letting his hand stroke slowly from the shoulder it had rested on to where the needle pointed.

“Do it.  Please.  I can’t control it.”  Begged Alec, fists tightening on the floor.

Jace pressed the needle into Alec’s neck and depressed the syringe, feeling the rune flare briefly before finally quieting.  Alec breathed out a sigh, entire body relaxing as the blood entered his system.

_Angel blood works.  It’s helping him._

Jace pulled Alec into an embrace, turning Alec’s body easily until the other lay half curled in his lap.  He found himself running his hands through Alec’s hair.

“Who is in control Alec?”  Jonathan called from his side of the room. 

Jace felt the tension form under his hands.  “What did you do to him?” Jace demanded, watching Jonathan closely, hands now running down Alec’s neck seeking to release the tension he felt there.

“He attacked me.  Edom’s magic is creating foundations to sink into the remnants of his soul.  He’s losing it.”  Jonathan actually sounded mildly regretful about that thought.  “Good thing he has your angel infused blood, seems to be doing the trick.  Might get a bit addicted.”

“Jace, what is he talking about?”  Clary.  He had nearly forgotten her presence on the opposite side of the glass.

“We’ll talk about it later.  Send the food in via the ports.”

He could see her struggle with needing to question him further but relented and sent the food in.  Jonathan limped over and picked one up.  The other he slid across the floor where it stopped a few feet away from where Jace sat with Alec in his lap.

“I’ll need an Iratze this time.  And your parabati is going to need a lot more of your blood injections.  Carving the rune onto his arm stopped working sometime last night.”

_You were helping him?_

Jace did not leave Alec’s side until after he had eaten and Jace had drawn several more healing runes and injected him with another dose of blood.  Most of that time he spent running a hand down Alec’s back trying to comfort him, mind racing as he struggled to think up a way to give Alec back his soul.  Angry at Magnus for not returning sooner with new knowledge from his research.  Clary stayed outside the entire time shooting him strange glances and talking to Jonathan.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The black, red, silver, and blue, the kaleidoscope of colors currently arrayed around the room they had decided upon for Max’s new runes ceremony had Jace’s head hurting.  It was not that he did not want to be there.  It was for Max after all.  But after leaving Alec’s side Jace’s head had developed a deep throb.  Tension, worry, and sleeping on a concrete floor catching up to him.  He had positioned himself on the couch, laying down and twirling his stele while Izzy, Simon in his geeky shirt, and Clary sat in chairs to form a circle.  On the bright side everyone he knew was present, excluding Alec.

_Don’t go there right now._

He ordered himself.  Instead he kept an eye on Magnus, waiting for an opening.

“This is so cool.”  Simon informed the group of Shadowhunters.  “I always find new cultures celebrations so fascinating and this is just another layer.  Max told me that he wants to get every single rune on his body.  Is there even enough room for that?  What about if you need to double up.  I know Jace has two speed runes.”

Jace stopped his stele, gaze zeroing in on where the dark haired vampire sat.  “Been checking me out?” He drawled, smirking.

“Pfft.  No.  Clary told me.  Also I think I’ve seen most of you without shirts on.”  Simon paused.  “That did not come out right.”

“No.  No it did not.”  Laughed Izzy.

Clary cracked a smile but was otherwise quiet.

Max came bounding over, skittering to a stop in the middle of their circle, before thrusting his arms out and spinning around showing off 3 of the 5 new runes on his arms, the others probably hidden under his clothes.  “Check them out!  I have the shield of mind and elemental shield of fire on my side.  So what did you get me?”

Izzy handed over her brightly wrapped gift, which Max tore into easily.  A set of throwing knives.

Jace noted Magnus move away from Maryse.

“Here you go, Max.  Make good use of it.”  Jace reached under the couch where he had hidden his present and handed it to Max.  Not willing to share the reason he had selected that particular weapon, just that he felt calmer knowing Max had it.

Max tore into it again, shredding the plain paper, revealing the iron rod with a red jewel at the top. His face lit up. “A skeptron!  Woah!  How did you even get one?  Does mom know you got this?”

“What is a skeptron?  I mean obviously a weapon but why is it so special?”  Clary asked from her spot, unfolding her legs from where she had been curled.

“It’s the most badass weapon.  Nephilim used them in Edom when they would be sent there to fight the asmodei.”  Max said excitedly before grumbling. “Man, Alec killed Lilith and Asmodeus and blew up that realm.  There won’t be any demons from that realm to kill anymore.”

“Glad you like it.”  Jace patted him on the head before swinging his legs off the couch and moving towards Magnus.  He heard Izzy mildly berating Max for wanting more demons and explaining just how many hellish realms existed as he moved towards the warlock.

Magnus had spotted Jace heading his way and changed direction.  Jace switched his trajectory so that he cut Magnus off near the drinks table.  Magnus summoned a dark amber drink with ice into his hand, taking a sip before looking directly at Jace.

“Something you want to say, Shadowhunter?”  Magnus questioned, dark glittery gaze piercing Jace.

Jace crossed his arms, face hardening.  “Yeah.  Why haven’t you begun to siphon the magic out of Alec yet?”

“The preparations to siphon two greater demons magic out of a body, let alone the remnants of a soul takes time.  We have one chance to start this ritual correctly.  If the first attempt does not succeed, there will be no second chance.”

Magnus reached up and twisted the engagement ring on his hand, banishing the drink in the same moment.  Jace felt something primal and territorial crawl through him.

“I need Alec back.  He’s losing it.  He attacked Jonathan this morning.”  Jace informed him.  His headache decided it wanted to kick it up a notch by alerting him to the pulse and burn of his parabati rune as well, adding nausea to the mix.

“You are not the only one who wants Alec back.  The preparations to begin siphoning will be ready tomorrow morning.”  Magnus gaze traveled over Jace’s before dropping to his side.  “I can’t rush this.  Once I remove all of Edom’s taint, only then will we know how Alec’s mind was affected.”

Jace dropped his crossed arms covering the parabati rune with one hand.  A spike of cold anger, along with another emotion he didn’t want to name, bolting through him. “Then why are you here?”

“Jace!  We need you over here!  And bring Magnus with you!”  Yelled Simon from across the room, waving his arms to motion them to hurry up.

“I believe we are being summoned by the vampire.”  Magnus commented wryly, taking the exit presented him easily.

Jace shoved his new dislike of Magnus away.  It was completely uncalled for.  Magnus was engaged to Alec.  The burning heat of a few fiery moments should not mean anything.  He swiped a water bottle off the drink table and headed back over to the others.  Felt a spike of irritation at seeing Magnus on the couch he had previously vacated, but quickly realized he would look awkward not sitting down near the warlock, since it was the only vacant spot.  He sighed internally and threw himself as gracefully as possible onto the couch.

“Ok, we’re here Simon.  What’s the catastrophe?”  Jace questioned, intentionally kicking his feet up on the couch to hoard as much space as possible.  Magnus gave him a rather amused yet irritated look.

“We are all going to play Loaded Questions.” Simon chimed cheerfully, biggest smile on his face.

_Great.  A mundane game._

“How does it work?”  Izzy asked, flipping her black hair back.

“Ok, so each of us gets a card.  No peeking.  Under each card is a question.  You have to read the question to yourself but you must answer it out loud.  If you want to keep your question a secret, eat the jelly bean!”  Simon’s grin had far too much enthusiasm.

“You want us to eat sugar to keep a question secret?”  Jace mocked, glancing at Simon, beginning to twirl his stele in his hands.

Simon just grinned at Jace like the ridicule was expected.  “These just aren’t any jelly beans, these are Harry Potter jelly beans!”

“Your point?”  Jace asked, Izzy slapped his head lightly, causing a random spike of pain to join the headache before returning to its dull throbbing.

“Hey!”  Jace attempted to dodge the hit but was hindered from his sprawled form on the couch.

“Each jelly bean may be a horrible flavor or a tasty one.”  Simon instructed as he started passing out cards and small shot glasses with one jelly bean in each, handing one to Jace first.

_This is going to be horrible._

Jace felt his stomach do another flip and his headache remained silently battering away at his skull.  He took a drink of water as the others grabbed cards and glasses from Simon.

“Jace why don’t you start.  That way those who have played before go last.”  Clary suggested.

Jace leaned over and swiped his card, reading it over once, twice.

_You’ve got to be kidding me._

“The options for my jelly bean are buttered popcorn…” He began.

“That sounds not good.”  Simon stated.

 “…or rotten egg.”  Jace finished.

“That sounds a little better.”  Simon was smirking at him now, leaning forward.

“So what is your answer?”  Clary questioned eagerly.

“My answer is 14 hours.”  Jace smirked a little waiting, he was not disappointed.  Magnus was smirking, Izzy had one eyebrow raised suggestively, Simon and Clary were both smiling and laughing at the sexual innuendo.

“Now you tell us the question or you eat the evil jelly bean.”  Simon informed him.

_Can’t be so bad._

Jace swiped the shot glass up and tossed it back.  He barely got it on his tongue before his body registered poison and tried dry heaving.  He jerked forward spitting it back into the glass cup.

The others burst into laughter at his discomfort.

“Did you even taste it?” questioned Simon, pointing and laughing.

Jace just hung his head over the side of the sofa willing his stomach to not empty itself on the floor, head pounding even more, nostrils burning from the damn candy.

“You can smell it!”  Jace cried irritably at Simon.

“Really?   Pass it down.”  Jace’s upset dignity registered that the vampire, the one with the best nose in the room was pretending to not know what was in each of these stupid shot glasses.

Jace shot him a glare, which just caused Simon to laugh harder, but he handed the vile cup to Izzy who took a waft of it before wrinkling her nose and passing it on to Simon.

“Magnus you go next.”  Isabelle called waving her hand in a circle to motion the direction they would all be taking their turns.

Jace coughed trying to clear the awful taste of rotten egg from his mouth, taking another swig of water.  His stomach still doing flips.

Izzy ended up spitting her jelly bean out, but was daring enough to try Clary’s when she refused to eat it.  Simon said his was a win-win since he was a vampire and his sense of taste had shifted quite a bit.

_Conniving bastard._

Magnus easily answered his question and told them what the card asked him as well.  The answers were “in Alicante.” And “Where is your ideal location to be proposed to?”

Jace tried not to think, the rune had been emitting a constant wave of heated pain now and he needed to punch something, that or follow through on the treacherous thoughts that had been plaguing him since bringing Alec home.

Jace closed his eyes briefly, willing the headache to leave him before deciding he should just go nap in his room.

“Iz.  Come wake me when the Silent Brother gets here for Alec.”  Jace instructed as he rolled off the couch, almost needing to put a hand out to stop the swaying the room gave him at the sudden movement.

“Uh no.  You aren’t leaving to sulk about Alec.  You are staying right here.  Besides I need to update you on me and Simon.”  Izzy responded back, putting a lean leg out to stop him from walking past.

_Do I really need to hear this?_

“As you know Simon and I have begun dating.”  Izzy began, flipping her black hair away from her face.

_Definitely, do not want to hear this._

“Well, I wanted to ask you.  Are you alright with it?”  Izzy asked, twisting her snake bracelet around on her arm where her whip was hidden.

That brought him up short.  Any other guy Izzy dated, she had done just that, dated.  She had never asked if either Alec or Jace were ok with any of the guys she chose.

Jace glanced around noting that they were alone and the others had moved away to towards the training rooms to watch Max show off the new runes.

_Did I fall asleep?_

“Yeah.  Yeah I’m fine with it.  He’s good for you.  Did I fall asleep?”  Jace glanced around again before looking back at Izzy’s face.  She was watching him intently.

“Yeah, you passed out about halfway through the game.  Simon was rather insulted.  I figured everything with Alec the past few days finally caught up to you.”  Izzy quietly stated, before rubbing at the snake bracelet wrapped around her wrist.  “You sure you are ok with Simon?”

“Yeah, more than fine.  Come on lets go see the last of Max’s performance before the Silent Brother arrives.”

 

O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Red.

Blood red minuscule sparks danced in front of his eyes.  Alec blinked up at the hand he had been holding over his eyes.  Moved it slightly only for the red sparks to shift and follow.

_Odd._

He wanted another dose of whatever Jace had given him at breakfast.  He could still remember the warmth that had spread through his system burning away the icy cold numbness he felt now.  Instead the cold had returned with that numbness came the thoughts.

_…I was never good enough._

_…let a demon in._

_…I said go._

He clenched his eyes shut, pressing his hands into his eyes, feeling the cold clammy skin on his face.  He needed Jace.

_Stop.  Control it._

He turned over trying to get comfortable.  They took Jonathan.  His one solace.  They took him.  And Jace...Jace had become an enigma.  An enigma he wanted and craved, made his rune burn hotly, and left his body on fire.

He sensed movement outside his cell.  Ignored it.

_Unless it’s another injection, I don’t want it._

He growled at himself.  Digging nails into his skin, reaching down and tearing at the parabati rune trying to remove it from his skin.

_Stop.  Come back to me._

The whisper filtered through his confused mind.  He glanced down at the black parabati rune.  He had dug so hard the skin was bleeding, but the black was still there.

“Oh Alexander.  You poor boy.”  Magnus’s soft voice came from the other side of the glass wall.

_Power!_

The need to drain that warlock of Edom’s magic consumed him, obliterating any other thoughts.

He launched himself at the warlock, bringing his hands up and throwing the red sparks at the glass.  It spilled from him in a fury, slamming into the glass, only to be deflected by the wards effectively annihilating his attack.

He snarled and growled.

_Kill him._

Murder was easy.  He knew how to kill.  Had been training for it his entire life.  If only he could get out of this cage.  He threw another ball of red magic at the wall, smirking when he felt the wards weaken.

“I thought you said he was in stasis.  This looks far worse than before.”  Maryse snapped.  His mother, stood beside Magnus, her back ramrod straight, hands clasped behind her back.

“His cells showed he was.”  Izzy responded with less confidence, eyes wide with fear.

“It’s the lack of most of his soul.  It makes it easy for the magic to corrupt him.  Now let me work.”  Magnus informed them calmly, blue magic spilling from his hands in an intricate electric pattern.

Blond hair caught his eyes, he snapped his entire body to face it.  Jace stood slightly behind Izzy and Maryse, when their gazes locked Alec could see him swallow, his eyes were wide.

“Come to play with me, parabati?”  Alec snarled, pacing back and forth, he grinned ferally when he watched the color drain from Jace’s face.

Only Jace did not back down, instead he walked around Magnus to stand directly in front of the glass, less than two feet from Alec.

Alec felt his face twist when the parabati rune started to heat with that uncomfortable fire that he knew would turn to pleasure and make him lose control.  He slammed his fists into the glass, screaming in rage, only to cut off abruptly.  There was a symbol scrawled across the window.

_Trap._

He leapt, throwing his body backwards only to land in the middle of another giant trap.  Magnus’s blue magic flowing into the cell creating the required network for the spell.

“Jace!  Release me!”  Jace just crossed his arms across his chest, shaking his head.  Alec felt his eyes bleed black.  “Give.  Me. Your power.”  Some distant part of him informed him that that was not his voice, but the clenched jaw from Jace was enough for Alec to latch onto it.

_A response._

“Keep him busy.”  Magnus calmly called, waving more and more blue magic through the air.

“Jonathan is with the Silent Brothers now.”  Jace told him flatly.  “You will be healed, starting today.”

That damn burning at his side would not stop.  His mind was in turmoil.  Jonathan was the one who knew.  He understood.  Jonathan was going to change and show him how to change…

He could not remember what he wanted to change, just that it needed to happen.  Something was missing.  Some intricate, vital part was missing.

_Why can’t I remember?_

His eyes locked back on Jace again.

_Parabati._

Traveled the length of Jace’s body, before landing on his side.

_Two souls._

The red magic spilling from his hands cut out sharply.  Magnus’s magic surged forward, latching into his body.  He felt darkness consume him.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Rain pattered against the window.  Jace could hear the wind lashing the building outside.  Matching the turmoil he felt inside after completing the ritual for Alec.

“Explain to me exactly why my son was throwing around magic like some warlock.”  Maryse snapped from her large desk to those assembled before her. 

They had returned to the Institute head office after the ritual was complete.  Alec had passed out halfway through it.  Every time he closed his eyes he saw the red magic wink out as Alec hit the ground.  He felt something wet slide down his side only to disappear into his black pants.

“First off, your son’s ritual was a success.  Touch and go at the start but then he let me in.  He does not understand how to harness what has been imbued in his veins.  I do.”  Magnus spoke calmly and flatly from where he was seated in the room.  Sweat had soaked through his expensive shiny shirt and his hair no longer held its usual spikes and lay flat against his skull.

_Drained of magic._

“And will you be able to perform this ritual tomorrow?  The silent brothers agreed to take Jonathan off our hands but even they refuse to bring Alec to the Silent City for treatment until he is cleansed of Edom.  We are lucky Brother Zachariah is willing to check him over after your ritual.”  There was a waver to her voice and she held her body stiffly before them.

“No.  I will need a couple days to recover.”  Magnus stated regretfully, still reclining heavily in his chair.

Jace shifted uncomfortably where he was standing, the whole ritual had been bothering him.  Alec had not looked away from him nearly the entire time until he collapsed.

“I think my blood can cure him while Magnus recovers.”  He blurted it out, before he could keep over thinking it.

Brother Zachariah pushed the door open entering, bright blue hair and dull grey robes followed by a head of red hair.  Before shutting the door behind him, leaning against it, waiting patiently.  Clary moved to stand beside Jace and Izzy.

“Izzy said it won’t work, Jace.”  Maryse dismissed, motioning for the Silent Brother to approach.

“It did.  It can.” Jace demanded, taking a step towards her.

Maryse swung her eyes back from Magnus to look at Jace again.  “And what makes you say that?”  Jace snapped his arms back behind himself him, securing his body in parade rest.

_Crap.  Not telling them about that._

“Uh, a feeling.  It’s my rune.  Something keeps telling me to do that.”

_Yeah, that was a much better choice to sound intelligent than injecting your parabati with your blood._

He felt Izzy shift beside him.  Felt Magnus’s golden cat eyes boring a hole into his head from behind him.

“I think Jace should inject Alec with his blood directly.”  Izzy spoke up, shooting Jace an odd glance.

“What?”  The chorus of voices all veered towards Izzy.  Jace’s included, because he could not have heard her correctly.

“He has potent angel blood.  I’ve been trying to create an antidote from it, but what if Jace injects Alec with his blood on the days Magnus needs to recover.  If the strain becomes too much on Jace’s body I’ll tell him to rest until his body can recover to continue.  The serum I am working on should be ready by then.”

Jace could kiss her in that moment.  She had just given him a free pass to continue his own agenda, one he had witnessed Alec respond positively from.

“You can donate one pint.  After that you need to wait about 6 weeks before I can let you donate again.  We will see how long Alec can go between injections.”  She smoothed her dress down as she stood, obviously ready to leave and continue her work.

“ _Alexander Lightwood’s body will heal by siphoning out the magic infused within.”_ The baritone of the Silent Brother’s voice reverberated in all of their heads.

The Silent Brother turned towards Jace, inclining his bright blue head.  _“Tell me Jace Herondale.  Your parabati bond, it survived your death?  It survived heavenly fire from the soul sword?”_

Jace glanced at the others in the room, unsure if the Silent Brother was speaking to them all or just him.  “Yes, that’s true.” He responded carefully, watching the others become mildly confused and regard him oddly.

_He’s speaking just to me again._

_“Both of these events should have annihilated your bond.  It did not.  I believe there is no death until you part for the two of you.  Your unique angel blood may be the cause.  Alexander’s Edom infusion has exacerbated the issue.”_

“What do you mean?”  Jace managed to keep his voice even but it came out a whisper.

_“Most of his soul rests inside your parabati rune.”_

Shock hit him hard.  He stumbled back, knees almost buckling, yanking his shirt up to check the parabati rune.  He brought his hand up wiping away the thin layer of blood that had formed during the ritual, traced it, trying to find Alec inside.

_Alec can you feel me?  Are you in there?_

The begged question brought nothing but the slow pulse and burn he had grown used to, a flicker of something else stirring.

“Jace?  Are you alright?”  It was Clary, she had moved beside him.  “You’re bleeding.”  Her gaze swung up angrily towards the Silent Brother.  “What did you do to him?”

He yanked his shirt back down, standing up straight.  “I’m fine.  He did nothing.”

Clary shot him a look of disbelief, before hardening again.  She turned to the Silent Brother, whom had raised one hand up dangerously. “You are taking Jonathan from this Institute.  Why?”

The upraised hand remained a silent threat.  Jace could feel the hum of magic in the air.  Silent Brothers were said to break minds with a thought.  _“Jonathan Morgenstern will be treated in the City of Bones.  His psychological wounds require more assistance than one Silent Brother.”_

The anger faded from Clary’s green eyes, followed by a small hope.  “Can I see him often?”

_“I will call you when Jonathan is ready.”_   Came the echoing voice in their heads again.

 

O – O - O – O – O – O

 

Magnus considered himself powerful.  He created Portals for the shadowhunters to use safely before he turned 100.  Plus he was not the High Warlock of Brooklyn for nothing.  But looking at Alexander inside the cell for the past two weeks, siphoning Edom’s magic into the orb the Spiral Labyrinth had provided upon his request and a few favors, he felt weak.

Magnus thought it would take a week at most to siphon off the magic into the orb without killing Alec.  Instead the fight had drawn out for two weeks with no end in sight.  Two weeks that Alec had proven he did not want to let go of the power, fighting and pulling at Magnus’s own magical core each time he performed the ritual.  It was exhausting.

_But I’m anything if not stubborn._

Magnus completed pouring the black powder along the floor finishing the required symbol for the siphon.  It looked similar to the demonic summoning ritual but had swirls and hints of angelic writing within, it would match the one his power was going to remake in Alec’s cell in a moment.  He placed the vial back in his black blazer, rolled his sleeves up, before snapping his fingers and snapping his arms up summoning forth his power in a blue burst of electricity.  Only then did he look at Alec.

Alec crouched in his cell, prison really, watching with a predatory gaze and expression Magnus had come to expect each time he did this.  Magnus’s blue magic already forming the symbol along the floor, as it completed he could see the snarl forming, feel the tension in his own magic as it collided with Alec’s.  He took a breath and began the silent tug of war directing what he gained into the orb in front of him that sat in the black symbol on the floor.

_It starts out white._

The other warlocks had informed him that the orb could hold two greater demons magic with ease and should only shift to a grey color, if it turned red…

_Bring it back._

Magnus stomped a foot down in front of him, reaching down with his arms, before pulling his body upright, gritting his teeth, yanking as much of Alec’s power with him.  Alec bared his teeth bracing his hands against the ground.

Magnus dropped his glamour, yellow glittery cat eyes shining bright.

_Can’t waste the effort._

“This would be easier Alexander if you would let the magic go.”  Magnus grit out.

“Not happening.” He bit back.

_Same conversation as last time then._

Magnus searched Alexander’s right arm, the blackness from Edom covered it.  His eyes pinpointed the angelic runes both Jonathan and Jace had placed on the arm when Alec had first been brought in.  The removal of Jonathan from the cell after the brutal fight had an unexpected backlash none of them could have foreseen.  The boy had been right.  Even with a broken jaw he demanded to be placed back in the horrible cell with Alec, begged Clary and Jace to draw the angelic runes over Alec’s veins each hour.  No one had truly listened.  Instead they had sent Jonathan to the Silent Brother who had informed them Jonathan had no demonic taint and he could face the Soul Sword to begin his rehabilitation.

Magnus kept his eyes locked on Alec not giving away the position of Izzy and Clary.  He had overruled Jace’s demand far in advance with a deliberate attack on the blond’s ego and informed him Alec would still sense him a mile away.

Alec lashed out at Magnus harshly, even with the cell wards and the spell Magnus could feel the deadliness in the attack.  The desire to kill.

_I’m losing you._

“You are becoming an evil maniacal piece of shit Alexander.  Keep this up and Edom’s magic will corrupt what is left of your soul.”  Magnus’s barb clearly did not dig deep when Alec just smiled, red magic sparking from his hands.

“Counting on it.” He said belligerently.

Izzy gave the signal to Clary and both moved.  Izzy lashed her whip out to wrap around Alec’s arm and torso, while Clary fired off the equivalent of a stun gun into Alec through the food port.

Magnus felt more than saw Alec’s shock, took full advantage of it and weaved a spell forcing him to sleep.  He did not drop the constant tug of war on Alec’s magic and as soon as Alec was asleep it eased up.

“Isabelle!  Inject him now!  That spell won’t keep him asleep long.”  Magnus commanded, arms still out stretched pulling the dark red magic from Alec.

Isabelle was already in motion even as he spoke, dropping to a knee beside her brother and slamming the serum she had made from Jace’s blood into her brother.

Magnus felt the change in the silent battle instantly.  It felt like a battering ram had just hit Alec’s magic, smashing it to bits, letting Magnus catch a tighter hold on what he wanted to remove.  A second later he realized everything was about to spiral out of control.

_That’s more magic than just two greater demons._

With a quick spiral of his hands Magnus starting pouring as much of the magic as he could into that orb watching as it started to pulse red.

_Not good._

He flung one hand out to the side splitting the power pouring from the unconscious form, holding onto the part he recognized as Asmodeus, directing the rest into the orb.

Izzy had managed to get out of the room quickly enough, Clary yelling to Magnus that they were clear.

Magnus kept the spell active, watching as the orb turned a brighter and brighter red.  Alec’s body arched and seized but remained unconscious.

At first Magnus did not notice it, his entire focus still on the glowing red orb attempting to gauge when to cut the spell short, but he did catch it.  He felt a weak pull in the magic from Alec.  Not to tear the magic away, but to push it towards him.  Then it switched like a tide, hauling on Magnus’s own essence viciously.  He felt the sweat slide down his face as he attempted to maintain control of the spell.  Took a breath and cut it short.

The bright blaze of blue magic and the inferno of red inside the cell dying out.  Leaving sparks of white across his eyes.

“What happened?  Did it work?”  Clary’s unsure voice filtered in from the side where she and Isabelle still stood.

Magnus’s yellow cat eyes flickered to the side searching out the red head and the dark haired girls, assessing that neither were hurt.

“Oh it worked.  Spectacularly.  Alec just has more than two greater demon blasts stuck in his body and whatever it is does not want to leave easily.  But the serum helped immensely, I felt Alexander for just a moment.”

Magnus eyed the glowing red orb.   It had melted the floor around it, pulsing with the infernal light within.

_The Spiral Labyrinth has warlocks that can shift the dark magic into something natural._

With a wave of blue magic he scooped it up, hovering it in the air before him.  “I will be taking this.  Maybe deliver it to one of Neptune’s moons perhaps.  Unless Jace wants to be a guinea pig and I can neutralize this with him.”

“I think Jace has done enough donating of blood lately.  I caught him sneaking some of it into Alec’s drinks when he informed me it was too dangerous to go in there.”  Izzy waved her hand helplessly at her brother, silver snake bracelet glinting.

_Pity.  Would have been easier controlling the orb myself._

Magnus banished the glowing orb to a secure location until he could deliver it to those he trusted in the Spiral Labyrinth.

“Well, he’ll need a few more of those remarkable orbs.  But we are on the right track.  Bring Jace down here to see him.”  Magnus brought his glamour back up over his eyes, sighed and turned to fully face Isabelle. “Just don’t let them touch.”

At the strange command Isabelle gave him a confused and stunned look before something dawned across her face.  “Okay.”

“I’ll go get him.”  Clary happily obliged moving off to the elevator and heading up.

Magnus glanced back at the unconscious form in the cell.  Twisting the engagement ring on his finger silently.

“Magnus?”  Izzy put an arm around him in a half hug.  “We’ll get him back.”

_I already lost him._

Magnus pulled the engagement ring off his finger, turning so that Izzy’s arm fell from his shoulder.  “I need you to return this to Maryse.”  He pressed the ring into her hand, closing it for her.

Izzy face went slack in confused shock.  “What?  Magnus, Alec loves you.  He asked you to marry him.  He went to Edom for you and broke you out.  Alone.”  She handed the ring back.

Magnus did not move to take it, turning his head watching the unconscious form of Alexander.

“The Alexander I loved.  His soul is not fully there.  I fell in love with him, his whole soul, yet what is left does not recognize me.” He whispered.

“So you are just going to leave?”  Izzy’s confused anger was starting to rise in her eyes, she kept her hand out.

“Make no mistake Isabelle.  I still love him.  I will be here until this ritual in complete.  But his soul, it’s broken.  He’s surviving because of Jace.  When he does awake he will be sent to the Silent Brothers to become one of them.”

“You don’t know that for certain.”  Izzy whispered back.

“I do.  Alec should have died.  He’s alive because of the parabati bond.  And I will not hold Alexander to a promise he may not be able to keep.”  Magnus calmly explained.

“Let Alec decide that when he is fully healed.”  Izzy insisted still holding the engagement ring out awkwardly, arm wavering unsure.

Magnus irritably waved his hand at the mess on the floor repairing it in a blue flash before turning on his heels and marching out.  The elevator doors pinged open to reveal red and blond hair.  Clary and Jace scurried past in some argument regarding sending letters to Jonathan.  Magnus could not bring himself to care, just stepped inside the elevator, determined to get through this day and go home.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Clack.  Clack.  Clack.

The sounds of the training staffs reverberated through the training room.  It was partially darkened to help replicate the nighttime fighting conditions, large runes tiled into the floors and along the walls serving as reminders of various abilities.  On one side stood an array of practice weapons and training dummies.  Jace was currently instructing Clary and Simon.  Simon as part of Alec’s downworlder program that Lydia had upheld since taking over four weeks ago.  Clary because he still could not find it in himself to train with her alone again.

_Four weeks and still can’t remove that kiss from my head._

It took four weeks of Izzy turning his blood into serums and Magnus’s ritual before Edom’s essence was driven from Alec.  Jace was left uncertain about the warlock, whom Izzy had informed him had returned the engagement ring at some point.  The only thing that was certain was training and missions.  Jace had thrown himself into every demon hunting mission he was allowed.  Buried himself in training himself and others when he was not because the moment he slowed down his rune would pulse and that memory came back again and again.  Missions he could not perform every hour of the waking day, training however he could.  It let his mind blank long enough to not feel the need to curl up outside Alec’s cell, reducing the irritable desire.

“Would you stop hitting me so hard?”  Simon gasped, attempting and failing to avoid another strike that smacked into his shoulder from Jace’s staff.

“Move faster then.” Jace coached him with another jab towards Simon’s legs, before swiftly spinning and deflecting the attack coming from Clary, easily rolling her staff to the side making the attack to his back harmless.

“You told me _not_ to use vamp speed.”  The dark haired boy complained, rubbing at his shoulder.

“Jace!  You need to give us a chance.”  Clary appeared less annoyed at getting hit with a stick than Simon.

Jace threw the staff across one shoulder directing its point easily. “Two against one.  This should be easy guys.”  Pointed the staff at Simon.  “Vampire.”  He shifted the staff to point at Clary.  “You being you.” 

“Do all shadowhunters beat each other with sticks or are you just trying to stake me?”  Inquired Simon before he rushed to try another attack at Jace.

“Just trying to keep your pretty face from bruising.”  Jace grinned back, deflecting the blow.

“Aww.  You still think I’m pretty.”

Jace’s smile dropped from his face.

_I’m not going to answer that._

Clary chose that moment to try a new attack having circled around Jace.  Jace rolled the staff along his shoulders, twisting slightly, and was satisfied with the loud crack as the two staffs met.  Clary smirked up at him before launching into a whirling attack that forced Jace back.

“Almost had you.”  The red head smirked, green eyes dancing.

Izzy’s dark head poked through the entrance to the training room.  “Guys, Brother Zachariah is here to see if Alec can be released into the Institute.”  Izzy called.

Clary’s staff struck Jace across the face – hard.  He spun with the blow stunned more from Izzy than the actual hit before quickly regaining his feet.

_Alec._

There went all his carefully crafted walls to obliterate the fights and heat that had formed since the disaster.  Because that is what he had named it in his head, The Disaster.  It had upended everything he had with Clary.

“Haha!  One of us got you!”  Simon exclaimed excitedly, high fiving Clary.

“Max you still have to remain up here.”  Izzy informed her youngest brother who had clearly been walking with her, patting him on the top of his brown head which he batted away in annoyance.

“I’m old enough.  I found him!  Why can’t I see him?  It’s been weeks.”  He tried to sound calm but a slight whine was still detectable.

“Hey Max.  I wasn’t even allowed near him at times when Magnus was working on him.”  Jace told him.  He hated those days with a vengeance, but it did the trick on Max.  He relented and headed off to his assigned duty for the day.

 

O – O – O – O – O

 

The next few minutes felt like a blur and an eternity to Jace.  The sitting around waiting for Brother Zachariah to finish talking to Maryse and Magnus in the Head of the Institutes office.  Jace paced, he twirled his stele, he rubbed at the rune, and all his mind could bring forth was what it felt like the last few times he had touched Alec and the demonic black eyes staring at him.  He had not seen Alec in two weeks.

Jace slammed a fist into the wall he was pacing beside causing everyone in the hallway to jump.  Breath blowing out hard, he tried shaking his head to clear it.  Simon and Izzy looked at him with concern.  Clary just rolled her eyes, their arguments had only been increasing the past month centered on Jace’s refusal to touch or even hug her.  He knew he needed to fix whatever was wrong with his head and talk to her, but could not seem to focus enough.

“Jace, he will get released.  Magnus would not suggest bringing a Silent Brother here to analyze Alec if he was not certain he would be.”  Izzy tried to comfort him.  He tried for a wane smile that did not reach his eyes.

Maryse arrived with the Silent Brother a few minutes later.  Bright blue spiked hair and bland grey robes, Brother Zachariah still did not look like your typical Silent Brother.  Magnus was conspicuously absent.

“Only Isabelle, myself, and Jace will be allowed on the cell block while Brother Zachariah does his test.”  Maryse announced, back straighter than normal if that was possible. 

Once crammed into the elevator she kept trying to move an invisible piece of hair from her face on the way down to the cell.  Jace kept his arms crossed and refused to fidget.

Finally.  Finally they were before Alec’s cell.  Jace knew what to expect visually.  The demonic black eyes no longer shown, the Edom runes on his back had faded to nothing but scars, the right arm healed but for faint traces of black along Alec’s veins that Magnus had informed them would probably remain the rest of his life.  A scar to show how close he had come to being consumed by Edom’s magic.  But his nerves still felt frayed.  Magnus had stopped allowing Jace to be present during the rituals and would only allow Jace to see his parabati after each ritual was complete.  The violence and passion Alec had displayed early on had become a strange predatory dance every time Jace was in the room to deliver an injection or food.  Jace made certain that they never touched when others were around.  Which was not hard, all he had to do was not go in the cell.  Yet Alec was supposed to be better now, his rune still pulsed and burned lowly making him question that.

_His soul rests inside your parabati rune._

Jace watched Alec stand warily from the floor where he had been doing pushups as the group approached.  Alec shifted his stance into parade rest, brown eyes straight forward.

Jace applied his stele to the door to allow Brother Zachariah through the first set of doors.  Then again on the second set.

_“Jace Herondale, remain here.”_   Brother Zachariah ordered him before entering into the cell.  Leaving Jace to stand in the empty chamber in a mix of relief and anxiety.

He could hear the whispered responses from Alec regarding whatever the Silent Brother asked him but could not make them out.  Could briefly make out a comment from Maryse saying “that is the truth.” Another from Izzy yelling “You can’t do that!  He did his best!”

The door swung open and he was there.  Dark, messy hair, skin pale, and his eyes were brown.

Jace bolted from his spot towards Alec engulfing him in a tight hug.  Alec’s body tensed before he returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Jace.  Relief, Alec was alright.  He had beaten becoming Endarkened or whatever it was Edom’s magic was attempting to do.

“You’re back.” He choked out, even as his parabati rune flared to life, the moment it did Alec pushed him away.

_“Decide between the two Alexander Gideon Lightwood.  I will be awaiting your decision.”_ The Silent Brother stated through their heads for all to hear.

Alec exited stiffly out to Maryse and Izzy where Izzy hugged his rigid body.  Maryse wrapped an arm around her children whispering happily, “Alec you beat this.  You made me so proud.  No one else has accomplished what you have done.”

_“Alexander Lightwood shall continue to heal physically within the walls of the New York Institute.  The hellish magic of Edom has been expelled from his body.”_   The blue haired Silent Brother commanded them, standing oddly still in his grey robes.  _“Ensure he does not relapse.”_   With that the Silent Brother left them.

Jace felt stunned.  Alec barely acknowledged him.  They were parabati.

_What did I miss?_

“Bet you want a normal shower and an actual bed.”  Izzy smiled up at her brother, her arm latched around his waist.  He did not push her off, like he had done Jace.

_I thought I had you back._

It was never like this.  It had always been Alec following Jace.  He was Jace’s backup.  Alec was always there to ensure Jace did not get himself killed on a mission.  Alec was always there to pick up the broken pieces of Jace for him when shit hit the fan. 

Jace stared at Alec’s back as the two siblings walked away.  Alec turned his head and looked back at Jace.  Brown eyes locked with heterochromia and Jace felt that familiar heat pool inside him.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The warm shower water felt glorious.  One full month of nothing but cold sponge baths and a concrete floor had left his body an aching mess.  Alec bowed his head further under the spray, letting it stream down his body just to enjoy the warmth.

_I’m never leaving here._

That thought unfortunately brought back one of two choices the Silent Brother had given him.

_“Remain within the confines of the Institute, for life.”_

His fist clenched on the shower handle in front of him.  He had thought he was finally escaping the torturous grasp of being firstborn.  The pressure to uphold all the values his parents had demanded of him.  The pressures of being the Head of the Institute and all those lives under his command.  The pressure of always making the hard decisions for those around him.  Although he was no longer certain where he belonged in the Institute anymore.

That pressure that had enveloped his body and mind for a month.  He ran a hand across his face, closing his eyes, a spark of red crossed his minds eye.  Remembered power.

_Cut the thought._

Alec took a breath, turning the water hotter until it was nearly unbearable, letting the heat push the memory of the raging magic out of his mind.  The insanity of the need to be near Jace however intensified.

He grimaced to himself, Jace and that body.  That need had not stopped with the removal of Edom’s magic.  If he closed his eyes he could feel it, he could picture what it was like to have that body pressed to him.  He dropped a hand lower, drawing it down his stomach.  One month of this need with no release.

_Fuck.  Yes._

A pounding on the door broke him out of his trance slightly.  “Big Brother!  We know it’s been awhile but are you even alive?  It’s been like two hours.”  Izzy’s voice pierced through the haze he had been drawing himself into.

_Go away._

Jace and Izzy were directly on the other side of the door.  He had already stood under the shower long enough to prune, but he did not care.  He slid his hand across himself, groaning softly.  Tilting his head back.  Letting a forbidden memory surface.

_SLAM!_

Alec’s eyes flew open.

The door to the bathroom flew open violently, followed by a blond who looked like he had just kicked the door in.

“What the fuck!  Get out!”  Alec yelled at them.

Jace did not move immediately.  He stood frozen to the spot.  Alec glared daggers through the opaque curtain at where he knew Jace stood.

“Well, he’s alive.” Came Izzy’s voice still outside the bathroom.  “If you had answered, Jace would not have gone into an apocalyptic fit.”

Alec yanked the dial to ice cold, willing his body to calm down.  His heartbeat continued galloping away and he put his hands on the wall trying to shove the desire down.

“Just give me five minutes.  I’ll be out in a second.”  Alec growled hoarsely at them.

_I just wanted peace.  Five minutes of peace._

He gave himself a few more seconds to continue calming his body down before reaching out and shutting the water off.  Stareing at his hand a moment noting the black veins traveling up it faintly.  A towel smacked into his head and shoulder.

“Figured you wouldn’t want to flash us.”  Jace commented from the other side of the shower curtain.

“What are you still doing in here?”  Alec growled back.

“Making sure you didn’t drown.”

Alec wrapped the towel around himself and shoved the curtain aside.  “I didn’t.”

“Could have fooled us.  It’s been two hours.” There was real concern in Jace’s voice.

Alec brought his eyes up to Jace and felt his breath catch.  Jace was leaning casually against the vanity with a sweatshirt half zipped up and no shirt.  When his eyes found Jace’s he felt a blast of desire punch through his body.

_Jace…_

His brain did not seem to want to work.  He just stared at Jace, ignoring the rivulets of water running off his body or the towel that had loosened in his grip but did not fall.

“Can I see them?”  Jace asked.

_What?_

Alec remained locked in place.  The direction his brain had headed at the simple request had dive bombed into a heady hot blaze.  Brain still unable to process what Jace was asking him Alec prowled towards Jace.  He watched as Jace’s eyes widened with some unknown emotion.

“Alec?”

Alec swallowed, stopping less than a foot from Jace.  Breathe coming too harshly.

Every time Jace came close – what he did to him.

Alec yanked his gaze away from Jace, stepping away trying to put distance between them.  Grabbing another towel to dry before heading into his room to get dressed.

“Izzy, get out.  I want to get dressed without you two all over me.”  He growled yanking his clothes out of the drawer with more force than necessary.

Izzy shot Jace an indecipherable look before she headed out the door, “We’ll catch up tomorrow Alec.  You catch up with Jace tonight.”

The door closed and with it his sanity.

_Control it._  

Alec closed his eyes, yanking a shirt over his head.  Jace was leaning against the doorjamb to the bathroom but Alec could swear he could feel the body heat from where he stood halfway across the room.  Alec reached up with one hand, tugging at his damp black hair trying to ground himself in the slight pain.

A hand touched his shoulder and Alec acted out of reflex, slamming his elbow back where it connected with a warm, solid body before twisting reaching out only to freeze halfway through the maneuver.

“Jace?”

“Still here.”  Jace rubbed absently at his solar plexus, blue and brown searching Alec for something.

Alec’s brow furrowed in mild confusion “What did you ask before?”

“The demon marks.  I want to see them.”   Jace requested softly, something in that voice Alec had never heard from Jace before and he found himself nodding.

Jace pointed at the bed indicating for Alec to lay down.  Heat sparked through him, the embers from earlier begging to restart in a blaze.

Alec slowly lay down on his stomach exposing his back for Jace to examine.  He pillowed his arms and buried his face there intent on controlling the burning need.

Jace’s fingers skimmed across his back slowly, like he was committing something to memory.

“What did they do?”  Jace whispered from above him.

“Pure air, Blood Replenishment, and Stamina.”  Alec felt Jace’s hands fan out to rub across his shoulders slowly.  “The pure air I had to sacrifice my voice for a little bit.  Stamina was affected after Edom’s souls were released.  I could not move for a couple days.”

_Not until Jonathan brought me blood._

“And blood replenishment?”  Jace continued to run his hands across Alec’s back, sweeping down to his sides occasionally.  It was causing the need to get worse but he did not want it to stop.

“Blood.  I needed blood.”  The hands stilled on his back for a moment before sliding down his sides again.  He bit back a moan, twisting his head to bury it in the pillow.

“I needed you to back.  Why didn’t you just call?” his softly spoken question made Alec’s gut clench with emotion.

_You called.  I felt it with every fiber of my being._

The thought had Alec’s breath catching hard.  Entire body shaking with need.

_Control it._

“I need you to leave.”  Alec managed to choke out, before biting back a groan when Jace straddled his lower back with his knees continuing to trace patterns on his back.

The observation that Jace normally was not this physical with him unless fighting swirled away under his hands.  He tried shifting subtly just to ease some of the growing pressure off, controlled his breathing to take one breath in slowly.  Mind sinking into remembered kisses rather than the conversation.

“Nope.  You’re shaking.  And I’m not leaving.  I told you this.  Where you go, I go.”  Jace’s head dropped onto his back, breathe softly ghosting across his skin, before Jace’s hand slid up to one shoulder slowly before stopping just resting there.

Alec dropped his eyes half closed turning his head to peer back at Jace, struggling not to react.

“I’m here now.  Aren’t I?” Alec said, reaching for his blank mask he usually kept in place around Jace.  Floundered when he could not find it.  Feeling Jace’s hands dig into his neck instead before sliding down his arms.

“When you were in that cell, you weren’t.  You were unhinged, you were like some desperate howling demon, and I couldn’t reach you.”  Breath ghosted across Alec’s back as he spoke.

_You reached me._

“I still can’t feel you.”

Alec twisted enough so he was half on his side, towel still in place.  “You see this?”  He took Jace’s hand and ran it across the parabati rune on his own side.  Heat blasted through the ice that Alec normally felt in their shared rune most days.

_Fuck…_

If only Jace understood just how much he felt him, how much the need drove him insane in that cell, how it still pulsed through him with an aching demand.

He felt Jace shift off his back to lay beside him in the bed, heat radiating from him in waves.  He felt the pillow get pulled out from under his arms where he had buried half his face.

“I see you.  I can’t feel you.”  Something in the way Jace said those words had Alec searching the blue and brown eyes, finding something shifting in them that he knew must be part of a dream.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The vampire lair stank of death and rot.

Blood streaked the black floors and the once blue walls now were splattered in grey dust and gore.  Several piles of dust scattered throughout the room in vague human outlines served as the reminders of what took place prior.

Jace, Izzy, Simon, and Clary were only in the first room of the lair.  They had yet to venture deeper.

“I think I might puke.”  Clary whispered.

“What happened here?”  Simon’s vampire nose wrinkled up in distaste at the carnage around him.  Apparently, requiring blood for a living still did not change his squeamishness about gore.

_This mission is going to be a mess._

Jace’s eyes went from vampire corpse to vampire corpse.  Each one appeared to be drained of blood, leaving behind the dusty husk that was slowly collapsing in on itself.  He inched forward, keeping low to the ground, seraph blade in his hand but deactivated.

“Izzy can you tell how long these have been dead.  Er, more dead.” Jace whispered, eyes scanning the room trying to probe past the darkness.

“It’s hard to tell with all the blood missing, but based on the severity of vampire decay.  I’d guess about a month.”  Izzy crept over to one of the vampire corpses closer to her.  Waving her stele across her arm to etch a “breathing under duress” rune before touching it.  It fell apart in a puff.

_Shit._

Whatever had destroyed these vampires had ample time to set up traps or worse laid demon eggs.

Something further in the building made a slow grinding sound, before silence fell once more.  Broken only by the random flickers of Clary’s seraph blade as she moved forward to stand near Jace.

“Izzy, Simon take the door on the left.  Circle around the building see what you find.  Clary with me.”  Jace spoke it quietly, just barely loud enough for Clary to hear, relying on Simon’s vampire hearing to pass the order to Izzy.  He did with a touch and a whisper before the two slowly moved towards the other door.

Jace motioned to Clary to stay behind him as they started to scope out their side of the building.  Moving to the next room carefully, blade up but deactivated.  The last thing he needed was to alert any enemies to his presence if he could avoid it.

“Think whatever killed the Coven is still here after a month?” Questioned Clary.  She kept her seraph blade lit, light still bouncing erratically around the room as she moved and trembled.

“If it’s a demon, definitely.  Once they find a lair they tend to stay there.  I just don’t know of any demon that hunts vampires for blood.  It’s usually mundanes or Nephilim.”  Jace eyed a chunk of flesh that hung from what looked like cages.  The stench of rot was intensifying the closer he moved to the cages.

“Oh my god.”  Clary whispered, hand coming up to cover her mouth.

There appeared to be ten humanoid corpses in the cells, all decomposing, bloated and filled with flies.  The only thing Jace could tell that was odd about each corpse was that the chest cavity appeared to have been punched straight through.

Jace moved to the next door.  Reaching out a hand to swing it open when the door blasted itself off its hinges instead, slamming into him and throwing him and the door to the floor.  Whatever had blasted the door open landed on top of the door and Jace squeezing the remaining air from his lungs in a whoosh.

Jace scrambled to gain purchase on the door to lever the weight off his chest.  Thanking the angel he did not require a stele to activate runes like any other Shadowhunter, activating his strength rune with a thought.  Only to discover he could not lift it.

_Damn it._

He pointed his seraph blade at the door, activating it and slammed it upward through the door.  Whatever was on the other side let out a shriek and the crushing weight left his chest.  Jace heaved the door off his body, coughing.  Rolling to a stand just as Clary slashed her blade across the monster’s dark eyes.  It shrieked again and thrashed.  It was massive.  Its reptilian body had actually gotten stuck in the doorway Jace had been about to open, the part that had been crushing him now thrashed and clawed at them with long arms filled with sharp nails.  Goo was forming under its body, goop that was starting to melt the floor.

Jace lashed out quickly, lunging past Clary to chop part of one arm off followed by a swift stab to the things neck.  Wrapping both hands in a better grip on his seraph blade he dragged it down through its neck and into the monsters gut.  It stopped thrashing and lay still.

The floor gave way taking the monster with it forcing both Jace and Clary to jump and roll out of the way.

_“Jace, Clary.  You copy?  Simon and I found something in the lower level.”_  Izzy’s voice crackled across the short range comm.

“Yeah.  You run into anything alive?”  Because Jace had no idea what to classify the beast in front of him as.  Especially, since it did not vaporize as most demons would.

“No.  We found a ritual room.  We think it’s a rogue warlock perhaps.”

_Would explain the mean beastie._

“Alright we are on our way.  Our path is blocked anyway, so we’ll loop back around and take the one you took.”

“Affirmative.”

Upon reaching Izzy and Simon, Jace could see why they figured it was a warlock.  Giant summoning circles were all over the place.  The room was covered in blood.  In fact he could not see anything but red blood and black ichor across the floor and walls, all flowing towards one location in the center of the room where what looked like a chrysalis stood shimmering darkly in red.

_Shit._

Jace felt the instinctual dread forming in his body, but training kicked in easily letting his rational brain override instinct.  He circled around the chrysalis preparing to drive the seraph blade through it when he paused.  It was open.  Nothing was inside, but for some red goop.

_Fucking hell._

“Get down!”  He ordered the others just as one side of the room exploded inwards.  He was forced back away from the others as the wave of snarling demons swept through the room.  He could see Izzy and Clary fighting with their whips and blades, couldn’t find Simon, but was forced to look away to skewer two demons that had tried flanking him.

He spun his blade into a reverse to stab another, spinning and slashing his way through the wave.  Strength blossomed through his body when he activated more of his runes with another thought.  He almost grinned when his next attack sliced through three demons instead of just one.

_One to the left.  Four to the right._

Jace found himself moving to dispatch each one.

_Two above you._

Jace rolled out of the way as one dropped where he had been standing, spinning his blade erect as the other demon dropped directly onto the blade in a screech.

_MOVE!_

Jace kicked off the current demon-beast, deactivating his seraph blade to remove it from the body, reactivating it as he came down in a crouch a few feet away slicing through another limb.  Hacking its head half off.

Silence.  Except his own panting breathe.  His eyes snapped towards where he had last seen the others.  The three were facing off with one more demon, backs to each other.  Several more demon-beasts lay scattered near them, hindering their movements, with their dead bulk.

Izzy’s whip lashed around the demon-beasts neck pulling taut.  Clary drew her sunlight rune and blasted it to bits.  It was all over in moments.

“You guys alright?”  Jace asked vaulting over one of the ginormous demon-beasts bodys.

“Yeah still in one piece.”  Izzy said, moving her sweat dampened hair out of her face.

“Face isn’t bruised yet.”  Chimed Simon, he looked like might have a bruise on his jaw.

“What the hell kind of warlock does this?  Magnus needs to be told.”  Clary sounded vaguely fearful.  For all that she had been through her heart seemed incapable of realizing just how nasty the Shadowworld could get.

“First, let’s return to the Institute.  I want us all to get checked out by the medics for infection.  Far too much ichor and blood in here and I know all of us have scrapes.”  Jace pointed at the chrysalis.  “Then we tell Magnus about that.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The medic set all their blood samples on her desk.  Turning back to the four sitting on their assigned beds with a stern look all medics seem to carry.  The smell of antiseptic permeated the air.  White crisp sheets on the four beds each of them had been assigned too.

“Well, I will run the blood samples.  But based on preliminary findings you all have nothing to worry about.  Simon will need to get some blood in him that we cannot provide here.  You are all free to go, you notice any infections beginning return to the infirmary.”  With that the medic swept up the samples and left to head to the lab or her next patient.

“I don’t really feel like eating after seeing that much blood.” Simon claimed, rubbing his arms in a shudder.

Jace quirked an eyebrow. “The vampire that survives off blood, doesn’t want to be around blood?”

“It’s not that.  It just smelled so wrong.  Cold.  Burning.  Like something got zapped but was frozen first.”  At everyone’s blank, confused expressions Simon sighed. “It’s really hard to describe.  It would probably be like you explaining how burning yourselves with runes feels good rather than morbid.”

“That’s because it does feel good.  You gain power from that rune, you get used to the pain.”  Jace informed him.

“I gain power from blood.  Doesn’t mean I enjoy the source of it.” Simon shot back, before his face twisted into some inner realization.  “Oh.  Nevermind.  I think I get it now.”

“Medic says your mission went sideways, slightly.  What happened?”  Alec’s deep voice sounded from the door as he strode in, coming to a stop before Jace.  Jace swallowed hard, hands gripping the white sheets.

Waking up beside Alec that morning, he had felt better than he had in months.  The fact Alec had not kicked him out but allowed him to stay spoke volumes about how he must be feeling after the cure to Edom.

Alec’s dark brown eyes continued to stare down at Jace in silent demand waiting for an explanation.

“Rogue warlock, we think.  Lair was pretty ugly.”  Jace wrapped it up simply.

Alec’s gaze flickered up towards the ceiling briefly.  “Where was this lair located?”

Jace told him, watched as Alec’s body froze for a moment, too short for anyone to notice.

“Brother Zachariah and Magnus will be providing me a charm so I can continue going on missions soon.  You don’t go back to that lair until then.”  Alec ordered, hand moving to point at all of them.  “Jace, Izzy, I want you both down in the training hall after your write your reports.  I need to see where I am at after a month off.”   He marched off without another glance.

“Uh…”  Simon started, rubbing at his nose, probably burning from the warlock’s lair and the antiseptic in the infirmary.

“Come on Simon let’s go get you some food at the Hunter’s Moon.”  Clary said, hopping off her bed and grabbing his hand.  She shot Jace an annoyed look on her way out.

_She never gives up._

Jace ran a hand over his face sighing.  That mess he still had no idea what to do with.

“Jace.  Break up with her.”  Izzy said as she walked over, patting him on the arm, before sitting down next to him.

“What?  Iz, I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I was in love with her.  I did everything for her.  Defied the Clave, defied Maryse, I abandoned Alec for her.”  He took a breath realizing he had risen his voice at some point.

_Besides we’re technically taking a break._

“Past tense.  Jace, the two of you went through a lot, but did you ever think perhaps you need to be apart and just learn to be you again?  You were possessed by the Owl for weeks.  She had that twinning rune to deal with.  The psychological trauma of that has to have done something.  Break up with her.  Sort yourselves out and if you still love her.  Get back together.”

Jace’s gut clenched, a spike of pain blasted through his head, followed by panic that he had no control over his limbs.

_He’s begging me.  Begging me not to do this._

He jerked an arm.  It moved.

Relief hit just as quickly as the panic had set in.  Heart still pounding rapidly in his chest, air filling his lungs again.

“Yeah, maybe I should.”

_Safe, bland response._

She appeared not to have noticed his panic, gave him a quick hug before saying something about mission reports and training before heading out herself.

Jace followed her to do the same.  Moving each individual finger just to make sure he could as he did.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The training room was silent except for the zing for each arrow as it sliced through the air impaling itself in the multi colored target on the other side of the room.  Alec brought the silver bow up, drawing the arrow feeling the red fletching just brush against his cheek.  Breathe out, he let go of the arrow, letting his arm pull back to wrap around another, watching as the first slammed into the middle of the target joining several others he had already placed there.

The usual peace that would come from firing arrow after arrow never arrived as he had hoped.  Instead, the itch that had been in his body since seeing that nurse draw Jace’s blood had remained.  He refused to explain to himself why he took one of the two vials, now hidden in his room.  His body felt frozen.  Ever since Jace had left, sometime in the morning before he had woken up, the cold had silently slipped back in.  Parabati rune icing over and itching with heat at the same time.

He wanted to talk to Jonathan.  The ex-demonic red head had become a twisted, needed friend in the short time they had spent together.

“Appears you have gotten better since your stint in lockup.”  Jace called as he strode in, heading directly to the practice weapons. 

Alec noted the black form fitting shirt Jace wore, letting his eyes briefly travel along the contours of muscle before pulling his gaze to the weapons Jace was selecting.  Two swords, then a third sword, and a fourth.

Alec gently placed the bow and quiver down near the wall, safely out of the way.  Feeling tension bleed through his body as the familiar pull towards Jace began.

_Don’t let it take over this time._

Jace tossed him two of the swords, both he caught easily.  Jace just raised an eyebrow in silent challenge.

“Ready to get your ass kicked?”  Jace challenged an old, familiar banter to their usual sparring, charged with something more.

Alec could recall each time they fought since he left Edom and the heat that had poured through his body like lava by the end of each clash as well.  He tightened his jaw determined to act normal.  The Edom infection he could use as an excuse for his actions.  He had no excuse now.

_The vial will take the edge off._

With that small comfort in his mind he turned to face Jace.

“Whenever you’re ready.”  Alec challenged back.

Jace barely hesitated before delivering the first attack.  Jumping towards him with a quick downward thrust of the sword that Alec easily parried.  Sent a second attack before Alec could regain his balance completely, forcing him to dodge and retreat.

Adrenaline spiked through Alec.  Jace must have activated a speed rune, because Alec found he barely had time to deflect each blow.  Retreating across the room quickly.  When his back hit the wall, cornered, he dropped one of his blades grabbing Jace’s to launch himself into the air, spinning to come down with enough force to break the sword out of Jace’s grip.  It clattered to the ground.

Jace smirked at Alec now that Alec had successfully reversed their positions, leaving Jace with his back to the wall.

Jace launched another overhead attack with the sword, Alec easily locked the weapons together above their heads.  Sliding them against each other until they pointed to the ground.  Alec broke away only to quickly lunge back at Jace feeling the hard metal connect again as Jace deflected it to the side.  With both blades deflected to the side Alec raised a leg up and kicked Jace hard in the stomach sending him backwards into the wall.  Watching as the blond head smacked into the wall once before Jace recovered.

“Always have to play rough, don’t you?”  Jace’s heterochromia eyes were alight from adrenaline the fight brought him.

Alec felt a spike through his side, feeling ice and heat at the same time.

_Not now._

Jace must have seen a drop in his defenses, he lunged forward bringing the blade low and swiping up high.  Alec deflected the attack, realizing too late that Jace had already spun around and now had the cold blade pressed against Alec’s side.

“Got you.”  Jace smiled, truly smiled.  Tapping his blade against Alec’s side.  “Come on Alec, this is way too easy.”  Blue and brown eyes danced with excitement.

That incessant urge grew into a primal need.

Alec growled low in his throat, opting to take a more direct approach to that need.  He swung his fist into Jace’s face as hard as he could letting the practice blade crack across Jace’s face dropping him to the ground in a heap.

_Crap._

Alec bent over Jace’s prone body, lifted his shirt slightly and quickly drew the Iratze healing rune along Jace’s lower stomach.

Jace groaned, hand coming up to rub at his jaw as the rune did its job of healing him.  “Fucking hell Alec.  Stop hitting me so goddamn hard all the time.”

Alec carefully watched the blond, expecting some retribution.  None came.

“Should have blocked it.  Thought it was too easy.”  Alec sarcastically stated, straightening up only to have his legs kicked out from under him.

Jace grabbed him around the waist with one arm, his other arm locking around Alec’s neck, hauling him into a hard body.

Heat blazed through his back causing him to arch away with an audible moan.  His parabati rune was on fire.  He could barely breathe, just short gasps that cut out before he tried to inhale again.

_Fuck.  Need.  Need.  Need._

The arm around his neck was already falling away, but Alec grabbed it, spun and used it to slam Jace back into the floor.

Brown slammed into wide dilated blue and brown and Alec realized his mouth was just hovering over Jace’s sending tingles and shockwaves down his entire body.

_Fuck.  Back off.  Back off._

Alec could not move, body locked into a war of control and need, breathe still coming sharply.

“There you are.” Jace whispered softly.

His brain could not figure out the words, just felt the tremble in his right arm, aware of the hard body pressed beneath him.  Felt the whisper across his skin but failed to register it as words.

Jace’s hand slid up his side skimming the parabati rune.

“Guys?”  Izzy’s voice sounded uncertain.

Alec launched himself off Jace so fast he nearly sent himself into shock at the change from heat to ice slammed into his parabati rune.

“No!”  Jace cried out, reaching for him.  “Damnit Izzy!”

“What did I do?  You were the two wrestling on the floor like children rather than training.”

Alec half stumbled to his bow and quiver, nearly collapsing when he bent to retrieve it.  Grabbing his black hair and pulling to try and ground himself.  The whole world was spinning.

_The vial.  Need the vial._

“Alec?  Hey you ok?”

_No, he was the furthest thing from fine.  His damn soul was stuck and everything hurt._

“Yes.  Fine.”  He growled out at them, leaning heavily against the wall.

“You don’t look it.  You look like you are about to faint.”  He couldn’t tell whose voice that was anymore.

_The vial in the dresser._

“Fine.  Just need to lay down for a moment.”  He felt strong arms wrap around him holding him up.

“Come on let’s get you to your room.”

He was vaguely aware of Jace and Izzy both escorting him back to his room.  Of sheets being pulled over his body.  Izzy brushing a chaste kiss over his clammy forehead.  He heard the door click shut.

The moment it did he rolled out of bed, yanking the drawer open he had placed the vial inside.

_Fuck.  He was shaking._

“Alec?”

He somehow managed to attach the needle, thankful for whoever came up with the simple device.  And slammed it into his arm.

He never got to depress the makeshift syringe.  A hand wrapping around his stopping him cold.

_Jace?_

Rage filled him, felt his face twist into a snarl, that vial of blood was the only thing that kept him sane for a month.  He could not survive without it, without giving in to that raw primal need.  His fist clenched and he swung but Jace was ready for it.  He dodged the fist, twisting the hand holding the vial behind Alec’s back pulling hard enough that if Alec moved it would dislocate.

“Give it to me.”  Jace demanded from behind him.

Alec tightened his muscles preparing for the pain, because there was no way in hell he was giving up that vial.  Jace must have felt him tense, the pain in his shoulder ratcheting up a notch.  Alec squeezed his hand around the makeshift syringe harder.

“No.”  He snarled belligerently.

The deadlock held for a moment, Alec straining to hold onto the vial, Jace attempting to force Alec into dropping it with enough pain.

“This is not going to work.”  Jace informed him, hard body holding Alec in place.

_Like you have any fucking clue what’s going to work._

Alec growled at him, baring his teeth even though Jace was behind him.

“Alec.  Stop.”  Jace demanded, Alec could feel his hot breath slide along the back of his neck.  It was sending heat and friction down his neck.

Alec closed his dark eyes, dropping his head forward.  There was no way Jace would ever begin to understand why Alec needed that vial.  He felt Jace shift to free one arm still retaining Alec’s hand that held the vial.

“Jace.  Please, let me go.”  His voice came out far too deep and rough, knew he was close to begging and couldn’t bring himself to care.

That free hand was pressing against his parabati rune, causing that same madness to enter his bloodstream.  Blood stirring with want.  His arm started to relax the longer Jace stood there stroking his fingers over the parabati rune, the rest of him felt coiled and tight.  Arousal pulsing through him.  He could not get his mind away from the hot, heat he felt at the nape of his neck as Jace’s breath gusted across his spine.

A slight twist and Jace had the vial.  Alec’s dark head came back up in a snap, whipping around to chase the vial, ignoring the dangerous pull on his shoulder.

Jace tossed the vial on the bed behind him.  Shoved Alec back against the wall, lips grazing his ear. 

“I felt you.  Let go so I can feel you again.”  Jace whispered into his ear, lightly biting at Alec’s neck.

_This has to be a dream._

Alec moaned arching his neck, nerves firing off, hips rolling forward in the air.  Whatever control he thought he had was being obliterated but that mouth.  He couldn’t focus long enough to string a sentence together.

He turned his head to look back at Jace.  Felt his breath falter when he met the blown pupils of his parabati.  Spun the rest of the way around grabbing Jace around the neck before slanting their mouths together.

Heat exploded through his body.  He growled into the kiss, pressing into the hard body in front of him trying to get closer to Jace.  Backing him up until Jace’s legs hit the bed.  Jace did not listen to the silent demand instead he hooked a leg around Alec’s waist twisting them so Alec landed underneath him.

_Don’t wake up._

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Desire pumped hotly through Jace.  He felt it in the training room when finally after months of silence in the parabati rune he felt Alec again.  Felt his soul on the other end, warm and safe.  But the moment their bodies parted he could not feel him anymore, the icy razor edges returned in shocking force.  Alec had become an elusive ghost he kept trying to find.

_Knew you would find me._

Words from a dream so long ago echoed through his mind.

The frustration since Alec kissed him naked in the cell finally finding a way out as he ground against him, soaking up the low groan Alec emitted when he did.  He moved his hands across Alec’s arms, tracing patterns along his stomach as he lifted the shirt off him.  Grabbing the vial in the dropped shirt to toss over the edge of the bed.  Alec did not even notice, dark eyes closed, head thrown back against the sheets.

_You kept trying to tell me what you needed without words._

At the thought Jace slid his hands down Alec’s legs slowly, leaned down to mouth at his stomach.  Alec gave a sharp gasp, abdominal muscles clenching.  Then Jace was hauled up against Alec’s body, Alec licking and biting at his neck.

Jace pulled back enough to shift the biting kisses to his mouth, swallowing the low whimper Alec let out.  Because fuck, the things Alec’s mouth was doing to him was driving him towards the edge and he was still fully dressed.  He slowly brushed their mouths together before delving his tongue in Alec’s mouth.  He lost ability to focus, all he could feel was Alec’s hot, sensual tongue slide against his.

_Fuck…_

He felt Alec grip his hips pulling him back and forth, letting the friction guide them.  Jace broke the kiss needing air only to shift to Alec’s neck, wanting to leave a mark there.

He felt lightheaded and hot, the friction Alec was inducing him with was maddening.  He could not stop his eyes from watching when Alec moved his hand south to touch himself, undoing his pants enough to slide his hand inside.  He knocked the hand aside, needing to touch instead.  The moment his hand closed around Alec, Alec’s eyes flew open locking on Jace.

That dark gaze held him for a moment before he started moving his hand.

“Jace…”

The moaned name had Jace pressing down on Alec.  Alec dragged him in for another hungry kiss forcing him to let go, hands grabbing his hips to thrust up against Jace harder, providing a delicious friction.  Chest pressing to chest, hips locked together, rocking and grinding.

His parabati rune blazed with fire and there.  He could feel Alec’s soul again.

Alec gave a deep moan coming undone beneath Jace.  The sound sending Jace over the edge.


	3. Dark Stained Soul ch 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normal drill of me trying to spit words onto a page for the first time. I hope you all enjoy it. Rated explicit for dark themes.

**Dark Stained Soul**

**Chapter 3**

By: Evey

 

_6AM._

The vial of blood glinted in the predawn sunlight streaming in through his window.  Jace turned it slowly in his hand to once again read the label.

_Jace Herondale._

First that flash of heat prior to Alec nearly passing out.  Then Jace had watched stunned when Alec had thrown himself out of bed with an energy that belied the state he had been in a moment ago, scrambling to inject something, followed by that blazing heat and passion.

Jace turned the vial over in his hand again, rubbing his face with the other.  His mind felt numb from trying to process the events of the past few hours.

Jace had left Alec sleeping to take a shower and get changed.  His own clothes having been soiled like a teen, even with Alec passed out that had been a cutting embarrassment to his pride.  Yet whatever that release of heat and passion had been had finally eased the pulse and burn from his parabati rune slightly.  He knew that meant something important.  He also had no idea what the significance meant for either of them.

_Damnit, Alec you aren’t any better are you?_

The fact Alec had just tried to inject himself with Jace’s blood like some deranged vampire junkie proved as much.  The heated passionate need he had exhibited still left Jace reeling hours later.  Mind bouncing implications around like ping pong balls, none of which he could find a straight answer too.

He had barely slept.  Instead he had sat drifting and staring at Alec’s sleeping form, before returning to his own room with the vial.  Staring at the blood filled vial until the letters had blurred together, blinking and staring again at those letters.

A pounding on his door roused him from his internal musings.

“Alec!  I know you are in there!  Come on I haven’t even seen you since you got out!”  Max’s voice rang out far too loudly for this early in the morning.

_Alec’s little brother, of course._

Sighing to himself, he rolled over putting the vial in one of his dresser drawers.  He would dispose of it later, once he figured out why Alec was so desperate to have it.

Pulling open his heavy oak door and stepping back to allow brown hair to come tumbling in, just as a cold realization hit him at the same moment.

_He tracked Alec here._

Max was a tracker at heart, it’s what he excelled in and now was taking specialized training for.  Max tracked everyone just for fun half the time, other times just to ask a question.  Tracking was second nature to Max, finding his older brother should be easy.  Especially, since he was able to track down Jonathan and Alec together.

Only Alec was not here.  He was sleeping in his own room across the hall.

“Uh.  Where’s Alec?”  Max’s confused voice, pitched into something lost at the end.

Only his brain was drawing a blank, frozen on repeat of the Silent Brothers words that had been turning over in his mind earlier.

_“His soul rests in your parabati rune.”_

After a moments pause Jace managed to get his brain back on track.

_Shit.  Need to deflect this somehow._

“Sleeping.  It’s far too early Max.”  He frowned, hoping Max did not voice the question he knew might come next.

“I know he’s here.  I thought…”  Max looked around realizing Alec was in fact, not in the room.  “…he was here.”

Jace switched his stance to lean casually against the door, arms crossed.  “He’s across the hall.”  He nodded his head towards Alec’s door.  Where he knew a very naked Alec lay sleeping, probably still twisted in the sheets where he had passed out promptly.

_Crap._

Too late, Max leapt across the hall, grabbing the brass door handle, turning it, shoving the heavy door with his smaller body, the heavy oak door didn’t move.

_Finally some karma on my side._

The door had been locked at some point after Jace had left, which meant at some point Alec had woken up in the night.  A cold and warm feeling filtered through Jace as he realized Alec probably woke for one of two reasons- a lack of Jace or a lack of Jace’s blood.

“So how was the great parabati reunion?  You’ve been hogging him Jace.”  Izzy asked coming out of her room, fully dressed in a tight navy dress, sharp black heels, and perfect makeup.

His brain unhelpfully supplied him with the image of Alec last night, flushed and half out of it moaning from Jace’s touch.

Jace wrenched his brain out of the gutter it had fallen into.  Gave Izzy a roguish smile. “It was good.”

Watched as Izzy’s gaze turned predatory, a smirk creeping onto her face.  “It was good?”  She parroted back.  “Did he recover from nearly passing out?”

_Fuck._

The memory of Alec hungrily attacking his mouth tried to derail his ability to think.

“Yeah, we stayed up talking.”  His could not look at Izzy, eyes traveling instead to Alec’s door.

Said door decided at that moment to swing open, revealing dark hair and muscles in a black shirt and pants.

Alec paused, dark eyes glancing between all of them, before swinging his gaze into Jace’s.  “Is there a reason we are holding a meeting in the middle of the hallway?”

Jace stared, there was none of the shaking he had seen in him last night.  No strange heat growing in his parabati rune either and the marks he had bitten into Alec’s neck were gone.

_Probably an Iratze._

“Hey Alec!  Can you train with me today?  I haven’t seen you since you were released.”  Max chimed in, ignoring the question entirely.

Alec’s dark gaze held Jace’s before dropping.  He studied Alec as that gaze flickered over his body before snapping back up.  Now there was a cold blaze hidden deep in those eyes, a blink and it was gone replaced with some blank emotion Jace could not read.

_He’s looking for it._

Well tough shit.  Jace was not going to let Alec down that road, nor to wherever it lead.

“Yeah, I can train with you Max.”  Alec commented, barely glancing at his brother.  Jace caught a muscle twitch in Alec’s jaw, the strange staring contest continuing until Alec blinked ordering.  “Jace, I need to talk to you.  The rest of you get to your assignments.”

“Barely out of lockup and already throwing orders around?”  Jace couldn’t help the challenge in his voice.

“Told you, he never changes.  Stalwart warrior even against Edom. It is why they handed him the title of Head of the Institute and not you.”  Izzy defended her brother, checking her makeup again in a compact mirror.

“Orders you should be following.  Jace, give it back.  It’s mine.”

_Your soul or your drug of choice?_

“No.  It has my name on it.”  Jace felt a smirk form enjoying being able to taunt Alec even if it was over something serious.  However, his smirk dropped when Alec growled at him advancing toward him in two quick steps.  He reflexively took a step back into his own room before squaring his shoulders so Alec couldn’t enter.

Awareness of both Izzy and Max looking between the two of them trying to figure out where the animosity stemmed from drew forth Jace’s cocky, self confidant side.  He leaned into Alec so he could whisper low in his ear.  “Let’s make this quick.  You worry about bright shiny things and less about something red.”

He could see Alec clench his jaw tightly, hear the teeth grinding.  “You have it all wrong.”

Jace tried reaching Alec through the parabati bond again.  The slow pulse and burn was still there, so were the icy razor edges.

“I don’t think I do.”  He informed him, crossing his arms to put some distance between their bodies.  Alec was way to close.

“I will tear this room apart.  Go get it.” Alec practically bit the words out while he pointed a hand into Jace’s room.

“Jace, stop picking on him.  He literally just healed.  Give him a break before you start the pranks.”  Izzy reasoned from where she was still checking over her makeup.

“Fine.  He gets it at the end of the day.”  Jace stated watching as the tension in Alec’s body bled out.

_Not giving it back to you ever._

There were obviously some lingering repercussions from having Edom’s magic removed from his body.  Now Jace was starting to wonder what that exactly entailed, the Silent Brother had said something about not allowing a relapse.  His mind kept going over that vial and last night as he went through the motions of breakfast and training.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The white blue of the main map table in the Ops Center shown on Alec’s face as he continued to scan his dark eyes across the map, noting each red dot indicating a recent demon attack.  The attacks had increased since Edom was destroyed and no one knew if that was due to escaping demons fleeing Edom or a new hellish realm opening up a rift within New York.  Maryse returning him to his normal role as quickly as possible had been both a surprise as well as a dose of reality.  Their numbers were thinned from too much strife within the Clave, each other, and the demons they were all supposed to be rallied against.

_We’ll drive ourselves to extinction if this keeps up._

Strangely, both Lydia and Maryse had continued his operation to bring in more Downworlders as deputies.  Their discussion earlier with Lucian had gone surprisingly well.  Yet, Alicante still balked at his plan and he had yet to break into that political plain.  Granted his recent success at single handily destroying Edom and two greater demons, not to mention any others that had been trapped within Edom as it burnt itself up, had increased his clout with Alicante.  They still seemed to hold a distrust for him due to his entanglement with Magnus.

_Past entanglement._

Red flickered across his vision and he turned his head searching for it.  Nothing was there.

Magnus brought back the strange thought that he was supposed to be in love with the warlock.  He glanced at Maryse across from him as she continued to scan the map as well trying to determine a pattern.

_Suppose to love my mother too._

Yet, all he had felt was a strange detachment for everyone but Jace.  He had the memories of everyone and how he interacted with them, but he no longer could bring forth the emotions that came with them.  Instead there was a darkness in him whispering for something.

“Magnus was sent out this morning while you were busy training Max and Izzy.  He’ll review the location Jace and Isabelle uncovered the other day and inform us if he can handle that rogue warlock or if he requires Shadowhunters to track it down.”  Maryse’s sharp voice cut across the table but lacked the blade it normally carried.

Alec’s brown eyes flickered over to her, noting two new runes etched on one arm, before his eyes dropped back to the map landing on a spot holding red.

“The demons have a pattern, it’s a swirl and originates from here.”  His eyes shifted from the spot to another slightly to the north pointing at it with a finger before tracing the pattern with his hand, stopping before he completed it.

“I’ll assign two people to begin research into what pattern the demons are trying to recreate.  We do not need another Lilith damaging the leylines or worse.” Maryse acknowledged.

He felt the thrum through the wards of a portal activating within the Institute.  Closing his eyes he tried to reach for it.  Could remember the aftertaste of the red burning power.

_Blue, electric, hints of red._

Opening his eyes, he zoomed the map in to another recent demon attack.  “What did the team say about this attack last night?” He questioned Maryse.

“Some drevaks and kuri, still an infestation requiring a warlock to burn them out.”

Annoying nasty little lesser demons that looked like grubs and spiders, just a lot larger and with venom and teeth.

“I’m here.”  Magnus announced as he strode in confidently, expensive suit and shiny blue shirt, he came to an abrupt halt spotting Alec.  “They actually released you?”  Pain lanced through his words before a mask dropped over his face concealing the pain Alec had seen flash across briefly.

“Yeah.  The Silent Brother said I can return to my duties provided I stay inside the Institute until you finish the charm.  Speaking of, when will that be complete?”  Alec matter-of-factly stated, bringing his arms behind his back, spine straightening.

“In a few days at most.  It’s the most I can do for your choice to destroy Edom.  I did always say you would blow up the very ground you stood on to make something right.  And in true Shadowhunter fashion you did and tried to martyr yourself in the process.”  Magnus reached out as if he would touch him before drawing back, taking a breath.  “If Jace stays by your side you could technically go outside the Institute now.  I just would not push it.”

“My choice, destroyed an entire realm of demons.  It was a victory.”  Alec snapped irritated suddenly.

There he could almost see it, the blue and red magic within Magnus.  Luring him to reach out and take it.

“A hollow victory.  I lost you.”  Magnus sadly informed him.

“And what of your report on the warlock lair Jace and Isabelle discovered?”  Maryse interjected before the discussion became awkward in the middle of the Ops Center, she appeared slightly uncomfortable to be standing there.

Alec clinically thought he could not really blame her.  A few weeks ago he had been engaged and in love with Magnus, now he felt nothing but a hunger for the magic underneath.

_Control it._

Magnus seemed to gather some internal energy before addressing Maryse.  “That is not a warlock lair.  I, honestly, do not know what it is aside from something from Edom.  The chrysalis at the center housed something like a greater demon considering the thickness of the shell casing.  I tried tracking whatever came out of it and came up empty.  Whatever it is, is blocking me.”

“Do you think it ties into all the other demon attacks?” Alec questioned tracking his eyes across the map before flickering to monitor Magnus and Maryse.

“Doubtful, that was more of a stasis chrysalis than a breeding ground.  Whatever crawled out was hurt from the escape from Edom, it slaughtered all of those vampires and humans to recuperate.”

“So it had help.”  Maryse commented.

“Yeah it had help.  I think there may be two greater demons running amok somewhere in New York.”

“Magnus how easy is it for a possession to take hold in his current state?”  Maryse questioned.

Magnus’s eyes glittered gold as he inspected Alec.  Alec shifted uncomfortably aware of that stare, curious just what he could uncover with that demonic golden gaze.

“I would prefer if he waited until I have the amulet prepared to go on a mission.  Would be better for him to take the offer Brother Zachariah offered.”

“That was not the question.  How easy is it?” She demanded.

Magnus sighed, shoulders dropping slightly.  “They would need to physically touch him or travel in through a cut or orifice.”  Magnus grimaced still inspecting Alec’s body.  Alec felt tension forming in his shoulders as red flickered through one eye.

_Angel, stop looking at me like that._

“Good.  Alec you take Jace, Isabelle, and Clary on mission to some of the new demon dens and clear them out.  I do not want to hear about Clary taking off to this chrysalis on some fool’s errand.  The Clave will have their envoys here for the day for an inspection and meeting again.  They are continuing their objective on the souls ejection point, it has been cleaned up but remnants remain.  I need you out of here for the duration.  Hole up at Magnus’s if you need to but I want at least two dens exterminated.”

“We’ll aim for more, there will be no need to encroach on Magnus’s home.”  Alec looked at Maryse as he spoke, a quick glance towards Magnus before he dismissed the warlock in his mind.  He had enough to deal with right now.

Maryse actually appeared saddened by this but she took a breath turning to Magnus to escort him out of the Institute only to be rebuffed.  Magnus excused himself saying he would work on the amulet and to update him on that chrysalis when the assigned team returned.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The skulls staring back at him seemed to be laughing at him.  He despised them.  He hated the cold even more.  He had been stuck on some lower level that had taken ages to walk several flights of stairs to reach.  Only to be given candles, a single flashlight, and blankets.  The letters, however, he clutched in his hands like a lifeline.

Jonathan had grown accustomed to the Silent Brother named Brother Zachariah, he had not grown accustomed to the cold, dampness of the Silent City.  The place screamed dismal demise with its rocky hallways far beneath the surface of the crust.  You would think he would be used to it by now.

_Seriously, if they were descended from angels you would think they would brighten up the place a bit._

_“I’m glad you can find amusement today.”_   Brother Zachariah’s voice reverberated through his head.

“It is irony, not amusement.” He tossed his head back in half a laugh letting it smack against the stone behind him.

_“Today we shall be facing some of your inner fears.  I cannot extract them from your mind, but you must accept them as fact for you to move on.  It will hurt.”_ A touch of warning in his head this time.

“I learned pain.  Pain was my companion for years.  What will your Silent Brothers do that Lilith could not?” Jonathan asked coldly.

Silence was all he got for a response.

_“Jonathan Morgenstern, do you believe you have goodness inside of you?”_ Brother Zachariah’s voice echoed in his skull.

_Yes.  No.  I don’t know.  Wait!_

“Yes, Alec spared my life from the hell-bent rather than letting me die a horrible death ripped apart by the anger and hate of the souls of Edom.”  He noticed he had crumpled the letters and quickly smoothed the white pages back out.  Carefully setting them on the old wooden desk in his stone room.

_“You are unsure.”_

“Of course I’m unsure!  I was a demon!  I was made to destroy!”  He was standing now, eyes darting around the room, searching the small room frantically but there was no Silent Brother nearby.  Brother Zachariah could be anywhere in the Silent City for all he understood, speaking to him with ease through his mind.  Reading his thoughts.

_I hate you!_

_“What good have you done in your life?”_   The response was not expected, no anger, no hate, just a blank acceptance of what Jonathan had been and what he was now.

_I don’t know!_

_“Yes, you do.  Start with the people in your life.  Clary and Alec to begin.”_

“I hurt Clary, I wanted her.  I tried to enslave her!  What kind of monster does that make me?  Alec.  Alec I used for my own advantages to destroy Lilith in Edom, because I desired her dead.  She held me there for years in torture and pain!”  He screamed at the walls, movement caught his eye.  He turned and stood staring at himself in the mirror.  Red hair, green eyes, a couple faded Shadowhunter runes.  He wanted to punch it again, but had learnt from past experience that it was unbreakable.

_Wait.  There was something._

“I saved Alec.  I brought him home when I couldn’t control him any longer.  And Clary, I spared her life on several occasions.”

_“Deep down you always knew you could be better.  You have been conditioned to think as a demon for most of your life.  You have forgotten you are also a Shadowhunter.”_

“I killed so many of them.”  He whispered partially to himself, knowing that Silent Brother would hear him regardless.

_“Today is not about regret.  Today is about what you see in yourself.  Are you the monster you believe yourself to be or can you be what Clary and Alec both seem to want from you?”_

He already knew he would always be there for Clary if she would just allow him.  She was the only family that even tried to accept him, even if it was just a moment.   Alec would always understand him now, they were the same.

“When can I see Clary?”

_“I want you to select an instrument to play and a book to read.  You need to find who you are without the demon first.  Your demon died, now you learn to live.”_ That voice reverberated through his head again.

He did not know how to live.  How did one live without the strength of a demon?  He desperately wanted to talk to Alec or Clary, either of them.  Clary to make her understand he was trying, that he wanted to be good, that he wanted to become a Shadowhunter and right the wrongs he had committed.  If by no other way than slaughtering every demon he could find.  Alec because he would understand the struggle.  The struggle of choosing life again and again.  The struggle of relearning how to live when something you thought was vital shifted and changed.

He wandered back over to the mirror. Touching his face, examining the green eyes reflecting back at him.

“Piano and a book on parabati.” He whispered the request.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Damnit, Alec.  I thought you said it would be drevaks and….”  Jace had to cut his annoyed complaint short to dodge the massive teeth of the hellhound snapping down towards his legs.  He rolled to the side, lashing his seraph blade out to strike the giant beast in the neck.

Its black furry hindquarters flipped forwards from the momentum, its spiked tail lashing around, slamming down towards Jace and he was forced to roll again, cutting the tail off as he went.

It lay still rather than dissipating and he could hear more of the beasts howling nearby sending bolts of adrenaline and ice down his spine.

“These are Hellhounds, Alec!”  He snapped over the short range comm, hating how he had lost sight of Alec.

_Don’t lose sight of him._

That is what Maryse had told him when she explained why she was allowing Alec to head this mission even without the amulet Magnus was crafting to protect his remaining piece of soul.

_Damnit._

“Alec? What’s your position?” He tried again over the comm.

“Busy….level.”  The garbled transmission just made him more irritated.

Jace looked over at the red head beside him.  The only person that had not broken ranks when the Elapids had shown up, massive, snake headed demons with a thick scaled body.

_Fucking hell.  No wonder Alec was always so pissed off as leader before._

He eyed the pile of yellow and green goop that had once been several Elapids.  Sometime between Jace and Clary picking off the hellhounds and the swarm of Elapids, Alec had spotted something and taken off, Izzy right behind him.

“Can’t you sense where he is now?”  Clary questioned, green eyes scanning the area they currently stood searching for another attack.

“No, I can’t.” Jace growled.  Pacing back and forth as he tried to reach through the bond to sense where Alec was located in the subway system they were currently clearing demons out of.  Slime was starting to coat his boots making the ground slippery.

“Come on.  We need to move.  Those hellhounds move in packs.  Whatever Alec found Izzy is with him.”  Jace commanded Clary, watching as the red head moved along one wall, before doing another sweep with his heterochromia eyes behind them.

“Jace, I think they went this way.”  Clary called as her witchlight illuminated a doorway that was partially melted from demon venom, the metal covered in yellow and green ichor.  They skirted around it carefully, making sure not to touch it.

_You better stay alive Alec._

A cacophony of baying and howling erupted somewhere in front of them.  Jace and Clary both broke into a run towards the source.

Jace stuck to the old railroad tracks, if Alec wanted to go after a demon he would lure it into the open where his range with the bow would be improved.  If the demon lured him into close quarters…

_Don’t follow it, idiot._

“I thought Maryse said this was a simple nest.”  Clary sounded annoyed to his left, witchlight casting shadows along the tunnel walls as she jogged beside him.

“Yeah, plans change.  You should know that by now.”  Jace took the next right when the track split, activating his sight rune to search for demonic blood on the floor, walls, and ceiling.

“Yeah they shift about as fast as your moods lately.”

Jace stopped, whirling on her.  “We are on mission right now.  Can you do this when we get back to the Institute?”

Clary looked somewhat ashamed to have brought up their relationship problems in the middle of a mission, but he could see she also did not regret it.

He grit his teeth, scanning the ceiling where Elapids tended to hide.  Seeing nothing even with the sight rune activated.

The howling of the hellhounds was definitely getting closer though.  He glanced at Clary who was already turning around to face the incoming hellhounds.

There were five of them.  Red eyes gleaming manically, their large dog-like bodies careening down the tracks towards them, howling their wrath.

_Two against five, not bad._

Jace activated his strength and speed runes with a thought, saw Clary doing the same with her stele out of the corner of his eye.  Jace crouched low, waiting.

The first hellhound leapt, Jace launched himself forward to slam his hand into its back directing its body into Clary’s seraph blade.  With his other hand he slammed his own glowing blade down the throat of the next hellhound, its jaws nearly taking his hand off when they snapped shut.  Demonic ichor spurting from its throat hit his hand as he backed away.  He twisted his body into another spin to slash at the third demon rushing by headed for Clary, her smaller size making her the preferred target.

His blade gouged a long line down the hellhound’s coarse black furred body, spurting black ichor across the ground and adding more gunk to his boots causing him to lose traction.

Clary stabbed it through its body as it landed, it skidded and lay still near her feet.

The last two hellhounds slammed into Jace at full force, their massive weight throwing him to the ground.  He felt one of them sink its teeth into his arm, the other hellhound snapping towards his shoulder.  Pain flared through his body as the teeth hit bone, his hand dropped the seraph blade.  He grabbed the grip of the blade with his other hand as it fell, reigniting the weapon and slamming it into one of the hellhound’s sides, trying to push the blade through to hit the other demon as well.

The hellhound clinging to his shoulder suddenly slumped onto Jace.  Dead.

“Jace!  Hold on.”  He heard a grunt from Clary and the weight of one of the hellhounds started to lift off his body.  He pushed with his injured arms, shoulder and arm screaming in pain.  The dark body flopped to the side with a thud.

“You almost died!”  Clary screamed at him.

_I’m perfectly alive not deaf._

Jace fumbled for his stele, but quickly realized that with two injured limbs he was not going to be able to draw the needed Iratze.

“Yeah.  Just draw two Iratze on me, one on each shoulder.”

Clary was quick to comply, helping him out of his shredded leather jacket and applying the needed runes to each shoulder.

Jace welcomed the burning pain as she drew, waiting until he felt it hit its crescendo telling him when each rune was complete and activated.

“Izzy?  Alec?”  He hit the short range comm again while Clary worked.

“Here.  I’m….Northern Boulevard and…street.”  Izzy’s panting voice crackled across the comm with the sounds of shrieking demons.

Jace could make an educated guess where she was based on the broken transmission.

“Have you seen Alec?”

“Parted at 36th…” the rest cut out, but he had a vague idea of where both of them were located.

_How the hell did they get pushed so far?_

Jace and Clary were down by Lexington, it was going to be a hike just getting to their location.

“Activate your stamina rune.”  He ordered Clary, before reaching up and hitting the comm again.  “Izzy, we are on our way to you.  Alec if you can hear this respond.”

An affirmative from Izzy, silence from Alec.

“I thought Alec was more strict and by the books.”  Commented Clary as they jogged along the subway track towards Izzy’s last known location.

_Yeah, me too.  Perfectly controlled and calm…_

He almost snorted at the irony.

A few minutes later Jace brought his hand up, motioning for Clary to slow.  Bodies of demons littered the subway in front of them, most had arrows sticking out of their eyes or chests, several had the telltale sign of an adamas whip, more had large gashes indicating a seraph blade.

“Why aren’t they vanishing back to the void?” questioned Clary as she drew near one scorpion looking demon.

“I think all of these came from Edom.  I don’t think they have a place to vanish back too.  I’m not really sure.”  Jace answered, he felt chilled that these demons were not vanishing back to the void as usual.  Either something atrocious was going on here or something that might help the Shadowhunter cause.

Flickering light in the tunnel up ahead caught his attention.  It was hidden behind a subway train, Jace motioned Clary to drop low, moving quickly around the metal subway cars.

A whistle, a snap, a crack and another demons cry cut out.

_Izzy._

Jace circled around the subway cars, Clary right behind him.  When they breeched the opposite side of cars they found Izzy panting in a sea of dead demons.

Her silver whip lay partially on the ground as she bent over gasping for breath, witchlight glowed at her feet where she had dropped the glowing stone to see in the dark confines of the subway system.  She raised her whip before her face drew into recognition of friend from foe.

“Jace.  Clary.  Why are there so many?  I’ve never seen so many demons packed together.  Alec went that way.  Said something about finding the leader.”  She pointed further along the path as she spoke, her black hair hung messily about her, makeup smeared from sweat.

_It better not be one of the greater demons that we suspect is running around._

That would be a nightmare.  Alec without part of his soul and only three shadowhunters against a greater demon.  Granted Alec had banished Azazel single handedly and had taken out all of Edom somehow.  Maybe he stood more of a chance than most.

He tried the comm again.  Nothing.

Izzy was already leading the way towards where she had last seen her brother vanish.

An inhuman howl sounded, reverberating loudly down the tunnel.

“That’s got to be Alec.”  Jace sprinted the rest of the way, only to pull up short after the next bend, Izzy and Clary directly beside him.

There was no more track, just a gapping, mangled hole where there used to be a tunnel and track.  He could not even make out the bottom, all he could make out was a faint glowing blade and hear the screech as something hard and metal hit the ground and dragged.

“Alec’s down there.”  Izzy breathed, she was eyeing the drop into darkness with some trepidation, even with runes it would be a tough drop to accomplish safely.  Jace knew she would follow, it was her brother down there.  Even if she needed to climb the rubble, she would get down there.  Clary would follow.

Reactivating strength, stamina, and agility runes for the extra boost Jace jumped, felt air rush past him as he plummeted.  Landing in a rolling crouch when he hit the ground nearly 40 feet below.  His legs protested the jump even with the boost from the runes, felt the shirt on his back tear open from the debris he was rolling through to dampen the fall.

World still spinning slightly, Jace raised his blade up searching for Alec.  Felt his breath lock in his throat when his heterochromia eyes landed on Alec’s form, alive and breathing.

_I’m going to kill him for this._

The irritated thought vanished just as fast as he registered just what was occurring.  The demon before Alec was humanoid in form, giant bat like wings extended from its sides, twisted horns sticking straight up into a slight curve, its red-white eyes growing dimmer even as he stared.  Alec’s entire right arm was buried through the demons chest up to the elbow, seraph blade in his left hand winking in and out.

Jace pushed himself to his feet, foot rolling on something.  He glanced down, Alec’s bow lay shattered on the ground, a seraph blade deactivated right next to his foot.  It was clear the bow had broken before Jace landed on it, he had just made it worse.

Alec yanked his hand out of the demons chest, watching as it sunk to the ground before him.

Jace couldn’t see his face, swallowing he realized he was actually afraid to see Alec’s face right now.

“Alec?  I think we got them all.”  He found himself whispering to his parabati as he approached slowly, the same circling approach he did weeks ago.

_He’s not a rabid animal.  It’s Alec._

Even in the dark he could see Alec’s entire body shaking, muscles quivering.

_Shit.  Not now._

The last time he saw those tremors he had Alec pinned against his bedroom wall trying to wrestle the vial of blood from his hands.

_Ok.  Don’t freak out._

He could hear Izzy and Clary finally hitting the ground from their scrambling climb down to the bottom of the pit.

Alec snapped his dark head up, turning towards the three of them, something incredibly dark and haunted in that gaze.

“I killed him.  Agr…..”  Alec cut out, suddenly whipping back around to stare at the demon on the ground.  With a snarl he reactivated his seraph blade and started slamming the blade into the demon’s corpse over and over and over again.

Jace’s gaze flickered down to the floor, then back up to Alec’s enraged form hacking away at the demon.  He felt his heartbeat kick up a notch, racing faster as a slow realization dawned on him. 

“Alec.  Alec.  Stop.  It’s dead!”  Cried Izzy, approaching her brother but not getting within range of the madness.

Alec slowed and stopped hacking the body apart, which now oozed black ichor everywhere.  He was gasping for breath, the black ichor covered his right arm, Jace wasn’t even sure if he was still wearing a leather jacket or just his shirt.

“It’s ok.  We can go home now.”  Izzy said cautiously, yet her eyes shone with the gleam of adrenaline from the recent battles.  Her clothing was in a similar state as Alec’s, demon ichor and dirt smeared across every available surface.

“We can’t.  I told Maryse I would not return until midnight when the Clave leaves the Institute.”  Alec said tonelessly.

“Well, we need to go to a hideout nearby then.  Access some clean water and get cleaned up before we move onto the next nest.”  Jace informed them.

“Jace is right.  We can’t just stand here if there are other nests just as bad as this one.” Chimed in Clary, she was already moving back up the pile of rubble to get out of the pit, red hair shining in the flickering light from Izzy’s witchlight.

Jace watched Alec move towards the rubble heap to start his climb, swallowed when he saw Alec’s right arm tremble.

He could not tear his gaze away from it and the sinking feeling in his gut the entire way to the safe house.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The smell of hot chocolate wafted up from the mug Jace was holding that Clary had given him.  Izzy sat on the old, stained couch next to him, Alec and Clary in separate beaten chairs further away silently sipping their drinks as well.  They were all clean finally, dressed in the spare clothes the hideout had stashed away for shadowhunters.  Jace had insisted on going last because Alec and Izzy were covered in ichor and he needed to hold onto some chivalry for Clary.

Even from where he sat he could see Alec’s right arm shake slightly whenever he took a drink.

Alec had forced all of them to draw anti-venom and anti-virus runes on themselves both before and after the showers.

“That went south fast.  Least we all got out just fine.”  Clary tried breaking the unexpected silence that had built up.

A few muttered answers back to her from Jace and Alec.

Izzy rolled her eyes.  “Guys.  So dramatic.  We are shadowhunters.  We annihilated that nest of demons.  The only thing we lost was Alec’s bow and my amazingly sexy outfit.”

Alec rolled his eyes at that.  “Izzy, that nest was nearly four times the size it should have been.  There were a multitude of unaccounted for demons.  We should have had a larger team to go in there.”

“We are the best in New York, especially me.”  Jace commented with a smirk towards the others.

“Well, the best would have had his head bitten off if it wasn’t for me.” Claimed Clary, head rising towards Jace in a challenge, daring him to argue the point.

_Stupid hellhounds._

“Ok, I did require a bit of backup.”  He acknowledged with a small smile towards Clary.  “Backup I would have had had someone not broken ranks.”  He sent a glare towards Alec and Izzy.

“Should have spotted the leader, I called it over the comm.”  Alec answered with some heat.

“Alright, break it up.  Jace, Alec you get one room.  Me and Clary will take the other for the night.  Jace come with me to help clean up the weapons.”  Izzy announced, standing up and moving over to their weapons still covered in demon ichor.

“I’m going to check the lower level of the safe house, see if there are any replacement bows or weapons.” Alec set the half-finished cup down heading towards the stairs down with barely a glance towards any of them.  The heavy clomp of boots on stairs echoing as he descended.

“Guess some things never change.”  Clary commented wryly, mouth curving up.

“Yeah, perfect soldier.”  Jace muttered mouth twisting down after Alec.

“Clary, can you give Simon a call and see if he has heard of anything about extra demons or losing contact with other vampire covens?  Maybe get Lily involved.”  Izzy asked picking up a weapon to start cleaning it in the designated sink.

“Yeah, sure.  Simon says the new coven leader, Lily, has been working closely with Lucian so she should help us easily.”  Clary responded, digging through her jacket to locate her phone before heading to a different room for better reception.

Jace put his mug in the sink designated for food and utensils before wandering over to Izzy, picking up a blade to help clean.

“You and Simon having issues too?”  Jace asked Izzy, shooting her bowed head a quick glance before continuing to clean the blade in front of him.

She set the weapon she was cleaning down, looking up at him.  “Nope.  Just needed her out of here.  I needed to talk to you about Alec.”  She stared directly at him, not even moving to pick up the weapon to resume cleaning.

Jace kept his expression in check, traveling his hand down the blade to remove more of the demon ichor into the specialized sink.

“He’s not ok and he won’t talk to me.  Whatever happened in Edom, a bit of magic didn’t heal everything.”  Izzy stated, dark brown eyes tracking Jace’s movements.

“He won’t talk to me about it.  I don’t even fully understand what is wrong to begin with.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”  Jace looked up at her, trying to convey he was not the right person for this.

“But you are the only one he has let close since he got out of that cell.”  Dark brown eyes looked at him pleadingly, reminding him to much of another darker pair.

_Damn._

“You know I’m terrible with emotions.”  Jace tried to sidestep the conversation.

“You are his parabati.  You chose to bind your souls together.  Be there for him because he won’t let me.” 

“I don’t want to make him worse.”  Jace admitted, dropping his gaze to the weapon in front of him, stilling his hands.

_Hell, I might have already made him worse._

“Jace, he’s lost.  I’m afraid this is taking him to that edge he went to during Max’s first running ceremony.”

_Where Alec nearly killed himself by throwing himself off the building._

“But that was due to a warlocks influence.  Alec wouldn’t really kill himself.”  Jace felt he like he was trying to convince himself more than Izzy as he stared back at her now.

Alec had never brought it up to Jace after that incident and Jace had never pushed.  Instead he had been consumed with his concerns for himself and Clary back then.  Now though, Alec’s recent actions had been verging on desperate or primal.

“Magnus said those feelings are already there, the spell just enhances them.  If you think about it, it hasn’t even been a full year, people don’t just forget something like that.”  She wrapped her arms around herself.

_Alec did, he had to.  It was never even brought up._

“Izzy it was the warlock.  Even if Alec felt that way it was so buried that it took a spell to bring it out.”  Jace snapped, averting his eyes.

“He broke ranks to kill that greater demon.  He didn’t care about his safety, he didn’t care about his soul being enthralled.  He doesn’t feel.  Jace, he won’t even acknowledge Magnus.”  She informed him.

Jace rocked back on his heels, eyes going wide.  There was no way she could know for certain that was a greater demon, not without a warlock or a highly trained medic.  And he knew for a fact Alec could feel a myriad of emotions currently.

“You don’t know for sure what it was he killed, just that it was a demon.”

She sighed, looking away. “He hurt Max during training.”

_What?_

“So accidents happen.”  He tried to brush it off.

“He hurt me too.” A cold fact.

_He knocked you unconscious._

His brain supplied unhelpfully proving Izzy’s point.  Inside his head Jace was screaming denial because Alec had been passionate with him.  He had also been desperate, both for the bloody drug and his touch.

_Damnit, what are you trying to do?_

A cold feeling was all that answered followed by the constant slow pulse and burn against his parabati rune.  A constant reminder that he was missing something important that was just out of reach, slipping through his grasp each time he looked.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Alec was already in bed and asleep by the time Jace crawled into his own bed on the other side of the room.  Jace had stayed up until each weapon was cleaned of demon ichor and had skipped dinner choosing instead to lay on the couch spinning he stele for another hour.  Waiting for Alec to fall asleep before venturing into the shared room because his mind kept repeating vividly feeling Alec unravel beneath him.  It also kept cruelly supplying Izzy’s conversation back to him.

Once Jace got the under the plain covers, feeling the coolness envelope him, he felt his body starting to relax towards sleep.  Turning his head he checked on Alec’s dark sleeping form breathing quietly.

A part of him wanted to walk over there, lean down and sink his teeth into the nape of Alec’s neck and wake him up, just to watch him lose control again, feel him through the bond again.  Watching his usually serious and reserved parabati respond to just a touch so forcefully had been one of the most unexpectedly hot things Jace had ever witnessed.  And he wanted more.

With those thoughts he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

_“Whatever you need my queen.”_

_“Your boy is crying you know.”_

_“No!  Stop!  Please don’t!”_

_“He’s begging me not to do this.”_

_Alec was dying…._

_“…It’s time for Jace to finally feel it.”_

There was blood all over his hands.  He couldn’t control his movements.  He tried to twitch a hand, it did not respond to his command.

_Stop…_

Clary’s body lay dead.  Everywhere he looked her body lay dead.  Red blood pooling around her stomach, spurting from her throat, and flowing out her side, green eyes vacant.

_STOP!_

Jace bolted awake, thrashing to escape the sheets, striking anything near him.

_He couldn’t move!_

Gasping, he jerked his body forward tearing the sheets off his legs.

_Freedom.  He could move.  It wasn’t real._

He struggled to control his rapid breathing, felt movement to his left and kicked out.  Struck nothing.

“It’s just me.”  Alec’s deep voice rolled across his thrashing mind.

_Fuck.  Dream.  Nightmare.  Just a nightmare._

Jace felt the bed shift slightly as Alec sat down behind him, before muscled runed arms wrapped around his body pulling him back into Alec’s strong, breathing body.

Jace went with the pull, zero fight to push away the one person he wanted to reach the most.  Embarrassment pulled at his injured pride, but the comfort of Alec’s body smothered both.

Alec ran a hand down Jace’s left side sweeping over the parabati rune where it pulsed hotly, before sliding his hand up and over Jace’s chest.

“You’re ok.  Shh…You’re ok.” Whispered Alec into his ear, hot breath flowing across it.

Jace was not sure how much time passed with his back pressed against Alec tightly, but eventually his body relaxed fully into the embrace.  He leaned his blond head back, vaguely noting how his slightly longer blond hair caught in Alec’s dark black.

“Going to tell me what that was?” Alec asked softly, voice barely carrying to Jace’s ear.

_No._

That was his immediate response, but damn he was tired of fighting Alec every step of the way.  Always pushing him away, the only time he had even felt Alec through their parabati bond since Edom was when he went after him, chasing him down and following that damnable instinct.

He squeezed his brown and blue eyes shut hard.  The parabati rune growing warmer pointing him towards the next step.

“It was a dream.  A nightmare, really.”  Jace swallowed.  “I was the Owl.”

“You were.  It’s over now.  You survived it.  You struggled against it against all odds and came out alive when you were finally broken free.” Alec quietly said still stroking a hand across Jace’s parabati rune and running a hand up his chest, the feeling soothing as well as distracting.

“Tch, I went to the Silent Brothers to have the memories removed.  They refused.  Said I needed to learn to live with what I went through, that it made me who I was.”  Jace’s lip turned down in a small grimace at the memory of being rejected by the Silent Brothers because he wanted to heal.

“That is the point of living.  It’s a struggle.  It does not make you weak to fear possession again.  It makes you normal.”

“The great Jace Herondale, normal.”  Jace scoffed and forced a small smile, knowing Alec could not actually see it, could practically picture Alec rolling his eyes at him for the statement.  “So what’s your struggle?” he asked after a moment.

“Knowing you died.” Alec said bluntly.  “That you came back and did not trust me enough to tell me.”

Somehow Jace figured that response was just the tip of a much bigger iceberg of issues.

“People die.” Jace matched the tone.

Alec sighed deeply, running a hand down Jace’s arm.  “People don’t usually come back to life from an angel wish like you did.”

“Yeah most people don’t exterminate an entire hellish realm in one go either.  Still haven’t told me about that.”  He tried to ignore the shivers that arm was inducing in him.

“Why can you never trust me?” There was a roughness to that voice that made Jace want to drag Alec closer.  He stayed still, keeping his back pressed to Alec’s chest, enclosed in his arms.  Not wanting to break the flow and strange peace he held here even as the question made him want to squirm.

“I do trust you.”  The words felt flat even to him.  “Fuck, Alec, I don’t know when we built all the barriers to each other.”

“Then drop them.  First barrier.  Do you regret coming back from the Owl?”  Alec’s left hand tightened on Jace’s leg as if he expected him to run from the question.

“Of course I don’t regret it.  I want a life to live.  I have a life to live.”

“Descensus Averno facillis est.  The descent into hell is easy.  Trust me it is.  I know you that.  Now crawl your ass out and get back to heaven.”  There was a demand in there for something else.  Jace wished he understood Alec enough again to decipher it.

_Yeah you went there literally.  Had it running through your veins._

Jace had had one demon running around in him and it had kept him from controlling his own limbs leaving him with nightmares weeks after it was destroyed by Magnus.  Jace didn’t want to think about what having the power of Edom run through your body did to your mind.  He knew it sliced the soul.

_What does it feel like to have your soul cut in half?_

He left the question unvoiced.  Jace was too exhausted to deal with whatever rage and violence that question no doubt would bring forth from Alec.

He squirmed his body in Alec’s arms in a silent request to be let go.

Jace barely heard the whisper but when he did he felt a tendril of heat form low.  “No, not letting go.”

“Then don’t, just scoot down so we can try and fit in this blasted bed together.”

Alec loosened his grip long enough to allow Jace to move into a more comfortable position laying on his side before he shifted to lay beside him, tracing a pattern along Jace’s side.  Jace tried to reach for him through the parabati bond again.  He could physically see Alec, yet all he could feel from him was the slow pulse and burn and those damnable razor edges.

_Damnit, where are you?_

“Alec, stop blocking me through the parabati bond.”  Jace requested after a while.

The palm on his side stilled, dropping away.  Alec rolled onto his back from his side, dropping a leg to the ground to keep himself from falling off the small bed.

“I’m not blocking you, Jace.  I just need to…”  There was a rolling dark undertone to Alec’s voice that sent Jace’s nerves skittering.

“Yeah, if I bite you again will you let me in?”  Jace watched as Alec’s whole body seized tightly before Alec lashed his right hand lightning quick grabbing Jace’s jaw tightly.

“Would you let me in?” Alec challenged back barely brushing their mouths together.

_Yes._

Jace felt his parabati rune’s pulse and burn sharpen with heat as soon as Alec deepened the kiss.  Waves of heat spiraling through his body starting from his center.

Felt Alec’s soul slowly unfurl within the bond again, felt the stirrings of the first emotions reverberating through it.  Jace struggled to reach for them from his end of the bond.

Alec pushed his hips against Jace with a low growl, dragging teeth against Jace’s lower lip lightly.

“I can’t stop…”  Alec whispered raggedly.

Jace was buried under pleasure from those lips that it took him a moment to understand what Alec had just said.

They were parabati.  This was supposed to be the one thing they avoided at all costs.  Yet, every instinct in Jace demanded this was the correct path.

_I can feel you again._

That’s all that mattered, he could feel Alec again when his mouth slid down his neck.

Could feel the life force from Alec beating between them steadily through the bond.

“I know…” he whispered back to Alec before dragging another kiss across Alec’s mouth, hand gripping his neck tightly.

Alec dragged a hand down Jace’s chest, twisting his hand in Jace’s shirt tugging the material away, letting his fingers graze against Jace’s abdominal muscles.

Jace didn’t care where the lust was stemming from anymore.  He only understood he wanted more, had wanted more since the other night when Alec had responded so forcefully to something meant to stun him and drop his defenses.

Jace twisted his hips up on a thrust, tugging with an arm, turning them so he was on top, grinding down on Alec.

_Fuck…_

Alec lay beneath him, dark eyes blown with lust and hunger.  Alec reached up with both hands grabbing Jace’s hips impatiently to start to grind them against each other more forcibly.

Jace leaned down to kiss him harshly, demanding Alec let him take control.  A low groan escaped his dark haired parabati as he arched his neck back exposing his neck.

Jace latched onto it immediately.  “Touch me.” He hissed at Alec his own breath ragged.

He felt Alec tense in surprise dark brown eyes darting to meet heterochromia brown and blue.  Jace watched as the brown darkened further with lust as Alec processed the request.

Alec flipped them both over faster than Jace could blink.  Yanked Jace’s pants down, followed by his own and was back on top gripping both of them in one hand.

_Holy fuck that shouldn’t feel this good._

Jace yanked Alec down to him to attack his mouth, deepening the kiss as much as he could.  Feeling his mind start to blank under the pleasure.  He tried to fight it, the moment he let go he wouldn’t feel Alec through the bond again, he knew that instinctively.  The parabati rune felt alive pulsing to the rhythm of their bodies.

He could feel sweat coating his skin as Alec pushed them both closer to the edge with harsh, strong strokes.

There was something he wanted to ask Alec but his lungs were burning for air and his mind washed white as the heat swept over him.

He exploded, it tore through him in a wave.  He arched hard into Alec’s grasp, his cry swallowed in a harsh kiss.

Jace stayed lost in the warm high of the aftermath longer than he had in ages, if ever.  A cool stickiness finally brought him back to his senses.

Opening his eyes he met the sated dark brown in Alec’s, parabati rune slowed to its usual steady pulse and burn, hotter than before.

_Fuck._

He could not tell if he felt happily relieved or guilty.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

It was afternoon the next day before they finished the second demon den and returned to the Institute.  Sunlight blazing down harshly had helped immensely in cornering the demons and even with the solar assistance Alec knew it was a larger den than expected.  Still it went smoother than the night before.

Currently, he and Izzy sat before their mother in her joint office with Lydia.

“More Institutes need to be informed of this.  Demons not returning to the void is unheard of and you aren’t the first patrols to mention this.”  Maryse summed up what they had just informed her easily.

“Alec and I believe it is due to the destruction of Edom.  The demons have no passage.” Izzy nodded her dark head slightly.

“Clary’s sunlight rune will need to be taught to every shadowhunter around the world as a way to burn the bodies of the dead demons.  None of us are certain what the dust and remains can do to shadowhunters or anyone else.”  Alec stated.

Maryse looked between the two of them before rubbing her head.  “There are already procedures in place to distribute knowledge like this easily to other Institutes.  I’m unsure if any other Institutes have contacted the Clave with similar reports.”

Izzy shot a glance at her brother, before turning back to Maryse.  “There is something else.”

Alec brought his dark eyes towards his sister, trying to figure out what secret she was about to spill.

_What are you going to say?_

“Alec was covered in demon ichor during our first demon nest extermination.  I think he also killed a leader or a greater demon.  I want the medics to look at him and no more missions until Magnus gets him that amulet.”  She had leaned forward slightly while speaking, hands kept tightly in her lap.

Maryse snapped her gaze from Izzy to Alec.  “Is this true?”

_No point in lying._

“Yes.  Also I’m fine.  All of us were covered in ichor.  I had everyone apply anti-virus and anti-venom runes as soon as we could and again after cleaning up.”  Alec informed her.

“That’s your body Alec.  What about your soul?”  Maryse’s voice broke slightly in concern for her eldest son.

_The red power he had felt._

“My soul is fine too.”  He told them both forcefully a little annoyed, at her disbelieving look he added. “Jace was near me afterwards.”

“Well, Magnus will be here to deliver the protection charm today.”  She glanced at the clock hanging off the wall.  “He should be here any minute.  Izzy make sure Alec sees the medics and request Magnus to do a scan.”

“Stop treating me like I’m not here.  I’ll see the medic myself.  Send Magnus down to the infirmary when he gets here, if I’m not there I’ll be working on the report.”  Alec flatly stated pushing to his feet and striding out of Maryse’s office.

 It was nearly two hours later before Magnus actually appeared in Alec’s office where he had kept busy sending out the messages to other Institutes about the sunlight rune and how to dispose of demonic bodies properly.

Alec felt Magnus long before the door was pushed open.  That seductive electric blue magic calling to be harnessed and unleashed.

Alec closed his eyes as red sparks fired across his vision from the right.

_Control._

“I see you are mostly in one piece.”  Magnus’s voice from the door made him open his eyes slowly.

The warlock stood just outside the threshold wearing a dark red jacket covered in small studs, the usual black fancy dress shirt and pants, golden cat-eyes glittering.

_Never glamours them around me anymore.  Odd._

“I had some help.”  Alec responded, tracking the movements of the warlock as he entered wandering over towards Alec’s desk.

“Your soul protection amulet.”  Magnus held out his hand, partially dropping the necklace from his grip so that it dangled in the air, silver-white crystal glinting and flashing slowly.  “The chain is made of iron reinforced by magic, it will not break.”

Alec reached out to take it, paused when the red sparks flooded his vision.  He dropped his arm away, shaking his head.

“Alexander, are you refusing a gift?”  Magnus raised an eyebrow at him.  His mind registered it as an old signal but came up with a blank when he reached for the emotion behind it.

“No.  Its…”

“It’s not going to kill you Alexander.  Take it.”

Alec reached out with his left hand and snatched the chain out of Magnus’s grasp, pulling away before the electric blue magic could sink into his skin.

_He wanted that magic in his veins._

He went to clip the chain together at the back of his neck, but hesitated.  Hesitated to long when Magnus spoke.

“Allow me.”  Magnus circled around the desk, hand trailing along the wood.

“I don’t need it.  I didn’t need it on the mission either.”  Alec snapped, clipping the chain into place, and standing up.  Magnus had frozen where he stood, golden eyes gleaming sharply.

Something shifted in Magnus’s face, some deeper understanding.  In that moment Alec hated him for it, for the knowledge of centuries and for his power.

“Alexander, your mind is a battlefield, you have always been its commander.  Don’t let this turn you into its soldier.”

“I’m not.”

_God, he wanted that magic in his veins.  Feel its power again._

“You can’t feel can you?  Oh, Alexander take the Silent Brother’s path, you are already half way there.  Why put more of yourself at risk?”  Magnus pleaded.

“I’m not at risk!  I know…I know how to control it.”  He fisted his hands on the desk, glaring.

“As I suspected Edom’s grasp hasn’t released you even though it no longer flows through your veins.”

Red flashed across his vision, he could feel it forming under his skin, the magic sluiced from that demons heart.

Magnus slide his feet apart, whipping his arm around in a large circle, blue electric magic coalescing before him before he punched it straight at Alec hitting him square in the chest throwing him backwards into the wall behind him.

Alarms blared within the institute.

Alec’s vision slowly cut out as he saw Maryse burst through the door.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Cornered.

Jace despised the feeling as a shadowhunter, always being taught by his father to keep his exits open. 

Clary had officially cornered him regardless by the piano.  The room was large as most of the Institutes rooms were but only had one exit, unless he wanted to climb out the windows behind him.

_Not a bad idea._

She had closed the door behind her and latched it when she had arrived.

“We need to talk.”  She announce fiercely as she had strode in just as he had sat down to play.

_Really don’t want to talk about this._

“Listen I don’t know what is going on with you.  I’m about ready to have Izzy check if you are possessed because you aren’t yourself.”  She had her arms crossed, staring down at him from the other side of the black piano.

Jace felt his hackles rise at the implication.

“I’m not possessed.  I know what that feels like and have been maintaining my angelic rune to ensure it doesn’t happen.”

“Jace all you do is focus on the mission lately or vanish to god knows where.  It’s like the Owl all over again.”  She had stopped in front of the piano where he sat.

Jace tightened his hands into fists over the keyboard.

“Don’t.  Don’t go there with me.”  He shook his head, glaring at her in hurt and anger.

“Then what is going on with you?   You asked for a break and I gave you that, but you just keep pulling away.  You told me this was real.  Its real isn’t it?”  Her bright green eyes burning with too much emotion, that Jace had to glance away.

“I don’t know.  We gave everything for each other and there’s nothing left.  I can’t keep living like this.”

“Living like what?  In love?  Because I thought that’s what we had.”

It was what they had, when he believed it.  If Jace could turn back time he wasn’t sure he would have wanted to fall in love with her now.  Loving, lusting after her had destroyed him on so many levels.

“Clary since you entered my life, I fell in love with you, but I also lost myself.  I was this soldier that was expected to be perfect and I had a family, a family that cared about me.  I threw it all away for you, repeatedly.”  He met her eyes needing to see how she absorbing the news.

“You didn’t lose yourself Jace.  You came alive.  Izzy told me that it was like you had woken up finally.  You can’t just shut down.”  She was begging him now, moving around the piano to try and take one of his hands.

He drew back not allowing her to take his hand.

“Clary, I’m not shutting down.  But we’ve both been possessed, both been hurt by someone we thought was our father, and I just need time apart.  I can’t be with you right now.”

He couldn’t bring himself to explain the parabati bond and how it was messing with his head.  How his conversation with Izzy left him wondering if he had ever loved Clary or if it was all just another lust filled relationship built around adrenaline.

Tears were filling her eyes, but her spiteful spirit won easily.  “We haven’t slept in the same room in weeks.  You go to Izzy for your runes now.  What did I do wrong?  Or are you just afraid to be in love when you have sex?”  She practically spit the last question.

Jace grit his teeth, felt his jaw twitch in anger and annoyance, but stayed silent.  He wasn’t sure how to explain what he was feeling.  What he felt for Clary felt pale now compared to the burn that had taken up residence in his body every time he got close to Alec.

_Not like I’m confused enough._

“Is this about Jonathan?  Because he isn’t going to murder you or I now.  I’ve been talking to him via letters the Silent Brother lets me send him.  He’s trying Jace.  He feels sorry for what he did to you, what he did to us.”  Her voice had fallen to a softer tone, losing some of the anger.

_Lies all lies._

Jace closed his eyes briefly.  Jonathan had been on his mind, but for a completely different reason.

“I just need you to let us go.”  Jace kept his face blank when he turned his heterochromia gaze back to Clary.  She looked devastated, like she couldn’t understand he wanted to end everything.  Clary shook her head back and forth trying to deny what he just said to herself, eyes shedding the tears that had been building since she walked in.

Jace bulled onward needing to prove his point. “You and I need to be apart.  We thought we were siblings for a time and still thought we were in love.  That’s pretty messed up.  And don’t even get me started on the issues with Jonathan’s obsession with you and how you seem capable of forgiving him after everything.”

Clary drew back fast enough her red hair swung in the breeze she created, her green eyes wide and hurt. “And you just want to what…forget everything we went through?” she whispered.

Jace grimaced knowing his next words would hurt, but still met her green eyes across the piano.  “Yes.  I need to know who I am again.  As me.”

“I know who you are.  We can get through this together.”  She tried again to salvage the relationship, tears still shining brightly on her face.

“No.  This is it.  I’m done.”  He blinked, wetness rolled down a cheek.

_Damnit he was crying._

Clary spun on her heel, storming from the room with a slam of the door.  He heard her crying as she fled away from him.

Slamming his hands down on the keyboard in front of him to release the discordant sound did nothing to ease the feeling of loss and confusion welling up inside him.

He choked back a sob curling over the keyboard, wishing he could understand what went wrong so fast that made him want to end it so badly.

Yet buried beneath knowing he no longer held Clary resonated a peace allowing him to breathe easier.  His breathing evened out as his mind found peace.  A small breath of peace he hadn’t realized he was searching for until he felt it.

Now all he had to do was figure out how to fix Alec and himself and that peace could extend from one moment to something longer.

That’s when the Institutes alarms blared loudly through the quiet.

 

O – O – O –O – O – O – O

 

“Izzy!”

Jace yelled her name as she sprinted through the Main Ops Center room, high heels clicking loudly against the floor, she had hiked her red dress up a bit to run easier.  The Institutes lights were still flashing a warning red, but someone had thankfully cut the blaring warning sound.

She just made a motion for him to follow, hand still holding her phone to her ear. 

“I found Jace, we’re on the way.”  She said into the phone before she took off in her high heels.

_The way where?_

Before he could even voice his thought Izzy was twenty feet ahead of him running faster than he’d ever seen her run for any mission.

_Shit._

Whatever it was it was bad.

Jace grabbed hold of the corner of the wall to swing himself around it faster slowly gaining on Izzy in her headlong pursuit.  As they sprinted closer Jace could deduce where she was headed.

_Institute Heads offices.  Maryse or Alec._

She abruptly halted in front of Alec’s office door, Jace nearly slammed into her back needing to veer himself into the wall instead having misjudged which door she was aiming for.

“Mom?”

His heartbeat froze, he flew into the room searching for a body, a demon, anything to attack or defend.

Jace stopped, hand upraised with seraph blade on.

There was a dent in the far wall, Magnus stood weaving blue magic back and forth across something behind the desk, dread filled his stomach.  Maryse stood leaning over the desk, runed arms supporting her heavily but she had her head turned to look back at himself and Izzy.

_I couldn’t feel this._

“What’s going on?”  Jace asked as Izzy brushed past him rounding the desk quickly, before Maryse stopped her.

“It would appear Alec was exposed to demonic energy on your mission yesterday.  Magnus says Alec attempted to hurt him.”

“He went to the medics, the results came out fine.  I was with him the whole time.”  Izzy cocked her head to the side trying to recall anything amiss from the morning or yesterday.

Magnus cut his magic from whatever spell he was weaving on Alec.  “Not everything can be detected with Shadowhunter magic.  Take your wards for example.  It would seem either his mind or body, perhaps both, remember and recognize Edomic magic.”

“Which means what?”  Izzy asked managing to scoot past Magnus, kneeling next to her brother and stroking his dark hair.

“He’s addicted to it.  His body released most of his angelic power when he broke the wards to Edom’s souls.  Edom filled that empty place.  When I removed that magic, it left a high risk of addiction to magic in some capacity.”  Magnus stated if all matter-of-factly, carrying his High Warlock of Brooklyn persona.

Jace squeezed by the immaculate warlock and sat down beside Izzy as well, picking up Alec’s Edom stained arm and running his hand over his wrist.  Alec appeared fine, no marks, no bruises, no blood, just the faint black lines down his right arm that would always be there.

“Is this like yin-fen?”  Maryse questioned flatly, her face had lost most of its color.

“No.  In that it won’t kill him if he does not get his next fix.”  Magnus explained.

There was a low groan from the floor as Alec returned from unconsciousness or a spell Jace wasn’t really sure.  Either way he found himself smiling down at Alec as he came around, rubbing soothing patterns along his wrist.

“Hey big brother” Izzy reached out and promptly punched Alec in the shoulder as soon as he started to sit up.

“Ow!”  Alec’s dark gaze shot to his sister with a confused frown, like he couldn’t figure out why she was there. “What was that for?”

“You should have told me if you were having cravings for something.  Yin-fen recoveree here, I could have helped you.”

“I don’t have….”  Alec’s gaze snapped towards Magnus.  Jace who had been observing Alec the entire time watched that gaze shift through several emotions before landing on something akin to hunger.

“Nope.”  Jace moved before Alec could get his legs under him, sweeping a leg under Alec when he tried to stand and wrapping both arms around Alec’s body securing him in place.  “You aren’t going anywhere.”

Magnus had drawn back a step, one arm held up carefully cocked wrist blue mist spilling out, his expression unreadable and monitoring Alec with dark brown eyes.

“Magnus…”  Alec started.

“Don’t.  Alexander look at me, look past the magic.”  Magnus walked slowly towards Alec, paused.  “I love you Alexander.  I will be here for you, but I will not be your snack.  Give your body enough time to replenish the angelic magic and the cravings will cease.”

Jace felt Alec tense in his arms and he tightened his hold.  “Easy.  I’ve got you.  I know Magnus looks sexy and tasty but whatever you are thinking you’ll regret it.” He said into Alec’s ear.

Magnus raised a glitter covered eyebrow in Jace’s direction.

Alec growled at him, attempting to throw an elbow into Jace’s ribs.  Jace kept his previous hold preventing any movement.  “I don’t want his body, I want…”  Alec snarled.

Jace pulled his forearm up and across Alec’s neck cutting off his ability talk.  “Stop talking.”

Alec’s body went taut against him.

_Don’t freak out._

Jace wasn’t really sure how he was going to handle the situation if Alec decided to respond with something other than violence.

_Concentrate._

Jace focused on activating the parabati rune with his angelic blood with a thought.

_Don’t panic._

He felt its power growing coalescing prior to activating, knew his eyes would be glowing gold.

_Fire.  Heat.  A connection was forming.  A razor edge of ice swept towards him._

Jace blinked dropping the use of his angelic power just as Alec’s entire body pitched forward in a howl.  Heard Alec cut off and retch half way through the piercing cry.  His stomach turned over at the sound, but he refused to release the burning body in his arms.  Before awareness of his parabati rune burning with enough heat it felt like someone had placed a brand on his side, only much worse.

“Well, that’s one way to remove demonic taint.  My magic eliminated most of it, but what did you do Jace?”  Magnus’s voice held a strange awe.

_If I knew I’d tell you so you can fix him faster._

“Uh…instinct…Parabati rune.”  Jace managed to grit out, lifting his shirt to check on the rune with one arm, retaining a hold around Alec with the other.  It was glowing and pulsing to the same beat it typically carried.

_Still there._

Jace flopped back against the wall exhausted.  Alec shook free of Jace’s hold.

“I can’t….I can’t….I can’t….”  Alec crawled a couple feet from him and was laying on his side muttering to himself.

“Think he needs a sleep rune?”  Izzy questioned Jace and Magnus, her scared brown eyes darting between the two.

“I think that would be wise.” Magnus commented.

“No!” Jace yelled.

Izzy appeared just as torn between their responses, before inching towards her brother.

“Iz, just give him a minute.  He needs a minute.”  Jace informed her, watching Alec’s form.

_A minute to get back in control._

He knew he was going to get interrogated about the parabati rune activation later, but right now all that mattered was bringing Alec back from wherever he just went in his head.

He waited and watched Alec’s whole body shivering.

_It’s just like back in the cell._

He picked himself up off the floor enough to crawl over to Alec’s side, dropping his head on Alec’s shoulder.  His physical nearness had always seemed to calm Alec down before, may as well try now.

_Work, please work._

Time passed, Jace could make out the sound of the clock ticking it in the silence, before finally Alec released a normal breath.

“I’m ok.”  Alec’s voice sounded raw and guttural, but more normal.

Jace lifted his head off Alec’s shoulder, glancing at Izzy who was still half crouched with a hypodermic needle in her hand.

“Who are you?” It was Magnus’s voice, calm and flat.

Alec’s gaze slowly lifted to the warlock, before cocking his head slightly.  “I’m Alexander Lightwood.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The skulls still stared back at him, smiling at all the deaths that had befallen them.

Unless they were smiling at the new music Jonathan put forth since acquiring the piano.  Perhaps smiling for the simple joy of a sound they could never hear in death.

_“Tell me about Valentine Morgenstern.”_   Brother Zachariah’s ethereal voice plundering through his mind in the early waking hours as Jonathan sat at the piano practicing.

“He was afraid of me.  He wanted to control me and use the demon within.” He responded with his usual calm tone, letting none of his emotions leak into it.

_“How did that make you feel?”_

Jonathan’s fingers hit a wrong note sending out a discord to bounce back at him from the underground rock tunnels, amplifying his mistake.

“Furious.”

_“How do you feel since your return from Edom?”_

Jonathan paused his music, hands held gently over the keyboard.  He cocked his head to the side almost as if he could picture the Silent Brother standing in the room with him talking.

“Light.  I feel light.”

_“Good.  You go to hold the Soul Sword.”_

The metal door to his dorm…cell…sanctuary creaked open, grinding on its ancient hinges.  Brother Zachariah stood on the other side, face calm and peaceful, hair still frosted with electric blue dye, bland grey robes.

Fear pierced his heart in a shot.  He wasn’t ready.  He was a demon.  He was raised as a demon.  He couldn’t be anything other than a demon

_I will protect you._

Words spoken from another person, another time, another place calmed his racing heart.

He could do this, no one saves a demon.

Jonathan stepped out of his cell to follow the Silent Brother to the room holding the Soul Sword.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Alec stubbornly glared up at the ceiling in his bedroom.  Its dull pale color had various twists and turns woven in by whatever painter had decided to slap it on over the years of maintenance.  He was not speaking to the other two people in this room, both seated annoyingly on his bed rather than anywhere else.  He could feel the dips in the bed from their weight.

_At least the bed’s softer than the cell floor._

“Alec, come on.  Mom has pulled you from all missions even with the magic amulet Magnus gave you until you can prove to her you have this under control.  Talk to us.”  Izzy pleaded from her spot on the bed.

_Probably still has a dose of medicine to knock me out with hidden in her dress._

His jaw ticked as he raised his eyes to the headboard just to make Izzy’s dark form blur and leave his line of sight.  Unfortunately, that brought the blond into his line of sight.

Jace had parked himself directly beside Alec’s head the moment he had collapsed on his bed with an order for them to let him sleep.  Neither of them had listened, instead torturing him into wakefulness.

“Alec, when I was recovering from yin-fen, it felt like I was always to hot or cold and my body felt weak.  What does magic feel like?”

_Red.  Electric.  Power._

His parabati rune gave a pulse of warmth across his side, he itched at it.

Jace nudged his side with a leg.  “No falling asleep.  You need to talk to us about Edom too.”

That pissed him off.

“There’s no Edom to talk about!”  He snarled locking his eyes on Jace feeling a strange thrum go through his body.

“Uh huh.”  Jace looked unimpressed with the anger, leaning back casually against the headboard, spinning his stele through one hand. “Just lost half your soul.”  He deadpanned.

“Fine.  Magic is life.  It’s power.  It’s what let me tear…”

_Look what you’ve become, such a pure shadowhunter._

Alec rolled to face away from Jace. “It let me survive.”  He whispered instead.

“I don’t think that’s why you survived.  I think you survived regardless of magic.”  Jace sounded too confidant, sitting there spinning his stele in his hands.

_He doesn’t know what he’s talking about._

“How do you absorb magic?  Magnus said you took magic from the demons we fought.”  Izzy questioned, trying to reason her way through some of this.

“I kill them.” He deadpanned at her.

“Liar.”  Jace called him out instantly.  “You rip their hearts out.”

Alec whipped around already swinging a fist into Jace, Jace caught it easily twisting so Alec had to roll awkwardly with it.

He lashed a leg out to knock Jace off the bed with a kick, which surprisingly landed.  Alec shot off the bed after him only to realize it was a trap.

Jace kicked his legs out from under him, grabbing one arm to pin it to his side using his body weight to hold Alec down.

“And then there is this.  Getting kind of predictable parabati.”  Jace said into his ear.  Alec could feel the stubble from Jace’s jaw rub against his cheek when he spoke.

“Get off me.” He said coldly, putting as much pissed off frustration into that one sentence as he could.

Jace sat up, but didn’t get off his back.  Instead straddling him more firmly.  “Nah, I think you’ll talk more like this.”

He heard Izzy snicker from her spot on the bed.

“I’m going to kill you.”  He growled at Jace trying to twist around before trying to push up from the ground with his arms.  Jace just batted his arms out from under him.

“You won’t.  You need me too much.  I’m your sanity.”  Jace declared.

It was too close to the truth.  Alec exploded his body upward throwing Jace off him.  Twisting to throw a punch.

“Alec stop with the violence.  This isn’t like you.”  Izzy said from the bed, but she didn’t move to assist or stop their tussle.

Jace caught him in the side with a tackle, knocking him back down again to land on his back.

Alec froze before turning to dirty tactics, grabbing a fistful of Jace’s blond hair and pulling his head up.

“Ow!  Let go!  Bastard!”

Alec smirked evilly at Jace. 

Jace smirked back eyes alight even through the pain on his scalp.

Alec frowned in confusion.

“I’m going to bite you if don’t let go.”  Jace panted, half laughing.

_Fuck._

Lightning chased through his body, heat pooling low and hot, too fast for him to control it.

_Control it._

Not like ever could control this, he gave in every time.  He could feel the warmth spread from the parabati rune pulsing through his body.  That pulse went straight to his groin.

_Damnit, no._

There was no possible way Jace couldn’t feel his arousal right now, but Jace didn’t move from where he had Alec pinned.

Alec loosened his grip on Jace’s hair but didn’t remove his hand completely.

“Jace…”  Alec was not sure if it was a warning or a plea.

“There you are.  You hear me.  Stay here.”  Jace dropped a hand to the parabati rune, pushing on it.

“What just happened?”  Izzy voice pierced the haze around Alec’s mind.  He was still rock hard, Jace was still on top of him.  Embarrassment flooded him even as the need kicked up another notch.

“Izzy get out.”  Snapped Jace.

“No.  He’s not stable.”

“Get out.  It’s his soul.  Get out!”

“What?  Why?  I can help.”

“Get out!”

Izzy scrambled to obey the desperation in Jace’s voice, closing the door with a soft click.

Jace pushed down against Alec in a slow grind.

“You survived because of our bond, idiot.”  Jace informed him.

Alec yanked Jace’s head down to him for a kiss, harsh and demanding, begging for release.

“Yes.  Fuck, Jace.  I heard your call.” Alec said against his mouth too lost in the feeling of warmth spreading through him.

Jace broke the kiss to yank Alec’s shirt up, mouthing his way down to their rune.  “This has been driving me insane.”  He grazed his teeth along Alec’s skin.

Alec could only groan in response, thrusting up in an attempt to gain friction.

Jace turned him over so he was laying on his stomach, placing a hand over Alec’s parabati rune that was emitting heat through his body in waves.  He felt Jace’s other hand working to free him from his pants.

He didn’t care what it looked like, he got to his hands and knees to thrust better into Jace’s hand.

“Move.”  Alec demanded when Jace wasn’t moving fast enough.  Felt Jace bite his shoulder in response, naked chest to his back.

_More._

Alec thrust back against Jace, feeling an answering hardness when Jace moved with him.

“Always going to be this easy.”  Jace panted harshly into his ear, but Alec could hear a smile in there, a challenge.

He wanted to answer it, but the parabati rune and the familiar madness was driving him forward to fast.  All he got out was a choked moan.  Pleasure concentrated between his legs and zeroed in on Jace thrusting against him.

“Damnit…Fuck, Alec.”  Jace moaned brokenly into his shoulder.

Alec was vaguely aware that his parabati rune was emitting golden light, but all his focus was turned towards Jace grinding into him and that there were too many clothes still involved.

He broke the rhythm and spun around grabbing Jace around the waist to throw him on the bed.  Yanking the irritating pants off Jace’s body before the other could protest much.  He dropped to his knees on the floor, before licking Jace and swallowing him down.

Jace reached down fisting his hands in Alec’s dark hair, thrusting into Alec’s mouth before dragging Alec back up into a kiss.

“Need…”  Alec couldn’t get the rest out before hot mouths clashed again.

Jace rolled Alec so he could take control again.  “You are going to stay with me this time.”  Jace husked at him, eyes smoldering.

_Fuck.  I’m going to come from that look._

Jace leaned forward and licked Alec’s shaft.  Before repeating what Alec had started to do earlier, swallowing Alec down as far as he could get.

Alec threw his head back on a stunned cry, because he never once expected this from Jace.

He felt his body tightening, a sheen of sweat breaking out, felt Jace rub one hand along his velvet sac, the other running over his parabati rune in a feather light touch.

That touch did it, Alec bucked up into Jace’s mouth, hot magma bursting from his body.

Jace backed off immediately, face heating in a blush.  Alec tugged him in for a kiss, rolling them so he could return the favor.

Alec glanced up in question at Jace when he got there.

“What?  You’re hot and um….feeling your soul again…it….got me off.”  Jace smiled down at Alec.

“You always going to be this easy?”  Alec smirked Jace’s earlier words back to him before crawling back up to kiss him.

Crawling under the covers and sending Jace a look that he should do the same.  Jace snuggled under the blankets with him easily rubbing circles along Alec’s arm.

“I heard you calling me from Edom.  You were a white light, the only source I could follow.  So I followed it and now I can’t figure out how to get it back.” Alec told him, tracing Jace’s side.

“Pretty sure we’re on the right track.  I feel your soul every time we…”  Jace waved his hand between them, suddenly awkward.

“Wait.  Sex god Jace Herondale can’t say fucked?”  Alec laughed at him.

Jace shot him a glare that softened almost instantly.

Alec searched Jace’s heterochromia eyes registering something shining there he never expected to see directed at him and definitely wasn’t sure he deserved anymore.

_Those eyes are hypnotic._

Alec found himself leaning over capturing Jace’s mouth again just for the taste.

“Alec, stop.  This…we need to talk.”  Jace gently told him, pushing him back slightly letting their mouths touch briefly.

_No. Never._

Talking meant bringing up his old and current feelings.  Talking meant explaining the location of his other half.

“What is there to discuss?”  Alec asked turning to rest his head against Jace’s side over the parabati rune.

“Still feel any cravings?”  Jace asked him point blank.

The question washed away the warmth that had cocooned around him, zapping the happiness with it.

Although now that he thought about it he didn’t feel physically cold anymore, didn’t see any red flashes across his vision, and the constant need to be closer to Jace had decreased substantially.

“No.”  The word surprised him.  He had not felt this normal in over a month, not since before Edom.

He reached over to run a hand across Jace’s abdominal muscles.

“Alec, look at me.  There is a Silent Brother that believes part of your soul is stuck inside my parabati rune somehow.  I don’t know if he’s right or not but based on how you’ve been acting-”

“I’m not acting any differently.” Alec interjected sharply, rolling away to search for his clothes.

“You have two modes towards me lately Alec: violence and this.  You’ve ignored Magnus, the person you were engaged to.  And now this magic craving.”  Jace sat up watching him intently but calm.

Alec growled at him.  “You couldn’t bring this up prior to earlier?”

Jace’s jaw ticked, forehead creasing.  “Alec, I’m your parabati and our bond held through things that should have destroyed it.  I’m starting to believe the missing part of your soul is being protected here.”  He pointed at his side where the rune sat in stark black.

_Well, he’s right about that._

“If that is true, it doesn’t explain how to give it back.”

Jace paused, head cocking to the side recalling something.  “I think you knew how the moment you first saw me when we brought you in after Edom.  Instinctively you already know that answer.”

Alec stood staring at Jace in conflict.  Jace couldn’t possibly be implying what he thought.  Then again they’d already been dancing around each other listening to the call of heat and pattern of a pulse neither understood.

“I’ll tear you apart.”  Voice low and husky again.

“Not if I beat you to it.”  Jace easily challenged back, either ignoring or missing the implications in that statement, reaching over to grab his pants from the floor.  “But I think Izzy might be questioning what’s going on in here.”

“Just tell her you left me to sleep.  I’m sure Clary will cover for you.”

Jace had his shirt halfway over his head when he responded.  “I broke up with Clary.  And Izzy already has a bone to pick with you, seems to think you are unstable.  Good luck with that.”  Jace grinned at him remorselessly.

_Shit._

“You aren’t the least bit worried about that?”

“Nope.  We’re working on healing you.  Different altogether.”

Alec’s parabati rune which had been emitting an even warmth through his body rapidly cut out, razor ice edges returned punching whatever had taken up residence in his body out.  Removing heat and replacing it with a desolate craving.

_Control it._

 

O –O –O – O – O – O – O

 

The Soul Sword rested in his palms again.  It’s cool metal touching his hands again.  Long silver blade and ornate golden hilt laying quiet against his skin.

_It doesn’t burn me._

Jonathan was certain he would never get over that amazement.  The sword should have killed him upon touch, but thanks to Alec and a bunch of souls he was free of that curse his father had placed on him.

_I don’t have demon blood anymore._

Another amazement he still woke up from thinking wasn’t real.

He clenched both hands over the blade just to feel it slice into his palms slightly.

_Pain._

That was what he should have felt the moment the soul sword was placed into his hands for the interrogation with the Clave. 

The Clave members stood around the room at varying distances.  Four Silent Brothers stood around him their long plain grey robes and stitched faces.  Brother Zachariah, with his strange blue spiky hair, stood behind and apart from him a short distance away, an Inquisitor before him.  They were still far underground, rock and stone along the walls, rock for benches, skulls and runes scattered in select intervals around the room. 

“You stand before the Clave for your crimes as a demon blooded Shadowhunter.  Are you still demon-blooded?”  The inquisitor sternly began the days questions.

_Simple._

“No.”  Jonathan answered.

The inquisitor and all others in the room waited a moment looking at the sword.  The metal remained quiet in his grasp.

“Did you plan to annihilate all of Edom?”

_Ahh.  So it wasn’t about his attacks on the Institutes today._

“Yes, I wanted my mother, Lilith, dead.”  He informed her coldly.

“Why take the realm with her?”

That answer was more complicated and Jonathan could feel a slow heat building in his hands as he thought it over.  He ignored the pain easily thinking it over, remembered tracking Lilith to Asmodeus and Magnus’s home only to find a lone Shadowhunter.

“An opportunity presented itself to end her permanently.  I used it.”  He stated flatly.

The sword cooled immediately.  It was the truth, as much as he was willing to give.

“We have reports that the demons from Edom are not dissolving back to their realm because of the realm’s destruction.  Were you aware you were exterminating your own kind?”  The Inquisitor’s sharp steely voice cut towards a truth he was still grappling with.

Jonathan could see she was already frustrated with his short responses.  But they had been already been over Valentine Morgenstern and Jonathan’s childhood in previous days.  This was just their next step towards either his death or redemption.

_I wonder if they’ll give me the cell instead.  Its quiet, out of the way, I wouldn’t even be bothering anyone._

“Answer the question.” The Inquisitor snapped.

“I did not realize the souls behind the gate would command enough destruction to successfully exterminate a realm.”  That truth came a bit harder.  He hated admitting he was wrong.

“How did you, a demon, survive?”

_Alec.  They wanted to know about their escape._

The soul sword glowed yellow, runes igniting, biting into his flesh with its power.

_Derail it._

“Power.” He gasped out, green eyes staring daggers at the Inquisitor.

“What power?” her irritation was rising, he could see it.

“The souls.”  Jonathan expected the sword to remain quiet after that but it did not, instead glowing brighter, demanding more of the truth.  “The souls pulled the demonic essence from me.” He bit out angrily.

The swords insistent power stopped.

Jonathan sagged but held onto the sword, dropping it would mean he refused the question and certain death.

There was a mummer of voices from that statement, people shifting in the room.  He kept his eyes on the interrogator.  Focused on that woman’s face, her clothes, memorizing every detail.

He wondered if he should have an urge to kill her or if he was just fascinated with someone unlocking secrets they should not be.

“Did you want to give up being a demon?” She sent her next question as a barb.

He narrowed his green eyes at her.  “I wanted a family.  I wanted Clary to love me!”  He hissed at her.

“Yes or no?”

He realized he was undecided on the matter.  He had always wanted to be free of the nightmare, but now that the power was gone.  He found he missed what had always been.  But he wanted to be good, didn’t he?

The soul sword continued to glow a brighter yellow as he contemplated, its power digging into him searching for a truth to expel from his mouth.

_The dichotomy of good doesn’t exist for people like us._

“No.  I don’t know how to live as anything else.”  The words broke out of him.

The Inquisitor’s face flickered with something to fast for Jonathan to take in, before resuming her irritated appearance.

“Do you want to kill all shadowhunters and mundanes?”  That blasted woman had barely moved an inch the entire interrogation.

Guilt was starting to rise up in him.  He couldn’t look at her anymore, dropping his gaze to the sword.  The Silent Brother had said guilt was a normal emotion, Jonathan hated it.  He had no idea how to cope with it.

“No.  Not anymore.” Still staring at the sword as it remained quiet. 

“One last question, how did Alexander Lightwood survive?”

_No! No, no, no, twist it.  Twist the truth.  Cunning you were always cunning._

The sword lit up brightly in his hands, yellow white light shining onto his face and shirt.  Burning brighter.  The pain he could deal with but the urge to spill the truth was pulled from him regardless by the swords power.

“He didn’t.”  Jonathan dropped the sword as soon as the words left him, stepping back away from the pedestal.

_“Inquisitor.  That will be all further questions for now.  Jonathan Morgenstern still requires a great deal of mind healing.  I do not wish to send him back to his old self.”_ Brother Zachariah’s voice reverberated through everyone’s heads.

The Inquisitor looked torn between furious and respect for a Silent Brother before conceding “Jonathan Morgenstern’s crimes still need to be paid.”

_“He shall pay them here in the Silent City until we deem him ready.”_

Jonathan just stared at the sword in horror.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The training hall echoed with the sounds of wood clashing back and forth as Jace and Izzy practiced with escrima sticks.  The room they had selected was filled with columns, tables, chairs, and other items meant to teach a warrior how to dodge and use the environment to their benefit.

Jace deflected three quick blows Izzy threw at him in quick succession her attacks forcing him to retreat to keep blocking.  He kept his eyes trained on her movements waiting for the opening.

Izzy swung for his head, slightly too wide.

_There, an opening._

Jace ducked the swing, knocking one stick with one of his own wooden sticks away in a sharp clack.  Hitting her leg with the stick in his other hand.  Before effortlessly spinning around to rest one on his shoulder casually.

“I think staying up late watching movies with Simon is catching up on you.”  Jace taunted, smirking at Izzy.

“Jealous I have a sex life right now and you don’t?  Pity.  I thought you might have found one a couple weeks ago.  You did have a stupid grin on your face at dinner that night.  I still am curious who the lucky person was.”  She paced in front of him searching for an opening.

Two weeks since he had felt Alec’s soul through the bond, two weeks since that overwhelming heat had blown up his perceptions of what he wanted.  Again.

_The feel of hands in his hair pulling gently._

Jace didn’t deign her a response, swiftly attacking in a jump aiming one stick in a large arc over his head, the other in a sideways swing.

Izzy deflected both and they went back into the rhythm of attack and parry before breaking apart again.

“You should be proud of me.  I took your advice and broke up with Clary to work on myself.  Can’t help it if someone else finds me attractive.” He kept his voice light and self-assured, parried two more of her attacks before smacking her on one arm before putting one of the large columns in the training room between them.

“Uh huh, you know Clary went to the Silent City to visit Jonathan.  Apparently, stayed there a couple days.  She hasn’t talked to me about it yet.”  She informed him before swinging to hit his lower leg, he dropped the stick down quickly to deflect the blow.

“Jace?  Izzy?  Have either of you seen Alec?”  Max called from the doorway looking lost.

They stepped apart from the mock fight to glance over at him.  A column in the middle of the room separating them from viewing Max just yet.

“Just track him.”  Izzy called in mild impatience over her shoulder.  “We’re training.”

“Yeah, I did.  It’s the same problem as before.  It leads me to Jace.  And mom got some news from a Silent Brother and needs Alec in her office, like thirty minutes ago.”  Max said as he walked into view.

_Crap._

Jace was not quite certain why he had been hiding this fact from Izzy or the blood he had stolen from Alec that had probably gone bad in his dresser drawer, but he had because Alec had looked so lost without it.

“Wait, why is this the first time I am hearing about this?”  Izzy turned around to face her youngest brother.

“Uh…”  Max shot a look to Jace.

“He knows!”  Izzy whirled back around to face Jace.  Jace tried to look apologetic. “Max can’t track Alec and neither of you thought this might mean something was wrong!?”  Izzy yelled exasperated, throwing her arms up and glaring at Jace.

“When was the last time any of us saw Alec?  Maryse has him on lockdown anyway.”  Jace racked his brain trying to recall the last time he had laid eyes on dark black hair.  It had to have been last night at dinner, maybe right before that during training.

“I’ll check the other training halls and the courtyard.”  Izzy said.

“I’ll go check his room and the roof.”  Jace called as he put the weapons away quickly.

“Um…what if I track the other?”  Max asked shifting on his feet nervously.

_What?_

“What other?”  Jace practically snarled.

“Well, whenever I try and track Alec its split.  The bulk of it leads me to Jace, but there’s always this faint trail leading elsewhere.  I always thought it was just Edom’s influence on him but it’s still there.”

Adrenaline dumped into Jace’s system.  He brought a hand up to the parabati rune trying to track Alec, same pulse and burn then those damnable icy edges.

“Max?  Have you ever tried following that trail?”  Jace dreaded the answer but he needed to know.

“Yeah…but something blocked me before I found where it led, but that was ages ago.”

_Fuck._

Jace started pacing.  “Ok, calm down.  Izzy, if you find him don’t approach him.  Just call me.  Max try tracking him again, just enough to tell if he’s inside the Institute or not.”

Max brought his hands up in front of him, holding the dagger he had been using to track Alec with.  Max rewrote the tracking rune and closed his eyes concentrating.

“Jace, what aren’t you telling us?”  Izzy demanded, hands on her hips now.

Magic, blood, skin on skin.  Demonic essence removed.  Jonathan’s dark voice telling him Alec would be addicted. 

_Holy shit, this is not happening._

“I think Alec is becoming a demon.”  Jace watched as all the blood drained from Izzy’s face.

“What?”  She managed to squeak out.

“He’s been craving my blood, Magnus’s magic, and…other things.  I think some of them help him, but I don’t know which ones help and which ones don’t anymore.”  He averted his eyes from Izzy as he felt his face heat up in an uncharacteristic blush.

_Not entirely true._

“Guys….Alec’s not in the Institute.”  Max called, opening his eyes.  “He also blocked me.”

Jace punched the column before leaning his head heavily on it.

_Focus.  Treat it like a mission.  A retrieval mission._

He turned his head against the column to look at Max, who was looking paler than Izzy.  “Give us the general direction.  Izzy and I will take it from there.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The scent of smoke, oil, ichor, fire, and dirt was starting to overwhelm his senses.

Alec paused within the shadows he currently hid, dark eyes tracking the demon den in front of him.

The demons lay in piles, the living tearing apart their own dead to consume the blood and magic within.  The demon bait he had planted earlier long since consumed, sending them into their current frenzy.

Alec drew his bow back slowly, breathing in as he lined up the shot.  Breathed out and released the dark arrow.

_Zing!_

The bolt flew across the air to slam into its target.  A demon at the far back that had gorged itself on blood and magic.  It died with a shriek, purple blood splattering the dark ground.  The rest of the demons swarmed in a roiling mass over recently deceased.

Alec moved quickly to a new location, always remaining within the shadows, ensuring he never left the downwind side of the den regardless of the fumes burning his nose.  His eyes never left the demon that drew the largest share from the one he had just killed.

_Just a couple more and it will be ready._

A couple more turned into hours of patiently waiting, killing, and watching which demon became the strongest.  Then repeating the process over and over again.

Until what had started out as a hive, dwindled to two demons.  Both facing off against each other, smoke-like limbs lashing and gouts of fire spewing from their mouths in small bursts.

_Cannibalism is going to become very common among demons soon._

He had heard accounts of it, but never seen it.  There were always other sources for the demons to feed off of easily.

Alec pulled the bow back, feeling the red fletching touch his jaw.  He could see the magic coursing through the demons veins now, crackling with a red light.  A few of the angelic runes on his body were starting to burn, sensing his intention.

The arrow slammed into the demon on the right.  The last remaining one stood up on its haunches, skeletal smoky face sniffing the air, ignoring the last carcass.

_Finally._

He strapped the bow to his back quickly, tugging once to ensure it was secure, before grasping the Seelie blade drawing it out of its sheath quietly.  He had already positioned himself above the den for most of the night and would need a few more feet to cover before he could execute the drop.

Alec took three running steps along the ledge before leaping out into the air, bringing the blade in line with the demons chest as he fell.

The demon lashed out with smoky tendrils, splattering the ground with a slick oil like substance.  Fire orange started to form at its mouth preparing to ignite the oil slick and burn Alec.

Alec’s blade slammed into its chest, momentum carrying him forward and driving the demon down where it remained pinned to the ground thrashing once before stilling.

Drawing the blade carefully through its chest cavity, the oily nature of the demon he had destroyed making it difficult to locate what he was after _._

_Come on.  You all have a center, a heart._

He could see the red magic pooling along the ground, drifting away as the demon began to cool.  He would not lose it, not after employing so much patience for this.  He doubted he would be able to escape the Institute anytime soon.

He drew a small cut along his right arm before sinking it into the demon ichor, ignoring the part of his mind that was screaming at him to stop.  Instead focusing on the gaping hole Edom and then Magnus’s magic removal spell had carved into him, removing angelic and demon power respectively.  The power flooded in through that small cut.

_Smoke and oil._

This magic felt unlike what Edom’s souls had provided, lesser.  Vastly different than Jace’s blood or touch managed to invoke in him.  But magic was magic, it was easing the pain throughout his body soaking into his veins.  He had decided he was not about to lose control and hurt Jace, which limited his options to this.

The power slowed to a trickle faster than he desired and he yanked his arm out of the ichor filled chest.

He checked his phone for the time.  Seven missed calls, three voicemails, all from Jace and Izzy.

_Crap. They knew he wasn’t there._

He double checked the time on the phone.  Hours had passed.  He had planned a couple hours at most, what read back to him on the phone was nearly an entire day.

_There was no easy way out._

He didn’t have a contingency plan, couldn’t blame it on staying at Magnus’s anymore, and clearly had two people looking for him.  A small part of him angrily informed him he always had a plan, but this time he had been so consumed with trying to control a spiraling need he hadn’t thought.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

They were still in Magnus’s loft waiting for the warlock to complete his tracking spell on Alec.  Ancient ornate items scattered throughout the loft, excessive taste everywhere Jace looked.

Jace sat on the sofa twirling his stele through his fingers on one hand, other pressed to his parabati rune trying to sense an iota of emotion from his other half.

Izzy sat messing with her phone having said something about tracking Alec’s cell phone through hers.  Apparently, something Simon had shown her how to do previously.

Magnus remained cocooned within his bubble of blue magic swirling around the dagger Izzy had given to Magnus to use for the tracking.

“I’ve located Alexander.  He’s near the Institute.”

Jace launched himself off the couch, landing smoothly.  “Where?”

“Opening a portal there now.”

Magnus swung one arm in a large circle with a burst of blue magic the portal appeared.

Izzy and Jace both stepped through together.  He was ready for anything.  Demon, carnage, violence, but not Alec walking down the street holding what appeared to be takeout and a slushie.

Alec paused when the three stepped out of the portal, dark eyes tracking over Izzy, Jace, and Magnus.

Alec rolled his eyes up at the sky before looking back at the trio.  “What’s the emergency?”

Jace blinked, brow furrowing.  He was expecting something like what Jonathan had exhibited before he had metamorphosed into a normal shadowhunter, madness and violence.

Alec had been avoiding him the last two weeks claiming he was catching up on Institute work.  Jace could not even question him about it because of the increase in demon attacks had left him on mission nearly every day.  But Jace had felt it, a magnetic pull to return to Alec and finish what they started.

“You are.”  Magnus stated when neither Jace nor Izzy answered immediately.

“Well?”  Alec brought his arms up, still holding the food awkwardly, as if to indicate _here I am_.

“We thought something had happened to you?”  Izzy swiftly walked to her brother before enveloping him in a hug.

Jace hadn’t moved, his earlier panic felt stupid now.  But his gut had been screaming at him he was right.  He responded with his gut instincts in most battles, allowing training to take over first and foremost.  But, this was not an enemy, he was trying to fix his parabati.

Jace’s gaze raked across Alec’s body searching for scrapes or blood.  All he found was a black leather jacket smeared with some oil, black pants, his bow and quiver strapped to his back, and a Seelie blade.

_Takeout with a Seelie blade, huh, I’m not stupid._

“Been cooped up in the Institute to long, just left to grab something to eat.  I know Mom doesn’t want me on missions for another week minimum.  But I think I’m safe enough to walk a block.”

“Have any to share?”  Izzy jabbed her brother in the side with an elbow.

“Maybe.”

“Well, if my day has been wasted enough.  I will be on my way.”  Magnus sounded irritated to be there now they had found nothing.  Magnus swept an arm out opening a portal presumably back to his loft but paused with his back to them. “Alexander, do you remember when you told me “Emotions are nothing but a distraction”?

Jace watched Alec cock his head at the warlock.  “Yes.”

“Use those emotions.”  Magnus sounded choked and he quickly stepped into the portal, expensive suit vanishing along with the portal.

_Well, that was cryptic._

“Do you ever miss him?”  It was Izzy, she was looking at Alec with a strange expression.

“I think I’m supposed to.  He reminds me of Jonathan, a bit.  Come on, let’s go to the courtyard to eat.”  Alec jogged up the steps to the Institute.

_The murderous asshole?  Magnus is the exact opposite._

“You know he misses you.”  Called Izzy after him.

Izzy turned to face Jace, bringing her hands to her hips.  “If you have some issues with Alec and being separate from each other to long maybe you should take that up with him.  Not drag me and poor Magnus on a wild goose chase.”  She tilted her head towards the door.  “That is not a demon.”

Jace turned his head to the side, eyes on the door to the Institute.  “Yeah…definitely not a demon.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Well, since you two don’t want to drop any hints about your love life.  You get to hear about mine.”  Izzy announced as she lay sprawled out in the grass of the courtyard, face tilted to the sun.  Alec leaned against the tree under the shade, while Jace had chosen the wall nearby to use as a backrest.  Alec had given up most of his food to the other two and they now sat comfortably in the sunny afternoon shade.

“Iz, do we need to listen to this?”  Alec rolled his eyes up before sliding them over to Jace.

Alec’s eyes darkened when they met Jace’s brown and blue heterochromia, he could see it even with the shade and a couple feet between them.

“Yes.  Because frankly the two of you suck as lovers now.”

“Hey!  I take offense to that!”  Jace cried breaking eye contact with Alec to glare at Izzy’s form laying in the grass.  “I think I’ve slept with more people than you two.”

“It’s not a competition, Jace.”  Alec coldly stated.

_Fuck.  He should not have just said that._

“Tch.  What I mean is I have more experience understanding love.”  Jace amended.

_Oh god, that was worse._

He heard Izzy’s quiet laughter as she rolled over to look at Jace bemused.  “Care to explain it to those of us who haven’t found it?”

“Alec was the one about to get married.  Twice.  Make him explain it.”  Jace waved a hand at Alec, praying Izzy took the bait.

“Not much to explain.  It ended.”  Alec said flatly, shoulders hunching in tension.

Jace felt his own body tensing in response, awaiting the violence he knew lurked underneath.

“Well, Simon and I seem to be moving towards love.  Maybe that’s where I went wrong before.  I always had sex and then tried for the relationship.  This time I had a friend before we tried for the relationship.”

“Yeah.  Clary and I were the same.  I jumped in blind.”  Jace forced his body to relax in the sunlight, half closed eyes studying Alec.

“You liked making out with her enough.  Everywhere.”  Alec growled lowly at him.

_Would be doing that now._

“Alec has a point.  You did manage to screw up the mission with Clary because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.”  Izzy pointed out.

_Sonofabitch.  Alec told her that!_

“I was drugged!  And if Alec had decided to actually be helpful and shoved some mental images or cold thoughts through those Seelie rings I might have done better.”

“You were-“ Alec began.

“Excellent.  Let’s test it.” Shouted Izzy, digging through her bag.

Jace snapped his gaze from Alec to Izzy who was now looking at the two of them like prey.  He felt trepidation slither its way through his body tensing his stomach as it went.

“Test what exactly?”  Alec growled.

“The Seelie rings.  Put them on.  Share some thoughts.”  Izzy stated still digging through her bag.

“Absolutely not.”  Alec said, standing up.

A link to Alec’s emotions.  A direct tie to communicate their fractured bond.

“Sure.  You have them with you?”  Jace found he had reached out and was holding Alec’s wrist to keep him from leaving.  The skin was shockingly ice cold, followed immediately by the parabati rune flaring from its pulse and burn, burning hotter.

Alec wrenched out of Jace’s grip with a low gasp.  Jace could see Izzy raise one eyebrow.

“Yeah.  I brought them with thinking we would need them for our goose here.”  She handed one Seelie ring to Jace, its silvery color gleaming in the sun, vines of metal twining through the loop.  She handed the other to Alec, who slowly took it but did not put it on.

“Scared?”  Jace challenged as he slid his on over a finger.

“This is pointless.  You aren’t drugged Jace.  This exercise is futile.”  Alec flatly informed them.  “Try it with Izzy.”

“I think you’re scared I might find some hidden dark secret in that pretty brain of yours.” Jace prowled towards him.  He could feel the tension in the air between them.

“I’m not doing this with you now.”

“You’ve been doing this with me since the moment I found you.”  Jace stopped in front of Alec, taking the ring and sliding it over Alec’s finger.

_Red.  Cold.  “Use it!”  Darkness.  “Look what you’ve become!”_

Jace managed to rip the Seelie ring off, head pounding sharply with pain.

Alec handed over his Seelie ring utterly calm and controlled.  “Here Izzy, I don’t think Jace is up for a trip down memory lane today.”

“Your parabati runes are glowing.”  Izzy pointed out, somewhat happily, standing up quickly.

Jace rubbed his head trying to dampen down the pounding and the chill.  “Yeah, I agree with Alec.  Let’s not do that again.” 

_Shiit.  That hurt!_

Jace closed his eyes against the memory of Jonathan Morgenstern’s voice.  That was something he had never wanted in his head again.  That laughter, that thing moving his body, nearly killing Clary, piercing Alec’s lung with the arrow.

_Keep it together._

Deep breathe in.

_Clary is safe.  Alec is…Alec is…_

Jace snapped his eyes open, reaching into himself for the angelic power.  He shoved as much of that energy at his parabati rune that he thought it could handle, activating it.  Golden light shining brighter than before through their shirts.

The response from Alec was instantaneous, he choked before bending over to vomit up something black and tarry.

Izzy scrambled towards him with a cry.

“Next time you go hunting demons for their magic.  You come to me first.  Try and tear me up as much as you want.  Otherwise, I rip it out the hard way.”  Jace rolled his shoulders and flexed one hand, bending each finger.  They moved at his command.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace lay staring up at his ceiling, one hand behind his head, his stele remained unmoving in his other hand.

Maryse had placed Alec essentially on house arrest, even had clipped two bands to track him around his wrist and ankle.  That had been a five days ago.  Izzy had been monitoring his blood each day and had Alec on a strict diet to try and improve blood replenishment to try and curb the magic addiction.  Alec had increasingly been getting more violent during that week, resulting in Magnus coming in to place wards around Alec’s room.  The Silent Brother Zachariah informed them they had everything they needed to cure Alec.  He had not explained how, much to Jace’s irritation.

_Blood.  Magic.  Soul._

He rubbed the hand holding his stele across his face.  He knew he would regret the desperate decision he had arrived at.  But first he needed to speak to a certain redhead.

There was a light knock on his door.

“Hey.”  Izzy spoke softly as she entered before sitting down next to him on the bed, dark hair spilling down her shoulders.  She stayed silent seeming to be battling with some internal argument.

“How is he today?”  Jace asked, knowing she had just come from Alec’s afternoon checkup.

“Physically better, but it’s like he keeps slipping.  I see glimpses of our Alec and then it’s just consumed by this irrational rage.  He keeps asking for you.”

Jace touched the parabati rune its burn had been increasing lately.

“I think I just make it worse.”  Jace turned his body away from her.

“Yeah.  I told you I don’t believe that.”  She paused taking a deep breath.  “I saw how he responded in the cell.  I deleted the videos.”

Jace flipped over quickly to stare at Izzy wide-eyed.  “You knew this whole time?”

_That squeak was not his voice._

Izzy smirked but it didn’t reach her eyes.  “Yeah, I was waiting for one of you two idiots to tell me.  But you kept this strange pattern going and look where it got you.” She waved one hand for emphasis.

“Iz, I’m not sure what I can do anymore to help him.  I was planning on going to the Silent City and speaking with Jonathan about Alec.  There is something that maniac knows that we don’t.”

“You sure distance is what Alec needs right now?”  The barb hit hard.  All he wanted to do was sit down and talk to Alec without it ending in violence.

“I think what he needs is something I won’t give him.”

“Have you thought about it?”  She held a tight-lipped smile that he immediately grew wary of.

Jace threw himself backwards to lay on his back so he wouldn’t need to meet her dark eyes.

“No.”

He could see that tight-lipped smile bloom into a devilish grin.  She smacked him on the arm.  “So what are you waiting for?”

He blinked at her, before scowling.  “Have you seen his mental state right now?  He’s practically insane.  He has zero room to even make that decision right now.”

“Want me to have Magnus move the wards in his room around to allow you to sleep near him?  Like you did outside his cell.  His better days are when you visit.”

He ran a hand over his face again.  Everything was coming back to bite him today.   “I don’t know.  Let me know if you do.  I’m going to talk to Clary before heading to the Silent City.”

He rolled off the bed heading for the door to accomplish this task.

“Jace, he needs you.”

_I know._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The piano had been decorated with all his favorite skulls.  Jonathan had moved them from their places along the walls into a pristine pile on the piano.  Their smiles staring at him in neat rows to provide the audience he played to.

_“You have a visitor.  Jace Herondale.”_ A Silent Brother’s voice bounced through his skull causing him to miss a note.

The rage didn’t arrive as it used too, instead he just picked up where he left off continuing to play until he heard movement outside his sanctuary.

Jonathan’s hands stilled on the keyboard as he brought his red head up to glance casually towards the door.  “Did you break him?” He chuckled darkly.

“I’m here to ask you what happened to his soul in Edom.  What you did to bring him back.”  The dark blond stood glaring at him, those mismatched eyes blazing with fire.

_This took longer than expected._

“You aren’t the Clave.  If you ask me the right questions I might give you the right answers.  Give me the wrong questions and your parabati dies.” Jonathan knew he was baiting the blond but he just couldn’t help it.  The man had been a thorn in his side as a demon and now was too stupid to figure out instinct.

“What did you do to bring him back?” Jace demanded again, arms crossed in front of him, face hard.

“I built him a cocoon of power.  I fed his body any demonic blood I could get my vicious hands on.”  Jonathan conceded this, it wasn’t particularly relevant anyway.

Jace stood for a moment thinking something over.  Jonathan observed that jaw clench in tension.

_“I need him”_

Jonathan despised having a conscience talking to him in Alec or Clary’s voice sometimes.  One of the irritating things about not being a demon he was still getting used too.  He tapped a few notes on the keyboard before speaking.  “He protected me, when the souls of Edom were released.  They would have destroyed my body and soul, but he brought all that power in and protected me, guided them to change me. Then he harnessed it and destroyed everything I knew.  It was glorious to watch.  For one brief moment he was a god.  Magic like that comes at a steep price, that price was his life.”

Jace’s arms had dropped into fists.  “Then how did he survive?  How do I bring him back?”

Jonathan prowled over to the barred door, grinned predatorily when he saw Jace take one step back.  “Your parabati bond saved his soul.  It’s there, locked within your bond seeking a release you will _never_ give him.  Your love for Clary will be the death of your parabati.  I put him in that chrysalis to give him a chance, a debt owed.  That debt was completed the moment he crawled from that shell.  I should have let him vaporize himself with that power, it would have been humane.  It wouldn’t have taken much, just a push.”

“So why didn’t you!?” Jace snarled, he had grown pale.

Jonathan took a step away, moving back over to the piano, running a hand across the keys gently.  “He understood me.  He saw that I could be different, provided me a chance to survive.  I kept him alive because he chose for me to live.  I could only return the favor.”

He picked up one of the skulls, examining it mostly for the sake of Jace and to watch him pale further.  “Tell me.  Has he devoured any demons?  Any particular warlock?  Has he tried to take you yet?  I can imagine the pain of having demonic magic coursing through a body built for angelic blood but with no soul to truly combat it…”

Jace bolted from his view, he could hear his boots pounding down the hallways.  The echoes becoming quieter.

 

 


	4. Dark Stained Soul Ch 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read and find out. :) Magic and souls and my two favorite parabati. Comments appreciated.

**Dark Stained Soul**

**Chapter Four**

By: Evey

 

The stone walls were rushing by him too quickly, turning from grey blocks into a grey blur.  The stone echoing back his footsteps as he madly dashed back towards the surface of the Silent City, relying on memory to get him there.

_Light._

Jace burst out of the Silent City’s gates into fresh sunlight.  Its light filtering down through willowy clouds.  Flame red hair in front of him.  He struggled to take a breath.

_Dirt.  Grass._

“Jace!?”  Clary looked like she had been trying to gain his attention more than once.

“Yeah?”  Jace’s mind was still in turmoil with memories of the Owl and the realization that he was on a timer to save Alec.

“Well, what did Jonathan say?  Did you ask him what you needed too?  Did you see how much he has changed?”  She questioned him rapidly.

“Nothing good.  And he hasn’t changed, he’s still a dick.”  Jace focused on answering the questions and moving past the turmoil.

Clary drew her head back, mouth opening on some retort that didn’t come.

“I need to get to Alec.”  He told her.  It wasn’t much of a plan, but it was a start.

“My brother’s not a dick, Jace.  He’s trying to recover from years of conditioning.  He was trained to kill you.  But instead he gave you the answers you wanted.  Right?”  Her flame red hair was sparkling in the sun, expression fierce.

He stepped around her.

_Valid point.  He’s still a dick about it._

“He has an array of skulls set up like a freaking orchestra.  It’s creepy.”  He said instead struggling to remain on the tentative peace he and Clary had finally managed to find since their break up.  It had only formed due to Jace’s need to question Jonathan, otherwise he would probably still be avoiding her and she would still be sending him a combination of hurt and death glares.

Clary crinkled her nose for a moment.  “Ok, so he has some strange tendencies.”  Her face shifted into concern.  “He told me the Silent Brothers have been approved to use the Mortal Cup to begin replenishing the ranks of Shadowhunters.  I’m not sure how I feel about the Cups useage on mundanes.  It could kill a lot of people.”

Jace brought his full focus towards her turning to face her directly.  “Are you serious right now?  You want to save your murderous brother but cannot accept the loss of a few mundanes who will be given the _choice_ to drink from the Mortal Cup or not.  Jonathan didn’t give all those shadowhunters a choice to live or die!  He just killed them!”

“You’re right.  How could the person that killed Jonathan possibly understand what he’s going through right now.”  She said bitterly, tilting her head up angrily.

“I don’t care what he’s going through Clary.  I don’t.”  He was vaguely aware that he had invaded her personal space, crowding her back, and his fists were clenched tightly in anger.

“Do you still hate him for something he had no control over becoming?”  Clary questioned quietly, dropping her gaze but stood her ground.

Jace could not bring himself to feel any sympathy for Jonathan anymore not after everything he had done willingly.

“Yes.  Always.  There is always a consequence and Jonathan made certain Alec paid that price.”  He spun and left her there in the sunlight.

 

O –O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Magnus stood on the other side of Alec’s door weaving the wards Izzy had requested to contain Alec.  He shifted them around easily to allow for Izzy, Maryse, and Jace to enter the room without endangering themselves.  He could see the magic spark blue with his golden cat-eyes, watched it fade to white there, and solidify into a blue electric beam here.

“Maryse, this is pointless, needless suffering.  His soul remnant is littered with cracks from Edom’s magic.  It’s only because of whatever Jace did that he does not have it gift wrapped in demonic essence.  Send him to the Brotherhood.  What are you waiting for?”  Magnus gave one last flourish with his hands completing the wards within wards.

“My boy is still in there.  Brother Zachariah assured me we had everything we need here to cure him.”  Maryse tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, but otherwise gave no outward appearance of a mother losing her child slowly.

_Jem wouldn’t have lied about something this volatile._

Magnus had accepted Alexander death weeks ago, now it was just a matter of time.  He still did not feel fully prepared for it and yet the Silent Brother continued to drag it out.

“Magnus?  Can you tell if he would become a warlock or demon if this continues?”  Maryse whispered quietly.  She suddenly looked small, her body not as straight as she normally held it.

_Better the terrible truth than the beautiful lie._

“Demon.  He doesn’t have enough soul left to become a warlock.”  He informed her softly.

_A sane one anyway._

“I’ll contact the Silent Brother to have Alec taken to the Silent City.  I won’t continue this false hope any longer.”  She said firmly, voice only slightly wobbling.

Three forms with blond, black, and red arrived rather loudly down the hall.  Arguing and laughing over the sanctity of living a life with Jonathan.

_Ugh.  Clary’s brother.  The abomination that should have died._

There was a flicker of white brushing against his wards.  Magnus cocked his head to the side, dropping his glamour to unveil his demonic golden cat-eyes.

_That’s interesting._  

Magnus turned with a flourish, snapping his fingers together to gain everyone’s attention.  “Jace, I am truly sorry for what you are about to endure in the coming days.”

Magnus noted Maryse had taken her leave, not wishing to burden her daughter with the decision to send Alec to the Brotherhood or become a demon.  Both decisions would result in the loss of his soul and humanity.

“Uh…what?”  Clary was the first to recover.

Magnus noted Jace had gone a strange mixture of pale and red.  Izzy stood hugging herself tightly, all laughter from a moment ago gone.

“Jace is his parabati.  Two souls linked together.  Do you recall what happens to parabati when there is only one left?”  Magnus directed his question at Clary.

She tilted her head and shrugged.

Magnus felt a strong desire to turn her into a rodent.  The redhead had always been too focused on herself and Jace to notice the pain of others until it was too late.

_Stupid, flawed Shadowhunter._

“It’s supposed to be the most painful thing a person can endure.”  Jace whispered, he wasn’t looking at the redhead or Magnus but at the door leading to Alec.

“Yeah, but Alec was fine-“

“You weren’t there, you were off gallivanting through the woods hoping to stop a madman with just two people.  Did you ever stop to think perhaps you required backup, perhaps a platoon?”  Magnus snapped cutting her off.  “Now if you would excuse me.  I have a bottle of whiskey waiting for me at home so I can deal with problematic Shadowhunters.”  He glanced back at the wards one last time before heading out.

“Wait.  Magnus.”  Clary jogged after him, thrusting out a crumpled envelope that appeared to have seen better days.  “It’s from Jonathan.  He wanted to write to the person Alec cared about the most before all of this happened.”

_What the hell does that monster have to say to me?_

Magnus didn’t take it.  Scanning it with his magic, he peered at the envelope like it would burst into flames, before plucking it out of Clary’s hands.

_Curiosity killed the cat._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Alec felt consciousness pulling him back to the surface slowly.  He did not want to go.  It meant awareness of the constant pain and craving.  No dose of angelic blood hidden away and no magic from the demon to soak his arm within.  It had been burned from his veins, _again_.  Jace had expelled the brief reprieve he had managed and since then he had been shifting between hazy wakefulness and delirious sleep.  There were times when he thought he could hear the souls again.  Their angry screams, the moans of lust, feel their envy for Heaven, feel their pride as they destroyed Edom.

_No, that was in the past.  They changed._

There was a memory of blood and someone feeding him.  Of pushing against a cage as it splintered and cracked.

There were a few hours of true sanity each day when Jace would visit and he knew he had begged more than once for Jace to stay.  And the need sat buried in his mind.

There was a loud pulsating sound that was pulling him closer towards the surface.

There was a hand touching his arm, stroking slowly down to rub soothing circles over his wrist.  It eased the need, pulling him closer to the surface.  Felt a white light surrounding him gently.

_I don’t want to wake up…_

He felt something wet slide down his cheek as awareness came back.  With it the dream faded and the icy razor edges returned forcing his eyes open with a snap.

He clenched them tightly against the brightness of the room immediately.

“Alec?”  Jace voice sounded unsure.

He used the blanket to wipe the tears from his face before looking up at Jace.  The first thing he saw was the runed and corded muscle of Jace’s arm still holding onto Alec’s right arm.

“Alec.”  Jace choked it out in a whisper.

“I’m not...”  Alec trailed off unsure what to say, tried for a smile, but knew he failed.

Jace just continued to trace Alec’s arm, sweeping his hand across his chest before resting it over the parabati rune.  “Tell me what you need.”

_Fuck._

Desire and need blew through any defense for control he had built, his mind still hazy from sleep.  Sending his pulse pounding and his breath deepening.

“I need you to listen to me...”  His voice came out to rough, mouth dry, and Alec had to swallow before he could continue.

Jace quirked an eyebrow.  “Just tell me when to jump and how high.  I’ll listen.”  It came out quiet and amused.

Alec found himself staring at the slant of Jace’s jaw and tracing his sculpted body with his dark eyes.

Jace suddenly stood up, balancing on the shifting bed easily, looking down at Alec with a mischievous grin.  “Well, go on.  Tell me.”

Alec’s brain was mush, all he wanted to do was reach out and drag his mouth across parts he knew Jace may or may not let him out of some twisted guilt.

“What?”  Alec managed to say intelligently.

“Tell me to jump and how high.” Jace stared down at him with a small forced grin, eyes darkening with some challenge.

“Ok…jump on the bed ten times and touch the ceiling.”  Alec rubbed at his parabati rune.  Damn, he was confused, numb, and cold.  He went to grab his stele or a blade to carve the angel rune, found it wasn’t where he had placed it.  He noted Jace had started the ridiculous jumping contest to try and touch the ceiling.  He shook his head, trying to clear it.  He didn’t need a blade right now that was stupid.  There was no demon and he was not going to kill Jace for his soul, no matter how tempting it was becoming.

_This isn’t real._

He spotted the silver blade on his dresser.  The angel rune would clear his mind a bit.  He made it halfway across the room before a deafening crack sounded from the bed and Jace.

Alec spun around, crouching low, baring his teeth only to freeze at the sound now coming from Jace.

Jace now lay in the middle of Alec’s bed, which appeared to have collapsed to the stresses of Jace jumping, and he was laughing at himself.

“Shit.  Alec what do you do in here?  I’m not fat.  I’m blaming you.  You broke it before me.”  Jace laughed.

Alec couldn’t recall the last time Jace had laughed, truly laughed.  Wasn’t really sure when he had last laughed either.  He felt a small smile tugging on his face at the absurdity of it.

_Definitely not real._

Good.  He could give in to the lucid dream for longer than a moment again.

“Jace?  You have any idea how much I need you?”  Alec roughly questioned him, watching as Jace’s gaze turned into a smolder directed at him.  A small huff of laughter still escaping him at the ridiculousness of the bed breaking.

Alec was across the room and pinning Jace down capturing that laugh in a heated kiss.

_Fuck.  He’s real._

He felt a moan escape him regardless.  Felt Jace already pulling his shirt over own head, before yanking at Alec’s.  Skin against skin, the heat that caused obliterated any thought from forming.

“The others already left for the night.”  Jace hissed into his mouth when Alec pulled back slightly.  The comment just furthered Alec’s confusion, the need beating against his skull.

He leaned down and bit Jace’s neck before dropping to run open mouthed kisses along Jace’s chest.  Felt Jace running his hands down Alec’s shoulders traveling down his spine.

Alec devoured the touches Jace was giving him seeking more.  Not caring why Jace was responding again, just that the response had him ablaze.

Hands fisted in his dark hair pulling him back into another heated sliding kiss.  Alec reached down to unbutton Jace’s pants and helped him kick out of them barely breaking the kiss.

Alec moved lower, taking Jace in his mouth.  Enjoying the moans and faint gasps Jace was making.

“Fuck.  Not yet.”  Jace gasped out.  Alec just tightened his mouth on him, watching as Jace arched his head back on a silent scream.  Warmth spread across his tongue, forcing him to swallow.

Alec kicked out of the rest of his clothes.  Running his hands up Jace’s body, kissing his way back up and capturing that gasping mouth.

Jace flipped them over, pinning Alec down.  Reaching up with one hand he looped the shirt around Alec’s wrist before tying it to the bed.  Alec growled at him for that move.

“Trust me.  You have a trend lately.  I’ll let you up when I know you are you.”  Jace told him roughly voice still deep, but Alec could see him trembling slightly.

A rush of longing zapped through Alec.  Even in his darkest imagination he hadn’t fully admitted this fantasy with Jace.

Alec closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath.  Both trying to reign in control and let it go.

“Tell me you are ok with this.”  Jace demanded.

Alec opened his eyes and met Jace’s blue and brown heterochromia eyes.  “Tear me up.”  He bit back a groan as Jace started tracing patterns along his arm and chest with a tongue.  “It’s what I need.” Alec admitted releasing a groan and arching into Jace’s hands.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace had never been with a man, not in the way he intended right now.  Could feel himself trembling with nerves.  But hearing Alec admit what he needed brought a crystal clear clarity.  The parabati rune seemed to be dumping arousal back into his system with every pulse.  The previous orgasm having only taken the edge off.

Jace mouthed along Alec’s neck, bit hickeys across his chest, moving his hands down Alec’s Edom stained arm.  Rolling Alec over slowly to repeat the process to his shoulders and back, following the responses of Alec’s body to know where to kiss and touch next.

_“Jace…”_   Alec kept saying his name over and over.  It fed his ego and his confidence level that this wasn’t so different than what he was used to.

He rolled Alec onto his back, careful to not put much pressure on the arm that was still tied, just to feel him continue to move.  Alec was undulating under him, hips thrusting for friction. 

“Please…Jace…”  Alec’s voice was deep and throaty now.

Jace crawled down his body before dropping his mouth over Alec.  Reveling in the cry that tore out of his parabati, feeling the parabati rune start to sync with something deep inside him.

Jace lifted off Alec to look up at him through his lashes, waited until Alec looked down at him.  Brown met heterochromia blue and brown.  “You are mine.  I will never do this with anyone…”

“I know.”  Alec replied breathily, before his eyes dilated as Jace slid his mouth over him holding Alec’s eyes.

Jace tried reaching for Alec through their bond.  Felt a blazing heat meet him halfway, felt it coiling through his side and pulsing through his body in answer to every move Alec made.

Jace swallowed both to contain his nerves and distract Alec for a moment before pulling off and grabbing the oil he knew must still be in Alec’s bedside drawer.  Locating it and figuring out how to prepare Alec went better than he expected.  Alec seemed incapable of more than sounds and his name the entire time.

When Jace pushed into Alec the first time he had no idea what to expect.  But the heat and tightness and Alec’s nearly feral growl of relief pushed him swiftly past any doubts.

_Stay with me, Alec._

Jace could barely keep it together when he felt Alec soul the last two times.  Feeling the tightness around him and Alec’s soul now beating through the bond, he wasn’t going to last.  Jace forced himself to still, dropping his head against Alec’s shoulder, twining their hands together until he had some control back.

When he pulled back enough to look at Alec, Alec’s eyes were impossibly dilated, breathe coming in sharp pants.  Jace smiled down at him, rolling his hips forward, testing.

“Jace, I can’t….I can’t…I’ve tried….”  Alec was begging him now.

Jace brought his mouth down in a slant to keep him quiet.  He already understood the struggle Alec must still be going through, being incapable of finding your own way out.

“Hey, look at me.  I have your soul.  I’ve kept it protected from Edom’s magic unknowingly all this time.  You asked me to give it back.”  Jace rolled his hips against Alec.  “You wanted me to tear you apart for it.  I’ll give it to you.”

They found a rhythm quickly from there.  Carnal pleasure wrapped around two souls as they moved together slowly becoming one.  Jace knew his runes had lit up with angelic light but he didn’t slow their rhythm.  His mind was going foggy from the movement of Alec’s tongue in his mouth that kept matching every thrust.

_I don’t want this to stop…_

Jace felt Alec’s muscles starting to quiver, nails digging into his back and dragging hard, trying to pull Jace deeper.  He obliged easily, changing the slow rolling rhythm into a frantic pounding.  He could feel heat spiraling up his spine, felt their souls fully connect.  Fire burned through his veins and he felt Alec’s orgasm hit him a second before his own did. 

With the rush he felt a shift and the pulsing burn in his parabati rune vanished.  He lay gasping against Alec, breath shattering out of him.

He felt Alec nip at his ear gently.  “I knew you would find me.”  Alec whispered roughly into his ear breath coming just as hard.

Jace reached for him through their rune.  Choked back a sob when he could finally feel the emotions from Alec’s side of the bond.  Buried his head in Alec’s neck pulling him closer.  He never wanted to leave this.

“You told me so many times what you needed and I was too stupid to read it for what it was.”  Fucking hell, there were tears in his eyes.

Alec pulled him back enough to see his face.  Even with the tears he let him gently move him back.

There was a soothing warmth in that gaze that Jace had forgotten Alec used to hold for him every time he looked at him.  The past months of darkness and the bonds pulsing burn had made him nearly forget it.   “That’s not true.”  Alec whispered brushing a kiss against his jaw.

 

O – O – O – O - O – O – O

 

There was warmth streaming in through his window caressing his body, a counterpoint to the warm heat spreading from Jace’s body into his.

_It was real._

Alec turned his head to look at Jace’s sleeping form.  Sprawled across the bed, blond hair matted on one side, hogging as much space as humanly possible, the lines of muscles naked for him to trace with his tongue again.  He had lost track of how many times he and Jace had come together last night.  After his soul had traveled back through the parabati bond seating itself back into his body, safely, they had been unable to keep their hands off each other.  Renewing their bond through touch again and again.

_It worked._

He could still see Magnus’s wards surrounding the room meant to contain him, but they no longer invoked the craving for magic to fill his veins.  Instead the craving had been washed away with their bond and his soul, finally complete again, if not a little battered and cracked but inside him again.  Like an ancient vase pieced together by glue.  That glue would always remain unnamed between them, to name it would be to define their bond into something else.

He tossed a blanket over Jace, tucking it around him as he brushed a kiss on his forehead.  Then he wandered over to the door, placing a hand on the wards, testing if they would let him through or not. 

They did not.

With a mild sigh of irritation Alec crawled back under the covers next to Jace letting his warmth push him back into a doze.

He awoke sometime later to someone hissing Jace’s name rather loudly outside his door.

_Izzy?_

She was hissing through the door as if she was trying to be discrete and failing. “Jace!  Damnit you sleep like the dead.  Wake up!  The Silent Brother is here for Alec.  Wake up!”

That got Alec moving, he dressed quickly.  He glanced at the still sleeping blond before reaching out and yanking the entire blanket off his form in one sharp tug, revealing naked runed skin and muscles.

Jace came awake with a strangled yelp.  Blinking and glaring in Alec’s direction.  “Seriously Alec?  You couldn’t have found a better way to wake me up?”  There was irritation and amusement in his voice as a slow devilish smirk started forming.

“Izzy’s here.  Get dressed.”  Alec informed him, throwing his shirt at him.

Jace caught the shirt before it hit him in the face. 

“Jace!  I know you can hear me!  Supposed to be the best shadowhunter.  Well, the best Shadowhunter is DEAF right now!”  Izzy hollered from the door.  Jace was dressed in record time and yanking open the door before dragging Izzy inside and slamming it shut.

“About time.”  She huffed, eyeing them both.  “The silent brother is here to take Alec to the Silent City.  Did it work?”  She plainly asked.

Both Jace and Alec looked at her dumbfounded, exchanged glances, then remained pointedly silent.

“Oh come on!  I was scarred for life last night because Mom put a camera in here to monitor Alec.  I deleted them by the way, you’re welcome.  Now, did it work?”  She stated it all so demandingly matter-of-fact that both Alec and Jace still didn’t respond immediately.

“Yes.”  Alec finally answered, he took a step just to brush his arm against Jace’s.

Izzy’s face went from business like and slowly morphed into a devilish smirk.  “Wow, Jace is never going to let you live it down that his dick fixed you.” She directed at Alec.

Alec felt his face flame bright red and he turned away from her.  “It was the parabati bond.”  He muttered under his breath.

The door swung open again.  Maryse and a Silent Brother walked through the door unannounced.  Maryse stopped upon seeing all three of them there.  Alec just stared at the Silent Brother.

_Blue hair?  And no stitches._

“Well, I won’t ask why you are all here, but it makes this easier.  Isabelle, your brother is becoming a demon.  Jace, I’m sorry.  I made the decision to send Alec to the Brotherhood last night.  I spoke to Brother Zachariah and he informed me the bond would dissolve naturally and would not cause as much pain as death.”  Maryse’s voice trembled, but her back remained straight.

“No!  He’s…He’s better!”  Jace floundered waving an arm at Alec.  Alec could see he was trying to find an explanation that wouldn’t land them in exile or being forcibly separated.

“He’s right.”  Alec informed them.  Although, he had no idea how to prove this.

_“Alexander Gideon Lightwood allow me to check for the infection in your soul.”_ Brother Zachariah smoothly approached Alec, strange soft smile and flowing grey robes.

_No.  No one touches the bond right now._

Alec found himself withdrawing but an arm came around his back hindering his retreat.  His dark brown gaze jolted towards Jace in confusion.

“You can trust him.”  Jace told him, eyes showing an earnest trust towards this particular Silent Brother that had Alec halting.  Jace didn’t trust anyone linked to the Clave.

The Silent Brother approached them, reaching out a hand towards Alec’s side.  He could see the angelic magic spark under the skin.  It touched his side, he jolted expecting pain.  None came.  The magic just brushed the surface of the rune as if tasting how it worked.  The Silent Brother withdrew his hand.

_“I would say I am disappointed not to be bringing you into the ranks of the Brotherhood today, but I’m not.”_   The Silent Brother informed Alec with a small smile.

_The anvil is going to drop._

Alec tensed waiting for the Silent Brother to declare the bond corrupt, to announce their immediate deruning, or exile.  None of it arrived.

Instead the Silent Brother walked to Maryse.  _“Your son has one of the strongest parabati bonds I have seen.  Your miracle arrived, your son’s soul is present.  I’ll send you the favor later.”_ His voice echoed through their minds.

Izzy burst into happy laughter leaping at her brother to wrap him in a hug.  Maryse looked stunned, like she had fully accepted the death of her eldest and had not processed that he was not actually going to die.  Finally, she moved over to Alec and Izzy giving them both hugs.

“I don’t understand.  How?”  Maryse questioned them all.

“Jace has special angel blood, Alec took out all of Edom.  I don’t think losing half your soul was going to stop him from figuring out how to return to us.”  Izzy supplied.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The favor the Silent Brother had mentioned turned out to be Jonathan Morgenstern.

Jace was in the Ops Center when the tall, redhead arrived, Maryse having just announced the news to himself, Alec, and Izzy.  Apparently, Clary had known he was arriving days ago.  Jace and Izzy had stood stunned and silent while Alec and Clary both looked like a freaking holiday had just landed in their laps.  Jace loathed those looks, this was a mass murdering psycho, in league with Lilith.

A sick feeling of cold and dread was working its way up Jace’s throat as he stared at the man that had made his life hell for weeks.  Felt a jealous spike when Alec easily walked over to the red-haired man, touching their foreheads together and sliding them to the side in a gesture reminisant of a faerie or demon greeting.  It made his stomach turn over.

“Still a sane shadowhunter then?”  Alec asked Jonathan, hands still clasped together.  Jace hated it.

“Such a pure shadowhunter.”  Jonathan’s mouth quirked up in a wry grin.

“Still alive.”  Alec smirked at Jonathan and Jace saw some understanding pass between the two.

“Well, some of us can’t just go around exploding things.” Jonathan’s strange cultured voice flowed easily, mouth still holding that blasé amusement.

“I missed you too.” Alec countered.

Jonathan quirked an eyebrow up.  “Lovely.  Shall I carve another rune into your skin for you?”

“That is beyond creepy to watch.  You sure you fixed him?”  Izzy leaned over to Jace and whispered in his ear.

_No shit.  It’s disgusting._

All Jace could get out was a hum of agreement, stomach twisting sharply.

Alec had barely left his side the past two days and they had spent the nights talking about anything but Edom.  But the passion Alec had shown was never mentioned nor did Jace ever move to recreate that addicting heat.  Seeing his dark haired parabati so at ease with the ex-demon was unsettling, it reminded him of the gap that had formed in their relationship since Clary had tumbled in and they were still trying to recover from.

“Isn’t this great.  Now Jonathan can finally start to repair some of the damage he did.”  Clary sounded far too excited and ecstatic about that idea. 

Jace wanted nothing to do with the man.  Couldn’t figure out how Clary still wanted something to do with him after the demonic twinning rune.  All he could hear was that voice.

_“You will return to find your friends dead…”_

He clenched his hand into a fist, forcing it open, then moving each finger.  They moved.  He released a breath.

Jonathan had approached the Ops Center table now and held out a hand towards Jace and Izzy.  “Shall we try this again?  I’m Jonathan Morgenstern.”  His volunteered the peace treaty like it was nothing.

Jace held his arms crossed in front of his chest, feet apart, every part of him screaming dominant.  Izzy did not look impressed with the hand offered either and mimicked Jace’s stance.

“Don’t worry.  They’ll come around.  You won me over with a bit of water.”  Alec joked as Jonathan dropped his extended hand.

_The fuck?  Water?_

Jace really wanted to know what the hell that meant.  Alec still hadn’t been very forth coming about Edom and its effects even with his soul back.

“Well, now that Jonathan is here.  I am sending you on mission to examine that chrysalis.  Magnus said it was from Edom, I want Jonathan to prove to us he can be useful as we have hit a dead on it these past weeks.”  Maryse informed them.  She and Lydia had split their duties into Downworlder issues under Lydia’s command and demons under Maryse’s.

Jace watched as Alec and Jonathan exchanged quick glances, despised the twisted feeling that was spinning through his gut.

_He knows something._

The thought twisted his gut tighter as he recalled the conversation with Jonathan, it couldn’t possibly be the same.  There was too much blood.

“Will the warlock be attending?”  Jonathan questioned Maryse easily.

Maryse’s gaze drew a sharp bead on Jonathan, she clearly did not trust him and had only approved of his presence due to the Silent Brother forcing her hand.   “No, Magnus will not be called in unless we need him for further firepower.”

“Pity.  This shall be entertaining.” He clapped his hands together appearing excited, before he seemed to realize that it might be taken the wrong way and dropped his hands.

Jace took a few steps towards Alec just so they could touch shoulders as he passed by.  “Don’t get your hopes up.”  He called back to Jonathan.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The walk to the chrysalis location visually was beautiful as they walked through the city.  A sunny sky, light clouds, a cloud passed overhead casting the group in shadow for a moment, before they broke back out into sunlight.  Jonathan unfortunately did not burst into flames as Jace hoped.

“That’s the stupidest thing to use for eye-spy.  Seriously, you have to do better.”  Clary argued back to her brother. 

Jace glanced towards the two red haired siblings behind him.  It was surreal watching the ex-demon laugh and joke, it was almost like he was Sebastian again.  Only now Jace knew what the guy was capable of and no amount of rehabilitation was going to change his mind on that.

“I did win, sister.  It wasn’t my fault the only thing you can think of for gold is Jace.”  At his name the red head glanced towards Jace.

_Stupid charisma._

“Stupid button.”  Jace could hear Clary loudly mutter.

“I spy something that is blue.”  Izzy called from where she was walking beside Alec.

_Traitor._

Jace was not participating in this mundane game that Clary had introduced them to and insisted on teaching to Jonathan.  Apparently, as some sibling bonding ritual.  The fact that Alec of all people was going along with it just served to irritate him further.  Alec was mission oriented, not _playful._

Still it was nice to see Alec smiling again rather than the whiplashing mood swings and violence.  He quashed the urge to drop back beside Alec just to run a hand down his arm.

“Izzy, the sky is blue.”  Alec commented back to her, checking his bow again as they walked.

“Nope.  Guess again.”  Izzy smirked confidant that she could stump them all as Jonathan had. 

“The car we passed.”  Clary said.

Silence held as they walked and the others thought about blue things they had passed.

“Every mundane wears bluejeans.  Those are blue.”  Jace finally commented just because he hated the silence right now.

“Wrong.  Give up?”  Izzy said.

Jace had glanced at her in surprise because he thought for certain it was the only other blue thing they had passed recently which is why he caught her gaze shoot from Alec to Jace and back again.

Jace knew that look.  He smirked at himself.  “Izzy.  Is it my eyes?”  Jace drawled.

Izzy went from confidant to an amused irritation.  “Seriously, how did you even figure that one out?”

Jace shrugged turning back to continue walking forward more smoothly.  “I’m just that good.”

“Wait.  I’ve got one.  I spy something that looks black.”  Jonathan kept his gaze forward.

“Well that is going to be me.  I’m the sexiest one in black.”  Izzy flipped her hair once.  Jace’s mouth fell open before he snapped it shut, she wasn’t seriously flirting with this red haired male.  No, he knew Izzy better than that.  She had Simon and was probably just doing it to gain trust.  A quick glance back at the female redhead informed him she actually looked proud that her brother was starting to break the ice with the others. 

“Stop!”  Alec held up a hand signaling them all to pause.  “No more games.  We’re too close to the chrysalis now and I don’t want to meet any of the demons Jace and Izzy discovered the last time they were here.”

_Guess he was paying attention._

“I was there too.”  Clary muttered in annoyance her lips thinning into a frown.

Alec ignored her moving forward until his shoulder pressed against Jace’s.  “On your lead.”

Jace flexed his hand a couple times, it still responded to his command.  Before focusing on keeping his back to Jonathan and the others as he scouted ahead, seraph blade clenched tightly in his hand.

The blood and bodies that had surrounded the chrysalis and permeated the air with the stench of rot were mostly gone when they reached the enormous red chrysalis.  Maryse had informed them that while other teams had been able to do minor cleanup in other rooms the chrysalis itself had remained untouched by anything they threw at it.  Instead the broken chrysalis had proceeded to draw the blood from the floor and walls into itself even though there was nothing inside.

“I think it might be creepier this way.”  Clary commented shining her witchlight at the red glowing crystal.

Jace had to agree with her.  Especially, given what he now suspected that thing might have actually been for.  Now just how to destroy it.

_Seriously, why didn’t they have Magnus here for this._

Jonathan strolled towards it, dipping a finger inside and examining the sticky substance on his finger.

“Shadowhunter.”  Alec informed him as he walked by, shifting his bow to his back and running a hand along the casing, fingers testing the finer cracks.

Jonathan rolled his eyes.  “I’m not senseless.”

“Well, be useful then.  What is it?”  Jace ordered from his spot within the room, eyes scanning the room for any of the demonic beasts that had attacked them the last time they were here.

_There’s no more blood._

Jonathan looked over at him as if he were dense.  Jace felt his irritation rise.  “This is a chrysalis, used to siphon power and contain magic through a conduit to ensure that what lays inside lives through the transformation.”  Jonathan informed them.

Jonathan glanced over at Alec who was still tracing the cracks on the chrysalis, adding marks on its surface with his seraph blade at certain spots.  The marks were barely visible from the sharp cut of the white blade.

“Based on the thickness it held a greater demon or something interesting.  Whatever broke out had to be broken out early.“  Jonathan indicated the shards along the ground that matched the chrysalis casing.  “Also it’s still alive.” Jonathan wiped his hand on his pant leg, bringing up his own seraph blade and poking at one of the cracks casually.

He said something to Alec but it was too low for Jace to catch it from his side of the room.

“Great.  How do we deactivate it?  It’s a bomb of dark magic waiting to go off right now.”  Izzy stated from her side of the room she was scouting, checking for demonic symbols or anything hidden away.

“My guess.  Blast it with magic.”  Jonathan simply told them, head tilted to the side as he tracked Alec as he continued to make infinitesimal marks along the casing with his blade.

“Yeah.  It ate the last warlock that tried to do that.”  Izzy flatly informed him.

_Guess that explains the absent Magnus._

“Sunlight rune?”  Clary questioned, writing it on her palm before anyone could respond.  Alec reached out, grabbing her wrist and directed her hand at the ground as the rune went off.  Blasting sunlight into the ground and missing the chrysalis entirely.

“What the hell, Alec!  It was going work!”  The red head shouted indignantly yanking her arm in an attempt to get him to release her.

“You don’t know that for sure.  For all you know you would have just been its next victim.  I’m not feeding it angel blood.”  Alec informed her flatly, before bringing his dark head up, muscles suddenly bunching.  Jace could see Clary beginning to frown when an inhuman screech pierced the air, followed by baying and howling of the demons that had just been alerted to their presence.  “Nice job, Fray.  Next time don’t yell.”  Alec released her wrist drawing his bow out and notching an arrow.

Whatever snide retort Clary was about to throw at Alec was bitten off as a large scorpion like demon skittered through the door they had entered the room from.

Izzy’s whip whistled through the air cleanly wrapping around the demons venomous tail as she dragged its body towards her and dispatched it with a seraph blade through its body.

Jace had already moved to the door as Izzy dragged her prey in.  He sliced through two white faced demons as they careened into the room on large batlike wings, but was forced back when he saw the incoming tide.  The hallway was filled with demons crawling along the ceiling and hallways.

_Shiit.  Where did they all come from?_

“Alec!  Izzy!  Better make another exit fast!”  Jace yelled back to them.  Ducking one demon’s deadly claws and impaling another.

Twelve more demons landed within the room forcing Jace to retreat with Izzy, both backing behind Clary who used her sunlight rune to blast a brilliant beam of white-yellow light through them quickly.  The demons were quickly replaced crawling over the dead and leaping towards them shrieking.

Jace spun with his blade out searching the room for an exit, anything that could get them into a decent defensible position.

_Damnit._

He couldn’t see one, unless they took the path straight down which looked to be filling up with demons crawling up from below as well.  His parabati rune gave a warning pulse, Alec’s emotions coming through were tortured and heated.

Jace managed to chance a glance towards where arrows should have been streaming from.  Alec stood stock still facing Jonathan who was telling him something that Jace couldn’t make out over the cacophony of demon howls.

Jace threw himself into a roll coming up besides the two yelling a curse for them join the battle.  He spun to slice through another demon with his blade.

Jonathan was ignoring the demons, staring intently and clutching at Alec’s right arm, hissing desperately.  “You held everything in your grasp.  Berinth will destroy this realm.  You did it.  You burned with it.  Everything those souls felt every hateful envious thought.  Every desire, every greedy need.  You took it and you used it.  Now reach out and take it, be the destroyer one last time.”  Jonathan’s voice had grown stronger, more forceful leaning forward manically as he spoke.

That little speech made his blood run cold.

_Don’t listen to him._

He knew the bond could never send thoughts, but right now he really wished it would.  He sent his desperation for Alec not to do whatever Jonathan was asking through the bond.

A demon larger than the rest entered the room wearing all red and had what might have been a melted gold crown on its head.  “Jonathan.  What an unpleasant surprise to see you here with your new angel.”  The demon smiled showing all its pointed razor sharp teeth, it spoke in perfect cultured English.

Jace dropped into a defensive crouch with his seraph blade forward, pulling out a dagger to hold in his other hand.

“Use it!”  Jonathan yelled.

Jace froze unable to make the required jump attack at the demon instead swinging his gaze towards Alec.

Alec had his right hand against the chrysalis and Jace could see the black Edom stained veins turning brilliant red and orange rapidly.  Red light traveled up Alec’s neck and across part of his face into his eye which sparked red.  He saw Izzy had reached for her brother but was being held back by Jonathan.

_No…_

Alec stood with a hand splayed against the red chrysalis, eyes closing and dark head tilted back.

The gold crowned demon face twisted and it screamed in rage, every demon in the room changing tactics to charge towards Alec.

His parabati rune was burning again.  Alec looked towards Jace rather than the demons meeting his eyes with a small smile.

_Don’t do this._

The chrysalis warped and melted around Alec’s hand oozing over his arm before the entire thing exploded.  The demons vaporized as the magic washed over them, the largest demon threw a bolt of yellow magic at all of them, red cascaded over it before it hit.

Clary shouted something about the building collapsing, but Jace couldn’t tear his gaze from Alec engulfed in that red magic.  And then he understood the small smile.

_“Come find me.”_

Activating his parabati rune he pushed at the pulsing heat from his own side and walked slowly through the maelstrom of magic surrounding Alec.  None of it harmed him, he could see debris falling around them but his focus remained on his parabati.  When he reached Alec, he ran his hand over the parabati rune on Alec’s side, golden light spilling from it.  The magic imploded into Alec for a moment, before exploding through the ceiling blasting a hole through to the roof.

Everything went dark.

Darkness greeted Jace when he regained consciousness.

He went to sit up.  He couldn’t.  There was a dark weight laying across his chest. A spike of fear hit his bloodstream.

_You’re fine._

He could barely move him arms and legs.  A cold icy feeling started to sweep through his body. 

_No.  No, this was not happening._

He was trapped under a building and couldn’t move.  He clenched his fist, it moved.  It didn’t abate the panic that was building.  He moved his fingers in the usual ritual to remain calm.  The dread kept building.

_Come on stay calm.  What had Simon said ages ago about senses?_

He wished he had not just written off what the vampire had said.  All he could recall was something about sight and touch.  Well, sight was fucking darkness.

_It’s the same._

Touch was caged in by rocks and debris.

_The cage again.  Clary was dead beside him._

_“I don’t love you.  Not anymore.”_

_“Take that dagger and stab it through her heart.”_

_“You will return to find your friends dead.”_

_“You will beg for death.”_

_“..loss of his parabati.”_

His parabati rune felt warm informing him that somewhere Alec was attempting to reach him.  He could not see Alec though just darkness and black greeted him each time he turned his head.  The panic turned from harsh breaths to screaming to crying.  Sobbing, pleading.  A weight was lifted off of him.

Bright light.

“I found one!  Jace.  Jace, hey, hey I’ve got you.”  Cold hands slid under him pulling him into the light.  Simon stood among the rubble of what used to be the building.  Jace felt himself sway dangerously, Simon kept a hand on him guiding him through the rubble.  Enormous chunks of rubble floated suspended in the air before being hurtled to the side with blue sparkling magic.

_Simon.  Magnus._

His mind noted that Magnus had to be here pulling the rubble off of them.  His parabati rune hurt.  Everything hurt, everything felt numb too.

“Ok.  Ok, Sit.  Shit, I don’t have any water.  Just, just stay there and _don’t_ move.  I can smell the others.  I’ll be right back.”  Simon reassured him before vanishing from his line of sight. 

Jace sat there numbly.  His mind still trying to reel back from the edge.

Red hair and a feminine form was the next to be guided out of the rubble.  Simon said something about angel blood being easier to smell and was gone again.

Jace looked at Clary trying to figure out if she was real or not.  She was bruised and had a scrape over one cheek.  Her arms filled with tiny cuts and scrapes from the demons and the rubble.  Her eyes were impossibly wide.

He pulled her into a hug choking back a sob.  “Clary.  I’m sorry.”

She immediately returned the hug, tightening her embrace.  “It’s ok.  I’m sorry too.”

“Are you all this fluffy after a mission?”  Jonathan’s voice drawled from the rubble as he dusted himself off holding one arm a little awkwardly, it was clearly broken, but he barely acknowledged it.  Simon was helping Izzy out, she appeared to have a leg broken from the rubble.

Jace ignored Jonathan despite the cold feeling still roiling around inside him.  Grabbing Izzy’s hand to help give her the needed boost from Simon’s arms to make it over the last line of rubble.  Clary was drawing an Iratze on her before she fully touched down.

“Parabati rune still intact?”  Jonathan nonchalantly questioned Jace as he started drawing his own Iratze rune.  Jace could feel the parabati rune humming softly under his skin, it was there pulsing softly with an unknown emotion. 

Izzy was looking at Jace expectantly.

“Yeah.  It’s there.”  He offered more for Izzy and Clary’s benefit than Jonathan, still feeling numb.

“Good.  Bastard didn’t deserve to die.  Rather like the idiot.”  Jonathan conceded, rolling his shoulder and arm around as the rune took effect.

Simon arrived with a battered and bruised Alec over the rim of the rubble.  Simon dragged Alec along under the arm, practically picking the taller shadowhunter up when he slipped.

The numbness faded at the sight of his parabati, spreading into a warmth Jace was beginning to recognize as a need to be close to each other.

Jace found himself jogging over to them, clutching Alec in a tight hug, running one hand down Alec’s right arm checking the extent of the injuries.  “Don’t ever do that to me again.  I thought you left me.”  Jace whispered hoarsely.  The arm appeared surprisingly normal, the black veins still remained but there was no charcoaled flesh or black skin he had been expecting.

Alec leaned his head onto Jace’s shoulder.  “It was easy this time.”

Jace pulled back to arm’s length, searching Alec’s face, trying to understand.  “Easy?  You call that easy.”  He wasn’t sure if he sounded indignant or relieved.

“It worked.  It’s gone.”  Alec ventured.

“Yes.  Some of us would love to know how that occurred.”  Magnus stood watching them with a perturbed look on his face.  “Well, I’m not inviting _that_ over.”  He pointed at Jonathan.  “But the rest of you can come to the loft.”

“Magnus, Jonathan comes with us.”  Alec firmly ordered, lifting his head from Jace but not moving away.

Magnus searched Alec for a long moment before his gaze transformed into surprise.  “I see.  Always preferred the demonic.  He can tag along then, but don’t blame me if he returns home with you as a lab rat.”

“See.  I told you it would be entertaining.”  Jonathan grinned sardonically.  “Oh and Magnus.  I do believe Berinth can be marked off your list of things to worry about.”

The warlock shot Jonathan a look of disbelief.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Magnus’s loft appeared the same as when Jace had last seen it.  Dark rich colors, ornate artwork, and expensive taste oozed off every surface.  Magnus had shifted around several dark couches so they could all remain laying down or seated while Magnus worked his healing magic over them.

Alec had pressed a leg against Jace’s when he sat down next to him.  Jace didn’t pull away and instead pulled Alec’s right arm into his lap so he could trace the lines he saw that red magic spiral through.

“You ok?”  It was Simon handing Jace a glass of orange juice.

_I don’t know._

He still felt numb like a part of him was still stuck in a loop with the Owl.  And he kept glancing towards Clary to make sure she did not have a seraph blade sticking out of her.

Jace lifted his gaze towards Simon.  Usually the two were at odds with each other but still he held respect for the vampire.  And well he supposed the vampire was closer now that he had been dating Izzy.  “Yeah.  I’m alright.”  He informed the vampire taking the offered glass.

Simon handed the other glass in his hands towards Alec.  Alec just shook his head at the offered glass looking queasy.

Jace dropped his hand to the parabati rune on Alec stroking once.

Alec took the offered glass of juice from the geeky vampire, but didn’t attempt to drink it.

“Alexander,” Magnus strode towards the two but stopped several feet short, head cocked to the side inspecting them.  “I won’t ask which handsome shadowhunter managed to bring your soul safely back into your body.  But I am eternally grateful you are healed.”

Alexander blinked up at Magnus, tilting his head to the left not quite meeting his gaze.  After a pause he looked directly at Magnus “Magnus, I can’t pick up where we left off.  Even with my soul stitched together, there’s a vital piece that needs…that has changed.”

Jace felt something warm spread through his chest at the words, hid the smile by taking a sip from his glass of orange juice.  Magnus zeroed in on Jace regardless, expression morphing from controlled to mild surprise.

_Damn hundreds of years of social practice._

“Mind if I speak to Alexander alone.”  Magnus requested, but Jace could still hear a possessive note.  It had only been a few months ago they were trying to defend Alicante from the demon hordes.  That Alec had every intention of marrying the warlock.  Unease and something possessive coiled inside him as Jace realized that now that Alec had his soul back Jace wasn’t sure where Alec stood with the warlock anymore.  It’s not like he and Alec had spoken about what had occurred.

Alec slid his hand down Jace’s back.  “I’ll be right back.”

Jace hummed noncommittally because throwing a fit about Alec leaving to talk to essentially a possible ex seemed too childish and selfish even for him.  He watched the two wander over to the outside balcony before consciously bringing up other things to think about.

Instead Jace chose to focus on battling the issue he could control.  Clary and the fact she was alive.  Alive and sitting happily next to the murderous brother.

_Seriously, what do you see in him?_

Taking a deep breath to control his still frayed nerves Jace wandered over to the two red heads.  Better to control the situation than let his mind start wandering again.  “Alright start talking Jonathan.  One, how did you know that demon’s name?  Two, how did you know Alec could do…that?”

_Ok, not quite the greeting he was aiming for._

Jonathan turned away from Clary to look Jace over.  Before lifting one middle finger to Jace.  “One, I met that particular demon while I was raised by Lilith.”  He lifted his index finger. “Two, I built that chrysalis for him after our exit from Edom.  He was rather unstable.”

“Be nice.”  Clary admonished her brother before questioning. “So is Alec a warlock now?” 

“Nope.  Granted he could have tried doing so without dropping a building over our heads.  Personally, I’m ecstatic to finally be rid of both him and that chrysalis.”  He leaned back against the black ornate chair then inclined his head towards Jace.  “They were ticking time bombs, you just clipped a few wires.  Thank you for that by the way.”

Wariness and unease crept through Jace and he shifted away from Jonathan.

Izzy snapped her phone shut from where she had been talking to her mom on another chair.  “Well, you can thank Mom for sending Magnus and Simon after us.  Apparently, we were all under that rubble for a couple hours.  When none of us checked in she sent them after us.”

The fact Maryse had not sent a contingent of Shadowhunters and instead went to Magnus Bane and a lone vampire said much about what she had expected them to find.

“So..um…what’s it like not being a demon anymore?”  Simon’s question directed at Jonathan stilled the four in the room.

Jace watched as something akin to vulnerability shifted across Jonathan’s face before settling back into his usual indifference.  “It’s different.”  He informed Simon before falling silent and saying nothing more on the matter.

_Because that cleared that right up._

“Cool.  Think Alec could take out another hellish realm and cure me of being a vampire?”  Simon joked flopping down on the couch where Alec had just vacated.

“Alec isn’t going anywhere near any hellish realm.  Ever.”  Jace snarled bypassing the attempt at a joke entirely.

Simon looked taken aback before brushing it off with a grin. “Well, I mean the shadow world is all kinds of fucked up.  You’ve got evil fairies and ex-demons.  And well you said before there are tons of hellish realms.  Why aren’t there any extra heaven realms?  We could always try for that instead.  Find a nice fluffy heaven realm and throw me in there.  Who knows maybe I’ll come out all glowy and stuff.”

Jace stared at Simon unsure if the vampire had lost it or if he was trying for a really bad joke to ease the tension.

“Simon are you going to have sparkles when you come falling back to Earth?”  Clary questioned wryly.

Simon’s forced grin turned into a real smile at that.  “I’m not Edward Cullen.  I would come back with awesome white wings and glowing eyes and shoot lasers out of my hands.”

“Lasers?”  Jonathan sounded vaguely confused by that term which sent Clary laughing.

“Plus he would be incredibly sexy.”  Informed Izzy as she hobbled over to them testing out her leg gingerly, two books tucked under an arm.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Magnus stood facing out to the city on the balcony.  Lights of other buildings flickering in the distance and the sounds of the street remained muted due to the warlocks wards.  Alec let his gaze study the warlock, same dark expensive suit, rings on his fingers, some new red dye in his hair today.  Alec shifted uncomfortably in the silence.  Alec knew they needed to talk about the fact he had not contacted Magnus once since obtaining his soul back.  Talk about why he could never be with the warlock again.

“It was Jace wasn’t it?”  Magnus said quietly into the air.

Alec’s heart stopped.  _Yes._ “What?”

Magnus turned to face him, metal on his chest and hands glinting in the low light.  “Alexander, I have not been born yesterday.  I know when someone is avoiding me.  I also know when things shift and change between people.  It might be subtle but it is always there.”

Looking at Magnus now made him remember the late night conversations, the ridiculous dates, and the heat of skin on skin and the feeling of waking beside the warlock.

Alec closed his eyes against the memories he had of Magnus, even with his soul back he could not let go of Jace now that he had tasted him to pick up where he had left off with Magnus. “It’s complicated.” He whispered.

Magnus gave him a sad smile.  “Nothing complicated about it.  Alexander, I gave back the engagement ring before you even left that cell months ago.”  He held up a hand when Alec went to protest.  “I choose to give it back.  You sold your soul to release me and all those poor unfortunate souls.  Your love for me destroyed an entire realm and I don’t think I’ll ever match that.  But when I saw you in that cell, I could not see my Alexander’s soul looking back at me.  I knew I had lost you even then.”

“Magnus, I’m sorry.” Alec whispered forcing himself to maintain eye contact.

“Don’t be.  I’m glad you are whole again.  I am not demanding anything of you.  He holds a piece of you that I could never touch.”  The warlock’s voice sounded to understanding, to broken.

Alec clenched his hands tight behind his back because he had no idea how to approach this but needed to try.  Magnus deserved that much.  “Magnus I went to Edom to get you out.  I succeeded and will never regret that nor will I regret where that decision lead me.”

Magnus summoned two drinks for them, something pale colored Alec recalled from one of their dates that he had enjoyed.  Magnus handed one to Alec and he took it reflexively.  “Someone once told me.  ‘Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is, and you must bend to its power or live a lie.’  You held onto lies much of your life Alexander and you always tried to be better than them.”  Magnus reached out to touch Alec’s Edom stained arm.  “This has given you lies, built upon power and desperation.  Do you really believe this new feeling will last?”

Alec turned his head away from Magnus, he could vaguely recall what it felt like to love this man but it all felt so pale in comparison to the feelings he felt burning softly in his parabati bond.  “You once told me there is no honor in living a lie and that I should start living for myself.  You taught me that, you showed me that.  And what happened to bring me back…  I can’t leave him.”

Magnus put a finger under Alec’s chin applying pressure lightly until Alec was looking directly into the warlock’s eyes.  “Does he love you?  Can he love you how you want?”

_We’ve never said it._

It sent a lance of pain through his chest.  Because even after everything between he and Jace, he was still too much of a coward to say it out loud.  The old fear of years of hiding and repressing his feelings choking him every time the urge rose up.

He ignored the red sparks forming in his vision as his emotions surged.  Clamping down on the power hard.

There was laughter coming through the door from the others.

“I don’t think I could have found my way back if he didn’t.”  Alec said vehemently, jerking his head out of Magnus’s touch.

Magnus set his drink on the table tossing a blue orb of magic in the air to start spiraling around him.  An old calming meditative tactic Alec recognized.

“Are you going to be ok?”  He asked the warlock.

Magnus’s brow furrowed and he turned away.  “I came to terms with your loss a long time ago.  But it feels like I am losing you all over again today.  I’ll be ok, but I think you should go.”  Magnus gave a soft scoff.  “The loft is big enough for everyone to avoid each other for one day at least, excluding an awkward dinner.”

Alec watched him sway and undulate his arms and hands back and forth, the blue orb following and crackling slightly.  Then he turned and headed back inside.

 

O – O –O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace felt amusement bubbling up inside him regardless of the fact Jonathan sat across the room from him.  Maybe it was the relief of being free of that building.

Simon was standing on one of Magnus’s ridiculously expensive couches holding two books and aiming them at Clary making strange “pew pew” noises.  She was jumping from couch to couch screaming at Simon something about strawtroopers….maybe stormtroopers and their inability to hit a thing.

But that wasn’t what had him nearly laughing.  No, it was the sudden appearance of bells on Jonathan’s wrists, ankles, and neck.  Magnus was still outside on the balcony talking to Alec but Jace had no doubt the poof of blue magic that had coalesced into shiny bells was from Magnus.  They tinkled rather loudly every time the red-haired man moved.

_I could hug that warlock._

Jonathan was currently tugging at one wrist trying to extract the offensive, tinkling object from his arm with a growl.  That sent Jace over, he burst out laughing at the clear annoyance and growing rage on the ex-demons face.  He heard Izzy laughing as well from where she sat with one of Magnus’s books she had swiped off the shelf.

Jonathan stopped moving to slowly glare at the two of them.  “Can one of you get your attack dog to get these off me?”  He snarled at them.

_Oh.  This is going to be great._

Jace crossed his arms and leaned back as Clary launched herself past him screaming about jedi powers.  “Nope.  I think Magnus got it perfect.  The bells are a great accessory, makes it hard to sneak up on anyone.  Kind of like a lumbering sprite.”

Jonathan’s eye twitched.  Jace smirked.

“And what does that make you?  A deaf warrior?  This lumbering sprite beat you up more times than I can count.”   Jonathan tugged on the bell at his neck, it tinkled loudly refusing to come loose.

_Best warrior in New York._

Jace chuckled, surprised at the banter before reminding himself that Jonathan used to be charismatic before.  “Still killed you.”  He said coldly to even the playing field back to his hatred.

Jonathan launched himself off the sofa at Jace, bells tinkling loudly, only to be brought up short by a dark form getting between them.  Grappling Jonathan around the waist and throwing him to the ground.  “Don’t.”  Alec warned him.  The sound of the bells faded.

“Your parabati started it.”  Jonathan hissed petulantly.  Alec just raised one eyebrow at him before flicking one of the bells sending off the loud chiming noise again.  Jace snorted back a laugh.

“Magnus!”  Clary wailed.  “Take those off Jonathan!  He looks like a freaking cat!”

“The great lumbering cat sprite.”  Izzy tried to keep a straight face as she said it but failed miserably.

Magnus walked in from the open balcony fixing his jacket he was sliding on.  “No.  I don’t trust it.  It keeps the bells.”

Jace and Izzy exchanged gleeful looks.  Clary stood aghast staring at Magnus like she couldn’t believe he wouldn’t jump at her newest order.

“Magnus.  Jonathan has a name.  Use it.”  Alec flatly ordered the warlock rising from where he had knelt over Jonathan.

Jace watched as Magnus’s entire body tensed, eyes flashing from brown to gold.  “Alexander, you asked for my assistance.  You have it.  Stay here for 24 hours, then remove _it_ from my home before I do something drastic.”

_Guess that conversation did not go the way Magnus planned._

“Um…could we order food or at least send Simon out to get some?”  Clary asked, having accepted her brother was going to be stuck with cat bells for the duration of their stay.  Jace smiled again at the thought.

_Demonic lumbering cat sprite._

Magnus surveyed the catastrophe that was his living room before sighing.  Sofas had been moved around during Simon and Clary’s impromptu recreation of some movie scene.  Izzy had a stack of books she had pilfered from the shelves without managing to set off any alarms or wards.  “Fine.  Come up to the roof I’ll set something up.  I know Simon’s diet.  What does it eat?”  He cocked his head watching Alec and Jonathan, who had now sat up and was still impatiently pulling at the bell on his neck like it was strangling him.

_I hope it does._

Alec crossed his arms.  “ _Jonathan,_ eats the same food as the rest of us.”  Alec stated flatly.

“Could just give him the emotions of the damned.  Should shut him up for a bit.”  Izzy gleefully informed her brother, he shot her a dark warning look.  Izzy rolled her eyes at her brother before crossing her arms.

Jace opened his mouth to join Izzy in the destruction of Jonathan only to snap it shut when Alec’s dark gaze swung to glare at him.

“All of you go get cleaned up.  Changes of clothes are kept in the hallway to the right of the front door.  Staircase to the upper floor is through there.”  Alec pointed towards one of the side doors along the wall.

It made Jace realize just how familiar Alec was with this particular loft.  Hell, Alec had spent nearly a month here every night.  Jace swallowed back that uncomfortable feeling.

“Great.  Alec come on.”  Jace didn’t wait for a response from his dark haired parabati, grabbing his wrist and hauling him over to the closet where Alec had pointed out the spare clothes.  Once he selected some that appeared like they should fit and were surprisingly black, he shoved them in Alec’s arms.  He tossed some towards Izzy and Clary, grabbed his own, before dragging Alec towards one of the spare rooms to get changed.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Jace dropped his clothes, yanking the leather sleeve of Alec’s jacket up enough to expose the Edom stained arm hissing lowly.  “What was that?” He demanded, pressing a hand against the dark marks.

_The red inferno of magic travelling up the arm…_

Alec twisted his arm face closing off, Jace tightened his hold not letting go.  “Come on Alec.  You just used magic and everyone wants to tiptoe around the fact you just dropped a building on us.”

Silence.

“I didn’t mean too.”  Alec eventually said.  “The chrysalis recognized me.  It was…safe.”  He closed his eyes so Jace’s couldn’t read anything in them.

_Safe?  It ate a warlock!  What part of demonic chrysalis is safe?_

Jace found himself weakly snorting at Alec’s response.  “I thought you were…damnit Alec…I just got you back.  Actually back not the weird person you were before.”

Alec’s gaze snapped back onto Jace’s in a heated clash.  “Did you like the other me?  Out of control and mad?”  There was real anger in his eyes now along with something darker.

Jace swallowed aware of their proximity suddenly, of the heat radiating off Alec in waves.  Clearly, Alec had issues with how he had acted towards Jace before.  He had to swallow again before he spoke throwing as much confidence into it as he could.  “You developed a pattern with me that made it predictable to know when you might switch gears from violence to trying to rip my clothes off.”  Jace threw a cocky smirk that was instantly wiped off his face.

Alec snarled actually baring his teeth and for a half second Jace thought Alec was going to punch him, felt his body tensing to deflect the attack.

“So did the bond force you?”  Alec practically hissed it out entire body locked tight, cords on his neck starting to stand out.

The idea had never crossed Jace’s mind.  He had just gone with instinct trying to reach Alec each time.  But now that he thought about it, he didn’t think it did. 

“It never forced me, Alec.”  He whispered gently reaching out a hand to touch Alec’s shoulder.  Alec pulled away harshly, putting distance between them, his mouth twisted into a grimace.

“It just made you break up with Clary.  Made you seek me out until you could pass my soul back.”  Alec laughed bitterly.  “I should have seen it the moment I was aware.”

Jace reached out through their bond, he could still sense Alec, feel the emotional turmoil that was roiling through him.

_What the hell did Magnus just say to him?  Or was this the damn chrysalis?_

Jace steeled his expression, lifting his head up to stare Alec down.  Only he couldn’t there was too much anger and hurt in that gaze.  “You were always Alec to me.  Regardless of your mental faculties.  I planned…It was my intention to have you that night.”

Alec froze, expression morphing into shock.  “Did you know?”

“That I had your soul inside me?  Yeah, the Silent Brother told me weeks before that.  I just didn’t know how to transfer it back.”  Jace leaned back against the door watching Alec slowly back away from him.  “I wanted you.  I wanted to feel your soul against mine again before the Brotherhood took you.”

Alec made a strange strangled sound.

“Tell me about the chrysalis.”  Jace whispered softly, trying to steer the conversation away from that night and onto something more practical.  Alec sat down heavily on the bed, running his hands through his hair causing it to spike up at strange angles staring at the floor.

“I wanted it.”  Alec eventually said into the quiet.  “It was just remnants of what the souls gave me.  I don’t even fully recall how Jonathan directed me into creating it.  He couldn’t, he wasn’t a demon anymore.  He just brought the blood and told me how.  The souls traveled to heaven but what they left behind was pure power.  The same power I used to destroy Edom, the same power I used to heal myself and recreate Jonathan.”

Jace had gone stock still.  He barely dared breathing.

Alec’s tone shifted into an eerily grim tone.  “Whatever was left he demanded I inject into the chrysalis while I was still inside.  I didn’t want to leave so he cut me out. Our plan was always to return and dismantle it, soak up the power in increments and disperse it naturally as magic.  I think something went wrong because he started carving the angelic runes into me over and over and over again.”  Alec dug his hands tightly into his hair pulling.  “And he dragged me from it, from that warm power.  For so long I craved it, but couldn’t find it.  When I finally did, you and the others were always watching me.”  His tone shifted into something darker. “I hated it.”

_Jonathan saved us._

The revelation did not sit well with Jace this truth resonated his carefully constructed view of Jonathan tearing it asunder.  Jace still didn’t move from his spot against the door, too afraid to break Alec’s recollection.

Alec lifted his head to look at Jace.  Jace had to flatten his palms into the door because that dark, lost look.

_“You left me.”_

That past memory brought with it how Alec had appeared when they first brought him in, he looked like that now, feral with a rage simmering under the surface and…

_Stop thinking._

“Then I started craving you.  Your presence, your blood, your touch.  Anything just to ease the pain.”  Alec’s voice came out rough.

Jace held Alec’s gaze as the other searched Jace’s eyes for something, before Alec cut his gaze away.  “Alec, I’m not leaving you.”  It was the only thing Jace could think to say. 

“Why?  I’m not even sure what I am anymore.”  Alec glanced back at him waving a hand towards the dark stain spider webbing across his right arm.

Jace pushed off the door, latching it as he did so.  The sound of the light click had Alec’s gaze snapping up from where he had been staring at his arm.  There was heat in that gaze.  The blond chose a roundabout way to sit down on the bed, giving Alec plenty of space and time to see him approaching.

_It’s like a part of him is still wild._

“Remember when Clary first showed up and I went through like four last names in a summer?  I felt the same way you are now.  I had no idea who I was, except I was still Jace.  I was still your parabati.  I was still a warrior.  I knew who my friends were, I held onto that.  It helped me sort through it.”  Jace sat down behind Alec leaving plenty of space.

Alec let out a shuttering breath not turning to face him.  “What if I give in?”

_Give in to what?_

Jace clenched his hands to keep from reaching out and touching Alec.  He felt like it would break the spell that seemed to have fallen over his parabati.  “Alec, is there any magic still out there you can use?”

“No.  Yes.  It’s gone.”  The pure devastation in Alec’s voice drove Jace forward until he had his arms wrapped around him.  “I keep waiting-” Alec cut off on a shuddered breath.

His mind was attempting to digest everything Alec had told him.  So much made sense now.  So much didn’t.  “Ever think that the reason you…searched for me.  Wasn’t because of something Edom did to you but because you were trying to heal yourself in the only way you understood how.”  Jace asked him not releasing his grip.

Alec tensed drawing an arm back, the expected attack never came.  “Why did you come to me?”

_This is why I don’t do emotions._

Jace scrambled for an explanation in his head.  Something witty or plausible to why he let Alec mark him when he wouldn’t even let Clary near himself anymore.  All his brain stupidly supplied him with was the remembered pulse and burn within the parabati rune and the deep ache every time they came together and he could feel Alec’s soul for a moment.

At least now the rune seemed to be working normally, he could always feel Alec now.  Feel the heartbeat of another soul against his own.

Alec shifted slightly, forcing Jace to realize he had gone quiet a beat too long.  “Because we’re parabati.  I had to find you.”  _I_ _love you._

Those three words used to be so easy to say to Alec, now they held an even deeper meaning and Jace found it harder to admit aloud.

Alec turned in his arms but kept his head buried in Jace’s neck.

“Would you again?”  The pure heat in that voice hit Jace’s neck before shooting down his spine.  It left him reeling for a moment feeling their shared rune begin to heat.  He turned his head to brush a kiss along Alec’s jaw, running a hand along Alec’s arm up to his shoulder.

“We should meet the others.”  Alec informed him before turning his head enough to capture Jace’s mouth.  Jace opened to him instantly, not caring if they were late, letting the heat and warmth of that mouth surround his senses.

_Fuck the others.  I want this._

Alec, unfortunately, pulled away disentangling their limbs.  Something of a feat since Jace had practically crawled into Alec’s lap sometime during that kiss and they were balancing precariously on the edge of the bed.  He stared down at Jace, lips slightly parted and red, eyes dark with desire.

Jace watched mesmerized as Alec slowly lifted his torn shirt up and off his body revealing the runed skin underneath.  Jace found himself swallowing hard when Alec dropped his hands to his pants, removing them as well.  He scanned the dark runes, the flowing muscles, traced the dark lines of Edom with his heterochromia eyes.  Lines that extended further than he remembered.

Then Alec reached over and tossed the new, clean shirt over his head.  Jace gaped in shock, mouth falling open.  He grabbed a pillow from behind him and threw it at Alec’s head.

“Bastard.”  He yelled, only it came out low and husky.  Alec batted the pillow away easily.

Alec raised an eyebrow at him before advancing towards Jace.  Jace smirked grabbing a fistful of Alec’s shirt, twisting, and throwing him on the bed with a surprised “omfph.”

Jace tore his clothes off as Alec recovered, turning over to watch Jace.  He noted Alec lick his lips subconsciously and grinned to himself.  Then he dove for the door where his pile of clean clothes still remained, managing to pull his pants on before Alec slammed him into the wall biting his neck before lavishing open mouthed kisses along Jace’s neck.

Jace arched into that touch, bit back a groan when Alec palmed him through his pants.  “Going to be late for dinner.”  Alec told him, pulling away with a smirk.

_Don’t care._

There was the click of the door unlocking that made Jace snap his eyes down to where Alec’s hand had drifted too.  It was resting on the lock.  “You would never go out there in this state, especially with Magnus present.”  Jace challenged.

“I’m already dressed.”  Alec informed him something wicked and playful in his eyes that Jace suddenly wished he would see more frequently.

Then he pulled the door open leaving Jace in the room.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The sunlight filtering across the top floor of Magnus’s flat streamed bright yellow beams across the floor as Jace stepped out to where the others had already gathered to eat.  He could hear Clary explaining to Magnus and Simon all that had happened on their little mission.

_Great.  This shall be a fantastic dinner._

Filled with bombs and landmines based on Magnus’s expression when Jace actually stepped into view of everyone.

“Jace!”  Simon yelled a bit too loudly.  “Here, I’ve got a plate made up already.”

Jace wandered over to the vampire, clocking where Alec was seated near Jonathan as he did so.  Jonathan still had the bells attached to him by thin cords that he absently pulled at.  Before sitting down next to the vampire and looking at whatever concoction the vampire had put together.

_Surprise.  That actually looks good._

“Uh…thanks Simon.”  Jace told him, still thrown by the random hospitality.  He had not freaked out that badly under the building.  He clenched a fist and straightened his fingers.

Maybe he had.

“Clary was informing us what had occurred before myself and Simon had to rescue your Shadowhunter asses from the collective fire.”  Magnus told him, running a hand along the top of whatever alcoholic drink he held.

Jace shot a glance to Clary who just smiled encouragingly, before looking at Magnus.  “Yeah.  Thanks for saving our collective asses.”  Then he bit into whatever food was in front of him because damn he was starving and he needed time to get his mind successfully out of the gutter.

_Damn, Alec and his control._

Magnus quirked his head to the side, peering at Jace.  “Thanks, accepted.”  He said slowly.  “I will be billing Maryse though.”  Then Magnus turned his attention away from Jace.  Instead focusing on Alec and Jonathan, his golden cat-eyes flickered.  “Alec, you have invited me into your Institute in the past.  I have even been inside Alicante, when its wards were down.  I propose to invite you to the Spiral Labyrinth.”

_Least that fixed my arousal problem._

Jace kept forcing himself to eat but kept his full attention on the conversation.

Alec set whatever bite he was about to take down, expression turning solid and impenetrable. “I’m not a warlock.”

Magnus appeared mystified, before waving a hand in Clary’s direction.  “According to your account you absorbed an entire chrysalis’s energy signature into your body before vaporizing everything in its path, yet somehow controlling it enough _not_ to vaporize your friends.  Magic is in our blood.”

“That blood doesn’t exist anymore.” Alec snapped.

Magnus stared at him flatly, before summoning an orb of blue, crackling power.  “It does.  There are hundreds of warlocks whose sires stem from Edom.  I need to know you are under control.  Partly for your benefit but mostly so I know we don’t have another rogue Shadowhunter.”

“He’ll be fine.”  Jonathan stated with a charming smile.  “You said it yourself.  Alec did control it and unlike you he can’t generate his magic back.”

Another piece of the puzzle slotted into place in Jace’s head.  He wished he was a strategist.

Alec shifted in his seat, not meeting Magnus’s gaze.

“Consider my offer.”  Magnus directed towards Alec, tossing the orb of magic towards Alec.  Alec ducked the sailing magical ball, letting it fly over his dark head where is bounced off a nearby chair before winking out of existence.  Magnus smiled cat eyes flashing gold.

“Could any of us join him?”  Clary asked hopeful.

“No, Biscuit.  No Nephilim will ever enter.”  Magnus informed her.  She cocked her head to the side appearing vaguely confused.

“How come vampires don’t have any great stores of knowledge?”  Simon pipped up.  “I mean you have the Spiral Labyrinth for warlocks, Alicante for Nephilim, even the werewolves have an offshoot to some great library.”

Magnus appeared thoughtful for a moment, but it was Izzy that spoke up.  “Unfortunately, most vampire clans keep their knowledge sequestered within the clan and rarely broadcast what they know to other clans.  So the knowledge is much less condensed.”

There was a loud jangle of bells as Jonathan got up to wander over to one of the windows looking out at the city.  Jace smirked when he noticed the ex-demon pulling at one of the bells at his wrist.  Seriously, best idea ever, the guy couldn’t so much as breath without setting off the chimes.

“Hey Jace.  Can I talk to you for a second?  Just us?”  Simon questioned.

Izzy shot a derisive look to her boyfriend.  Simon blanched.

“Is this more dating advice?”  Jace asked turning to face the vampire.  Simon’s body drooped for a second before he straightened up face going red.

_Oh it’s definitely dating advice._

“If it is, he could just ask me to actually plan the date then.  Jace has been on exactly one date his entire life.” Izzy idly implied, poking at the remains of her food.  She glanced at Jace then back to Simon.  “I think you ended up on the same date actually.  Wasn’t that back when you were with Maia that ended so badly?”

_Thanks for bringing that epic failure back to the limelight._

Simon face paled before looking over at Jace pleadingly.

Jace decided to take pity on the poor vampire.  “Izzy, just let the poor guy ask me for my stellar relationship advice.  Just so long as it’s nothing about sex.  I’m not helping you there, figure that out yourself.”  He felt his gaze slide towards Alec who had wandered over to Jonathan at some point and both were talking quietly by the window.

“Trust me, Izzy.  Simon is a diehard romantic at heart.”  Clary pipped up.

It worked.  Simon dragged Jace off to the side to begin whatever dismal interrogation about dating he was currently stumped on.

“Finally.  Never thought I would get you away.”  Simon laughed to himself before looking at Jace.

Jace just crossed his arms, inspecting the vampire for any fatal flaws. “Dazzle me.”

“So it’s the scent from the chrysalis actually.  It smelled the same as the parabati rune did when you got really sick months ago.  You know, when you smelled like fried angel.  I knew I recognized the scent from somewhere but I couldn’t pin it down until I was digging you guys out and then when Clary said Alec used magic.”  Simon said it all in one rush.

Jace rocked back slightly.  He could have used that piece of information weeks ago.  Hell, even just one day ago.  Anything to have stopped Alec from doing…well whatever the hell he actually did to bring the building down and vaporize everything.

“Alec kind of smells like that now.”  Simon said a little more cautiously.

Jace forced himself not to search out Alec’s form across the wide, open room instead focusing on the nervous vampire before him.  Simon swallowed and gave a small nervous grin.  “So?  Thoughts?”

Jace let out a huff.  “Yeah.  I could have used that knowledge weeks ago, yesterday even.  Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, I mean it was just a smell.  I didn’t think it was very important then.  Just that you really stunk, badly.”  Simon said, glancing down towards the parabati rune.

Jace gave him a small glare.  “Next time tell me if you smell, hear, or see anything weird.”

“You mean besides the fact Alec is all buddy buddy with Jonathan?  Well, Jonathan smells normal.  Well, normal like a shadowhunter normal.”

_Don’t remind me._

“Just tell me if you notice anything, ok.”  Jace said.

Simon grinned.  “I can be like a super spy.”

“Hmm, Simon.  What was that sight touch technique you mentioned called?  Use that.”  Jace told him, hoping the pale vampire wouldn’t actually understand what he was truly seeking.

Simon looked at him slowly cocking his head to the side before his eyes widened.  “Oh!  Grounding techniques.  Hearing, Smell, Touch, Sight, Taste.  You use them fo-“

“Yeah.  I get it.  Use all of that for your super spy thing.  Tell me what you find.”

Excellent, now he had a way to not freak out next time the Owl’s memories came calling that loudly.  It brought some stability and control back.  Bonus, he now had a vampire spying on Jonathan for him.

He pointedly ignored the concerned look Simon gave him when he went back to the table and Izzy who looked about ready to demand answers to whatever “date” Simon was plotting.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Alec slammed his fist into the punching bag in front of him.  It sent a single jolt up through his arm.

_Harder._

He hit it with his other arm harder. 

_Harder._

Continued the relentless assault attempting to decimate the bag, if he could just get it to shatter it would make the feeling of the power coursing through him stop for one second.

“Your mother is charming as always.”  Jonathan said walking in and selecting two sharp blades.  “Apparently, our mission is considered a success seeing how you decimated the problems.”

Alec slammed his fist into the bag again.  It didn’t break.

_Harder._

“It was a little concerning how the…how did they put it…”rational, logical one.” Didn’t show up for the debriefing.  Clary seemed rather concerned about everyone getting trapped under the building, particularly Jace.”

Alec felt power release up his arm on the next swing, the punching bag exploded.

Jonathan cocked his head.  “Remnants?”

Alec rubbed at his right arm.  He had already noticed that the dark stain traveling up his arm had traveled further since absorbing the magic from the chrysalis and using it to destroy the red warm shell.  Technically, it was a win.  The power was no longer condensed, demons couldn’t access it, and it no longer called to him when he slept.  No the problem lay with the fact he could feel the power sinking into his newly healed soul.  Tiny tendrils of magic he wanted to tear out as much as he wanted to soak it in.

_I hate dichotomy._

“You going to use those with Clary?”  Alec waved a hand towards the weapons Jonathan had chosen.

“These are for you, my friend.”  Jonathan tossed him the blades.  “Besides, I want to see it.”

Alec spun both blades through his hands briefly readying himself for the first attack from Jonathan.  The red head prowled towards him casually, small smirk forming.  Before breaking into a run at Alec kicking him in the chest before lashing out with a sword.

Alec deflected it easily, tapping Jonathan’s arm with his other sword.  There was a brief back and forth of the weapons clashing before Jonathan lunged forward catching one of Alec’s swords on his own bringing it into the floor.  Alec quickly brought his other sword up to tap at Jonathan’s exposed side only for Jonathan to bat it away, reverse his grip and slash straight down his entire right arm.

Blood hit the floor.

Both froze staring at the other.

“See, its red.”  Jonathan informed him casually but he was breathing hard.

_Not black._

Alec dropped the blades, before heading over to grab bandages for the arm from the nearby cabinet.

“Why are you here Jonathan?”

Jonathan picked up one of the bandages and began wrapping the wound he had inflicted.  “What does your logic tell you about the magic you just disposed of?  A magic so potent that the one warlock that attempted to disperse it was consumed, eaten alive by his own power.”

“What does your logic say about being here?”  Alec shot back.

Jonathan frowned at him, touching the new areas the dark stain had spread.  “Logic says I shouldn’t even be alive.  I should have died in Edom.  I should have died beneath the Silent City and I should have died in that hellhole with the chrysalis.  None of those happened.  What is the one thing we always told the other when we first crawled out of there?”

Alec sighed.  “Life is a struggle.  Pain means you are alive.”  He ran a hand along Jonathan’s shoulder.  “You know I don’t regret remaking your body.”  Jonathan dropped his gaze to finish bandaging his arm.

“I may not be connected to you as a parabati but you held my soul as those souls ripped my body apart.  You didn’t let them take me.  And I will not let you consume yourself thinking you cannot control this.  You can.  You did it with less than half your soul.”  Jonathan tapped the dark black veins stretched across his shoulder now.

Alec reached up to grip his hand.  “Are you ok, Jonathan?”  He met the others gaze.  “Are you happy I changed you?”

Jonathan smiled, it reached his green eyes.  “I have never been lighter than these past couple months.  When I was part demon I was in constant pain, my own demonic blood burned my angelic body.  You released me from a lifetime of torture.  You saved me when my own sister could not, no matter how much she desired to.”

Alec stared at him.  “The souls weren’t evil.  They were never evil.  They were just lost like you were.”  He let his hand drift up and touch the red hair he remembered the soul’s power guiding him to recreate.  “There were so many, there was no difference between Nephilim and Downworlder in the souls.”  He dropped his hand leaning back away from Jonathan.  “I think it’s the one thing I am most proud of, that my mom didn’t throw away my hard work to integrate Downworlders into Nephilim law and deputizing some.”

“Yes, well, have any room for ex-demons as a deputy?  I find I enjoy it here.  I don’t want to return to the Silent City.  Clave is still out on my death.”  Jonathan leaned back on his hands as well, kicking Alec’s leg when he didn’t respond immediately.

“I’ll work on it.  There would be a lot more training and hoops to allow for that.  Will Clary be going with you?”

“I don’t know.  Clary will always try to be there for me.  But she tends to be fickle about her priorities.”  Jonathan gave a low laugh, tilting his head back.

“Uh…what’s going on here?”  It was Jace, along with Simon and Clary all three were looking at them suspiciously.  Clearly the three were there for afternoon training.

Alec glanced down at his body, the trail of bright red blood on the floor, then looked over at Jonathan who sat with bandages around him and hands coated in blood he hadn’t bothered to wash off.  Jonathan gave a small huff of laughter.  Alec burst out laughing.

He didn’t know why it was so funny.  Just that the absurdity of him and Jonathan always ending up in pools of blood together and the high stress of everything that had been going on in his life.

“So Jonathan didn’t try to attack you?”  Jace questioned rather harshly.

“No.”  Alec tried to calm his laughter enough to talk.  Took one look at Jonathan who was now also laughing, which sent him back into it.  However, when he looked up at Jace’s rather concerned, angry expression his laughter faded away.  “No.  He didn’t attack me, just proving a point.”

“Yeah what point was that?”  Simon asked.  “That’s a pretty deep cut.  Also you smell weird.”

_That I can control it._

Jace however had gone strangely still after Simon had spoken.  Alec gathered up the unused bandages putting them back in the cabinet.  “Jonathan you dealt the injury.  Go get a bucket and mop.”

“Yes, pure shadowhunter, I live to do your bidding.”  Jonathan drawled waving a hand flippantly, he didn’t move.  Alec shot him a warning look.  Jonathan grumbled something and got up to find the supplies.

Jace gripped his arm covered in bandages.  “He could have used an Iratze.  Or did you both forget a stele?”

_No, I needed the reminder._

The arm covered in bandages was stained bright red, he could leave it on for the day even if Jace used an Iratze to heal the wound.  Jace was already lifting his shirt and running his stele over his skin to draw the Iratze before Alec could suggest or deny it.

“Going to explain why you didn’t come to debriefing?”  Jace questioned as he wrote the rune, the burn sinking into his skin letting him know it was working.

Alec pulled his shirt down.  “Mom doesn’t trust me right now.  My report of the event would have been questioned anyway, there was no need.”  He flexed his arm testing the new skin under the bandages.

_Completely healed._

Jace blinked jaw tightening.  “Since when do you balk at responsibility?”

Alec glanced at the ceiling because this was not the conversation he wanted to have right now, especially not with Clary observing the whole thing.  “I’m not shirking my responsibilities, Jace.  I just fixed one in case you forgot.”  His arm itched under the bandages now.

“I didn’t forget, but I think you are starting to forget who the enemy is.”

“Jonathan isn’t our enemy!  It’s the damn demons trying to draw their symbol for a portal back to the void!”  Alec roared at Jace.  He reached up to itch at the bandages over his shoulder, realizing the cut was lower and shifted his hand to the area above his elbow to pull the bandage off.

_Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask._

“How do you know that?”  Jace slowly asked.

_Damnit._

He felt dizzy, he couldn’t recall the last time he ate, sometime before the mission for sure.  He recognized the symbol on the map in the Ops Center weeks ago when the Silent Brother had released him from that cell.  He couldn’t recall where he learned the symbol from, the chrysalis, the souls, Jonathan perhaps, a combination of all three.

“I don’t know.”

“You’re lying to me.”  Jace reeled back as if struck.

Alec growled, tearing the bandage off just for something to do.  “You lie all the time.”

“Draw it.”  Clary demanded, walking up and handed him her notebook with a pencil.

His hand was shaking when he reached out to take the notebook and pencil.  He sat down on the floor partly because his legs weren’t going to hold him up much longer, closed his eyes, picturing the red magic as it spiraled through his body the form it took, felt himself break out in a sweat.  Opening his eyes he started to trace the symbol he remembered.  He felt rivulets of sweat start to track down his back.

He was halfway through the ornate symbol when Jonathan returned with the bucket and mop.  He started cleaning up the blood on the floor asking what Alec was drawing since the other three were hovering so close.

“Draw it on two separate pages.”  Jonathan advised.

Alec paused staring at the image, hand shaking.  His mouth felt papery and dry, he swallowed trying to work moisture back.  He turned the page.  The stele nearly slipped.  No it was a pencil.

_Finish it then sleep._

Sleep sounded wonderful.  He couldn’t recall if he had slept at Magnus’s either the remnants of the red magic kept him awake burning for a release.

Jonathan was kneeling in front of him, holding the pencil.  “Finish it.  Then you keel over.”

He took the pencil finishing the second half of the symbol, handing the notebook to Clary.  His arm was shaking so much he could see the notebook swaying.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace couldn’t decide what he was feeling.  He had thought with Alec’s soul back they would be past magical bullshit.  Obviously not, as Jonathan informed them Alec was going into some kind of magical drain shock.  The strain from decimating the chrysalis.  Jace also knew Alec had not eaten at Magnus’s claiming an upset stomach during the one meal they had there.

Clary had taken the sheets of paper straight to Maryse and Lydia, Simon had gone with her with some excuse Jace hadn’t fully focused on.

Jonathan had informed Jace he would stay and clean up the mess he and Alec had made, which gave Jace the freedom to half drag, half carry Alec to his room to sleep off the shock.

_And here I thought we were making such great progress._

Jace clenched his eyes shut before rubbing his hands down his face.

Yeah, progress.  Progress towards annihilating the chrysalis, needed to be done.  Discovering the demonic symbol the demons were trying to create using the city, also required.  But _damn it_ , he was losing it.  He could feel the tension in his and Alec’s bond when he drew that symbol stretching it taut.

He looked over at the sleeping form next to him.  Tracking how much further the dark black veins had crawled up the arm and onto Alec’s shoulder.

Alec had been soaked in sweat by the time Jace got him to his room, so Jace had forced him out of most of his clothes before dumping him in the bed.

He picked up his stele and began to twirl it through his fingers.  He wasn’t leaving until Alec woke up and they could talk again.

He paced, he flipped through the old pictures Alec had on his dresser, which had been cleared of any makeup from Magnus or Izzy.  Smiling at an old picture of Alec, Izzy, and himself all smiling after a training session, it had been taken a couple months before they met Clary.  When he got to the end of the photograph book he found one of Alec and Magnus smiling on some date.  His gut twisted slightly looking at how happy the two had been together.  Jace and Alec used to have that ease until Clary arrived, now whatever their parabati bond had become felt renewed yet muddled with emotions Jace couldn’t begin to sort through.  All he knew was that Alec and he belonged to the other.  The last picture was one of Jonathan Morgenstern sitting at the piano decorated with skulls within the Silent City.  The caption read “Survive. Rebuild. You control it.”

_More secrets._

Although he supposed Alec’s apparent friendship with the ex-demon wasn’t kept hidden.  Neither had tried to hide the fact they were now friends.  It still felt strange holding evidence that his dark haired, usually strict, parabati had become so close to Jonathan in the span of a few days before Maryse had sent Jonathan to the Silent City.  Jace doubted this picture was approved by Maryse or a Silent Brother and had probably been taken by Clary on one of her several trips to visit her brother.

He contacted Clary and Simon to bring food up.

It was hours later, one plate of food now sat untouched on Alec’s desk, the other empty, when Alec finally stirred.

Jace watched him slowly blink his eyes open before meeting his gaze.  There was a quiet softness in that dark brown gaze filled with longing and love, then Alec blinked coming fully awake and it was gone.  The shades and walls from years of practice hiding his emotions towards Jace slamming up on instinct.  Jace wished he could evoke the same response in Alec as he had when he was holding his soul, let him unravel beneath him desperate and moaning his name.  At least then their souls had been so interlocked he could barely tell the other apart.

Now all he felt was fucking confused.  Alec had opened up briefly at the loft and now he was building the walls again.

“Morning?”  Alec questioned, before squeezing his eyes shut and running a hand down his right arm pressing into the muscles hard.

“It’s evening. You in pain?”

Alec blinked startled before narrowing his eyes at Jace.

_Seriously?  We’re going to wake up with an attitude already._

Fine.  Jace was going to force him into feeling something.  He swung his leg over Alec’s body so he was sitting on top of him.

Based on the wide-eyed look Alec was now giving him he had succeeded.

“You and I need to talk.”  Jace declared, crossing his arms over his chest and using his weight to pin Alec.

Alec glanced up, away from Jace before returning his gaze with a cold steel.  “Great.  Can I eat and use the bathroom?”  Sarcasm and annoyance dripped from Alec’s every word.

Jace blinked, then lifted himself off Alec.  “Fine, but you aren’t escaping out the window and I’m locking the door.”

Alec swallowed and rolled away, heading towards the bathroom.  Jace leapt off of the bed to draw the locking rune on the door, then drew a small heat rune on the plate to reheat the food.  Before settling himself on the bed and spinning his stele waiting for Alec to come back out of apparently a shower now based on the sounds of water hitting the tile continuously.

When Alec emerged from the shower, a cloud of steam following him, Jace was still laying down, spinning his stele through his hands switching it back and forth at varying paces.

“Took long enough.”  He grumbled, stopping the stele.

Alec just gave him a blank look before wandering over to the food, taking one look at it and pushed it away.  Turning to face Jace.  “Alright.  Spit it out.”

“Eat first.  I’m not going anywhere.  I have Clary and Simon covering my patrol tonight.  You owe them by the way, this Thursday you and I get a double shift.”

Alec sat down, poking at the food before taking a bite and grimacing.  “Excellent.  You know I’m fine.  I didn’t eat at Magnus’s and must have been low on blood sugar.”  Alec told him, waving the fork briefly in Jace’s general direction once for emphasis.

“Yeah.  Stop dodging me all the time.  That’s my job.”  Jace chided, tossing Alec a smirk.

Especially, during the hell that was chasing after Clary every second.  He had dodged Alec every chance he got, nearly destroying their parabati bond.  And he had blamed Alec for it the whole way.  His brain had clearly been thinking with a lower part of his anatomy during those summer months.  Although, Alec’s dismal attitude could have used some help back then too.  Jace still fully blamed him for getting himself lost in the parabati rune.

_Lost in the parabati rune.  Fucking hell, he knew the way by instinct because he went there before._

Alec ate in silence for a time before setting the half eaten plate aside.  “Alright, I’m listening.”

Jace sat up, jolting out of his thoughts.  “You never explained how you knew what the demons were after.”  That had been his original question anyway.

Alec’s gaze harden into a mask.

_Guess blunt and straight forward doesn’t work much anymore._

Jace crossed his arms, jaw clenching.  “Maybe I should ask Jonathan.  He seems to know more about you than I do lately.”

_Well, that sounds pathetic._

If anything Alec’s gaze shifted into a darker, harsher mask.  “Jonathan is a friend.  Nothing more.  If that’s all you needed to discuss then I suggest you get out.”

“You know your hot and cold attitude is really starting to piss me off.  I’m not sure if it’s the soul thing or you being addicted to magic.  What you craving me again?”  Jace bit it out harsher than he expected and based on the flicker of blatant hurt and surprise that crossed Alec’s face, he had managed to hit home.

_Good.  Bastard can hurt for once._

Alec’s next words came at him like ice and frost.  “I need you to leave.”

It was like they were back at square one when Alec had first left the cell.  Still delirious and volatile.

“Fuck you.”  Jace snapped.

_Damn, probably shouldn’t have said that._

Especially, considering Jace had done just that recently.  And then how Alec had just responded at Magnus’s, when he opened up briefly.

_“Did you like the other me?  Out of control and mad?”_

Alec was already moving away, grabbing his jacket and stele.

“Alec.”  Jace tried to stop him.

“Next time I let Edom’s magic course through me.  _Don’t_ touch me.  Wouldn’t want you to be the one who sins.” Alec snarled, yanking open the door.  Pure fury washed across his face when it didn’t budge.

Jace spun his stele, throwing a half-amused smirk towards Alec.  Inside he was terrified this discussion was going to end in violence again.

_Rational mind gone, self-control fraying, logic struggling._

Jace could practically countdown the internal struggle Alec went through to not punch him.  “Open the door, Jace.”

“No.  You never run from fights.  So answer the question.”  Jace crossed his arms over his chest in his usual dominance stance, staring Alec down.

Red glowed under Alec’s jacket, a barely discernable flicker that Jace would have missed if he hadn’t been staring up at Alec obstinately. 

“Did something happen with that chrysalis in that head of yours?”  Jace snapped, then forced his voice into something smoother.  “Something I should know as your parabati.”

Alec turned his head to look over at Jace.

“Your parabati.” Alec coldly said, that feral look was back in his eyes.  Alec lifted his right hand up, the dark black lines stretched across it were glowing a faint red. “Wants to leave.”

_Demonic chrysalis ate a warlock, Alec controlled it enough to release the power and not incinerate us all._

Jace’s eyes widened, alarm sparking through him.

_No way._

“Alec, how much of that power did you need to keep inside to stop from incinerating us all?”

For a moment, Jace couldn’t read Alec, couldn’t even feel whatever emotion had started warping through Alec before Alec put the barriers up between their parabati rune to stop the emotional flow for a moment.  Alec remained rigid, hand still glowing softly red.

Jace reached for him through the bond, trying to push concern, compassion, and any warmth towards Alec.

“Understand this, Jace.”  Alec began oddly controlled despite the red gleaming through his veins.  “I control this.  And nothing you do will force me to loosen that grip.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The double demon patrol shift Jace had traded Simon and Clary for to try and talk to Alec arrived before Jace recovered from the conversation two nights prior.

_Blasted waste of time that trade was._

He glanced towards Alec who had remained quiet for most of their patrol, only speaking when required and annihilating the demons they did come across with his arrows. He kept searching for that telltale red glow from Alec’s right hand, the only skin visible.  Jace usually took point, the fact he kept falling back to walk beside Alec probably wasn’t helping him keep himself from being obscure either.

“You could stop looking at me like I’m going to eat the demons.”  Alec commented casually, pulling a fingerless glove over the hand.

_Quite certain you might have done that before._

“Ever wonder what fried demon would taste like?  If we kill enough and ignore the whole poisonous effect we would solve world hunger.”  Jace tossed back keeping it light, fully aware Alec understood what he had been searching for.

Alec looked at him flatly before moving on to the next alleyway to start scanning the area for demonic traces.  “It burns and tastes of power.”

_Hypothesis.  Conclusion complete._

He kept walking, not breaking his stride.  “Why did you do that?” Jace kept his tone mild, a difficult feat since he wanted to smack Alec across the back of the head right now.

Alec shrugged.  “To keep from ripping your heart out.”  Alec glanced over at him gauging his reaction.

Jace knew he had paused now, mouth tight.  He shook his head once, continued walking.  “Was that before or after you tried seducing me?”

Alec stopped.  Jace paused just inside the alleyway, alert for either a demon or a response.

“After.  It sated the need until you blasted it out of my system.”  There was anger curling into that voice, but Alec mostly just sounded exhausted.

Alec threw his bow onto his back, rubbing at his head before dropping his hand to massage at his right arm.  He looked back at Jace, dark brow furrowing slightly.  “Stop looking at me like that.”

_I can’t not look at you._

Jace almost jumped when Alec moved back towards him, stopping in front of him, reaching a hand up run his fingers along Jace’s jaw.  He tilted his head into Alec’s fingers seeking more pressure, knew his eyes had fallen half closed just from that simple gesture and that they should be paying attention to their surroundings.

Alec’s hand dropped and the body heat Jace had felt a moment ago moved away.  He felt a pitiful whine creep up his throat that he refused to release into the air.

_Damn fucking self-control._

Jace went to take a step after Alec, he froze mid-step, could see that red glow under the jacket near Alec’s shoulder.  Something smelled like it was burning.  “Alec?”

“Shh.  There’s about ten demons above.”

_Stupid._

Jace glanced up, there perched several black scaled demons twisting their tails through the air, all clinging to the surface of the wall with large sharp claws, easing his seraph blade out quietly he crouched waiting.  Alec had his bow out, arrow pointed into the dark, he let it fly.  Jace heard the _thunk_ as it hit flesh, followed by the cry of the other demons.

Leaping up Jace used the wall as leverage to push himself into another jump, landing on the ledge three of the demons crouched.  He smirked at the demons slow response, one bat-like demon dropped following Alec, Jace lunged at the two remaining decapitating one and impaling the other before the deadly claws reached him.

_That was easy._

Jace leapt across the alleyway as three demons were dropping to the ground.  Using his momentum he slammed his blade into one as he collided with its scaled body on the ground, heard a _whizz_ as an arrow flew by impaling another behind him.

Spinning to search the darkness for the remaining demons, there were three and all were circling Alec who had thrown his bow onto his back and had his seraph blade out.  None of the demons were paying Jace any attention.

_Fish in a barrel._

Jace sprinted towards the fight.

Alec lashed out striking one demon across the throat, black ichor spurting through the air.  The other two demons leaped latching onto his shoulder and hip, tearing into the flesh with teeth and claws.

Jace stabbed his seraph blade into the scaled demon on Alec’s shoulder, it was already falling away its face melted into a twisted pile of black ichor, flesh and bone.

Stunned Jace swung his gaze to the other demon that Alec was extracting his arm from, a black ichor covered muscle held in his hand.

“Alec?”

The black blob of ichor hit the ground with a wet splat, Alec clawed his hand into his arm hard tearing at the skin, knees buckling.

_Shit._

Jace performed a quick 360 degree check for remaining demons before kneeling in front of Alec, forcing his head up to look at him.  “Hey.  Look at me.”  Jace demanded.

Jace racked his brain trying to recall conversations about the magic Alec had told him.

_“I wanted it.  It was just remnants…”_

That was the back at Magnus’s loft.  Alec had wanted the magical power inside him then, had it now.  And just a few seconds ago.

_“It sated the need.”_

Jace eyed the black heart laying on the ground with disgust.

“Alright.  You and me are getting a place to stay and you are stripping for me.”  Jace dragged him upright.

The comment worked, Alec snapped his gaze away from the demon to search Jace’s in confusion.

_Right.  Just keep him focused on me until we get far enough away._

“What?”  Alec questioned, his eyes looked drugged.

Jace felt more inappropriate words bubbling up into his throat, he swallowed them down.

“Why do you think so many people find me attractive?”  He said.

_Because that was a much better topic._

Jace wanted to smack himself, that question would have been fine for just about anyone else to keep a random relaxed conversation going, just not Alec.

Alec pushed himself away from Jace, scratching at his wrist.  “I’m fine.”  He was eyeing the dark blob on the ground with an unreadable expression before turning and walking away.

_Bullshit._

Jace waited until they were a good three blocks away.

“I’m in control.”  Alec spoke before Jace did.

“Yeah?  Didn’t look like it to me.”

Alec didn’t look at him, eyes scanning the area they were supposed to be patrolling.  “You survived even though you were not in control of your actions.  I’ll survive something I can.” Alec said.

The words sent ice into Jace’s veins.  He clenched his fist tightly, flexing it and running through each finger.  They moved.

“Your survival isn’t about control.  It’s about us.  It’s because our bond, because you-“

“I would tear you apart.” Alec growled.

The implication of those words hit hard, because no Jace was not ready for that.  He wasn’t sure he would ever be ready for that.

“I need you to drop how I handle this.”  Alec raised his right hand up flexing the hand glowing red.

_I can’t risk making yourself an Endarkened._

“I came to you that night.”  Jace reminded him.

The reaction was instant, Alec froze and the rune at Jace’s side dumped heat through his body.

“What do you want, Jace?”  Alec swallowed.  “It was the bond, a one-time thing.  I agree with you on that point.  But I know you don’t want…”  He trailed off.

Jace pushed Alec’s shoulder more to move him back than any aggression.  “First, it wasn’t just once.  And you don’t know what I want.” Jace said advancing after him.

Alec shot him a disbelieving look before rolling his eyes towards the sky.  “Jace, you’ve never been interested until the bond warped.”

Jace clenched his jaw tight, fists bunching up.  “Why are you being a dick about this?”

“Because I corrupted the bond, not even Magnus could stop that.  I sinned because I couldn’t let you go!”  Alec froze, face paling even in the dark.

“I don’t care!  Don’t you get it?  I kept your soul inside me for weeks, oblivious.”  Jace took a breath, attempting to lower his voice from the yell.  “It didn’t even affect me because the bond didn’t need to change for me to let you in.  Stop seeking magic, I’m right here.”

They stared at each other for a moment.

Jace’s back hit the wall, Alec’s mouth over his, hands splayed across bare skin under his shirt.

_Finally._

Jace bit at Alec’s lower lip harshly before sweeping his tongue across it devouring Alec’s mouth, rolling his hips against Alec’s.

Alec pressed closer to him, dragging the shirt halfway up to run his hands over the bare skin of Jace’s back.

“About time you lost control.”  Jace hissed into Alec’s mouth, sealing their lips again before Alec could respond.  Focusing on using his tongue to shut up the angry comeback he knew would have followed.

Alec lifted Jace up, pressing him into the wall, still attacking his mouth.

Some distant part of Jace was warning him to slow down.

His pulse was running rampant, the parabati rune, every press and kiss from Alec dumping arousal through his bloodstream.

“Alec.”

Jace slowly fluttered his eyes open to gaze at Alec.  Alec met that stare, even as Jace saw conflict flicker across his face.  Alec slanted their mouths together but didn’t press into a full kiss.

“I will tear you up.”  Alec murmured.

_Fuck._

Jace blinked, this was where he drew the line apparently.

“No.” Jace pushed Alec back with one arm even as he tugged Alec’s hips into a slow grind with the other.

Alec started to suck at his neck.  “You’re giving me mixed signals here.” He whispered against Jace’s neck before resuming putting a mark on Jace’s neck at the juncture of neck and shoulder.

Jace tangled his fingers in Alec’s hair, throwing his blond head back against the wall.  “Yeah, you too.”

Alec stopped, giving one last nip, before stepping away from him, arms still caging Jace in.

Jace still wasn’t sure if he wanted this to stop or continue.  He had a clear idea of where he wanted Alec and it wasn’t here.  If he could reverse their positions he would be a lot calmer about this, but Alec had him caged in.

Alec ran a thumb over Jace’s lips.  “No, Herondale wit now?”  There was something almost sad in Alec’s voice.

Jace couldn’t really think right now, most of his blood having left his brain.

_Just want him._

Jace reached up gripping Alec’s neck before sliding his hand down along Alec’s right arm, the gesture familiar now.

“Yeah, you kiss good.”

Alec’s mouth turned up slightly into an amused smirk.  “Eloquent as always, I picked some things up.”

_Magnus._

And just like that the heat that had formed, cooled, evening out into something Jace could rein back in.  He closed his eyes to control his breathing, already aware he was going to need a long cold shower when they got home.

_Or a hot one._

Through a silent agreement they cut the patrol short by an hour.  Parting ways with a slide of Alec’s hand down his back, a strange reassurance.  Jace headed straight for that hot shower.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The smell of parchment and wood was not something Jace thought would have become his home the last couple days, but the library had become just that.  He had hidden himself out on the second floor in an alcove that would keep him hidden.  There were still several other shadowhunters within the Institute that either worked there or would routinely enter.  All of whom Jace wanted to avoid.

Not because of the idea that most people thought he disliked reading, but the material he was choosing to read.

_Demon magic._

Thus far he had learned a lot about how demons could cast illusions, a recount on necromancy he had rather never known about, hellmist while interesting proved pointless to his search, mind control he had slammed the book on and refused to pick it back up.

Jace rubbed his hands across his face.  He had about an hour before his next training session with Simon and Clary followed by whatever mission Maryse was assigning them today.  He picked up the next books containing knowledge on projection and demon pox.

Hands with a silver snake bracelet slammed down on the book he was sliding across the table to himself.

He turned his jolt into a lean back against his chair to attempt to cover up the fact Izzy had snuck up on him.

“Didn’t know you could read?”  She smirked.  “Thought that was for your “book club” or are you off limits now?”

Book club had been his little list of fairy girls he had rotated through for sex.  Both Izzy and Alec knew about it but he had stopped calling them up as much with Clary, hadn’t even thought of it since the whole thing with Alec and Edom.

Jace shot her an irritated look.  “I’m researching which requires reading that book.”

Izzy picked the book up, flipping through the pages.  “Any particular reason you are looking up demon pox?”

_Yeah, an insane one._

“No.  It’s just research.  We have too many demon sightings lately and with Alec’s symbol matching the locations of the demon sightings figured I would get a head start on possible issues.”

She raised an eyebrow, before rolling her eyes.  “You sound like Alec.  I’m surprised you aren’t training with him and Jonathan.  Figured you would want to get a hit or two on him.”  Izzy said.

Izzy smoothed her tight, black dress out before sitting down across from Jace at the table.

“How are you and Alec?” Izzy asked gently.

_Fucking fuzzy bucket of warm feelings._

Izzy must have read his frustrated irritation on his face.  “Really?  Because I thought you two would be closer now.”  She said, leaning her arms onto the table.

Jace rubbed his face again, because for all Alec had opened up to him he still felt like he couldn’t reach him.  He reached down to touch the parabati rune just to feel the familiar warmth, the pulse and burn having changed into a warm flow of energy between them.

“Izzy, he’s still struggling with magic addiction, I think.  I’m not even sure anymore.” Jace admitted.

Izzy smirked devilishly.  “Have you tried your d-“

“No!  Angel, Izzy.  I was desperate last time.  The fact you even know about that is weird enough.”  Jace folded his arms across his chest, beginning to spin his stele since he obviously wasn’t getting any reading done while she badgered him.

His mind unhelpfully suppling a hot mouth and a hotter body.

Izzy hummed to herself, drawing another book towards herself to flip through its contents.

“Is there a reason you sought me out?”  Jace asked her, smoothing his voice out from the irritated tremble it wanted to become.

“Yeah, I wanted to ask if you were ok?”  Izzy said.

_Huh?_

“Of course I am.  Why wouldn’t I be?”  Jace looked over at her confused.

Izzy twisted the snake bracelet that held her hidden whip, her mouth drawn into a thin line.  “Simon mentioned you were quite hysterical after the building collapsed.  I was waiting for you to bring it up, but you never did.”

Jace instantly clenched his fist, nearly snapping his stele in the process, before running through each finger ensuring they moved, they did.

_Damn vampire hearing, that’s why he found me first._

Izzy watched him carefully.  “Jace, I’m glad you took steps to start to heal from the Owl.”  She reached out to take his hand when it convulsed again.  “But you need to take the next step.  Let it go.  The Owl and Lilith are both dead.  Jonathan isn’t going to touch you.  He adores Alec too much.”

Jace stared at her, he knew tears were starting to form in his eyes and hated himself for it.  “What if I get possessed again?  I can’t go back to a…a minion.”

Izzy came around the table to sit beside him and wrapped him in a half hug.  “Jace, both Alec and I have been possessed.  It wasn’t as long as yours but we understand that feeling of helplessness because you can’t control your own body.  I was lucky, Clary stabbed me to release me from the demon.  Alec and you were not so lucky, it forced you both to kill.”

Jace hunched over gripping the table, turning his head away from her and wiping furiously at his face.  His breath was coming too sharply.

The Owl had tortured him for weeks in his mind with killing Clary over and over only for him to actually stab Alec in the chest, it was had been so close to the heart he could feel the heartbeat in the arrow shaft he had held.

“We’re here for you.  No matter what.  You know that, we got you out of Lilith’s control.”  Izzy comforted him.

_“They say the worse pain a shadowhunter can feel is the loss of his parabati.”_

Jace swept the books off the table with a yell.  Izzy held onto him tighter, waiting patiently.  He choked on a breath, before letting out a sob.  He pulled his shirt up to make sure the parabati rune was still there, it hadn’t moved.  “Where’s Clary?”

Izzy rocked him slightly.  “Clary is just fine.  She’s in the training room with Simon right now.”  She told him.

He let out a sob.  “I couldn’t keep being near her.  She kept reminding me of it.  I couldn’t even train with her alone without remembering.  I’m weak.”  It came out broken and tearful.

“You, Jace, are the best shadowhunter in New York.  It’s ok to take a moment to slow down and heal.”  Izzy affirmed.

Jace remained trembling and gasping in her arms for longer than he wanted to admit, before he managed to compose himself enough to lift his blond head up enough to look at Izzy.

She smiled back, all concern and dark long hair.

“I don’t know how to let this go.  Every time I see Jonathan I’m reminded of it.  I can’t even talk to Alec about it.”

Izzy tapped her hand on his side in a gentle reminder that he could talk to Alec.  “Have you tried talking to Jonathan about Lilith, you two might have more in common disliking her than you want to admit.  I would suggest Clary, but I suppose that might be awkward now that you two are broken up.”

_I’m not talking to the madman.  I talked to enough madmen in my life already._

Valentine had been his psychotic father until he was ten, looking back he felt stupid for forgetting that Maryse had taken him in and treated him better than her own son.  No, following the logic of one madman was one mistake to many, he was not repeating that again.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jonathan found himself smiling, grinning broadly as the tiny twelve year old before him spun the Skeptron, a large metal staff with a red gem at the end, between his hands expertly before stopping the form and turning to look at Jonathan with both eager and wary brown eyes.

_So like your brother._

Training with Max had surprisingly become one of Jonathan’s favorite past times, mostly because that small little boy had done what no one else could, twice.  He had tracked him both as a demon and as a shadowhunter, it still amazed him.  He was more than curious just how far he could train Max before Maryse stepped in thinking he was training a killer.  Which he was.

“Jace was surprisingly intelligent to gift you that weapon.  The rise of Edomic demons within New York has certainly increased.  You mind if I try it?”  Jonathan asked Max.

Max glanced over at Alec who sat leaning casually against the far wall passing his stele over each arrow he was currently preparing for a hunt later.  “Let him try it Max.  He’s the one who taught you the correct forms.”  Alec said without looking up from the sharp arrow.

Max shifted uneasily, before twisting the weapon between his hands.  “Why don’t you try it, Alec?”

_Challenging little bugger._

Jonathan felt his lips turning up in a small smile when Alec glanced up to look at Max.  “Max, my expertise is long range.  I understand swords and a number of other short range weapons too.  I’ve never learned the skeptron.  Let him teach you, he won’t bite.  If he tries I’ll put an arrow through his skull.”

_Charming as always._

Max slightly relaxed, but Jonathan could tell he was not fully appeased.

“Alec, broke my jaw and nearly succeeded in ripping my throat out when we were locked in that lovely cell together.  Believe me, he can protect you.  Besides, you wouldn’t be here in this room if you didn’t have some curiosity about what I can teach you.” Jonathan said, making his muscles relax to appear less threatening.

Alec set the arrow aside, picking up another to apply his stele too.

Max rolled his eyes, but handed over the weapon.

The next hour was spent running his own body through every form and attack he could recall being taught in Edom, explaining each move.

“So why does it have the red gem at the top?”  Max asked towards the end of the lesson.

Jonathan grinned broadly, tapping the gem with a finger just because he could.  “This is what deflects any demonic powers from the Nephilim carrying it.  You can’t be touched by any of the normal demonic energies if you hold this weapon.  Greater Demons still pose a risk, but all of the lesser ones will be fairly useless in their plight to attack the bearer of this weapon.”

Max’s entire face lit up, at some point during the lesson he had relaxed enough to listen fully rather than retaining the constant vigilance, although he still kept his dagger in his belt rather than its normal sheath by his ankle.  “So I’m unstoppable.”

“That gem breaks or runs out of energy, you lose your temporary invulnerability.  Temporary, Max.”  Alec stated from his side of the room.  “That light goes out, you have nothing but a chunk of steel.”

Max rolled his eyes.  “Buzzkill.”

Jonathan grinned.

Max grinned back.

“So how come you know all the forms if you were a demon anyway?”  Max asked, picking up a practice seraph blade.

Jonathan glanced towards Alec briefly, seeing no response from the dark haired man he turned back to Max.  “Mother wanted me to learn every available weapon within Edom.  As part Shadowhunter I could hold a skeptron even if it burned me, since it didn’t kill me, I was made to learn it.”

Bright red hair caught his eye.

_Clary._

“Hey guys, Izzy said for us to come down here until Jace gets done with some mission stuff.”  Clary said as she and Simon walked in.  “Who wants to go hand to hand?”

“Clary and Jonathan.  Simon work with Max.”  Alec ordered from his spot, now with his laptop open working on Institute business.

“Aww come on.  You never practice with me.  You knocked me out once and refuse to train with me anymore.  Instead you have your newest _boyfriend_ training me.”  Whined Max, dropping his shoulders and turning to glare at Alec.

Jonathan found himself chuckling at that.

“See it’s true!” Max shouted.

Jonathan stopped laughing, but found himself still holding back a grin.

Alec set aside his laptop, clicking a few more buttons before standing up, bow in his hands.  “Max, Jonathan and I are not dating for one.  Also, it’s not nice to assume you understand people’s relationship status.”

Max for his benefit appeared mildly reprimanded and nervous, suddenly inching away from both Alec and Jonathan towards Clary and Simon.

“Alright Max, you and Simon against me.  Let’s go.”  Alec approached them with the silver bow and nothing else.

Jonathan spun the skeptron around in a large circle, watching the red crystal at the top arc through the air.  “You sure about that, oh pure one?”  He said sardonically.

“Heh, you want me to use vamp speed?”  Simon questioned.

Alec drew some runes on the bow to further strengthen it from breaking.  “Give me whatever you got Simon.  I’m curious what Jace has been training you.  Max, this will be good practice for how to work with Downworlders and an insight into vampire speed.”

Ten minutes later and Jonathan was rather impressed.  Simon had used his vampire speed time and time again and he had yet to land a blow on Alec.  He could see the strain was starting to take its toll though, Alec was covered in sweat now.  Max had stayed at the edges at first, but quickly picked up the rhythm of Simon’s attacks and had been using it to his advantage to get under Alec’s guard.

“I’m starting to think you might be worse than Jace.  At least he jokes around with us.”  Simon said into the silence panting from the exertion.  “You’re just a stick in the mud.”

Alec just raised an eyebrow, but remained silent.  Simon and Max did their joint attack again.  Jonathan moved with them this time, swiftly bringing the skeptron around in an arc, slamming it into Alec’s side.  He watched the weapon connect sending Alec a few feet before crashing into the ground with a groan.

Jonathan spun the skeptron to rest upright in his arms.  “That’s why you don’t drop your guard.”  He paused before smirking at Alec as he coughed, touching his side and wincing.  “I didn’t break anything did I?  Would have been a pity having to rebuild all that bone.”

Alec shot him a death glare.  “Maybe if someone…” he winced at the pain from the ribs.  “..had better control.”

“Perfect control.  You’re not dead.”

“Jonathan, stop.  Come on this is training.  What is wrong with you?”  Clary said coming between them.

_Just getting even for an old attack.  Testing limits.  Comradery building._

Jonathan shrugged.  “Lacking sunshine, it gets terribly dreary in the Silent City.  Promotes depression I believe.”

Clary appeared taken aback.  “Do you want to go outside and visit the city on something other than a mission?”  She asked.

“Maybe if he didn’t try to kill my brother.”  Max snapped.

Alec finished writing the Iratze over his side.  “Max, he was right.  I should have been prepared for any attack regardless of training or not.”  He carefully stretched his arm over his head and took a deep breathe testing the damage and healing, before heading towards his laptop and quiver.

“How about we all go to the Hunter’s Moon tonight?  I’ve got a gig there and I was already bringing Clary, Izzy and Jace.”  Simon offered towards Jonathan.

Alec picked up his laptop, swinging the quiver onto his back.  “That’s a horrible idea.”

“Oh, you are coming with.  Maryse would never let me outside the Institute without someone to watch over me.”  Jonathan lightly said.

“Then get a warlock to stick bells on you.” Simon said.

Max snickered, even Clary smiled.

_You are supposed to be on my side, sister._

“If you come, I’ll get Magnus to attend, bells included.”  Jonathan said.

Alec stared at him stunned for a moment, mouth pressed into a thin line, before looking up at the ceiling.  “That’s a worse idea.”

Jonathan knew the bribe had worked regardless.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

 

 

 

 

  


 

 

 

 

 


	5. Dark Stained Soul ch 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demon's attempt to reopen a path to a hellish realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to sugarbucket25  
> I'm sorry it took so long to dedicate a chapter to you. I should have done this on the very first chapter since if you had not told me to write I never would have even tried. Took me awhile to figure out how I was supposed to even do that.

**Dark Stained Soul**

**Chapter Five**

By: Evey

 

_The bribe should have worked._

Alec was engaged to that shiny warlock prior to Edom, it was why he had returned to Edom.  The dark haired man had not said a word about that having ended.

_Why didn’t it work?_

Any of the others, including his sister, would have jumped on the chance to demean him further.

Jonathan growled to himself pacing the room the Institute had assigned him for his stay while he assisted with Edom cleanup.  It had been his one chance at a semblance of freedom before the Clave would eventually decide upon his death.

He only wanted one evening to feel truly free again.  Was that so hard to ask?  Attempt to create bonds, that’s what the Silent Brother had told him.  Create bonds, _relationships_ , with people to lead a normal short life before the Clave undoubtedly would kill him.

_Alec’s bond sucks.  Idiot won’t even let me leave.  I only broke several ribs, it wasn’t even that bad an injury.  It’s not like I tried to kill him._

Clary stuck her head into his room.  “Hey, Jonathan.  Sorry, Alec can be a bit uptight about rules sometimes.  Plus, I don’t think breaking his ribs helped your case either.  Maybe next time wait until after he gives the approval before decimating him in the training room.”  She held up a bottle of something amber colored, waving it slightly.  “I brought treats.”

_I would have preferred hot chocolate._

“Come in, sister.”  He pulled a chair out for her by the desk.

Clary shook her head, bright red hair waving slightly.  “Nope, this has to be another sibling bonding ritual if you are stuck in the Institute.  We sit on the floor and drink from dixie cups.”

_What the hell is a dixie cup?_

Jonathan just shook his head slightly, smiling at her enthusiasm to bridge their sibling bond, before sitting on the carpet in the middle of the room as requested.

Clary sat down across from him pulling out two small paper cups and filling them with the amber liquid, handing one to him.

“To us.”  She said.

“To us.”  Jonathan returned.

Jonathan tapped the paper cups together before downing the small shot of alcohol, enjoying the slight burn it provided.

“So what was Alec’s reasoning for not approving your mission to the bar tonight?”  She grinned downing her own cup.

“I believe the terms, wasteful use of resources, inefficient application of my time spent here, and certain bar fight with costs applied to the Institute were all in that lovely discussion in his office.”

Clary snickered.  “I could see the bar fight.”

“Personally, I believe Alec would be the one to start the fight.”  Jonathan informed her.

“Nah, that’s Jace’s department.  Trouble is his middle name.”  Clary chuckled sadly.

“Indeed.  I haven’t seen you two together very much.” Jonathan softly pressed.

He despised any pain Clary felt, felt it was his job to make it better.  But relationships were something he understood from an outside perspective and how to manipulate.  Learning how to treat Clary as a human being had proven an interesting activity while he stayed here.  She had kept whatever fight was going on between Jace and herself to herself and Jonathan frankly had more interesting topics to discuss with her than the blond, still he would punch Jace if he learned he had intentionally hurt Clary in any way.

Jonathan vaguely wondered if this continued fight had something to do with Alec’s time spent in the cell.  Jace’s reactions had been both startling and amusing to watch.  Still that was months ago, Clary should have been able to fix it by now.

_“Can’t fix everything.”_

That internal voice sounded suspiciously like Alec during one of his saner moments in the cell, they had sat beside each other for hours speaking quietly while he had carved that rune into his arm in an attempt to stave off the encroaching magic.

_Wasted effort._

Clary downed her cup, setting it aside.  “Yeah, what’s going on with you and Alec anyway?  The comment Max said.”  She shot back instead with a wry smile.

Jonathan smiled derisively.  “Oh dear sister, Alec and I are bonded.  Just as you and I are bonded.  The Silent Brothers informed me I need to create bonds in this world to make life worthwhile.  There will always be a bond there, an understanding.  I believe the term is called friendship.  But he was correct, we are definitely not lovers.”  He informed her.

Clary actually looked taken aback.

“You two spend an awful lot of time together.”  She said sipping at her next drink.

_Comes with the territory of sharing secrets._

Jonathan found his mouth twisting into a wry smile.  “I do believe him ordering my every move in this fancy cell has something to do with that.” Jonathan huffed out a laugh.

“Jonathan, the Institute isn’t a cell.”  Clary reached out holding his hand in hers.

The warmth felt strange, foreign as it always did when he came in contact with a person that was not about to end in violence and blood.

Simon stuck his head in the room.  “Oh good.  Jace sent me to find you.  Maryse has a mission for us.  Jonathan included.  Apparently Alec and Izzy are already out, so no more unwind night.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The first drops of the incoming rainstorm splattered across the pavement, sprawling in a quick sheet Alec could see coming down the block.

_Great, limited visibility._

He turned back towards the lithe form a few feet away dressed in a black dress and usual high heels.

How Izzy managed to fight well in a dress and high heels Alec never could figure out.  It always bugged him that she would rather wear skin tight clothing and impractical shoes rather than be fully prepared for a mission.

_Should wear combat boots for traction at least._

The rain sheet slammed into them, drenching through his dark jeans and sticking his leather jacket to him quickly, weighing everything down.

Izzy finished off the last demon they had engaged with her whip coiling it back into her bracelet.

He eyed the demons body, licking his lips unconsciously.

_Just a taste would take the edge back off._

She strode over to Alec hardly acknowledging the sheeting rain.  Her outfit appeared unaffected clinging to her skin the same as it had when dry.

Alec shifted his quiver on his back, feeling the rain water already weighing it down.

“That’s one den down.  Think the demons will suspect something as the teams start picking off the locations?”  Izzy called through the rain.

Alec shrugged one shoulder.  He could feel the energy from the chrysalis under his skin like a second sense.

He blinked letting the red wash across his vision for a moment, when he opened his eyes it was gone.

“That way.  Next nest.”  Alec said pointing down the street.

“You know, you and Jonathan have an uncanny ability to track demon nests.  You keep working like this you’ll finally take Jace’s spot as best shadowhunter in New York.”  Izzy commented lightly.

_Probably because we have a connection to Edom, past and present._

“Hmm.  Yeah, Jace and Jonathan need to get over their enmity.”  He replied blandly.

“You’re aiming far too high, Alec.  Jace killed Jonathan.  I don’t think anyone can forgive a person for that.  I don’t understand why you two are even friends.”  Izzy responded, walking through the rain with him.

_She’s looking for something._

Alec shifted the bow on his back, the rain making it slide uncomfortably.  “Edom.”

_And dragging me from that chrysalis along with a host of other infractions._

Izzy snorted at that.

“I don’t have to explain why I’m friends with him Izzy, just that I am.”  Alec replied, voice harder.

“Just trying to understand.  Simon tells me it’s like watching the reverse of when Clary first entered the Shadowworld.”  Izzy informed him, hair now sticking to her scalp from the rain.

“A train wreck.”  Alec deadpanned.

“Come on Alec.  Clary showed herself to be a decent Shadowhunter and took down Valentine.  Give her a break.  You can’t keep holding her over Jace.”  Izzy said rather defensively.

“She was, still is.  I have never trusted her decision making.  It just gets people killed.”  He itched at his arm, the demon ichor behind them was distracting.

_Push it away.  Seven weeks, body should replenish your own angelic blood._

If he was honest with himself he was probably still at week eight on the recovery spectrum, resetting every time he let the remnants of the chrysalis sink a little deeper, seeking out the demon ichor rather than trying to reactivate the bond between him and Jace.

_Maybe I should have Jonathan draw that blood replenishment rune on me again._

He shoved the thought away, the after effects of that rune had been abysmal and required far, far too much blood and death.

_Could go to Jace._

Yeah, because that would end in another fight and Jace seemed confused enough by what their bond had turned into.  The flashing thought of Jace pushing him away and pulling him in floated through his mind.  No, he was not touching Jace again.

_Keeps happening._

He ignored that nasty internal voice, rubbing at the parabati rune where it remained heating slowly before sending a flicker of emotion through his bloodstream, something warm coiling through his body pushing the red flickers back.

“You’re brooding.”  Izzy said jolting him out of his thoughts.

“I’m not brooding.”  Alec kept his voice even.

“Totally brooding, Broody mc-broodster.”  Izzy taunted her brother.

Alec rolled his eyes, blinking away the rainwater the moment he did.

His phone went off, it was the Institute calling.  He needed to swipe at it a couple times due to the heavy rain before Alec finally answered the incoming call.  “Alexander Lightwood, speaking.”

“Max’s team just called.  The team is trapped with Shax demons.  It’s a large nest.”  Maryse’s normally controlled voice snapped through the phone, pulling him to a halt.

“Where?” Alec demanded.

A cold jolt of fear for Max went down his spine that he quickly dismissed.  He had made the decision months ago to start putting Max on missions due to his high scores on the practical exams.

She informed him.  It wasn’t far from them and was probably the reason she was calling them, their team was the closest to the required location.

Alec waved at Izzy to follow him and broke into a jog towards the location, Izzy following.

“How many on the team?” Alec inquired enroute.  Adrenaline starting to pour into his bloodstream, he felt the red power respond twisting alongside the spike of adrenaline.

“Six.  Four male.  Two female personnel.  All adults but Max.”  Maryse’s voice shook on the last phrase.

“Izzy and I are enroute.” He said before hanging up and filling Izzy in on the way through the torrent of rain.

Arriving at the location was pure chaos.  The Shax demons were tearing apart one of the shadowhunters bodies preparing the screaming shadowhunter for their demonic eggs.

Alec fired off an array of arrows into the fray.  Heard Izzy’s whip snap around another demon with a _hiss._

_Where’s Max?_

He clinically noted the shadowhunter on the ground would not make it.  Intestines strewn across the ground and red blood coating the pavement.

One of the demons was dragging an unconscious female form back towards the nest.  He could see the cut open abdomen from where he stood oozing the black ichor the demons had deposited.

_Crap._

Alec lined up the bow on the shadowhunter, taking a breath, the red warped across his vision but never impeded it as always.

He let the arrow fly, impaling the shadowhunter in the heart.  The demons dragging the body screeched their distain and rage.  Those eggs would never hatch now the body was deceased.

“Alec!”  Izzy’s terror filled voice had him running towards where she stood now looking into a pit the demons had created for their nest.

Below them four shadowhunters faced off against the swarm of Shax demons, three with their backs facing each other, little Max in the center throwing daggers at the demons.

From his vantage point Alec easily started to pick off the demons below with his arrows, trusting Izzy to keep them off his back.  The ground below was littered in paper and trash, broken pipes everywhere from where the demon venom and ichor had melted it.

“Four left.”  He heard Izzy inform him about the situation behind him that she was protecting.

_There’s too many._

The rain was making it difficult to aim.  He kept firing arrows into the fray below until his hand closed on empty air behind him. 

_Quiver’s empty.  Damnit._

“Going in.”  He informed Izzy before drawing his seraph blade, activating fortitude, speed, and agility again before launching himself into the fray.  Alec heard Izzy’s shout but was already in the air.

Halfway through the jump he saw the dark haired shadowhunter protecting Max’s back drop as one of the demons managed to get under their guard impaling them on rows of teeth.

_No._

Red flashed through his vision, his control slipped as he hit the ground.  The demons near the fallen shadowhunter, himself and Max melted.  The shadowhunter was screaming in pain as his leg caved under him, twisting from the wound and the uncontrolled power that had swept through the limb.

_Control it._

He heard a scream, realized too late that the scream was from another shadowhunter.

Spinning to replace the fallen shadowhunter, he started to draw a rune on the ground.

_This better work._

“Max!  You better activate your shield of fire rune now!”  He shouted as he completed the rune.  Could see from the corner of his eye the fallen shadowhunter, stop pulling on the teeth that had impaled him and start to draw the rune first on himself and then on his comrades ankles.

Fire burst from the rune spreading across the debris slowly, fighting for life in the rain.

Alec grabbed a dagger from his belt throwing it towards one of the broken pipes he had noticed earlier.  It struck but did not give him the desired result.

_Damnit._

A quick glance behind him showed a terrified Max and the other two shadowhunters still fighting, the fallen one now in their center trying to pull the teeth out of his side enough to draw the required Iratze, he also had severe burns along his leg.

He glanced up to ensure Izzy was still at the top of the pit her silver whip slicing through the pouring rain sending a spray of water he could make out from where he stood.

“Close ranks!”  He snapped to the others before dashing over to that pipe.  

He needed to impale three demons just to get to that pipe, slamming into it and drawing the heat rune several times before being forced away by the swarm of demons now turned towards him sensing the weakest link now that he was no longer part of the group.

He could see the traces of the demons magic pulling his attention, all he had to do was reach out and take it, his parabati rune gave an annoyed pulse.

_You are trying to get better.  You have your soul now._

He started to draw the protection from fire rune over his wrist as quickly as he could, needing to stop twice to use his seraph blade when demons drew to close.  He never finished the rune.

The explosion from the pipe followed by the immediate fireball that engulfed the entire area in an inferno threw him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him in a whoosh of air.

Fire burned through his skin spreading across the demons nest in a flash, the rain doing nothing to slow the explosion of hot air and flames.

He could not care anymore, he crawled over to one of the demons bodies dropping his right arm in the ichor.

_Jace forgive me._

The remnants responded instantly drawing the power from the ichor into him knitting his skin back together, he could feel the soul charm Magnus had given him burning into his chest as it always did when he did this.

_It won’t leave a mark._

“Alec!”  Izzy was hauling him up away from the ichor.  “Can you walk?”  Her voice sounded muffled and distorted.  She was scanning him over for injuries.

Between the bright fireball, sheeting rain, and dark muck Alec doubted she could make out much.

His vision swam as he stood up still staring at the demon’s body.  The red magic curled inside him locked in a war with the warm pulse of the parabati rune.

The fact he was standing was enough for Izzy, she moved away to gather an unconscious Max up.

“Alec!”  Izzy yelled insistently.

_Control it._

He turned away from the body searching for the others.  Izzy held the unconscious Max, the shadowhunter that had been impaled had finally managed to draw an Iratze and was being held up by the blonde female.  The last shadowhunter that had been standing now lay still, a piece of rubble straight through his head from the blast.

Alec closed his eyes briefly, taking a breath.  Red sparked across his vision making him want to annihilate everything.  That or bury himself into Jace’s soul again.

“Institute now.  Izzy take point.  I’ll call for the medics to meet us halfway.”  Alec shook his arm out, itching at it.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_Stupid damned rain._

The thought zapped through Jace’s head a second before the rusted fire escape rung he was climbing up gave out throwing him off balance for a moment.  Recovering, he quickly traversed to the top before leaping towards the next platform.

“I saw that.”  Jonathan snickered from below him.

_Stupid damned ex-demon._

“You’re welcome to take the lead.”  Jace called back.

“I’m good.”  Jonathan said.

“Is this going to make hunting this demon nest easier?”  Simon asked when they all reached the top of the building.

“Depends.”  Jace replied, heading to the opposite side of the building peering down at the street searching for the demon they had been following.

_There._

“On what?”  Simon inquired.

The demon scuttled between the oblivious crowds of people, carrying something tucked under its arm.

“If it’s the fire breathing kind or not.”  Clary replied.

“There’s fire breathing demons?  Do they look like dragons?”  Simon asked, pulling his sweatshirt hood up in an attempt to stave off the rain.

“No, they spit oil at you first.  Then ignite you.  They look like smoky lizards.”  Johnathan replied eyeing Simon with something akin to contempt.

Something tugged at Jace’s memory at that comment.

He rubbed at his parabati rune as it gave a strange pulse.  It did that occasionally and Jace had no idea why.  It did not feel like the pulse and burn when Alec’s soul was inside it, but something different.

The demon took a right into a store marked with an advertisement for a psychic.

_Great.  A warlock._

“I think we have a warlock working with the demons.”  Jace announced to the others, pointing towards the building.

“Oh.  I know her.  She loves demons.  Particularly loves ones with several limbs and large appendages.”  Jonathan informed the others.

_I didn’t need to know that._

Clary and Simon both gave Jonathan mixed looks of revulsion, while Jace dropped down to the street below.

The others landed beside him a moment later in a light splash.

“I can go talk to her.  I can bring Simon with me so long as he loses the hoodie.  She won’t suspect a vampire as much.  She enjoys things that can suck.”  Jonathan commented easily.

“Yeah, go talk.  Clary and I will get in from the back, see what’s going on in there.”  Jace told him.

It should not be getting easier to work with the maniac, but strangely it was.

He clenched his fist and ran through the cycle of fingers.  It felt different this time, with a start he realized it was because he did not actually feel wary of Jonathan tonight.

Jace made a conscious effort to keep a watchful eye on Jonathan now.  He disliked the thought that his guard had dropped around the psycho even for a moment.

“I’m not giving up my hoodie.  This is a dragon ball Z hoodie.”  Simon announced it like that was supposed to mean something important.

“Lose the hoodie.  I’m sure you can put it under damages incurred on the report.”  Jace told Simon pushing his blond hair out of his face where the torrential downpour had pushed it.

Simon grumbled but removed his hoodie, revealing the soaked tshirt underneath with the words “Dragon Ball Z” stretched across the front.

“That is not much better.”  Jonathan deadpanned.

“He looks fine.”  Clary said.

Jace found himself agreeing with Jonathan, before turning the small grin that was forming back into a frown at the red headed male.

Jonathan checked over his own appearance once.  “Come on bloodsucker.”  Jonathan said starting across the street not bothering to wait for Simon.

Jace watched a very pale Simon walk with Jonathan across the street.  Simon turned once to look back at Jace and Clary flipping them the bird to show exactly how much he disliked this idea.

_It’s a good idea._

Jace and Clary leaped back up the buildings to take a more roundabout way to the back.  His leather jacket was sticking to his skin uncomfortably, even his boots were soaked in the water.

He gave a nod to Clary when they reached the point to drop down to the buildings backdoor, before dropping down splashing in a puddle of water.

Jace froze, seraph blade deactivated but clutched in his hand.

The door remained shut, no raging demons or angry warlocks came out.

Clary landed in the water a second later, splashing water over his pants in a cold slosh.

_Thanks for that._

He moved over to the door, checking for fire alarms and traps, beginning to draw the correct runes while Clary disabled the fire alarm.

_At least after the breakup we can still work together smoothly._

Once complete, she stepped back behind him as he carefully pushed the door open.

He waited a beat before lunging inside.

Leaving the torrential rain came as a mild shock.  So did the scent of rotting meat.

“Jace do we have a plan B?”  Clary whispered.

_No, that’s usually Alec’s job.  Damnit._

“Not exactly.”  He replied quietly.

They moved quietly through the room, Jace peered at some of the bottles and cages that all seemed to be housing body parts of animals and humans.  He froze as something caught his eye.

_That’s not good._

There was a shelf filled with what appeared to be warlock marks.  Hunting warlocks had been strictly banned.  Worse this mission just became a lot more complicated due to needing to pull Magnus in.

Jace felt uncomfortable working with Magnus, especially since Alec had his soul back and things were confusing enough there without a third party shoving their nose where it should not.

“Jace, there’s a shelf here of vampire teeth.”  Clary whispered.

“Yeah, I think this particular warlock is going to be the mean kill on sight type.”  Jace informed her.

There was a chirp to Jace’s right, he spun throwing his dagger at the sound where it impaled the small demon they had been tracking.

Something clattered to the ground.

Clary shown her witchlight on it, it was a red gem about the size of his fist.  It seemed to be swirling with something inside gently.

“What is it?”  Clary asked.

_No idea._

“Nothing good.”  Jace said.

He grabbed one of the empty jars before nudging the gem into it with his dagger.  Sealing the small jar and pocketing it before motioning for Clary to check the next room.

They could hear low voices above them speaking, one masculine and the other softer, clearly female.

Jace felt a chill go down his spine on the next room.  It was filled entirely with cages, all with demons trapped within them, every demon seemed to be asleep.  Either from a spell or a drug Jace did not know nor care.

There was the sound of furniture sliding quickly across the floor before the distinct sound of something massive and metal hit the floor hard.

_Shit, this was not a good idea._

Jace broke into a run heading for the stairs he could see, banking on Clary following him.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Jace found Simon entrapped in some kind of metal cage that had clearly fallen from the ceiling.

Jonathan was crawling out from under another metal contraption, his leg torn and shredded by the metal that had sliced through his leg.

The warlock screamed something in another language before she reached up towards the ceiling.  Jace reacted instinctively, he kicked off the floor activating his agility and speed runes as he rolled.  He felt the whoosh of the metal as is slammed down behind him barely missing him.

_Shit._

Clary’s sunlight rune blasted by his head leaving bright spots dancing in his eyes.  He shook his head trying to clear it, felt Clary rush by him.

By the time he managed to see again, the warlock had thrown several balls of energy at him and Clary, all of which he managed to dodge due to her being blinded by Clary’s direct sunlight rune to her face.

That idea did not last long as he realized both he and Clary were standing in the middle of a massive symbol etched into the floor.

Simon was clearly screaming at them something, but no sound emitted from his mouth.

“This shall be precious.  Two angel blooded ones ripe for me.”  She held an orb in her hands that she was pulling magic from and throwing it towards them forcing both himself and Clary to retreat as it slammed into the floor before them.

The symbol at their feet ignited with flames.

_Fucking hell!_

He leapt one way as Clary leapt the other, both just managing to clear the symbol as the flames completed.  The warlock screamed her rage.  Her scream cut out.

Jace looked up from where he had landed, seeing Jonathan standing behind the warlock, seraph blade straight through her heart.

“Fucking hell move!  She’s killing everything for the demons ritual for the void!”  Simon screamed from his cage.  He stopped looking confused for a moment before relief flew across his face.  “Thank G-, I can talk again.”

Jace found one corner of his mouth turning up at Simon.

“Well, that went smoothly.”  Jonathan said, dropping the body carelessly and stepping over it, retrieving the orb she had dropped.  He walked over to Jace before shoving it into his chest.  “Take that to Magnus.”

Clary scuffed the marks around Simon’s cage with her boots before she lifted the metal contraption off of Simon slowly, he crawled out from under it quickly before she dropped it back down with a thud.

Jace glanced down at the red orb, it felt warm in his hand.  “You know what this is?”  He queried towards Johnathan.

Jonathan glanced over from the massive symbol etched into the floor.  “Several warlocks powers all siphoned into a magical package of doom and destruction.”  He responded with a slight shrug.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

After dropping off the orb at Magnus’s with a confirmation that the warlock had killed seven of her kind to create the orb, the team returned home.

Walking in the door, Jace was instantly accosted by Izzy.  She threw her arms around him in a sob saying something unintelligible.

“Max had a bad mission.  Myself and Izzy got to him in time.  He’s in the infirmary.”  Alec said as he approached them.  He looked terrible, the sleeve of his leather jacket was completely gone appearing like it had been torn off revealing the entirety of the Edom stained arm which appeared bright black, demon ichor still stuck to places on his jacket and pants that the torrential downpour outside could not rinse off.

_No._

“What happened?”  Jace demanded as Izzy pulled back from him.  She looked a lot better physically, no major marks and her clothing was all intact, her face was puffy from crying though.

“Mission went south.  They lost three others before Izzy and I got the situation under control.”  Alec turned to head back towards the infirmary.

_Damnit._

Simon, Clary, and Jonathan headed towards the Ops Center to perform their mission report and get cleaned up.

Jace made his way with Izzy and Alec to the infirmary.  Max thankfully was not too banged up, a head wound that the doctors wanted to keep him for overnight due to his past history, and a ton of scratches and some mild poisoning that he would recover from within a day or two.  But the part that made Jace’s stomach plummet was the wide-eyed, blank look Max held.

_Shock._

Probably his first time witnessing death in the field.  Hearing about it, knowing about it, none of it compared to seeing it happen before you.

Max noticed Jace with a start, his face twisting up as he tried to hold back tears suddenly.

“Jace, I’m sorry.  I lost it.  The demons took it.”  Max cried.

_Huh?_

Jace came and sat down next to Max.

“Hey it’s ok.  What did they take?”  Jace asked.

“The weapon. The Skeptron.  I don’t know why but they took it.”  Max said.

_Ok, that’s odd._

“Hey, there are plenty of other weapons out there.  A weapon is a weapon.  All you need is a weapon in your hands and a strategy to win.  Don’t worry about the hunk of metal.”  Jace calmly told him, giving him a hug.

“What type of demon was it?”  Alec asked standing at the foot of the bed.

“Um…something small.  Looked sort of like a lizard, I felt the fur on it, it was fast, chirped alot.”  Max said.

Jace glanced over at Alec to see if he could make sense of the description.  Alec shrugged, shaking his head in the negative slightly.

“Well, we found a small furry demon with a red gem on our mission to warlock hell.  Think it might be the same?”  Jace spoke his thoughts out loud as he pulled the container out.

Alec shifted to lean over him to look at the red crystal, the body heat distracting Jace for a moment.

“What would the demons want with a skeptron gem?”  Izzy questioned from her side of the bed.  “All it does is absorb Edom magic.”

“We have no idea what that gem is.”  Alec stated.  “One of you can return to Magnus’s to have him examine it or give it to one of our resident warlocks to inspect.”  He gave the order easily before straightening back up.

_Resident warlock it is.  I’m not going out in that wet crap again._

“I’m going to go give Mom the report.  Max feel better.”  Alec said before heading out quickly.

His rune burned something through his system, the same burn he felt every few days.  Twice today.

_Damnit.  You’re avoiding me again._

“Hey, Jace.  Can you show me how to apply the heat rune to melt the demons?”  Max inquired leaning back in his pillows looking like he really wanted to sleep but adrenaline and shock kept him awake.

Jace exchanged a confused look with Izzy.  “Uh.  There is no way to use the heat rune on your body.  You know it’s only used for objects and non-living beings.  Unless you want to torture someone.”

“Alec did it.  I’ll just ask him.”  Max said tiredly, snuggling further into the bed as a nurse came over to check him over again.

_That happened before._

“Alright, Max.  You get some rest.  If you need anything just holler for Izzy or I.”  Jace patted him on the shoulder before going in search of Alec.

He was not hard to find, still in the office with Maryse now discussing a new strategy when Jace pushed the door open.

“You could send in thirty shadowhunters.  The sheer number of demons at the central point would be enormous.  They’ll guard that with everything they have.  We’ll either need to enlist the warlocks’ assistance or send in our best stealth crew.”  Alec was saying when Jace walked in.

“I was thinking about sending you.”  Maryse stated simply.  “You understand range, you survived Edom, and you already know what your objective is.”

_Like hell he’s going in there solo._

Jace saw Alec’s hands tighten behind his back where he stood.  “I had help.  Jonathan kept me alive.  If it wasn’t for him, I would not have even made it across the plains of Edom.”

“You can’t send just one person in there.  That’s a suicide mission.”  Jace blurted from his spot at the door.

Maryse sent Jace a stern, silent look.  “You need to wait outside, Jace.”  She said sternly.

Jace walked forward.  “You send him in there, he’ll come back as a demon.  You want us to go through that chase again?”  He snapped at her, his hands coming down on her desk with a smack.  Alec stiffened beside him.

“Jace.”  Alec said warningly.

Jace whirled on him, their eyes connecting in a clash.  “You, don’t get to talk.”

“Jace, Alec will not be going in alone.  We are discussing strategy on who to send.  We’ve discussed Blitzkrieging this as well.  Now please exit my office until I call you.”  Maryse’s voice had steeled into something hard and immovable.

Sufficiently reprimanded Jace turned to exit the room, fists clenched at his sides.

He fumed outside but the longer he waited the more he realized he really just wanted Alec alone to talk.  He didn’t even know how to begin the conversation, but it needed to happen.

It was not long after he decided that before Alec exited the office.

Jace looked up from where he had been leaning against the wall.

Alec stood across from him, arms crossed expression hard.

“What the hell was that about?”  Alec asked sharply.

Jace pushed off the wall.  “Come on.  Let’s go talk in my room.”  He said it quietly, turning his head away from Alec, suddenly feeling a sharpness behind his eyes.

Jace hated the surprise he felt when Alec followed him without comment.

Once in his room, he set the container with the red gem on the bedside table.  Ignoring Alec’s slight frown that he had not dropped it off with a warlock yet.

Jace sat down on the bed, patting the spot beside him.

After a moment, Alec left the door he had remained near to sit down beside Jace.

Jace could hear the storm raging outside, the rain hitting the window harshly in large sheets.

“I’m glad you blasted the demon off Max.”  Jace said quietly into the room.

Alec let out a shuddering breath beside him, before reaching out gripping Jace’s hand tightly, grinding the bones together.

Jace did not complain about the pain, turning slightly to search Alec’s face.  Alec turned away, not meeting his gaze.

_Stop running from me._

He reached out a hand to turn Alec’s face to him.  He could see a flicker of surprise and wariness in Alec when he gently ran his fingers across Alec’s cheek, sweeping his hand down to Alec’s shoulder squeezing slightly over the damp skin.

Alec watched him quietly, but the pressure on Jace’s hand increased.

“How can I tear this out of you?”  Jace whispered, running his hand down Alec’s arm in the familiar gesture.

“Jace…”  Alec said.

“Damnit, Alec.”  Jace shook his head, hand traveling back up Alec’s chest to squeeze his shoulder.  “We gave each other our souls.  And you are killing yourself over this addiction.”

_You gave me your body.  You gave me your heart ages ago I just did not realize._

“You think I don’t know that?”  Alec asked, the usual harshness was gone, replaced with a silent exhaustion Jace could hear in his voice.

Jace felt his brow creasing at the exhaustion in Alec’s voice.

“I control it.” Alec murmured.

_Like hell you do._

Jace leaned back allowing Alec his space.  He rubbed a hand across his face, sighing.  “You know I won’t want to be alive if you die, right?  Shared soul.  What you are doing affects me too.” Jace blandly stated, watching Alec out of the corner of his eye.

Alec grasped the pendant soul charm laying on his chest, pulling it out of his shirt, it glinted in the room’s low lighting.  “This keeps them separated.” Alec told him.

_Us or something else?_

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  Jace asked just barely managing to keep the irritation out of his voice.

Alec didn’t hide secrets from him.

_Yeah right, he hid his feelings for you for years, hid his pain enough that you couldn’t even tell he was about to commit suicide.  Hid his plan to travel to Edom.  Hid how well he understands Jonathan and not you._

Jace closed his eyes against the internal reprimand to himself.

When Jace’s eyes fell closed, Alec spoke. “The parabati bond and the remnants from the chrysalis.”  Alec said quietly, a barely there shake to his voice.

Jace felt his heart clench at that sound.

_Fear.  Alec was afraid of his reaction._

Jace ran his hand along the black lines on Alec’s arm slowly, goosebumps had broken out on Alec’s flesh from the soaked clothing they both still wore.

He heard the storm send a gust of rain into the window harshly.

“Alec, you need to separate it.  If we need to we can have Magnus perform the same ritual on you he did before.”  Jace proposed.

Jace let the suggestion hang in the air, watching Alec’s face which had twisted into conflict.

“I control it.”  Alec snapped a moment later.

_Damnit.  Why can’t you let it go?_

Alec moved to get up, Jace shot his hand out stilling Alec.

He saw Alec swallow before allowing Jace to pull him back to sit down on the bed.

“Jace…?”

“Our souls are tied together.  I can’t watch you do this to yourself, to us.”  Jace knew his voice was nearing begging, shook his head to clear the sharpness behind his eyes.

Alec’s impassive mask remained.

Jace suddenly hated it, felt his jaw clench.  Hated that Alec needed that control, that need to constantly put up a barrier between himself and even his own parabati.

_I’m going to fucking break your control._

“Jace, if it was not for the demon ichor I would have destroyed you.”  Alec said impassively.

_No, you’d rather just become a demon than face me._

Jace did not voice the acerbic comment, instead leaning the small distance to brush his mouth against Alec, surprising even himself with the gentle caress.  Watching as Alec’s eyes fell shut before closing his own, deepening the kiss.

Jace pulled back slightly, letting his mouth brush Alec’s when he spoke.  “Tell me how you control it when you hunt demons for their power?”  He said softly, Jace felt the jolt run through Alec at the question.

“I control it...”  Alec whispered into his mouth, it was starting to sound like a mantra.

Jace slanted their mouths together, trying to convey the hurt he was feeling.  Pain watching his parabati ruin himself slowly all over again.

He felt Alec’s hands come up to slowly touch his shoulders before running down his sides pushing the wet, leather jacket aside.  Jace could feel Alec’s hands shaking.

“You aren’t going to hurt me, Alec.”  Jace informed him softly.

Alec scoffed slightly.  “You have no idea.”

Jace reached out pushing the torn jacket from Alec’s shoulders, tugging at the shirt underneath.  “Tell me what you need me to do to you for you to let it go.”  Jace said quietly as he undressed him.

“I don’t need anything, Jace.”  Alec informed him sounding distant and allowing Jace to tug the wet clothing from his upper body.

“You need me.”  Jace responded.

_Stop struggling with me._

Jace reached out through their bond intentionally pushing his desire into it.

Alec hunched forward. “Fuuck.” Alec hissed out.

Jace smiled slightly at the sound letting his hands wander across Alec’s chest.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The moment the heat from the parabati rune hit his system Alec felt his control nearly shatter.  That white hot pulse returning through the rune pushing the red sparking in his vision to the side.

_He wanted him._

Alec felt something shift in the way Jace was running his hands across his body.  It reminded him of when Jace had been inside him, it had been there as well – a feeling he did not want to name and could not define.

“Jace?”

Jace just leaned forward kissing his shoulder slowly moving up his neck, holding him in place with one hand at Alec’s jaw.

“This.  Us.  Isn’t supposed to be a struggle.”  Jace murmured into his neck sending trails of heat down his body.

_It has to be._

Alec could not fathom not fighting this feeling.  He had lived in fear of Jace ever discovering his feelings and when he had Jace had brushed it off as if it was nothing.  This new shift in their relationship had left Alec scrambling for a solid purchase, a barrier to keep up.  For years he had tried to keep himself at a distance, only for it to completely crumble under Edom’s power.  That distance had zapped to nothing for weeks the majority of his soul interlocked with Jace’s in a warm pulse and burn that he knew if he ever fully gave into would burn him up and never leave.

The thought of Jace not accepting that, Alec was uncertain he could survive that rejection without giving in to that red power instead.

“Jace…”  Alec tried to push a warning into his voice, it came out hushed.

Jace trailed open mouthed kisses along his chest, dropping lower across Alec’s flat abdominal muscles.

_Fuck, just give in to the feeling for a moment, then leave._

Alec dropped his head back as the sensations sparked through his system.

Heat was pooling low, Alec snapped a hand out to Jace’s shoulder to stop him when he moved to drop lower. 

“Jace…stop…”

Alec brought his head up to look down at Jace, who was peering up at him with a dark smolder, lips turned into a small wry smile. 

“You sure about that?”  Jace asked, rubbing his jaw across Alec’s length over his rain soaked pants.

Heat moved through his veins at Jace’s look, the same moment red sparked in his vision, he pushed it away with a thought.  Alec stared into that smolder a few beats longer. 

_Fuck.  He could never deny Jace anything._

He dropped his head back letting his body fall fully on the bed.

“Take your clothes off.  They’re soaked.”  Jace told him rubbing his head against Alec’s ab muscles in a small twist, before peering back up at him.

Alec searched Jace’s eyes seeking the challenge he expected to find there, needed to find there.  It wasn’t, just a smoldering heat shifting with another emotion hidden in Jace’s eyes.

“You first.”  Alec challenged.

After all the years of Jace pushing him around he was not bending to this easily, he needed to be certain.  The weeks with only part of his soul he still did not fully trust.

_We keep ending up here anyway._

The thought did nothing to appease his nerves about Jace leaving.

Jace surprisingly did not snap a comment about how Alec was halfway undressed.  The blond stood up slowly shrugging his soaked leather jacket off followed by the rest of his clothes.

The memory of teasing Jace with a vague strip tease at the loft felt like a distant memory now.  Alec was pretty sure he had been delirious the days following the chrysalis anyway. He had wanted to give in then.  Could not, the fear of the chrysalis’s power unleashing on Jace or being detected by Magnus, stopping him.  Feared anything that would make him forget about controlling it even for a moment. 

Alec swallowed when Jace’s gaze never left his the entire time.

_Just control it long enough to see him._

A bright flash from the storm outside lit up the room briefly, bathing them in white light, Jace’s blond hair turning white, black runes turning stark for a moment.

There was a flicker of a frown on Jace’s face, it made Alec wary of what Jace could see in Alec’s eyes.

_What are you seeing?_

Jace reached out to grasp Alec’s right hand guiding it to the parabati rune on Jace’s side, moving it to the promise rune further up on the opposite side.

_I don’t understand…_

Alec pulled Jace onto the bed rather than ask.

_I don’t want to know_.

He followed the tug with a slide of his tongue against Jace’s mouth, swallowing the soft groan that emitted from him.

Jace made a noise of discomfort, pushing him off.  “You’re wet.”

Alec found himself almost flashing a smile.  Found he could not, his heart twisting too much and focused on tugging the rain soaked garments off his own body before rolling to lay beside Jace.

Tracing each rune across Jace’s body with his hands Alec leaned forward to start tracing those same runes with his mouth and tongue.

_I love you._

Whatever had become of their bond he knew he could never utter those words for Jace to hear.  Not now, not ever.  The last time he had their bond had nearly broken under the strain as Jace put the walls up blocking him out to replace him with Clary.  Instead he whispered them softly against Jace’s skin, knowing he murmured it against his skin too quietly for him to hear, the rain and the wind blotting out sounds.

When Alec ran his hand up the inside of Jace’s leg, Jace stretched down stopping the wandering hand before it reached its destination.

Alec glanced up at Jace recognizing a silent plea to not touch him there.  Alec gave his wrist a small twist and bypassed the area stretching his hand across Jace’s abs instead brushing along their shared rune.

“There you are.”  Jace whispered on a groan hands fisting into Alec’s hair.

The familiar comment left him feeling sad for some reason.  To wipe the feeling away Alec surged forward to lock their mouths together suddenly aggressive.  Sliding against Jace hotly.

Jace used an old grapple move to twist them around so he came up on top, never leaving Alec’s mouth.

From there it became primal instinct, hips thrusting and breaths mingling.

Jace’s tongue was leaving him dizzy with need, aching for more.

_More, Jace.  More._

Alec tensed when he felt Jace reach down to prepare him, the hot tongue in his mouth grinding out any questions he wanted to ask Jace leaving him a broken moaning mess.

When Jace pushed into him thought cut out completely.

_Fuck._

The red light flashed across his vision.

It was obliterated on a thrust from Jace who seemed determined to have Alec pass out from lack of oxygen.  That or pleasure.

Alec felt Jace entwine his right hand with his tightly, something hard between their hands.

The rolling, thrusting rhythm forced him to arch his neck on a cry.

Alec lost it when Jace bit his neck hard, Alec arched under him sharply feeling the hot stickiness hit between them, felt his control completely slip on the power within.

He could not bring himself to care, he had Jace locked within him.  It’s all he wanted right now.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The burning in his hand is what woke Jace rather than the raging thunderstorm outside.

_Ow._

Jace looked down at his hand that had held the red crystal, it had burned an imprint into his hand.

It was probably among his more stupid decisions of his life, but he took a bet on instinct that the gem was the same one from the Skeptron.  It did look the same, well before he had taken Alec it looked the same as he recalled.

Now it burned a bright red, swirling red mist glowed inside.

He carefully set it back in the glass container with a small clink.

Alec shifted in his sleep.

Jace stroked his hand down Alec’s side to touch the parabati rune, letting his hand rest over it.

_“I love you.”_

He doubted Alec was aware he had heard him whisper that against his skin, it sent his stomach into knots of desire and want just from the memory of Alec breathing the words into his skin.

_When did it change?_

The thought went unanswered.  He had no idea when his own feelings for Alec had shifted, he didn’t believe it was only due to the bond.  It might have helped but he must have had those feelings buried somewhere even before Alec went to Edom.

He rolled his eyes at himself, recalling the jealousy he had felt when Alec had announced his first wedding to Lydia.

_That was a disaster._

Alec moved in his sleep before stilling again on a sigh when his body came in contact with Jace’s.

Alec’s breathing shifted slightly.

Jace rubbed his fingers along the skin around the parabati rune he still held his hand against.

“Jace?”  Alec’s sleepy voice filtered through the air.

_Here goes nothing._

“You know I would do anything for you.  Guard you soul, your body…”  Jace took a breath, forced himself to say the next part because this seemed to be the only thing that worked. “your heart.”

Alec turned over to look at him more fully, something partially guarded in his expression.

Jace waited, he knew it would come, either violence or passion.  He had spent the last few minutes staring at it in shock when he had woken up.

Alec lifted his right hand up to rub across his right eye first.  He repeated the motion again as if checking something in his vision first.

Jace felt himself frown at the strange motion.

Alec suddenly sat up inspecting his right arm, turning it over and around.

“Where.  Where is it?” 

The conflict in Alec’s voice threw Jace for a moment.

He wished he had hidden that container, too late now.

“Apparently, our parabati bond pushed whatever you took from the chrysalis out.” Jace quietly informed him, throwing Alec a wry smile.

_Or a massive chunk at the least._

Alec’s gaze fell to the glowing crystal sitting in the glass canister, emotions skittering across his face to quickly for Jace to grasp.

Jace felt himself tense, ready to tackle Alec.

Alec turned towards him brushing their mouths together.

Jace remained unmoving for a moment, muddled, before slanting his head to kiss Alec back properly.

_You chose me..._

He found himself smiling into the kiss, nearly giddy.

Alec pulled back slightly. “What?” Alec questioned.

“You smell like burnt Shax demon.”  Jace said instead.

“Shower?” Alec asked, a smile starting to form.

“Yeah.  Go jump in there first.  I’ll be in in a second.”  Jace told him, brushing a kiss across Alec’s mouth.

As soon as he heard the shower turn on, Jace grabbed his phone calling Izzy.

_Come on, come on pick up._

“Jace?  It’s like 3:00 in the morning.  By the angel.  Is it Max?”  Izzy’s sleepy voice came violently awake.

Jace mildly regretted causing her this much concern, wincing at what he was about to put her through.

“Get to my room now.  I need to give you something and you need to take it to Magnus immediately.  Take Simon…Hell take Jonathan with you.”  Jace hissed quietly into the phone.

Jace swiped the canister off the bedside table, moving towards the door.

_Thank God Izzy’s room is just a couple doors down._

He opened the door before she could knock, not even bothering to put clothes on.  Her eyes went wide but he ignored it shoving the canister into her hands and shutting the door quickly.

“Jace!  What the hell-“ He clicked the phone off.

He’ll explain it to her later.

He made it to the shower just as Alec stuck his head out to see what was taking Jace so long.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“It’s pouring like cats and dogs outside.  Why couldn’t Jace take whatever secret mission we’re on to Magnus himself?”  Jonathan growled.

“That’s an idiom.”  Simon replied, hunching under his jacket in an attempt to stave off the torrential downpour.

“I don’t care what it is.  Let’s get it to Magnus’s.”  Izzy snapped.

_My makeup isn’t even on and I’m in sweatpants.  Sweatpants!_

The fact Jace, Jace of all people told her to involve Jonathan on this little trip screamed just how dangerous whatever it was she held under her jacket was.

_Why were you naked?  What is it?  Why the fuck were you naked!?  Why does it feel like it’s going to eat me?_

It’s not like she had not seen Jace naked before.  Their line of work with demons, injuries, and rune placement made that more or less inevitable.  Plus that unfortunate timing with a security camera, _twice_.

“Holy shit!”  She said her realization out loud causing the other two to look at her oddly and snap to attention searching for danger in the sheeting rain.

Finding none Jonathan turned towards her.  “Shall we continue on this riveting dash through madness?”  He inquired, clearly still annoyed having been woken up at such an ungodly hour to run madly through the rain for a reason she refused to give him.

_I’m not even sure why you agreed to come with._

“Yeah, sorry.  Just really weird night.”  She responded as they jogged up to Magnus’s loft.

Simon started pressing the buzzer over and over and over again.

Izzy flipped her phone out to call Magnus.  Magnus knew they were arriving, she had already called him several times on the way out of the Institute until he woke up sounding disgruntled.

The door opened for them and the three spilled into the warm, dry building.

Izzy took off up the stairs, Simon passed her in a blur reaching Magnus’s landing first and started pounding on the door.

Magnus opened the door, red robes and some shiny black pants on.  “This had better be good.”  Magnus replied calmly to her frantic state, Jonathan appeared irritated and Simon had come just because she had called him.  Thankful he only had to use his vampire speed to meet her at the entrance to the Institute from his home.

Izzy stepped quickly inside, followed by the others, before pulling the glass canister of “whatever the hell Jace gave me” out and handed it towards Magnus.

Jonathan took a few stumbling steps away from it with a muttered curse in some language she did not understand.

“My thoughts precisely.”  Magnus announced, scooping the container out of her grasp with his blue magic.

“So what is it?”  Simon asked.

Magnus paused, searching the three over.  Jonathan kept inching away from it slowly.

“This is Edom’s magic, trapped.”  Magnus cocked his head, peering at the red orb.  “In fact it has the exact magical signature that Alexander had when I was pulling it out of him in that cell.”  He banished the canister away.  “You said Jace gave this to you?”  Magnus inquired calmly.

_At 3:00 in the morning, naked.  Yup._

“Yes.”  Izzy, crossed her arms in front of her because right now she wasn’t sure if that little container meant a good thing or not.

Magnus studied her for a moment, he had sparkly makeup on neatly in place.

Izzy wore only a wet sweatshirt of Simon’s and soaked pants, it left her feeling strangely exposed.  She shoved it aside, she was stronger than that and these were her friends.  Well most of them were anyway.

She glanced towards Simon and Jonathan because she really had nothing more than Jace’s pure desperate panic to get it out of the Institute to go on.

“Did he tell you anything about where he obtained it?”  Magnus inquired.

She noted Jonathan had inched his way all the way past Simon and back to the door.  He appeared pale now, but was gaining some color back.

_Weird.  Does he fear Edom magic now?_

She suddenly grinned as blue magic wrapped around Jonathan once again coalescing into bells.

Jonathan’s color returned quickly turning into a bright red anger across his face.

“Seriously?”  He growled.  “I’m not your pet.”

Simon snickered from his spot, eyeing Jonathan in amusement. “Should start calling you “Bluebells.””

Jonathan’s eye and jaw twitched.

“No, Jace did not give me much except to give it to you immediately.”  Izzy replied to the original question.

Magnus cocked his head to the side peering at Izzy with his brown eyed ancient look as if he could pull the truth from her.

“I’m unsure if it’s the same gem he was talking about last night that they found at a warlocks lair.”  Izzy finished, twisting her snake bracelet.

_Thought it was dull, this one is bright and if my other theory is right.  Just crap._

“It’s a Skeptron gem.”  Jonathan said, tugging at the bright silver bell on his neck in further annoyance, sending a death glare at Simon for his comment.

Izzy’s attention swung towards the ex-demon hovering by the door, wet hair sliding uncomfortably against her neck.

“Which means what?  Max had one this whole time, Jace was the one who gave him the weapon for his runeing celebration.  It’s a weapon any Shadowhunter can use.”  Izzy commented.

_I swear if you made me run through the rain for nothing Jace, no demon will compare to my wrath._

“Skeptron gems absorb the magic of Edom.  They were designed to keep the Shadowhunter wielding it safe for a time until the gem filled up and eventually cracked.”  Magnus informed them.

“Wait.  I could have used Max’s weapon this whole time to extract the remnants of Edom from Alec?”  Izzy questioned Magnus, wandering over to the couch and grabbing a blanket because she was dripping wet, cold, and now had just found out she could have been helping her brother all along.

“Tried it.  Didn’t work.”  Jonathan responded.

_When?_

She turned to look at Jonathan expectantly.  He apparently was oblivious in how conversations worked because he did not elaborate.

“Going to elaborate for us?”  Izzy growled.

_That’s my brother you are experimenting on._

“Hmm.  Oh, when I broke his ribs with it during training.  It absorbed some of the magic from him but it was an infinitesimal amount that he did not even notice.  I only knew it worked because the gem was empty prior.”  Jonathan said wandering over to the closet to pull out some dry clothes for himself, bells chiming and tinkling as he moved.

She could see Simon holding back a grin when the bells made a particularly loud sound.

“Hmm, the three of you are not going back out in that storm.  You’re all drenched to the bone and its 3:30 in the morning.  Go find some rooms and sleep.  We’ll have a nice breakfast in the morning and I can further test it in then.  I am a gracious host after all.”

Magnus studied the group.  “Isabelle, come with me.  I’ll show you to your room.  Traditional custom mandates showing a woman to her room.”  Magnus waved an arm towards Izzy, his deep red robe flowing down his body easily.

Izzy found herself smiling at Magnus’s chivalry, giving a quick kiss to Simon before following Magnus.

Magnus showed her to one of the many spare bedrooms his loft held and with a flourish of his hand had it redone in a deep red and black color scheme.

“Thanks, Magnus.”  Izzy said.

“Isabelle, if there are demons and warlocks gathering remnants of Edom’s magic.  I do believe they are attempting to open a new rift for another hellish realm.  If there is something you are not telling me about that orb, I need to know.”  Magnus told her directly.

_Rumors and hunches, nothing concrete._

Isabelle glanced at Magnus, she trusted him implicitly.  “I’m sorry, Magnus.  Max had a bad mission last night when Jace brought up the orb he discovered...we didn’t really have enough time to discuss it with everything going on.  I do know Alec ordered Jace to give it to you or one of our resident warlocks.  But it looked differently than it does now, so I’m not 100% certain it is the same orb or if Jace was being Jace and doing a clandestine mission or not.”

There that covered her rational scientific self, pure facts, no hypothesis’s to confuse.  Mostly.

Magnus bid her goodnight and Izzy let herself fall into the bed.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Jace sipped at his juice in the lunchroom at the Institute, trying to roll one of his shoulders to ease the ache that filled his entire body.

An ache that he completely enjoyed last night, he just had not realized how much his muscles were going to scream at him the next morning.  Apparently, setting his mind to ensuring Alec about passed out from pleasure had one drawback, muscle fatigue and the current ache in his back and the sharp burn in his hand from the orb.

Alec was already gone when Jace had finally woken up sometime around noon.  Knowing Alec he probably had not slept more than two hours before needing to start his day.

He glanced at the bandage he had wrapped around his hand.  An Iratze had not healed it and he assumed it was due to the fact he had pressed that orb between their hands when he had seen the veins glowing bright red.

_What the hell was I thinking?_

That stupid red crystal could have been anything, but as usual he went with his gut instinct.

_Paid off at least._

Jace found a small smile creeping onto his face pleased with himself.

_Made him lose control._

“You look pleased with yourself.” 

Izzy’s voice, followed by her tray of food getting dropped in front of him as she sat down in front of him.

“Explain.”  She commanded before digging into her food, he could see the dark circles under her eyes and winced internally.

Jace took a sip of his juice followed by just chugging the whole thing to give himself more time to think.

Izzy waved her fork at him impatiently her dark eyes narrowing at him.

Jace set the glass down.

“Forgot to give it to Magnus last night when we were at his place, it started acting strange.”  He tried, crossing his arms in front of him and meeting her dark eyes.

Izzy gave him a deadpan look of disbelief. 

Jace glanced to the side.  “Fine, just not here.”  Jace amended.

Izzy gave him a small smile scarfing the rest of her lunch down in record time before dragging him off to the piano where few people ventured.

_Fuck, this conversation is not one I want to have._

“Alright, start talking.”  Izzy demanded once Jace sat down at the piano.

_So pushy._

He would still love Izzy regardless, just this was beyond awkward to try and explain.

_“Yeah, I fucked your brother until he lost control and dumped a ton of Edom’s power into that orb I gave you.”_

Izzy would have accepted that, but his pride would never let him live it down.

“That orb I gave you last night, it pulled power from Alec.”  Jace said, trying to put it as lightly and basically as possible.

Izzy leaned against the piano.  “Yeah, that’s what Magnus suspected.  It carried the same signature as the power he drew from Alec when he was still in the cell.  Jace, I was freaking out all morning because you told me you suspected Alec had an addiction to magic and then you just threw a ball of power at me that essentially holds Alec’s addiction.  What is going on?”  Izzy demanded.

Jace rubbed his hands over his face before leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees.  He wanted to look at her when he said this, but damn it was hard.

“I think Alec got infected again when he interacted with that chrysalis.  Our parabati bond when…activated a certain way had the strength to push that power out.  I just don’t know how he is handling it now.  He left before we could talk this morning.”  Jace informed her.

He watched as Izzy went from frazzled to a dawning realization followed by her devilish smirk.

_Fucking hell._

“No.  No, Izzy, it’s not like that.”  Jace snapped, mortified that she knew.  Again.

“You were naked.  I think it’s precisely that.”  She said amused and serious .

_I’m not giving her more ammo to hold over my head._

“I can tell he still wants that power.”  Jace told her instead, trying to move this conversation past mortification towards anything useful. 

Izzy’s arms came up around her body.  “Jace, that power.  It felt like it wanted to eat me and even Jonathan seemed afraid of it.  Magnus said there are warlocks working on distributing the power from the previous orbs he had siphoned Edom’s power from Alec back into nature, said he can handle this one since it’s much smaller in scale.  But with that warlock killing other warlocks in his own city, Magnus is taking a trip to the Labyrinth to ensure all the other orbs are accounted for.  Apparently, he and Jonathan have a running tally on which greater demons have been killed since the destruction of Edom.”

Jace glanced up at Izzy’s brown eyes that was a lot for one morning.  “Does Maryse or Alec know?”  Jace asked.

_That information could be crucial in their current demon attacks and void-rift making problem._

Izzy pursed her lips thinking.  “I don’t know.  Alec’s new integration of Downworlders is still new and mom never told me anything about more than two greater demons wandering New York.”  Izzy relented after a moment.

“Great let’s go integrate some more.”  Jace said, pushing away from the piano.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Magnus felt the cool rocks of the Spiral Labyrinth as he walked passed.

In many ways the warlocks hidden base of magical knowledge was very similar to the Nephilim’s Silent City.  Both underground, secured, and filled with dangerous knowledge.

He spotted a tall female figure dressed in a scoop neck black dress approaching him.

“Tessa, my dear.” Magnus said as he reached her.

Tessa reached out and embraced him in a quick hug.

“I received your message about needing to ensure the Edom infused orbs were all accounted for.”  Tessa acknowledged turning to guide him further into the Labyrinth.

Upon reaching the location the warlocks assigned to shifting demonic energy into nature Magnus quickly realized all were accounted for.

“They are all accounted for.”  Magnus stated more to himself.  He counted them again.

_Yes, all are here.  Does not explain anything of what Isabelle gave me._

She had said Jace gave it to her.  The power was clearly linked to Alexander.  Jace had brought Alexander back somehow through the parabati rune, that much was confirmed.

Magnus had suspected the parabati rune would be involved due to the amount of soul energy he had seen orbiting around Jace’s parabati rune like a neon comet when Jace had first been injured.  That energy had suddenly become invisible after the shadowhunters trip to the chrysalis.

_Unless they performed a ritual prior to that.  Jem kept pushing that the shadowhunters had everything they needed to bring Alexander’s soul back._

Magnus had thought Alexander was surviving off of Jace’s life force.  He knew some shadowhunter parabati that had become so close that they died within hours of each other even if the remaining one had originally been healthy.  He understood Alexander and Jace had become closer, but he doubted they could overcome years’ worth of secrets and lies in the weeks since Edom.

_None of that helps me figure out where this new bit of power came from._

Either way, Magnus had acquired his answer to the important question.  All the orbs he had siphoned power into from Alexander were accounted for.

Double checking each one himself by scanning the orbs with his power.

Once complete he thanked Tessa and portaled his way home, thanking changes in dimensional time that he did not miss more than a few minutes from his normal day.

 

 

O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Maryse appeared as calm and collected as the office she sat in.

_Used to be Alec’s office._

The mahogany desk, the rich carpet, every piece of furniture clean of paperwork, mahogany filing cabinets all neatly closed.

_It used to have a more lived in feel._

Jace glanced at the spot Alec used to keep for Downworlders to drop off complaints, suggestions, or information even if they did not wish to meet with him directly.  It used to be stacked with papers surrounded in a blue glow to keep others from digging through it.

Jace had let Izzy do most of the talking concerning the knowledge Magnus was working with towards the demons amassing during her entire speech Maryse appeared unruffled, back straight.

Izzy sat as straight and primly as possible, legs crossed, hands neatly clasped in front of her unmoving during her short speech.

“Well, I must admit, I am surprised you two both came and told me.  But I already know.  Magnus contacted me with a list of greater demon names the day after Alec miraculously healed.  I am concerned that the demons are attempting to track down these Edom infused orbs to reopen a path to another hellish realm, it was sheer dumb luck you found that one at the warlocks lair Jace.”  Maryse informed them with her usual stern voice casting a hard look at Jace.

Jace heard the door open behind them, felt Alec’s presence like a heat wave.

“I’ve got eleven teams drawn up, the last team…”  Alec stopped scanning the three in the room, the usual tablet for work held in one hand.  “What is it?” He asked sharply.

“Jace and Isabelle want to recruit the warlocks to assist in our attack on the demons portal-rift they are intending to open.”  Maryse informed him.

Jace scanned Alec’s form, leather jacket and black glove still covered his right arm, dark circles with a sheen of sweat.

_Withdrawal?  Exhaustion?  Did I even reach you?_

“I can integrate the warlocks into the plan on the other points.  I’m not putting anything demonic in the center.  I’m not throwing another warlock into a hell realm as a sacrifice.” Alec stated walking over to where Jace and Izzy sat on the black sofa.

Jace bit back the comment that instantly wanted to rip from his lips staring up at Alec defiantly.

_Tell me I pushed it out…_

Just need time to talk sense into him.  Or rip his clothes off and check yourself.

_Focus._

“What team are we on?”  Jace asked Alec, because they were parabati it was expected for them to go into battle together.

Alec’s dark gaze sharpened on Jace.

Jace had to fight the urge to reach out and grasp Alec’s arm.

“You always say you are the best.  Now you get to prove it.  You will be part of one of the center teams.  I’m still working out the details.”  Alec said, before frowning at Izzy’s less than steller appearance.  “Get some rest, it’s an order.  We are moving tomorrow at eleven hundred.”

Izzy rolled her eyes at her brother.  “You look like shit too, Alec.”  She reprimanded.

“Isabelle is right.  Finish the preparations for the mission tomorrow and sleep.  All of you.”  Maryse ordered from her desk.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace had finished his normal duties and completed sharpening and runeing all his weapons before he headed back to Alec’s room.  Mostly he just wanted to ask Alec how he was feeling, maybe sleep without violence occurring for an hour.

He reached Alec’s room, reaching for the door.

“That good you saw inside of me.  I can’t do what you are asking of me.  I can’t, Alec.  I can’t risk becoming that ugly monster that Clary was disgusted by, she hated me then.”

Jace froze outside Alec’s door hand hovering over the doorknob.

_That was Jonathan’s voice._

“I’m not asking you to, I’m asking you to help destroy the very thing that can infect us both, again.  The chrysalis didn’t affect you.  You can approach-”  Alec started.

“Because you made it!  The power we will face, we won’t have the souls inside you to help channel it.” Jonathan interjected.

“Struggle with this all you want.  You are coming on this mission.  You will survive this even if I have to rebuild you from scratch.”  Alec snapped.

“Yeah, pure one, who will control you?” Jonathan said snidely.

“Then you kill me.”

Silence.

“Done.”  Jonathan said.

Jace spun and blindly pushed his own bedroom door open, slamming it shut before Jonathan or Alec exited.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_“You will find your friends dead…”_

The soft knock on his door pulled Jace from his doze he had fallen into.  He clenched his fist hard, moving his fingers before he cracked his eyes open and turned towards the door.

It was being slowly pushed open.

_Terror._

His heartbeat accelerated wildly and he swung towards his bedside grabbing the seraph blade there, swinging back around with the blade raised.

Jace froze.

Alec stood there, black hair damp from a shower, dressed in worn sweats clearly having finally reached the pinnacle of wakefulness he could manage.

_Alec._

His heartbeat evened out, shaking off the nightmare Jace stared at him.

“You going to put that down or stab me with it?”  Alec joked cautiously moving into the room, kicking the door closed behind him.

Jace dropped the seraph blade to the floor with a clatter.

He jumped from the sound still staring at Alec.

“How do you feel?  After last night.”  Jace blurted the question out.

Alec tensed, hand itching at his arm before reaching up towards his face, dropping his hand before it touched.

“Strange.  Different.”  Alec murmured, looking towards the floor clearly having not expected the question.

_That’s it?  No, no more hiding._

Jace was off the bed in a shot, grabbing Alec’s shoulders.

“Talk to me, damnit!” Jace yelled.

Alec reacted with a snarl.

“Does your ego need an explanation of your performance or do you want the report on the fucking cavern you just removed from my blood!?” Alec growled back, shoving Jace back harshly.

Jace staggered back more stunned from the words than the actual push.

“This isn’t about me.  This is about your addiction and -” Jace said.

“It’s always about you, Jace.” Alec interrupted him harshly before he could get the words out, shoving Jace back again.

Jace felt his brow furrow in anger and confusion.

“ _You_ need _me_.  You started this when you came back from Edom.” Jace said waspishly intending to hurt.

The words hit hard, pain and something breaking in those dark brown eyes in front of Jace.

“I don’t need you.” Alec snapped.

_Yeah, right._

“What are you afraid of?” Jace snapped back shoving Alec back hard enough to gain the ground he had lost.

“I’m not afraid of you.  You never needed me.”  Alec started angrily.

_No…_

“Because you never let anyone but Magnus and Jonathan in!” Jace spat shoving himself into Alec’s space clenching his fist in preparation for a swing.

Jealousy coiling in his gut.

_You talk to Jonathan._

Alec glanced up at the ceiling, hiding his expression briefly.  “You just walked away every time a problem of mine came up.  Your priorities have always been yourself.”  Alec said.

_Not anymore._

“Maybe if you told me…” Jace began relaxing his fist and reaching out a hand.

Alec deflected it, swiping Jace’s arm to the side forcing him to drop it back to his side.

“You wouldn’t even acknowledge it!  You just come in when you think you need to save me from myself and leave.” Alec snarled loudly into Jace’s face.

Those words hit Jace’s heart hard, wrapping around and squeezing.

_It’s not like that at all._

“Alec…”  Jace whispered.

Alec scowled crossing his arms.  “What?” Alec bit out.

Jace stepped closer, swallowing.  “We’re parabati.  It’s ok to feel something for me.” He whispered.

Alec’s scowl only deepened, tilting his head back and closing his eyes as if in pain.

_Look at me._

Like a magnetic force, Alec turned his face back towards Jace, only his expression had turned steely and cold.

“Jace what you did-“ Alec began without inflection.

“That’s what this is about.”  Jace whispered.

Silence.

Alec said nothing.  Expression morphing into wariness and taking a step away from Jace.

Jace gripped Alec’s sweatshirt in a fist stalling the motion.

“Our parabati bond is strong enough to keep your soul.  It’s strong enough to hold onto our each other through heavenly fire, through death, through Edom.”  Jace gripped tighter on the fabric staring into Alec’s eyes.

Blue and brown heterochromia boring into brown.

_Believe me, please.  I don’t think I can do this chase again._

Alec grabbed Jace hard, the only warning Jace received before Alec smashed their mouths together pushing into Jace hard.

Jace opened his mouth on a startled gasp when their teeth collided.  Alec snatched the opening, plunging his tongue into Jace’s mouth ravishing and possessive in its intensity.

_You’re mine._

Jace bit Alec’s lower lip hard.

Alec bit back harder, punishing.

Jace clawed his hands across any part of Alec he could grasp.  Growling when Alec grabbed his hair to tilt his head back and carve out a spot in Jace’s mouth with his tongue.

_Fuck, I need you._

Jace tried to claw the thought into Alec through his clothing pulling him closer until there was no space between them.

A knock on the door broke them apart, panting into each other.

Both searching the others eyes, brown-blue locked with a darker shade.

“Jace, Maryse is calling that meeting about taking out the demon symbol.”  Clary called through the door. “Can I come in?”

Alec ran his hand across Jace’s parabati rune, his hand clenching tightly over the skin there before drawing back, straightening and his stoic mask falling into place.

“I told you.  He loses all ability to hear when he’s sleeping.”  Izzy’s voice sounded through the door.

“Good thing he doesn’t sleep while hunting demons then.”  Simon said.

_Shit.  All of them._

He moved away from Alec feeling like he was missing a crucial moment between them.  Words left unsaid.

Jace pulled his door open.

“Come on let’s go do this mission.” Jace said to the others, pulling the door closed behind him before they could notice Alec’s presence.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The Main Ops Center had more shadowhunters assembled than Jace had seen since their attempt to search out Valentine.

“Think you can convince Alec to move me to your team?”  Izzy whispered twisting her silver snake bracelet nervously.

_Not sure I can convince him of anything right now._

“I haven’t had a chance to look at the teams yet.  Why aren’t you with me?” Jace asked.

Magnus Bane and twelve other warlocks stood off to the side conversing.  Some showed their warlock marks easily, others remained hidden beneath a glamour.  One with coiling yellow horns, another with perfectly smooth green skin, and another warlock with a tail.

“Because apparently Alec still doesn’t trust us.”  Clary’s bitter voice sounded from his other side.

A glance showed her glaring daggers in Alec’s direction as he entered Jace’s line of sight.

_He hasn’t slept._

“He’s got me and Clary and some other shadowhunters and a warlock, Catarina, in one group.  Izzy is with a completely different group.”  Simon said.

_Great strategy, throwing Clary with a bunch of unknowns.  Izzy by herself.  What were Maryse and Alec thinking?_

“Attention.”  Maryse’s sharp voice rang out across those assembled.  “Here is the layout of the city.  We have marked in red numbers where each group will be portaled to exterminate the demon nest that you will find there.”

Maryse waved her hand across her tablet to pull up a picture of a demonic symbol, lines twisted in the center of several circles.

“This symbol will be at each location.  We don’t know if it will be large or small.  You need to find it and destroy it.  Each group has been assigned a warlock to help locate this symbol.  It is imperative that none of our warlocks’ blood touches these symbols.”  She continued.

_Well, shit.  Hordes of demons._

“When you break that symbol.  Send a flare up and call it in to the Institute.  Dismissed.”  Maryse turned away from the assembled group heading towards Alec.

“You’re on the team with Magnus.  When my section is cleared I’ll be coming to you with my team.”  Izzy informed Jace.

_Where most of the power lines converge before warping to the central point._

Jace stared at the number in the center of that symbol across the city.

_1._

“What team number is Alec on?” Jace asked feeling his gut already starting to clench.

“One, with Jonathan.”  Izzy said.  “Mom thinks since Jonathan understood the symbols in Edom he would be the best to break the focal point without risking any of our warlocks’ blood hitting the most crucial part of the symbol.”

_It’s not the warlocks’ blood I’m worried about._

Alec strode over to their little group stopping in front of Clary.

“All shadowhunters have been taught your sunlight rune.  Your job is to travel to each location following the circle before following the internal lines and ensure the demonic symbol is destroyed.  Simon will be carrying you with his vampire speed.”

Clary threw her head back. “Isn’t that redundant?”  Clary asked belligerently.

“I’m not risking the destruction of our world on this plan going smoothly.  You are backup plan B and I am counting on you to do your job without pulling any of your normal stunts.” Alec informed her sharply.

“We have a plan C?”  Simon asked nervously.

Alec glanced towards where Jonathan was striding towards the group already fully geared up.  Most of the other shadowhunters gave him a wide berth still, he swept across the room like a tide.

“Yes. And those people have been informed of their roles as well.”  Alec stated.

“You ready for this?”  Jonathan asked Alec as he drew near them, slinging an arm over Clary’s shoulder in a half hug.

Clary looked at her brother strangely at the unusual show of affection before sliding her arm around him to return the half hug.

“Not really, but we have a job to do.  Jace, see you on the other side.”  Alec responded casting one last look at Jace.  That look held for a moment, suspended for a second, before Alec turned towards the armory to gather his weapons.

Jace instantly regretted not reaching out and at least hugging him.

Jonathan turned towards his sister framing her face with his hands.

Jace felt himself tensing up hand dropping to his seraph blade.

“Clary you know I love you, don’t forget that I was good.  At least for a little while.”  Jonathan told her desperately.

“Jonathan, we’re siblings.  I’ll always love you, no matter what.”  Clary responded, smiling at the show of affection although a little thrown by his words.

Simon rolled his eyes at Jonathan muttering something Jace couldn’t catch, but sounded like “bluebells.”

“Come on let’s go get into our teams.”  Izzy said.

Jonathan twirled something in his hand.  “Excellent.”  He slammed it into Jace’s arm pulling it back quickly.

_What the fuck!?_

Jace lunged at Jonathan who had already stepped out of range using Clary as a buffer between them, pocketing something small and red.

Jace felt his body lockup, punching fear through his body.

_The Owl isn’t here._

“What the hell, Jonathan!”  Clary snarled spinning on her brother.

Jonathan shrugged.  “Just listening to orders.”  He walked away without acknowledging the rest of the fuming group.

The fear passed as quickly as it had come.

Jace rubbed at his arm looking at the spot Jonathan had just stabbed him with something sharp.

_Injection?_

“Hey!  What the hell did you inject me with!?”  Jace yelled after him.

Jonathan ignored him turning out of sight.

_Fucking asshole._

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The first wave of teams had already left to begin.

Jace spun his stele waiting for the signal for Magnus to open a portal for them to jump to their location.

He had already written anti-venom and anti-virus runes on his body having no idea what Jonathan had given him.

_Still feel normal and healthy._

Maryse’s phone rang out loudly through the quiet in the hall.

Jace could see her answer it from where he sat with Magnus and the rest of his team.

His team was the only one left to be portaled in.

_Right into the fire._

Alec had gone with Clary’s team at the very start since none of the warlocks had been to the location marked on the map, so he had to hoof it.

“Team Two.  Activate the portal.”  Maryse’s voice rang out.

Magnus stood up dusting off some invisible dirt from his fancy black jacket before snapping his arm around to create the required golden portal.

“Portal to hell coming right up.” Magnus said deprecatingly.

Jace leapt through first seraph blade already drawn.

He came out in a roll feeling his blade tug slightly in his hand as it sliced through a demon.

_Shiiit._

He knew they were jumping into the presumably thickest part of the demon nest but the sheer numbers was not what he expected.

Jace found himself slicing through two more before needing to roll out of the way of a larger scaled demon dropping from above.  Another shadowhunter shot it down before it hit where he had landed.

He heard the portal close behind him.

Everything within Jace’s vision turned red incinerating in a splash of gore and blood.

Jace turned his head to gape at Magnus who was holding one arm outstretched towards the main section of the nest a reddish flare of magic writhed around his hand.

_Holy shit._

Jace was half tempted to ask if Magnus could just blast through everything for them, but already knew he couldn’t.  Magical exhaustion would put Magnus out of the fight before they made it to the true center point.

“Not going to be able to do that often.”  Magnus commented lightly.

Jace could hear some of the other shadowhunters muttering in awe.

A screech had them all facing the newest threat.

It wreathed in smoke, its gray scaled body pitching forward onto the ground scurrying towards them with eyes glowing red.

“That one is immune to warlock magic.”  Magnus warned.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_Failure just means do it again._

Alec clenched his hand, pulling the leather glove off flexing it.  The black lines were so very faint now, all he had to do was let his own body heal naturally now and he would be fine.  Well, he was about to fuck up all Jace’s passionate work.

_Jace will live, that’s all that matters._

He glanced at Jonathan who appeared black given all the demon ichor he had coated his body with to keep the demons from smelling them.  Alec knew he looked the same.

Jonathan touched his shoulder pointing down to the largest demon below them.

_“How does sanity feel?”_

The old remembered question from Jonathan made Alec smile grimly.

_Today it feels like blood and tastes of death._

He dropped on the demon plunging his seraph blade into its back, tearing it open, before punching his right arm into its body letting the faint black lines darken again.

“Time to move, pure one.” Jonathan pushed after a moment grabbing Alec and hauling him away from the body.  “I do need your mental faculties intact.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Fire blasted past Jace as he dove behind a pile of demon corpses.  The stench of burning flesh made him gag once before managing to swallow down the growing bile.

_Fucking shit!  Dragonidae!_

Mythological demons that were supposed to be extinct.  Extinct being the operative word.  Alec had told him a couple years ago he had fought one, Jace had not believed him fully thinking it was a Vetis demon instead.

_“It’s not extinct enough.”_

Alec’s angry comment when Jace had contradicted him made Jace smile wryly in remembrance as he peeked over the burning demon corpses to check where the dragonidae had wandered to.  He dropped back down into his temporary cover.

_Back turned, three other shadowhunters across room, Magnus crouched near its flank._

Easy kill.

Jace activated his speed, strength, and agility runes with a thought throwing himself over his cover, running at the massive demon.

It heard him coming turning its giant head towards him, flames licking from its mouth.

Jace saw Magnus weaving his hands together casting some spell from the corner of his eye.

Jace hit its tail, launching himself further up the demons back using his seraph blade to anchor himself into place when he landed.

The dragonidae howled thrashing in pain nearly unseating him from its back.  Fire poured from its mouth straight at Jace.

_Shit.  Time to go._

Jace threw himself to the side using his seraph blade to slice through the demons side as he fell both to injure it and slow his fall.

Blue engulfed him a moment before the red fire seared him, wrapping around his body pulling him out of the way of the demons fiery breathe.

“Next time warn me you are suicidal.”  Magnus snapped still hunkered down in his cover.

“Nah, mean beastie wanted to get stabbed in the back.  I obliged it.”  Jace tossed a cocky smile towards Magnus.

He could see the other members of his team had attacked when Jace had, taking advantage of the fact it faced away from them.  One shadowhunter had neatly sliced one of the legs off, another had managed to lodge a spike in the demons eye.

The temporary cover of bodies he and Magnus hid behind exploded as the demon slammed its tail down into the corpses spewing demon ichor and guts across Magnus and Jace.

Magnus rolled fluidly out of the way.

_An opening!_

Jace took advantage and slammed his blade through the back half of the demon’s tail cleaving it halfway off its body.

A shadow crossed overhead.

Jace threw himself out of the way just as a giant piece of rubble slammed into the demons body puncturing through where a lung should be.  The demon lay still.

Jace performed a quick head count, the other three shadowhunters were accounted for as was Magnus.

Magnus was carefully pulling bits of demon gore off his shiny jacket, before deeming it not worth the effort or magic.

“You just dropped a rock on it.”  One of the shadowhunters said.

“Yes, Jace actually gave me the idea.  Stab it in the back.  I don’t have a dagger the size of that demon so I made one.  A rock.”  Magnus conceded with some mirth.

_He’s going to incinerate me for sure if he finds out about what I’ve done to Alec for his soul._

“Let’s find that symbol and move towards the center.”  Jace ordered the others.  His parabati rune alerting him that something was wrong.  The pulse and burn must have started during the fight with the dragonidae but now that he stood still it screamed a warning to him.

“Searching.  I have three channels of power and that support symbol to filter through.”  Magnus responded irritably.

_Well search faster._

“Grid pattern search.”  Jace ordered the other shadowhunters with him.

Jace started pacing the room they stood in scanning the ground with the other shadowhunters, performing quick 360 degree checks every few steps checking for more demons coming their way.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Alec wished someone could invent a comm system that would work long range.

He and Jonathan had now been cut off from communication from the rest of the battle for a couple hours sneaking through the dark demon nests slowly, killing enough to activate the remnants in his arm which burned with hot fire and stabbing ice, his parabati rune giving off warning pulses each time.

_You can do this.  Control it just a little longer._

Jonathan moved back beside him from where he had scouted ahead.

“Here.  Thirty sacrifices.  I’ll take the left side, you take the right.”  Jonathan whispered drawing his blade.

_Angel, forgive me._

Alec pulled his bow out, crawling forward to peer over the ledge.

_No…_

Mundanes.  Elderly, children, women, and men all lined up in a neat row.  All listlessly sitting facing the symbol on the ground meant for their living blood.

Alec closed his eyes.

_Whatever it takes._

He drew his bow back.  A breath.  The bow shook slightly, he steadied it.  Fired the arrow into the youngest killing them instantly.  The next fifteen seconds were a blur.

Grab arrow, draw, fire, death.  Draw, fire, death.  Repeat.

The soldier in him acknowledged that Jonathan had dropped slicing through ten of the mundanes easily while his arrows flew.

Jonathan kept moving as the demons surged towards him dropping flasks filled with oil behind him as he ran.

Alec pulled out one of his explosive arrows, drawing and firing not waiting for Jonathan to fully clear the area.

The arrow hit, oil caught fire a moment later igniting the bodies and the demons.

Something black and metal whistled through the air slamming into Jonathan piercing his shoulder clean through in a spout of blood.

Jonathan barely made a grunt.

Alec watched Jonathan scarcely even register the pain, he pulled the metal pole out of his body spinning it with his good arm looking back at the oncoming six larger demons.

Alec drew a bead on one of the demons in the lead slamming an arrow into its head before dropping down to the floor.

As soon as his feet hit the ground he could feel it.

Power.  Red.  Hot and malignant.

_Not yet._

He could see it under the ground undulating in time to an unknown heartbeat.

The distraction cost him.

He snapped his gaze up, bringing his seraph blade up at the same time impaling the demon that had managed to get close while he had been sidetracked.

He never completed the blow.

The demon’s claw slammed towards his side the same moment his blade pierced its chest, Alec threw himself sideways feeling those lethal claws slice his side open.

Coming up he saw Jonathan kicking a demon off the metal pole he had impaled it with.

Alec glanced down at his side.

_Non-lethal.  Flesh wound._

“You two are becoming very annoying to remain dead.”  A grating voice pushed through the darkness.

Pushing that desire to reach into the ground and pull that power further into Alec.  Whatever Jace had done did made it easier to not give in.

_Jace is never going to forgive me for this._

Jonathan smiled broadly at the new demon’s disembodied voice.  “Life needs to be interesting, worth living.  Death stops.  You finally get a taste of that, you can’t return to your precious void can you?”

Alec quickly fired off three more arrows as Jonathan beheaded another demon with the black metal pipe.

“Viciousness becomes both of you now.  Come now Jonathan you know you miss the strength and I know your little angel friend has been corrupted.” That dark voice was irritating.

_Show yourself demon._

Alec scanned the area they stood in, the flames only casting an eerie glow across the darkness.

The power under their feet gave a stronger pulse, he could see it burn brighter.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace and the other shadowhunters had completed about half the room in search of the symbol when he felt a pressure in the air.

“Jace, we have a problem!”  Magnus’s suddenly shouted.

_No mission goes smoothly._

“What?”  Jace called back still scanning the floor and pillars he walked past for the symbol they needed to break.

“The power flow has increased from the west.  I think one of our units fell.”  Magnus informed him staring at the floor with golden glittery cat-eyes.

_Fucking terrific._

“Can you hold it off?”  Jace inquired.

The amount of power that was going to take would be like moving leylines again.  Jace knew the warlock was capable of it, was uncertain how long Magnus could hold that power back for.

Jace continued to squint into the gloom of the underground chamber they were in, activating his night vision rune with a thought, searching the floor and kicking aside demonic bodies to check underneath.

_This damn symbol better not be underneath the dragonidae._

Jace glanced over at the massive body that lay on the far side of the room where they had managed to kill it.

“For a time, you need to make sure that center one Alexander and Jonathan are located near gets destroyed first otherwise the rift will open regardless.  The warlock blood is boosting the power.”  Magnus warned stretching his arms out, hands spread flat towards the ground.

Blue magic was spiraling forth from Magnus’s hands hitting the floor and quickly changing towards a golden color.

_We don’t even have this one destroyed yet…_

Two of the shadowhunters closest to the dragonidae activated their strength runes to lift the leg of the massive demon, pushing it to the side to continue their search for the required symbol to break.

A sharp intake of breath from Magnus had him glancing back towards the warlock.

Magnus was crouched towards the ground arms straining against the unseen battle of power Jace’s eyes could not fully see.  Magnus’s golden cat-eyes eyes were locked on the massive dragonidae.

“It’s under the big one isn’t it?”  Jace questioned.

Magnus swallowed, gritting his teeth as the power flowing from his hands shifted into brighter and brighter streams of power.

“Yes.  Hurry up and break it.  It will help with the strain.”  Magnus grit out sweeping his arms back, pulling one arm closer to his body before repeating the strange pulling motion using his magic.

Jace jogged over to the demon with the other shadowhunters.  “Two of you use sunlight runes.”  Jace pointed to another shadowhunter. “You help me cut this thing open.”

Jace glanced at the female shadowhunter, one he knew had dated downworlders, and he hoped his next request would be taken well.

“I need you to go help Magnus by giving him your strength and energy for as long as you can endure.”  Jace ordered her.  She paled slightly, giving a sharp nod and went to stand beside Magnus reaching her hand out to touch his shoulder.

Between the sunlight runes and two seraph blades the group made quick work of chopping up the demon.

Ichor and guts spilled across the floor coating his boots.

The shadowhunter working with Jace gagged and Jace fought his own reflex to join him.  The demon smelled like brimstone and burning rot.

Pulling apart the monster became an arduous task that took longer due to the ichor covering the floor, but they finally managed to locate the symbol they needed to break beneath the body.

_About time._

“Sunlight rune.  Together.”  Jace ordered the shadowhunters beside him.

Jace drew the sunlight rune across his left hand, thankful that the bridge rune on his right had been draw there by Alec.  Trying to draw the sunlight rune with his non-dominant hand would have been painfully awkward to the point the rune might not even work.

The other shadowhunters followed suit and between them they blasted away the ichor that had leaked from the large demon’s body.

A sharp crack sounded and part of the floor gave way as the demonic symbol was disabled.

Jace smiled turning towards Magnus beaded in sweat.

“Power is still flowing, the initial outer circle hasn’t been broken yet.”  Magnus grit out reaching out a hand and grasping at a thick line of magical power extending from his hand pulling it to the side.

_Damnit._

Jace pointed at two of the shadowhunters.  “You two head to the surface send the flare out and call in our status on the symbol.”  Jace pointed at the two remaining.  “You two stay with Magnus, protect him and offer him your power if he needs more.  That power he holds back cannot head to the central location.  I’m headed to rendezvous with Alec’s team.”

All orders being carried out Jace headed towards the central location.  There was a demonic rune that needed to be destroyed and his parabati rune was starting to pulse and burn against his side again sending bolts of adrenaline through his body.

_It’s not fear._

He knew he was lying to himself.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The darkness around Alec was increasing, the oil burning casted a lower and lower light as it ate through the fuel and burned the corpses.

“Azazel.”  Jonathan replied into the darkness.

_I thought I banished him back to the void._

“Perceptive.  I have always admired your ruthlessness Jonathan, but right now you are in my way.”  The grating voice, Azazel, said from the darkness.

Alec swung his bow through the darkness, brown eyes probing for any sign of movement.

The smoke from the burning bodies was starting to make his nose burn and his eyes water.  Alec blinked trying to clear them.

_Damnit where are you so I can send you back to hell._

“Might have to go to plan D before Azazel is taken care of.”  Jonathan muttered quietly to Alec.

Cold dread filled Alec at that thought.

He gave a slight jerk of his head in acknowledgement eyes not leaving the darkness.

“Jonathan.  You released me from Duduael.  Consider this an offer to guide the greatest uprising this world will ever know.  Throw his precious angel blood on the rune, we open the rift.”  Azazel offered, his grating voice warping into something smoother.

_I made him.  He’s not yours._

Alec refused to take his eyes off the darkness before him to look at Jonathan’s face.

_He has a family now.  Clary loves him, he won’t destroy that._

“Done.  Everything is about survival and how to control the masses anyway.  Have to rebuild it somewhere.  Why not here.”  Jonathan shrugged casually, tossing a knife into his hand.

Alec slowly turned his gaze towards Jonathan that knife glinting in the low light.

“Pain means you are alive.”  Jonathan said slashing across Alec’s upper leg.

Pain bloomed across his leg followed by the wet dampness of blood.  Alec dropped into a roll away from Jonathan blood smearing across the ground as he went.

_Damnit, that was deep._

Alec lowered his bow enough to draw the Iratze across his skin activating it quickly.

Jonathan advanced towards him seraph blade raised.  Alec could see Azazel stepping out of the shadows to watch the kill.

Snapping his bow up, arrow knocked.  He felt the light brush of the red fletching against his jaw for a moment.  Alec fired the bolt through the air.

The dark bolt zipped past Jonathan entirely rushing straight for Azazel’s chest.

Azazel reached out and caught it in his grasp, smiling.

_Damnit to hell, I hate greater demons._

“That was the wrong decision.”  Azazel smiled.

A pressure wave of sound and pain hit Alec a moment later forcing him to his hands and knees.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Crawling through the darkness under the city of New York Jace had not anticipated the shockwave of debilitating sound to slam into him knocking him to the ground.

Gasping for breath and blinking his eyes against the pain Jace rolled back to his hands and knees, pushing himself to his feet as he activated his angel blood.

_I have to be close._

Jace crawled over three more pipes laying across the ground before he was free of the claustrophobic underground maintenance tunnels he had been traveling through to avoid a pack of demons.  Breaking out into hazy light filtering down from above.  Looking down he felt his blood run cold.

The view showed him Alec and Jonathan, both on hands and knees, some two dozen or more mundanes butchered along a giant symbol etched into the floor, and what could only be a greater demon standing in the center of it all.

_Greater demon.  Alec.  Mission._

Acknowledgement of his screwed up priorities did not even factor into Jace’s roll from his spot two floors above the greater demon that held Alec and Jonathan to the ground with his power.

_Fucking hell!_

The giant black rift opening in the sky above him that factored into his priorities fast.  The sight sent fear slamming into his gut, his gut dropping just as fast as his fall.

Jace slammed his seraph blade into the demons spine catching it completely off guard, his knee slammed into the ground jolting pain up through his hip at the abuse.

“NOOO!  We needed him to…”  Jonathan started screaming.

_Next time I won’t save your sorry ass._

Jace yanked the seraph blade from the demon’s spine swinging his blade across its neck cleanly beheading it.

Jonathan scrambled to his feet and charged at Jace.  “Move.  Move.  Get off it now!”

“We need to close the rift!  We need to go back and get Magnus to close the rift!”  Jace shouted back at him.  His parabati rune gave a twisted heated pulse before erupting into pain.

_Alec._

Jonathan slammed into him half dragging, half pushing Jace away.

_No!_

“Magnus has his end of the rift to contend with.  Alec controls this.”  Jonathan said, pulling Jace away.

_Control…_

The word sent a fresh batch of dread through Jace.

Jace twisted his body yanking his arms down breaking free of Jonathan’s grasp.  He swung his gaze towards Alec stumbling to a halt.

Alec had his right hand pressed to the greater demons chest, the black demon ichor coating every part of Alec making it difficult to distinguish if the lines of black he had thought were gone were arching back up his parabati’s arm.

“You want to help?”  Jonathan hissed. “Wait until that rift it closed,” he pointed above their heads where the roiling black rift could be seen.  “then activate your parabati rune with every little angel blooded bit you have.”

_It will be to late then._

Jace lunged back towards Alec, Jonathan predicted the move blocking Jace’s path with a seraph blade to his neck.

Jace’s eyes went wide hand convulsing at his side.

A heartbeat later, Jace snapped his own blade up batting the sharp blade away from his neck.

“You want him dead?  Revenge against me for killing you, is that it?”  Jace snarled at Jonathan.  “He made you!”  Jace sprang at Jonathan aiming to impale his ribcage with his blade.

Jonathan swiped the blade to the side in a clash that sent sparks off the two swords his lips slowly turned up into a slow smile.

“I told your parabati I would kill them all, every last one of them.  He granted me _years_ to get my revenge.”  Jonathan forcefully said pacing before Jace seraph blade flashing through the shifting light.

_That doesn’t even make sense._

Jace tracked the sharp seraph blade long enough to watch it cut across Alec’s form in his vision.

A vision disturbingly similar to how he had appeared at the chrysalis.  Kneeling, dark head thrown back, eyes open towards the sky.

_Don’t do this again._

Jace clenched his hand around the hilt of his blade.  The parabati rune felt like it was on fire.

_Please, let me get to him in time._

“You need to get out of the way Jonathan.  I killed you once, I _will_ kill you again.”  Jace coldly informed Jonathan.

The murky light from above was starting to shift.

Jonathan barked out a short laugh, a slim taunt in his voice.  “You won’t.  Alec remade me.  What kind of bond do you think it gives us?”

_Something weaker than our parabati bond.  His soul is tied to mine._

Sunlight streamed down from above casting Jonathan in light, retaining Jace in the darkness.

_Attack.  Now!_

Jace brought his seraph blade up stabbing forward on an attack that would imbed his blade in Jonathan’s heart.

The same moment Jace launched his attack Jonathan leapt backwards in an easy flip through the air landing directly behind Alec, slicing through Alec’s right shoulder with his blade in a bright spray of blood.

Alec sluggishly turned towards Jonathan clenching his hand into a fist even as the blood dripped off it.

“Parabati rune.” Jonathan slammed a needle into Alec’s neck depressing the syringe. “Activate it.”

There was no choice.

_There is never a choice when it comes to Alec._

Even in his confusion Jace sent as much of his angelic energy into that single rune on his body punching it through the bond towards Alec, leaping the last few feet towards Jonathan to rip him off his parabati.

Jonathan leapt smoothly away ripping the blade from Alec’s shoulder, landing several feet from the pair now, watching both guardedly.

_Damnit!  Fight me!_

“Need me to goad you into a fight?  Come try me once more and I’ll prove to you I’m better than you, again.”  Jace taunted the red haired ex-demon.

Bastard hurt Alec and Jace was going to make him pay in blood.

Surprisingly Jonathan did not react in anger and violence as he had in his demon form.  Instead Jonathan drew runes across his arms and from this distance the only one Jace could make out was endurance.

“Jace…”

The hoarse choked voice had Jace spinning to face Alec.  Brown met his heterochromia eyes.

Alec took a stuttering breath, blood trickling from his mouth, it was pouring down his chest from his shoulder. “Let Jonathan go.”

_What!?  He just stabbed you!_

Jace searched Alec’s dark gaze shaking his head back and forth.  The amount of blood pouring from Alec’s wound overrode his desire to hack the ex-demon to pieces, Jace grabbed his stele drawing the Iratze over Alec’s shoulder, peeling the shirt back to draw another sigil along his chest.

_There is too much blood._

Even as Jace applied another rune he could see Alec sagging from rapid blood loss and fatigue.

He shifted to help prop Alec upright.

“Alec!  Jace!”  Izzy’s loud shout echoed through the crater.

Jace could not look up at her, instead stared at the hole in Alec’s shoulder, the wound sat closer to Alec’s ribcage than Jace was comfortable with, slowly closing from the runes.  Thoughts chasing themselves in his mind.

_Bleeding from the mouth, did he nick a lung?  Did the lung collapse?  Why is it taking so long to heal?_

“Eight…”  Alec coughed something vile and tarry up.  “Don’t leave me.”  He tried grasping Jace’s hand the ichor and blood causing his grip to slip, Jace tightened his hold not letting go.  Alec slumped in his arms going mostly limp.

“Finally, something went right.”  Jonathan said from his side of the room, straightening up from his crouch walking over to the dropped needle scooping it up. 

The anger at Jonathan shifted to confusion followed by plain annoyance.

_That’s what you did to me!_

“Fucking hell, Jonathan.  Ask me next time.”  Jace said irritated that the red head had played him so well.

Jonathan inspected Jace like he had spoken a different language.  “Would you have offered your blood willingly to me if I had said it was for your precious parabati?”

_Not a chance in hell._

Jace did not deign Jonathan a response, instead lifting Alec up and meeting Izzy halfway across the room.

“Magnus is being carried up to the surface by the rest of my team.  Magical exhaustion, the rift took too much energy from him to close and hold it off.”  Izzy informed Jace as she drew an Iratze on her brother’s shoulder.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Alec woke in stages.  The feel of cool sheets underneath his exposed back, the scent of sandalwood not antiseptic, the sounds of low voices talking.

_Did we succeed?_

The last thing he remembered was the red power sinking into his soul further as the rift closed.  The soul amulet on his chest still burned softly.

_I’m not dead._

Alec blinked against the hazy red sparks in his vision.

Jonathan should have killed him removing this problem entirely.  Yet the red haired man had not followed the agreement they had arranged if the shadowhunters, Clary, and Magnus all failed.

Alec cracked his eyes open the rest of the way blinking as the familiar surroundings of Magnus’s loft came into focus.  A rich mahogany dresser with a mirror sat across from him.

He rolled himself to a sitting position.  It took more effort than he cared to admit, stitches pulling at his shoulder.

_Magnus didn’t use his magic.  No Iratze used.  Why?_

He refused to look in the mirror not wanting to see how far the black lines had traveled up his arm.

Alec dragged himself out of the room using the wall for support until he made it to the main room.

Jace sat with Izzy on opposite couches both balancing their steles on their noses in some ridiculous challenge.  Remnants of a meal sat on the table between them.

“You know I’m going to win regardless.”  Jace said to Izzy.

“You said best two out of three.  If I win, it’s a draw and we start over.”  Izzy responded not dropping the stele from where it was perched on her nose.

Jace noticed Alec leaning on the wall in the doorway.

“Alec!”  Jace shouted stele dropping from its awkward perch to the floor with a clatter.

Izzy winced before turning to face her brother.

Alec barely had time to respond before the blond had barreled into him wrapping strong arms around him in a tight hug.

Alec brought his arms up around Jace leaning back against the wall further so he would not just slide to the floor in exhaustion like his body wanted to.

“Um…what happened?”  Alec asked.

Jace searched his gaze carefully.  “You don’t remember?”

“Simon and Clary weren’t able to disable the outer runes before some of the groups fell.  It took Magnus and five shadowhunters offering their energy to hold back the power to stop the rift from opening.  When Azazel cast that disabling spell Magnus lost control of it for a moment.  Magnus thinks that is when either you or Jonathan stepped in to help close the rift.”  Izzy informed him.

Alec nudged Jace in a silent request to help him get to the couch.  Together they made it to the couch where he sat down heavily.

“Did the rift get closed?”  Alec asked staring down at his hands.  His recollection remained fuzzy, he could picture the rift but not clear sky, just the pain running rampant through the parabati rune.

“Yeah, it’s closed.”  Jace said from his side pressing his shoulder against Alec’s.

_We won._

The relief that his sacrifice was not for nothing had him leaning back on the couch heavily, a small smile on his lips.

He reached out an arm to lay across the back of the couch allowing for Jace to lean into his body.

Izzy glanced between the two of them, a gentle smile forming.  “I’m going to go get Magnus and the others now that you are awake.  You’ve been out a couple days since the transfusion.” Izzy said as she got up.

Alec glanced at Jace, he knew without even asking who would have given him blood.

Jace gave him a lopsided grin.  “Yeah, you need to stop trying to kill yourself.  I’m about to shackle our wrists together so you can’t.  Actually might request Magnus for a pair of handcuffs.  I’m sure he has some laying around.”  Jace said interlinking their hands, the stark contrast of Jace’s golden skin against the black veins in Alec’s had him pulling back.

_With your rotation of girls I think you have some at home too._

Alec did not speak his thoughts, knowing it would throw them both off again and into dangerous heated territory.

Jace growled annoyed and tugged him back, Alec relented leaning into Jace too exhausted to fight.

“You are incredibly lucky Jace has type O blood.”  Izzy said as she strode back into the room, she glanced over her brother.  “You still look like shit.”

_Thanks, sis._

Alec shot her half a glare, but it softened too quickly to have any impact.

Magnus and Jonathan followed after Izzy.

“Normally I would send you off to the Spiral Labyrinth, preferably in chains and maybe several seals.”  Magnus said as he entered.  “But they managed to convince me you won’t be a threat so long as your parabati bond is never broken.  Maybe chain you two together.” He waved an arm towards Alec.  “Care to explain how you and Jonathan helped close the rift?  Your friend does not care to enlighten me.”

_Not particularly._

Magnus gave a drawn out sigh.  “Alexander, I’m trying to help you.  Talking does make things incredibly easier.”  Magnus said.

Magnus snapped his hand out summoning an orb of blue electric power sending it to hover in front of Alec.

Alec quirked an eyebrow up at Magnus.  “I’m not going to eat it.” He told Magnus flatly.

Jace huffed out a short laugh.

“Is there a point to this?”  Alec snapped suddenly irritated at the situation and the memory of attacking Magnus weeks ago.

Jace rubbed a thumb along the inside of Alec’s arm.

_Of course, the black veins._

“You are healing with the Iratze slowly.  Hence, the stitches.  The blood transfusions have worked the most but Jace cannot give any more without endangering his health.”  Izzy informed him.  “Now that you are awake we can portal you home to the Institute.”

“He’s not insane at least.”  Jonathan chimed in near the window he had wandered over to, keeping several couches and people between himself and Jace.

_Yeah, you were supposed to kill me._

The thought did not sit well, curdling his empty stomach.  He had prepared himself mentally to die during that mission if the other three backup plans did not work.  By all rights, Jonathan should have followed through on his promise.

Alec looked his sister in her dark brown eyes ready to tell her he was fine.  Exhaustion in every limb and would need to figure out a way to stem the current in his arm again, but fine.

_Just fine._

“Izzy, I’m going to be alright.  You were correct weeks ago when you said it’s similar to yin-fen.  You controlled yourself until the need faded.  I can-“ Alec began explaining to Izzy.

“Bullshit.”  Jace snapped interrupting him.

“Jace…”  Alec said warningly.

“No.  You never had it under control.  Magnus should shackle us together then you can’t get into trouble.”  Jace said it like it was the most logical plan.

Because that was an image Alec wanted to keep in his head, not advertised to the entire Institute.  The things people would assume from that.

Magnus just raised his eyebrows at the statement with a small smile flickering across his face.

“No one is shackling me to anyone.”  Alec indignantly stated, refusing to look at Jace because he could feel the heat radiating off his body like it would leave a permanent imprint on him now.

“Could stick bells on him like you did to me.  Bet that won’t leave as much of a lasting impression on the meetings he’ll hold as partial head of the Institute.”  Jonathan drawled from his spot a small smirk forming at his mouth.

Alec took a breath before turning to face Jonathan.

“Care to explain?”  Alec said flatly knowing full well Johnathan understood what he was actually asking him and it had nothing to do with bells and shackles.

Jonathan shrugged.  “You are delightfully interesting to keep around.  Besides I wanted to keep my head attached when Jace destroyed Azazel.  Call it self-preservation.” He said casually.

Alec felt as Jace wrapped his hand around his wrist followed by something cold.

He twisted his arm free of Jace’s grasp but not before Jace had succeed in his mission of securing a metal handcuff to his wrist which lead to one on Jace’s wrist.

Shock struck him a moment before disbelief that Jace actually followed through on the stupid inane idea.

“You’re joking.”  Alec hissed, whipping back to search Jace’s face.

Jace appeared mildly apprehensive about the idea but he could see the stubborn set in his jaw that said Alec was not getting out of this.

“Just until we release the rest of it.”  Jace stated simply as if the idea of being shackled to Alec had zero effect on him.

_Release it._

Alec felt his face heating up and he dropped his gaze to the floor so the others in the room would not notice his blush.  Which just brought his attention to the silver handcuff.

He was starting to feel light headed from the exhaustion and blood pounding through his body.   “Can we go home before the gets any more mortifying?  Jace take this off, I’m not going anywhere.”  Alec asked. 

Izzy said something about packing up her stuff but he could hear the laughter in her voice.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“I can’t believe you.  And I can’t believe you are supporting this stupid idea.”  Alec told Jace and Izzy, respectively.

They had managed to get from Magnus’s loft home without incident and into Jace’s room without anyone noticing the stupid shackle.

He could feel anxiety, irritation, and something else coming through the bond from Jace’s end and it was serving nothing to help his current mood as it warred between feeling hotly aroused by the idea and a desire to get as far from Jace as possible.

Izzy set the chess set on Jace’s bed she had brought from Alec’s room.

“Alec, you know we love you.  But, you have been a bit of a loose cannon since Edom.  Jace is right, we need to ensure you stay put for a few days.”  Izzy said gently.  “Not sure how you managed to sneak out before either.”  She muttered.

Jace tugged on his arm leading him towards the bed.  Alec went only because his breath was locked in his lungs, a swooping fear starting to crawl through his body slowly.

“Alec, breath.  It’s not the end of the world.  Besides you told me not to leave you.  I intend to hold you to that order.”  Jace informed him starting to set up the chess set.

His breath remained frozen in his lungs, there went any chance to sneak out if Jace held to that, which based on the desperate coil of metal wrapped around his wrist, definitely was not happening.

_Could just rip his clothes off like you want to._

The dark voice in his head he had insistently ignored.  Ok, mostly, not at all ignored, only drawing the line when Jace put one down.

_Which just makes me want him more._

Even with everything they had already done Alec still could not admit that Jace might have changing feelings towards him.  It was too desperate to consider, to do so would make him want more than Jace had allowed already.

_Does not change the fact you already do want more._

Alec tugged on the shackle.  “Just get this off me.  You proved your point.  Besides I intend to sleep the next day away.” He told Jace.

_Sleep longer if I can._

He could sense Jace and Izzy exchanging glances.

He did not care anymore what they thought.  Between Edom and the chrysalis and all the demons he was certain there was no chance to recover from the hooks he could feel that power tearing into his body.  The soul amulet burning against his chest along with the burn from the parabati rune.

He curled up on the bed ignoring the chess set.

“Alec, I’m taking a blood sample.  It’s going to be alright.”  Izzy said nearing him on the bed.

Exhaustion was starting to pull him back under towards blissful darkness, away from the renewed need and craving.

He felt the tiny prick of the needle going into his arm, turned his head away into the pillow as unexpected tears began to fill his eyes.

“You sure about staying here the whole night?”  Izzy questioned Jace.

Jace cleared his throat once.  “Yeah, I’m sure.  Tell Maryse to take me off duty for another week.”  The blonde said.

“I’ll give you a couple days.  You can take it up with her about more.”  Izzy responded.

Alec heard her leave before darkness claimed him.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace dragged Alec to the piano room the next day.  Sunlight streaming in through the windows brightly shining yellow beams across the floor.

He had unshackled Alec from himself for showers and morning rituals and had decided to keep it off so long as Alec remained within the same room as himself.  An annoyingly difficult choice since all he wanted to do was masturbate and gain some relief from sleeping next to Alec all night.

“Sit somewhere, do some meditating.  I’m practicing.”  Jace suggested to Alec.

Jace watched Alec slide down one of the walls to sit in one of the sunlight beams pulling his leather jacket off to reveal his arm to the sun’s power before tilting his head back against the wall eyes closed.

_Even after all that sleep he still looks exhausted._

Jace hit a couple of the keys on the piano.  Letting the emotions from it wash through him first before focusing on playing Chopin before shifting to a newer song by Ji Pyeong Kwon.  He had learned the song due to Simon’s obsession with anime and it reminded him of Alec.

“You know for meditation music that song is depressing.”  Alec mentioned after Jace had completed the song but there was something broken in his voice as if he had been crying.

“I told you, I will not live if you die.  And you went into that mission with a death wish.”  Jace replied not turning to look at Alec, allowing him time to compose himself.

He heard Alec huff out a derisive laugh at himself.  “Yeah, Jonathan did not even follow through with that.  And it still hurts.  Jace, I don’t think I was supposed to come back from Edom or the chrysalis or the mission the other day.  I can feel this power eating away at me.”

Jace turned around on the piano bench to face his dark haired parabati raking his eyes over his form sitting in the sunlight.

He dismissed the thought he really wanted to ask Alec.

“Does the sun help?”  Jace asked instead.

Alec gave a hum of acknowledgement, twisting his arm in the sunlight to expose another side to it.  “It doesn’t take it away, just soothing.”

Jace crossed the room grabbing his stele from his back pocket before kneeling in front of Alec.  Sliding his hand down Alec’s arm before turning his hand up to draw the angelic symbol onto his wrist, moving a few inches higher along the dark veins and redrawing another.

“This helping?”  Jace questioned softly.

Alec responded with a soft hum, head lolling to the side.

“Jonathan really did want to help you in his own way didn’t he?”  Jace asked.

“Hm.  Yeah, remaking him has changed his philosophy on life.  Life is a struggle.  Rebuild his life with Clary.  Kill as many demons as he can in revenge.”  Alec blinked his dark eyes open to search Jace’s face.  “Why do you want to know?”

_Because you trust him with your life._

“You are friends with him and as your parabati I want to get to know him.  What is your philosophy on life now?”  Jace pressed Alec running his hand along Alec’s arm lightly.

Alec closed his eyes.  “Control it.  Rebuild my soul in some functional capacity that doesn’t feel like I have it shredded.”  Alec huffed out a laugh.  “I hate dichotomy you know, the struggle of everything around us fighting the opposite just to scrape out an existence that won’t mean a thing.”

_Well, some of that was fucking confusing but at least he’s talking._

Jace shifted so he could sit down next to Alec pressing his shoulder against Alec.

“You know we’re kind of a dichotomy.  Two souls always needing the other but ultimately we are one soul.”  Jace said.

Alec tilted his head shooting Jace a strange confused look.  “Jace, that’s the opposite of dichotomy then.”  Alec informed him.

“Awesome.  I’ve already upended one of your philosophies and it’s not even noon yet.  Come on let’s go train Simon and Clary and then we can go work on boring paperwork in your office.”  Jace stood up holding out a hand to Alec, which he grasped and hauled him to his feet.

_Fuck, they were to close._

Jace swallowed eyes dropping to Alec’s lips, he refused to move.

Not after their argument before the battle which had ended with him desperately tearing at Alec before they were interrupted.

“Jace…”  Alec whispered bringing his hand up to grip the back of Jace’s neck hand tightening but not moving Jace away or forward.

Jace felt himself sway forward the same moment Alec tilted his head down.

They clashed in heat, fire igniting in Jace’s blood at the feel of Alec pressed to him.

He shoved Alec hard against the wall behind him, crowding into his body trying to burn his presence into Alec’s mouth with his tongue.  Jace pushed Alec’s arm above his head holding him still against the wall, the sound Alec let out from that had Jace rolling his hips into him on a grind.

Jace mentally noted that restraining Alec gave such a response and fully intended to use it later.

Alec shifted from Jace’s mouth to bite down Jace’s neck locating a spot and sucking hard.

“Fuck, Alec.”  Jace hissed out, head falling back.

_Just keep doing that.  Let me inside you again until I force the darkness out and only I remain._

Jace brought his head up enough to drag Alec into another heated kiss, quickly gaining ferocity as their hips moved against each other sending blistering friction through Jace’s body.

Alec slid his hand around Jace’s throat pushing him back away, the grip loose but Jace could feel Alec’s fingers flexing and relaxing against his skin.

“I’m not going to stop until I tear you up.” Alec panted out harshly.

The blatant warning did nothing to slow the burning blood in Jace’s body if anything it made the burn go higher.

_Oh hell, I want that._

The realization pulled him up short panting into Alec’s mouth, nudging their mouths together slower this time.

Jace pushed his throat into Alec’s hand feeling Alec’s arm give way rather than risk hurting him.

An idea forming in his mind.

“You know sparring is going to be painful now.”  Jace offered in an attempt to slow them down.

Alec pressed his face into Jace’s neck, mouthing against exposed skin lazily.  “Sparring is supposed to be painful.  You don’t learn without some painful lesson.”  Alec replied voice still deep and husky distracting Jace from attempting to back off long enough to think clearly.

_Yeah, painful lesson received.  Loud and clear, don’t start something you won’t finish._

Jace ran his hand up Alec’s arm tracing the lines there until they disappeared under his shirt, trailing his hand back down until he gripped Alec’s wrist.

_He doesn’t suspect a thing._

Jace could not keep the amused twitch of his lips off his face, saw caution enter Alec’s brown eyes a moment before Jace pushed his leg between Alec’s, hooked his knee around Alec’s and tugged sharply.  Jace twisted as they toppled to the ground in a heap ensuring he came up on top.

Alec glared up at him.

“Did we learn a painful lesson?”  Jace questioned smugly leaning forward to place his hands on either side of Alec’s head.

Alec bucked underneath him.  “Ungh.  Fuck you.”


	6. Dark Stained Soul Ch 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter six is up. This one was difficult to write. Comments and such appreciated.

**Dark Stained Soul**

**Ch 6**

By: Evey

 

The sharp sound of Clary and Simon’s weapons against his own helped drown out his raging heartbeat, clearing his mind from the incessant ache.

He had given Simon permission to use his vampire speed today, which the geeky vampire had used gleefully.

The constant attacks allowed Jace to disengage his mind from Alec and focus on training the two before him.

Alec had done some work on his tablet for the Institute before wandering over to the punching bag, jabbing into it as if he could incinerate the bag if he could punch it hard enough.

Clary’s sword sliced by his head as he leaned back out of range of the sharp edge, close enough that Jace could feel the light breeze over his skin.

“Almost had you.”  Clary grinned.

Jace felt a cocky smile form, tapped the inside of her thigh with the blade he had placed there deflecting an attack from Simon with a hard clack of metal against wood behind him with his free arm.

“You know, why don’t we get Alec on our side?”  Simon asked attempting to hit Jace with the wooden practice batons several times.  The wood sent rippling reverberations up Jace’s arms.  When Jace deflected all of the attacks Simon turned to Alec.  “Hey, Alec.  Come join us and kick Jace’s ass.” Simon called.

Alec glanced over from the punching bag, eyes locking on Jace.

Jace found himself needing to swallow.

“You guys want help giving him a lesson?  I thought he was supposed to be teaching you.”  Alec commented unwrapping the bindings around his wrists, underlying heat wrapped around Jace from that voice.

“Well, mostly we just want you to distract him enough so we can land a hit.  Call it teamwork training.”  Simon clarified spinning his wooden practice batons around in his hands.

_Oh, I’ll be plenty distracted._

Alec smiled at him.

The parabati rune hummed softly, sensing their souls moving closer.

_Yeah, I’m so dead._

Jace just wanted the other two gone so he could pin Alec to the ground and watch that smile directed at him.

Alec picked up two practice swords resting one over his back as he prowled towards Jace.

“Ready for a painful lesson?”  Alec smirked at him, dropping one of the blades to point towards the floor, the other remained casually across his back.

Jace felt his mouth go dry, heartbeat picking up pace.

The first attack Jace only deflected because of training reflex.  The second attack he bent his knees duking before lifting his blade in an overhead attack which Alec deflected.  The third he sensed movement in his peripheral vision, Jace reversed the grip on the sword using the pommel to wind Simon in the diaphragm when the vampire came at him pushing Jace to his knees with the force of the blow.

Clary attacked him when he was on his knees and he threw a hand behind to support himself on the floor as he deflected her blow.

A foot collided with his chest sending him sprawling backwards and Alec was on top of him, hot muscular body pressing him down, just a few inches from where Jace wanted him.

“Tap out.”  Alec ordered a laughing smile crossing his face.

“Not a chance in hell.” Jace smirked back, dropping his weapons before and wrapping his legs around Alec curling up to wrap around Alec’s neck.

Jace heard the harsh inhale a moment before his parabati rune heated with arousal.  He took full advantage of Alec’s distraction and reversed their positions using the intended grapple to pin Alec down.

“Tap out.”  Jace challenged back locking them in place so Alec could not move even if he tried.  Legs wrapped around Alec’s neck and using his body weight to hold Alec down.

Jace could see Clary and Simon hovering unsure how to engage without actually hurting them now that they were grappling on the floor, arms locked with Alec’s arms removing the ability to throw Jace off him.

Alec winced slightly as more pressure was applied to the injured shoulder.

“Nice to see you two still fight like idiots.”  Izzy said as she strode into the room.  “Even with a busted shoulder.  Simon stay for a second.  Jace, get up I need to talk to you.  Alec, Clary mom wants you in her office.”

Jace had the irrational urge to clip the handcuff back on Alec so he could not escape his sight.

_It is one meeting and you can drag Izzy along halfway there._

Jace had not moved from his spot pinning Alec to the ground, heat radiating up through his body from Alec trapped underneath.

“Sure, once Alec taps out.”  Jace called to her not looking away from Alec.

Alec’s jaw tightened, an irritated growl escaping as he struggled for a moment sending waves of heat through Jace, before Alec dropped his head back on the floor, rolling his eyes in defeat and tapping his hand against Jace’s thigh where Jace had it locked tightly.

“Well, we’re terrible.  Three against one and he still beats us.  He’s never going to let me use real weapons.”  Simon mourned sounding annoyed at the loss.

Jace released Alec standing up so he towered over his parabati, stepping over to Izzy as Alec rolled to his feet.

Jace scanned Alec’s body only tearing his gaze away when Clary spoke.

“Yeah, Alec as his parabati I figured you would know how to keep him busy for us.”  Clary said an odd lilt to her voice that Jace recognized as jealousy.

_Thank the Angel for training reflexes._

Alec gave a grunt that neither confirmed nor denied the failure, rolling his shoulder against the stitches.

Jace glanced over at the red head.  Her green eyes were studying him, drifting towards Alec and back to Jace with something akin to hurt in her eyes.

“Not everyone can be as good as me.  Besides, he was the only one to actually get under my guard and hit me.”  Jace threw his best cocky voice towards her redirecting her attention away from whatever she had just picked up on.

“Come on, Fray.  Maryse is waiting.”  Alec called over his shoulder towards Clary as he threw his leather jacket on followed by the dark glove concealing the dark lines across his arm.

“I don’t think in all the time I’ve known you I’ve seen you two practice together.  Is it always like that?”  Clary bluntly asked Jace, blatantly ignoring Alec.

_Rife with sexual tension?  No, that is a new development._

Alec left not bothering to wait for Clary as Jace felt his face start to heat uncharacteristically.

Izzy saved him.

“They get much worse.  Especially, when they get into sync with the parabati battle bond.”  Izzy casually stated, tapping her fingers against her arm impatiently.  “Now move your ass.  Alec won’t treat you like a queen like Jace did.”

Once Clary had left, Izzy rounded on Jace and Simon hands on her hips.

_Shit, she wants something._

“We are throwing a birthday party for Clary.  Alec too, since his is the following month.  Sort of a joint thing.”  Izzy crossed her arms in the doorway, a sentry to her cause.  “I figured it would be something fun for her before Jonathan is sent back to the Silent City.”

Simon appeared totally on board with the idea.  A massive grin stretching across his face, head cocked to the side as he started thinking up ideas.

“Clary would love that.  She would want something either related to art or new weapons.  We need to make sure Jonathan is still here for it.  No bells though or blue.”  Simon rambled eagerly.

“Is that what Maryse wanted them for?  Jonathan’s dismissal?”  Jace asked placing the practice weapons back on their respective racks.

Izzy shrugged unsure.  “Probably, it would make sense now that the reason he was sent to the Institute has been dealt with.”  Izzy said.  “Alec told me he is working on lengthening Jonathan’s stay but considering all his past actions it’s unlikely.”

_Good riddance._

The strange feeling of both relief and useless regret crawled through him.

So they both shared in mass genocide.  Jace had committed it on accident when he picked up the soul sword killing the Downworlders, Jonathan had performed his murders intentionally.

Jace pushed the regret away, Jonathan did not deserve it.  The fact he kept dropping his guard around an ex-demon proved just how dangerous Jonathan truly was and Jace refused to watch the man destroy him again.

“You know Alec is going to hate a party thrown for him?”  Jace told Izzy heading out the door to follow Alec and Clary.  Izzy fell into step with him, Simon followed as well.

Izzy wrapped her arms around both of them, tugging them both close to herself.  “Which is why we aren’t telling him.  He’s been withdrawn and cranky enough since Edom and I intend to break him out of that shell he’s encased himself in again.”  Izzy declared.

_Good luck with that.  I still have whiplash from all my attempts and I feel like I barely make a dent most days.  Even with every line we have crossed and blurred as parabati._

“Could get him a stripper.”  Suggested Simon with a grin.

Jace flatly glared at him.  The thought of Alec with anyone else half naked, Jace might commit murder if that happened.

Izzy just rolled her eyes.

“Simon, this is Alec we are talking about.  He barely managed to figure out how to date Magnus.”  Izzy cast a glance towards Jace.

Simon shrugged easily, playful grin still in place.  “He got better at it.”  Simon’s grin fell into a frown.  “Well, you know, until he just seemed to forget about Magnus.  We aren’t inviting Magnus or are we?  Because that might get awkward.  Does Alec have amnesia?”

Simon’s gaze snapped to Jace’s his eyes wide.

Jace realized he actually did not know the answer to that.  The parabati bond had been driving him towards Alec and when they did connect, well Magnus and Alec’s past engagement never entered his mind, instead all Jace had ended up doing was digging himself into a hole filled with feelings and touches he never wanted to crawl out of.

_What was I thinking?_

That was the problem.  He had not thought, just dove headfirst into the chaos of their parabati bond, each and every time.  And each and every time he left more of himself locked with Alec.

“No, Alec does not have amnesia.  The Silent Brother, Brother Zachariah, checked for that before releasing him into the Institute.”  Izzy informed Simon.

_Thank the Angel._

They were nearing the Head Institutes office that Jace had been forcing the others to walk towards if they wanted to continue the conversation.

“So where is this party going to be held?”  Jace asked, curious where Izzy could find something that would match Clary’s spitfire and Alec’s reserved personalities.

“I’ve tossed ideas around.  Pandemonium, art institute, a spa,” Jace made a face at “spa”, Izzy continued on cheerily.  “one of those gun ranges the mundanes use, I don’t know yet.”

Jace picked up the sounds of shouting coming from the Head Institutes office.

_Clary probably._

Jace pushed the door open without knocking.

“You can’t just kill him!”  Clary shouted at Maryse as the door swung open.

Maryse turned her stern gaze towards Jace, Izzy, and Simon hovered awkwardly in the doorway.  She gave a sharp shake to her head for them to leave.

Jace strolled into the room sitting down on the couch off to the side, Alec stood in parade rest and Clary had her hands on the rich wooden desk as if she intended to leap over it at Maryse.  He ignored the warning glare he received from Maryse for disobeying.

“Jonathan killed hundreds.  I told you this before, he would go to the Silent City for rehabilitation and then be given his punishment.”  Maryse’s voice held an iron edge to it.

Alec’s face remained granite-like.  “Jonathan has proved incredibly useful towards understanding how to deal with demons as well as providing new ways to heal poisons from wounds our soldiers receive.  Our last mission would not have succeeded if not for him.  Our world would not be here.  Killing him would remove a bank of knowledge the Shadowhunter community as a whole requires.”

Maryse gave her son a brittle smile.  “The Clave wants him back for experimental purposes to understand how he was changed.”

“There is nothing in his blood for them to find.  If they could find it, they would have found it during his first trip to the Silent City.” Alec said tightly, body unmoving.

“I have no control over that.  They think he is hiding something.”  Maryse rubbed at her forehead briefly before dropping her arm back to the desk.

“He’s not!” cried Clary in indignation, red hair flying as she shook her head.

“Then have the Clave assign him to me.  I took down Edom.  They’ll respect that, use it as leverage that I control Jonathan.”  Alec calmly requested, Jace could hear the tension underneath the tone.

Jace folded his arms across his chest to appear more relaxed and assured than he currently felt towards this conversation.

Maryse paused studying Alec, she pulled a piece of parchment towards herself.  Her voice dropped to a more motherly tone.  “Alec, why do you insist on keeping him around after everything he did to Jace and Clary, to our world?  I thought you of all people would want him gone.” 

Alec took a breath, Jace could see him steeling himself against a decision.

“Everyone out.  Jace stay.”  Alec ordered.

_Shit.  Don’t say it._

Jace was already on his feet, gripping Alec’s arm.  “Alec, you can’t.” Jace hissed quietly.

“Can’t what?”  Maryse questioned sharply, eyes burning into the pair.

Izzy shoved Simon out the door with a loud click, but Clary remained stubbornly where she stood.

Alec took a breath, meeting Maryse’s gaze.  “Jonathan is a normal shadowhunter because I remade him from scratch using the energy the souls of Edom imparted me when I broke the seals.  The Clave won’t find anything in him.  All you will do is torture someone whose soul is not infected anymore and it will not give you the answers to those seals in Edom.” Alec stated devoid of emotion.

Maryse paled turning a putrice color so rapidly that Jace thought she might be sick any moment.

Clary gaped at Alec all her self-righteous energy for Jonathan gone with the statement.

Jace dropped his hand away from Alec fighting an inane desire to drag him bodily from this conversation because nothing good could come of this.

“No wonder he’s so loyal to you.”  Clary whispered into the silence.

Jace would disagree with Jonathan’s definition of what constituted loyalty, but right now he was staring at Alec in disbelief that he had actually given Maryse that portion of truth.

“Based on Jace’s traumatized expression I assume this little secret is now held only between the four people in this room.”  Maryse managed to sound sternly half amused rather than livid but then her voice hardened.  “Which circles back to the question you always dodge, Alec.”

“You taught me to survive.  I did.” Alec said rigidly hands clenched behind his back staring Maryse down.

Maryse’s lips thinned into a line.  “He held the soul sword when he said you died.  Forgive a mother for not being able to let that statement go.”

Alec leaned forward into her space.  “And yet here I am.  Alive.  Drop. It.”

“As your Head of this Institute I’m ordering you to disclose it.”  Maryse replied sternly.

Alec stood up to his full height staring down at his mother.  “No.  You ensure Jonathan stays here at this Institute, out of the Clave’s grasp and I will give you the answers you want.”

Jace turned his head to stare at Alec, he could not possibly be thinking of revealing what he thought he intended to disclose.

He could feel Maryse studying himself, Alec, and Clary before her.  Clary still appeared to be in shock staring at Alec like she had never seen him before.

“You focus on removing that stain on your arm.  I will have a group of Clave representatives here to examine this Institute, Jonathan, and yourself.  You will be dealing with them.  If there is knowledge you or Jonathan are holding back you best inform me now.”  Maryse said writing something down on the paperwork before her.

Alec gave her a short smile.

“Then we have an agreement.”  Alec replied.

Maryse picked up her stamp and with a thud sealed the approval of Clave representatives into their Institute.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_Well, this is awkward._

Jace had thought his double date with Clary, Simon, and Maia had gone terribly.  This lunch was ten times worse and it was just three of them.

_Yeah, you slept with both of them and one of them is supposed to be forbidden.  And the other thinks you are working on yourself and single._

Technically he and Alec were not dating, that was a mild term to what had been going on.  And slept with Alec was probably putting it gently since he was certain their souls had been involved in a couple of those passionate moments.

Jace snuck a glance towards Alec seated in the dingy red restaurant booth, noting the creases of tension and exhaustion still etched on his face since that morning.

Clary had already given her grateful speech to Alec, one Jace witnessed him smoothly accept treating it like a delegation rather than something heartfelt.  Clary had taken the tension from Alec as him being himself and had brushed it off telling Jace she had a gift for him but needed to draw it first.

Now Clary sat across from himself and Alec drawing in her sketchpad.  Alec sipped at some juice pushing away his half eaten plate of food.

Jace took another bite of his food.

_At least the food here is good._

She had insisted on bringing them out to eat after the discussion in Maryse’s office, saying she felt an apology was due to Alec for all her insubordination and questioning his orders when he had given so much for her brother.  The place she had dragged them was clearly mundane and the waitress had gaped openly at their runes, thinking them tattoos, for a moment before she regained her senses enough to treat them like normal customers.

“Here.”  Clary tore out the sheet she had been working on handing it over to Jace.

Jace took it reflexively spinning the page around before halting, heterochromia gaze shooting up to Clary’s green in shock.

“You asked for one right before we got Alec and Jonathan back.”  Clary put her writing pad, pencils and charcoal back into her backpack, rifling around for something else.

Jace stared back down at the page, a still of Alec encapsulated in granite and charcoal.  It was not any epic like she had drawn Jace as, but of Alec sitting on the floor of the training room looking towards something off the page and laughing.

Jace could not tell when Clary had even seen Alec like this and relaxed.

Alec glanced at the page before giving Jace a strangely gentle look.  “You asked her to draw me?”

Vulnerability crashed through him, the awareness that Alec knew of the request made Jace hunch over the picture shielding it from Alec’s view.

“You were not there and I had no idea if you were even alive then.” Jace murmured, still staring at the drawing of happiness.

Clary drew out a manila folder, handing it to Jace which he took and placed the drawing inside to keep it from creasing until he got back to the Institute.

“What was it like rebuilding Jonathan?” Clary blurted the question into the calm that had settled after the drawn gift.

Jace slid the folder to the side out of Alec’s reach, leaning back to gauge Alec’s reaction to the question.

Alec had stiffened in his seat, hand coming up to press into his arm harshly through the leather jacket, digging with blunt nails.

_Damn, you are going to make me chase you down again.  That’s supposed to be your job, I’m getting exhausted._

Jace reached out enclosing his hand over Alec’s wrist.

Alec met Jace’s gaze before turning to Clary giving her a tight smile.  “Jonathan was easier to piece together than it’s been for me to rein your flying solo missions in.”

The deflected part answer left Clary appearing torn between a real smile and wanting to push for the true answer. 

Alec clenched his fist against the table.  “We’re done here.  We all have duties to return to today.  The cleanup across the city and I need to figure out what I’m going to inform those Clave dignitaries.”  Alec turned in his seat expecting Jace to move out of the booth.

Jace refused to move.

“Jace, move.” Alec said.

Jace leaned back in the booth keeping his grip on Alec blocking him in.

“I want to know too.  You don’t really talk about it.” Jace pushed.

Alec gripped Jace’s hand wrapped around his wrist, Jace squeezed back harder before loosening his grip and rubbing a soothing circle along Alec’s wrist.

“There’s nothing to talk about, I’ve told you enough.”  Alec snapped suddenly angry, yanking his wrist from Jace’s grip.

_Yeah abundantly, that I still don’t understand the whole picture enough to push that power out of you for good._

“Alec, we’re all here for you.  You were there for me and Jace when everything went to shit.  Nothing bad is even happening right now.  I just want to know more about my brother.”  Clary gently said from her side of the table, green eyes jumping from Alec to Jace.

Alec collapsed back against the booth, rubbing the back of his neck then his hand over his face before dropping his hand to his side staring at the table.

Silence beat through them for a time.

“The souls ripped apart his body, left his soul open to be torn to shreds by Edom’s power.  I couldn’t…I couldn’t just watch another soul die.  Not when he did not have a choice for being that way.  Not when the rest of them felt so much fear and hate before skyrocketing towards Heaven.  Jonathan could not follow, the demonic essence inside his blood would not let him.  He gave me enough of a boost to last through the breaking of the seals and his torture matched the souls.  I could not let him die.”  Alec spoke mostly to the table, but had not removed his wrist from Jace’s grasp.

_So you sacrificed yourself to make it right, when Jonathan should have been born a regular Shadowhunter._

A light tremble ran through Alec’s arm, Jace squeezed Alec’s wrist gently to continue.

Silence.

_Alright I guess enough pushing with Clary around._

“Come on, let’s head home.  Clary is right.  We don’t have any massive demon attacks happening right now.”  Jace said.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace was absolutely correct about zero demon attacks.  He was wrong about nothing interesting going on.

_Seriously, Seelies._

Well, not exactly Seelies.  Just their ridiculously annoying floral plants that had managed to spill out into central park conveniently on their way home.  Thick vines and bright flowers twisted and crawled across the small bridge they had intended to cross.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere near it.  Last time I got near Seelie plants one tried strangling me to death.”  Jace said spinning his blade around in case one of the twisting vines ventured near.

Alec eyed the plants in front of them warily as they slithered along the ground.

_Can’t burn them without insulting the Seelies._

He typed a message to Izzy to get in touch with Meliorn about loose Seelie plants in Central Park, his vision swam again.

_I should have taken a nap rather than chose to spar with Jace._

Even with the thought Alec could not bring himself to regret it.  For that moment suspended in time he felt normal, the ache in his shoulder from the stitches the only reminder that he was not still in a dream.

_Would like to remain in a dream permanently lately._

“Aww, shit.  They are luring mundanes in.”  Jace commented from his side.

Clary took a couple steps forward peering into the park before spinning on the two of them.  “Can we burn the vines?  Stop the pollen somehow?”

“No, it’s a revel, meant to lure mundanes in to replenish their population.”  Alec informed her, his stomach dropped sensing the incoming argument from the fiery redhead.

Clary did not disappoint.  Well, she did just not in the yelling at Alec way he expected.

Instead she dashed across the street drawing a large rune in the air.

Alec’s eyed widened, his shout forming to late as Clary pushed the massive fire rune she had drawn straight into the mess of pollinating vines meant to lure mundanes into the Seelie realm.

The vines erupted into flames sending a gout of pollen into the air all at once, swathing all of them in a coating of iridescent glowing bits.

Alec wiped some off his arm, drawing an anti-venom rune over the clear patch praying it would take effect since it covered most poisons as well.  He already felt woozy enough to begin with without being intoxicated on Seelie drugs.  He could see Jace glowing brightly beside him, activating all his runes at once with a thought.

“Guys?”  Clary was bent over in front of them having been the closest to the blast.  “I don’t feel good.”

_Neither do I._

Alec took a step towards Clary and felt the world wobble dangerously.

“Maybe if you hadn’t burned up everything filled with pollen at once.”  Growled Alec sinking to his knees and catching himself on his hands.  He was going to be sick he could feel the bile at the back of his throat as the rune tried to expunge the toxic pollen from his system just as quickly as it was being absorbed by his skin.

Jace fared better than either himself or Clary.  Alec felt mild jealousy spike at the extra enhanced angel blood running through Jace’s veins allowing Jace to remain coherent, not incapacitated.

_Helpless.  Not good enough to ward off the Seelie’s charms._

Alec could feel the pull from the Seelie pollen to stand up and sprint into the burning vines before him, a hand on his shoulder stopped him as Jace knelt next to him stele in other hand.

After redrawing the anti-venom rune on Alec, Jace moved to Clary to draw the rune on her.

She passed out about halfway through the rune Jace drew on her skin.

“Just need to get you both to the infirmary for a chemical bath.”  Jace said confidently though there was a tremble to his voice as Alec felt his body being hauled up from the ground, the rest became a blur.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The sound of someone slurping noisily through a straw tugged Jace awake.  Jace jolted upright, wincing instantly at the pain in his neck from whatever horrid angle he had been laying in.

“Aww.  Sleeping beauty is awake.”  Simon’s voice chirped.

Jace winced again, because of course Simon would be the one to witness more of his mortification.  He flinched as every nerve ending screamed at him about the soreness of his skin.

He brought his arm up to inspect the bright pink color that now coated every inch of his body.

“Ow.”  Simon said in mock sympathy waving his blood packet around that served as his meal.

Jace completely agreed.  Upon arriving at the Institute hauling a passed out Clary and a nearly catatonic Alec had not been easy.  The medics had swarmed them, carrying Clary off, marching Alec off, and stripped Jace of all his clothing taking his favorite leather jacket and burning it along with everything else, drawing from Clary included, then they had scrubbed him down, dumped him in a shower that scalded his skin only to repeat the process, five more times.

_More like an agony rune five times._

Then stuck him in a temporary quarantine until the medics were certain he would not go frolicking off to join the revel of love making the Seelies had set up.  In quarantine they had dumped flower scented oil all over his skin until he smelled like a girl before leaving him to marinate in it before finally allowing him to dress in a hospital gown and leave to the next torture chamber.

Sometime during the following treatment to search for any traces of Seelie magic on his skin Izzy and Simon had arrived.  They were not allowed to visit Alec or Clary due to complications.

_Because of course smelling like fucking flowers and covered in oil was not enough a knock to my pride._

His pride did not save him from another two rounds in the acid bath of scalding chemicals and water.  Only to return to Simon and Izzy and around then is when he drew a blank.

_At least I’m dressed._

Jace glanced around the sterile room.  Izzy was pacing back and forth and Simon was seated where Jace presumed his head had just been laying.

_Did I pass out?_

“What happened?  How’s Alec?”  Jace asked instead of that mortifying question.

Simon chuckled.  “You fainted- elegantly.”

Jace clenched his jaw not responding to the clear jibe.

“Alec and Clary are both still in recovery.  No we can’t see them yet I just asked thirty minutes ago.”  Izzy said mid pace phone in hand talking to someone, presumably Maryse, and half paying attention to Jace and Simon.

Jace rubbed at his sore neck.  “Did I hit something?”

“Nah, I caught you.  Very damsel in distress kind of fall.  I didn’t know you were so romantic.  Slept in my arms peacefully and everything.”  Simon could barely suppress the grin forming, sharp vampire canines showing.

_And I thought I had embarrassed myself enough with Simon.  Stupid chair of shame and now this._

“Don’t get used to it.” Jace replied.

_Based on the crick in my neck you are a terrible pillow.  I almost feel sorry for Izzy._

Unless the vampire had maliciously placed Jace awkwardly.  Jace glanced at Simon, no Simon was to kind to do something like that.

Simon handed him a package of cookies and a juice pack.  “Well, don’t just stare at it.  I certainly can’t eat this stuff.” Simon said waving the packages at Jace.

Jace took the offered food and wolfed it down faster than he realized he would.

Izzy snapped her phone shut.

“Well, Clary tried ripping the clothes off one of our male medics and then tried to eat the plant in her recovery room.  Alec broke two of our staff’s arms and put another in the infirmary, broke three doors before they were able to sedate him and finish the decontamination procedure.  Jace, once he’s done they want his parabati in the room at least.  They are hoping it will curb the violence.”

Jace grimaced he could take exactly one guess why Alec was flipping out like that.

_They probably have him strapped down._

Just so long as he does not release that power in his arm Alec should be alright.  Jace had chosen to hold off, wanting Alec to heal his shoulder before doing anything that required a lot less clothing.  More because he wanted to talk to Alec about it beforehand.

_Simon is right, I’m a romantic._

Jace tossed the empty cookie container in the trash, sipping at his juice.  “So why am I not...”  Jace waved an arm in the direction of the door.

“Completely retardedly insane?”  Simon questioned.

_Yeah that._

Izzy answered.  “Special angel blood.  Probably why you were able to haul both their drugged asses home.  Seriously, whose idea was it to jump in an active pit of Seelie vines?”  Izzy stood with her hands on her hips sending Jace a death glare.

“Hey!  It was not my idea to do anything.  Clary had the brilliant idea to use a fire rune and blast everything to pieces.  You have any idea the size of that spore cloud she released.  I’m surprised the three of us are not all locked in the Seelie realm as brood horses right now.”

Simon snorted back a laugh, covering his mouth with one hand.

Izzy raised one eyebrow.  “Wow, I suppose you got lucky and did not have any of your book club waiting on the other side.  Or were Alec and Clary a sufficient distraction from the Seelie realm?” 

“You know I broke up with Clary.  Not much of a distraction now.”  Jace reminded frowning at her annoyed at the Book Club comment, finishing off his juice.

Simon chuckled.  “So it was just Alec swaying you from jumping into the arms of a bunch of Seelies.”  Simon’s eyes were sparkling with laughter.

_Oh fuck._

“You walked right into that one.”  Snickered Izzy waving an arm flippantly as she sat down next to Simon.

Jace glared towards Izzy.  “I have special angel blood.  It made me partially immune to the Seelie charm entering my system.  No one swayed me anywhere.  If anything I swayed Alec and Clary to follow my charming, irresistible self back to the Institute.”

_Didn’t stop yourself from puking three times on the way to the Institute though._

Izzy gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

“Nah, just think about it.  You missed your chance to let them have endless sex until they died.  Your heroic deeds to lure them back here shall be forever noted.”  Simon sniggered behind his blood packet.

“They’ll put a plaque up in the hall under all the rest of my heroic deeds.” Jace snarked back starting to feel a tug on his mouth that threatened to turn into a smile.

“Did you have to do a strip tease for them on the way?” Simon choked out before exploding into laughter at the idea.

“Guys, I did not need the mental imagery of Jace stripping for anyone.”  Izzy cried, she shot Jace a withering look.  “I’ve seen far too much of you to begin with.  I do not need more.”

Simon’s laughter petered out.  “Wait, what?” Simon questioned suddenly suspicious.

_Oh god, all the misconstrued implications in that._

“She caught me having sex.”  Jace blurted out quickly before Izzy could dig him a deeper hole.

Simon glanced between the two of them a moment.  “I sense a story here.”

Izzy glanced at Jace seeking permission to drop that loaded bomb.

Jace tossed his finished juice in the trash from where he sat, watched it sail across the room to land perfectly.  “No story.  Personally I think I’m just more a lothario than Magnus is.”

_Bomb disabled._

Izzy gave a small huff.

“Yeah, you slept with everyone but me on that double date.”  Simon griped out before turning an impossibly bright shade of red.  “Kill me now.”  He smacked his face into his hands.

Izzy actually giggled at that, a strange sound to Jace’s ears.  Izzy rarely giggled.  Laughed and chuckled certainly but not a giggle.

One of the medics came into the room.

The medic glanced over the file in front of him once.  “Isabelle, you said you wanted to be informed as soon as Clary was stable enough for a visitor.  She can have visitors but I would prefer if she did not leave the infirmary for another two hours, then she can be taken to her room to sleep the rest off.  Jace come with me, we require your parabati bond to keep Alexander under control.  He reacted the most to the Seelie pollen and with all the cortisol and adrenaline in his system I am surprised he has not had a heart attack.  I just need you to sit in the room, grab a book or something.  He is currently sedated.”  The medic calmly explained to the group.

Jace headed out as soon as the medic informed him what room Alec was in, Izzy following him.  Simon left towards Clary’s room.

Seeing Alec propped up and locked to the bed with numerous padded cuffs did nothing to dissuade the nervousness coiling in Jace’s stomach as he approached.

_Just don’t be a wild animal again._

Alec’s gaze searched out Jace as he sat down on the bed, hearing the creak of the mattress.

_Sedated huh._

Jace felt his breath catch in this throat from that dark gaze.  Alec rarely dropped his guard to reveal that much emotion except when they were alone together and even then that had become rare.  He felt the parabati rune give a sharp painful twist.

“Here I am.”  Jace replied to the feeling in the rune touching their heads together.

“You smell like flowers.”  Alec whispered, leaning into the touch.  “Kiss me.” 

Izzy choked on a laugh having sat down on the other side of the bed in a chair.  “He is really high.”

Jace did not respond to the comment, loosening the strap around Alec’s waist and chest to lift up his shirt exposing the parabati rune.

Placing his hand over it, Jace met Alec’s eyes.  “Do not puke on me.  Otherwise you can sit in those straps until the pollen wears off.” Jace warned Alec before pushing angelic energy through the bond in an attempt to remove the Seelie drug from his system faster.

Alec arched up as much as the straps would allow, it was not the sound of a retch that escaped him but a low groan.

_Holy fuck._

That sound was addicting.  Sending curls of heat through Jace’s body just from the resonance.

“I’m out.” Izzy stood quickly.  “Make sure he doesn’t choke.  Just be aware there are monitors in here so don’t do anything stupid.”  Izzy said swiftly exiting the room nearly at a run.

Jace kept his hand on the parabati rune listening to the ragged breathing, waiting patiently for Alec to calm down.  A patience he never knew he possessed as the minutes ticked by.

“Jace…”  Alec sounded beyond exhausted.

Jace did not wait for the rest of the sentence sending another pulse of angelic power through the rune.

That got the desired result.  Alec pitched forward gagging.

Jace felt a small guilty relief at the sound even though his own stomach clenched at the noise.

When the shudders had subsided, Alec lifted his head up to glare at Jace.  “I hate you.”

Jace shrugged, hitting the call button for the nurse.  “Got more of it out of your system.”  He reached out starting to unbuckle the rest of Alec’s restraints and removing the soiled sheet off him.

The nurses and medics were not thrilled to discover Alec unbound from all his restraints when they entered.  Jace received an earful about following procedures and that Alec could have hurt himself or others if he had returned to the Seelie portal.  When Jace tried using his usual smolder charm on the female nurses he heard Alec choke back a laugh.

Once paperwork was complete Alec was released into Jace’s care with strict guidelines to not leave the Institute, keep him hydrated, and rest.  The lead medic in charge of Alec could not seem to stress that point enough, adding that hallucinations were possible due to Alec’s increased stress hormones. 

“Just make certain he rests.  Otherwise, I’ll send you to deal with a pissed off Maryse.”  The medic warned Jace as he hauled Alec out of there.

A text from Izzy said she would be taking care of Clary as the medics did not trust her with a male vampire for the night.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Alec was still clearly woozy once Jace had dragged him back to his room, the bulk of the Seelie drug gone but the effects were still being felt.

“You do know you can’t just sit in the shower all night, right?  Figured the number of showers they gave us in the infirmary was plenty.”  Jace informed Alec staring at the dark curtain his parabati was behind in the shower.

Alec remained silent, standing under the spray of water.

“I’m not going to stand out here for hours.  I’ll drag you out of there if I have to.”  Jace continued.

Alec must have turned the water to a warmer temperature because Jace could make out the steam billowing from the top.

“Just get out for fifteen minutes.  I promise I won’t die.”  Alec growled through the curtain.

_We’ve been here before._

Jace hopped up on the counter, letting his legs hit the cabinet below with a thunk.  “Not leaving.” Jace replied back belligerently.

_Drugged up on Seelie magic and unstable and I am supposed to make sure you rest._

“Jace, I’ve been hopped up on a Seelie narcotic the past couple hours.  One designed to induce sexual arousal.  Now get out.”

_Oh, fuck._

The mental image that conjured up.

Silence on the other side of the curtain for a moment as that message sank into Jace’s brain.

“Right.  I’ll just…yeah…no.”  Jace’s voice sounded ridiculously low and hoarse even to himself.

_Because that was a helpful statement._

“Jace…”

Jace stared at that curtain unsure if Alec had already started or not based on that tone.

Kicked his feet into the counter cabinet dropping himself to the floor and left the bathroom because there was no way he was going to remain functional if he listened to that.

Instead he flopped down on the bed and sent a few messages to Izzy to see how Clary was faring.

The message from Izzy that came back said: “She introduced me to mundane porn websites, like I didn’t already know.  Now she’s demanded the shower.  It would be amusing if I was not so concerned.”

Apparently, they were both in the same awkward boat with their charges.

_I hate Seelies._

His phone pinged again asking how Alec was doing.  He sent back that Alec was doing alright and not to worry.

When his ears picked up a low moan from the shower Jace scrambled towards the wooden training dummy in the room using his hands and forearms against the wood to blot out the sounds.

Several minutes later the shower cut out and Alec came back out, mostly dressed and pulling a dark shirt on over his head.

Jace glanced over from the wooden training dummy, resting one hand against it to keep himself there.

“Feel better?”  Jace smirked at Alec because the only other question lodged in his brain at the moment was what Alec had thought about.

Alec’s gaze drew down Jace’s body slowly before coming back up to meet Jace’s gaze.  Alec appeared redder than he had prior to the shower.

Jace felt himself smile, his ego obtaining a nice boost from that look.  He pushed off the training dummy walking towards Alec.  His footfalls made it halfway across the room when Alec tensed jerking back.

“Of course I can feel it.”  Alec said but his gaze was not connecting with Jace anymore, slightly to the left and wavering around the room.

Jace frowned not understanding the strange comment.  “Well, it’s Seelie magic it’s supposed to make you feel something.  Come here, I am expected to force feed you Gatorade and bread.” Jace motioned towards the bed.

“I can’t…there was a mission…it’s always…and it needed so much death.”

Jace felt a chill go down his spine at the disjointed words.

_Right, Seelie drug could induce hallucinations._

The medic had said something about that, informed Jace to expect it since Alec’s stress hormones were so high.

“The plants took an untimely death.  Clary’s fireball of doom and destruction certainly worked well enough.”  Jace said candidly trying to bring Alec’s focus back on him, reaching out slowly to take Alec’s wrist, tugging gently to guide him over to the bed.

Once Alec had settled on the bed Jace let go reaching over to grab the bottle of Gatorade cracking it open.

Alec hissed from the sound eyeing Jace warily.

_So what imagines does your mind conjure?  Because I don’t think you are seeing me right now._

Jace took a sip of the sugary drink handing it to Alec ensuring it was in his line of vision.

“It was lightning and life.” Alec rasped out, taking it and drinking half the drink down.  “Everyone’s soul burns to a different rhythm…I didn’t want to leave…there were so many all crying out.”

Disjointed as the words were Jace could piece together parts of what Alec said from past conversations now.

_Where did your mind take you so fast?_

Whether it was parts of Edom or remaking Jonathan or even that hateful chrysalis Jace was unsure.

Jace sat down a careful distance from Alec in case he decided to lash out.

Alec’s focus veered towards Jace clashed then slipped sideways not quite catching.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The red landscape spread out before him, desolate and barren.

His breath came harshly, lungs burning painfully on each inhale.  Scorching him slowly from the inside out.

_Why am I in Edom?_

“Because I will not sacrifice.”

That sounded like Magnus, but Alec could not be certain.

_I’m not sacrificing anyone._

“You did sacrifice.”

The plains before him were littered with the bodies of the vampires and mundanes he had killed to survive.  Two shadowhunters lay at his feet, sightless eyes staring up at him.

“What was the cost?”  One of the forms spoke, eyes bleeding.  The words were Magnus’s but the voice was the shadowhunter he had killed.

“This would be easier if you let go.”  The other shadowhunter spoke, blood spilling from his lips as he stood up leaning in to brush bloody lips across Alec’s frozen mouth before biting with razor sharp teeth.

Alec jerked back, feeling his skin drag across the harsh ground tearing open, leaving bloody stripes along the path he had crawled.

Jace clambered, glowing, uncovered, from the red ground Alec’s blood had splattered across.

“Tell me, parabati.  I know how much you want to tear me up.”  Jace’s voice sounded cold even as he straddled Alec rising up over him as shackles of red wrapped around Jace’s body impaling him along arms, wrists, and thighs so he could not move, held still for Alec.

_No.  Not like this.  I’m not a slave to my impulses._

“Be selfish.”

_I’m his protector.  I guard his soul as he does mine._

“Guard your soul, your body.”  Jace leaned down to lick a strip along his neck.

He couldn’t move.

_Move.  Pull away.  Back away._

“Your heart.”  Jace taunted over him, biting over his heart.

_Stop.  I won’t hurt him._

The red power drove through Jace’s heart before winding down and drawing Alec up into the blood pouring down Jace’s chest, ready to impale.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace was torn awake from Alec’s scream only to be blasted off of the bed before he could register what was going on.

His back hit the floor and he skidded into the dresser, smacking his shoulder, his wrist felt like it was on fire.

Battle instincts kicked in along with his adrenaline, heartbeat spiking.

Rolling to his feet Jace struggled to figure out what had just happened, eyes searching for his blade and a threat in the room.

Alec was awake and wide eyed staring towards Jace across the room, the blanket half off the bed leading a trail to where Jace had landed, when Alec had apparently hurled him out of bed.

_I put the handcuffs on you so I would not lose you while I slept, not to get punched across the room._

Irritation at being drop kicked out of bed rose within him.  Jace opened his mouth to snap a harsh comment.

“Jace?”

The confused, cautious tone in Alec’s voice put Jace on high alert, snapping his mouth shut.  He could see the broken handcuff dangling from Alec’s wrist mangled and twisted as if something had melted it.

_Hallucinogenic Seelie drug.  Alec must have had a nightmare.  Shit, did he lose control?_

No alarms were blaring in the Institute so Jace could safely guess Alec did not.

“It was just a dream.  It’s alright.”  Jace worriedly informed Alec, rubbing his bruised arm, eyes flicking from Alec down to twisted metal and then to the bedframe where the other half of the handcuff still remained uselessly dangling.

_It’s not alright.  Might have been a bad idea to chain up someone coming down from Seelie assault drugs._

“Is it you?”  Alec asked shifting slowly out of the bed appearing ready to bolt or attack.

_And I thought I had bad nightmares._

A part of Jace felt relieved he was not the one undergoing any hallucinogenic twisted dreams.

_I have enough problems to deal with without losing my mind._

“Of course it’s me.  Who else would be sleeping in your bed?”  Jace stated, cautiously taking a couple steps towards Alec.

Alec scanned Jace’s body searching for something, before relaxing slightly but clearly still on edge.  He lifted a hand to his shoulder and pushed down along the dark veins.

“I want it out, Jace.  I can feel it sinking in.  Twisting.”  Alec whispered brokenly.

Relief crashed through Jace harder than he anticipated, to hear Alec actually admit the power needed to be gone was everything.

Jace dashed across the room, only to be deflected when Alec brought up his arm barring Jace from coming closer, his eyes flown wide and breath harsh.

“Alec?”

“Just, just don’t touch me right now.” Alec choked out.

Jace took a step back folding his arms across his chest in his usual dominant stance.  “Seriously?  Don’t touch you?” Jace could hear the affronted anger in his own voice.

Alec closed his eyes before snapping them back open shaking his head, tugging at his hair.

Alec stumbled away from him.  “Not helping right now, Jace.”

_Ok…_

The feeling of uselessness started to sink back into Jace as he watched Alec pace the room, darting quick covert glances towards Jace every few steps.

“Want to talk about it?” Jace asked.

If anything Alec went paler than before.

_I’ll take that as a “No”._

“The Owl, did it ever force you to do something other than kill?”  Alec softly questioned into the quiet room.

Cold slithered through Jace’s veins at the question.  A tickle in the back of his mind demanding he approach the chaos and pain he had wrought while possessed by that malicious demon.  Jace slammed it down, back into the recesses of his mind where it needed to stay.

Jace moved away from Alec, flexing his hand, not wanting to be near someone he cared about when discussing the Owl.  “It made the mundanes I found kill the ones they loved the most.”

Alec swallowed, face shadowed in the dim early morning light.  “Did it ever force them to do anything prior to killing?”

_Where is this coming from?_

Lilith had only ever been interested in the purity of the mundanes blood and nothing more.

Jace snatched the Gatorade bottle off the nightstand taking a drink to ease his suddenly parched throat.  “No, it just killed and forced me to lead each victim back to Lilith every time.”

Saying it aloud eased some unknown pressure from Jace that had unwittingly built up since the Owl had been destroyed.

Whatever Alec was searching for in those questions apparently was answered because he moved to sit back down on the bed, breath gusting out and tense shoulders relaxing a bit more.

Alec reached up to his wrist where the mangled metal still swung gently from, snapping the remaining piece and letting it drop to the floor with a loud clang.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“I’m telling you I do not want to know what goes on in your head anymore.”  Izzy explained to Clary as Jace and Alec sat down for breakfast with them.

Clary hung her head into her palms, the parts of her face that were visible matched her red hair.

“What did she make you watch?”  Jace asked Izzy before digging into breakfast.  He required several things finished before training began that afternoon with the various Shadowhunters within the Institute that had signed up for Jace to train them now that Maryse had taken him off his leave, and obtaining Izzy’s attention was part of one task.

Izzy rolled her eyes, stabbing her pancake with her fork.  “It wasn’t what she made me watch.  It was the next couple hours of Clary explaining to me how each and every male in these walls is hot.  In explicit detail.  I did not need to know about how she found Underhill or my _dad_ sexy.”

Clary groaned pitifully into her hands, muttering to herself.

“I don’t want to hear about it either.”  Alec flatly warned his sister before starting up his tablet to begin work.

Jace chuckled.  “At least you didn’t get punched across the room just for trying to sleep.” He sent a glare towards Alec, whom was vaguely eating and already working on some Institute project on his tablet strictly ignoring their conversation now.

Jace elbowed him.

“I said I was sorry.”  Alec grumbled, typing something down on the tablet.  “Next time don’t chain me up.”

That got Clary to drop her hands looking at the two of them curiously.  “You can’t just chain someone up, Jace.”

Izzy snorted into her drink, choked and began hitting herself on the chest.

“I wanted to sleep.  Medic gave orders to make sure Alec rested, I was not going to just let him wake up and wander the halls or go back to Seelie hell.”  Jace defended himself twirling his knife in his free hand.

Izzy managed to clear her lungs.  “Seelie hell, I think it’s called Canto five or second circle, lust.”

“You know, I could just tell you where to go for more.”  Jonathan said and tossed his tray beside Alec sitting down.  “I doubt any Seelie will recognize me now and they certainly know how to have fun.”  The red head grinned towards Clary and Izzy.

“No one is seeking out anything Seelie related.  They’ll kill any shadowhunter on sight if you are caught alone.  Clary’s little stunt yesterday will have repercussions, especially considering they do not have a Queen selected at the moment.”  Alec said without looking up from the tablet. 

Jonathan dragged Alec’s coffee cup to himself without asking.  “You ever going to let that go?”  Jonathan growled, hoarding the coffee cup to himself.

Clary made a sound that suspiciously reminded Jace of a whip cracking.

Alec hit a few areas on the tablet, mouth thinning in thought.  “Unlikely.  I sent you your assignment for the day.  Should be on your phone.”

Jonathan dug his phone out clicking to the message, frowning as he read through it before turning a disbelieving gaze towards Alec.

Alec grabbed the biscuit off his plate and the tablet standing up.  “Better get started.”  Alec said to Jonathan.  Alec turned gripping Jace’s shoulder briefly before heading out for the day.

The brief contact burned through Jace’s shirt like a brand.

“What did you do to piss Alec off?”  Clary inquired.

Jonathan sipped at his hoarded coffee.  “I blatantly disregarded his orders.  Took a bet, it worked.”  Jonathan grinned towards Jace.  “I don’t regret it.”

Jace focused on his food realizing he needed to finish before Izzy did and he lost his chance.  He did not particularly want to hound her down.

“So what task has he set for you?”  Clary questioned as Izzy reached out and pulled the rest of Alec’s plate towards herself.

Jonathan thinned his mouth in distaste.  “Bloodwork in the infirmary for most of the day before sending me off to speak to Magnus.”  He turned his gaze towards Clary fully.  “Nothing to strenuous.”

“Why do you need to talk to Magnus?”  Jace asked flipping the knife in his hand back down to the table letting it bounce before catching it again, using the other hand to continue eating.

Piano taught him to be ambidextrous and he still felt a little off from the Seelie drug and getting punted across Alec’s room, channeling stress into the spinning object helped.

“Show off.”  He heard Clary mutter under her breath.

“Book returns and a side project he wants me to investigate.”  Jonathan answered.

_Did not answer that in the slightest._

Jace dropped attempting to interrogate Jonathan further, turned to Izzy who had most of Alec’s plate already cleared.  “Have anything in the armory that can absorb power?  Since that demon mission we took out one greater demon but we still do not know if there are more throughout the city.  I want something to capture them in if possible.”

Izzy cocked her head thinking of the weapons located in the Institute’s armory.  “There might be a few we could use.  I would need to repurpose them as either chains, shackles, or something similar.”

A plan took further shape in Jace’s mind.

Jace set the spinning knife down.  “How soon can you have at least two ready?  I’m not sure how fast Alec is going to want to push hunting more demons down before needing to focus on appeasing the Seelie court.”

Izzy finished up the last of Alec’s food thinking it over.  “Give me a couple days.  Should have two ready for you then.  Also, leave Saturday open.  That’s when I intend to have Clary’s birthday party, barring some catastrophic event.”

“Great.  Any chance you are going to tell me where this super secret party will be held?” Jace questioned gathering his plate and glass up.

Izzy gave him a flat look.  “I do not trust you to withhold that information from Alec.  So no.  You get to find out the day before.  Maybe.” She grinned at him playfully.

_I hate being the one surprised._

Something he knew Alec also shared.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The files stretched out before Alec encased every known death Jonathan had performed since the Clave had discovered his existence.  Each folder flickered with color from the stained glass window behind him depicting the Angel destroying a greater demon.

_Two, maybe three months to deal this much destruction._

The folders sat like gravestones, silent and solemn, each one closed except the one directly in front of Alec.

Alec sighed mentally.

_I dragged Jonathan out of there for a reason and Heaven did not lash out._

His arm sent a jolt of pain through his bicep ending in his wrist that was still hurting from breaking the shackle that morning.

The Iratze not working on him since the mission to stop the rift to the void opening was worrying.  Alec had figured logically Edom and the chrysalis each held more power than closing the rift in the sky would require.  But clearly something in there did not add up properly leaving him in pain.

_Again._

“Tell me again.  Why Jonathan?”  Maryse’s voice cut through his thoughts as she entered his office.

Alec rolled his shoulder back feeling the pull of the stitches, sitting up straighter in the rich black chair.

“I told you our deal already.  I have Jonathan performing the required bloodwork the Clave wants here at the Institute, where he will not be tortured for it.  It will be ready when the Clave officials arrive, complete with several of our medics sign offs.  They cannot question it further.”

Maryse walked further into the room, pulling out the wooden chair in front of his desk and sitting down.  The chair creaked slightly.

“Alec, the bloodwork only answers one part of the question.  They want to know what the symbols looked like.  The Clave plans to send more shadowhunters into other hellish realms to destroy them, just as you did.”

_And that would be a massacre._

Alec rubbed a hand over his eye.  “I told you.  I survived Edom because of Jonathan, a demon.  Unless the Clave intends to find a friendly demon in every hellish realm it is a suicidal mission for anyone they send.  I did not know how to reach the souls and only discovered them because of Jonathan.”

_And Jace.  Survived because of Jace._

Maryse’s mouth thinned into a tight line.  “Jonathan is hardly friendly.”  She looked pointedly at his desk filled with the murders Jonathan had committed as his demonic self.

Rather than move the files into a neat pile, Alec directed his gaze straight at Maryse locking their gazes.  “I’m redirecting him.  The Silent Brotherhood already performed wonders for his mental state.  He was confused when he first changed.  He needs this just as much as the Clave does.  Let people heal, killing Jonathan does not bring anyone back.  Announcing his death as a political ploy will only reopen the wounds that have been closing the last few months.”

Maryse shifted in her seat.  “Redirecting or delaying the inevitable destruction he is capable of?” She questioned sharply, searching her son’s face for an answer.

The sharp need to protect drove up through his body, sending sparks of adrenaline quickly followed by the corrupted power to circulate through his blood in a sharp spiral.

_Jonathan has nothing left to lose.  Except Clary._

He did not look away from Maryse’s gaze, voice coming out hard and direct.  “The Clave dismissed the charges against Jace for accidentally killing the Downworlders, they let him go for the deaths as the Owl because he was possessed by a demon. They let me go for killing Joceyln because I was _possessed_ by a demon.  They forgave Clary for breaking a host of laws in her flagrant display of stupidity during her entire chase of Valentine.  Jonathan is no different.  He was made by Valentine into a demon, with no choice in the matter.  Will you really continue to punish the child for something his father did to him when he no longer carries that curse?” 

Maryse leaned back in her chair and Alec realized he had stood leaning over his desk towards her.

Drawing back, Alec released a sharp breath, his shoulder itched from the stitches pulling the skin taut.  A second itch hovered in the back of his mind waiting patiently.

“I have hundreds of families that need compensation for Jonathan’s deeds as a demon.”  Maryse sternly informed him.

Alec leaned forward placing his hands on the desk.  “He has a soul.  He was possessed by Lilith’s blood.  He never stood a chance to choose what he wanted to become.  The downworlders, the mundanes, all the people Clary left dead in the wake of her decisions dragging Jace through hell along the way, all of them were given a chance to grieve just to allow for her to live, to thrive from her mistakes.  He must be given a chance after coming back from being a demon, otherwise why fight the demons when we cannot accept someone who came back from being one.  The psychological effects are practically identical to possession.  Anger, loss of control, and masochistic tendencies.  The number of shadowhunters we would kill on a daily basis would drive us to extinction within years.”  It required a conscious effort to not begin yelling.  “We’ll just kill ourselves.”  Alec whispered softly.

Maryse shifted her gaze away staring towards the massive stained glass window behind Alec, he could see the creases of disagreement forming around her mouth the longer she stared into the distance absorbing his words.

“Perhaps send him to Scholomance as a teacher.  They reopened the elite training academy recently.”  She suggested after a while.

The muscles in Alec’s jaw pulled tight, fist forming in tension he forced it to relax.  “So you can remove him from under our roof?  He will not leave here.  I made him.  He is my responsibility.”

Maryse turned to examine Alec, a motherly cast to her face now.  “Alec, what you have done with your life far outshines anything I did with my own.  I do not want you to tarnish your reputation by associating with Jonathan.”

Alec closed the file in front of him setting it to the side.  “Tarnish my reputation?”  He questioned disbelievingly.  “Like I tarnished my reputation by supporting Jace when we thought he was the son of Valentine?  Tarnished my name when I dated a warlock?  Tarnished the family name with my decisions to form a new cabinet that included downworlder leaders?”

Maryse frowned at that reaching out across the mahogany desk.

Alec did not allow her the chance to take his hand, lifting his hands off the desk and dropping them to his sides. “I know what I am doing.  I lead this Institute, even if you have not given that title back yet, you will.  This is the right decision.”

Maryse dropped her hand back in her lap.

_“The burdens of a leader will weigh you down.  You must be stronger than that.”_

They were words Maryse had taught him years ago while training and studying to gain enough credit to take over the Institute when he grew up, following in his parents footsteps.  Footsteps he had no idea were stained in blood and deceit from their time with the Circle, Valentine’s little mad clique.

Alec had taken that burden regardless, naively thinking he could protect everyone under his command, and now he would deal with the decisions to keep those under him safe and the consequences if he did not.

_Two bodies covered in blood laying on the floor._

“What is your plan for dealing with the Seelies?  Lydia expects you at that meeting later today.”  Maryse inquired bringing her body straighter, letting the lost moment pass without comment.

Alec leaned down pulling out a thick portfolio filled with pages that had clearly been handwritten.

“This was going to be presented to the Clave as a way to prevent genocide between various Downworlder factions and the Shadowhunters.  We did not commit genocide on the Seelies, we stalled their personal breeding program.  But I think some of what is in here will be required in dealing with the Seelies wrath.  They are not going to like it when I tell them they can no longer perform their revels in such a large capacity.  Their revel to lure mundanes into their realm can be considered an act of genocide towards the mundanes, which would put the Seelies actions into breaking the Accords.”

Maryse raised her eyebrows at that.

Alec flipped through several pages, landing on one discussing the penalties of those breaking the law.  “Clary may be required to leave this Institute and live in Idris or at the academy until she completes a more formal training.”

“Why not allow Jace or Isabelle to train her again?”  Maryse questioned standing up and beginning to move towards the window to look out.

Alec frowned at that.  “You assigned Izzy weapons reconstruction today.  Jace has a list about ten hours long of shadowhunters requesting training time with him.  I am not pulling either of them to train someone who clearly does not want to listen to regulations and logic.  She has a good heart, but she rarely sees the full picture.  This mess she just handed us is proof of that.”

A knock on the door sounded and Jonathan stuck his head in the door.

Alec pulled out the other tomes from the same drawer that had belonged to Magnus placing them in a backpack, motioning for Jonathan to come in.

Jonathan strode in snatching up the backup giving Alec a vague mocking salute before strolling back out the door.

Maryse’s frown deepened as she watched the interaction.  “You trust him out on his own?” She questioned.

Alec glanced back at his mother before looking over to the door where Jonathan had vanished.  “Yes.  It is just a short errand to take the tomes back to Magnus.  Figured I did not let him out to the bar when he asked, I offered him this short day trip instead.”

Maryse frowned and came around the desk to stand beside him before kneeling down to his eye level.  “I had hoped you would take those to Magnus yourself.  I don’t understand what happened in Edom or anything after, but I do not like watching my boy lose something that appeared like real love.”

Entering any further into that discussion would spell certain disaster.

Alec pushed himself away from his desk walking over to his door, pushing it open and looking back to Maryse.  The implication clear.

Maryse stood and walked towards the door, stopping beside him as if she wanted to say something but no words came forth.

Alec swallowed forcing his voice into something calm, it came out hard.  “The last time you tried to set me up the Lydia debacle happened, look out that turned out.  Magnus and I ended.”

_Ended the moment I broke the seals to Edom and all I could find was the other part of my soul._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The sprawl of clean, sharp metal weapons filled every shelf.  Chains hung from the ceiling in one section, another held an array of various arrows that Jace suspected Alec would kill to have complete access to.

“Hold this.”  Izzy said shoving a large chain and a flail into his arms.

Jace caught them on reflex, muscles from the last couple days of ten to twelve hour training sessions protested even after he had applied his runes.  Convincing Izzy to bring him with to Idris in her search for weapons had not been difficult, the random trek to the middle of nowhere had been mildly uncomfortable.  Izzy was slightly annoyed that the absorption weapons she could craft at the Institute would not hold up against a greater demon which brought them here.

_Wherever here is._

Upon entering Idris Izzy had proceeded to drag him outside the city bounds and along a dirt path for what had felt like hours before they came across this rather quaint establishment at the edge of the wards.

_We passed up several weaponsmiths in Idris to go hiking through the hills to this guy._

Jace glanced over at Izzy hefting the chain in his arms into a more comfortable position with the flail.

Izzy looked like a kid in a candy store.  Eyes bright as she took in everything around them, hand trailing over various whips and flitting over some of the blades.

“We’re on a budget and you promised I could get a few things for helping you lug all this back to the Institute.”  Jace reminded her, swiping an updated Sensor, something to detect demonic energies, off one of the racks to add to the pile.

Izzy left the whips with a forlorn look on her face.  “You just had to requisition some of my spending money.  I bet you had to ask Alec once and he caved from one look.  My brother was supposed to support his sweet sister.  Me.” Izzy huffed walking away from the weapons she had been inspecting.

“No.  He had some questions about it.”  Jace told her not willing to let her know that all it had taken was handing the sheet of paper to Alec and a vague description of requiring weapons.  He had not even explained why he needed the weapons before Alec had pulled the sheet over, changing what he needed, and signing off on it.

The weaponsmith in the remote outskirts of Idris appeared ecstatic to have Izzy and Jace in his establishment and had babbled to them endlessly about various weapons to kill demons with until Jace had sent him a hard enough glare he backed off to allow them space to browse.  Jace could see the weaponsmith watching them from his workbench where he had resumed working on sharpening a new knife using adamas instead of normal steel.

_Thought only females could craft weapons using adamas._

However Izzy found this guy the use of adamas certainly explained why the shop was located on the outskirts of Idris and they had hiked for hours to get here.

_No wonder Izzy jumped at the chance for me to be her pack mule._

Izzy lighted her fingers over some items that reminded Jace vaguely of the Malachi configuration she had finished and completed.

“Got anything that absorbs Seelie magic and demonic?”  Jace called over to the weaponsmith.

The weaponsmith glanced up, gently placing the blade he was working on down along with the adamas.  “Certainly.”  He wandered quickly over to a cabinet pulling open several draws which all held various sized orbs.

They reminded Jace creepily of the orbs Magnus had used to extract Edom’s power from Alec.

“Oh!  Perfect!”  Izzy practically skipped over to examine the drawer with Jace, she paused her hand hovering over the orbs.  “Are any of these dangerous to touch for Shadowhunters?”  Izzy questioned the weaponsmith.

“Everything in the bottom drawer.  You would need a special box to carry it if that is what you are searching for.” He answered them, brushing his long black hair over his shoulder where it had traveled when he opened the drawer for them to view.

Jace nudged Izzy giving her a slight shake of the head.

“We’ll take four of the nonhazardous orbs.” Izzy said glancing at a schematic of hers she had brought with.

“Make it six.”  Jace amended picking up one that glowed a soft amber color.

The weaponsmith glanced between the two of them for confirmation.  “Do you need them completely empty or with remnants?”

“Empty.”  Jace informed him.  No way was he messing this mission up.

The weaponsmith reached in selecting six of the orbs that remained entirely dark, the drawer glowed with vague luminescent colors as he closed it.

“Can you add in about 50 feet of adamas infused chain.”  Izzy commented, cocking her hip out and looking at the weaponsmith with her large eyes.  “I’m not sure if I will need to melt it down for a project or not.  Unless you are willing to part with any solid bars.”

The weaponsmith tilted his head back and pretended to consider her request but Jace could already see the answer on his face.

“I can give you the chain, no bars.” He told her carrying the orbs to the counter and packaging them in a soft box.

Izzy harrumphed, crossing her arms in vague annoyance that she did not get exactly what she wanted, even with her flirtatious behavior.

“What are you seeking?”  The man asked Jace directly, clearly searching for more income from the two of them.

“Rope and something flammable.  Have to burn them up somehow.  Preferably something that will ignite quickly.”

The man went and retrieved the items.

Once Izzy had paid she picked everything up but the fifty feet of metal chain, leaving that load for Jace to carry home.

Jace scooped it up vaguely wondering if it was fifty or a hundred pounds before deciding to throw it up on his shoulder as his best option for lugging this weight back home.

Once outside and a decent distance away from the rundown establishment Jace asked Izzy why the hell she had dragged them to the middle of nowhere for essentially scrap metal and a handful of weapons.

Izzy tossed her head back to remove some hair from her face.  “Meliorn.”  She answered simply.

“Meliorn told you about a weaponsmith in Idris?”  Jace repeated dubiously, shifting the weight on his shoulders to a more comfortable position. “And you dragged me out here for the scrap metal and some orbs why?”

Izzy glanced over at him, smirking as he shifted the coil of metal chain again.

“Zayde, picked that location for his establishment because it crosses over the wards of Idris.  He can cater to both shadowhunters and downworlders.  You would be surprised at the amount of stuff he carries that ends up being a mix of Seelie and Nephilim weapons.  He’s got some pet project he has been working on most of his life to integrate adamas with the wooden magic the Seelies use.  Considering we might end up at war with the Seelies any day now I wanted to obtain the best metal I could locate in a short amount of time.”  She tilted her head back the way they had come.  “Zayde’s.”

Jace dodged a particularly large hole in the overgrown path.

“How did Meliorn know about him?  I mean Zayde is a Shadowhunter.”  Jace jumped over a large log that he knew was not there on the path in.  Although he might be remembering it differently now that he had a dead weight to carry.  The chains rattled on his back when he dropped back down to the ground.

Izzy was small enough and with less over her back that she could duck under it and crawl the short distance to the other side.

“Zayde is half Seelie, maybe a quarter Seelie since he does not have the vine markings, at least none I have ever seen.  Meliorn met him long before me.  How?  I do not know.  Meliorn always kept most of his life from me.  Probably why we worked well together at first.  No questions, just fun.”  Izzy responded easily glancing up at the sky which had darkened with clouds.

Jace followed her gaze.

“It better not rain.”  Jace grumbled shifting the dead weight of chain on his back.  The last torrential downpour he had been caught in had forced him to throw out his boots.

_Angel, that night._

Between the demon ichor that no longer dissipated and weather Jace had already gone through two pairs of boots this year.  Huh, maybe that is what he should get Alec for a gift.  They had both always tended to give each other practical gifts that they could immediately use in the field.  No, that gift was bland, boring.  Not anything to show an inkling of what had developed between Alec and himself and those whispered words that had branded themselves into his brain, searing his body every time he thought of them and the touch of Alec’s mouth over his skin as he whispered them.

_“I love you.”_

Jace pushed the memory away reluctantly unwilling to dwell on it.

The wind was starting to pick up, giving warning to the incoming clouds they could see through the trees.

“You ever going to tell me where you are hosting Clary and Alec’s joint birthday?” Jace questioned Izzy in an attempt to redirect his own thoughts that wanted to swirl towards Alec.

Izzy glanced over with an evil smirk.  “We are going to an Art Gala, followed by a scheduled appointment with body painting then we all get to crash at the same hotel that is hosting both.”

Jace’s jaw fell open because yeah it was perfectly Clary.  But how the hell was Izzy expecting Alec to go along with that.

“Don’t worry.  I’ve bribed Alec.  The evening starts off with us going to an archery range that acts like laser tag.”

Jace snorted, feeling his boot sink into a softer patch of ground before unsticking on the next step.  “How the hell did you managed that?”  The grey clouds overhead continued to roll in holding tightly to their water particles.

Izzy shifted her bag of weapons.  “By flat out lying and telling him there were suspected Seelie’s attending the archery park searching for viable mundanes rather than using a revel.”

“And he believed you?”  Jace asked stunned, eyes shooting towards Izzy’s form beside him since he could not turn his head as easily with the heavy weight across his shoulders.

Izzy’s eyes sparkled in the light.  “Perfectly.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace dragged himself back to his room.  Every muscle ached, reactivating the runes over and over during training and then again with a hundred pounds strapped to his back.  And he would know, he made Izzy weigh it when they got home.

_I will never again go weapons shopping with Izzy._

Although the detour she had taken him on did provide him some interesting new upgrades and tools, that would be useful for what he intended.

“You look horrible.”  Alec intoned from his bed, tablet resting on his knee and wearing his normal sweats for sleeping.

Jace stared blankly at Alec for a moment, processing that he had not needed to corner him or that Alec had to fight or argue first for him to be sitting there.  Pulling himself together Jace threw Alec a lopsided grin.

“Izzy took me weapons shopping.”  Jace said heading towards his dresser to grab new clothes for the shower, dropping two empty orbs and the sensor on his dresser.  The sensor was hot in Jace’s hand as he set it down.

_Alec._

Alec shot him a mildly confused look, placing the tablet alongside the items Jace had set down.  “You love weapons shopping.” Alec rationally pointed out the obvious as he sat down on the bed.

_Not when I’m slogging through miles of terrain with a hundred pounds on my back._

“She made me carry a hundred pounds of adamas infused chain back to the Institute!” Jace snapped starting to strip his clothes off, uncaring if Alec watched or not.

Alec shifted on the bed.  “It was to Idris, right?  It’s not that far to walk via the warlock portals.”  Alec logically pointed out mouth turning down slightly, tilting his head a fraction.

Jace headed into his bathroom turning on the shower.  “It is when she drags you out to the middle of fucking nowhere.  We were literally at the edge of the Idris wards and then had to carry everything back.”

He heard Alec chuckled behind him, a rare sound.

“Was it uphill both ways and through the snow?”  Alec deadpanned breaking into a quiet laugh.

Jace turned back around carding his hand through his own hair to push the blond locks out of his face.

“No, it was downhill into muddy hell.” He quipped, trying to ignore the urge to drag Alec to him and press his mouth to his.  The parabati rune gave off the strange warning pulse Jace felt every few days.

_Did I mess up the bond bringing you back?_

It was a question that Jace tried hard not to contemplate especially considering they kept falling back together.

As if sensing Jace’s thoughts Alec reached out and ran his hand down Jace’s side pausing over the parabati rune.

“Take your shower.  There is something I wanted to discuss with you.”  Alec’s gazed dropped over Jace’s body, a dark hunger flashing across his face before clearing.  “and I would rather not do this while you are naked.”

The warmth of the casual conversation vanished leaving behind a cold feeling as Jace stepped into the shower.

He turned up the heat on the water.

_That look._

Once showered and dressed Jace meandered back out to his room where he found Alec sitting on the bed slowly massaging his right arm.

Alec dropped his hand away the moment Jace walked in the room, dark gaze lifting to track Jace’s movements.

“Maryse and I want to send Clary to the Shadowhunter Academy for more formal training.” Alec stated calmly, dark eyes gauging Jace for a reaction.

_That was it?_

Jace shook his head, shrugging his shoulders.  “So?”

Alec shifted on the bed, hand gnarling into the blanket.  “Why are you not fighting me on this?”  Alec asked guardedly.

Jace moved to stand in front of Alec.  “Because her and I.  We have not been together in a while now.”  Jace shook his head, blond hair sticking to his neck and face.  “Fuck, Alec.  You really think I would have done everything I have with you if I still was?”

Alec’s body tensed, but unless he wanted to push Jace aside he could not get up.  “You did that because I was sick.”  Alec stated impassively.

_You still believe that…_

Jace reeled back, eyes flaring.  “Fuck you, Alec.”  He snapped before crossing his arms across his chest and glaring down.  “Our souls were entwined.  Maybe it’s just me but I want to feel that again.”

Alec stared up at him, before giving a soft scoff turning his eyes away.  “So what, just going to fuck me every time I get out of control?”  Alec asked scathingly.

“Yes.” Jace bit out.  “And I’ll keep doing it.”  He said more softly.

_If it keeps you safe.  Keeps you a part of me._

Alec’s angry brown eyes snapped to Jace’s multi-colored ones.

“You told me you wanted it gone.  Lose the shirt, Alec.  I want to see how bad it is.” Jace ordered unmoving from his stance.

Alec pushed Jace away from the bed standing up.  “I never said that.”  Alec informed him with unnerving calm, heading towards the door.

Jace easily bounced back from the shove.

“Yeah you did.  You were high as a kite on Seelie date rape drugs at the time, but you did say it.”  Jace snarled following after. “Alec!  Look at me!”  Jace yelled.

Alec stopped walking but did not turn around, hand clenched into a fist.

Jace circled around him until he stood before him.

Alec closed his eyes.  “I’m fine, Jace.  I will not force-”

“Kiss me.”  Jace demanded, moving into Alec’s personal space.  “Kiss me and tell me you don’t need this.”

There was silence as Jace held that dark brown gaze, refusing to back down.

Jace could see the moment Alec broke lunging towards him, desperately consuming his mouth.  The parabati rune burned twisting into the same pulse and burn it had done when he held Alec’s soul.

Jace moved to pull away to ask.

“Don’t.”  Alec hissed into his mouth and slammed their mouths together again, pressing his body into Jace tightly.  “I don’t need this.”

_Right.  Because I don’t need this either._

Jace bit Alec’s lip for the comment earning a low groan before he slanted his mouth across Alec’s focusing on divesting Alec of his shirt, breaking for air when he managed to get his shirt off.

Alec took a step back from Jace breathing hard and flushed, the lines along his arm stood out starkly against the pale skin, parabati rune glowing softly.

“There is a darkness in me Jace.  Enough that my runes are not working anymore.”  Alec whispered.

If it was supposed to be a warning Jace completely missed the point.

“I thought the same of myself at one point.”  Jace informed him pulling Alec back to him, mouthing at Alec’s neck along the deflect rune.

Alec reached out tracing along Jace’s wrists, arms, and over his heart searching for something and leaving a burning trail where he touched.  “We keep ending up like this.”  Alec murmured.

“Stop talking.” Jace demanded slanting their mouths together again in a heated claim.

Somehow they ended up on the floor, ignoring the bed entirely, ripping the rest of their clothes off before sliding together in the instinctual rolling motion.

Jace’s skin started to burn where Alec’s hand gripped his hips.  Cracking his eyes open he could see Alec’s arm ablaze in a violent red hue along where the black lines usually stood stark against.

_Fuck, I don’t want to stop._

Three more thrusts and the burn on his hip from Alec’s hand and the parabati rune were unbearable.  Jace wrenched away.

“Jace?”  Alec sounded confused, wary, and hurt.  He rolled away reaching for his clothes to cover himself.

“Just need to get something.” Jace said, getting up.  “Don’t move.”

Jace scrambled quickly over to his dresser grabbing the two orbs returning just as fast.

He dropped back down on top of Alec, dropping one orb on the carpet and handing the other to Alec.  “Hold that.”  Jace ordered before plunging his tongue into Alec’s mouth, wrapping his hand around Alec’s wrist feeling the tension in the tendons there.

Thankfully, Alec complied without complaint caught up in the rhythm Jace had started up again.

The parabati rune branded itself into Jace’s skin all over again, their souls twisting together.  The familiar pulse and burn started to sync into the parabati bond.

_So close._

Jace could feel Alec’s life force burrowing its way back into the parabati rune the same moment the red on his arm blazed bright enough for Jace to see it through his eyelids.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The room held the faint odor of musk and burnt carpet.  The thin carpet they were laying on did nothing to aid towards comfort.  His shoulder and hip ached from falling asleep on the hard surface.  Yet Alec could not care the least about the smell or the hard floor instead burrowing closer to Jace who had an arm flung across Alec’s chest and his leg entangled around his lower body.

Connection.

The relief that flowed through his veins felt tangible.  The whispered thoughts and red flickers in his vision gone for the moment.  Leaving behind a lighter sensation of feeling natural and whole again.  Something he had not felt since that brief night in the midst of a thunderstorm, before that he could not recall a time.

_I risked this bond to keep him alive if all else failed._

Alec could not bring himself to regret the decision to voluntarily bring that power back into his veins.  He had desired the rich, sparking power and the mission required a failsafe.  And fail it did.  Every alternative to not connect himself to the symbol had ended the moment Jonathan had sliced open his skin letting his blood hit the ground, providing the opening he required.  But it still did not detract from the massive risk Alec had undertaken exposing himself to the power of the hellish realm the demons had been opening their rift to.

_To think I believed myself to have this under control._

Alec turned his head enough to view the two red glowing orbs slowly burning holes into Jace’s carpet.

_“I need some new weapons.”_

Alec smiled to himself at the memory of Jace’s request.  It never crossed his mind when he had signed that sheet that Jace had been planning, designing for this to happen.  All to ensure their bond grew strong enough to push the tainted power out.

Although based on the fact they were on the floor Alec guessed there were some steps Jace had thrown out the window in true Jace fashion opting for the quickest route to solve this.

_Again._

Alec felt a faint frown as he recalled the first time this whole thing had started, completely delirious when Jace had captured him, pinned to the wall punching reason further out of Alec enough that he had kissed him.  Back then he had been oscillating between seeking power out or destroying Jace.  Yet, Jace had not been destroyed if anything it was Alec that was ruined.  All the carefully constructed barriers he had put up between them over the years, hiding behind them.  Jace had torn down again and again each time they came close.  Close enough that their parabati bond had changed into something far more intimate.

_My soul close to yours._

“You here with me?”  Jace rasped lifting his head and pulling away from Alec enough to search his face.  Jace’s heterochromia eyes still were heavy with sleep but Alec could see the concern and warmth in that gaze.

“I’m always here with you.”  Alec responded reaching up to trace along Jace’s jaw.

The certainty of that statement shocked Alec even as he uttered it.  Of course he was always with Jace.  Jace had held his soul through death.  Held it again when their bond pushed the rest of the power out replacing it with their linked emotions and the power the parabati bond now generated.  Linked emotions that held a love Alec felt himself reeling from the sheer magnitude of it coming from Jace.

_Years to feel this returned._

Only he recognized this feeling in the bond before.  During that thunderstorm right before he tried throwing his life away.

Jace reached out tracing the rune along Alec’s neck setting his nerves alight and goosebumps to break out across his skin.

“You weren’t.  Not since I gave you back your soul.  Hell, before that, sometime long before Clary entered our lives.  I thought this would fix it.”  Jace waved an arm between their two bodies. “Instead it just threw me into this emotional warfare with you and I can’t leave it.  I don’t want to leave it.”

Alec pulled himself to a sitting position, feeling his emotions towards Jace be revealed without fear through the bond, it was strangely liberating not needing to put up every barrier again.  Some barriers remained, closed off and isolated far from anything Jace would ever think to search for.  “For what it’s worth.  I did not intend to go all psycho and coerce you into this.”  Alec half joked.

Jace smiled at him, leaving Alec feeling contentedly warm.  “This has been the best thing that has happened to me.  Our bond transcends the normal rules for parabati.  If it is my angelic blood or because you were a god for a short time, who knows.  But it is there and its real and I’m not letting you go.”

Alec leaned forward brushing a light kiss across Jace’s lips.  Not enough to ignite a fire, just enough to inform him that yes, yes he wanted that as well before pulling back letting the calm follow into the silence.

“What are we going to tell Izzy about those orbs?  And how am I going to explain to Maryse how my arm is magically healed overnight?”  Alec asked at length.

Jace snorted back a laugh, grinned pushing himself to his feet.  “Izzy already knows.”

“Izzy already knows.”  Alec parroted back, a mix of horror and revulsion twisted through him at the realization of how she knew returned to him.

Jace shot him a look with a slight frown on his face, brow creasing.  “You don’t recall her barging into your room directly before the Silent Brother?” Jace questioned pausing near the bathroom door.

_No.  I remember.  I just wanted to forget that my sister saw any of that, no matter how short._

“I remember, just needed to forget how she knew.”  Alec grumbled following Jace towards the shower.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Alec sat in his office, the work in front of him untouched, staring at his right arm.  Bare of runes, bare of the black veins, bare of anything but plain pale skin.  The bond had allowed him to finally activate an Iratze that morning removing the stitches from his shoulder, healing the ache from his wrist, and taking the bruises littered across his body with it.  He had not inscribed the old runes back on his arm yet, felt to leery to attempt another rune just yet.  Afraid it might not work and that the craving for a darker power would return.

“Alec?”

Maryse’s faint voice floated across the span of his office.

Alec’s head snapped up sharply.

Maryse stood hesitantly in the doorway, frozen midstep staring at her son in wide eyed shock.  The creases in her jaw running deeper as she fought to control her emotions.  She took a step.

Then Alec spotted it.

A misting sheen across his mother’s eyes.  His mother tried to straighten her back, chin rising in defiance of her own emotion towards her child.  “You’re healed.”  She whispered in wonder.

Alec felt his fist clench in reflex, waiting for the torrent of raised questions she would throw at him.  Arrows poised to sink into the shifting parabati bond with their barbs.

Maryse briskly walked toward Alec pulling him from his office chair and wrapping her arms around him like she had not done since he was a small child.

“Mom.”

Maryse did not release him, but held on tighter.

“My boy.  I thought I would lose you again.  I knew you were getting worse I could see it every passing day.  Every time you left.  Every time you came back you were darker.” Maryse sobbed.

Alec shaken into stillness stood quietly for a moment before the sheer magnitude of how close he had come to giving up everything, the Institute, his family, Jace, for more of that dark power tore a sob from him.

_How many times did I sneak out for the power in the demon ichor?  How many times did Jace need to chase me down?  How many chances did my own mother give me to survive it?_

Alec could not voice the questions, could only cling to his mother as another choked sob tore from him.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The loft smelled of some fancy spice Jace could never identify but recognized as Magnus.

Currently said warlock held the two red glowing orbs aloft with his blue power as he examined them.

“This reminds me of the rift.”  Magnus stated after a moment, glancing at Jace with his head tilted cat-like to the side.  “Where did you find them?”

Jace forced himself not to rub the back of his neck and instead wandered over to one of Magnus’s couches before nerves got to him and he opted to stand instead, biting his lower lip, unable to meet Magnus’s gaze.  “Found them on patrol during the cleanup.”

_Ex-fiance can never know._

Magnus gave a noncommittal hum before gliding over to his warded safe, waving his hand across it and turning his wrist before it unlocked and opened.  Golden clockwork pieces spinning, unlatching and pulling back to reveal the contents inside.

All Jace could catch was a stack of leather-bound books before Magnus’s body shielded the safe from view as he placed the two glowing red orbs inside and closed it again.  His blue magic wrapping around the golden clockwork pieces pulling them back into place with a thud as it locked together.

Magnus spun around holding his arms out to his side.  “If you find any more please bring them to me.  I will keep them here until the Spiral Labyrinth completes the neutralization of the current dangerous bombs I entrusted them.  I would not want to give them to much.”  Magnus narrowed his eyes at Jace.

Jace shifted his weight.  “Right.  That’s all.  I’ll just head out.” He headed towards the door quickly.

“How is Alexander?” Magnus asked quietly.

Jace froze, swallowed.  “I think you need to ask him that.”  Jace forced out of his tight throat.

“I think I have a right to know regardless.”  Magnus walked over to the mirror in the foyer and removed a small white and red charm cut down the middle.  “Before Edom I nearly wiped him from my memories believing he truly desired our relationship to end.  After Edom I understood I had lost him.  But I need to know he is alright.  Only a couple days ago he lay in my guest room comatose because his runes would not activate and Izzy was afraid to bring him back to the Institute.”

Jace slowly brought his gaze back to the warlock.  Magnus appeared somehow lesser, but his glittery gaze did not waver from Jace.

“His runes started activating again this morning.” Jace acknowledged, turning to face Magnus the rest of the way, uncertain what that little white and red charm meant.  The swirling guilt he had expected to feel when discussing Alec with Magnus was nonexistent, instead a more primal feeling rose up.  He wanted Magnus to back off, needed him to leave Alec alone, leave them alone to figure out exactly what they even had.  “You two ended.  Let him heal from Edom in his own way.”  Jace said harsher than he had intended.

Magnus drew his head back, retreating a step, eyes opening further before suddenly turning away from Jace and gliding over to his couch, spinning and sitting down with a small flourish of blue that left a glass of something alcoholic in his hand.

“So you reclaimed his lost soul and returned it to him.  Now what are you to each other?”  Magnus questioned drinking half the glass before leveling his yellow cat-eyed gaze at Jace.

_Yeah, he is going to be pissed. Even though he did return that engagement band months ago._

At least with Clary if he ever got around to telling her about him and Alec he knew he would not be burned alive.  Unless Alec had already told the warlock.

_Ugh, this line of thinking was getting him nowhere._

“You better not be drinking right before you summon the next one.”  Jonathan’s voice spoke from the loft’s door to the upstairs level.

Irrational fear started to creep through Jace’s body, leaving his nerves alight and shaky.

Magnus leveled Jonathan with an irritated glare.  “We can put off destroying another demon for the day.  Go home.”

“What is he doing here?  Unsupervised?”  Jace demanded, dropping the earlier conversation with relief and pointing at Jonathan who was suspiciously covered in blood and grim.

“I enjoy killing things.” Jonathan drawled prowling further into the room.

Cold slithered its way down Jace’s spine at those words.

“Alexander sent him over here with some of my things I neglected to retrieve from the institute and since then we made a pact to summon a demon or two a day for Jonathan to destroy.”  Magnus replied taking a sip of his drink and waving towards Jonathan.  “Messily.” He added with disgust.

Jonathan grinned.  “It is really quite cathartic.  You should try it.”  He said tossing a vial of black powder back and forth between his hands.

Magnus wrapped blue power around the black vial pulling it towards himself before snatching it out of the air.  “Please, refrain from throwing my things.”  Magnus requested lowly.

Jonathan smirked, catching Jace’s gaze.   A gaze that for a brief moment Jace could have sworn twisted into his maniacal sneer before wiping clean.

“Well, Jace I think that will be all for now.”  Magnus drained the rest of his glass vanishing it from his hand once emptied.  “Alright let us go ease your tormented soul.”  Magnus directed at Jonathan.

Jace crossed his arms staring Magnus down.  “I want to see this.  The head of the Institute needs to know what Jonathan is doing unsupervised.”  Jace declared.

“I’m quite supervised.” Jonathan drawled waving a hand towards Magnus, turning and heading up the stairs.  Jace followed not letting Jonathan out of his sight.  “Do you not trust your precious parabati’s judgement?” Jonathan called back turning into the room where a large demon summoning circle had been drawn out.

Magnus moved into the room behind Jace silently sending his nerves skittering.  Two beasts in the form of humans.

_Come on pull it together.  It’s Magnus._

A warlock that could decimate an entire colony of demons with one wave of his outstretched hand and an ex-demon with bloodlust.

Hazardous and perilous.

Jonathan drew two seraph blades activating them.  The silver glowing forms drew down until the tips were even with Jonathan’s boots.  The bright glow seemed to darken Jonathan’s eyes casting them into shadow and leaving the rest of his face alight.  Then he stepped into the circle smiling in glee.

Jace felt his heartbeat pick up pace, sweat beaded along his back, hand dropping to his own seraph blade.

Magnus began chanting the required spell in a demonic language weaving his hands across the lines on the ground lighting up each section with every pass of his hands.

Jace could smell burnt flesh but if it was emitting from Jonathan he did not acknowledge it only grinned brighter.  Jace could feel a pressure building in the room as the spell finished.  Flames reaching higher and coalescing into a demon.

Jonathan did not wait for the demon to register where it had been summoned, his seraph blades were already through its chest.  Points sticking out the other side of a strange tentacled demon with leathery wings as the fire died down.

_Well that was not so bad.  Not exactly messy._

Jonathan twisted both blades drawing one down through the body as he wrenched the other sharp blade upwards and through the demons skull.  Black demon ichor flooded the floor and the body collapsed on itself it a disgusting heap.  Apparently, that was not enough Jonathan began hacking away each limb until the demon was nothing more than parts.

Nausea rose inside Jace, he forced himself to swallow it down.

_And Magnus is alright with this?_

Jace shot a glance towards Magnus who stood patiently waiting and seemed unaffected by the violence in front of him.

Jonathan stopped his insane hacking, slowly standing up covered in demonic filth.

Something about it lured a memory of Alec doing something similar ages ago now.

_Right after he ripped its heart out._

Magnus scuffed a section of the symbol on the floor and Jonathan stepped out easily.

“I will cross that one off the list.”  Magnus picked up a nearby sheaf of paper filled with demonic names, some had been crossed out already.  “Are you ok Jonathan?”  Magnus asked gently glancing at the red haired ex-demon.

Jonathan took a deep breath, letting it out in a rush.  “Never been better.  That one nearly discovered my plot to destroy the runes in Edom when you so graciously kicked Alec out of your establishment.  It proved annoying and dragging Alec across the plains was hazardous enough.”  Jonathan tore his gaze from the heap of black flesh and blood on the floor to look at Magnus.  “I’m off to get ready for Clary’s birthday party.  I do hope you attend.”  Jonathan left a stunned Jace and an unruffled Magnus in the room.

Magnus waved his hand and blue magic wrapped around the demon’s body burning it up within seconds.

“You are ok with this!?”  Jace hissed grabbing Magnus by the shoulders and nearly shaking him.

Magnus set Jace with a glare that shimmered.  “Jonathan is broken.  And if he wants to kill every demon possible than far be it from me to take that from him.”

“He is a murderer.”  Jace forcefully said.

Magnus smiled sadly.  “And so am I.”

Jace took a step away, staring at Magnus uncomprehending.  “Why?”

Magnus headed towards the kitchen, fixing himself a sandwich before responding to Jace. “Edom and the demons there cost me everything.  My magic, twice.  Losing Alexander.  I nearly threw away my memories of him when he ended our relationship to give me back my magic.  Only to lose him all over again when that stupid Nephilim decided to enter Edom alone and destroy it all, just for me.  And now he cannot see me.  That relationship is gone, again.  Lost to the winds of time and whatever you did to bring him back.”

The sheer regret and sadness in Magnus’s voice nearly had Jace opening his mouth to explain about keeping Alec’s soul safe in his own body.  Jace closed it before the words left.  It would not help.

“Do you feel anything further for him?”  Magnus voiced the question gently, it hit Jace in the chest hard squeezing his heart and lungs with the intensity.

It reminded him of the truth sword.  “Yes.” The word nearly strangled Jace.

_I’m going to die in an inferno._

Magnus scoffed to himself, pouring himself a drink muttering something Jace could not catch.  “Don’t break his heart, Jace.  He has loved you far longer than you could possibly understand.”  Magnus took a large gulp from his drink.  “Now get out of my sight before I decide to incinerate you.”

Jace left the loft before Magnus could act on that thought.  Jonathan could find his own way to Alec and Clary’s birthday party.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The world felt strange.  It looked strange.  It even smelled strange now.

Alec breathed in again, smelling only the streets of the city and fumes of the cars.  He stood across from a mundane archery business that Izzy had informed him Seelies were luring mundanes from.  Izzy had insisted that he join her on the reconnaissance of it.

He blinked.  No red washed across his vision, no pulse telling him where demons lurked in the shadows.

_It feels like I am recovering from possession._

The disoriented feelings, the strange reluctance to rejoin society pushed on his mind, the darker urge hovered at the back of his mind.  He could feel it there, waiting for when he let his guard down.

_You controlled it when it was in you.  Control it when it is gone._

The self-talk did not help his mood or lessen the desire to hunt.

_Jace would be furious if I showed up within a day with black veins again._

“Enough standing around staring at the building.  Can we please go in now?”  Izzy asked checking her silver snake bracelet over and inspecting her nails, something she usually only did when she left to a party.

Alec scanned the area again, spotting zero traces of Seelie movement.  “Yeah, I do not trust this.  It seems easy.  Where is the lure?”

Izzy rolled her eyes at her brother, muttering loudly. “I should have brought Jace.”

“Jace is not a lure.”  Alec deadpanned at his sister, unglamouring his bow and knocking an arrow before starting across the street.

Izzy grabbed his arm, a moment later her hand dropped before it clicked in his head that in that insane second he had snarled at her.

_Like an animal.  Like a demon._

Alec took a breath.  “Touch feels weird right now.”  He tried to explain to a wide-eyed Izzy.

The explanation could not even dent the confusing dichotomy of loss and relief he had felt all day.

“Just glamour the weapon.”  Izzy requested, eyes still wide as she studied her brother.  “Please.”  She added as an afterthought.

Alec glamoured the weapon but did not secure it to his back, holding the weapon invisible.  Izzy gave him an oddly worried glance.

Alec crossed the street and pushed his way into the building.  No signs of Seelie activity.

“Hey guys.”  Clary called as she jogged around the corner, pulling up short at Alec’s strange stance holding an invisible bow and arrow pointed directly at her.  Clary shook her head.  “You suck to surprise.  Happy birthday.”  Clary bluntly said.

Izzy strolled passed him, reaching out and pushing his strong arm down.  “Yeah, I honestly thought he might shoot someone if they surprised him.  Hence the text.”  Izzy explained embracing Clary in a hug.

Alec stood awkwardly still processing.  “There are no Seelies or demons to hunt are there.”  He stated flatly, reaching behind him and strapping the bow to his back sliding the arrow back into the quiver.

“Nope.”  Clary grinned taking a couple tentative steps towards him.  “Can I hug you now?  It’s a normal birthday tradition.”

Izzy steered Clary away from him.  “Alec is not feeling very touchy feely right now.”  She shot her brother a look mouthing.  _Do not fuck this up._

Clary guided them to a table where Simon, Lucian, Max, Jonathan, and surprisingly Magnus all sat wearing strange padded gear.  The table was littered in cheap bows.

“Where’s Jace?” Alec asked.

Jonathan smiled like some insane devil, teeth flashing and green eyes glinting.  “He did not appreciate my mosaic.  And he got in a fight with Magnus, so he did not get to take the free teleport.”

“Come sit by me!”  Max shouted, bouncing in his seat.  “You have to be on my team.”

Alec slid into the seat beside Max picking up each bow to test its strength.  Pathetic was the diagnosis, maybe one that held enough strength to be slightly better than the rest, he handed that one to Max.

It was not much longer before Jace showed up.

He shoved Alec over until everyone took the hint and moved enough to let Jace squeeze in next to Alec in the large circular booth.

Jace leaned over, mouth nearly brushing Alec’s ear as he whispered.  “You feel ok?  I felt something strange in the bond.”

Alec turned his head to search Jace’s heterochromia eyes, the blue and brown pinching in concern.  “It’s nothing I cannot handle.”

Jace slid am arm around Alec’s back and left it there, his hand pressed to the parabati rune at Alec’s side.

Izzy came trotting back to them followed by a couple of the businesses workers.  They explained to the group that each arrow was affixed with a sensor that when touched to their vest would award a point to the person who fired it.  Top score wins.

After that it became a flurry of movement as everyone gathered up a bow and blunt arrows before being sent into a large room set up with various tunnels, barriers, and apparatus meant to appear like trees or forts.  It was dark as requested by Izzy for extra challenge.  They all had to sign some waivers about flying objects in a darkened room for fun.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_I am going to hunt you down._

Jace kept himself low behind the current rock he was using as cover.  He had already taken out Izzy and several of the mundanes that were at the park as well.

Creeping forward he peered into the darkness, activating his night sight rune again.

_No one explicitly said no runes._

He grinned to himself spotting Max sprint from a hiding spot and dive behind another one.  Jace climbed to the top of his rocky perch, keeping himself flat to avoid being hit.  He waited.

_I hate waiting._

Jace slid to the ground silently and bolted to the rock Max had hidden behind.  No one was there.

_Damnit._

He spotted Alec across the way leap out of one of the structures turning around midair and firing a shot back into the dark.  Twisting in midair and firing another shot before he landed in a crouch.

_Someone else is using their night vision._

Jace grinned prowling forwards before movement caught his attention to the left, an arrow slammed into the ground a foot from where he lay prone.  He rolled to the side, coming up in a part kneel to find Simon staring across at him with a look of utter devastation.  Jace smiled, guessing which direction Simon would blur and let the arrow go.  It hit Simon’s side and Jace’s vest gave another beep informing him he had made a hit.

Turning around Jace froze.  Jonathan stood in the dark, head tilted down and to the side, but Jace could feel those penetrating eyes on him.  A dark smile on Jonathan’s face before he sprinted away.

Cold tendrils lashed through his body.  Breathe locking in his throat.

_Not now._

_“Who are you looking for, Jace?”_

That voice inside his head when he had been possessed, dark, scratchy, and deadly.

Jace stood in a dark room, a play room with a deadly killer, with his friends.  Fear clawed its way up his throat along with bile.

_Fuck…_

Jace spun searching for where Jonathan had gone, seeking for who was left.  That dark patch on the ground over there, was that blood?

He moved towards it, heart slamming against his ribs hard, his limbs trembled from the adrenaline.  Jace dropped his hand to his seraph blade just as the lights flickered back on and a large horn blared across the room.

His vision went white as the bright lights blinded him.

Jace blinked, deactivating his night vision rune as he struggled to force his heartrate back under control.

The patch of blood was nothing more than dark paint, large spots peeling off the pretend rock until it looked patchworked and smeared.

_Like blood._

Jace pulled in another lungful of air trying to calm his racing heart.

The game.  It was just a game.

He dazedly wandered back out into the main hall.

Alec bumped into his shoulder hard.  “You alright?  You look spooked.”

_No._

“Yes.”  Jace leaned his head against Alec’s shoulder.

Alec paused in the hallway, Jace with him.  They stayed that way for a moment.  No one else came out for a minute as they stood there silently.  Voices from the bright field behind them pulled Jace away from Alec just as Lucian and Jonathan walked through the doorway and into their line of sight.

Lucian’s deep voice rumbled down the hallway as he walked beside Jonathan.  “Just because you were taught by Valentine does not mean much.  I grew up with him.  He might be your father, but I knew him.  Trained with him.  And saw him destroy himself.”  Lucian patted Jonathan on the back.  “You were given a second chance at life.  Make sure you use it.”

Lucian caught sight of Jace and Alec before smiling at them both.  “I think one of you two won the round.  Let’s head up and take a look at the scores.”

Jace stayed near Alec while strangely Jonathan hung back.  The fact the red haired ex-demon paced behind them did nothing to help alleviate Jace’s nerves.  He kept glancing behind himself expecting to see a seraph blade raised or a metal chain swinging to wrap around his throat.

Nothing happened.

They arrived back with the rest of the group to learn that Alec had wiped out most of the mundanes in a ridiculous amount of time.  Jace was pleased to discover it was Lucian that got the drop on Jonathan.  The only reason Jace and Alec had not needed to search each other out was because the timer had run out on the game.  Grand total Alec won.

“Sort of my life’s work in there.”  Alec pointed out, wrapping an arm around Jace’s shoulders.  “You came in second.”  He informed Jace with a small smile, brown eyes alight.

Jace found himself dangerously close to Alec, frayed nerves not helping his spinning thoughts.

“Jace!”  Max yelled.

Jace pulled himself away from the body he was beginning to realize he desperately needed in his life.  Permanently in any way possible.  Just so long as their souls remained locked.

“I got Magnus!  Best warlock in New York and I got him.  Nailed him with an arrow right in the butt!”  Max yelled increasingly louder as he charged out of their designated room with the large booth back to the score boards they had been viewing.

Jace scooped Max up when he hit him spinning around holding him aloft for a moment before setting the boy back on his feet.  “That’s great!”  Jace laughed.

His joy died the moment he stepped back into their room and he spied Jonathan sitting there talking to Clary.

_Murderer._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The art gala would have been mildly interesting if Jace did not spend half his attention staring daggers at Jonathan.

Alec leaned into Jace.  “Are you ok?”  Alec whispered to Jace.  “You keep staring at Jonathan.”

Jace caught Alec rub at his arm out of the corner of his eye.

_Guess that itch has already started again._

“I know I said before I would try and understand why you two are friends, but come on Alec.  The guy is a mass murderer.”  Jace stated, jerking his head towards where Jonathan, Clary and Simon walked flitting from one painting to the next.

“Jonathan also saved my life.  Come to think of it, yours too.”  Alec responded wandering over to a random painting and pretending to be interested in it.

Jace could see he had zero interest in art.  Alec’s always practical, rational mind unable to let go long enough to truly view the art.

“One mission does not excuse him from what he did.  He killed all those mundanes on it.” Jace pointed out, crossing his arms and staring at the random painting of clashing swirling colors.

_This was art?  It is just a bunch of colors splashed on the page.  I could have done this.  Abstract._

Jace preferred Clary’s still life drawings a bit more than random assorted colors.  He grimaced to himself when he remembered the lost work she had given him burned up in a chemical bath of fire.

Alec turned to Jace, hands clasped behind his back.  “I killed those mundanes.”  Alec stated flatly, body tense.  “I killed that coven of vampires, killed the mundanes they had trapped, killed the shadowhunters-“  Alec’s voice broke off on a harsh inhale.

Time stopped.

_I just called him a murderer._

Jace felt his jaw fall a bit, eyes going wide as he turned his head to stare at Alec.  “Why?”

“Because their blood left alive would have made that rift open much larger than when they were dead.  I already knew the first two plans had failed.  All I had left was Magnus.  If he fell we would not have had a world.  Jonathan put my blood on that symbol so I could control it if Magnus slipped.”  Alec said softly, moving to another painting as an elderly couple came up to view the artwork they were currently standing before.

Jace felt his heart clench painfully in his chest, a sharp feeling behind his eyes.

He would have lost Alec to that dark power on a mission.  Voluntarily.  Again.

Jace grabbed Alec’s arm.  “So you sacrificed yourself?  Do you want to die?”  Jace hissed back attempting to be quiet, but based on the look Simon shot them from across the room he was failing.

_Damn vampire hearing._

“Yes.  If it kept _you_ alive.” Alec snapped forcefully causing some people to shush at them.

Jace’s breath froze.

Clary wandered over to them quickly, Simon trailing behind saying something to her.  “Everything alright here?”  Clary questioned looking between the two of them.  “It is an art gala, I would rather not get kicked out within the first hour from whatever petty argument you two have now.”

Jace jolted scanning the room for Jonathan.  He was alone staring at a family with two young children, a boy and a girl, both children were playing a game of tag near a priceless statue and the parents were desperately trying to rein them in.

“Um…Clary, I really think we should just leave them to discuss their battle strategies.”  Simon pleaded nervously, eyes darting between Jace and Alec and Clary.

_Thanks for the attempt, Simon._

He would need to thank the vampire somehow later.

Clary put her hands on her hips, tossing her head and leaning back in her trademark Clary spitfire about to be unleashed fashion.

Jace caught Alec roll his dark eyes up to the ceiling.

_Well, fuck._

“Seriously, you are doing work on your birthday?  I am leaving in a couple weeks with Lucian thanks to your orders and you cannot put work on hold for one night.  Still that desperate to get rid of me?”  Clary bit out harshly at Alec.

Alec slid into his head of the institute persona in a blink, voice hard and commanding.  “Your family needs to fix what it broke.  You need to wake up and take responsibility for your actions and part of that is formal training.”

Clary scoffed, waving a hand at Alec.  “And you?  You are not even the head of the institute anymore because of your actions.  Admit it, you have been off since you blew up Edom.”

“That’s enough.”  Jace said stepping between them.  “We’ll leave.  We can meet you at whatever Izzy has planned for us next.”

If anything Clary’s anger turned sharper, burning as she leveled her gaze on Jace.  “I feel sorry for the girl you do settle down with.  You cannot pull yourself away from your parabati enough to have a normal healthy relationship.”  She looked about to cry.  Clearly it had been something she had held back when they originally broke up and Jace had thought they were mostly on decent ground since then.

_Obviously not.  Damnit, there goes the waterworks._

“Clary.”  Jace pleaded for her to understand.

“Well, he does have a relationship.  It’s Alec.”  Simon interjected without a hint of remorse or vindictiveness, he still appeared ready to bolt.

Clary shot Simon an irritated glare, through her shimmering tears.  “Simon, you are my best friend.  You can figure out how to balance life while dating Izzy.”  She pointed at Jace.  “But Jace here cannot.”

Jace clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth.  He knew he had not exactly spent any time with Clary since their breakup outside of the training room and frankly it had been a relief.

Jace drew himself into his usual crossed armed dominant stance.  “Listen, I broke up with you.  I’m sorry you have not let go entirely, but I could not keep pretending I was fine with you.”  Jace growled, glancing around for Jonathan again.  He was located by some statue talking to Lucian and Magnus.  “Come on Alec.  Let’s go hunting.” Jace grabbed Alec’s arm.

They made it to the main hallway into the gala when Alec wrenched away.  “I do not think hunting would be wise.”  He said, not meeting Jace’s eyes.

_“Do you want a report on the fucking cavern you just removed from my blood?”_

Alec’s words said before that demon mission.  Words Jace had handled so poorly.

“Right.”  Jace bit his lip wracking his brain for another idea than their usual fallback.  “Well, then let’s head back to the hotel and dig through the cheap wine they left in the hotel or hit up the gym there.  Bet I can still beat you on pullups.”

Alec rewarded him with a slight smile at the pullup idea.

“Jace!”  Clary called out hurrying to catch up to them.  “Can we talk?”

Alec squeezed his shoulder once before leaving the two of them.

Jace yanked him back firmly.  “You are not leaving my sight.  Not after everything.”  Alec’s dark gaze swung into Jace like a punch.  For half a second Jace thought Alec would kiss him, igniting the heat that simmered beneath his skin.  “Whatever Clary needs to say she can do it with you here.”  Jace managed to hoarsely get out the rest of his thought.

Clary appeared slightly taken aback.  “What is going on with you two?”  She asked slightly wary and staring at Jace.

Alec answered, crossing his arms pitching his voice into his usual exacting command.  “We are parabati, the bond has been strained since Edom.  Truthfully, I am surprised it still exists.”  He shrugged one shoulder.  “It has not been entirely normal, we’ve been trying to fix it.”

Truth wrapped in a lie.  Or a lie wrapped in a truth.  With everything that lay between them, which side did it really fall on.

Clary’s eyes flickered across Jace’s face frowning slightly.  “Is there anything I can do to help?  I was considering asking Izzy to be my parabati.  If there is some issue you two are going through, I would like to know.”  Clary finally looked at Alec.  “Alec?”

“Don’t.”  Alec told her, before turning and walking away.

Jace activated his runes with a thought, it was becoming increasingly easy, aware his eyes would turn gold and shoved his demand for Alec to stay put towards him.

Alec froze back going rigid.  “Jace…”  A deadly warning.

Jace smirked.  “Stop sneaking away.”  Alec turned around to send him a glare.  “I will send something else you won’t like if you try again.”  Jace found himself grinning at the small upturn at the corner of Alec’s mouth.

Clary watched them confused, eyes narrowing.  “Can a parabati bond change?”  She asked.

Alec remained where he stood, so Jace felt confident enough to answer her.  “Death, heavenly fire, being changed into a downworlder.”

_Eros.  And whatever the hell we have done to it._

“All things that have happened to you, for the most part.”  Clary said softly before her green eyes snapped to Jace, reaching out her hand.  “Jace, your angel blood.”

“Clary.”  Alec cut across her rant.  “Do not become parabati with Izzy.  Take your mission to the Shadowhunter academy.  Learn what you need and teach them what you know.  Then you come back here.”  Alec glanced towards the door to outside.  “Go back inside Clary.  Enjoy your fun.  Your freedom is on a timer.”

Jace slid his arm around Alec pulling him to his side, ignoring the raised eyebrows of Clary as she turned to go back to the Gala and the others.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

They had worked out in the hotel gym coming up with ridiculous competitions to see who was stronger.  It had helped keep Alec’s mind from wandering to the opposite feelings of ache and relief his body and blood felt.  Alec had forgotten the actual score but knew it remained close to even when Izzy had called them on his phone to come down to dinner and not be smelly and sweaty.

Two quick showers and a childish race to the dining hall that Jace won only for Alec to nearly slam into him left them both chuckling as the frowning attendant ushered them to their seats with everyone else seated at the extravagant round table the gala had set up for the various visitors.

“Nice to see you two smiling for a change.”  Lucian said as they sat down trying to smooth out the laughter from the race through the twisting halls.

“I won.”  Jace declared.  “Alec needs to work on his cardio.”

_You won by one foot._

“You lost to half the upper body strength tests.”  Alec pointed out grabbing the water pitcher to pour himself some.

Jace threw him a cocky grin.  “Exactly.  I won half the upper body tests.”

“Should I ask in what context these tests are being held?”  Magnus smugly asked from his seat, raised eyebrow studying Alec intently.

Alec glanced at Magnus before it clicked, flushing a dark red.  “The gym.  We did not want to risk getting everyone kicked out of the art gala so we went to the hotels gym.”  He explained staring resolutely at his plate.

He did not want to look at those glittery eyes that he used to care for.  A future destroyed in a flash and replaced with something he thought could never be possible.

Alec’s gaze strayed towards Jace.  His blond hair shining slightly in the restaurants lights, the strong jawline.

Magnus took a sip of his drink, clearly checking Alec out from across the table before his eyes widened.  “Remove the jacket, Alexander.”  Magnus’s lips quirked up slightly, gesturing his arm in Alec’s direction.

Alec snapped his gaze from his plate to Magnus.  The glamour was back he realized, he could not see the golden cat-eyes as easily as he once had.

Jace yelled. “Hell no!  This is supposed to be a classy place.”

“You know what a classy place is?”  Simon grinned across the table at Jace.

Lucian chuckled, slapping Magnus on the back saying. “Try and date the guy again first Magnus.”

“I’m not stripping for you Magnus.”  Alec stated, rolling his shoulder.  “But yes, the power in my veins was removed.”

“That explains so much.”  Simon said, leaning back in his chair, at Izzy’s silent reproachful and confused look beside him Simon added.  “What?  He does not stink anymore.”

Alec glanced over at the vampire at the comment but refrained from responding.

Max giggled from where he sat between Jace and Izzy.

“Catch.”  Jonathan told Clary tossing her a poorly wrapped gift, before throwing something unwrapped, hard, silver, and metal at Alec.

Catching it, Alec realized the object in his hands was the same canteen as the one Jonathan had carried in Edom.  He felt a tug at the corner of his lips turn up at the ex-demon.  “Are there runes inside that might kill me?”  He joked cynically, feeling Jace shift by him.

“No.  Although I think it has some holes in it now.  Consider it a memorial.  It was serving as a paperweight in my room anyway.”  Jonathan explained watching Clary as she carefully unwrapped her gift that consisted predominantly of tape and what looked like plain white printing paper.

After resorting to her knife under her dress Clary managed to cut the tape away enough to reveal the present.  A frame with presumably a picture in it, Alec guessed.

Clary started tearing up though.

Jonathan looked like he regretted giving her the gift instantly.

“It’s beautiful.”  Clary whispered.  “Thank you.”  She cradled the gift to her chest before showing it to Lucian and Simon on either side of her.

The food arrived shortly thereafter and Alec found that for the first time in months he had an appetite to actually finish his plate.

It was during dessert that Lucian broached the subject Alec had secretly dreaded being voiced.

“How did the power get removed from your arm?  Maryse and I have been studying all sorts of tomes in our free time searching for a way to pull that last stain off you.”  Lucian casually broached the topic, hands spread across the table.

Alec exchanged a loaded glance with Jace.  Their bond pulsed and hummed acknowledging the exchange without words, easing some of the confusion that remained inside Alec.

“Blood, sweat, and tears.”  Alec evaded the true answer, sliding the untouched dessert to Jace who passed it down to an awaiting Max who snatched it eagerly.

Lucian sensed he would not get a complete answer with so many people at the table, if ever, and wrapped his arm around Clary beside him.  “Well, I have to hand it to you Clary.  This group of friends you found, together has made you all the most formidable shadowhunters in this generation.”  He nodded his head towards Alec.  “I do hope Maryse returns your role as Head of the Institute, the work you were doing both Lydia and Maryse have continued to promote but it does not have the same driving force behind it anymore.  They are going to need you.”

Alec snatched at the opening to drive the conversation away from the power infusion that had sat in his blood for so long.

“I intend to use Jonathan as a driving force behind some of my next requests and changes to the Clave.”  Alec waved a hand slightly towards Jonathan who merely smiled indulgently.  “All he has to do is not get himself killed and not kill anything without prior approval.  There are several psychological and medical exams he still needs to pass and if I can ever acquire a psychologist that is willing to work with him, but thus far I think I am on the right track.  I have been reviewing the entirety of the accords when I can and have been changing parts.  When it is complete I will be sending the revisions to your praetor leader, along with the other downworlder leaders.”  He glanced away from Lucian to look at Magnus.

All work he had rarely touched since Edom’s infection had taken hold.  Awareness of how far behind he was on that track threatened to consume him for a moment.  Unfortunately, that brought back the old desire to plunge his arm into ichor, which had relieved so much stress, bringing with it the blissful power.

Jace reached out squeezing his wrist.

Blazing white ripped through his thoughts removing the idea of the ichor, leaving behind a slowly beating warmth.

_Jace._

The startling blue and brown in Jace’s eyes held him captive.  The heat he could sense just a touch away was maddening.

_This is consuming me._

Something hit Jace.  Jace cut his gaze away breaking their connection, inhaling through his teeth as he looked across the table.  “Please tell me the next stop involves alcohol.”  Jace said.

_Huh?_

Alec scrambled to gather his frayed thoughts.

_And that was from a look._

Izzy smiled.  “Mmmm.  Nope.  But Magnus gets to see Alec strip.”  Cocking her head to the side as her smile broadened into devilish.

“Excuse me.”  Alec panicked, there was no other explanation.  Sheer panic.

“Oh come on.  It will not be that terrible.”  Izzy snickered digging into her purse.  “I even brought a special present for you in case you try to escape.”  She held up silver linked cuffs handing them to Jace across the table.

“You move.  You die.”  Alec snarled at Jace, pushing away from the table to give himself ample room to bolt.

Jace twirled the handcuffs, smirking.  “Don’t leave and ruin all Izzy’s hard work to make this evening special for you and Clary.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_This should be filed under a branch of inhumane torture._

Izzy had managed to convince most everyone to tag along to the body painting.  Lucian had stated he was old and needed to go home taking Max with him along with the rest of the presents that had been doled out.  Magnus had dipped out as well with a strained goodbye towards Alec.

Jace silently mourned not being able to go with them, but now that Izzy had managed to do the impossible.  Jace was not complaining.

Jace did not want to know how she managed to convince Alec to strip out of his shirt and sit on the stool in just his black jeans.  But his parabati sat there staring daggers at his sister, as if he glared at her enough she might remove whatever blackmail she held over his head.

Izzy practically skipped, black hair flying behind her, over to Simon dragging him to another stool.  “Sit and lose the shirt.  I get to paint you.” She announced happily.

“Man, I want to know what blackmail you are holding over Alec’s head for this.”  Simon said as he stripped out of his Marvel shirt that lay underneath the classy blazer.

Alec’s glare followed Izzy across the room.  “Oh, nothing horrible.”  She smiled at Alec knowingly.  “But sisters know things.  I have a lifetime of blackmail to pull from.”  Izzy responded brightly, practically skipping over to Jace before steering him towards Alec.

_No.  Just no._

Izzy handed him some paintbrushes.

_Oh thank the Angel._

Relief flooded him when he realized he did not need to undergo the torture of being painted on.

“Could switch.”  Alec growled at Jace, glowering up at him from the stool. 

Jace twirled the paintbrushes through his fingers enjoying the feeling and figuring out their balance.  “And save you from this torture?  No, thanks.  I think I’ll keep you right there.  Not often anyone manages to pull you this far out of your comfort zone.”

Jace could practically see the rational self-control waning in favor of heated embarrassment.

_He might not flaunt often, but he certainly has never been shy about his body. Why are you uncomfortable?_

Jonathan stood inspecting the paints, but steered clear of Izzy in case she tried dragging him to a stool.

“It really has been removed then.”  Clary said waving her arm towards Alec’s form where his naked skin showed no remnant of the darkness that lived inside him.

Alec clenched his fist at his side, taking a breath and forced his hand to relax.

Jace reached out sliding his hand down Alec’s arm and back up in the familiar gesture, watching as Alec’s eyes fell closed from the motion.

“Come here Jonathan.  Clary gets to paint you.”  Izzy called dragging another stool over, Alec jolted eyes opening.  “I was going to stick you with Alec but seeing as Jace and Clary are no longer together.  I thought it might be uncomfortable.  Now get over here.”

Jace watched as Alec smiled vindictively at Jonathan who wandered over before dropping himself on the stool as ordered.

“Can’t say we had casual painting in Edom.  More of a bloody massacre.”  Jonathan stated tossing his shirt to the side exposing the unscarred skin, filled with shadowhunter runes rather than the demonic ones he had etched on his chest a couple months ago.

Jace sent him a look that screamed “must you.”

The lady in charge of the studio came in wheeling a large cart filled with paints, mixing pads, and some rags.  The floor had already been covered in a tarp long before they had ever arrived.

Izzy danced over to her brother for a moment, squeezing his shoulders.  “Relax.  It is paint.  It won’t kill you.”  She ruffled his hair, Alec immediately batted her away.  “It’s your birthday, a bit early.  You are supposed to be having fun.”  Izzy smiled down at her brother, before leaning down and giving him a tight hug.

Surprisingly Alec hugged her back, Jace could hear Izzy’s soft hiccup at the action before she pulled away wiping at her eyes once and moved over to Clary to repeat her birthday wishes.

The lady in charge, a stout woman with long flowing hair explained to them about various brush strokes that Jace barely heard.  Clary had already started with the base on Jonathan a dark blue color while she listened.

Jace smeared some gold paint across Alec’s arm, earning him a shiver from Alec as the cold paint touched his skin.

A soft smile formed across his mouth as he drew more paint along Alec’s arm covering the skin along his veins in gold.

_Stay with me._

Jace was vaguely aware of Simon and Izzy speaking near them but could not pull himself out of the sudden trance tracing Alec’s veins in gold had induced in him.  He found himself drawing the various runes in gold, barely aware of the steady gaze Alec had leveled him with.  He slid his hand along Alec’s neck, drawing the paint down and pushing it along his skin towards the parabati rune.

Alec stopped his hand from touching the pulsing rune on his side.

Their gazes met, blue brown heterochromia against dark eyes.

Jace’s hand hovered an inch from the parabati rune, pulse beating loudly through his body.

Laughter from Izzy and Simon broke him out of his trance.

What were they doing?  Jace had wanted to ignite that rune in passion, burning them both up.

Jace watched as Alec swallowed, body locked tight under Jace’s hand restraining himself in corded unmoving muscles.

“Alec!”  Jonathan’s voice called from his spot on the other side of Simon and Izzy.  “What was that philosophical notion you tried implanting in my head when I was dragging your ass through the bowels of Edom?”

Jace dropped his hand away, the same moment Alec released him, picking up the paintbrush again and swiping a gold streak across Alec’s shoulder in silent retaliation.

Alec slowly pulled his gaze away from Jace to turn towards Jonathan.  “We make our own heaven and our own hell.”  Alec intoned, gold paint shimmering along his arm and side.

“Yes.  That.”  Jonathan turned back to Clary holding her hands.  “I took his word for it.  This place will be my heaven because you are in it Clary.  You leaving for the Shadowhunter Academy does not mean it will stop being a refuge and considering I have died, two, three…enough times now.”

Clary appeared stricken, chin going up in defiance of his words.

“I do not fear death.”  Jonathan informed her.

Clary gave a small squeak of a word, shaking her head violently back and forth.

“You do.”  Alec said turning and staring at Jace, his gaze unwavering.  “If you did not you never would have survived.  That was your choice, not mine.”

Jace held that gaze unsure who Alec was speaking to, himself or Jonathan.

Simon clapped his hands together, some bright purple and florescent green flying from his hands.  “As much as I love deep philosophical discussions of damnation this is a birthday celebration not a morgue.”  Simon admonished them.  “Since Clary, Izzy, and Jace need to finish their Picasso paintings on us I suggest we play Truth or Dare or share some embarrassing teen moments.”  Suggested Simon.

_Another mundane game._

“Don’t poison me.”  Jace warned waving the paintbrush towards Simon with enough force to splatter a few drops of gold on him.

_Stupid fucking sugary death game._

“Hey that’s my work you are destroying!”  Izzy said smacking Jace’s arm away.

Simon chuckled.  “I did not poison you.  It was one single jelly bean.”  Simon glanced over at Jace attempting and failing to retain a massive grin.  “Ok, that might have been the worst flavor I could find that was not puke.”  He informed Jace.  “But trust me.  No one will be poisoned this time.”

_Not trusting any mundane game now._

“All the games Clary has introduced me to have been mildly interesting.  Start with one that you suggested.”  Jonathan said lifting his chin up as Clary painted his neck with a smaller brush placing white specks that she feathered out along his collar bone.

“Not truth or dare.  I think we all need to be severely drunk for that one.  Go with the other one.”  Izzy told Simon.  She had managed to coat him in a multitude of colors, mostly green, purple, and blue in some strange pattern that Jace guessed was supposed to be vines or fire.  He really was uncertain.

Jace grabbed a different color paint ensuring Jonathan had not moved from his stool, any more gold on Alec and he would have a past dream that had stuck with him before him.

“You put that on me, you die.” Alec hissed sharply.

Jace paused glancing down at the color he had grabbed.  Pink.  He slowly looked back up at Alec, smirking.

“Jace…”  Alec warned already half off the stool prepared to bolt.

Jace weighed his options, flick bright pink paint at his parabati and watch the violence unleash or try and keep the peace long enough for Simon to finish his mundane game.

“So we’ll do some random growing up moments.”  Simon said lifting an arm for Izzy to continue painting but her gaze was on Jace and Alec at the moment.  “First question to everyone.  Worst awkward moment growing up.”

“Are there teams?  Because Jace is not allowed on mine until he puts that down.”  Alec said eyeing the pink container like it was a live bomb set to explode the moment Jace tossed it, hand moving to draw his stele out to activate his speed rune.

_There went my fun._

Jace set the pink paint down.  “Relax.”  His lips turned upward in a smile.  “And I do not have any awkward moments, I was always this hot.”  Jace waved his arms at himself.

Simon gapped at Jace.   “Seriously?  I said awkward moment not if you were this egotistical.”

Jace could see Clary roll her eyes at him.

Jace raised an eyebrow at Simon, choosing a darker color paint and flicking some of it at Alec.  It landed on his chest and abdominal muscles without Alec bolting.  “I figured they went hand in hand.  Can’t have any awkward moments if everyone is falling at your feet.”

“No one falls at your feet.”  Alec said flatly moving back to sit comfortably on the stool.

“You’re right.  It’s more of a beg and moan.”  Jace grinned at Alec reining in his smolder after a moment.

Simon huffed in annoyance.  “Anyone else?”

Izzy slathered green along Simon’s back with one of the paintbrushes.  “I heard the door fall off the hinges in Jace’s room once.  I thought he was having sex, loudly.  You could hear them halfway down the hallway.  When I shouted through the door to tell him to keep it down, it ended up just being him and a girl wrestling on the floor that got out of control.”  She looked over at Jace.  “Even though it was innocent I still felt awkward from the sheer noises you two were making.”  Izzy brushed another speck of paint on Simon and glanced over at Clary.  “That was long before your time.”

“Mine would have to be when Lilith introduced me to the Seelie Queen only to realize I had already slept with her.  Mother never found out, but considering it was supposed to be a big deal to meet the Seelie queen for the first time.  A bit awkward.”  Jonathan informed them.

“Wow.”  Simon said awkwardly shifting away from Jonathan.  “I mean she was like super evil.  And young.  I mean like kid looking young.”

“Simon, the Seelie queen could change her form and the appearance of her age at will.”  Alec informed him, eyes closed now as Jace painted random swirls along his chest and back, falling back into the strange rhythm he had found before.

“That’s…um…not comforting.”  Simon said.  “So what’s your awkward moment, Alec?”

Alec cracked his eyes open to look over at Simon.  “Probably when I had to slaughter five demons in a mundanes house and these two teenagers were having sex the entire time in the room, oblivious to the demons around them.  I think I was about fourteen at the time.”

“Oh, I remember that patrol.  You were bright red for hours.”  Izzy laughed in reminiscence.  “Jace kept pestering you for details for a week.”

Alec glanced up at Jace who still wielded the paintbrush.  “I’m still not telling you what I saw.  I was busy killing demons anyway.  Rather difficult to pay attention to that with five sets of teeth trying to tear you apart.  If I remember correctly you were outside with Izzy dispatching the succubus.”

“I want to hear the rest of these stories now.”  Clary said having now covered Jonathan in enough paint he looked like a galaxy of stars painted along his back and chest in whites, blues, and purples.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 


	7. Dark Stained Soul Ch 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff and things. Bow to the insanity and read it.

**Dark Stained Soul**

Chapter Seven

By: Evey

 

The strange mundane game Simon had introduced them ended up breaking Jace out of his frayed nerves towards Jonathan and whatever trance painting Alec kept inducing in him.  They had all shared stories for hours after the painting had been completed and washed away.

Clary and Jonathan had vanished to go check out the other rooms declaring they would commandeer the best room in the suite Izzy had booked them.  Considering all the white and grey in the current room they sat in Jace could not blame them.  Colors were not a big deal but this was a bit much in the fancy department.  Jace silently thanked himself for having already seized the furthest room when he and Alec needed to run through for showers before dinner.

Apparently Izzy had managed to book the Royal Suite using Alec and Maryse’s ties as Head of the Institute.  Or their money.

Which meant Jace now had Alec and Izzy all to himself.

A slurping sound came from the bed Izzy would be using that night.

_And Simon._

Jace smacked his blond head back on the ornate grey couch he currently remained sprawled across vaguely twirling his stele.

“Sorry.  You guys all got to eat dinner already.  I had to pick at it.”  Simon apologized with a small shrug.

Jace glanced over at the vampire between half closed eyes.  Izzy and Alec were gone gathering ice for drinks.  He sighed sitting up on the couch in the hotel room to look properly at the brown haired vampire.

“Simon.  What you heard during the gala…”  Jace trailed off unsure how to proceed through this.

Simon waved him off.  “That Alec killed a bunch of people.  You guys are shadowhunters, killing is sort of your job.  I drink blood for a living.”  Simon glanced away sipping his drink with a faraway look.  “I don’t ever want to kill someone but the few missions I have been on and seeing some of the other Shadowhunters injured when they returned from a mission.  I cannot fault Alec for making the hard decision to keep that rift from opening.”  Simon gave him a strange look.  “And let’s face it, Alec would do anything to protect the people he cares about.”

_You don’t understand the whole picture._

It should not be this easy.

Jace scowled at the vampire’s ease of acceptance towards what Alec had admitted.  “Aren’t you usually against all the violence?”  Jace asked.  “Isn’t that part of your religion you had before Clary fucked up your life.”

Simon chuckled getting up and placing the used blood packet in an opaque plastic bag and sealed it shut before dropping it in the trash can.  “You really are over her, huh.  And yeah its part of my religion but you know I’m a vampire.  Kind of makes my outlook on life a bit different.” 

Alec pushed open the door carrying a bag of ice along with Izzy.

“Drinks can begin!”  Izzy called loudly pointing towards the mini fridge for Alec to toss the ice in.

Alec opened up the fridge to toss the ice inside.  “Izzy I’m going to go and get some decent alcohol for this as well as something for Simon.  Not…this.”  Alec said holding up the cheap wine the hotel provided.

Jace was off the couch hand wrapped around Alec’s wrist before he realized he moved.  “No.”

_Damnit, my voice just cracked._

The fear punched his gut a second later.

_I’m not losing you this time._

“It’s just alcohol Jace.  And considering Magnus actually taught me something about it, I think I can make a decent decision regarding it.”  Alec said closing the fridge and standing up.

An excuse.  A lie.  Jace knew better, had seen the signs.

_I’m not enough._

Some distant part of Jace had always known Alec would need more than just Jace to quell the scars Edom had left on him.  The damnable craving. 

“No.”  Jace shook his head.  “I saw you at the gala.  It’s already started you aren’t leaving.”

Alec’s face twisted in a flash before smoothing out into that deadly calm.

Jace tightened his grip.

Jace could sense Simon and Izzy giving them bewildered looks.

“Jace I’m not hunting for that.”  Jace could feel the tremble in his arm regardless.  “It’s a trip down the street.  You know that.”  Alec said softly not quite meeting his gaze.

“Fucking hell I do.  When Edom blasted its power through you it burned you alive.  You buried your soul inside me!  For weeks!  And I’m sick of chasing you down right now.”  Jace finished his rant a bare breath away from Alec.

A swear from Izzy somewhere in the room, Jace did not care.

“Does nothing between us mean anything to you?”  Jace questioned softer.

Alec swallowed, dark eyes unwavering from Jace’s gaze.  “It means everything.”  Alec brought his trembling hand up to slide along Jace’s neck.

“Then say it again.  What you said during the thunderstorm.”  Jace clarified.

Alec stopped breathing for a moment, eyes going wide.  “You heard that?”  Alec asked so softly that Jace could barely hear it and he stood less than a breath from him.

“Yes.  Say it again.”  Jace repeated, holding Alec’s dark gaze with his own.

“Guys?”  Simon asked cautiously, clearly confused and wary from wherever he remained in the room.

Jace ignored him.  “Say it again.”  Jace intoned.

Alec stared at him wide eyed, breath locked in his throat.

“Say it again.” Jace reiterated desperately.

Izzy interrupted with pure anger in her voice now.  “You had two souls inside you the entire time he was in that cell!  For how long afterwards!?”  Izzy shrieked marching towards them.

_Oh fuck.  Only the silent brother knew about that._

Izzy knew Jace had done something with the parabati bond to heal Alec enough to not be taken by the Silent Brotherhood but neither had ever clarified exactly what that entailed, aside from the fact she knew it involved sex.

“Not so loud, Izzy.”  Alec groaned rubbing his head.

_Right, the withdrawal, craving, whatever it was Alec was going through._

Jace dodged Izzy’s hit towards his head, yanked Alec’s shirt up enough to press his hand against the parabati rune.  Heat flared against his hand and Alec dropped his head forward onto Jace’s shoulder.

“Yeah.  Don’t worry about it.  Brother Zachariah already knows.  And Alec has his soul back now anyway.”  Jace informed Izzy, while Alec rested his head against his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it!?”  Izzy’s voice grew sharper and louder.  “I thought this was fixed weeks, months ago.  Magnus said his soul was broken.  I thought, I thought after that one time he was mended enough to live a somewhat normal life.”  She jabbed her finger at the two of them.  “And you two need to start telling me what is going on.”

“Izzy.  Stop.”  Alec pulled away from Jace but only to move to collapse into a seated position on the couch.  “Yes.  Edom eviscerated my soul or whatever bit I left behind when I fled to Jace.”  He ran his hands through his dark hair, tugging slightly.  “It has proven difficult to remain untainted.”  Alec allowed.

Izzy walked over to her brother sitting down next to him.  “You said it worked and I’ve seen you, you aren’t crazy.” She said wrapping an arm around him.

“Remember when he told us how he rips the demons heart out for their power.  That.”  Jace supplied crossing his arms before him a bit calmer now that Alec was not actively trying to leave.

“I think I’m going to go buy that alcohol for us.  Let you guys talk.  I’ll grab Clary and Jonathan for the trip too.”  Simon briskly announced before high tailing it out of the room and further into the suite for his task.

Alec scrubbed at his face.  “May as well tell her everything then.”  Alec said glancing at Jace for confirmation.

“Yeah.”  Jace agreed.

_Not everything._

Izzy wandered over to the fridge cracking open the small bottle of cheap wine and taking a swig.  “Alright.  Hit me.”  She said.

“That chrysalis, the taint from Edom, imbued power into my veins.  I made that chrysalis.  It’s why I could control it.  Closing the rift in the sky was not as simple, the power there did not respond the same.  It was why my runes stopped working.”  Alec took a breath, glancing at Jace.  “We accidentally found a way to circumvent the power from sinking in further.”

Jace shot him an incredulous look for that explanation.  “How about you are an idiot and won’t just come to me and instead chose that fucking dark power over your parabati.”

Izzy drained more of her small bottle of wine, setting it down before beginning the questions.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Simon had called an hour later asking if it was safe to come back or not because Clary and Jonathan were growing suspicious about Simon’s awkward excuses to drag out the shopping trip.

Jace sat with the others as they discussed some game Simon wanted them to try, but Jace could not pull his attention into it.  Alec pressed to his side, shoulder to shoulder, legs touching.

_“Don’t underestimate the lure of darkness.  It keeps pulling me away.”_

_“Don’t say that.  Because in that darkness you reached out towards Jace.  Your soul.  Your other half.  And when you found each other in that darkness you two were never alone.”_

_“Can’t you see the only reason Jace is not infected is because of Magnus’s soul charm?”_

_“No.  I see that you cared enough to use something considered evil to protect us.”_

Alec had always been the one of the three of them to view his duty as nothing more than a pawn, a servant to the greater cause to annihilate demons.  Alec’s explanation about the demon mission to close the rift and essentially using himself as a conduit when everything else failed still made Jace’s stomach turn over and a cold sweat to form along his neck.  No wonder Alec had not placed them on the same squad.  Jace had thought the servant mentality had changed when Alec found Magnus, obviously not enough.

_“Izzy, you have no idea what messed up paths my thoughts travel in my head right now.”_

Jace shifted his thigh against Alec’s, glancing across at Izzy.

_I should have brought her in a long time ago.  It would have made this much easier._

Izzy’s enlightened comments as well as her sibling requirement to help had hit Alec hard.  Neither had informed her of the blazing heat that simmered between them every time they stood in a room together.  Izzy knowing once and suspecting twice was enough for Jace, the rest was too personal.  She had also been beyond pissed that Alec had held so much back from her about the infection since his release from the cell months ago.

_“Look at yourself.  You are being stubborn not admitting you need help.  You told me once to come to you if I needed help.  That goes both ways, Alec.”_

The infection was out, now all Jace needed to do was figure out how to keep Alec that way.

_Again.  Something is missing, that I cannot figure out._

Jace reached out towards the bond feeling the warmth in it, it beat calmly for the moment.

“Jace, it’s your turn.”  Simon said.

_Damnit, what game are we even playing again._

Jace cast an expectant glance towards Alec in the hopes he could discern a hint of whatever the hell he was supposed to be responding to.

Unfortunately, Alec seemed to be in a similar state as Jace, eyes unfocused, staring blankly forward lost in his thoughts and did not even register Jace looking at him.

“Unbelievable.  You can’t be that bored in two of my games.  You fell asleep the one time.”  Simon grumbled, shoving the shot glass across the small table towards Jace.  “You fail, drink up.”

“Jonathan’s truth question to you was “What was the most disgusting thing you have witnessed as a shadowhunter?” Clary clarified, swirling her drink around in her cup waiting, a tension in her shoulders as she studied Jace.

Jace tossed the drink back and smiled at the question.  “Jonathan butchering that demon this afternoon.  He looked like he wanted to play in its entrails.”  He taunted the ex-demon across the table from him.

Clary gave Jace a revolted look.

_He did.  You just want to see good in him, you cannot see passed that to the reality of his insanity._

Jace held the comment back, the conversation with Izzy and Alec already drained him.  He did not want to raise an argument with Clary.

Jonathan appeared ecstatic at the comment, a large jeering smile forming.  “I was hoping I could make you puke.  Pity you did not.”

“Jonathan.”  Alec said unmoving from his spot and not changing his gaze.

Jonathan huffed.  “Yes, pure one.  I’ll be nice and gentle with your parabati.”

Izzy raised an eyebrow at the comment.

“So where did that nickname come from anyway?”  Clary asked, glancing at her brother beside her, red hair falling over her shoulder concealing part of her face.

At least she was not staring at Jace again as she had been doing off and on most of the evening since they all arrived in the hotel suite together.

Jonathan shrugged.  “It fit the dichotomy of his sins.”

Something in the way Jonathan phrased that dragged across Jace’s skull.

Alec leveled his gaze on Jonathan, eyes zeroing in on the ex-demon.  “Those demons of yours remain just as dangerous.”  Alec said without inflection standing up from the couch leaving Jace suddenly feeling cold from the lack of warmth pressed against him.  “Izzy, let’s go get more ice.”

They did not require more ice but Izzy stood twisting her snake bracelet around her wrist to go with her brother.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O –   O – O

 

New York sprawled out before them.  The bright flickering lights below and the more muted static lights of the various buildings stretched out in front of Alec.  The lights cast a glow upon the night sky bouncing the cities light back down to shine faintly against the darkness.

_But I want that darkness…_

Alec traced his eyes along the skyline until it blurred from its faint glow to an obscure darkness.

_Obscure like the dream I want to remain in.  A dream that keeps the darkness out._

Alec closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

He heard Izzy shift behind him in the study, the furthest room from where the others continued playing their game, the room remained dark.

“Alec.”  Izzy softly called his name.

Probably wondering why he had dragged her over here only to stand in darkness and silence for several minutes.

He could hear a shriek of laughter that could only be Clary and Simon, the sound carried through the silent suite.

“I thought I could handle it.  The breaking of Edoms seals, the closing of the rift.”  Alec flexed his right hand.  “But now that I cannot feel it anymore, I feel blind.  I cannot see the power in the ground, cannot sense the demons nearby, cannot taste the electricity.  What does that make me?”

Izzy did not move from her spot.  “A shadowhunter.”  She replied calmly, he could hear he shift slightly though.

_Endarkened._

The demonic shadowhunter.  His mind supplied before he fully registered what Izzy had said.

He could feel the gaping hole where the power had slithered, slowly filling with the cleansing parabati bond and his own natural lesser power now.

“I tasted immortality.  I understand why it broke Magnus now.  I comprehend it.”  Alec turned to face Izzy, her face was lit by the lights outside the building shining faintly in.  “It’s painful because it has everyone else dying and even with that knowledge I crave it.”

“What does it do for you?”  Izzy questioned moving to stand beside him.

“Everything… but what I truly want.”  He scoffed at himself.  “Even with that logic I cannot let go of these chains I can feel hovering in my blood waiting for me to drop my guard and drag me back.”  Alec traced along his arm with his hand.  “I can’t even bring myself to draw a rune on this arm right now.”

Izzy nodded to herself, some of her dark hair falling forward with the motion.  “You already have a chain.  Jace.”

A burning hit.

Like a gash left by her whip.

Alec’s skin tingled.

Izzy stared out at the city not looking at her brother as he absorbed her words.  “You’ve already chained your soul to him, Alec.  I’m your sister.  It was your bond that started your healing process to begin with.  Follow it.  I can see the old feelings have returned for you.  And that pulled you back to Jace, to me.”

Alec rolled his eyes at the world outside the study.  “They never left, they were only buried.”

_Buried beneath rejection.  Buried beneath Magnus’s acceptance only to be forcefully brought to the light._

And they were linked in a constant confusing battle between requirement to expunge the darkness and desperate blazing need.  A need for that slight glimmer of hope that Alec had been struggling to quash since he woke up that morning, terrified what Jace would do with it.

_“Say it again.”_

His heart gave a sharp twist, breath stuttering on the thought.  He had wanted to desperately.  If it had not been for Simon and Izzy he was certain he would have been carving those words into Jace’s skin again.

Izzy came up to wrap her arms around her brother, but did not force him to turn away from the window.  “Have you told that to Jace?”

Alec inhaled before letting it out in a gust.  “Jace and I cannot get through a single conversation without doing something stupid.”

Izzy chuckled quietly.  “You know I am half tempted to give you two the keys to the other suite I had booked for Mom, Lucian, Max, and Magnus.  Figured they would want a bit more quiet than the rest of us.  But seeing as no one is actively using it.”

Alec finally tore his gaze from the skyline.  “What exactly are you implying, Izzy?”

“That I think you have more reasons to stay away from demon ichor tonight than you want to admit to me.  But first.”  Izzy held out her stele towards him.  “Draw a rune on that arm.”

His thoughts skidded to a stop, staring at the stele.  The last time he had activated runes both light and dark power had run rampant through his blood, staring up at that hole in the sky calling him to join its cause.

He wandered over to one of the study’s chairs collapsing down on it, holding out his hand for her stele, he could see it shaking even in the dark.

“You are going to be ok, Alec.  It’s just adamas, you cannot pull power from it.”  Izzy said placing the stele into his hand.

_If I could…_

Alec pressed the stele to his skin letting it sink in and burn, closing his eyes against the blissful pain, he started to draw a soundless rune along his arm where it used to always remain.

The parabati rune gave a small pulse.

The burn from the stele felt cleansing, a sharp burn into his skin sinking deeper where the infection had lay for so long.  He needed that burn deeper inside his blood to scorch it.

Izzy did not comment that he let the stele burn deeper than required nor did she try and pull it away when he dragged it slower than needed across his forearm ensuring it blistered into every layer of skin, seeking the blood underneath wanting to burn even that.  The rune at his side hummed against his side in a rhythm.

When the soundless rune was complete he handed Izzy her stele back and waved his own stele across the rune watching as it lit up gold.

“See first step.  Now find your reasons not to fall.  And if you do fall, remember you have me and Jace and probably even Jonathan to help you.  Talk to Jace about it.”  Izzy said hugging her brother tightly.  “But you have to return to the party with me.  I think Jace might kill me if I let you out of my sight.”

Alec sighed.  He needed to broach the other topic that had been stuck in his head.

Alec drew her back so she could look at his face.  “I learned something tonight.”  He paused a moment to ensure she held his gaze.  “Clary wants to become your parabati.  Do not do it.  Promise me you will refuse.”

Izzy tilted her head to the side before twisting the snake bracelet on her wrist.  “I told you before I do not want a parabati.  And as close as Clary and I are as friends, there is not a strong enough connection to want that bond.”  She sent him a playful smile.  “Besides I think it would be high maintenance.”

“High maintenance.”  Alec repeated brow creasing in confusion.

Izzy perched on the arm of the chair Alec sat on.  “Yes, you cannot travel the world unless your parabati is with you due to distance making you physically ill.  You need to revolve your entire life around one person, every choice needs to include that one person.  It is not something I think I am ready for unless it ends in marriage.”  She smiled down mischievously at Alec.  “Maybe not even then.”

The relationship with Simon far too new, so Alec let it lay for now.

“Just promise me you will not accept her as a parabati.”  Alec said looking up at her.

Izzy hopped off the arm of the chair.  “Just as long as you promise to actually come to Jace and me rather than tackling that on your own.”  She pointed at his bare arm, now covered with one single rune, soundless.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Clary was reading Tarot cards off for Jace when Alec and Izzy returned.

Clary had Jace pinned for her next reading of the cards, having already chewed up Simon and Jonathan with the ridiculous notion.

“You do know none of these work, right?”  Jace informed her as Alec sat down beside him and reached out to touch Jace’s knee at his side.

Instantly Jace’s anxiousness for Alec and Izzy to return eased off, his heartrate calming down, before spiking for a moment when Jace spied the soundless rune etched onto Alec’s forearm.

_Good, he finally applied a rune again._

Jace glanced over at Izzy and gave her a thankful smile for whatever she and Alec had discussed.

“Shut up.”  Clary hissed with some bite.  “My mom used to be obsessed with tarot card reading and I’m certain Dot, a warlock, made that set work.”  Clary waved her hand at the cards on table.  “Pick ten.”

Jace randomly selected ten of the cards.

Clary lay those ten cards out face up.

She made him choose another three sets of three cards after that before laying them all out and consulting the book Simon had bought her.

“Ok so the first cards you chose were Devil, Judgement and lovers…”  Clary trailed off as she continued reading the book.  “Says here…you consider someone as a friend when in reality they may be different…someone around you is keeping secrets…oh here this bit is interesting…the perception that you have of that person is false.  If you let them you could soon be invaded and you won’t manage to escape.”

Jace felt annoyance building and deeply uncomfortable at what she was saying.  Logically he knew the entire book was a bunch of rubbish designed to sound fitting to literally anyone who cracked it open.  Yet, it brought up thoughts and connections he would rather not dwell on at the moment.

“You done now?”  Jace huffed, crossing his arms in front of himself to stare across the table at Clary.

She glanced up briefly with an unsatisfied frown.  “No.  I still have to do the next set of cards.  Here I’ll jump to that section.”  She flipped the page and began mumbling to herself.  “Well, it says positive outcome in your future and talks about free will and oh, says you will have a major upheaval.  Your missing card is strength which represents the primacy of the spirit over physical force.”  Clary paused in her reading.  “Ok, this is definitely not like you.  It says.  It shows that you have an openness of spirit that you are a diplomatic person.”

Jace blinked then chuckled.  “See told you it does not work.”

“Well, who do you consider as a friend when they might be something different?”  Clary asked, clearly searching for a specific answer that did not line up with Jace’s thoughts at all.

“I thought you said you were getting ice.”  Jonathan stated to Alec, holding an entire bottle of rum and drinking straight from it before sliding it over to Alec with a challenging grin.  “Drink that.  Consider it retaliation for stealing your coffee and we’ll call it even.”

Alec easily took a gulp from the bottle shoving the bottle back towards Jonathan.  “You intend to finish that all by yourself?” Alec questioned with a small upturn of his lips.

Jace felt his mouth fall slightly open, staring at Alec.

_Guess Magnus introduced him further to alcohol than I thought._

“Mmmm.  Yes.  And then test out the limits of the anti-venom and anti-poison runes.”  Jonathan grinned.  “Someone did not want to let me bring in Seelie narcotics so drowning in a bottle of rum seems fairly tame.  You can thank Magnus for that terrible decision.”

Alec sent an unimpressed look at Jonathan, pressing his shoulder to Jace.

“Clary your cards probably reference our ex-demon here.”  Jace could see an uncomfortable anger building in Clary.  “Give me that.”  Jace snatched the bottle drinking some of it more as a challenge towards Alec and Jonathan than anything else.  It had nothing to do with his anxiousness towards Clary and the uncomfortable feeling of her scrutinizing every move he and Alec performed.

_Keep telling yourself that._

The alcohol surprisingly did not burn as badly as Jace anticipated going down.

_Huh, Simon managed to pick out decent stuff._

“Simon this is actually pretty good.”  Jace informed the vampire who was regaling Izzy with some tale about how some of the vampires at the Du Mort had vampire speed races using the hotel as the obstacle course.

Simon paused mid speech, staring at Jace.  “Did I just hear a compliment from you?  Wait, can you repeat that?  I did not hear it clearly enough.”  Simon said with an amused and smug grin from across the room.

Jace sent the vampire a cocky grin.  “You have vampire hearing, learn to use it.”

“Yeah.  See it’s interesting.  I can tell when people’s heartbeats pick up when others walk in a room it’s kind of amusing.”  Simon challenged with no real venom.

Everyone in the room stared awkwardly at Simon.

“Somehow I doubt you have trained yourself to understand the nuances of emotion in a heartbeat within just a few months.”  Alec stated with a small frown.  “Perhaps if you were a century old I would believe it but you are still technically a fledgling.”

Simon huffed in annoyance at being caught out.

“Jace, I’m going to go crash.  Unlike the rest of you I have meetings in the morning.”  Alec told the group, sliding his hand down Jace’s back leaving a warm trail where he touched.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace had made up some stupid excuse to get out of the room and follow Alec within seconds of watching him leave.

He located Alec in the room they had already claimed earlier, pausing when he entered watching Alec draw another of his normal runes back onto his right arm.

“Let me draw your runes.”  Jace stated, breaking the silence, closing the door behind him, and coming forward reaching out for Alec’s stele.

Alec shook his dark head, not relinquishing the silver weapon.  “No.  Let me draw them first.” He continued to slowly drag the stele through every layer of skin, maybe even deeper.

The slower the rune drawn, the more power it could hold.  Most shadowhunters figured out their own pace for engraving runes onto their skin, finding a balance between pain and the required power they would need.

Watching Alec though made Jace a tad uncomfortable, he knew the rune being drawn would hurt, but his rune was informing him Alec felt something akin to bliss.

“You know I did not really think about it at the time, but my runes worked on you, when yours did not.”  Jace swallowed past the uncomfortable lump in his throat.  “Let me draw them.”

Alec lifted his head up from where he had been looking at his arm to draw the current rune.  “It’s not that Jace.  I need to do this.  I need to know the runes work again.”

Alright, Jace could deal with that.  Maybe.  His hands still itched to reach out and touch, ensure Alec was there and his veins clear of black darkness.

He slid onto the bed behind Alec running his hands along Alec’s back, before leaning forward and placing a kiss against Alec’s spine, mouthing gently at the spot and not moving anywhere else.

A sharp gasp from Alec.  “Jace…are you intentionally being distracting because I have two more runes to draw.”  Alec breathed out, a slight tension in his spine to arch away or into Jace’s mouth.

Jace smiled against Alec’s back.  “Then draw them.  I’m not going anywhere and I have not done anything to you.”  Jace pressed an open mouthed kiss to Alec’s spine slightly further up.  “Yet.”

Jace could feel Alec tremble against his lips as he drew the last two runes on his arm that would normally be there.

Alec set the stele down on the bedside table before turning to Jace with a dark heated gaze.

_Stay with me._

Jace consciously activated the parabati rune with his angelic blood opening up the connection enough to slowly push his heated desire and need for him to remain here towards Alec.

Alec shook his dark head staring into his eyes.  “You.  I need you.  Your soul.”

Jace felt his mouth quirk up at Alec, before his gaze fell into something softer and molten.  “Then come take me.” Jace whispered.

Jace felt his own brain stall out from his own admittance.

Alec froze for a moment.  “Jace…”  He murmured hoarse.

“I’m tired of fighting each other on this.  We both clearly want the other.”  Jace ended on a hiss when Alec reached out to slide his hands under Jace’s shirt carding fingers along his muscles sending blistering heat through his body from the simple touch.

Jace felt himself relaxing when Alec moved to remove Jace’s clothing, hands sliding along his sides and arms first leaving trails of want.  Then dropping to his pants gliding along his legs etching paths of need.  Alec stood up from the bed enough for Jace to step the rest of the way out of his clothes.

The parabati rune began its slow pulse and burn that Jace knew would continue until they were locked together in a different rhythm.  That same pulse that told him Alec was alive, was his, and that they belonged to each other.

_I always needed you._

Alec pushed Jace gently down on the bed, following him down only to bite his neck before starting to trace the runes, mapping out Jace’s muscles and unseen scars that the Iratze rune had long since melted away from his skin with his hands and mouth.

“Alec…”  Jace breathed, arching his back as Alec traced lower with his mouth.

“Hmm.  I haven’t touched you yet.”  Alec whispered into Jace’s skin, breath fanning along his abdominal muscles.

_Need you lower._

Jace reached down to fist his hands into Alec’s black hair.  “More.”  Jace demanded, lost in the sensations.

He could feel Alec smirk into his skin, before Alec rose up and sank his teeth into Jace’s neck.

Not hard enough to break skin but enough that Jace jolted from the unexpected sensation, before Jace found himself moaning when Alec wrapped a hand around him giving him a slow stroke.

_Fuck._

“Alec…clothes off.”  Jace demanded between pants.

Alec continued to kiss, bite, and suck at his neck slowly pumping him and completely ignoring removing any of his own clothes.

The frustrating friction increased, maddeningly bringing Jace closer to the edge.  Before he felt a strange pressure further down where he normally stopped Alec from venturing.

Jace’s breath caught in his throat as he fought the instinctual urge to push him away.

Alec had already left his neck.

“Jace…tell me to stop and I’ll stop.”  A tongue swirled along the inside of his leg and then over his heavy length.  “Or tell me to continue.  And I’ll tear you up.”

_Yes, do it._

Jace could only give a vague moan, body burning with a want he never thought he would desire.

When Alec did not move, Jace slowly opened his blue and brown eyes to look down at Alec.

He felt his parabati rune heat sharply when their gazes met.

_Fuck, that’s hot._

Alec laying between Jace’s legs looking up at him with a heated gaze burning into him that left Jace twitching, hips moving restlessly for friction.

“I need to hear you say it, Jace.”  Alec’s voice came out rough and hoarse.

_I gave you every part of me already._

The lust and longing Jace felt to be joined with Alec for their souls to meld that way overpowered him for a moment.

“Tear me up.” Jace moaned out.

 He cried out sharply when Alec engulfed him in a hot, wet mouth.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace giving in.

_“Tear me up.”_

That single statement had Alec painfully hard in a heartbeat.

Alec watched through hooded eyes as Jace moved and arched to his touches, his mouth.

This, this is what he craved above everything, had craved it in that cell, craved every day since.  It overpowered the need for that darker power washing away every thought until all that remained was the burning pulse of Jace’s soul in his head, in his body and his own heartbeat.

_Jace, you are mine._

The primal urge to consume, tear into, and meld himself to Jace to ensure nothing remained between their souls was beating inside the bond between them loudly.

Alec flipped Jace over onto his stomach, sliding a hand down his back.

Jace arched into the touch, muscles flexing under Alec’s hands, low carnal groans rumbling through the air to hit Alec’s body like a touch.

_I want you._

This was what Alec desired more than anything.  Jace willing, accepting, and trusting him not to hurt him.

_I’ve hurt us enough avoiding seeing how you feel to protect my own heart._

Alec leaned forward to mouth kisses down Jace’s back following the trail his hands took before returning to Jace’s neck.  Relishing the heat he could feel from Jace’s body and through the parabati rune.  Heat he wanted wrapped around himself.

Jace groaned in frustration at the slow pace, pressing himself back towards Alec turning to try and capture Alec in a kiss.

“Stay on your hands and knees.”  Alec commanded voice low and hoarse, tearing his own clothes off quickly.

Jace remained where he was muscles trembling, breathe panting out of him.  “Nightstand.” Jace gasped.

For a moment, Alec remained stationary and confused before checking the drawer finding the oil based lubricant.

Alec held the small bottle up, waving it slightly.  “Was this part of your plan this morning?”  Alec husked returning to Jace to run his hands along Jace’s back and down along his thighs, pressing lightly.

Jace dropped his head between his arms a vague attempt to hide.  “Yes.  Mostly.  You complicated things fast.”  Jace bit his lip on a hiss when Alec pressed a palm between his shoulder blades the other going where Jace had always stopped him before.

Alec waited patiently for Jace to relax before moving again, mouthing kisses across his skin until he felt the muscles unclench, pressing in slowly until he heard what he was searching for.

Jace’s breath smashed out of him, head flying up from the sensation, before dropping on a deep moan.

_There._

“Alec.” Jace cried out, head thrashing confused by the pain and pleasure.

Alec moved closer pressing his chest to Jace’s back, skin against skin, a blazing heat between them.

“Jace.”  Alec husked into his ear, removing his hand.

_I’m going to claim you, body and soul._

Alec closed his eyes against the image of Jace.  The power in that image consumed him, left him reeling with how far he had fallen.  Not into darkness, but into their bond.  Into an emotion he had tried for years not to feel.

_It never left, just grew stronger._

When Jace permitted Alec to push himself into him, Alec bit off a curse struggling for control amid the heat wrapped around him.

The parabati bond pulsed around them locking their souls closer together, a force shot through him, taking possession of the heat in his veins.  Burning.

_You always found me._

Time and again Jace dragged him back and for once their time together was not tainted with the red flickering across his vision.

The burn in his veins filled the space the dark power had vacated, scorching through his body as they moved together.

“Say it again.”  Jace groaned on one of Alec’s thrusts bringing him back to his body rather than buried in their locked souls.

His heart gave a small twinge at the words, old fears rising up briefly.  Yet Alec remained enthralled by that voice he grabbed Jace’s hips more firmly, wrapping one arm around Jace to hold him still.  “I love you.” He hissed out struggling for restraint to not hurt Jace and to move slowly against the tight heat.

Jace responded with a low moan, pushing himself back to meet Alec.  “Say it again.”

“I love you.”  Alec nearly growled, the heat from Jace ripping apart his control too quickly.

_Say it back._

Alec could not voice the begged thought, leaned forward to bite and mouth at Jace’s neck.

Jace made a keening sound and cried out incoherently.

O – O – O – O –  O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace continued to run his hand down Alec’s arm.  Something he could not bring himself to stop doing and Alec had not bothered to pull away to hinder him even though he was certain they had been laying like this for a while.

Their bodies had cooled, sweat still stuck to their skin and the sheets were ruined, but neither ventured to leave the bed cocooned in their own space of warmth.

“I can’t believe we are here.” Alec whispered.

Jace glanced up at him, brow furrowing.  “I try not to.” Jace said, looking away.

Alec reached out to Jace’s face to guide him back to his eyes.  “Why?”

Jace closed his eyes, shaking his blond head.

Alec carded his hand through Jace’s blond hair, drawing the strands back.  “Tell me.” Alec breathed softly.

“Because I keep remembering how many times I almost lost you.  To that darkness.”  Jace whispered staring into those dark brown eyes as his hand drew down Alec’s arm again.  Alec had gone utterly still.

_I’m afraid for what I still need to do to keep you with me._

Alec sat up holding Jace’s gaze.  “You found me every time.”  Alec rested his hand against Jace’s parabati rune.  “You summoned me here and no amount of darkness held that back.”

Jace quirked an eyebrow up at Alec, a small frown forming.  “Funny.  I always felt like I was chasing you down.  Maybe I should just run the other way, see if you follow.”

Alec leaned down to nuzzle against Jace’s side.  “Then I will hunt you down until I claim you.  Because I belong to you.  The moment we became parabati I could feel that pulse in my body and in my blood informing me that you and I belonged together.”

_Fucking hell._

Alec was going to kill him with that voice.

Jace could feel Alec’s smirk against his side when his traitorous body decided it wanted to respond blatantly to that comment.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“You are….um…glowing.”

It was the first words Simon said to Jace when he walked into the kitchen the massive suite held that morning in search of water.

Jace froze hand halfway to the cabinet holding the glasses, checking his arm over for marks or bruising.  Or glowing.

He had applied an Iratze to remove the hickeys and bruises Alec had left across his neck and body before venturing out of their room, so he was certain there were no signs on his body outwardly.  His runes were not glowing.

Jace grabbed the glass out of the cabinet casting a curious glance towards Simon, before filling the water glass at the sink.  He turned around to see Simon still staring at him.

“What?”  Jace grumbled out, glancing over his body again.  No runes were actively glowing.  “Are you trying to pull some joke, because it is failing.”  Jace said and chugged the water down.

Izzy wandered into the room yawning.

Simon pointed to himself.  “Vampire.  Sharper, keener senses.  Your blood is glowing.  Also, congrats.”

Maybe it was the early morning but all Jace could manage to do was gape in incomprehension at Simon.

Izzy threw a pan on the stove.  “Don’t look so surprised, Jace.  You two weren’t exactly subtle last night.  He figured it out.”

Jace shoved Izzy away from the stove with a hip.  “I’ll cook before you poison us.  And Simon does not know what he’s talking about.”  He poured some of the oil into the pan before wandering over to the fridge grabbing eggs out, nervousness bubbling like the oil in the pan.

Simon snorted back a laugh clearly not even perturbed by Jace’s attempt to smack him down.

“Oh good.  Someone with intelligence around here.”  Jonathan said as he strolled in, eyeing the food Jace was now cooking.  Jace could see about five poorly drawn anti-venom and anti-virus runes on his arm already fading from their use.

“How’s the hangover?”  Jace asked the red haired ex-demon as a chance to get away from Simon’s prying conversation, even though he had zero interest in the state of Jonathan.

“There is none.  I also discovered there is a rune for caffeine.  Although it does not work quite the way I had envisioned.”  Jonathan responded dragging a chair out loudly and flopping down.

Both Izzy and Simon laughed, apparently something Jace had missed when he was gone with Alec.

“It was like having a hyper active ten year old that wanted to slaughter every demon in a five mile radius.  I could barely keep up with him.”  Simon informed Jace with a grin.  “Jonathan also tried serenading Clary with some demon song he knew that none of us could understand.”  Simon winced in remembrance.

Jonathan just rubbed his head clearly nursing some remnant of a hangover.

Jace raised his eyebrows up at that, tossing all the scrambled eggs on one large plate before placing it on the table where Izzy and Simon had set up the plates.

“I see someone finally decided to join the rest of us.”  Clary snapped at Jace as she joined them.

Jace cast a glance over at Izzy, she just shook her dark head.

_Great.  He had not even finished breakfast and she was itching for a fight._

“Simon told me you had left us all to go out with some girl.”  Clary said casually but the clear bite underlying the entire statement put Jace on edge, then her voice changed to tearful viciousness.  “Only it’s not some girl is it.”

_It’s Alec._

The food in Jace’s throat got stuck and he forced himself to swallow past the choking feeling.  “Clary, what I do with my life does not-“

“Fuck you, Jace.” Clary snarled.  “It was my relationship that got destroyed because of this.  You asked for time and I gave you that.  Then you wanted to end it and I thought you would come back to me after you figured out you could heal better with me.  But instead you ran to him the moment you could.  And then you just throw it in my face on my birthday.”

Everyone else had frozen, but Jace was hyper aware of Jonathan picking up a knife.

“Clary…”  Jace started trying to keep both Clary and Jonathan in his line of vision at the same time.

“I thought it was illegal for parabati to fall in love.  Or is this just some twisted relationship because of what happened in Edom?”  Clary sneered, green eyes flashing in anger and hurt.  “I always thought it was strange how close you two were, even for parabati.”

Anger flashed through him, burning through his veins.

Jace stood up coming around the table to grab Clary.  She moved back before he could intercept her.  “Clary.  What our bond is does not concern you.  I broke up with you because I needed to.  You are making a mistake and jumping to conclusions.”  Jace reasoned angrily.

_Damnit.  There were too many ears around for this type of conversation, particularly one ex-demon._

“Really?  You just spend all your time with him and suddenly have a date.  Do you even have a name for her?”  Clary bit back humorlessly, green eyes flashing.  “What happened to us, our love?  Edom happened and you just forgot me, just like Alec forgot Magnus!”  She screamed.

“We share a soul!  When you started a relationship with me you knew half of me would always be with Alec.”  Jace snapped at her, losing sight of Jonathan as his anger veered fully towards Clary.  “Look, I’m sorry we fell apart but I told you my reasons and they had nothing to do with Alec.”

Clary pulled her phone out and sharp dread spiked through Jace.

“What are you doing?”  Izzy asked in concern from the table.

“Telling Maryse.”  Clary snapped typing a few keys on her phone to bring up Maryse’s number.

Jace lunged for the phone, headless of just how incriminating that would appear.

Metal flashed through the air slamming into her phone and through Clary’s hand.

Clary shrieked in outrage and surprise staring at her bloodied hand with a knife sticking out of it and her phone in wide-eyed horror.

Jace stared in surprise at the impaled phone, before his attention veered towards Jonathan.

Simon scrambled to his feet gaping at Jonathan and Izzy had her whip out but paused her attack uncertain.

“No one touches my creator.”  Jonathan growled from his place at the table.  “Not even you, Clary.  Alec is my one chance to continue living this life and the only person standing between me and the Clave.  You tell anyone, you destroy me with them.”  Jonathan stood up and grabbed Clary’s impaled wrist, staring her in the face.  “You lost mother, you lost father, you lost me for a time, and now you lost Jace.  That’s what life is!  It is loss and growth and trying to crawl through it all until you find someone else along the way that you can share in that pain with.  But that person won’t always be the same person.”  Jonathan shook her.  “You cannot cling to just one person and hope they can give you everything you need in life.  Life does not work that way.  The Silent Brothers taught me that.  Alec taught me that.  I thought you taught me that.  But you are obsessed with Jace you cannot see anyone else including me.”

“I’m not obsessed with Jace.  You are obsessed with me!”  Clary bit out and wrenched out of Jonathan’s grasp.

“You play children’s games with me but never discuss your life or your problems!”  Jonathan snarled grabbing her shoulders and shaking her again.  “I spend more time with Alec and Magnus than my own sister.”

Clary whirled on Jace, her red hair flying.  “Just tell me the truth.  Are you and Alec together?”  She practically spat Alec’s name.

Jace froze, breath locking in his throat.

“No.”  Alec spoke from the doorway, arms crossed staring at the carnage.

Jace knew it was the wise choice but it still made his heart clench and twist in pain, especially considering the piece of himself he had just given Alec last night.

Izzy shifted in her seat as if she was about to get up but stayed herself, whip still coiled on the floor ready.

Alec stepped into the room, an ominous omen of the leader that lurked underneath.  “You have caused enough trouble tearing apart the Shadowworld with your past deeds.  I will not stand by and watch you slander myself and Jace and destroy your brother’s only chance at redemption.”  Alec stopped before Clary and Jonathan.  “You still want to save your brother?”

“Yes.”  Clary’s voice came out trembling and small.

“Then do not play with politics you know nothing about.  Consider your date to the Shadowhunter Academy moved up officially.  You leave today.  I do not trust you not to destroy three people’s lives with one careless statement.”  Alec informed her.  He reached out to pry Jonathan’s hand from her shoulder before yanking the knife out of her hand and drawing an Iratze on her wrist.

Jonathan moved away from Clary, head bowed down, he made an abortive gesture to reach out and touch either Alec or Clary before returning to the breakfast table holding his head.

“Clary, go get your stuff packed.  You are returning to the Institute with me now.”  Alec ordered.

Clary reared back.  “I don’t have to listen to you.  You are just trying to protect your own ass.”  Clary bit out at Alec.

Alec settled a stony hard look at Clary.  “I will forcibly drag you to the Institute if required.  I have not pressed any charges against you for destroying the Seelie’s breeding program, something that has rights within the law.  You risk charges against yourself unless you pack now.”  Alec said with steel laced in his voice.

Clary took a step back in affronted shock and whirled around and stomped off to go pack her things.

Izzy and Simon both exchanged glances.

“I’m going to go help Clary get packed.”  Simon said scurrying away from the table.

Jonathan gave a low moan of despair.  “I hurt her.  I hurt Clary.”  He cried looking up at Alec in broken desperation.

_She deserved it._

Jace held no sympathy for Clary now, not when she just threatened him like that out of jealousy.  Even if what she accused was true, Clary and he had not been together in weeks, months now.

Jace eyed the red haired ex-demon, shock still reverberated through his system at what Jonathan had just done to protect Alec, even if the end result was for selfish reasons.

Alec knelt before Jonathan pressing their heads together whispering softly to him.

“You ok?”  Izzy asked Jace having left the table and approached him.

Jace shook his head, still staring at Alec and Jonathan.  Loathing the swooping feeling inside himself.

“You know, I don’t think the parabati curse affects you two.”  Izzy stated quietly leaning her dark head against Jace’s shoulder and wrapping her arms around him, Jace reflexively hugged her back. 

If it did become true Jace remained uncertain if he would want to survive that.  It would only prove what Valentine taught him that “to love is to destroy” and Jace had been working on teaching himself that it remained an incorrect way of thinking.

_I should have said it back._

Regret for that single statement not being uttered last night shook Jace to the core, even as the thought of saying it aloud made cold sweat break out across his skin.

“If it was going to activate, it would have happened months ago.”  Izzy continued softly, pointing towards the table with a runed arm in a silent demand to return to the food.

Alec had started a strange ritual of touching Jonathan’s hair, face, and sliding his hand across his body to still over Jonathan’s heart whispering something to him.

It left Jace decidedly uncomfortable about the intimacy of that moment and he found he could not move from his spot yet, a sick heated twist forming in his gut shimmering in a quiet rage and resentment that Alec turned to the demon first.

“Pure one.”  Jonathan replied to Alec before standing up, no hint of the earlier rage and violence in his face or body.  “I don’t want to forget.  I will not forget.  But she will see me as a monster again.”

“Then do not let this crush you.  When you died your identity was shattered and you had the choice to become who you want to be.”  Alec spoke loudly enough that Jace could hear him this time, hand still pressed over Jonathan’s heart as Alec stood to join Jonathan.

Jonathan looked up at Alec and Jace could see the blaze in those green eyes from where he stood.  “I was a demon!”  Jonathan shouted at Alec, the calm Jace had glimpsed for a moment being obliterated in rage.

_A deranged demon._

Jace held his seraph blade in his hand in a snap, nerves reaching their breaking point and the blade igniting in a white and silver flash.

“You are a shadowhunter!”  Alec snapped back.  “And I did not save you to watch you break because Clary cannot accept all of you.”  Alec removed one of his blades from his belt and slashed it across Jonathan’s arm, red blood welled up.  “See, its red!”

Jace’s scornful thoughts towards Jonathan ground to a halt, blade still hovering before him unmoving.  He recognized this scene only it was reversed.

Jonathan gave a strange choked sound that Jace realized was the ex-demon holding back what sounded like a sob.

After a moment where all Jace could hear was his own thundering heart.

“Shall I get the bandages this time for the reminder or shall you?”  Jonathan asked ironically touching his forehead back to Alec’s and tapping at Alec’s shoulder with a hand.

Alec just reached out with his stele and drew the rune along Jonathan’s arm vanishing the cut.

Izzy sat herself back down at the table, stabbing a piece of egg with her fork.  “That was dramatic.”  She waved her fork at Jonathan and Alec.

“It was a reminder.”  Jace said understanding what he had walked into weeks ago when he had thought Jonathan had attacked Alec.

_A reminder that just because they were infected did not mean they bowed to its will._

It still bothered Jace the ease Alec accepted that violence between himself and Jonathan.  That friendship bordered to close to a precipice of insanity he did not feel comfortable watching his parabati draw near.

Alec snapped his gaze towards Jace, eyes going wide before softening when he recognized the understanding Jace sent him.  Even if Jace did not fully understand all the reasons behind it and hated how the reminder was performed he recognized the connection.

Jace moved over to the table to finish his breakfast in silence with the three.

Izzy sent concerned glances between Jace and Alec in the silence, whatever she wanted to say she kept to herself probably due to Jonathan’s presence.

Alec pressed his knee against Jace’s briefly but Jace refused to meet the dark brown eyes.

His own emotions were in turmoil and if he glimpsed his parabati’s eyes right now he felt like he might shatter.

Clary returned stomping back into the room with her bag and Simon following behind, appearing morose with his mouth thinned out and turned down and refusing to meet anyone’s gaze.

“Let’s go.”  Alec said, standing up.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Magnus knew he needed to let Alexander go, but seeing him truly happy last night had both been a blow to the gut as well as a relief.

_At least seeing him is getting easier._

He had managed to remain collected until saying his goodbyes, only finding it difficult in the way he looked at Alexander.  Old habits die hard and that pertained to how he responded to Alexander as well.

Magnus swirled his arms to the right as the blue orb he was currently hovering back and forth before him in meditation followed his command.

_Maybe I could move back to Europe or take an extended trip to Japan.  Or Peru.  Just give myself time away from challenging Shadowhunters._

His doorbell pinged.

Magnus released his grasp on the blue magic allowing it to dissipate easily, throwing one of his silk red robes on before opening the door.

“Jonathan.”

_Think and one shall appear._

Jonathan stood there with a small awkward smile that alone was unsettling.  “I’m…uh…not here to kill anything today.”  Jonathan smiled broken and cracked.

_That’s a new one._

Magnus raised one eyebrow, before stepping back and allowing the red head into his domain.

Once Magnus had closed his door he spun around to study the red head who had wandered over to the window leading towards the balcony.

“What brings you here, Jonathan?”  Magnus inquired, waving a hand at the windows allowing more light in.

Jonathan flinched in the light, shielding his eyes.

Working with the man had brought some clarity about who Jonathan was as a person to Magnus, but the man certainly had a twisted sense of priorities.  And a complete enthrallment for violence.  He was broken like so many of the Downworlders that Magnus had helped find their own stumbling way.

“I hurt my sister today.”  Jonathan whispered and turned around to face Magnus.  “The part that scares me is I hurt her to protect someone other than myself.  I did not even think of myself until after.”  Jonathan crossed the room to Magnus so he was practically in his face.  “It terrifies me.”  Jonathan hissed.

Magnus blinked forcing himself not to lean away from the deranged shadowhunter that still stank vaguely of alcohol.

_Everyone has to surprise me sometimes._

“It’s called being human.”  Magnus paused before bringing up his hand to imbue blue magic towards Jonathan’s stomach removing the hangover symptoms.  “Fear comes with it.  It’s a fairly normal emotion.  Emotions are a part of living.  I suppose this is the first time it’s truly been tested, your first disagreement with Clary since becoming a Shadowhunter.”  Magnus said quirking both hands up forming drinks, because he was going to need a coffee if Jonathan actually wanted to discuss feelings this early in the morning.

Jonathan appeared mildly queasy at the idea of coffee or any other liquid.  “I think I’ll pass.  I tried testing out some runes abilities last night to test tolerance levels.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow.

_Maybe I should have stayed._

He wandered over to his favorite chair, rotating in a graceful spin before sitting down.  “Start talking, Jonathan.”

Jonathan sent him an irritated glare.  “I don’t know what you want to hear.”

“How about why are you afraid of caring for someone other than Clary?”  Magnus questioned, taking a sip of his drink.  A bit to bitter, the coffee needed more milk.   A dash of blue sparkling magic and it was perfect.

_And why you chose to come to me._

Jonathan paced the room.  “I don’t know!”  He threw his arms out.  “Death!  Losing Clary.  Losing Alec.”  Jonathan stopped pacing to look at Magnus something akin to panic shining in his eyes.  “The silent brothers ordered me to form bonds.  I hate them!  They do nothing for me.”  Jonathan pointed a hand towards the floor strangely before grabbing one of the crystal glasses Magnus had left on a table last night when Catarina had visited.  He crushed it between his fingers until the glass shattered and blood welled out.  “I lived through Edom’s torture for years, but I don’t know how to live through this betrayal of my blood, I cannot chose between them.”

_Probably Clary and Alec, some fight this morning._

They were the only two that Magnus had personally seen treat the red haired ex-demon as something other a deranged devil.  Simon perhaps but Magnus knew Jonathan would not be reacting this volatilely if it had been the vampire.

The demonic identity conflicting with humanity.  Magnus supposed he should not be shocked that Jonathan would undergo a mental break as he tried to find a balance in his mind between who he had been and who he was now.

_Injuring Clary must have set this off._

“Emotions inform you about the relationships that surround you and where you fit in this world.”  Magnus stated calmly studying the redhead as the blood dripped from Jonathan’s hand splattering against the carpet.

Magnus could feel his warlock power shimmering to the surface of his skin in preparation for a shield or chains if Jonathan attacked.

Jonathan opened his hand allowing the broken glass to fall to the floor in bloody tinkling pieces.  “I don’t fit anywhere.  Clary is leaving and I hate her for it.”  Jonathan took a breath pushing a shard of glass further into his hand intentionally.  “But she threatened to expose Alec to the Clave and I cannot abide it.  He is my creator, he is my god, and he gave me my life.”  Jonathan rushed towards Magnus nearly touching him with that bloodied hand held towards his face, hovering an inch away.  “She can’t have him!”

_Well, that is disturbing._

It answered a question Magnus had been harboring about the relationship between the ex-demon and Alexander for some time.  The insanity always kept under control with just a word from Alexander.

Jonathan ripped the shard of glass out of his hand he had pushed inside.  “Tell me Magnus, son of Asmodeus.”  He slowly ripped another chunk of glass out of his hand, blood falling to the floor.  “How many years did you slaughter and kill when he first took you in and trained you to be the warlock you are today?  How many years did it take for you to crawl your way out and find your way here?”

_I barely escaped that torture myself.  I plotted to banish my own father and had to crawl through the miles of portals and bloody sacrifices to get out the first time.  You expect me to piece you back together._

“A long time.  Longer than it must take you.  Jonathan, you are mortal.  I chose to leave Asmodeus because I grew tired of the killing and the pain.  I did not want the anger any longer.  You have to learn to let that anger and hate go.”  Magnus told him softly setting the coffee aside, he had no appetite for it any longer.

Jonathan did not appear to register Magnus’s words or what it took to say them.

“I beat death!  Again and again.  And their Clave wants to kill me for destroying their enemy.  Their demons.  It wasn’t even me!  They want to encourage the destruction of the one person that could do what none of them were willing to do.”  He pointed at himself, green eyes flashing.  “I am in daily danger of being killed because they whisper that I am the enemy.  But I was changed.”  Jonathan’s knees buckled and he hit the floor still staring at Magnus with wide green eyes.  “I’m supposed to be angelic.  I’m supposed to be good.”  He begged brokenly before his voice turned to a snarl.  “And all I want to do is rip their throats out.”  His bloodied hand ensnared Magnus’s red robes and slid down the fabric until Jonathan had his face pressed to the floor and screamed.

Slowly Magnus reached down to rest a hand on Jonathan’s shoulder unmoving from the screaming red head.

The red blood on the floor stood out darkly even against the rich colors of the carpet, glass shards glinting in the early morning light.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace stood as far as he could from the warlock portal observing Clary and Lucian exchange last minutes goodbyes with Maryse and Simon before the resident warlock opened the portal in a flare of gold.

Jace never thought he would feel relief watching Clary walk out of the Institute with Lucian on her way to the Shadowhunter Academy, but he did.

Seeing that bright red hair vanish through the portal eased a pressure from his body, but twisted his nerves tighter.

_She better not say anything._

Another portal opened as Jace went to turn away and five Clave dignitaries stepped out, stern faces and official clothing.

Jace’s attention veered to the monster that stood behind them all.  Stitched eyes and stitched mouth, grey robes.  A Silent Brother, tall and imposing, silent as death.

_That’s not Brother Zachariah._

Jace forced himself not to touch the parabati rune as twisting cold wrapped itself around his body in fear and his gut plummeted.  He could never let that Silent Brother touch the rune at his or Alec’s side.

He could make out Alec and Maryse both going through the motions of welcoming the Clave dignitaries into the Institute with Lydia as other shadowhunters crossed his line of vision going about their work in the Institute.

Simon approached him quietly.  “It’s going to be weird only having you to practice with in the afternoon.”  Simon said with a tinge of sadness, shifting back and forth on his feet.  “She should not be punished for guessing correctly.  Alec could have waited the two weeks before she needed to leave.”

Jace finally turned his gaze away from watching Alec, the Silent Brother and dignitaries to look at Simon.  “Don’t ever mention it again, Simon.”  Jace advised coldly turning and walking towards the training rooms to start his afternoon shift.

_How did this get out of control so fast?_

Simon appeared taken aback before scrambling to follow, falling into step beside Jace.  “Why?  You don’t have to give me everything.  Just why is it such a bad thing to be in a relationship…”  Simon trailed off realizing there might be too many ears around.

_No one knows.  And if they do the Clave never explains it even to the parabati taking the rune._

The curse had been something Alec had insisted upon researching together prior to agreeing to become parabati with Jace.  When they turned up nothing but rumors and fairy tales Alec had relented and consented to the parabati rune ceremony.  At the time Jace had assumed it was Alec covering all his bases like he usually did.

“The curse is supposed to make parabati go insane.  It’s why Alec advised Clary against asking Izzy to become parabati with her.”  Jace informed the brown haired vampire, picking up two swords and tossing one towards Simon.

Simon frowned, catching the weapon.  “Do you ever regret becoming parabati with Alec?  I mean it sounds like it’s a lot of work, both emotionally and physically.  And then you have this curse hanging over your head your entire life.”  Simon shook his head.  “Izzy is not becoming parabati with Clary.  Clary finds herself in trouble often enough and I’m not risking my girlfriend’s health on Clary making rational choices the rest of her life.  She might be my best friend, but even I know she has made mistakes that would cost someone connected to her like how you and Alec are.”

He never would regret becoming parabati with Alec.

“Simon.  Stop talking.”  Jace advised before launching into their sparring session.

The entire training session Jace kept reaching through the bond checking on Alec, ensuring he remained unharmed.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The Clave dignitaries hovered, like flies around a bloated corpse.

Alec secretly despised them but understood this dreaded, long day needed to occur.  Now more than ever.

_Jessica._

A shadowhunter that had grown up in Idris, never stepped foot into a true demon den, and had spent all her life studying law.  She was the leader of the Clave dignitaries that had been sent and appeared to be the largest threat towards Jonathan.

_And the Silent Brother that needs to examine Jonathan._

Jessica currently sat across from Alec in his office flipping through the file on bloodwork, physical, and psychological exams Alec had put Jonathan through.   He could see the displeased frown on her face as her eyes darted across each page.

“He has never had traces of demon essence since his capture.”  Alec said, summarizing the entire massive binder in one sentence.

Jessica smacked the file closed, her mouth in a thin line the tight blonde ponytail adding to the severe appearance in her face.  “I see you have your Institute under your thumb.  Every single medic, you even pulled in psychologists from Idris and sent Jonathan to a mundane as well for a second opinion.  I’m sure the mundane’s opinion might be frowned upon in Idris.”

Alec kept his hands casually clasped before him.  “I have given you the facts.  I understand the Clave desires to replicate the decimation of Edom on the other hellish realms.  I am here to tell you, it cannot be replicated.  I believe Maryse already informed you of this data before you arrived.”

_And wasted my time and yours._

Jessica smiled a slow upturn of her lips.  “I admire you.  Cunning and ruthless enough to enter a Hell realm and single handedly destroy it and live.  That gives you quite the standing back in Idris.  I do not care if it can be replicated I want to know how.”

Alec leaned back slightly, knowing his eyes went hard.  “Power resides in every part of every hellish realm.  Every demon in those realms understands their land better than you do, better than anyone you send.  You intend to create a sacrificial pyre of every man, woman, and child you throw in there.  They will all die.”

The Clave dignitary pulled the binder to her chest, mouth thinning further, before turning into a vicious smile.  “But you did not.  I know you came back from Edom possessed with something.  The records show you killed two of your own.  Was that the demon inside Jonathan or something else?  All of your reports remain redacted and magical corruption wiped out every video of your healing process in the subcells.”

“The reports have been redacted to keep foolish people from replicating it.  However, I will inform you that I did require the assistance of the warlocks to heal from destroying Edom.”  Alec informed her, the partial truth would keep her away from where she could never venture.

Jessica drew her finger along his desk in a slow line.  “Maryse has refused to give up the appearance of the symbols found in Edom.  You were there, you must know what they looked like, draw them.”

Alec kept his face impassive.  “I do not recall the appearance any longer.  If I had Maryse would have been able to provide you that symbol.” He replied easily.

Jessica’s lips thinned even further in displeasure.  “Where is your devil?  He does live within these walls, does he not?”  Jessica asked impatiently.

Alec felt his mouth turning down slightly at the clear insult.  “Jonathan knows when he is required to be in my office.”

The Clave dignitary turned to glance at the clock, showing Jonathan was ten minutes late.

“Already breaking orders.”  She clicked her tongue in disapproval.

The door slammed open.

Jonathan strode in wearing a completely different outfit than he had been in that morning, red hair spiked in a new style a slash of golden temporary dye in one streak along the side of his head.

_At least he is here._

Alec frowned at the underlying tension he could see in Jonathan’s shoulders that smoothed out as soon as he met Alec’s gaze, green eyes blazing with determination.

Jonathan offered a hand to the stunned blonde dignitary.  “Jonathan Morgenstern.  Pleased to meet you.”  He sent her a charming smile.

Jessica took Jonathan’s hand warily but shook it anyway.

When Jonathan released her hand Alec noticed him surreptitiously wipe his hand against his leg, before throwing himself on the sofa and sending Alec a devilish smile.  “I killed everything in a five mile radius for you last night.”  Jonathan glanced at the dignitary.  “I dragged the demon’s entrails down the street and sang demonic chants hailing...”

Jessica paled considerably.

“Jonathan.”  Alec warned.  “Not helping.”

Jonathan huffed, waving a hand in a casual gesture towards Alec.  “Everything in a five mile radius near the gala was taken out last night.  Sunlight runes were used to properly dispose of the bodies.”  He purposely glanced at the blonde in the room.  “Have mercy on me for I have sinned in your name.”  He drawled and smiled at Alec flashing his teeth.

_Stop taunting her._

Alec quirked one eyebrow up at Jonathan in question, before returning to his plan.  “Good.  Then I have another section of New York for you to cleanse, then I require you in the greenhouse to teach the gardeners and medics more of the antidotes.”  Alec opened his desk drawer pulling out the planned folder and pushed it towards Jonathan.

Jonathan came around the desk in a prowl, sliding his hand along the desk and leaning towards Alec nearly brushing their foreheads together before snatching the folder up.  “Do I need to stay and howl at the moon, savagely drink some blood for her, or can I start my mission?”  Jonathan amusingly asked.

It left a strange burn across his synapses pulling that remembered darkness from the back of his mind forward.  A time surrounded by blood.  Alec reached out through the parabati bond for Jace until it faded.

“You aren’t fooling me.”  Jessica stated crossing her arms studying Jonathan as a specimen, there was another shine in her eyes that Alec instantly disliked.  “You cannot change.  You will always be a monster.”

Alec knew she was goading Jonathan, waiting to see him crack and lash out, just as Jonathan was taunting her.  Alec could feel himself tensing waiting for Jonathan’s reaction.

“You think I’m a threat.”  Jonathan leaned over the desk towards the blonde.  “Never take me from Alec and you have nothing to fear.”  He hissed subtly.

Alec reached out and drew Jonathan back from the possessive stance.  “Go, do as I asked.  Dismissed.”  Alec ordered.  “You will be seen by the Silent Brother at 1900.”

Jonathan smirked deviously at the dignitary before strolling out of the room casually.

Alec turned his attention back to Jessica who had one eyebrow raised in his direction.

“I can see why you want to argue with the Clave regarding Jonathan’s death.”  She pointed out with a small sneer.  “You keep him on a tight leash.  I’ll be staying here for a week to ensure you truly have him under control and that Jonathan still proves useful.  If his usefulness does not outweigh his crimes than he will be killed immediately.  Let’s see this file of new data he has procured for us regarding killing demons and healing against their toxins as well as the list of missions he has accomplished.”

_No pressure._

Jace careened through the door a second later, heterochromia eyes wild before he took in the scene of Alec and the blonde dignitary sitting across the large mahogany desk from each other, the large binder clutched to Jessica’s chest.

“Everything ok?”  Alec questioned.

_Could he sense when I reached for him that easily?_

Jace stood awkwardly in the doorway now, but shifted to lean casually against the doorjamb, arms crossed.  “Yeah.  Just came to see if you had any free time today.”

Alec inclined his head towards Jessica’s blonde form.  “Unlikely.  I’ll see you this evening and give you an update.”

He hated needing to dismiss Jace like this, but until he could figure out a way to allow them safely out in the open he was not risking it.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The rich carpet had been cleaned of the bloodstains, the shattered glass removed, and the blood stored carefully away.

_Not a warlock for nothing._

Magnus did not agree with most blood rituals now, but he also understood precaution.  Jonathan’s blood was an insurance.

No one else wandered through his loft and after a quick check on his wards Magnus unlocked his safe.  The wood and gold clockwork pieces unwinding and moving apart.  He pulled out the sheaf of paper Clary had delivered to him months ago with fingers covered in metal rings.

The top page Magnus did not care about, all it contained was a clearly forced apology that Jem, the silent brother, must have required Jonathan to write as a therapy exercise.

He flipped to the next page where the list of escaped greater demons lay.  The list spoke of an innate fear Jonathan felt towards those greater demons hunting him down after the destruction of Edom.

Magnus understood precisely how he himself used his power to escape Edom as it all came crumbling down and the spell required to learn specifically which greater demons had crossed the threshold would be immense.

_That chrysalis had been surrounded in buckets of blood._

Thankfully, the issue of the chrysalis had been resolved quickly once Jonathan had shown up.  Although, now Magnus wondered if those summoning circles had started off as some other ritual used to create the list he now held.  It was not like Jonathan had a lot of spare time before he was captured.  A few days at most.

_Jonathan did say he built that chrysalis.  Unless he lied._

He flipped those pages over and landed on the page he was searching for.

_A spell to a soul._

Jonathan’s soul.

Magnus sat down in his chair.

“Why would you give me this power over you, Jonathan?”  Magnus whispered aloud staring at the sheet, turning it over carefully.

The entire sheet had been covered in a mix of Nephilim symbols and demonic language.  The Nephilim symbols presumably allowed Jonathan to write it while in the Silent City and send the paper on its way without anyone detecting anything.

_I did not even detect anything until I got home._

Think.

The number of times Magnus had thought about this sheet sitting inside his safe had left him running in circles, thinking it an elaborate trap for weeks.

Jonathan had made it clear he both missed and hated being a demon.  During their time spent summoning strategic demons and researching another idea, Jonathan had informed him several times he did not want to be infected during any of their demon summoning rituals regardless of how messy and he had paled to a white sheet upon seeing Edom’s power again in that orb Izzy brought him.

_You do not trust yourself, Jonathan._

And rather than become a demon Jonathan gave that power to someone he must have deemed powerful enough and trusted by Alexander to ensure that if it did happen they could kill him.  Alexander’s past lover.  The son of Asmodeus.  Himself.

_As much as you relish the violence you fear yourself.  What this new life as a shadowhunter brings._

Magnus briefly wondered why Jonathan did not give the spell to Alexander, but dismissed the thought just as quickly.  Alexander would have still been infected, losing his mind as the last remnant of his soul turned black from the darkness inside him at the time.

_Because the person that saved you was dead in your mind.  And you feared going down that same path._

And the worst monsters are always the ones we create.

“And you and Alexander created yourselves as the monsters in your minds.”  Magnus traced some of the demonic letters across the page feeling the hint of power that would lead him a direct line to Jonathan’s soul.

The previous night proved to Magnus that Alexander remained in recovery because of Jace, he could still see the black lines written across his soul, but it was a far cry from what his soul had once looked like, tattered and broken and the remaining remnant practically a solid black.  No matter how much that thought hurt, it was a fact and he would accept it.  He still secretly wanted to know how Jace managed something his own warlock magic could not, but his suspicions of what that answer entailed kept him from asking.  Abiding by it proved more difficult but it was getting easier.

Magnus had been curious why Jonathan appeared so adamant to spend time with himself, perhaps this sheet was the reason.  Searching for a way to locate the paper and destroy it before Magnus could use it against him.  Yet, the mental break earlier provided a clouded view of Jonathan and his motives now.

_Who do you have Jonathan?  Now that Clary is gone._

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Jace stared at what might have been a Kelpie as it rose up out of the water before himself.

Being cooped up in an Institute, with a Silent Brother breathing down his neck, had forced Jace to seek out at least one mission, since he could not drag Alec away from the blonde Clave envoy and his duties.  Whatever he had felt through their bond kept an itch in the back of his mind that drove him outside to do something, anything.  Action had always been Jace’s fall back.

The Kelpie, creature, had opaque blue eyes and razor sharp teeth, but the part that unnerved Jace the most was its pale, naked body and normal human looking skin rather than algae or blue skin as a Kelpie should.

He swung his blade as the creature lunged for his neck, razor sharp teeth snapping shut close enough Jace could feel its rancid spittle land on his skin.

_Shit!  It moves fast._

The creature faded from Jace’s eyesight and his seraph blade swept through empty air where it had just been.

A hiss behind them and the creature reformed.

_What is it!?_

Jace swung quickly burning through an agility rune and managed to chop its hand off on the next attack, pale skin turning to knarled bone as the hand fell and hit the ground.  Rotted and dead.

_Ghoul?  Undead?_

Just need to stab it a lot and whittle down its defenses.

Pale, blue eyes formed in the air first before the rest of its body a distance away from Jace.

Valentine had forced Jace to study every demon until he understood them inside and out.  Both living and extinct versions, he had no idea what this creature was.

Jace grabbed a handful of mud and threw it towards the creature as it leapt for him again with a shriek, blood dripping from its mouth between razor sharp teeth, he threw himself into a roll away from the charge feeling its razor sharp claws slash across his side, leaving a burning trail of pain.

_Fuck!  That hurt._

This time when it faded from his view the mud Jace had thrown on it zapped around the small clearing showing him where the creature would reform.

It reformed directly in front of Jace with a howl, he locked its remaining taloned hand with his seraph blade, unfortunately that did not stop its razor sharp teeth from sinking into his neck, it let go a moment later when Jace felt a surge of angelic power sweep through him forcing it to release his neck.

Blood soaked into his shirt, Jace drew his seraph blade back and impaled the creature through the chest.

It smiled.  In horror Jace watched as the creature morphed from its pale, sickly, bony appearance into runed muscles and dark black hair.

Jace twisted his blade and sliced it harshly through the creature’s chest and stomach, before slashing his blade across its neck.

The head hit the ground, no longer male with black hair and instead a bare skull, empty rotting eye sockets, and mangled, ratty dead hair lay on the grassy ground.

Jace touched his parabati rune, he could still feel Alec.  He shuddered.

Jace swallowed back the bile that was growing in his throat, trying to regain control of his breathing.  Adrenaline still pulsed through his system leaving him shaking.

Whatever it was Jace had just killed should not be getting up anytime soon.

Jace clenched his fist to ensure he could move again.  The image of Alec dying by his hand seared into his head harder than all the images of Clary from the Owl had.

_“You will kill him.”_

Jace froze.  Ice filled his veins curdling through his body quickly.  That was not Jonathan that was not the Owl, that voice was something else entirely, high pitched and animal.

Jace clawed his hand into his neck where it had bitten him, tearing at the skin.  “Get it out.  Get it out!”  He screamed though no one was with him on this mission.

_No.  I will not be possessed again.  I refuse!_

With a thought Jace activated any healing rune on his body he could think of, tearing at his skin.

The sunlight gleamed down from above.  Jace blinked, he was laying on the ground staring up at the late afternoon sky.  He turned his head, the decapitated skull with empty rotting sockets stared back at him less than a foot away.  He jerked back, disgust roiling through his system.

“Alec?”  Jace croaked.  His mouth felt cracked and dry.

_Alec is still at the Institute…_

Jace carefully touched his neck with his hand, it came away bloody.

_Don’t panic._

Just take pictures of the creature and get a team here to perform an autopsy, do not think about the time you just lost.

_Three hours of time._

Jace busied himself with his task desperately curtailing the growing shake in his limbs as his mind kept circling back to the three missing hours.  He shakily drew a shield of mind rune over his skin hidden beneath his shirt near the parabati rune to draw extra power from that source without actually blocking Alec out.

_You’re fine._

Just got knocked out for a bit.

The fear continued to pound through his veins until he dropped back to the ground with a growl.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Jace!”

Jace had managed to stumble halfway to the Institute infirmary when he heard Alec’s deep voice call his name, the tiled floor echoing his jarring footsteps.

_Don’t come near me.  Please.  I don’t know if I’m possessed again._

Jace quickened his pace but felt a hand wrap around his arm pulling him to a halt, searing into his skin.

“What happened?”  Alec demanded.  “I felt…”  He trailed off as the blonde Clave envoy approached them, Alec’s mouth thinned in annoyance and his eyes narrowed slightly before Jace watched it drop away.

Jace swayed on his feet, locking his legs to keep from toppling over.  “I think someone is raising Kelpies as undead or something.  I need to get to the infirmary, check for infection.”

_Possession._

Jace clenched his fist but could not get it to move through the cycle of fingers.

That cold fear tightened around Jace’s chest further, constricting his breathing.

The envoy seemed appeased by the logical approach, she twirled one of her loose blonde locks around her finger studying Alec with half a smile.

“Seelies beating down your doors eager for a war.  A demon living in your home.  What blasphemy towards the Angel will you accomplish next, Alec?”  The blond envoy questioned snidely.

Jace had disliked her the moment he had stumbled into Alec’s office after that flare of warning through the parabati rune, but the way she was looking at Alec sent warning bells screaming in Jace’s head.

“I’m taking my parabati to the infirmary.  I’m sure you can find your own way to the subcells and Jonathan for the review with the Silent Brother.”  Alec informed the envoy, pulling Jace against him to help him the rest of the way towards his goal.

She curled her lips in a grimace.  “You trust your demon too much.  It will kill you.”  She spun on her heel and stalked away.

Alec released a breath and Jace could feel tension bleed out of Alec’s shoulders before he tightened his hold around Jace’s side guiding him to the infirmary.

The cold fear started to melt away against Alec’s side even as Jace tried to convince himself to pull away.

_I might be possessed.  I might be possessed._

The cold chant continued through Jace’s mind as Alec spoke to a medic, continued when Alec eased him onto one of the beds.

When the medic cut his shirt away revealing the shield of mind rune Jace could feel Alec freeze, even though he had remained standing at his side.

“I’ll order the needed drinks and herbs for you to eat to ensure any possession does not take effect.”  The medic informed Jace, swabbing the area around his neck and side where the creature and injured him.  “You must remain in the infirmary.  And unlike that other medic, I will not let you sneak out for a mission after a day.”  The medic explained to Jace with a stern smile.

Jace glanced over at Alec in the hopes he could pull rank.

“You stay here.”  Alec commanded staring down at the shield rune scrawled across Jace’s stomach with a worried frown.  “I’m not losing you to some demon.”

Once the medic had left to fulfill the required medicine Jace needed Alec sat down on the bed beside Jace, running his hand along the shield of mind rune.

“Did you draw it before or after you suspected yourself of possession?”  Alec demanded cautiously.

Jace kept clenching and unclenching his hand trying to push the images that demon had forced him to see in its dying moments away.

“After.”  Jace swallowed back the bile again.  “I sent pictures to Izzy with a request to get an autopsy team out there.  I could not recognize the creature.  Not even sure if it was a demon.”  He could not look at Alec, kept seeing the blood pour from his chest and the head rolling.  He brought a hand up to his mouth and swallowed again tasting bile.

Alec hovered his hand over the claw marks before touching Jace’s shoulder just below the jagged wound the sharp teeth had torn into his neck.  “I felt this burning through my neck in my veins.”  Alec whispered.

Jace stopped clenching his fist, slowly looking up to meet Alec’s dark gaze.

They had always known when the other was injured even something as simple as a slice across the hand.  But what Alec implied spoke of a further linking of their souls.

_That energy I felt surge through me._

The medic returned carrying a tray with five separate cups, all smelling of earth, grass, and flowers.  “Drink all of them.  Start right to left.”  The medic informed setting the tray next to Jace’s bedside and folding his arms to ensure Jace did as directed, a glinting needle held in his hand that looked like it might double as a stele.

The first cup tasted bitter and left Jace’s upset stomach roiling further.

The second was not much better.

Jace sent a glance towards Alec and the medic, both had their arms crossed waiting for him to finish.

_Couldn’t get the nice pretty medic today._

Jace sent a glare at the stern medic and picked up the third cup.  It smelled like rancid poison instead of flowers now.

“Drink it, Jace.”  Alec ordered a harsh edge to his voice.

Jace looked down at what used to be a fairly clear drink, it appeared muddy and brown swirling with muck.

He could feel his heartbeat slowing down.

_“Kill him.”_

He recognized that voice now, the Seelie Queen.

Jace lunged off the infirmary bed towards Alec going for his artery.

Alec’s longer reach caught him around the throat, effectively cutting off his attack and breathe in a second and slammed him back into the infirmary bed, a hand pressed against the parabati rune.

Jace felt something sharp go into his arm followed by another burning sensation and then fire.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_I’m getting really sick of waking up in the infirmary._

Jace groaned at the ache in his neck and throat.

Blinking his eyes open he glanced around the room to find Maryse sitting at his bedside, holding his hand.

“Maryse?”  Jace croaked.  His side, neck, and lower leg all burned.

Maryse startled from her hunched position back into her usual straight backed stance.

“Good.  You are awake.”  Maryse tucked invisible hair behind her ear, smoothing out her clothes with a hand.  “You survived some unknown parasite the Seelies have attached to some of their people.  We are unsure if this was a direct attack towards this Institute or if this parasite is something new that escaped the Seelie realms.” 

_Awesome.  I had bugs crawling around inside me._

Jace felt his skin crawl and his stomach rolled at the idea, reached up to touch the thick bandages at his neck.

Maryse handed him a steaming drink that smelled like flowers.  “Our results show this parasite is akin to a Seelie mind control.  Alec, the medics, and the Clave’s Silent Brother were successful in removing the parasites.  You were lucky a Silent Brother was on site and that Alec was directly next to you when those parasites took over.”

Jace downed the whole thing before he could think about it.  He did not want a repeat of earlier.  And refused to think about mind controlling undead monsters crawling around his body telling him to kill.  He swallowed down the dregs of the tea and nearly choked.  Those bugs wanted Alec dead.

_At least Alec is not here._

“Where’s Alec?”  Jace asked as the herbal medicine soothed his throat.  He pushed himself up to a sit and began searching for his shirt in the nearby drawers.

“He is fine.  He was required to continue his duties with the Clave envoy.”  Maryse gave him a small smile.  “I do not think she was pleased to be left waiting.”  Maryse reached out to grip his shoulder.  “Jace, your angel blood is getting stronger.  Half the bugs the medics and the Silent Brother pulled from your body were already dead.”

Ice shot down Jace’s spine.  He suspected the parabati bond not his angel blood decimated those parasites inside him.

Finally managing to locate a shirt that Alec must have left him since it was a different color than what he had been wearing earlier.  He pulled the dark shirt on.

“Want to explain why you went out on mission, solo.”  Maryse clipped in a stern tone.  “You risked your own life.  You risked Alec’s life when you returned.  What did it want you to do?”

“I picked a small mission.  I did not think it would end like this.”  Jace said grabbing the pants from the drawer next and wriggling into them under the covers.  Admitting those bugs wanted him to kill Alec would ensure he would not see his parabati and Jace was selfish enough to not allow that.

“Precisely.  You did not think.”  Maryse rubbed her head and sighed.  “I raised you better than that Jace.  You know the rules and why you always take a mission with at minimum two people.”  She glanced over to the closed door to Jace’s room.  “Is this about the Clave being here?  I understand how much you dislike them considering how often they have punished you and everything you have been through since Clary stumbled into our lives.”

Jace resolutely did not pause in finishing getting dressed.  Once dressed he tossed the sheets off and rolled up his pant leg to inspect a spot that had been paining him.  A strange rune stood out on his leg surrounded in angelic symbols.

“Jace.”  Maryse snapped.

He yanked his pant leg down, gaze snapping to Maryse, his brow creased in confusion.

“You go out solo again and I will be forced to send you for a psych eval.  The last time you started going out solo you were possessed.  When I took over as Head of the Institute when Alec got sick he already had a psych eval drawn up for you, but had never pushed it through.  You pull another stunt like this and I will take you off duty until you get your head on straight.”  Maryse ordered.

_Definitely do not want some stranger poking around in my head telling me how to think._

“I’ll talk to Alec.  And make sure I bring him or Izzy with me from now on.”  At her disbelieving stare, Jace added.  “Promise.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_“Can you feel it?”_

_“Always.”_

_“Use it!”_

The memory of the chrysalis screamed through Alec from the power the Silent Brother emitted and he was not even the one being interrogated.  He locked his legs against the pressure of angelic power and kept his arms crossed, silently thanking seeing Jace’s shield of mind rune which he had etched onto his own skin on the way down here.

Jonathan picked himself up off the floor where he had been screaming a moment before, glaring at the Clave envoy.  “You’ll be screaming.”  He spat some blood out of his mouth.  “And begging when I am through with you.”  Jonathan growled.

Jessica, the Clave envoy, barely twitched from her spot standing with arms crossed as the Silent Brother used his enhanced angelic powers to ensure Jonathan answered.

Alec understood today would end in torture, Jonathan had known as well.  Yet, Alec had not anticipated Jessica’s viciousness towards Jonathan.  Every answer he had answered already at the Silent City and this was just a statement of power.

_Power, good or evil was still power._

Alec shifted slightly when Jessica brought out her stele and a chunk of electrum.

“You want to know what agony feels like demon?”  She snarled enraged from the same answers she had already read, she pressed the electrum into his arm and growled annoyed when his skin did not react, pushing her stele to Jonathan’s arm.  “You destroyed everything, destroyed so many lives, my life.  Tell us how to destroy the other hellish realms.  How to reach the other gates to the souls tortured there.”

Jonathan just smiled, daring her to inflict the pain he knew he could handle.  “I don’t follow your orders.”  He nodded his red head towards Alec.  “I follow his.”

_The choice between one evil and another.  There was no choice between the two evils, you disposed of both or channeled it for your own._

Jessica started to etch the agony rune into Jonathan’s skin, her blonde ponytail pulled back exposing her neck.

“Jonathan, be ruthless.”  Alec uttered the command just loud enough for the Clave envoy to hear him.

For one heartbeat Alec watched as Jessica paused in drawing the agony rune before Jonathan exploded out of the chair breaking her arm and ensnaring the stele from her grip, pressing it into her neck before the Silent Brother could lift his arms and wield his angelic power.  Blood trickled down from where Jonathan had the stele pressed into Jessica’s neck.

“What are you doing?”  Jessica screamed terrified.  The Silent Brother brought up his arms, Alec could feel the pressure in the air of that angelic power about to be unleashed.

“Showing you control.”  Alec found himself smirking even as he felt the Silent Brother’s power building towards his skull.  “Jonathan drop her.  And mercy.”

Jonathan dropped her immediately, stepping over her gasping form easily and approached Alec before turning to face the Silent Brother the stolen stele in his grip.

“I’ll chop and slice her up if you want.”  Jonathan said casually, studying the silent brother who had paused in his attack now that Jessica was not in immediate danger.

Alec let out a slow breath.  Counting on the Silent Brother to adhere to their code to not interfere unless fully forced had been a bet.

Alec stepped around Jonathan kneeling before the Clave envoy where she lay holding her neck.  “I control him.  No one else.  He remains here.  You will not send another soul into those hellish realms.”  He dropped a charred mess before her, feeling the Silent Brothers power easing off their minds.  “That is all that remains of your symbols you want to understand.  I will tell you the reasons Jonathan remains alive tomorrow when I call you to my office.”  Alec stood up to look down at the blonde woman, blood trickling slowly from her neck under her hand.  “Remember that I let you live today.”

Alec turned away and opened the door to the interrogation room.

“If the answer does not lay in Jonathan’s blood then it must lay in yours, Alexander.”  Jessica growled as she picked herself up from the floor, panting as she held her broken limb.

_It does._

Alec turned towards her.  “I knew you would ask that.  I did destroy Edom.”  He pulled out a vial, setting the filled vial on the floor before him.  “You won’t find anything in my blood either.”

Jonathan made an abortive gesture as if he would snatch the vial from the ground but held back and instead smiled deviously at the Clave envoy and gave the Silent Brother a mocking bow before exiting the room.

Alec turned and left the room as well, letting out a breath only when they reached the elevator and stepped inside, pressing the button back to the ground floor.

“We could always crucify her.”  Jonathan suggested mildly inspecting his nails and picking some of the blood out from under them.

“She is an example.  I need her alive.  The Clave needs to understand I control you.  And if I want to implement the Downworld into my plans I need the Clave to bend to my will.  Leadership is a delicate balance between respect, vision, and fear.”  Alec explained leaning his head against the wall.

_Don’t second guess._

Angel, he was tired.  The entire day had torn at every vestibule of patience and will he could muster.  And it was not over.  He needed to go back and check on Jace before figuring out his next move towards the Clave to keep Jonathan alive and push his Downworlder agenda forward.

He could feel that dark call hovering inside himself, wanting to darken his veins again.

“Find what the other four clave envoys are doing and what they are asking about.  Involve Izzy if you need to.”  Alec ordered Jonathan, opening his eyes enough to look over at the red head who stood tracing the partial agony rune across his arm.  “Sleep first.”  Alec commanded.

The elevator door pinged open.

“Life is a struggle.”  Alec reminded Jonathan when the red head did not move immediately.

“Pain means you are alive.”  Jonathan responded tonelessly before exiting the elevator.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“You are released from the infirmary so long as you crash with me tonight.  You get to return tomorrow morning for a checkup.”  Alec informed Jace as he strode into his medical room.  “Izzy has been working through the autopsy on the creature you killed, so we’ll have more data tomorrow about if it was a true attack or something that escaped the Seelie realm.”

Jace nearly did a double take when Alec came in.  Dark circles, pale, and an unseen weight to his shoulders, the brief carefree parabati Jace had glimpsed the night before ground away under the leadership Alec held throughout the day.

“I am the one that got beat up by the evil Kelpie of parasitic hell.  And you look worse than me.”  Jace pointed out, eyes tracking Alec’s movements and scanning his body.

Alec crossed his arms, mouth and eyes going hard.  “Explain why you went out on a solo mission.”  Alec completely disregarded Jace’s observation, which just furthered Jace’s concern.

Jace ran his hand through his blond hair pushing it out of his face.  “Can we talk about this when we get to your room?”  Jace asked praying Alec did not push for Jace to go to his room, he could not see that place right now.

Alec’s expression instantly softened.

Upon arriving at Alec’s room Jace felt coils of fear and nervousness begin to bubble up.  He hated discussing feelings and he had already promised Maryse and Alec he would discuss what those parasites wanted him to do.  The fact it reminded him closely of the Owl did not help matters.

“Jace.”  Alec said pulling out the desk chair and sitting down watching as Jace paced back and forth in the room.

Jace dragged his hands through his blond hair again, trying to rein in his thoughts into something he could spit out.

All that came to him was the cycle of Clary lying dead and now Alec getting beheaded by his own hand.

_At least I’m not in my own room where the Owl sent me._

Jace searched Alec’s room frantically ensuring there were no bodies lying on the ground.  Dresser over there, bed there.

_What was it Simon had said to focus on?_

“Jace.”  Alec gripped Jace’s shoulders halting his pacing.

_When did he move?_

Jace stared into Alec’s brown eyes a moment, emotions surging to the surface inside him, to many to grasp onto anything concrete, hands forming into fists.

Alec slid his hands up to hold Jace’s face gently.  “Breath.”

Jace gasped an inhaled breathe, feeling his lungs fill with air again.

“Take a minute.  Then tell me what you feel.”  Alec told him softly.

It was not the repeated question of why a solo mission Jace had expected, it caught him off guard and left him following Alec’s command.

Jace closed his eyes and shook out of Alec’s grasp, Alec let him go easily.  Jace stood still in the room.

Jace stared at that room blankly, the memory of the Owl’s cage had been so similar.  Its four walls filled with weapons he could not kill himself with.  Caged, helpless, and afraid as it destroyed lives with his body.

An urge to run from Alec shot through Jace and he dug his nails into his palms still clenched in a fist.  He did not want Alec to see him break under his own emotions.

The same emotions of fear and paranoia Jonathan kept inducing in him on a daily basis, oscillating in intensity every time Jace dropped his guard.  All of it coalescing into a single command from the Seelie parasites.

“I don’t want to kill you, Alec.  Please.”  Jace whispered, shaking his head back and forth to keep the sharp feeling behind his eyes from drawing forth.

“Jace you kept pulling me back from the edge when I felt like I was about to lose control.  You aren’t going to hurt me either.  Tell me what you feel right now.”  Alec stated watching him carefully, head tilted slightly towards the ground as if to appear nonthreatening.

Jace shook his head again, not meeting Alec’s gaze.  Admitting weakness was tantamount to self-destruction.

_Only I kept demanding Alec to show his weakness to me.  Over and over._

Alec stood near him, but did not say anything, did not even twitch at the admission from Jace.  Patiently waiting for the answer to his question.

“I feel paranoid.  And futile.”  Jace whispered, his entire body sagged from the admission.

_Helpless._

That helpless feeling lead towards everything Jace felt.  Helpless to keep his parabati from falling to darkness, helpless to protect anyone he cared about, and helpless to stop himself from possession again.

“Jace…”  Alec’s deep voice held both a request for more and a mild warning.

Jace understood the warning, he was probably the furthest thing from futile in Alec’s mind.  Returning his soul and their linked bond.

Jace cleared his throat before he started speaking.  “The Owl started by torturing me with images of Jonathan guiding me to kill Clary.  Those parasites showed me killing you.  And I can’t trust my own sight.  I can’t trust my own mind and I’m not even possessed.  I just had bugs crawling around in my head.”  Jace shuddered, he could feel the crescent indentations in his palms start to slice.

“It’s fear, Jace.  You fear possession enough that you second guess yourself.  You’ve been doing this for months since the Owl initially took over.  It has become a learned response.  It can also be unlearned, just like anything.”  Alec said still not moving from his spot, but Jace could feel his eyes burning into his back.

Jace turned around to face Alec glaring into those dark brown eyes a moment before he had to drop his heterochromia gaze to the floor.  “Just like you learned how to infect yourself with demon ichor?  Was not very safe for you.”  Jace bit out angrily.  He did not like the wound Alec’s words tore open realizing just how deep it ran.  Even if he was the one to initiate this stupid conversation.

Surprisingly, Alec barely moved, just calmly surveyed Jace, a darkness swirled in his eyes for a moment but vanished when Alec blinked.  “Do you feel unsafe?”  Alec questioned.

Jace rocked back on his heels, eyes going wide.

He always felt unsafe, except with Alec.  That time spent locked in their own world was the only time he felt safe and everything fell away lost within the bond until he could blank under that heat from Alec, until he could piece himself back together with whatever Alec gave back.  That addicting heat he despised admitting he needed, just as often as he found himself demanding Alec to relinquish his control to him and lose himself in that heat.  But that was not the real answer to the question.  He was a soldier, a shadowhunter, his line of work would never allow him to be completely safe.  His paranoia towards Jonathan felt unwarranted now.  Jonathan had proven over and over he would protect Alec at least.  The parasites were dead.  Lilith and the Owl were both dead.

For some reason, that logical note took a moment to sink into Jace’s brain.

_They are dead.  I do not need to cling to a dead memory._

But even with these thoughts Jace knew he felt afraid and angry of ever becoming possessed again.

“Maybe?”  Jace swallowed and grit his teeth against an urge to scream.  “I don’t want to be possessed again.”  Jace choked the words out of an impossibly tight throat even as his gaze swung back to Alec’s darker one.

“Facilis descensus averno.”  Alec recited their old comrade phrase they used to pull each other out of dark places.  It had been ages since Jace had heard it from Alec.  “Look at your leg.”  Alec commanded softly.  “It’s a derivative of an anti-possession rune.”

Jace pulled up his pant leg inspecting the strange rune that still burned against his skin.  Most runes would fade their burn within a few minutes, this one continued to sear lightly.  “We don’t have any anti-possession runes…”  Jace realized aloud, glancing up at Alec searching his face trying to decipher what he saw in those dark eyes.

“It’s not Nephilim.”  Alec stated, something uncomfortable slid through Alec’s eyes, something that appeared like guilt.

Jace snapped his gaze back down to the apparently demonic rune, eyes going wide as he searched for any dark lines of infection, there were none.

_What the hell?_

“Jonathan wanted to ensure his own soul never became entangled with a greater demon.  He and Magnus have been studying precisely how to do that under the guise of finding a cure for Simon’s vampirism.”  Alec explained shifting in the room to sit down on the bed further away from Jace.  “We discovered that rune fairly recently.  You are the third person to have the demonic derivative etched on your skin, it will fade within a week.  I drew it on you when the medic and Silent Brother left after the procedure.”

Jace stared back down at his leg.  The implications in creating a new rune that Jonathan made, for some reason it did not make him sick.

_Guess new rune making runs in the Morgenstern family._

A protection from his own fear as he finally found his hand unclenching from its fist.  He did not need to run through the cycle of fingers tonight.

“Alec.”  Jace whispered, he could not voice the relief that rune gave him.

He watched as tension bled out from Alec’s shoulders as he eased down on the bed motioning for Jace to join him.

Jace crawled over to him burrowing next to his body and kicking off his boots, relishing as Alec’s arms came around him securely.

“Since we’re having this heart-to-bleeding-heart want to tell me how you have been doing since the rest of the darkness was pushed out?”  Jace asked into the darkness, hoping to shift the conversation away from his own demons.

Alec shifted slightly a vague tension returning to his body.  “Eight weeks.  That’s how long it will take before I know I have it beaten fully.”  Then quieter.  “I always gave in after a week.  It feels different this time though, easier to resist.”

_Bet I can speed that up.  Parabati bond activation works wonders._

Jace threw a leg over Alec, crawling on top of him until he could hover directly over Alec’s mouth, meeting his eyes.  “Bet I can last longer than you.”  Jace challenged with a cocky grin.

Alec gave him a deadpanned glare, but Jace could see the flickers of a smile forming.  “There is a Silent Brother wandering our halls and you are insatiable.  I’m trying to open up to you here, not rip your clothes off.”

Jace leaned down to kiss him but Alec turned away.

“No, Jace.  I haven’t slept properly in weeks.”  Alec said but there was a hint of a smile in his voice.  “Besides I am not having sex with you until you are cleared by the medic, you might have bugs in you still.”

Jace drew back appearing affronted, but concern mixed in underneath his expression.  “You saying you think I have a Seelie STD.”  Jace actually found himself let out a small huff of laughter.  “I burned those bugs up.”  He pointed out.

Alec hit his shoulder lightly, but the smile had formed.  “You burnt most of them up.  Not all.  Now lay down so I can actually sleep a full night for once.”

Jace lay down next to Alec, moving closer until he could feel all of Alec against him.  He could feel Alec matching his movements until they were comfortable.

“Alec?”  Jace pushed again.

“Go to sleep, Jace.”  Alec grumbled exhausted, eyes closed.

Jace found he could not let it go, it was a question that had bothered him for months now.  “Did I ever reach you all those times?”

Alec cracked his dark eyes open, before opening them all the way to study Jace.  “You reached me every time, even before you gave my soul back, you reached me.”  Alec reached out a hand to run it through Jace’s hair gently, a small regretful smile forming on his lips.  “I find myself losing myself to this dream of being with you.  And I could let myself get lost with you.  The power, all my responsibilities, the tough decisions, everything I have done melts away for a little while, for a moment when I’m with you.”

Jace pressed his lips against Alec’s neck.  “You have me.”  Jace whispered.

Alec flinched.

“You have my soul, my body.”  Jace murmured, pressing another kiss into Alec’s neck mouthing the last words he still could not bring himself to speak aloud.

_My heart._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace jolted alert from someone entering Alec’s office far too early in the morning.  Plus the fact the door had been locked prior allowing Alec some peace before the influx of people swarming the three Head of the Institute offices began.

The door shut as Jace grabbed his seraph blade spinning around to face the red haired man who appeared to be twirling something shiny that looked suspiciously like lock picks and wearing a grin.

“Get out!”  Jace yelled, standing up from the black couch he had been dozing on before his own day needed to begin.

“Oh.  You’re here.  I kind of hoped you were still in the infirmary shouting blasphemous epiphanies about the Seelie Court.”  Jonathan drawled to Jace, before walking across the room and nudging Alec who had not bothered to look up from whatever work he was reading.

Jace stared, gaping before screwing his face up into something that resembled a glare of irritation.  “Shouldn’t you be out lurking for those epiphanies?”  Jace returned.

“Pure one, Magnus found the cure.”  Jonathan stated loudly when Alec still did not move.

Alec snapped his head up eyes going wide as he looked up at Jonathan.

Jace snorted back a laugh at the startled expression before frowning in confusion.  Jonathan grinned down at the dark haired man.

Alec groaned, dropping his head back down and rubbed the back of his head and neck.  “Angel, Jonathan.  I told you to rest.”  Alec glanced back up at the red head, his expression more in control.  “Which cure?  I had you studying several.”  He leaned back in his ornate chair before holding out his hand to Jonathan who gave him the arm with the agony rune emblazoned on it.  Alec began drawing a few healing runes near it.

“You aren’t concerned he just broke into your office?”  Jace snapped, mildly irritated at the clear ease between the two which still bothered him immensely.  More bothered by the fact Alec showed no qualms about touching the ex-demon, it always made Jace’s stomach tighten seeing it.

“After yesterday I found rest plainly disinteresting.  Vampirism.  Although I think Magnus will only be willing to perform it once every century, maybe twice.  He figured it out actually since we held back the true design we are aiming for.  Although, I do believe he is discovering that as well.  Can’t wait for that discussion.  Should be exceptionally entertaining.”  Jonathan informed Alec in glee, glancing over his healed arm now with a muttered “Pure one.”

Alec rubbed his right arm, before shaking his head.  “What’s the cost?”  He questioned.

“This is seriously happening?  You just discovered a cure to vampirism.  What were you looking for to begin with?”  Jace demanded, grabbing Alec’s arm and hauling him around to face him.

“We were looking for a way to seal the rest of Edom’s power in my arm, a way to remove darkness from souls, and a way to extract imbued power that had sunk into genetics among other things.  Not as relevant now, but the progress Magnus and Jonathan made was impressive.  Magnus’s father was Asmodeus, when Edom fell he gained much of that power.”  Alec explained, reaching out a hand to touch Jace’s side where the parabati rune rested letting out a breath when he touched it.

Jace stood frozen, both from the words and the small touch.

_Angel, no wonder you don’t sleep._

Jace had been jostled awake that morning by Alec insisting they needed to visit the infirmary for Jace’s checkup before Alec could start their day.  Thankfully, for Jace’s sanity everything came back clean.  Yet Jace could not understand how Alec functioned on a daily basis with so little sleep and had a sneaking suspicion Alec might be abusing his stamina rune or reapplying the caffeine rune more often than was probably healthy.

Between the Clave, the Institute, this, and everything Jace actually knew about he doubted he would sleep much either in Alec’s place.

Jace stared at Alec suddenly wishing the Iratze rune did not heal all the superficial scars, wanting to know just how many lay across Alec’s body that now lay hidden in memory.  Curious just how many he was unaware of that lay in Alec’s mind, invisible to everyone.  Just like Jace’s own scars from his life.

Jonathan grinned at the two showing his teeth, flashing white before circling around the pair and stopping in Alec’s line of sight.  “Pure one.  It requires gallons of dark rich ichor.  Not as much as the masterpiece, but it works.”  A note of disassociated glee formed in Jonathan’s voice.  “We could use the blonde Clave woman that would be fun.”

Alec pulled back from Jace and rolled his eyes, a surprising gesture considering the violence Jonathan just suggested.  “What type of blood does it require?”

_Alec’s not actually considering that, right._

Jonathan huffed, crossing his arms with a small twist of his mouth as if he was disappointed.  “Demonic.  And a tinge of Shadowhunter for the counterpoint, mostly it’s just symbols and runes that you flood with the ichor.  And a bunch of herbs that Magnus understands better than myself.”

Jace doubted what Jonathan considered “tinge.”

“Wait.  Are you actually considering this, putting a real vampire through this idea?  Using a shadowhunter?”  Jace questioned Alec, unsure what Alec really planned to do with this knowledge.  Jace shook his blond head.  “You cannot release this knowledge to anyone.”

It would be like Simon painting a target on Jace’s arterial vein, only it would be Magnus targeted.

Alec turned to him, brow furrowed slightly.  “We are not releasing this knowledge to anyone.  I intend to use it once, provided Magnus agrees fully.”  Alec got up and started getting ready for the day.  “Simon will be the vampire changed.  He already has the most angelic blood in his system regardless.  Higher chance of this working.”

Jace gaped for a moment before surging forward and getting in Alec’s face.  “Do you hear yourself?  Higher chance?  Simon is not a statistic.”

“This is my choice.  To fix Clary’s decision to destroy Simon’s life, to give him a new one.”  Alec snapped reaching out and closing the large file he had been working on, picking it up and heading towards the filing cabinet.

Jace drew back slightly, brow furrowing and eyes narrowing.  “You made Jonathan so now you want to recreate Simon?”  Jace questioned harshly.

Alec paused near the filing cabinet, glancing over at Jace, eyes narrowing dangerously on what he found there.  “Magnus will be remaking Simon.  Not me.  I am not touching that darkness, I already know exactly what will happen if I do.”  Alec stated, his voice barely wavered.  “It’s power, Jace.

_That’s a small relief._

“Well, that ruined that idea.”  Jonathan muttered from his side of the room, at Alec’s glare he shrugged.  “You were very bloody minded before your parabati fixed you.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy you this way too.  But it was fascinating to watch your descent into madness.  It was extremely educational for me.”

Alec eyed Jonathan with something that appeared like fondness before his brow furrowed further.  “Thanks.”  Alec replied flatly.

Jonathan smirked.

“And you consider him your friend?”  Jace asked crossing his arms across his chest in his usual dominant stance.

Alec glanced over at Jonathan with a small smile.  “Yes.  He dragged me out of the well of souls and kept me sane.” Jonathan snorted back what could have been a laugh, Alec grimaced.  “Sane-ish.  Besides, he did not throw me into another hellish realm either.”

“And I regret it every day.”  Jonathan said flippantly.  “So what does sanity feel like today?”  Jonathan drawled heading back over towards the door and letting himself out without waiting for Alec to answer.

Jace crossed his arms and glanced over at Alec with a pointed look.

“What?  He wanted to throw me into another hell realm to burn up when we first crawled out of Edom.”  Alec stated simply.

Jace found himself smiling internally, it was the first time Alec had mentioned Edom without anger laced behind the words.

“And?”  Jace prompted.

Alec grabbed a different folder from inside his desk, using his hip to close the drawer as he began flipping through the contents.  “Clave dignitary and the Silent Brother will be here in an hour.  Jonathan has already been assigned a different mission for the day.  Can you speak to Simon about this and do not tell Izzy yet.  I’ll talk to Magnus.”

Jace spun his stele in his hand obstinately and moved over towards the door to block Alec’s path.  “What does sanity feel like?”  Jace repeated the question Jonathan had asked.

Alec froze, closing his eyes for a moment before licking his lips.  “It feels like fire today.”

 

 


	8. Dark Stained Soul Ch 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seelie Court and finding your way back to each other.  
> Comments always appreciated and adored.

**Dark Stained Soul**

By Evey

Chapter 8

 

The morgue smelled faintly of formaldehyde and cleaning solutions as Alec stepped inside the doors, spying his sister’s dark hair through another set of doors working at the computer wrapping up the autopsy on the Seelie creature.

He glanced at the floor which had been washed clean of any trace of blood but the stench of iron still hung heavy in the air.

Watching Jace convulse with the silent demand to kill those around him as Alec had poured energy through their parabati bond had driven a desire to tear apart this creature’s corpse until nothing remained but dead ichor.

_“What does sanity feel like?”_

Fire had been his response, but he doubted Jace understood fully what he meant.  Today was not a cleansing fire of passion, but a fire burning to destroy what had attempted to take Jace from him.  A cold fire that remained vanished from his veins until he decided to let it in again.

All it would take was one demon and he could burn the Clave members as he had melted those demons.  Burn the Seelies and their parasites.

_And it would accomplish nothing._

“Alec?”  Izzy called pushing open the door.  “I thought I spied you out here.  I’ve got the toxicology report completed at last and sent it to Mom and Lydia already.  You too.”

Alec blinked letting himself fall back into that suspended calm he had found the other night.  Somewhere halfway between the brilliant parabati bond and the empty hole the power left in his blood.  He was well aware it would not last and that he would slide one direction or another given time.

_Don’t slide towards the darkness…_

“Tell me if it was a deliberate attack or not.”  Alec demanded shifting away from the strong iron scent and following Izzy as she wandered over to the section to remove and hang up her white lab coat and head out of the morgue.

“To be honest, it is hard to tell.  That particular Seelie creature normally does not appear outside the Seelie realms.  I did some digging and there have been a scattering of reports of the same creature showing up but they are rare.  The mind control bugs have only been depicted in one other account I can find and that infected kelpie succeeded in killing the current Head of the Institute in Budapest and that was fifty years ago.  No one ever figured out why he was targeted either.”

“Alright.  I’ll send out a mass alert to all the shadowhunters about possible Seelie infections.  Jace is fine, the Silent Brother activated the heavenly power in his blood and purged them out.”

Izzy shuddered, brushing her hair out of its ponytail as they walked.  “Yeah, somehow just the thought of those worms slithering around my body makes me want to vomit.  How’d he take it when he woke up?”

_It tore open a wound that needed to drain._

Alec stopped in the hallway when there was a lull in traffic.  “Jace is fine.  I have assigned both of you a clandestine mission that will require Simon’s presence.  Once it is completed Simon will not be allowed in this Institute until the Clave is gone.  Jonathan and Magnus already have the assignment details, go with Jace and meet them at Magnus’s.”  Alec ordered her crossing his arms.

Izzy narrowed her dark eyes at her brother.  “What aren’t you telling me?”

_A lot._

Alec hardened his gaze feeling his lips thin.  “It is covert for a reason, Izzy.  I am not discussing the details in the hallway.”  He continued walking along the hallway towards the Main Ops Center.

Alec spotted Jessica’s blonde hair flash through the crowd and the looming Silent Brother directly behind her as they approached the Main Ops Center.  She sent him a victorious smile.

_Damnit._

He had poured his blood over electrum several times before placing it in that vial given to Jessica the other day.

_It would have destroyed any traces of demon essence.  If there even is any._

“We are going to have so much fun today, Mr. Lightwood.”  The Clave envoy stated coyly stopping in front of himself and Izzy with a small triumphant smirk.  “You broke my arm.  Now I get to break you.  Your demon would not give me the answers I desired.  You will.”

Cold dread filled Alec’s veins.

_I am not the power.  She cannot know._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“We have to go.  Now.”  Izzy said as she strode into the training room Jace was currently training Max.

Jace blocked one of Max’s attacks with the staff easily noting the opening Max left on his side and tapping it with his other sword.  “Tighten up the swing.  You left yourself open.”  Jace instructed Max.

Izzy grabbed his sword arm and stepped between the two practicing.  “We need to go now.”  She repeatedly demandingly.

Time stopped.

Ice flooded his veins as panic set in at Izzy’s clear insistence that something was wrong.

_Did Clary say something?_

“Why!?”  Jace demanded breaking free of her grip on his sword arm and returning both weapons to their racks.  Max did the same and picked up a staff instead to start wailing on the kick boxing bag with it clearly eavesdropping.

“I don’t know, but Alec wants us out of the Institute.  Apparently, he broke the Clave envoy’s arm yesterday.”  Izzy replied shoving open the nearest exit door and letting sunlight and fresh air into the room.  “Pretty sure she is on a warpath now.”

Jace followed her outside with a small apologetic smile towards Max who just rolled his eyes and huffed in annoyance at not glimmering anything from the conversation.

“He told me there was some clandestine mission for us to do with Simon at Magnus’s.”  Izzy continued once the door closed behind them and she had taken off at a brisk walk, body tense and screaming pissed off.

_I thought blonde and severe was after Jonathan.  And that mission got set up awfully fast._

“Damnit, Alec.”  Jace growled, clenching his fists.  He had not thought Alec would set it up within hours of speaking with Jonathan.  “That mission has nothing to do with Jonathan.”  He cocked his head in thought.  “Mostly.  Why does he want us out of the Institute if the Clave is on a warpath for Jonathan?”

Izzy glanced over at him her dark eyes narrowing.  “Mostly?  At any point you assholes can start filling me in further.  Particularly about the fact Alec _made_ Jonathan.  If the Clave finds that out neither of them are ever walking away alive.  And it is probably that tidbit of information that has us going on this stupid unknown mission as an excuse to get us out of the Institute.”  Her entire body remained tense and irritated at her brother as she stalked along the sidewalk.

Jace stuck to the silence, he did not really want to discuss Alec or Jonathan and hid behind the quiet that had formed.

They were halfway to Magnus’s when Izzy slowed to a more normal paced walk, forcing Jace to do the same.

“Why didn’t you or Alec tell me about him remaking Jonathan into a shadowhunter?”  Izzy questioned hurt and sad, brushing her hair out of her face where the breeze had pushed it.

_Because it was a big enough mess to begin with all the whiplash._

And Jace had selfishly kept Alec’s secret in fear of what that knowledge would lead to.  Fearing people would see Alec as something to be destroyed.  And he could not lose Alec.

_It was personal._

Even with everything that lay between Alec and Jace, Jace was aware Izzy had reached Alec in a way he had not been able to the other night.

“I should have brought you in earlier.”  Jace admitted glancing over at her.  “I’m sorry I didn’t, might have saved myself some whiplash.”

Izzy quirked an eyebrow up.  “Damn right you should have brought me in earlier.  Can the Silent Brother pick anything up on your parabati rune?  Will Jonathan say anything?  He is undergoing another interrogation today and I don’t trust that Silent Brother to not go poking around inside our heads.”  Izzy twisted her snake bracelet.  “I think Alec might be undergoing interrogation as well.”

_I hope not._

The things that Silent Brother could uncover if he decided to go digging for something other than the mysteries of Jonathan Morgenstern.

There used to be an easy cordoned off area in Jace’s head saying do not entertain these thoughts, ever since Edom he and Alec had smashed through every line and wall those areas should never be ventured for parabati.  And he could not stop.  Did not want to stop.  Jace could feel the pulse in the parabati rune telling him Alec was hurting somewhere.  Could feel a hum in his blood to turn around and get to his other half.

_Don’t tell them anything._

The threat of the Silent Brother ripping them apart, leaving a gaping hole where Alec’s soul had locked itself far deeper than Jace thought possible, sent a fresh bout of dread through Jace.

Could Alec just burrow his way back into Jace’s side as he had done before?

Izzy spoke her thoughts aloud.  “Well, you held both your souls for weeks and did not burn up in heavenly fire or go mad.  Can’t think of anything that would have made that rune on your side-“

“I don’t know!”  Jace screamed whirling on Izzy with what he knew must be a feral look.  “I don’t know if that Silent Brother will find anything or even think to look.  Brother Zachariah knew I had Alec’s soul and never said the bond was corrupted.  I don’t know what that one will see in it.  I don’t know if I should run back now and break him out or let the Clave envoy ask her questions without raising suspicion on our bond.”

The parabati curse had rarely crossed his mind and when it did Jace felt certain that their bond was not warping into whatever legends of insanity they were supposed to.  He felt like himself.  No voices talking to him aside from the worms that thankfully had been burned up in heavenly fire.

_That Silent Brother better not have touched the parabati rune._

Izzy gave him an irritated flat look, reminiscent of her brother before turning and stomping away, pulling her hair up into a ponytail in frustration of the breeze that kept blowing it around.

The rest of the way to Magnus’s they spent in silence.

“Hey guys.  What’s the rush?”  Simon asked as they approached the building.  “Izzy texted secret mission.  Awesome by the way.  Please tell me we get to use wires and drop down into a building like a secret agent.”  He gave Izzy a quick hug which she returned.

Vampire speed must have brought him here in record time, always happy to help.

Jace hit the buzzer to Magnus’s loft.  “No.  All I know is there is going to be a lot of blood.”

Jace felt his own irritation rise at Alec for not fully explaining anything to Izzy, much less giving Jace a chance to discuss the idea with Simon.  Which left him cornered into a path that Simon would undoubtedly choose without hesitation and heedless of any ramifications.

_Just like I did for months, only to get myself killed._

Simon paled, squinting his eyes at Jace trying to determine if Jace was joking or not.

They heard the beep telling them the door was open and the three wandered to the top floor where Magnus pulled open his door for them metal rings glinting on his hands and the metal cuff in his ear as usual.

“I have to admit.  You shadowhunters are never boring.”  Magnus informed them as they filed inside and he shut the door behind them.  “No Alexander or Jonathan, then?”  Magnus questioned with a raised eyebrow, makeup glittering.

“Alec has Clave business to deal with.  We have no idea where Jonathan is.”  Jace said glancing around the room which appeared much the same as any other time he had been here.

Rich ornate carpet, fancy dark furniture, and bookshelves everywhere.

“Worrying, but will make this ritual easier to accomplish without being concerned about getting stabbed in the back.”  Magnus turned to guide them further into the loft.  “Alexander or Jonathan did inform you what you are doing, correct?”  He glanced back at all of them.

At the vaguely blank and equally confused stares Magnus received from all three of them Magnus sighed and rolled his eyes skyward bringing his arms up.

“I suppose mental breakdowns and keeping secrets does make it rather difficult to actually inform anyone of this plan.  Simon we’re turning you into a Shadowhunter.”  Magnus explained his golden cat-eyes flashing.  “You will be giving up your immortality to me if you so desire.  I am already immortal so I do not believe it will affect me much.”

“Yes!”  Magnus had barely finished speaking before Simon blurted the word out.  “I won’t have to drink blood anymore.”  He brought his fists up halfway over his head in a gesture of celebration.  “Thank you.  And I can eat chocolate and steak.  And you know the whole normal life.  Wait, did you say Shadowhunter?”

“Yes and it will hurt.  Immensely.  Are you certain?”  Magus questioned flexing his fingers like a cat before closing them into a loose fist.

Jace put his hand to the parabati rune when another burning pulse of warning went through it.  “Can we hurry this up?  The Clave is doing something to Alec.”  Jace snapped clenching his fists before grabbing his phone and calling Maryse listening as the phone rang for a moment before it went to voicemail.

Magnus guided them upstairs to what Jace supposed was the warlock’s main summoning room.  The last time he had stepped foot in this particular room was when they had summoned the memory demon and Alec had panicked because his feelings for Jace had been revealed.

_“He has loved you far longer than you could possibly understand.”_

So Alec had cared about Jace romantically back then, they were parabati after all.  But Magnus’s statement made Jace question just how much further back it went.

Jace glanced over at the glittery warlock wearing some expensive shirt that Jace wasn’t sure why he bothered even wearing because his entire chest was exposed.

Magnus leaned over and poured the last ingredient of black powder on the floor before handing Simon several herbs to begin chewing.

Simon made a face at the first bite but began studiously chewing.

Another wave of heated pain tore through the parabati bond and he pressed his hand against it itching to return to the Institute.

Magnus stood up snapping his arms out in a flourish of blue magic the black ichor in the various bowls ignited.  “Alright then.  Simon stand in the middle of the symbol and do not move outside those lines the entire time, no matter what you feel.  Isabelle or Jace, see that empty bowl on the far side.  Fill it with your blood.  Simon you better appreciate this, I would not do this for just anyone.  I’m doing this because Alexander requested it and you have been a rather loyal friend to those I care about.”  Magnus instructed before grimacing and muttering.  “I hate blood rituals.” 

“Is that safe?”  Simon swallowed and questioned quickly, glancing between the three of them in concern for their safety.  “I mean has this thing, ritual, been tested?”

“I know it’s safe for Isabelle and should be safe for Jace.  But by my calculations it should function.  Now let me work.”  Magnus ordered with another flourish of blue magic.

_Oh thanks for the vote of confidence._

A spike of anxiety shot down Jace’s spine at the words, trying to figure out why Izzy would be safe but he might not.

Jace walked over to Izzy who had already slashed her wrist to hover over the bowl with a small twisted frown and her eyes creased in concentration.

“Simon.  I’ve given you a lot of my blood now.  You better come out of this whole.”  Izzy worriedly warned Simon standing back up and activating her Iratze.

Jace repeated the same procedure as Izzy when she was done because he certainly owed the vampire quite a bit for keeping his mouth shut about Jace’s angelic blood transforming him into a Daylighter, a vampire that can walk in the sunlight.

Another surge went through his parabati rune followed by something that almost felt cold.  An emotion of rage or power Jace could not fully tell, it left him sweating and pacing the room reaching for Alec through the parabati rune.

Jace growled low in his throat.  He needed to do something, this standing still was driving restless energy into his body.

A scream from Simon broke Jace out of his internal thoughts.  The vampire now knelt on the floor every black powdery line on the floor burning with fire.  Izzy hovered anxiously just outside the circle of flames but did not cross them.

Magnus waved his hand towards a section of the room where what looked like a casket full of black ichor appeared, still chanting in a demonic language.

The smell of rot and death hit Jace a second later right before Magnus poured the whole thing over Simon’s head, washing the scent strongly through the room.  The fire burned higher and hotter rather than being gutted by the wash of liquid.

Simon promptly gagged but managed to not puke.

“Simon.  It’s just like the mark of cain.  You just have to endure it until it is over.”  Izzy called over the hiss of blue magic, flames crackling, and Magnus’s voice.

Jace glanced at Izzy at the comment, eyes narrowing briefly on that particular story he had no idea about.

Magnus continued to speak in some demonic language twisting his arms back and forth as he controlled the power within the spell, sweat beading along his forehead and trailing in rivulets down his chest.

Jace could see the blue power jumping over itself, crawling over Simon’s body pulling chunks out of his skin.  He took a step back away from the burning fire as the heat started to singe his own skin.  He had to give Simon some more respect after this that appeared far more painful than Jace had anticipated Magnus would put him through.

_I agree with Magnus.  Blood rituals suck._

A few minutes later Magnus glowing a brilliant red orange color rather than blue raised his hands up again before dropping his arms to the side with a quick slashing motion.  All the power cut out.

Silence.

Jace registered that Simon was whimpering on the floor and Magnus had collapsed in a seated position on the floor, beaded in sweat and his shirt sticking to him everywhere, his cat-eyes were blazing brightly.  Something like ozone and smoke filled the air everywhere making both Jace and Izzy cough.

“Huh.”  Magnus weaved his hands before him a few times as if entranced.  “Nephilim traces feel quite…”  Magnus sighed.  “Nevermind they burnt up.”

Magnus stood up with a flourish of blue magic and the residue of black powder was gone from the floor leaving behind a blackened floor and a now naked Simon.  Another burst of blue and Simon was clothed.

“Did it work?”  Jace asked tentatively as Izzy stepped cautiously through the blackened floor and helped Simon sit up.

“I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn.  What do you think?”  Magnus stated with a flippant eye roll.  “Simon I suggest you remain here and eat broth, only broth, and sleep.”  He turned back to Jace.  “You can inform the Institute that I will not be available for any business for a couple days.  I may have been given a boost of energy but I require time for it to calm down.”  Magnus snapped his fingers and the clothing that had a few stains of black ichor was replaced with a new outfit, new sparkly makeup included.  Jace could see blue magic arcing across Magnus’s arms in small little hops and jumps, his hair stood up on end, the tips glowing a faint translucence.

“You going to be ok?”  Jace questioned eyeing those blue arcs of power uncomfortably.

Magnus smiled, a small placating twist to his mouth.  “Hmm.  Yes.  This is nothing.  I’ve been through magical influx before, a long time ago.  But I know how to manage it.”  Magnus said wandering over to the alchemy table and beginning to mix a few powders together.  “A balance within ones center.”  He poured a clear liquid into the mixture before downing the small cup.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Name and rank.”

“Alexander Lightwood.  Joint Head of the New York Institute.”  Alec responded.

Jessica sat before him resting one hand against his which had been strapped down, identical to the rest of his limbs with a brown strap.  Her hand was cold and made his skin itch.  The Silent Brother loomed behind him hovering in his peripheral vision.

Alec waited, nerves rattling even as logic told him precisely what to expect.

_Just like yesterday with Jonathan._

“You are the only Shadowhunter to successfully enter a Hellish realm and annihilate it.  Do you understand the importance in that for our world?”  The blonde woman, Jessica, asked tightening her grasp on Alec’s hand until he knew a bruise would start to form.

Alec felt the muscles in his right arm twitch, forced his hand to remain relaxed, his face blank.

“The tactical implications of destroying a second hellish realm is suicide.”  Alec managed to keep his voice from turning into a growl, barely.

Jessica cocked her head, smile still fixed in place.  “One mission.  One chance.  And your demon can go free.”

_Really think I’m that stupid?  I take that mission I die and if I managed to return you will just throw me in the next hellish dimension._

Alec kept his gaze impassively forward.  “I answer to the other Heads of the New York Institute.  Not to you.”

The blonde Clave envoy reached behind her grabbing something and then dropped a file in her lap.  “I think you will accept this mission.”  She nodded her head towards the small grey tray sitting on the table with a lone vial.  “Your fresh blood sample I believe will prove interesting when those results come back.  Jonathan will have bone marrow removed while we discuss events further.”  She patted his hand sending his nerves crawling with ice.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Halfway through Izzy settling Simon down enough that she felt comfortable to leave Jace’s cellphone went off with a message from the Institute that Jonathan Morgenstern was to be immediately detained and returned.

Shortly thereafter Maryse called.

“What’s going on?”  Jace answered his phone.  “Where is Alec?”

Maryse ignored his questions entirely.  “Get Jonathan back.  He just killed two of the Clave members and knocked out ten of our guards on his way out of the infirmary.  He is our ward assigned by the Silent Brothers.  I will not have the Clave destroying our reputation because their stupidity.”

Jace pushed away the strange regret of needing to face off with Jonathan again along with a million questions focusing down to what he required.

“Alright.  Where was he headed?”  Jace touched his side where the parabati rune was heating in pain, sending adrenaline into his body with each wave.

She told him.

“Jace.  He’s a shadowhunter.  The records from the Silent City and our own medical records prove this.  Alec is right, if we start killing people for returning from any type of demonic influence we’ll go down a path that will annihilate our species.  The Clave is torturing them because the answers given were not what they wanted to hear.  It’s a witchhunt.”

Jace paused in his pacing, glancing over towards Izzy and Simon.

This was the first he was hearing of this line of thinking from Maryse.  Granted she had accepted Magnus into the family, he supposed Alec must have convinced her of Jonathan’s rehabilitation somehow as well.

_Great.  I’m the only logical one around here._

He ignored the niggling doubt.

“Go play heroes.  I’ll sit here with my soup and Doctor Strange.”  Simon told Jace when he called for Izzy to hurry up.

Magnus raised his cup of herbs up to them in acknowledgement of their goodbyes, several blue orbs orbiting around him like moons.   Excess magic perhaps.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

The pressure from the Silent Brother probing at his mind increased until Alec had bitten through his lip, tasting iron and salt.  Blood.  That blood had dried ages ago already.

_There was a question.  A question I am supposed to be answering._

The blonde Clave envoy had already sliced the agony rune into his arm and had taken a blood sample.  Every time he thought of it he nearly slipped under the pressure from the Silent Brother.  He did not slip.

_Don’t think about..._

He cut the thought off.  Compartmentalizing his thoughts.

“How did you live through Edom?”

Alec shook his head enough to clear it from the remaining pressure.  “Jonathan disclosed the location and the well of souls.”  He repeated the same answer he had repeated several times in the past hours.

A punch across his face, his teeth clacked together hard sending pain through his jaw.

_Wrong answer.  Again._

Alec grit his teeth, smoothing his tongue along his teeth to ensure there were not any sharp edges now.  “Just because Jonathan killed people as his demonic self does not mean you kill him now.  Do you kill Shadowhunters returning from possession?”  Alec spat glaring at Jessica as she towered over him.

Jessica thinned her lips out clearly displeased with his response and leaned down in his face.  “I know you and he are hiding something.  He went from demonic to a shadowhunter because a bunch of souls.  And you survived it completely intact.  How?”

_I’d argue the intact part._

The Silent Brothers power ratcheted up a notch pressing down on his mind searching for the truth, pain blistered through his eyes forcing tears to spill slowly and left Alec panting against the aching, resounding pressure in his skull.

_Least they don’t have the…  Don’t think about it._

Alec stared her in those hateful eyes of hers.  “The souls healed him and allowed me to survive.”  All answers that had already been given at the Silent City by Jonathan, he had memorized those reports the moment he had been released from his cell months ago now.  He refused to even glance at the Silent Brother in the room.

_Silent brothers are said to wield magic by sacrificing their humanity.  Possibly able to read minds._

All he needed was an opening and blood on the floor and…

_Murder won’t help._

That agony rune sliced into his arm churning up the memory of the red power coursing through his blood and the screams of thousands of souls, their sound becoming mixed with his own cry.

That red potent power, it was all he wanted right now to punch it through her chest, watch as the blood rushed down his arm.

Alec jerked his arm towards her chest, his restraints held, and his side burned as the parabati rune fought against the agony rune.  His arm prickled in remembrance of the darkness.

_I am my power._

Power to resist.  Power to destroy.  Power to change.  Darkness and light what did it matter against this pain.

And all it had taken was two agony runes.  Three.  Four.  Alec found his vision cloudy and he could not make out his own body when he looked down, just a haze of darkened color.

_I never told.  I was good enough.  I have to be good enough._

“What possessed you?”  Jessica snapped in the hazy darkness that clouded his mind and vision.

_Power._

Alec met her eyes slowly, such fury held there all because he would not play her little game.  “Alexander Lightwood, Joint Head of the New York Institute.”  He said.

“Let’s see how you handle my control and mercy.”  She said etching her stele against his skin.

Agony hit his mind, washing everything in red and darkness.

An eternity later and Alec felt the restraints come off, someone moved him forward and he let himself fall too weak to catch himself, he felt arms wrap around him and stop his impact with the ground before lowering him to the floor.

“Alec.  Come on, son.  We need to get you on the stretcher.”

Arms came around him and hauled him onto the stretcher, a floral and metal scent that he had usually identified with his mother.

He tried to open his eyes, but grit held them shut.  He jerked an arm but it barely responded.

“Take it easy.  How do you feel?”  The female voice asked, he could not place it.

Everything hurt, his mind hurt, sweat dripped down his back and clung across his body sticking everywhere, the movement had begun to roil his stomach.  His wrists and legs hurt from the restraints and his throat felt raw and cracked.

_I did not say anything.  Tell me I was good enough.  I didn’t break.  I did not say anything._

“Do you know where you are?”  That female voice questioned again.

Jessica or another female, he could not tell.  The agony rune had eroded away thoughts to nothing but the primal level of survival.

The realization that it might be Jessica touching him hit his awareness.

_Don’t touch me!_

Alec recoiled, or he tried to his muscles did not want to react to the messages sent to them and instead he just ended up tilting himself sideways to hit the floor on his side.  The impact tore his eyes open.  He instantly squinted against the bright light and the dark form hovering near him.  The dark form reformed into Maryse.  His mother, he wanted to break apart just from seeing her.  He noticed Jessica off to the side, arms folded in front of her and scowl even deeper on her face than before.

_I hope you rot in hell._

“Are you quite satisfied now that you have succeeded in forcing our charged ward to run from this Institute and torturing my son?”  Maryse questioned Jessica setting a needle into Alec’s arm and releasing the catch for the IV.

Cold blasted through that vein and crawled along that single line in his arm up through his shoulder to begin to spread to the rest of his body, it brought relief from the burning in his body and the ache in his head.

Maryse continued speaking.  “I have already sent a complaint to the Consul about how you handled this little endeavor.  I want you out of my Institute the moment Consul Jia Penhallow arrives.  I’m certain she will be overjoyed about how you forced a bone marrow draw without anesthesia which prompted the ex-demon into killing two people, fleeing, and now leaving us to track him down.  Again.  The Silent Brotherhood assigned him here, not the Counsel.”  Maryse placed something warm and soft across Alec’s torso and arranged his limbs before strapping them down.

A spike of fear jolted through Alec’s body, instinct screamed to fight and lash out but none of his limbs would function.

“I do hope you have an explanation.”  Maryse said to Jessica lifting up one end of the stretcher and Alec’s world tilted briefly before a medic lifted the other end of the stretcher evening him out.  “Pat her down and bring me the videos of this cell.”  She ordered someone else in the room that Alec could not see.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Maryse had texted Jace and Izzy with a pointed statement saying do not return until advised.

When Jace texted back asking about Alec all he got back was a statement that he would be fine.

Typical Maryse giving the bare minimum of information required until their current mission was completed.

Which left the two of them searching New York for Jonathan, mostly Jace just ended up focusing on killing demons they stumbled across taking out all the mixed up emotions of pain, anger, and fear coming through the parabati bond on black demons dying by his seraph blade.  He understood their chances of locating Jonathan were slim to nil.

_Searching for a needle in a haystack._

“Jonathan is blocking us from tracking him.  Maryse should have let us return by now, Alec is in trouble I can feel it.”  Jace informed Izzy after he had tried tracking the red haired ex-demon for the fifth time that day and came up with nothing again.

Frankly, his heart was not into it.  He had been here before trying to track Jonathan down and it had taken activating his angelic runes to their fullest extent to find him.

_Then why aren’t you?_

Jace wished he had an answer for that himself.  Follow orders like a good soldier, nope.  He followed gut instinct and his heart as much as Valentine tried to drill that out of him.

_Alec trusts him implicitly._

Jace bit back a growl when another heated bout of pain lashed through the parabati rune causing him to stop walking and hunch over.

Izzy stopped beside him tracking Jonathan’s phone with hers which is what they were currently following.  “You alright?”  She questioned concerned and looking down at his hunched form.

“It’s Alec.  Their doing something to him.  We need to go back.”  Jace told her straightening back up once the wave of pain passed.

Izzy frowned at the statement knowing full well Maryse had already told them Alec would be fine.  “We’re almost to Jonathan.  He’s in that marketplace over there.”  Izzy pointed across the street to some kind of fish market.  “And mom said don’t return until she texts again.  Whatever is going on, us going back is going to make it worse.”

Jace noted there were two bodies of water nearby.  A bridge where the river crossed and then the section opened up to the bay.

“He might have gone swimming.  Can’t track him in the water.”  Jace pointed out straightening back up now that the pain had passed.

_Maryse said he would be fine.  I know he is alive._

The logic did not sink in as far as Jace had hoped, leaving him still aching to return to Alec’s side and forgoing the mission.

“Phone would have died, but possible if he ditched it.”  Izzy responded crossing the street towards the fish market which was bustling with mundanes making it hard for Jace to keep an eye on Izzy let alone try and pick out a certain red head that did not want to be found.

They found the phone laying behind one of the fish stands, tucked halfway under a crate.  No Jonathan.

“Great.  We found the phone.”  Jace scooped it up and flipped it over unlocking it and clicked the messages to see if anything of use would come up.  Alec, Magnus, Clary, and surprisingly Izzy were the only contacts on the list.

Clary unexpectedly was the last person Jonathan had messaged.  Clicking it Jace read it over.  All the message read was that Jonathan was sorry and that he would always love her.  Clicking over to Alec’s he mostly found lists of assignments and random comments. One read from Jonathan, _Tell me I’m good._   Another read.   _Do you feel it in the ground?_  The one Jace paused over read.   _How does sanity feel today_?  The response from Alec.  _Blood and darkness_.

Jace checked the date on that response, a few days after the mission to close the demonic rift from forming.

“Anything useful to show us where he went next?”  Izzy asked scanning the area around them still searching for a flash of red hair.

Jace snapped the phone shut.  “No.”  He croaked, blinking back a sharpness.

Izzy snatched the phone from him and started flipping through its contents herself.  “I’m keeping this.  Might explain some things a particular set of parabati refuse to talk about.”  Izzy announced pocketing the cell phone.

_Just drill it in further._

Izzy would take a while to forgive Alec for how much he had withheld.  Would probably be giving Jace an earful right now if she ever caught him still long enough to talk and not on mission.

Jace rubbed his hand across his face.  “Want me to give you a shovel?  Might help with the hole you want to dig for me and Alec.”  Jace stated sarcastically.

Izzy smiled sardonically at him.  “Oh you already dug your grave months ago.  You could use your words and just tell me what I need to know so I don’t need to go snooping or stumble across things I would rather not know about.”  Izzy told him.  “You seem to forget that I worry about you and Alec, especially seeing as you both died at one point this year alone.  Tends to make me a smidgen anxious about secrets.”

Jace swallowed the guilt that brought back down and dropped his gaze from hers.

Another hour of dead ends and Izzy blatantly snooping through all of Jonathan’s texts before Maryse texted that they could return.

Arriving at the Institute came as a bit of a shock.

Jia Penhallow stood with an entourage escorting Jessica and her group out along with two bodies covered in white sheets.  Jia stood overseeing that entourage and speaking with Maryse who clutched a folder and some other items in her hands.  The biggest shock was the fact Maryse appeared like she had been crying, eyes puffy and slightly reddened, but her back remained ramrod straight and her expression retained its usual military strictness.

_Not like we have enough Council members here._

Jace came to an abrupt halt causing Izzy to veer around him suddenly.

The Silent Brother stood looking towards himself and Izzy, head slightly cocked to the side as if trying to figure something out before turning and following the others through the warlock portal.

Maryse broke away from her discussion with Jia and headed towards them.

“Did you find Jonathan?”  She demanded as soon as she was in speaking distance, arms still clutching the file and other items.

“No.”  Jace said.

“No.  He ditched the phone when we tried to track him.”  Izzy said at the same moment.

“My office.  Now.”  Maryse spun with her back straight and stalked off.

Jace exchanged a glance with Izzy before following Maryse to her office.

Maryse set the folder and a couple vials down on her desk before walking over to the fireplace and tossing a few more logs on to add some more heat to the cooler room now that autumn had approached them.

“Jia and I both agree that Alec’s insistence to not throw anyone into a Hellish realm is the correct path.  Especially, since I am not standing by while that _woman_ throws my son into one.  However, we still have the problem of a missing ex-demon now.”  Maryse rubbed the bridge of her nose before dropping her hand.  “Until Alec wakes back up again do either of you have any idea where Jonathan could have gone?  Any idea if he intends to go on a killing spree again?  Any idea how to control him without Alec?”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace stopped at the threshold to Alec’s infirmary room.

Izzy had already visited and had left to hack further into Jonathan’s phone in an attempt to uncover the mysterious man.  A part of Jace had wanted to steal the phone back and wantonly scroll through every text between Alec and Jonathan.

Monitors beeped recording Alec’s heartbeat and oxygen levels.  Echoing the same pulse Jace felt in his own head.

_I should have come earlier._

Fear had kept him away.  Uncertain what that Silent Brother had sensed or what the Clave envoy had uncovered.

Since there were no Clave members storming the Institute to surround them he had relaxed enough to show up at the infirmary.  But the cold dread of what that Silent Brother had noticed sat in the back of his mind.

Alec appeared unnaturally small in the medical bed, dark black strands of hair stuck to his forehead from the sheen of sweat Jace could see across the skin that remained uncovered by the sheet and gown.

Jace sat down next to the bed pulling the chair closer and gripped Alec’s limp hand.  “It is getting really old that we keep ending up in the infirmary lately.”  He brought Alec’s hand up to his mouth brushing a kiss along the knuckles.  “Wake up, Alec.  I’m here now.”  He traced a finger along the bright blue bruises along Alec’s wrist the Iratze using its energy to heal other wounds at the moment.  “I didn’t leave you.”

Jace pulled Alec’s medical gown up enough to activate the Iratze along his side again before pulling it back down, watching as that bruise faded.

“Alec adapted to withstand that agony rune.  He has always been good at adapting his mind.  He did not break under the Silent Brother or that rune.”  Maryse said from the door before coming into the room.  “But the medics want him asleep to recover.”  She brushed some of Alec’s hair from his forehead before looking at Jace.  “I’m going to go review the footage of both Jonathan and Alec’s interrogations with Jia.”

Jace only nodded to numb to feel anything about that declaration, staring at the agony rune on Alec’s forearm.  A dark ugly red mark with enflamed veins underneath.

_That rune forces people to relive traumatic memories._

He had let Alec down again.  He knew the parabati rune was calling him back to him and Jace had spent the day changing Simon to a shadowhunter and chasing after a madman rather than return to his parabati.

Jace blinked back the sharpness in his eyes again, something he had been fighting the entire day since that first pulse of pain came through the parabati rune, staring at Alec’s sweaty face.

“I do not want this family to slide back into holding secrets from each other, Jace.”  Maryse said sitting down in a chair opposite of Jace.  “The Silent Brother said all he could detect in Alec’s mind was red and the sound of the souls of Edom.”  Maryse said quietly.  “That has been the only time I have detected fear in a Silent Brother’s voice.”  Her tone wavered slightly.

Jace said nothing.  There was nothing he could say that was safe.  Nothing he could even begin to explain without opening up a line of questioning towards all the barriers him and Alec had crossed.

Maryse stood up and straightened her suit out.  “Just tell me he will be ok.”

“He will be ok.”  Jace repeated numbly to her, unsure if any of that held true.

_Come back to me, Alec._

Maryse hovered for a moment as if she would say something else before squeezing Alec’s hand, coming around and clasping Jace’s shoulder briefly, and leaving.

The moment Maryse left Jace dropped his head on the mattress next to Alec trying to hold back his muffled scream as that sharpness behind his eyes formed into wet hot streaks down his face.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Fire burned through him followed by the sweet, icy cold of the darkness.

That darkness wrapped around him pulling him further under towards his own heartbeat.

_Deeper into the darkness._

Towards the surface lay agony and pain he wanted to avoid that for the moment.  He dove further into the darkness searching for that pinprick of light within the blackness.

_I can almost see it._

There.  A pull, an undertow to the sound of his own heartbeat pulling him towards a pause between the darkness and the sudden blazing light and warmth.

_Balance._

An intricate balance between that blissful fire and the lethal darkness.

_The dichotomy of good does not exist for people like us._

_“You have my soul…”_

That voice called him back.  Away from the bliss suspended in time.

His chest burned.

He surged towards the surface and the agony that lay in wait for him.

Alec cracked his eyes open, the ache in those agony runes still sat in his body humming along his nerves in a phantom pain, and smiled.

He pushed himself to a sit and glanced around the silent, empty room.

His muscles hurt the most from fighting a losing battle against the restraints but Alec ignored that pain, running a hand along the back of his head and down his neck pushing away some of the ache.

_I hate that rune._

The clock told him it was midday which meant most would be training or sleeping before the night shift and patrol.

_Evil won’t rest._

Carefully unhooking the IV from his wrist and tearing the bandages off the agony runes Alec slowly dressed before venturing into the hallway.

A medic spotted him and instantly rushed over to him ordering him back into the room to sit down until she could check his vitals then he could leave.

Once that annoyance was completed with a refusal of the wheelchair, Alec ventured down towards the Main Ops Center.

His limbs felt shaky and his vision forced him to stop a couple times but he forced himself to make it to his destination.  There was a stronger urge that pushed him forward.

A restless energy inside him awaiting that sharpened the moment he spotted blond hair sitting near the glowing blue table in the Main Ops Center speaking with Lydia and Izzy.

_Jace._

Jace spotted him first as he approached the glowing table, leaning back further in the chair he was sitting in eyes going slightly wider.  “How are you functional?”  Jace asked.

_I have no idea._

Alec quirked one side of his mouth up in response to the shocked question.  “Something woke me up.  May as well get started on damage control.”  He replied pulling a chair out to sit down.  His legs gave out about halfway into the chair and the entire chair swayed when he collapsed the rest of the way into it.

Jace frowned at him reaching out to steady the chair.

Izzy sent him a concerned glance.  “Mom is handling damage control.  Jace and I were discussing if we should go to the Seelie Court for the introduction to their new Queen or if we should spend our time tracking Jonathan.  Tough choice, try and smooth over relations with the Seelie Court or catch an ex-demon.”

_Jonathan is missing?_

That got Alec’s attention gaze snapping to Izzy.  “What did they do to him?”  He growled leaning forward in the chair, that restless energy picking up a notch.

“Told you.”  Jace said to Lydia and Izzy twirling his stele.

Lydia frowned at Jace, before folding her arms across herself.  “Jonathan underwent more tests the Clave wanted to ensure he held no demonic essence.  He reacted poorly and killed two of the Clave envoys and escaped this Institute.”

Alec took a breath furrowing his brow as he thought, rubbing at his chest from another ache.

“Seelie Court.  It has a higher priority due to it leading to actual war rather than catching someone who may never surface again.”  Alec ordered glancing up at Lydia.  She had been handling most of the Downworlder issues the last few months and frankly Alec was proud of how well she had done.

“The Clave-“  Lydia began.

The pain in his muscles from the agony rune gave a sharp twist and spasmed through his arm up through his neck.

“I don’t give a fuck about the Clave.  They can wait until I deem it necessary to hunt Jonathan down.”  Alec snapped rubbing at the back of his neck to soothe the ache away.  “They screwed this up because they could not treat him like a human being.”

Lydia relented with a raised eyebrow and began pulling up the needed documentation for the Seelie Courts celebratory introduction of their Queen to the rest of the Shadowworld.

“The event will be massive, hundreds of people will be attending from across the world.  It will make Magnus Bane’s parties look tame.”  Lydia explained holding each of their gazes at a time her blonde hair drawn back in its usual ponytail.  “Since they are still searching for new breeders I recommend extra runes and maybe take some pills to combat the pollen.  The Seelies claim they will not release the pollen during the party.  I assume that just means they will do it before everyone gets there.”

_Probably filled with pretty flowers and vines that want to kill anyone that walks by.  That or they have their assassins doing the work for them rather than the pollen._

“Meliorn said he would prefer if Clary stayed away.”  Izzy chimed in she shot a glance to Jace and Alec.  “I’m unsure if Simon should attend.”

“He’s not going.”  Both Alec and Jace spoke at the same time before glancing at each other and back to Lydia.

Lydia tilted her head back slightly a small upturn to her lips forming at the responses before sliding the Seelie invitations over to all of them.

Alec already had a plan forming on how to implement Simon back into Shadowhunter society smoothly, the fact Clary was already at the Shadowhunter Academy was an added bonus.  But Simon would need to adjust a bit before being sent into the lion’s den.

Jace glanced over the invitation.  “The Seelies are holding it in New York, not their own realm?  That’s suspicious.”

“They won’t bring that many people into their own realm at once.”  Izzy commented also glancing over the invitation.

Alec clasped his hands together to keep from trying to soothe the aches in his own body.  “My guess.  They chose New York as a statement due to Clary’s infraction.  Are the Seelies aware we have an ongoing hunt for a multitude of greater demons and leaders that are still unaccounted for by any warlock?”  Alec questioned Lydia rubbing at his leg where another blasted twitch had formed, it felt like the beginnings of a cramp just intensified into something sharp and stabbing.

_It’s over.  It was just an agony rune.  You survived worse._

That restlessness traveled through his limbs in a phantom flash of memory.

Alec blinked his eyes slowly, willing the idea away.  Reaching out for the parabati bond and the blazing white light.

“They are aware.  But they have not been informed of Edom’s demise or how many demons we suspect managed to escape.  I did check with Maryse recently and while demon sightings are down since our success against that rift opening it certainly does not mean they are not planning something new.”  Lydia replied glancing him over, her blue eyes piercing him in a way that reminded Alec of when he was trying to cover up his stumbling attraction to Magnus.  “I suggest you have your parabati draw your runes for this mission.  I think you’ll need any extra boost you can get.”

Jace spun his stele in his hands casting a rueful smirk at Alec that did not reach his blue and brown eyes.

Alec broke the gaze to focus on how he would introduce the abundance of demons to the Seelie Court.  Most Seelies hovered at a strange halfway point in how they dealt with demons.  Some hated demons almost implicitly while other Seelies tended to gravitate towards the demons as often as possible.

Another jolt of remembered pain traveled down his arm, a second ache burned across his chest, and Alec growled low in his throat.

It was loud enough that Jace cast him a concerned glance.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jonathan watched as the blonde woman entered her home.  Studied that streak of blonde hair, the way her lip still held that ever present sneer but began to tremble as she moved into her home.

_Alone._

Idris was such a simple city to maneuver around.

He observed as the woman finished up with a phone call and waited for her to travel to the other side of her home before he slipped inside the bedroom window quietly, gloved hands touching nothing but the windowsill.

_You made me run from my home._

He vaguely noted the turned around pictures on the bedside table showing a man, a small boy, and the woman in the photos.  The red head could only see the picture because it faced the window and wall he had just crawled through.

_You’ll meet them soon enough once I have my revenge._

Silently drawing the dagger out of its sheath Jonathan gripped it in his hand moving quietly down the hallway towards the kitchen where he could hear the woman moving around and soft clinks of a pot being placed on the stove.

He stepped around the corner and lunged towards her slashing across her neck cutting off the beginning of her cry effectively.

She collapsed holding her neck and reached for her stele, eyes flaring wide in fear.

“Jessica.  I did tell you I would leave you screaming and begging when I was through with you if you took me from Alec.  From Clary.”  Jonathan grinned watching as her eyes widened further in terror and she flipped her body to her hands and knees.

Jonathan spun the dagger around in his hand as she started to crawl away, he slammed it down into her thigh dragging the knife deeply through the flesh there.

She screamed through her bubbling throat, it came out as a harsh wheezing wet sound.  She fumbled with her stele trying to draw the required rune, fear shining in her eyes.

He repeated the process with the other leg before slashing the tendons in her wrists making it impossible for her to use her stele.

“Do you regret taking me from Alec and Clary now?”  Jonathan asked kneeling next to her and pressing the dagger against her throat.

Jessica only made a gurgling sound and attempted to nod her head as the life giving blood pulsed through her clutched fingers.

Jonathan smiled.  “I regret not taking your life days ago.”  He stated holding her eyes and slashed through her neck deeply followed by the bright spurt of blood indicating he had cleaved through the artery.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

It was the day of the Seelie Queen’s reveal to the world and Alec had requested Jace to draw the runes on his body.  The agony runes still sparking pain through his system even after a couple days.  The rune Jace burned into his skin felt like it had been taking ages and Alec was half tempted to order him to stop because of the conflicting pleasure and pain it was inducing.

He did not, instead dropping his head forward and inhaling through the pain letting out a breath as he pictured that adamas burning into the hot blood underneath.  Hoping Jace did not feel what that burn bloomed into through the bond.

That jittery and restless feeling still slithered through his skin but the pain from the healing runes Jace had first placed on his body had eased some of that demand.

_Not enough._

Jace slid his hand along Alec’s back where he had been placing all the runes Alec would not need to reactivate throughout the night, it sent sparks shooting through his bloodstream.

Neither had spoken since they had entered the room.  Alec had stripped off his shirt and Jace had begun applying the runes without either speaking.  The tension was beginning to crawl through his body making Alec hyperaware of every single movement coming from Jace.

Alec turned around to face Jace when he felt the stele leave his skin.

“What is it?”  Alec demanded studying Jace’s face which had closed off the moment he turned around.

Jace shook his head running his hand over Alec’s right arm.

Alec frowned at the gesture.

The black veins were no longer present, the desire for power remained but he had managed a week so far.

_Always gave in around a week and that agony rune…_

“You haven’t stopped since you woke up from that agony rune.”  Jace pointed out bluntly.

Not true.  He slept.  Sort of.  More a hazy drift through memories he had no desire to ever fully recall again.

_I remembered enough to understand the pain and darkness.  To use it._

Now he could recall every intricate moment, no longer wrapped in screams and feelings and the touch of warm red liquid cocooned around him.  Memories of the brief possession as he punched his hand through bone and cartilage.  And again to those helpless mundanes when he crawled from that chrysalis.

His chest felt constricted and sweat broke out across his skin as his mind conjured forth the backlash of Edom’s power slicing through his soul again.

_And I thought I had recollected enough before._

No longer a haze of crafting a single red hair and seeing the rhythm of another’s soul but every single detail.  Every screaming soul that had rushed by or died before it ever left.

_Insanity has its perks, Jonathan.  You can pretend to forget you weren’t a demon._

“Do you know why I went to Edom?”  Alec questioned Jace staring blankly across the room where an empty dresser stood that had once been filled with makeup and mementos.  A past life, nothing more than a memory.  He wanted to burn a different memory into his body.

Alec could feel Jace pause his movement towards the next section of skin on his arm to draw the accuracy rune before the touch of adamas hit his skin and the stele began its burn.

“You went there to break Magnus out.”  Jace replied.  Alec could hear the frown in the tone.

Alec twisted his lip.  “Alexander Lightwood.  Head of the New York Institute.”  He said tonelessly.  “I went in with a plan.  A plan that took more of myself than I ever intended.”

Jace completed the accuracy rune before coming around to sit in front of Alec catching his eyes briefly.  “You went there of your own free will.  You didn’t even ask me to come with you.”  Jace said with some heat.

Alec gave him a sad smile.  “Would you have honestly joined me then?  Run yourself into a realm of demons where Lilith reigned supreme?”

Jace jerked back as if burned, eyes dropping to look at the stele in his hands that he twirled once.  Twice.

Alec reached up and dragged his hand along Jace’s shoulder before loosely enclosing his hand around Jace’s neck.  “Jace, I would never have dragged you there.  Not after everything and I could not watch Izzy burn up in that realm either.” 

“You’d just watch yourself burn up.”  Jace said eyes wide and locked on Alec again.

_And I would welcome the burn._

A shiver went down Alec’s spine at the thought.

That darkness that could burn and freeze.  A dangerous thought.

Alec reached out to Jace’s hand holding the stele guiding it back to his body to etch the next rune on his chest.  “Go slow.”  He ordered.  “Just burn them out.”

_Burn those memories out._

Jace stared at him furrowing his brow and tilting his head to the side slightly.  “I’ll go slow.”  Jace began to draw the next rune allowing the adamas to burn into Alec’s skin.  “Tell me what I am burning out.”  He asked quietly.

Alec dropped his gaze to stare at his hands idly tracing where he knew the darkness had traveled.  “Screams.  Every soul that escaped touched me and left its imprint.  Its power.”

_There had been so much._

Until Jonathan threw him inside that red blood filled cage where he could unleash it all and draw it back in a never ending cycle as his body adapted.  Adapted into the monster that could channel power and unleash it.

“Hey.”  Jace tilted Alec’s face up.  “We pushed the power out.  You said its eight weeks, not that far away.  You’ve almost made it through one already.”  Jace informed him.

Alec hummed feeling the air around Jace thrum with an unseen energy.

“Damnit.”  Alec ran his hands through his hair and pulled hard.

Jace scooted closer to him.  “Alec.”  Jace said.

“You were right.”  Alec hissed and jerked his head up glaring angrily up at Jace staring at the blue and brown as Jace narrowed his eyes at him.  “You came in and pushed that power out each time.  And I want it back.  I need it back.” Alec continued.

Jace reached out a hand towards Alec, forcibly tilting his head back and reapplying the deflect rune on Alec’s neck.  “I can’t let you destroy our bond.”  Jace said burning that rune into his neck.

His muscles were shaking but he grabbed Jace’s arm, twisting until he had Jace turning with it.  “Our bond!?”  Alec snarled.

Jace continued to roll with the twist, turning back fist clenched tightly and already swinging.

Stars exploded in Alec’s head and he felt the mattress under his back as he fell back from the blow.

“Yes!  Our bond!”  Jace growled pressing their bodies together in a blatantly sexual push.  “I will keep doing this until only our bond is inside you.  Until you let me in enough to let it go!” 

Alec closed his eyes against the reeling feeling, darkness claimed him blotting out the world for a moment.   “Then destroy me.”  Alec whispered.

Even as Alec spoke he could feel the chain of remembered power demanding he leave the Institute, fill his veins with something else.  Something darker.  Something that would guide him from Jace.

_Destroy me, chain me to you, claw your presence into me.  Do anything to keep me._

He could not bring himself to utter those dark thoughts.

Alec growled at himself, gripping Jace around the throat tightly and pulled him down hard to meet his mouth in anger.  Angry at himself for knowing he would slip, it was just a matter of time now.  Angry at Jace.

Jace opened to him on a gasp, body stiffening in an instinctual fight against the manhandling.

Alec surged up to meet him biting hard enough until he tasted blood, backing Jace away from the bed they had been drawing their runes on each other at.

Jace jerked away breathing hard, eyes wide staring at Alec with a frown.

“It left scars on me, Jace.”  Alec carded his hand through Jace’s hair before tangling his hand in the blond locks pulling Jace back to him to whisper in his mouth.  “Scars that will never heal from that darkness.”  Alec bit a kiss into Jace’s mouth harshly surprised when Jace responded back just as harshly clawing his hands into Alec’s skin.

The pain sparked through to pleasure.  Lighting up that ache deep in his veins demanding to be filled with power.

“Bite harder.”  Alec demanded into Jace’s mouth before switching to Jace’s neck and biting roughly.

_Punish me.  I need this._

Jace twisted them around and shoved Alec back until his back hit the wall, entangling their tongues hotly before returning the bite on his neck hard.

Alec threw his head back on a moan from the bite.  “Harder.”  He gasped out.

“Alec.”  Jace panted into his ear biting his earlobe, hands starting to work Alec free of his pants.  “For whither thou goest, I will go…”

Nothing else could have reached Alec deeper than that single phrase.  A phrase from their parabati ceremony. 

_No.  That’s not what I want right now.  I need a lie, not understanding.  You never even said it back._

Alec growled plunging into Jace’s mouth with his tongue harshly, demanding Jace to be rougher.  Felt the response as Jace dug his hands into his hips deeply enough to bruise grinding them together harshly.

Alec pushed his pants far enough down that he could grab Jace’s hand guiding him to prepare himself, heedless of just how desperate that made him look.

Jace slid his hand down Alec’s arm that was holding his other wrist in a silent demand.  “Where are you Alec?”  Jace breathed against his mouth.

Alec pulled his head back and opened his dark eyes to look at Jace, mouth turning down slightly at the question.  “I’m right here.”  Alec bit out irritated.

“Not right now.  Tell me what you want, what you need.”  Jace whispered wrapping his hand around Alec’s wrist.

_Enough pain to blot it out._

Alec settled for bringing his own hand down to himself and preparing himself without Jace’s help, throwing his head back against the pain when he went to fast.  He did not care.

Jace let out a strange strangled sound and brushed a kiss against Alec’s panting mouth.

Alec snarled low in his throat in frustration.  “I told you.  Harder.  Make me forget.”

Jace drew back a moment, his eyes studying Alec with a new light before shifting to something else, undoing his own pants with ease and dropping them enough to step closer.

Alec pulled him back into another sliding kiss before he could let that emotion he saw take over his brain, lining himself up with Jace and finally Jace followed through on Alec’s demand and plunged inside him.

Alec arched from the pain on a silent howl, digging nails into Jace’s back and dragging.

Jace pulled his face back down to him kissing him gently, tasting Alec’s mouth with a deliberate slowness that left Alec writhing against Jace.  Even as Jace held him impaled on his length fingers digging into Alec’s hips with a bruising force.

Alec let out a quiet moan as he silently begged Jace for more, using the wall to impale himself on Jace again and again meeting each thrust, clawing into his body.

Jace bit at his collarbone matching the rhythm Alec demanded silently.

Feeling their parabati runes heat with their locked bodies sending the power from the bond searing through Alec.

_Fuck, yes.  Finally._

This hunger.  This need.

The craving burned through him just as hotly as the white blinding heat that tore through him and hit out of nowhere, leaving Alec gasping against the wall still impaled on Jace.

“Fuck, Alec.”  Jace whispered wrecked placing his hands on either side of Alec’s head, his eyes were glowing golden.  “Stay with me.”  He leaned forward mouthing something against Alec’s neck continuing to thrust until Alec felt him shudder and jerk against him.

_Always._

Alec let his head loll to the side against the wall barely keeping his eyes open as he felt Jace rest his entire body weight on him pressing him against the wall again.  Breathe still shattering out of both of them as they calmed down.

“You go down that path again, you’ll be signing both our death warrants.”  Jace said once their breathing had eased to a normal pace, still pressed against each other.

How many deaths did he cause just to get back here?  Alive.

Alec chuckled darkly, an obscure part of him sated and content from the brutal pain earlier.

Jace stiffened against him at the sound grabbing Alec’s chin and forcing him to look at him.  “What did that agony rune make you relive?”

“Everything.”  Alec replied, reaching out a hand to trace down Jace’s side touching the bleeding marks where Alec had dug his nails harshly.  “I went against everything I ever tried to uphold as a Shadowhunter just to survive, to come back to you.  I turned myself into a monster and I don’t know if I can ever make it back.”

Jace pressed his hand against Alec’s side over the parabati rune.  “I don’t care what you did to survive.  You never questioned how I came back from any mission regardless how bloody or how reckless, just that I did.  You always accepted me, and I accept you for whatever you think you are now.  You are still mine.  My parabati.”

Alec took a breath, stealing himself to make it through the rest of the night, reaching for his self-control again now that it had been obliterated into pieces and rebuilt into something he could actually command. 

Slowly drawing away from Jace, tracing their rune with his hand where he wanted to press his face and inhale Jace’s scent again.

“You know tonight we are going to come out bloody from this Seelie mission.”  Alec told him watching as Jace’s eyes shuttered in pain and he swallowed.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Took you guys long enough.”  Izzy commented when Jace and Alec walked over to the Ops Center table she sat at reviewing the list of Shadowhunters and warlocks that would be attending the Seelie Queen’s reveal.  “Meliorn tells me practically the entire guard will be with the Queen the entire night.  And as usual we have to wait to be called up to greet the new Queen so be prepared to be bored out of your skulls.”  She was wearing some bright red dress with silver leaf-like jewelry woven into her hair as a subtle acceptance of the Seelie’s customs.

“Alec required more runes than I expected.”  Jace replied easily grabbing up the invitations from the table and glancing over at Alec with a furrowed brow.

He could still feel the ghostly burn of Alec’s nails digging into his skin, now vanished underneath an Iratze Alec had applied.

“Probably a wise choice.  I had mom add a few extra on myself and took a couple potions from our resident warlock because I do not want to end up like Clary and strip in front of every known member of society just for the Seelies laughs.”  Izzy slid the potions over to Jace and Alec.  “Drink up.  They taste delicious.”

Alec eyed his sister but drank them without complaint.

Jace scooped them up and followed suit.  They tasted horrible.  Something moldy and rancid with too much sugar added.  “Appetizing.”  Jace muttered once they were all in his system.

“Lydia, anything else we should be aware of before walking in there?”  Alec asked calm and collected, the complete opposite of how he had been just a few minutes ago under Jace’s hands.

Lydia scanned Alec clearly searching him for any weakness from the agony rune still healing on his arm.  “Yeah, don’t get yourselves killed and play nice.  I would rather not start a war.  It will be impossible to curb that violence if things go south at the first meeting.”

Alec lifted one corner of his mouth up in a twist.  “Impossible means do it right the first time.  As much as the Seelie Queen has always threatened various factions she has always wanted to keep her people within her realm and avoid bloodshed pouring between the two realms.  I’m counting on the new Queen to want to keep her people alive as well.”

_You don’t believe that at all._

Jace folded his arms across himself watching as Alec continued to build back up the walls of rationality and logic sealing the emotions Alec felt behind their walls.

“Glamour weapons and try to appear less threatening.”  Alec ordered as Jace watched his eyes complete the walls retaining the hard mask he wore as Institute leader.

“That’s on you, Alec.  The Seelies adore charm something Jace and I have in abundance.”  Izzy reprimanded her brother and headed towards the exit.  “You should take some lessons from Meliorn.”  She called back.

“He’s got charm.”  Jace defended following after her while Alec gathered up his bow and quiver.

Lydia snorted at the comment muttering.  “Charmed himself a magical warlock.” 

The rest of the trip to the Seelie Queen’s reveal was fairly uneventful and Izzy spent most of the walk texting Simon to ensure he felt alright.

Several Seelies greeted them at the entrance to New York’s largest park, Pelham Bay.

The Seelies must have set up something to repel mundanes from a certain section because as they ventured deeper into the park following the path the Seelies indicated the mundane population crashed to zero.

_Least we don’t have to worry about mundanes wandering into the event.  Unless they’ve already been taken._

“You know sometimes I wonder how many mini Jace’s are running around in the Seelie world.”  Izzy commented idly tossing a small smirk towards Jace.

Alec barely paused in his path towards the Seelie lights and music streaming from the area ahead of them.

Jace cringed to himself, the thought of miniature anything of himself running around was downright scary.  “No, there are no bastard children running around from me.  All the Seelies I was with knew it was just sex.  Nothing more.”  Jace replied to Izzy.  “Should ask Clary to make a birth control rune.”  He muttered.

Alec glanced over at him like the idea might actually have merit.  But Jace could feel a sharp pain twist through the parabati rune carrying the emotion with it before Alec could clamp it down.

_Jealousy and regret._

“Isabelle.”  Meliorn strode forward and kissed Izzy on each of her cheeks which she also returned.  “I am glad you could attend.  As well as you Alec Lightwood and Jace Herondale.”  He gave them each a small nod of his head, long dark hair pulled into intricate braids making the scar on his face stand out further than usual.  He also wore armor.

_They expect an attack._

Jace glanced over at Alec noting him already scanning the area, picking out other Seelies dressed in armor as well as several warlocks and other Shadowhunters traveling from notable Institutes around the world.

“What do you expect?”  Jace asked quietly while Izzy continued to flirt with Meliorn.

“I expect the demons to use this as a chance to snatch the Queen and use her as leverage for passage through their realms to the other demon realms.  Since their rift opening failed the nearest portal would be through the Seelie realms.  Lydia suspects that is one possible plan.”  Alec responded shifting just slightly as his eyes tracked a particular warlock.  “That is if the Seelies have not voluntarily allowed the demons access already.”

Jace glanced over towards the warlock expecting to find Magnus, it was not.  It was some unknown warlock he had never seen before.  “Anyone you know?”  Jace asked.

“There is something off with him.”  Alec replied, eyes narrowing on the warlock.

Jace glanced over at the warlock again.  Blue hair, tanned skin, and a fairly normal toned body, no warlock mark visible.  “Uh huh.  Describe off.”

Alec narrowed his eyes at the warlock as he embraced some others in casual embraces and handshakes.  “Corrupted...”

Jace studied the warlock but could find nothing outwardly wrong with him.  No visible corruption like what Valentine had done to the warlocks he enslaved.

Meliorn broke away from his conversation with Izzy when a few bugs went flitting past, blinking and glowing some signal only he could interpret.

“The Queen will see you now.  She had hoped to meet Clary as well as the two who stood by as she burned our revel to the ground.”  Meliorn informed them guiding the three towards the larger trees and closer to the beach the park abutted.

Jace winced internally.  “Good to know the Queen’s first impression of us is terrible.”  Jace commented to Meliorn.  “Any advice to share on how to win her over?”

Meliorn tilted his head slightly towards Jace with a slight patronizing smile making the vines along his face stand out.  “Tell her the truth.”

Jace held back the scoff at that suggestion.

The Queen sat on her throne dark brown hair crowned in vines, full lips, and a body that sent a primal tendril through Jace just from looking at her.

“The Shadowhunters that destroyed one of our most sacred traditions.”  She smiled scathingly.  “Jace.  My sources tell me you did not succumb to the effects of our vines.  Perhaps you’ll yield to another’s.”

Jace managed to keep himself still as his mind raced trying to figure out why she targeted him before any proper greeting or discussion could begin.

The Queen’s eyes on him drew down as her smile turned devilish and she waved an attendant forward to offer Jace a cup, wreathed in vines and roots for the base.  “For you, Shadowhunter.”

That cup smelled sickly sweet and Jace had zero desire to bring that wretched cup anywhere near his lips, to do so would spell certain death or enslavement to the Seelie Court.

_Don’t touch the food._

Then why did he have a strong desire to bring that cup to his lips and drain it down now.

_Don’t touch the cup._

“You promised no pollen.”  Alec stated gripping Jace’s shoulder tightly jerking him back from where he had unconsciously stepped forward, fingers stretched out towards the cup.

Jace blinked trying to clear his head, eyeing that cup with distaste.  What the hell kind of drug sat inside that thing that only affected him?  Izzy and Alec both appeared unbothered by it.

“Oh, this is no pollen.  This is a toxin, it will not kill him.”  The Queen replied leaning slightly forward in her throne looking at Jace with interest.  “If you will not drink it perhaps either of your dark haired friends will.  I warn you, it might kill them.”

“We came here to greet you, your Excellency, to begin relations on a better note.  Not to exchange one of our own.”  Alec said hand still gripping Jace’s shoulder which was becoming increasingly irritating to Jace, an uncomfortable weight stopping him from moving forward.

The Queen glanced at Alec with something akin to distaste and irritation, lip curling up into a sneer.  “Taking someone strong enough to resist us is precisely how you can improve your relations with me.”  She derided standing up, showing off the fact she only wore green vines around her chest that spiraled down around her hips.

An intrusive heat spread down Jace’s back that he recognized as the stirrings of want.  A desire he did not crave, especially towards this Seelie Queen.  Jace tried activating his runes to cleanse the toxin from his system that was apparently messing with his thoughts just from inhalation.  Nothing happened.  Instead he found himself reaching a hand out towards that cup again even though his logical mind told him to stop.

_Shit.  Stop._

“You take him you have to go through us.”  Izzy stated boldly, lowering her arm in preparation to release her hidden whip.

Alec yanked him back again but he could feel the first tremors through their bond of something akin to panic.

The Queen did not lose her vicious smile.  “Perhaps I should offer your parabati something that might interest him as well.  You are unique and rare, just like the Daylighter.  The Seelies do not even have a name for one like you and we have been around since before your kind was formed.”  She waved her hand for another attendant to set another cup down, this one in thorns and metal, filled with something red.

Alec’s fingers dug hard into Jace’s shoulder, the sharpness pulled some of the haze back from Jace’s mind and he jerked himself a few steps away from that horrible cup.

Izzy responded to the queen the worst.  Her whip was out and lashed around the cup intended for Jace spilling its contents on the ground in a flash.

Spears were leveled at them immediately, most pointed towards Izzy and her silver whip.

That blue haired warlock Alec had pointed out earlier swept in scooping up the other cup and downing it before the guards could switch their focus from Izzy to the warlock.

“The night of blood…”  The warlock began but had to cut off his chant as Alec unleashed two arrows at his head with a snarl.

“Kill it!”  Screamed the Queen.  “You will not have access to my realms as you requested, fiend.”

That drove Jace into action, the scent from that toxin fading enough that he managed to insert himself between the Queen and the warlock.  Ok, not his best idea to stand here, seraph blade ignited in defense of the new Queen rather than defend Alec or Izzy.

_Dumb drink._

The warlock however bent over and Jace could hear the tearing of flesh as something ripped itself free of its back and a massive black form trailing smoky tendrils launched itself into the air with a scream.

“Shapeshifters!”  Yelled Izzy as she switched to focus on the abundance of shapeshifting demons that were attacking Seelie, Shadowhunter, and warlock alike, her whip wrapping around two that were going for a Seelie near her as she ducked under that same Seelie’s spear.

The bulk of the Seelie guard encircled the Queen as several demons launched themselves towards them only to be brought down by vines and spears as the queen’s guards moved her away from the main attack.  Even so Jace could see the sheer number of demons tearing into the queens guard, intent on their prize, might overwhelm them.

Alec took off after the black smoky form firing arrows into the air after it, one must have been an explosive charge because the beast caught fire before shrieking and twisting fast enough to put the fire out, roiling black clouds wrapping around itself tighter before it shot out over the trees towards the beach.

Meliorn shoved Jace forward away from the Queen.  “Kill that demon and you won’t be required as a consort to our Queen for the rest of your life.”  Meliorn advised into his ear.

Jace took off after Alec shouting for Izzy to follow, a quick scan of the area showed several warlocks facing off with each other, magic thrumming through the area and large grooves in the ground and trees where magic had hit.  Most Seelies had surrounded their queen or were fighting the shapeshifter demons that Jace instantly realized was a distraction.

A distraction to snatch the Queen, the cup, or something else Jace did not know.

That cup better not have been similar to what Valentine used to make his endarkened army.

_Over the water towards the peninsula_.

Following instinct Jace changed directions and headed towards the peninsula activating speed runes with a thought as he went, he could hear Izzy barely keeping pace with him.  In the darkened trees he lost sight of Alec and could only make out the demon soaring through the air because of the full moon shining brightly onto the water.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_I hesitated.  I should not have hesitated to control that._

The thought did nothing to stem the cold adrenaline pulsing through his veins as Alec flew across the ground as fast as his legs would carry him, launching himself over a dead log and sending up a spray of sand as he hit the beach, watching as the blackened Edom renewed demon flew doggedly across the water to land on the peninsula.  The fire must have injured its wings enough that it would not be taking flight immediately.  And he knew he had landed enough arrows in its body that it would require a moment to heal itself.

Alec cast his stele over Speed, Fortitude, Soundless, and Accuracy.

_Should have asked for more runes._

He could hear the growls of the demons that had followed him into the dark trees, notching a red arrow to his bow string and lifting the bow to point at the darkness.  Waiting for the explosion to rush out of the trees.

A pause as everything went quiet and still for a moment.

The dead log he had jumped over earlier exploded in a mess of splinters followed by a large hellhound, red eyes ablaze.  Two other hellhounds burst out of the underbrush corralling Alec back along the sandy beach, their gaunt sleek bodies glimmering in dark blood and coarse black fur.

Think.

Alec did not have time to think.  The attacks came swiftly, he fired an arrow at the nearest hellhound as it leapt in a snarl, spun on the balls of his feet and sprinted away from the other two nocking the next arrow before spinning and firing the next arrow directly into the chest of the snapping jaws that were lunging for his leg.

_Damnit._

They were herding him now that he had separated himself from the Seelie Court and Jace and Izzy.

Throwing himself into a roll he slammed the arrow in his hand into the hellhound’s eye as the demon went for his throat.  Dark ichor and demon drool traveled over the arm of his leather jacket and his skin.

Red power sparked across his senses.

_Don’t take it._

Controlling that dark urge proved much more difficult than Alec thought possible.

The last hellhound stood still, frozen in its attack growling lowly and shaking its head, swirling red eyes gleaming with madness.

A madness he knew reflected in his own eyes.

_You don’t become a god for a moment and not become something else._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace and Izzy found the transformed warlock on the peninsula almost waiting for them within the trees.

Its grotesque skeletal wings had been burned up by the explosive arrow Alec had shot it with.  The rest of its body did not appear much better, black oil coated skin with a chest cavity completely exposing its ribs.

Jace did not pause in his sprint, leaping the rest of the distance to slash at the demonic warlock, it twisted its lizard like skull away from the blow and his seraph blade glanced off the bony protrusions of wings instead.

Smoke billowed up from that slice burning Jace’s throat the moment he inhaled.

The transformed warlock clenched a fist, fiery magic warping around its fist.

Jace threw himself to the side and felt the entire ground shake, heard an explosion of something followed by the rain of dirt.  Rolling back to his feet he saw what looked like a tower of dirt that had been erected between the warlock and himself.  Meliorn stood not far away spinning a staff back into position.

“Finally taken notice have you.”  The warlock demon said to Meliorn.  “My denizens have lain in wait for your Queen to show herself.  I’m certain they have already killed her by now considering her guard is spread so thin.  Not knowing friend from foe.”

_I hate talkers._

Jace charged at the warlock again, kicking off a raised stump in the ground to launch himself higher in the air and slashed down at the warlock cleaving the wing it used to shield itself in half.

Several demons arrived and swarmed Jace pushing him off the warlock sinking claws and teeth into his body and limbs.

Jace saw two get wrapped in Izzy’s whip as she yanked them off of him.  Another was rooted to the spot by vines, he cut that one in half, reversed the grip on the seraph blade and slammed it behind him into the demon that had been trying to tear into him from behind.  Jace kicked the last demon in the chest to push it away right as its jaw snapped closed an inch from his face.

“Jace!  More are coming!”  Izzy shouted, moving to fight near Meliorn.

Jace dropped the second seraph blade into his hand.  Wielding two weapons now he leapt into the fray, cleaving through one demon, deflecting with his free arm, only to draw it back and stab another demon.  His eyes remained trained on that transformed warlock.

Kill it and fix his problem with the Queen.

No one was going to invade his mind with drugs or bugs or anything ever again.

He lost track after the seventh demon dropped to his blades.  Izzy’s whip dragging in outliers to destroy.  Jace had no idea what magic Meliorn was currently casting to assist but it must have been helping, the demons were slower than usual.

Jace threw one of the seraph blades into one of the last demon’s chest impaling it cleaning, as he used his other arm to deflect the claws of the last demon standing between him and that tainted warlock.  He whirled the blade quickly around and slashed it down through that last demon’s face watching as the black ichor bled out of it and it toppled to the ground.

Panting and coated in his own blood and demon ichor Jace looked back up at that transformed warlock who stood wreathed in red magic, chanting some spell.

“Few more minutes and I can take down his protective spell.”  Meliorn called from where he sat cross legged on the ground almost as if in meditation, trusting Izzy to keep the demons off his back.

“What does it want?”  Izzy called now that they had a moment to catch their breath waiting for Meliorn.

“Our Queen denied the demons entry through our realm to the next demonic realm.  There would have been to many of them to allow it.  Stop asking questions.”  Meliorn replied closing his eyes again in concentration, hands resting lightly against his knees.

Something black and massive streaked by Izzy silent and deadly before Jace realized it was a hellhound headed straight for him.

Fear punched through his gut that Izzy had already been hit, training reflexes kicked in a second later as he lunged at the hellhound with his blade still dripping with black ichor from the previous battle.

The hellhound launched itself from the ground higher than his blade landing on the other side of Jace and careening towards the warlock, slamming its body into the barrier.  It hit that barrier like water and passed through it.

Even with a skeletal lizard face Jace could see that warlock’s eyes widen in surprise and fear before the hellhound ripped open its throat.  A second later and the hellhound was a puff of molten black ichor on the ground and the warlock was slowly healing its neck wound.

_More factions that just us and Seelies tonight._

Like that was not confusing enough on a battlefield now they had demons fighting each other even when their mortal enemy a Shadowhunter stood between them.  Jace had no idea how many warlocks had chosen the side of Shadowhunter, Seelie, or demon.

Alec streaked by faster than Jace had ever see him move before coming to an abrupt halt directly in front of that lethal red barrier.

The blackened oily warlock opened its skeletal jaw in something that might have been a smile, it was hard to tell since there were no actual muscles to pull its face into an expression.  “Surrender your soul to me.  You can join the Void where there are no shadows, no darkness.  Hand your soul to me.”  The warlock said.

Jace heard a dark chuckle rumble out of Alec, so similar to directly after he had demanded Jace deal him pain.

“I gave my soul to another and when that barrier drops, nothing will stop me from ripping you apart.”  Alec said with a deadly calm, the seraph blade in his hand flickered and Alec formed his other hand into a fist.

“Alec.”  Jace called drawing closer and raising both his own seraph blades pointing them towards the warlock, he could feel the heat coming off the barrier in waves singeing his own skin.

“Give up.  You can’t win this fight.”  The warlock told Alec directly opening its jaw filled with sharp teeth to snap closed in a threat.

_Yeah, but I can._

Jace tensed in preparation for that barrier to disappear.

Alec quirked up one side of his mouth.  “I don’t fear it.”  Hovering his hand a hair from that red barrier and did not flinch from the heat.  “But you should.”

“You will all die!  There are more warlocks than myself that will assist our fathers.  You are cursed!  You will all join the Void!”  The warlock shouted and Jace could hear manic glee and fear in that demon’s voice.

The red barrier dropped.

Jace kicked Alec in the side knocking him away, using the kick to twist and push himself towards the corrupted warlock impaling both seraph blades in its chest, pulling one out and slamming it into the things chest again as it slammed red power into his chest blasting him through the air to land in the dirt several feet away knocking the wind out of Jace in a whoosh.

A hiss through the air of Izzy’s whip.

Jace tried blinking the black spots from his eyes and attempted to inhale though the bright pain in his chest.

_Get up.  Move._

He rolled to his hands and knees coughing and spitting out blood, looking up he found the warlock dead on the ground one of its arms cut clean off and Izzy’s whip still wrapped around its neck, three holes in its chest from seraph blades all gushing blood.

Alec stood above it panting, hand clenched tightly.

“That won’t be the only one.”  Meliorn called standing up from the ground he had been meditating at to drop the barrier.

Alec leaned down and sliced the chest open.  “What part does your Queen require to break Jace from her demand as a stallion?”  Alec questioned, unbothered by the black ichor pooling around him.

Meliorn poked at the body with his staff.  “A vial of blood from this creature should suffice.”

Jace picked himself off the ground and drew Alec back from the corpse, his own chest paining him from the blast that warlock had dealt him.

“Alec go do a sweep of the area.  I’ll get the blood sample, in case the Queen has any bugs around to say I wasn’t the one to give her this…”  Jace waved a hand at the twisted body.  “…gift.”

Alec touched the ground near where the warlock had died briefly before standing up rubbing his fingers together before stalking off into the darkened woods.

Jace glanced down at his chest which surprisingly remained intact, shirt vaporized but his skin held only some dark bruising and burn marks across it.

_I better not have broken a rib._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Meliorn presented them back to the Queen in her own realm filled with trees, vines, and an abundance of white floating spores that permeated the air around them.

The Queen took no notice of their disheveled state and the ichor stains across their clothing only ordering one of her assistants to snatch the vial from Jace’s hands before sending Jace a predatory grin.

“You stood between me and a new devil.  I appreciate that sentiment and honor.  However, we both know it was my offering that prompted you unwillingly.  You will stay here for a day then your debt will be paid for destroying our revel.”  The Queen informed Jace ignoring Alec and Izzy entirely.

_I’m not getting forced._

Alec shifted beside him adjusting his quiver.

At Jace’s obvious reluctance to come willingly the Queen merely smiled showing her pointed teeth.  “Perhaps I could encourage your dark haired parabati to join our revel on Beltane when power runs the strongest.”  She suggested.

_Like hell I’m letting her take Alec._

“Alright.  One day.  One mortal day and then you release me unharmed.”  Jace said feeling his stomach twist and churn sharply in anxiety.

“Jace, no.”  Alec commanded reaching out for him, but Jace already stepped forward towards the Queen and her distracting appearance.

“What assurances do you give us that Jace will remain unharmed mentally and physically and that Alec and I can leave?”  Izzy questioned instead arms crossed and looking hard at the Queen, her red dress had a slash down one side now exposing most of her stomach from the demon attack earlier.

“You and your brother are free to leave.  I assure you Jace will enjoy his time here and return to you unharmed.”  The Queen lifted a hand and Meliorn and another Seelie knight stepped forward to escort Alec and Izzy from the realm leaving Jace alone with the deadly Seelie Queen.

Jace steeled himself for a very awkward and probably painful twenty four hours.  Shoved aside the need to fidget with his stele and ignoring the sweat that had begun to form across his skin.

The Queen stood from her throne and prowled towards him vines encasing her curves and accenting each rounded section of her body.  “Tell me, Jace Herondale, am I not beautiful?” She questioned in a sultry tone, sending his nerves skittering.

Jace swallowed back the growing awareness that she could affect him even though he felt no connection with her.  “You are.”  He blinked at his own surprise when he realized he meant it.

“You have been with others of my kind.”  She traced a finger along his arm.  “It would be no different.  There is no use hiding your shame here.”  She slid her hand under his shirt almost brushing the parabati rune.

The cruel touch jerked him out of the trace Jace had been in staring at her lithe body and stepped away from her, shaking his head.  “I agreed to remain in your realm for a day, not to have sex with you.  What do you want?”

The Queen frowned, clearly displeased.  “I require a strong heir, one to combat an annoyance of mine.  Unless you would rather venture into the Unseelie realms and destroy a demon for me.”

That bait was too easy.

It did get him out of sex with the Queen though.  Killing a demon appeared a much better option than needing to touch someone he inherently disliked.

“I kill the demon, I don’t have sex with you.  Ever.”  Jace told her, trying to find a way out of this twisted conversation.

_What’s the catch?_

“I can give you everything you desire.  Power, influence, fame and a life here for the duration of your short existence.  You would be happy here.”  She replied with a sultry bite.  “Tell me, what has changed?”  She wandered over to a small fountain scooping up some water with a large leaf and drinking from it.

Jace stiffened, hairs on the back of his neck rising.  “Nothing’s changed.  Just matured.”

She smiled making the pointed ears and sharp teeth stand out further.  “You lie.  Maturity means nothing to you.  Do shadowhunters ever mature or do they remain locked in their glowing idealistic beliefs?”  The Queen mocked, dropping the leaf back into the fountain and removing the vines from part of her upper body revealing smooth naked skin.

Jace bit his lip and clenched his fists to keep his focus on her face, the rest of her was distracting and he hated himself for feeling that unnatural pull towards her.  “Our beliefs differ from your own.  And that includes children.  I’m not giving you an heir.  Send me to go kill the demon as our deal and then I owe you nothing.”

Anything to get himself away from whatever he was responding to in that Queen.  Some unknown kinship that made zero sense, he was a shadowhunter there were no similarities between what he did for a living and this Seelie Queen.

It had to be the toxin.

The Queen’s mouth turned down, sharp nails flashing briefly.  “I like you.  Straight to the point.  None of the haggling so many of your Shadowhunters choose to dance about with my kind.  You live through this deal your dark and fiery friends will also be forgiven.”

Jace still felt like he missed something in that little exchange, a loophole that had been left open.

“Then we have a deal.”  He found himself saying anyway, watching as the Queen’s eyes sharpened on him and her smile turned into something viciously warm.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_Jace.  Jace.  Jace._

That name had been on repeat inside Alec’s head since the moment Jace vanished through the Seelie portal for his stay with the Seelie Queen and doing who knows what.

“Alec.  Isabelle.”  Maryse strode towards them quickly, her back ramrod straight and mouth turned down.

_She’d probably would have wanted to trade me to the Queen rather than Jace._

Alec frowned at himself as Maryse drew near.

“Jessica, the Clave envoy was found dead.  I just received the report.  She was killed in her home.  I want the two of you to travel to Idris and search the home I suspect this was Jonathan’s doing and I fear what else he will do.”  Maryse ordered them swiftly.

Alec narrowed his eyes.  “Perhaps she should not have tortured him or maybe someone else disliked the Clave envoy enough to kill her.”

Maryse’s eyes narrowed.  “This is your fault, Alec.  You should have kept him in check.”  Maryse snapped folding her arms across herself and gaze hardening on her son.

“That Clave envoy was torturing me when she decided to pull that stunt.”  Alec replied almost bored, being blamed was nothing new.

“Alec and I will clean up and leave immediately.  Jace is still at the Seelie Court for the next twenty four hours.”  Izzy interjected into their argument.

Maryse frown deepened, lines forming further around her mouth.  “And why is Jace left behind?”

“Jace stays for one day and the Seelie Queen drops her vendetta against us about the revel Clary burnt up with her fire rune.”  Alec replied crossing his arms and tucking one hand under the arm of his jacket.

Maryse glanced at Izzy, clearly having expected her to be the one chosen for such an endeavor.  “He better not mess that up.  Get moving.”  She spun around and left them standing there.

“Meet me at the warlock portal in twenty minutes.”  Alec ordered Izzy before heading to his room to get cleaned up from the battle and changed into something that was not coated in blood.

Once there he ripped his clothing off and rinsed down quickly only pausing when he reached out to turn the water off.

He stared for a moment before turning the knob, cutting the water off.  Drying quickly and pulling clothes back on and snatching up the black glove again.

_I know why the curse will never affect us._

He arrived back at the Institute’s warlock portal a few minutes before Izzy.

When she did arrive she glanced him over once before her eyes narrowed.

Alec clenched his hand into a fist and said nothing about her possible observation, turning towards the warlock he had already informed to open a portal for them to Idris.  “Let’s go.”

They had made it to the steps of the Clave envoy’s residence before Izzy opened her mouth.

She had been eyeing him from the corner of her eye most of the trip there.  “Are you worried about Jace?”  She asked.

Alec pushed the door open to the residence already smelling the burnt remnants of the residence.  “No.”

He was terrified for Jace and what that Seelie would do to him.  The only thing keeping him rational was the fact he had not felt any trauma or cold fear coming through the bond since an hour or two after they had left him there.

Which meant nothing.  That drugged drink Jace had reacted to could have easily been used against him again.

There was a slight uncomfortable pull starting in his chest as the distance between them stretched.

Izzy just rolled her eyes at him for his response with a small scoff and a muttered.  “Sure.”

Alec clenched his hand into a fist feeling the vague slither travel up his arm.

_You touch him.  Nothing will help you and I will burn anyone that stands between me and Jace._

He wandered the hall following the layout of the hollow and burnt out residence until he hit the kitchen where the death had occurred.  Death not murder.

_“Changed you too.”_

_I’m not a monster._

Alec could not convince himself of that thought, not fully, not with the cold empty feeling under his skin traveling alongside the parabati bond that heated through his veins.

He knelt down studying the now blackened floor, blood traces washed away in fire and the body removed by a team prior.

“I don’t know what Maryse expects us to find here.”  Alec called to Izzy through the residence.  She had wandered the other direction towards the bedroom and bathroom section.

“Try tracking Jonathan.”  She called back from one of the rooms.

Alec shot her a glare even though soot filled walls separated them and she could not see him.

“And stop glaring at me.”  She yelled.

Alec rolled his eyes.

“And don’t roll your eyes either.”  He heard her say before rounding the corner into the kitchen.  “Bedroom does not look like a fight took place, but it’s hard to tell with all the damage from the fire.  The only oddity was the pictures turned around.”  Izzy frowned.  “Jessica must have had a family before.”

Alec hummed noncommittally.  That woman had used an agony rune on him more than once.

He pulled out the shirt he had grabbed from Jonathan’s room.  One of the only items Jonathan owned since he was not allowed to retain weapons and could not go shopping due to the parole he had been placed under during his stay at the Institute.

Closing his eyes and activating the tracking rune on his hand with his stele.  Nothing.

Alec firmly did not acknowledge aloud the relief that gave him.  Knowing Jonathan remained hidden from anyone else tracking him.

“Maybe we should enlist Max or Magnus on this endeavor.”  Izzy said strolling through the rest of the establishment and finding little to nothing they could use to assist in learning where Jonathan had traveled next.

_Or not._

Jace.  Jonathan.  Both were out of his grasp and he could not protect either of them right now.

He glanced at the clock on the stove, it had been five hours since they left Jace with the Queen.  Alec reached out through the parabati bond finding Jace unharmed, it also felt faint as if a great distance stretched between them pulling at his chest in increasing discomfort.

“We’ll use Magnus.  I don’t want Max near Simon just yet until I have a further alibi set up for everyone.”  Alec told Izzy.

Izzy just raised her eyebrows up.  “Clandestine missions, secrets, and alibis.  Mom is going to make a powerful politician out of you yet.”

_“Power does not corrupt; fools corrupt power.”_

Maryse voice slid through his mind in a memory of another past lesson of politics growing up.  Obviously it had been her attempt to steer him away from the path she had wandered down before he was even aware such a path existed.  And now a different path lay before him.

Neither darkness nor light, but somewhere suspended between.

_And what does that make me?_

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Tracking the demon proved simple once the Queen’s soldier had dropped him in the middle of the Unseelie lands near what appeared to be an estate.

Traveling to this location had left Jace highly disoriented, both in time and what remained of reality.  Half the landscape seemed to move like water and what once had been a hill now stood as a pond to his right.  The rest of the landscape had undulated and warped.  Even when he looked at his feet the ground kept him confused about if he was walking on land or through water.  It did not help that the land was covered in darkness rather than that suspended twilight the Seelie Court held itself in.

The awareness that Unseelies tended to keep themselves out of Shadowhunter and downworlder problems rung a constant warning in the back of Jace’s head now that he was here.  He had thought the Queen wanted a rogue demon destroyed in her court not in this distant obscure court that Shadowhunters never dared to tread and always died in.

_And here I am._

Jace crept silently into the estate, a bout of relief traveling through him when his silent rune activated upon a thought.

The guard that had brought him here had informed him the demon would have black wings and would be residing in the room down the hall awaiting the Unseelie king’s next order.

_“His next order will be to kill a shadowhunter.  It might be one you know.”_

The Queen had told Jace as he left and she could not lie.  Just twist the truth.

Jace slipped inside the room, freezing when he realized it was a bedroom and not a dungeon of sorts as he had expected.

A young man with black feathered wings turned towards him, blinking from the bed.  “Janus?”  He questioned sleepily.

Jace did not wait for the demon to fully come awake using his mistaken identity to attack.

Red blood hit the sheets.  Jace stared at that color for a moment, a sinking cold feeling enveloped him as he realized the Seelie Queen had tricked him.

_Demons don’t have red blood.  Seelie’s don’t have red blood._

“Janus.  What…”  Red blood came from the man’s lips, Jace’s twin seraph blades impaled through his chest.  “Why?”  The confused betrayal speared through Jace’s heart even though he had no idea who this man was.

This close the black winged Unseelie, demon, human, Jace did not know, still saw only a friend that had betrayed him, white hair shining even in the darkness.

Horror began to crawl through his arms up towards his chest in tiny shakes.

Jace yanked his blade out of his chest.  “I’m…sorry.”  Jace whispered throat closing as the gravity that he had been used as a pawn again sank further in.

_What threat did you carry to the Queen?_

Jace stumbled away from the dying young man.

_Don’t think.  Think later._

He had to get out, had to complete this mission to ensure Alec, Clary, and himself did not start the war the Seelie Queen threatened.  Stop the threat the Queen hung over his own head.

Jace stared at that dying young man as he reached for him confused and afraid of the betrayal seeking an answer Jace could not give him.

_I should have let her force me._

The thought chilled him to the bone.

He had no idea she was sending him to kill a person.  Not a demon, not a Seelie, but something not quite an innocent.  She said this man would be killing a shadowhunter.  She said he was a demon, but that was impossible.

Jace stared at that red color.

Lies and truths.

Jace reeled back away from that out stretched pleading hand, shaking his own head in confusion about what ploy he had just been used in, spun and bolted out of the estate.

A shout came from behind him and he glanced back and nearly fell over his own feet.

He saw himself charging into the room, blond hair and runed body.

Ice filled his veins at that image, sweat freezing on his skin, breath halting for a moment, body going numb at the impossibility.

_It’s not real._

Jace spun and sprinted faster into the shifting forest towards where he hoped the guard the Queen had sent him with was waiting for him still.

Frustration about being used again building higher into a rage.  A rage for being played by powerful forces he had no control over again.  A rage he could not let out without risking war.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Simon and Izzy hugged each other like they would never let go the moment they entered Magnus’s loft.

Alec scooted by the pair and further into the room meeting Magnus’s glitter covered gaze.  “We need to render your services to track Jonathan.  He escaped the Institute after an incident.”  Alec explained.

“Geez, I leave for a couple days and everything goes to hell.”  Simon commented finally drawing back from the embrace with Izzy.

Izzy continued to pat Simon down like she was unsure he was going to be alright as a new Shadowhunter, his skin still completely bare of runes.

“You certain you feel alright?  No burning?  No cold?  Any numbness?  Mental faculties still working ok?  No voices?”  Izzy rapid fired the questions at Simon in a way that Alec guessed she had been asking him each day since the change.

Simon chuckled, rubbing her arms in comfort.  “Izzy, I’m fine.  Honest.”  He said.  “It’s a little strange on the senses like hearing and eyesight but considering I was only a vampire for under a year compared to my mundane life.  I think I’m doing great.  Food is getting easier to eat, I started some solids recently, so I moved on from porridge and mashed peas.”

Magnus held his hand out towards Alec, a clear request for the object to track Jonathan with.

Alec handed over the slightly worn shirt.

“I’m charging you.  I’m not doing this pro bono.”  Magnus said waving his hand at the nearby desk where a contract appeared with a nominal price tag.

_Probably to cover expenses for the ingredients in spells I have asked of him lately._

Alec glanced over the paperwork before signing it for the Institute.

Magnus had begun a simple tracking spell based on the blue glow surrounding the shirt.

Alec pulled his phone out to check the time.  Only fourteen hours had passed since he had left Jace with the Seelie Queen.  He passed his stele across his stamina rune again, the lack of sleep from the combination of the still healing agony rune and the battle last night when the demons had shown up wearing on him.

“Magnus were you there at the Seelie Queen’s reveal last night?”  Alec asked once the blue magic had faded from the shirt indicating Magnus had completed his tracking spell.

Magnus shook his head.  “No, I was caring for Simon so I neglected to participate in all the fun.”  He frowned and set the shirt aside and wandered away heading towards the staircase to the second floor of his loft.

Alec followed him brow furrowing at Magnus’s odd reaction to the tracking.  “Did you track him?”

Magnus huffed, walking down the hallway of his second floor and pushed open one of his bedroom doors.  “Showing up here was probably one of the stupidest things you could have done, Jonathan.”

Alec bolted into the room to find Jonathan sitting on the bed reading several magical tomes spread out on the bed.

“No money.” Jonathan said flippantly looking up at them.  “And I regretted leaving my ties behind.  Stupid isn’t it?  Can’t dig deep enough to tear them out.”  Jonathan closed the book he was reading, something in a language Alec could not read, before standing up from the bed and moving towards Alec touching their foreheads together in greeting.

Jonathan’s skin felt cool and clammy against his own sweaty forehead.

Alec turned his head to glance over at Magnus who was studying Jonathan with a suspicious expression.

“If you expect me to say yes to let him stay in my loft the answer is- No.”  Magnus said before Alec could even question him.

“Already stayed here a day without him noticing me.”  Jonathan extended his arm to show the cloth he had wrapped around his arm that was written in blood and held presumably a spell or runes.  Which is it was Alec was uncertain.

Alec faced Magnus fully noting the golden eyes flashing in anger at Jonathan.  “What would I owe you to take him in until I can get the Clave off his back or implement him as a Centurion under my control?”  He told Magnus.

Magnus spun a ball of blue white energy up with one hand sending it towards Jonathan where it wrapped around his throat easily before coalescing into a thin strip of cord around his neck.  No bell this time.

“Why do you fight for him so strongly, Alexander?”  Magnus questioned almost sadly.  “Just give me a reason why I should protect him.”

“Because I am not giving him up to the Clave to be experimented on for the rest of his life.  They’ll come after me next and then Jace.  I won’t let the New York Institute fall because a demonic boy came back as a shadowhunter.”  Alec moved closer to Magnus.  “Out of everyone you understand that burden of having demonic royalty in your blood.  The pain and sacrifice to come back from that.  Don’t let Jonathan have to struggle with this more than he has to.”

Magnus reached out to touch Alec’s shoulder, a slight twitch as if he wanted to cup Alec face with that hand.  “And you?  Who helps you?”

“Jace.” Alec replied, the pendant on his chest burned softly probably due to its creator’s presence so near.  It had burned the other times he had been in the loft as well.

That bond that stood between Jace and himself had become a focal point to balance upon both his sanity and his control.

_So long as he comes back._

Magnus sighed, tilting his head back in exasperation.  “Fine.  The fugitive can stay, but only if he loses all of that.”  He waved his hand at the spells written on Jonathan’s shirt.

“Excellent.  Does Simon get to know I’m here?”  Jonathan stripped the shirt off that held the spell tossing it at Magnus, who deflected it with a hand to land on the floor with an irritated look.  “Can I spook him into thinking ghosts exist?”

“No.  Magnus could you excuse us for a moment?”  Alec said crossing his arms staring down at Jonathan and his green eyes.

Magnus tilted his head back and spun on his heels in a way that Alec knew meant he was still listening but would respect their privacy for the moment.

“Why did you kill her?”  Alec questioned Jonathan after Magnus’s footsteps had faded.

Jonathan stood up to hiss in Alec’s face.  “You know why.”

Revenge and hatred, Alec understood that sentiment and it scared him how little he felt that the poor woman had lost a family to Jonathan driving her towards her own vengeance.

Alec closed his eyes blocking Jonathan out for a moment.

_Break the cycle.  Easier said than done._

“Jonathan, all you had to do was not kill anyone for another week and it would have been over.  Did you at least wear gloves?  A mask?  Anything to avoid leaving evidence behind?”  Alec demanded.

“I’m not you!  I can’t just walk away from someone that tortured me!”  Jonathan yelled grabbing Alec’s shoulders staring at him.

“Answer the question.”  Alec coldly stated leveling him with a hard look.

“I wore gloves and burnt the place to the ground.  Very little evidence could be placed on me.  I never even touched her except with the blade and around her wrists with gloves.”  Jonathan replied stepping closer.  “They can assume all they want.  They cannot pin it on me.”  Jonathan gripped his gloved hand bringing it up to his face and pressing it against his face.  “What did you find?”

That mild red fire inside his arm twisted sharply driving a need into his body again.  The parabati bond stretching between realms to wherever Jace had traveled without him felt thinner with the ever increasing distance.

“Kujo.”  Alec whispered.

Jonathan’s lips turned up in a wicked smile breaking out in a mild chuckle that hit Alec’s mouth.   “Ecstatic.”

Alec gripped his neck halting any motion.  “Don’t test me right now.”  He warned.

“Is that what you tell your parabati before you take him?”  Jonathan taunted barely brushing their mouths together, it left a vague heat behind.

Nothing like what ignited in his veins when Jace so much as looked at him, but it still hovered there an acknowledgement that there was a connection present.

“Pure one.”  Jonathan backed off pulling on a different shirt.  “To bad you are not Clary.  Or Izzy.”

Alec blinked as the spark faded bringing with it what Jonathan sought.

“Jonathan.  This isn’t about sex.  It’s about connection.  Now come over here.”  Alec ordered stepping back towards Jonathan meeting him halfway wrapping his arms around the red head.  Listening as the ex-demon let out a rattled breath before leaning into the hug.

“I thought you would leave me to them all.”  Jonathan whispered broken clutching onto his jacket tightly.

“Connection does not have to be about sex.  I will always be here for you.”  Alec huffed slightly running a hand down the spine he could recall creating now.

“Can I seduce your warlock or Isabelle then?  Clary confuses me now, I don’t have an urge to fuck her anymore.”  Jonathan questioned into his jacket.

Alec sighed rolling his eyes at the last comment.  “Only if Magnus or Izzy let you.  Respect that.  Remember that, it’s about respect not power or control.”

“Not interrupting am I?”  Magnus questioned by the door, one eyebrow arched as he looked at the two of them in a rather intimate embrace.

They stepped apart.

“Not at all.”  Alec said rubbing the back of his neck, even if it was innocent being caught in anything by Magnus was awkward still.

Jonathan wandered over to Magnus trailing a hand down the warlock’s chest ignoring the blaze of warning Magnus’s eyes shot him.  “You are real encouraging, pure one.”  Then pointed to himself with a mocking smile.  “Devious and insane here.”  Jonathan called leaving the two in the room together.

“Should I be worried for my virtue?”  Magnus questioned Alec, head cocking to the side slightly as he peered at him.

Alec ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his chest where the uncomfortable pain had slowly been increasing since Jace had wandered voluntarily into the Seelie lands.  “Jonathan will not hurt you.  We may not be together, but he understands how much I value your life.  Just maybe don’t encourage him unless you are ready for that.”

“I’m not.”  Magnus stated.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The Queen examined the blade Jace handed to her that carried the red blood of the victim he had just murdered in her political ploy within the Seelie realm.

The fact she still stood half nude before him did not help the cold feeling in his limbs or the tight knot in his stomach, tightening his shoulders into a lock that he could not seem to ease.  His senses were maxed out from the revolving motion of the Unseelie lands.

“You are free to go.  Your debts have been paid.”  The Queen dismissed him with a lovely smile full of pointed teeth but did not relinquish his blade back to him.

No relief came.  If anything Jace became more wary.

Jace hesitated in debate about asking for his weapon back before deeming it not worth the possible pain as it was his chest had begun to bother him further.  A sharp pull demanding he return to his parabati.

_I can obtain a new weapon at the Institute._

Jace gave her the required bow and left with Meliorn.

He adamantly forced the thought of that black winged boy from his mind.

_You don’t regret it._

He could not let himself regret it.  The moment he did what was the point in saving Alec, Clary, and himself.  Possibly stopping a war as well.  Was one life worth all that?

_Yes._

It had to be.

If he let it be anything else he could not do his job.

He clenched his fists at his side following Meliorn through the twilight forest back towards the portal.

_You don’t regret it._

The disappointment in his choice to follow the Queen’s suggestion so easily and the sadness for the boy’s death followed him out of the portal and into the twilight hours of New York.

Jace turned away from the Institute following instinct and broke into a jog that quickly turned into a sprint.

Breathe coming harsher the harder he ran only slowing down when he realized where his feet were taking him.

_Magnus’s._

Jace stumbled up to the landing where Magnus’s door sat, exhaustion starting to permeate his body as he realized safety was only a few steps away.

Regret for his choices in the last day stung sharply.

_Don’t regret it._

The reminder did nothing for him as he rapped on the door.

Pity for the opposing side would get him nowhere.

A few moments later and Izzy pulled the door open and then he was in Alec’s arms clutching him tightly, burrowing his face into his neck to wipe the last day away from his senses.  Inhaling the scent that was Alec, breathing in again trying to drown in his scent.

Alec held him just as firmly, arms wrapped around him pressing their chests together as the pain eased off that had built up over time from being separated through two realms.

Jace yanked Alec down to him to slant their mouths together needing to wipe any toxin and pollen induced hormonal desire for Seelies from his mind.  Needing to blot out the confused pain and trust that young man had looked at him with.

Trust.

Jace had not realized that was what was held in those grey green eyes, watching him with that horrid emotion even as the stranger’s life was taken, until now and it just made him want to blot out being used as an assassin further.

Alec must have sensed something in the kiss because he gripped Jace’s head pulling him back to deepen the kiss, turning it into something rough and sensual, something to blot out the hyperstress of the last day.

Jace slid his hand up to Alec’s neck hauling him closer pressing the full length of his body against Alec.

“Wow.  Ok.  So your sister is standing right here!  I don’t want to see this.”  Izzy complained.

Alec tore himself away from Jace both breathing hard.

Jace stared at that red, kiss swollen mouth for longer than he probably should before managing to turn his head to look over at Izzy.  And Simon.

Jace winced to himself, but refused to relinquish his hold on Alec.

He had not even noticed the brown haired man when he walked into Magnus’s until now.

Simon had a massive smug grin on his face.  “I totally called it.”  He went to high five Izzy, after a moment she obliged him halfheartedly.  “Do I win the bet or not?  Because you sort of knew before me, but I called it first.  So who actually won?”

Alec frowned at that.

“You had a bet about us?”  Jace questioned stunned glancing between Izzy and Simon but found himself swaying unconsciously back into Alec’s space.  The bond humming for connection.

Izzy rolled her eyes and plopped down on the couch.  “Simon made the bet after your fainting episode when Clary blew up Seelie date rape central.  I just did not correct him.”  At Alec’s glare, she added.  “I’m not going to lie to my boyfriend and I could not exactly broadcast you two.”  Then she grumbled.  “It’s not like you ever made it clear what went on with you two half the time anyway.”

Alec slid his hand around Jace’s side to press his hand against the parabati rune, heat flared across Jace when he touched it.

“Simon, I have to return to the Institute to discuss a few things with Maryse but I should have you ready to rejoin society in a couple of days.”  Alec stated reining in the heat and passion and recovering faster than Jace.

Simon’s smug grin did not change instead he went from looking between the two of them to pointing between the two of them.  “Jace you just kind of walked in and it was all desperate and romantic.  And it was all movie-esque like you could die unless you…“

_I am not desperate!_

Jace held up a hand, plastering a cocky grin on his face rather than the irritated frown that wanted to form from being called desperate.  “Simon, I don’t complain about you and Izzy kissing.  But I can always start.”  Jace said.

Alec shifted uncomfortably beside him clearly not sure quite how to proceed from here.

Simon’s smile faded.  “Seriously?  I was only joking.”  He glanced between the two of them.  “Wait.  What about the curse?”

“It won’t affect us.”  Alec said quickly glancing towards one of the hallways in the loft.

Jace snapped his gaze towards Alec.  “What?”

Shock ran through his system.  He knew the power had been growing in increments.  Simon’s comment about his blood glowing and killing half those bugs in his system.

Alec stepped away from him.  “Let’s get to the Institute to solve Simon’s issue to reintegrate with Shadowhunter society.” He said.

“No.  I’m with Jace on this.  I suspected it does not affect you two because you haven’t gone mad.  Even when Jace held both your souls, but seriously how do you know?”  Izzy commented crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes on her brother.

Alec opened Magnus’s door back up to let them out and did not respond just gave Izzy and Jace a pointed glance for them to move their asses.

_Not letting that go._

“Izzy.  Just give me a second with him.”  Jace said before going out in the hall where Alec was waiting for them.

Alec was leaning against the banister clearly agitated to get out of there.  Either because he had just made out with Jace in Magnus’s home or because of the task of Simon.

“Alright.  I am your parabati.  And I’ll be honest, the curse has been the furthest thing from my mind lately.  But what the hell, Alec?”  Jace said.

Alec tightened his hand into a fist before adjusting the strap on his quiver.  “We both died and came back.  You by the Angel.”  He lifted his hand up rotating his hand in front of him watching it.  “Me by the souls and that chrysalis.”  He glanced over at Jace.  “All it takes is balance.”  Alec turned back towards Magnus’s door and loudly called to Izzy.  “Let’s go!”

Jace tossed around what balance meant the rest of the way back to the Institute, happy to have something to focus on that did not involve a Seelie.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_Burning heavenly fire, cold death, and hateful Edom all things they had survived._

Jace stared blankly at the computer screen where he sat working on his report about the Seelie mission, cursor still blinking halfway through the written report.

He did not want to think about being used as an assassin instead he had let his mind wander to his dark haired parabati whom he knew was currently locked in Maryse’s office and had been since shortly after they returned to the Institute.

Alec could absorb demonic essence, the chrysalis, and unleash it if desired.  He knew that, had witnessed it only twice.

_“It was safe.”_

_“It was lightning and life.”_

Jace hit save on the report and pushed out of his chair.  Izzy cast him a cursory glance before returning to her own report.

_“I can feel it sinking in.  Twisting.”_

That had been before his own blood had been detectable by Simon as a glow.

Then he own words floated back to him.

_“You know we are kind of a dichotomy. Two souls always needing the other but ultimately we are one soul.”_

Jace wandered down to the training hall, wrapping his hands automatically before beginning to warm up into the punching bag, letting the rhythm drown out the buzz in his head.

“I see you continue to attract attention and danger even after your girlfriend left.”  Jia Penhallow stood halfway into the training hall, dark hair cropped short.

Jace frowned at the comment, catching the punching bag to halt its motion.

He was aware that Jia’s daughter Aline was not fond of Clary but had not expected any aggression from her mother.

“I just stopped a war from starting with the Seelies.”  He pushed away from the punching bag, but left the bindings on his hands.  “And not that it’s any of your business but Clary and I are not together.”

Jia studied him closely, eyes narrowed to discern a lie finding none her face smoothed out.  “And what are your thoughts on Jonathan Morgenstern?  He was your biggest problem and supposedly you killed him once before.”

Jace locked eyes with her.  “Alec Lightwood will decide if Jonathan stays alive here or is sent back to the Clave for persecution.”  He claimed.

“The crown jewels of this Institute.  Does that crown weigh heavily I wonder?”  Jia asked tilting her head up.  “If Alec judges Jonathan incorrectly the Clave will kill him as well.”

Jace moved before he thought, grabbing her wrist and slamming his hand into her shoulder bringing Jia to the floor in a moment.  “Don’t threaten Alec.  He has done more for the Shadowhunter community than anyone else and has successfully continued Jonathan’s rehabilitation since he has been here.”

Jia bent one of his fingers back forcing him to release her.  “So you agree with Alec’s view to keep him alive.”  She said it as a statement, not a question barely phased by the violence.

And that said much about how Jace actually felt about the issue of Jonathan and Alec.

Jace backed up, reaching out a hand to help her up because he would not make Jia into an enemy.  “Yes.”  He was surprised it did not come out as a question.

Jia took his hand, pulling herself to her feet and tilted her head in acknowledgement of his view towards Jonathan.  “Your judgement may have appeared skewed at the time with Clary, but you ended up saving us from Valentine.  Perhaps you see something in people others do not.”  She turned and left the training hall.

_Alec believes in him._

Alec came back from all of Edom lashing through him.  Jonathan could return from his insanity.  Jace needed to believe that now because as much as he hated to admit it Alec needed Jonathan as a friend.

Jace hit the punching bag again, quickly losing himself back into the rhythm.

Alec found him hours later soaked in sweat and numb but still hitting that punching bag.

Jace could feel him enter the training room, the parabati rune at his side heating as Alec drew closer.

“That dog was yours.”  Jace said without looking at Alec.

Silence.

Then a whisper near him.  “Yes.”

Pure rage filled him.

Jace spun and cracked Alec across the face as hard as he could, sending Alec to the floor in a half roll attempting to recover from the blow.  “What the fuck!”  Jace screamed, anger burning through his veins hotly.

Alec came up from the roll in a defensive position, arms up but did not retaliate.

Jace growled low in his throat and began swiftly unwinding the bindings around his wrists that had protected his hands from the punching bag.  “You know what.  I don’t care.  I’m done.”  Jace threw the bindings towards the wall and bolted out of the room.

He felt more than heard Alec bolt after him.

Jace careened through the Institutes hallways heading towards the roof, breaking out into the night air on a gasp.  His chest felt constricted, pain throbbed through his heart cruelly.

Alec caught him a moment later, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

Jace elbowed him in the ribs as hard as he could, satisfied when he heard the grunt of pain.

“Not letting you go until I explain.”  Alec rumbled out.

Jace threw his head back and howled at him in rage, thrashing to be let go.  He was done.  He could not do this chase again.

Alec tightened his hold on him.

Jace squeezed his eyes shut, hating the wetness he felt there, the pain in his heart bleeding faster than the fear running through him knowing he had lost.  Lost the one person he loved more than anyone else.

Alec gripped one of his arms, turning it sharply into a bar and twisted the limb forcing Jace to turn with the pain.

“That hellhound’s power was the balance to the heavenly fire produced from the parabati bond!”  Alec shouted at him.

_You’re wrong…_

Jace froze for a moment, before fighting the hold around him with renewed strength.  “Lies.  You lie to me!”  He snarled, fighting the sharpness behind his eyes that threatened to form even through his rage.

Alec slammed him into the ground hard enough for him to see stars, allowing Alec to pin him with his thighs as he blinked them away.  “Look at me.”  Alec ordered.

Jace glared at him meeting those brown eyes with his own angry heterochromia ones.  “Why?  So you can lie again?”  Jace spat.

“No.  So I can tell you that the parabati curse exists.  I can feel its burn, its power, even now.”  Alec sat back enough to allow Jace some breathing room but still kept him pinned with his body.  “And I don’t want to burn up in a fiery inferno.  I tried that before, it does not end well.”

Jace narrowed his eyes, he did not appreciate the attempt at any humor right now.

“Every time I let the darkness in, it was too much.  It overpowered everything.”  Alec said still holding him down.

Jace stayed quiet, unbelieving of what he was hearing, then with a surge of fury he reached up and shoved as much energy into Alec’s parabati rune as he could.

Alec turned and spat something dark out, but did not retch as he had before.  “Thanks for that.”  He said flatly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You didn’t get sick.”  Jace stated the obvious more for himself in acknowledgement that at least it was not a lot this time.

“Like I said.  It was a balance that I had no idea could even exist until that agony rune.”  Alec replied but he clenched his jaw tight between each statement.  “I created Jonathan with something dark.  I closed that rift with something that should corrupt.  I lived through it all because of our bond.”  Alec leaned forward to rest his head on Jace’s shoulder.  “I will die when you die and never before or after.  My soul is intricately locked to yours now.”

Jace bit back another scream of rage, icy dread filling his veins at the convoluted logic.

_It’s not right…that’s not how this works…_

Jace tugged at Alec’s jacket until he could see the skin on his arm, running his hand along the veins that remained free of darkness.  “So a hellhound is inside of you and somehow not corrupting you right now?”  Jace asked articly, hoping that the ice flowing through his veins right now would sink into Alec.

_Corruption is not balance.  What am I still missing?_

The pendant around Alec’s neck hit Jace’s chest with a small thump.  He could feel the warmth from it sinking through his own shirt to heat his skin.

_It’s not the darkness keeping the curse back…_

The red haze of anger and pain eased back, leaving only a sharp pain in Jace’s chest that threatened to constrict that organ that lay there.

_I’ll burn us both up to keep you._

“Alec…”  Jace swallowed, shaking his head.  “I can’t do this chase anymore.  But feeling the way I do about you…”  He slid one hand up to hold Alec’s jaw forcing him to look him in the eyes, needing to see him.  “I love you.”

Alec froze, Jace was unsure if he was even breathing at that moment.

Jace threw him a small rueful smile before aiming his hand back onto the parabati rune and throwing the feelings he felt for Alec along with the energy behind them into a punch of power to get that bit of darkness out.

He might have overdone it a bit because Alec’s veins lit up white and crackled for a moment before the explosion of angelic power washed out over the roof of the Institute in a haze of white and blue.

Alec slumped over on him, a dead weight.

“You’re an idiot with that hellhound, you know.”  Jace tugged on the pendant around Alec’s neck.  “It’s this thing.  Not anything demonic.”

In Alec’s defense Jace had not figured it out until a few moments ago, but he was not about to admit that.

Alec gave a low groan in response.  “You’re in love with me?”  Alec asked.

_That’s the part you focus on?_

Jace frowned at the question, but could not see Alec’s face buried in his shoulder.  “No, I normally seek my runaway parabati over and over and lock my soul to yours for the duration of our lives without falling in love with him.”  Jace said sarcastically and wrapped his arms around Alec to keep him from moving away, feeling that sharpness in his chest increase as his resolve strengthened.  “You are my heart, don’t ever forget that.”  He said quietly in Alec’s ear, burying his face into Alec’s neck at the shiver he felt go through him.

One of their phones started to buzz.  Neither of them responded, laying there on the cold roof wrapped in each others arms.

But Jace knew he could not continue this battle any longer and every part of him felt like it was breaking, shattering even as he clutched Alec to him.

_I cannot chase you into darkness again.  I need you to follow me just once._

Jace tightened his hold on Alec further, knowing he was lying to himself even as he steeled himself to sit up and walk away.

Walk away and see if Alec followed.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace closed the office door behind him as he entered Maryse’s office.

Alec was going to hate him for this but considering everything this had to happen.

“Jace, Lydia is looking for you.  You have not completed the report on your mission to the Seelie realm.”  Maryse pointed out setting aside her work to look at him fully.

_Crap._

He had not forgotten, just had become sidetracked.  Slightly.  For a few hours.

“I want you to pull Alec off all missions.”  Jace spun his stele in his hand and bounced it off the chair in front of him, now the hard part.  “He’s mentally unstable.  I also want you to pull me from all missions for eight weeks as well.”

Maryse straightened in her chair and narrowed her eyes at him.  “You do realize we are attempting a manhunt for Jonathan right now.  Alec and you both understand him best.”

_Not like anyone but Max could track him anyway._

Jace crossed his arms in front of him in his usual dominant stance.  “He is unfit for duty.”  He did not elaborate why he felt he required the time off as well.  Mind still half numb with his own decision and telling Alec he was done.

_She’s never going to give us two full months off.  Not with an Institute to run and Jonathan hiding somewhere._

“Alright.  Eight weeks.”  Maryse said pulling out two forms.

“Alright, but he…”  Jace stopped talking for a moment.  “Alright?”  Jace asked stunned.

Maryse continued to fill out the forms, not sparing him a glance.  “I raised you both.  I may have been gone for large chunks of time leaving the three of you to raise yourselves, but I am not blind.”  She glanced up at him.  “Neither am I stupid.  You’ve been asking for time off for months and aside from a couples days here and there I have not allowed it.”  Maryse went back to writing on the forms, speaking softer.  “Perhaps I pushed you both harder than I thought you could handle recently and I would rather not send either of you to a psychologist.  Your own recent actions in the field and Alec’s torture are large factors in this decision.”

Jace gripped the chair in front of him.  He was uncertain if that swooping feeling traveling through him right now was panic towards one of her comments or an indicator he might pass out from relief.

He knew Maryse had changed since her deruning and then being brought back to the Institute but he also had not anticipated for her to bend so easily.  Especially considering the length of time he requested.

Maryse smiled when she glanced back up at him.  “Don’t look so horrified.”  She pushed the two forms towards him.  “Fill out your last report and you can start your eight week leave.  And you will be training Simon with Alec for the duration of your vacation so you are not completely off the hook.  I already have Brother Zachariah returning in a few days for Alec after what the other Silent Brother informed me.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Simon moved into the Institute a couple days later, complete with a ton of paperwork that helped keep both himself and Jace busy.  Simon complained that Magnus’s loft had creeped him out in ways he never thought magic could accomplish.

Considering all the demons and warlocks at the Seelie Queen’s reveal it became quite simple to add a note that Simon had been captured and sucked dry of his immortality, thus leaving him as a Shadowhunter.

The loophole that vampires would hunt shadowhunters for their blood more frequently if that news ever escaped the Institute was easy to keep.  No shadowhunter in their right mind wanted to advertise the fact that it must have been Simon feeding on a shadowhunter to make him into a Daylighter.  And that was even if the current Shadowhunters in the Institute made that connection and considering many vampires had fed on Shadowhunters in the past Alec doubted all the smaller connections would fully form without leaving other questions to ponder.

Alec guessed some of them might make the connection to Jace, but none would ever come up with concrete evidence nor would they dare to test it out with their life.

Alec started up the simulation for training today which would include the most common demon forms frozen in a three dimensional image for Simon to inspect.

A cry came from across the room where Simon and Jace had just entered.

“You keep corpses in here!”  Simon yelped.

Alec raised his eyebrows at the shrill sound.

“They are three dimensional images.”  Jace said with an amused grin, waving his hand through one of the images, where it fizzed as his hand passed through it.

“Certainly looks dead.”  Simon grumbled, rubbing his hands over his arms and eyeing the image in horror.

“Just wait until we get to dissection.”  Jace smiled over at Simon who paled at the idea.

Alec found one side of his mouth turning up.  “It gets worse at demonic breeding and plagues.” He called.

The smile dropped from Jace’s face and Alec felt a jolt of pain go through his chest at the realization he was the cause of it.

Jace had been avoiding Alec ever since the rooftop and Alec had no idea why.  Hell, he had told him he loved him and then just got up and left saying he could not continue until Alec stopped.

It had left a cold feeling of loss and confusion to settle in Alec.

Simon glanced over at Alec to gauge just how serious he was about that idea.  “You are both joking, right?”  He asked slightly unsure.

Jace clapped him on the back and steered him towards the first demonic beast for instruction of the day, only talking to Alec when required.

Alec reached up to the pendant under his shirt rolling it between his forefinger and thumb, the pendant had stopped its incessant burn since the rooftop and Alec had not realized it had been burning him off and on for so long that sometimes he was stunned to realize it was not burning against his skin now.

_It never left a mark because it was not my skin it was influencing._

Strange how he never figured that out after months of having it lay against his skin.

Now he floundered under his own decision to remain within the Institutes walls during the mandatory leave Maryse had slapped him with.

_And now I lost the one that mattered most._

Alec wanted to return to his room and fall into that halfway point he had discovered inside himself, maybe dive further towards the light until he left his body again.  He scoffed at himself, that direction lay suicide for his body at least.

_“What does sanity feel like today?”_

_Jace._

It was always Jace.

The thought did not lessen the pain in his chest knowing he lost Jace.

Alec fell into a strange rhythm of training Simon with Jace and then Jace avoiding him the rest of the day which was not hard, Brother Zachariah showing up and running him through a multitude of mental tests kept them apart.

Izzy joined sometimes to train Simon, sometimes they went to the courtyard for meals.

And through it all Alec could not shake the feeling of loss that continued to float through the bond from Jace.

_You walked away from me…_

That more than anything convinced Alec not leave the Institute.

Irrational behavior, yet Alec found himself following it regardless.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Brother Zachariah’s angelic power washed over Alec.

It did not hurt as the other Silent Brother’s probing mind had, this always felt more soothing.

Alec closed his eyes allowing the Silent Brother to begin to erect walls within his own mind, cutting off the screams, easing the thoughts of darkness and bringing down previously built walls letting in other memories of Edom and the weeks or months without most of his soul.

_“These walls will come down with time.  Slowly, set at a pace for you to deal with each instance one at a time until you have grounded yourself enough to view them all, without the use of the agony rune or falling to madness.”_ Brother Zachariah’s voice reverberated through his mind.

Alec recalled those images, those memories as the Silent Brother pushed them forward in his mind allowing Alec to examine his own bloody scars under a controlled environment without bolting into a demon nest or writhing in pain.

Alec glanced across the room where Simon and Izzy both sat setting up for the impromptu anime night.

He could hear Izzy grumbling about Jace being late which brought a fresh bout of pain that he viciously attempted to hide from the Silent Brother currently probing his mind from wherever he stood in the Institute.

The hellhounds braying breath passed over his skin in a phantom memory like a touch.  A touch that warped itself into Jace sliding his hand down his arm leaving a burning trail.

_I’m stronger than this..._

If the Silent Brother caught any of the twisted thoughts about Jace or if he only viewed them as part of a deranged mind, Alec had no idea.

Alec felt another pressure inside his skull, smelled the blood and felt the electricity of power move through him as the Silent Brother guided him through his own personal hell.  Exposing him to all the reasons he should have turned away from it in the first place.

_“Do you understand how Jace was able to capture your soul in his body?”_ The deep echo of the Silent Brother asked.

Alec shook his head before realizing the Silent Brother could not actively see him.  “No.”

This felt strange, talking to a voice in your head that was not a voice but a real person.  Insanity at its finest.  Even after a month of this he still was not used to it.

_“You give a soul something familiar, something it loves, something it understands deeply and that can lure it to places it should never venture.”_ Brother Zachariah’s voice reverberated through him.

Alec kept his eyes closed, waiting for the pressure to build in his skull.  None came.

“Why?” He whispered.

That single question held so many replies that Alec was unsure he even wanted an answer.

“Who are you talking to?”  Simon called from across the room with a half laugh.

Alec cracked one eye open to view Simon.  “Silent Brother.”  He closed that eye again.

_“I believe you already know the answer to that.  You changed.  You are a shadowhunter but you are also something else now.”_ The Silent Brother’s voice rolled through his head.

Alec felt the parabati rune warm at his side indicating Jace had entered the room.  He could sense the pause as Jace realized he was there.

“Kind of hypocritical to your training then.”  Alec said.  He knew none of the others had any idea what he was talking about and kept his eyes closed.

_Would just add to the crazy members of this Institute are starting to think I am._

He could not look at Jace right now with a Silent Brother wandering the halls in his mind, it would bring back the roaring need to be close to him again.

_“A hypocrite is someone undergoing change.  Your bond has changed and shifted to allow you both to live without burning either of you up.  A strange occurrence.”_ Said so calmly that it took a moment for it to sink into his mind where the silent brother still shifted barriers around seeping memories out for him to examine without falling.

One pulled forward, a memory of heated skin still wet from a storm.

Alec surged upright in his seat.  “No!”  He grabbed his hair.  “Get out.  Get out!”  He shook his head trying to remove the presence from his mind.  “Just get out!”

The soothing pressure on his skull slid away, leaving him shaky and… why were his cheeks wet.  That had never happened before during a session.

“Alec?”  Jace’s voice sounded wary and uncertain.

Alec ducked his head down, wishing he had just stayed in his room this time.

_Two months of barely speaking to me and now he wants to…_

Most times when the Silent Brother did his little conversations Alec had been able to function through training, meals, and most frequently sitting in Izzy’s room.  Izzy’s since Jace had pulled back and away after that admission on the rooftop, neither venturing to the others room and the few conversations they had felt either loaded or stilted.

Jace sat down on Izzy’s bed the furthest away from Alec he could get.

It bothered Alec more than he cared to admit.  He still felt the draw certainly, but he could also see why Jace had given up and wanted to give him space to mend even if every fiber of his being wanted to curl around him.

_“Did I ever reach you...”_

_“You reached me every time…”_

And he had thought it was the truth thinking he could resist, could control.  At least now he had made it through all eight weeks and thus far had managed not to leave the Institute.  Fear of losing Jace further than he already had kept him locked inside.  He knew it was irrational.  It did not stop him from linking Jace’s acceptance of him to the now nonexistent pull towards darkness.

Sometime during the last two months his thinking had shifted latching onto the Institute, his own projects, Izzy’s weapons projects, training, and Jace.  His mind slipped away from Jace quickly.

_Don’t think about Jace…_

The eight weeks of leave time made him wonder just how much his mother knew since she brought the Silent Brother in and pulled him off every mission quite suddenly and with no explanation.

_Unless Jace said something after the rooftop._

A glance at Jace just showed the usual crease in Jace’s brow that meant he was upset.  Reaching out through the bond Alec tried to sense the flow of emotions better.

Jace slammed the temporary barrier up to conceal his feelings.

Alec flinched visibly and rubbed at the rune at his side where it now stung.

Regret, guilt, and remorse spiraled in aching waves through Alec.  Underneath it all the soul deep sadness reaching for his other half that appeared to want nothing to do with him now that he had proven himself tainted and flawed.

Alec stood up controlling his motions stiffly and left the room before the tears could start to spill again, ignoring the call from Izzy, twisting in the hallway to slam into his own door and get inside latching it shut, pressing his head to the door before the tears started to fall.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace was not sure how much he had drank since Alec left Izzy’s room, but considering his limbs felt a little fuzzy and the room swayed when he turned his head it was probably more than he should have.

The alcohol he wanted to drown the pain etched in his chest and parabati rune in had only increased watching Izzy and Simon snuggle closer together on the couch Alec had vacated before they even started the show.

“Jace, just go to him.”  Izzy called from her spot snuggled with Simon.

Anger shot through him at the suggestion.

Jace exploded.  “I’m not going to that asshole.  If he wants something he can come talk to me.”  Lunging up from the bed as the fury he had held tightly to the last two months crashed through him in a riptide of anguish.

“Huh?”  Simon questioned, clearly at a loss from Jace’s sheer vehemence.

Izzy continued carefully painting the nails on her hand in a bright red color.  “It’s your bond to waste.”  She muttered.

_He threw it away.  Not me._

That just pissed him off further.  “Shut up.  Alec is out of line and its taking a Silent Brother to put him back in place.”

_It had nothing to do with him anymore._

The fuzzy alcohol in his system had done nothing to numb the pain of walking away from Alec and he resented the bottle held in his hand for its lack of accomplishing its mission.

Izzy carefully put the nail polish brush back on its container.  “Your point?  You went way out of line with Clary for months.  Alec is a shadowhunter-”

“He’s not!”  Jace paused at his own interrupting shout, shaking his head.  “He’s not.”  He repeated again softer.

_He was a shadowhunter.  Was a god.  Was a demon.  Still is my parabati._

Jace plopped back down on the bed suddenly exhausted and woozy from the alcohol.  He refused to chase Alec down again, no matter how strong the urge.

_Just come back to me.  Just once._

It was sometime later when Jace had wandered back to his own room and lay curled under his own sheets half asleep that he felt Alec slip into his bed and curl around him.

Jace pretended to stay asleep, chest constricting in too much pain to acknowledge the presence.  When he felt Alec tremble against him and heard a stuttered inhale as Alec pulled him closer pressing his face against Jace’s shoulder, Jace forced his body limp.

He firmly ignored the dampness on his shoulder Alec left behind when he got up a while later and slipped back out.

It was only after the door had closed that Jace whispered.  “Stay.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Jace had not said a word since he and Alec left the Institute together on assignment to kill a lone Vetis demon that had been stealing from various diamond stores throughout New York.  Vetis demons were tall humanoid with arms that ended in teeth rather than hands.  They also loved to hoard bright, shiny things.  Hence diamonds.

This would be the first mission for either of them in two months and Maryse had insisted they went together with Izzy as a training exercise for Simon.

The walk towards the demon’s hoard of diamonds had procured silence between them and a still burning hum that Jace could feel just under his skin.

_Our bond or the deeper need?_

Jace could not tell and the thought moved restlessly within him forcing him to move seeking action to answer the demands he could not ask.  Not without tearing out his own heart again.

Mostly Jace hated the dread curling through his system and despised the stillness that lay between them that had built up over the two months Jace spent forcibly ignoring Alec.

“Want relationship advice?”  Simon questioned from beside him with a small knowing grin.

Jace frowned, clenching his fists.  “You would be the last person I’d ask.”  He drawled not meeting Simon’s eyes and instead scanning the storefronts searching for the name they needed.

Simon shrugged.  “No one likes relationship advice.  Never thought I would say this, but it’s painful watching you two lately.”

Jace cringed, he was not that obvious in his yearning for Alec.

_Yeah right, you dream about him just about every night now._

Jace glanced across the street where Alec and Izzy were talking to a few men in black suits and even larger bodyguards standing beside them.

_Found the storefront._

He could see Izzy throw her head back in a laugh at something one of the men said.  Alec slipping the keys from one of their pockets as they were distracted by Izzy’s charms.  The bodyguards took no notice.

Alec moved away from them a distance, passing his stele over the visibility rune before holding up the set of keys for Jace and Simon to see glinting in the light.

“Never figured Alec for being the pick pocketing type.”  Simon commented.

Jace actually felt a small smile begin to form.  “Just wait until he steals a bag of diamonds for our demon to sniff out.”

Simon actually gaped back at Jace at that.  “No way.”

Ten minutes later and Alec came booking it back out of the diamond shop two bodyguards chasing after him shouting blasphemies.  Alec spun down one of the alleyways before Jace or Simon could react, by the time they arrived with Izzy both bodyguards were out flat on the ground, a canister of gas laying between them.

“Thought you were stealthy?”  Izzy questioned chuckling at the fact her brother stood awkwardly perched on the side of a building using two of his arrows as footholds imbedded into the wall.

It was what lay beneath Alec that had Simon starting to laugh and a grin starting to form on Jace’s face.

A giant dumpster, open and filled with smelly garbage and flies buzzing around it, there were several near it as well preventing Alec from just being able to leap over it.  Alec would either fall into one of those dumpsters or suffer the indignity of requiring one of them to help him get down.

“How did you even get up there?”  Jace asked searching the walls in an attempt to figure out the logistics of Alec’s maneuver.  There was none he could decipher.

“I jumped.”  Alec snarked back.

“Toss the diamonds here.  We don’t want them getting dirty.”  Izzy called to her brother with a grin and making a motion of someone falling with her hand.

Alec gave her a deadpan glare but tossed the bag of jewels to her which she caught in midair.

“How do you plan on getting down?”  Simon called holding up his phone to snap a picture.  Jace could hear the small click as the picture was taken.

Alec froze, expression going deadly and with a feral snarl launched himself from the side of the building.

Jace bolted from his spot activating speed and agility runes with a thought and launched himself in the air wrapping his arms around Alec, the impact giving them each just enough momentum to clip the metal rim of the dumpster before tumbling to the ground in a heap.

Blackness and stars swam around his vision for a moment telling him he hit his head on the concrete.

_Ow._

Alec shifted on top of him, the hard weight bringing up memories and dreams Jace really did not want to react to lying next to a stinking dumpster.  “Get off me.”  Alec grumbled into his ear.

Jace huffed and then turned to spit out the smell of dumpster.  “You are on top of me, parabati.”

“You are _stuck_ on my quiver.”  Alec growled.

Jace could hear Izzy laughing and Simon questioning if they were alright.

Jace managed to extract his arm from the quiver’s strap he had become entangled with and Alec stood up moving away from him quickly.

“No thanks for saving your ass from falling in the dumpster?”  Jace asked as he picked himself up off the ground and dusted himself off.  Ugh.  He smelled like garbage water now.

“Should not have jumped.”  Alec called back, something irritated and hoarse in his voice.  “Let’s go set up the bait and get this over with.”  He held out his hand to Simon.  “Phone.”  He ordered.

Simon took several steps back holding the phone protectively close.  “No.  It’s mine.”  At Alec’s cold glare, he added holding up an empty hand in some strange maneuver Jace did not recognize.  “I’ll delete it I swear.  Scout’s honor.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“We have been waiting here for an hour.  Where is this demon?”  Simon complained.

Alec shot him an irritated glare, eyes narrowing.

“Maybe if someone had not fallen into the trash the Vectis would have smelled the diamonds by now.”  Izzy chimed in, waving a hand at Alec and Jace to ward off the stench.

“We missed.”  Jace defended peeking over the top of the building to check their demon bait.

_Mostly._

His pant leg still felt damp from whatever disgusting garbage water had soaked into it and he knew his leather jacket had not fared much better.

_Really do not want to clean all that stench out.  Demon filth is bad enough._

“I would have made it.”  Alec commented shifting slightly from their perch atop the building overlooking the diamonds strewn out along the ground.

Jace shot him a look of disbelief, mouth twisting and brow furrowing.  “You barely made it with my body slam.”

“Vectis is here.”  Izzy interrupted standing up and her whip unfurling.

“I’ll take the south entrance to the alleyway.  Izzy north.  Simon kill it, Jace back him up.”  Alec ordered before darting away and dropping to the ground.

Simon did fairly well against his first demon considering he no longer had the immunities his vampire self had been imbued with.  Jace thought he would have the demon himself but at the last second flinched forcing Jace to dispatch it for him instead before the large teeth like limbs could impale Simon.

“Gather the diamonds up.  We’re leaving back to the Institute.”  Alec snapped before moving further away to begin gathering up the diamond trail they had placed.

Simon flinched clearly thinking he was the cause of Alec’s ire.

“Hey.  You did well, especially for a first time demon hunt as a shadowhunter.”  Jace glanced over at Alec who had already spun and was walking away body tense before focusing back on Simon.  “You’ve been through a lot in one year.  So don’t beat yourself up over a missed demon kill.”

Jace waited for a snarky comeback from Simon because he rarely tried to be emotionally helpful to the guy, but still he respected Simon for his loyalty and his stubbornness to withstand things Jace did not think he would be able to.

“Thanks, Jace.”  Simon smiled at him slightly before Izzy joined them giving him a quick hug.

“You did awesome.  Especially, considering you have not gone through half the practicals we normally test shadowhunters under.”  Izzy informed Simon before bending to start gathering up the diamonds.  “You know we could go to a spa…”  She suggested.

“We aren’t going anywhere near a spa.”  Alec snapped.

That did it.

“What is wrong with you this time?”  Jace snarled whirling from where he had been gathering the diamonds on the ground towards Alec.

Alec froze expression traversing from surprise to closely guarded and steeled.

It clenched Jace’s chest to see it.

_Didn’t you hear me at all up on that roof?_

“If the three of you want to go to a spa you can take that up with Maryse about extravagant expenses while on mission.  I have a Silent Brother waiting to be seen back to the Silent City.”  Alec said coolly, pouring some of the diamonds back into the pouch held in his hand.

Jace carried his handful of diamonds over and poured them into the pouch, glancing up at Alec briefly only to end up locking their gazes.

_Touch me.  Kiss me.  Do something to claw your presence back into me._

Alec did none of those things, swallowed once and broke the gaze carrying the pouch over to Izzy to pour her handful into the bag.

It was not until they returned to the Institute and Jace had showered, changed, and was scrubbing his leather jacket clean that he realized Alec never once looked at that demon with the old hunger for power.

He glanced over at Alec who for some inexplicable reason had come into Jace’s room, since Jace sat on the only chair in the room working on cleaning the leather jacket, Alec had sat on the bed.  Only sometime in the hour Jace had spent scrubbing the jacket and the silence Alec had lain down and now had his eyes closed.  Jace could not tell if he was asleep or not.

“I thought I was two different people, a before and an after.”  Alec spoke causing Jace to jump because he had been pretty certain he was asleep but now all his focus was on Alec.  “I’m not either of those.  I’m still me, just me across my own lifetime.”  Alec cracked his eyes open as he turned his head to look at Jace.  “Why did you leave?”

The question caught Jace off guard knocking the wind out of him and sending his heart racing.

_I wanted you to follow me.  I could not watch you do it again._

The self-destruction Jace could deal with when he thought he could help, but in the end it had to be Alec’s decision.  And Jace could not give him that choice until he walked away.  Still had no idea if Alec wanted to destroy himself again in a twisted version of what he thought would heal.

_Just tell me you choose life and light._

That he chose their bond which had hummed bitterly for two months between them demanding they return to each other.

“I wanted…”  Jace trailed off.  This had been getting easier, opening up to each other now it was all messed up again.  “I had to give you the choice.”  Jace said instead.

Alec rolled up from the bed smoothly, expression hard.  “My choice was you.  But that means nothing to you does it.”

Jace narrowed his eyes at the clear attack on his feelings.  “I didn’t want to be secondary to some fucked up power source.”  Jace hissed.

“You aren’t.”  Alec said drawing nearer.

_Bullshit._

Jace scoffed and turned back to his leather jacket to begin scrubbing at it again, ignoring the blurriness in his eyes.

“I want to show you something.”  Alec said quietly.

As much as Jace wanted to tell himself to not turn around, he found himself doing so anyway looking expectantly at Alec with a vague frown.

“It has to do with the bond and you have to trust me for it to work.”  Alec explained moving back over to the bed and sitting down.

Trust.

Could he still trust Alec after everything?  The answer came easily and quickly.  Yes.

Jace motioned towards Alec but did not move from his chair.  “Well, show me then.”

Alec shrugged out of his leather jacket and for a heart stopping moment Jace thought he would remove more.  He did not, tossing the jacket on the bed and flexing his hand in some unconscious reflex.

Slowly Jace realized that the veins along Alec’s right arm were lighting up golden then white before vanishing back to normal smooth pale skin.

Jace blinked, slowly moving his gaze up to Alec’s who watched him guardedly.

“Our bond replaced that cavern…I can’t unleash it like the darkness and…I’m relieved it does not respond that way.”  Alec hesitated before grabbing his leather jacket and throwing it back on.  “I just thought you should know.”

Alec moved towards the door but Jace reached out and grabbed his bicep halting his progress.

He stared at Alec’s chest because he could not give in to two months of pain and hope.  Not yet.

Alec must have sensed it.  “Can I stay?”  He whispered not looking at Jace.

Jace jerked his head in some approximation of a nod.

It worked.  Alec lay back down on the bed and Jace returned to cleaning the stains from his leather jacket.

In the silence Jace could feel the stirrings in the bond of that swirling heat hovering, waiting for one of them to move.

Eventually Jace could not use cleaning the leather as an excuse anymore, washed the leather lotion and cleaning solution from his hands and crawled onto the bed next to Alec.

Alec lifted an arm up for him to lay down, but Jace could feel how tense Alec’s body remained.

“Don’t lie to me again.”  Alec said once he had settled.

Jace met his gaze squarely.  “I did not lie to you when I walked away.  You were supposed to follow me long before that.”

_Not leave this canyon that opened up instead._

Alec frowned slightly.  “I did.”

Jace searched those dark eyes for a moment, before turning away and laying down on his own pillow.  The small space between them felt mammoth.

_Liar, you only followed because I walked away._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“I would prefer if it was removed from my lair soon.  It’s getting a little cramped.”

Alec glanced up from his tablet he had been working on tracking the fluctuations of demonic activity along with an email from Lydia concerning the Seelies he had yet to read.  He had gone outside into the courtyard for his lunchbreak even though the air was cold.

“Are you afraid of him?”  Alec asked standing up from the bench and turning off the tablet’s screen.

Magnus clenched his jaw, eyes going hard.  “Hardly.  But you want me to play shrink to a psychopath that’s only loyalty is to you.”

Alec raised his head back slightly.  “I thought you would have enjoyed the challenge in solving something without being rushed.”

“It’s a leech.  I never thought something that evil would have that many questions.  It has read every book in my lair and then started experimenting.  And then proceeded to use my money to buy a piano, a grand piano and had it delivered.”  Magnus waved his hands about as he spoke and with a blue flash formed a drink at the end of the rant.

Alec found a small smile beginning to form.  “So you want to avoid music?  Magnus, I’ve been dealing with a personal problem and have been unable to move forward on that plan.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes.  “Oh cut with the bullshit.  This is still me, Alexander.”  Magnus snapped.

“Then stop the façade of hating him.  I know you Magnus.  You take anyone broken and unmendable and you reach them in a way no one else can because you suffered yourself.”  Alec held Magnus’s gaze, noting the shimmer underneath.  “I know what you risk.”

Magnus raised one eyebrow.  “The entirety of your shadowhunter society hunting me down.”  He pointed out flippantly.  “It’s a target on my back.” He said flatly.

The urge to use blackmail on Magnus rose, Alec dismissed it.  He would not lower himself to that, Magnus deserved better than that.

“Alright.  I will set up the required people to present the argument to the Clave in his defense.  Unless you would rather we just let him vanish.  But you and I both know he will not function long apart from myself or Clary.”  Alec rubbed the back of his neck.

This issue of keeping Jonathan alive weighed on him.  Short of somehow destroying a key demon or explaining that Jonathan closed the rift and not himself to the Clave under the Soul Sword he had no idea how to win this.

_Could also use the destruction of Edom._

It could be skewed as a switch in allegiance and misguided principles that have been changing since becoming a shadowhunter.  And considering how low the population ran at the moment…

_A chance._

Now how to plan it with a loophole to get Jonathan out without risking anyone’s life.

“You are thinking too much.”  Magnus said with a hint of a smile reaching out a hand with blue power already wrapped around his hand.  “Do you really think you can win this?”

Alec held Magnus’s eyes for a moment seeing the flare of gold hidden behind them.  “I must.”

If he lost then he would kill Jonathan himself and burn the body to release his soul to Heaven.

He swallowed back the bile destroying his friend, his creation, brought him.

_It would get easier._

Loss was part of their world.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“I’m leaving for Idris for a few days.”

Jace snapped his gaze up from where he had been maintaining his weapons to look over at Alec standing in the armory’s doorway.

“I’m not your keeper.”  Jace bit out and instantly regretted it, as he watched a flash of pain cross Alec’s face.

It was not Alec’s fault he felt pent up, skin itching to do something that could absolve him of being used as an assassin.  Mostly Alec’s fault that he still felt irritated that he had not come to him yet, which just furthered Jace’s irritation that he had snapped at him in the first place.  He was half tempted to ask Alec to rip his clothes off and bury himself in that heat until he could put himself back together.  It was easier to get up every day and be the solider he was required to be when…

_And that thought needed to stop right there._

Before it formed into a full-blown fantasy.

“I’m your parabati and you became more stressed out on leave, not less.  It has me a little concerned.”  Alec said arms still crossed and unmoving from the doorway.

Jace flipped the sword around his wrist in an easy maneuver, holding his stele in his mouth for a moment as he did the same with the second sword.  Both felt better after the maintenance.  Setting the swords back down and removing the stele from his mouth, he looked back over at Alec.

“Yeah, well, when you get back.  Come find me.”  Jace said, glancing over at Alec before swallowing hard.

Alec’s gaze shuttered over.

If things went wrong during that meeting…

Jace growled to himself and pushed away from the workbench, stalking over to Alec.

Grabbing his wrist and dragging him along the hallways to Alec’s office, because it was closer.

Kicking the door closed behind them Jace threw Alec against that same door.

Alec hit the door, eyes wide in shock.  “Jace?”

“Shut up.”  Jace snapped using one hand to hold Alec there.

Now that he had Alec here, he locked up, faltering in what he wanted to say without just slamming his body against Alec. 

_And if it’s the last time I see you…_

“I can’t let you go to Idris thinking I hate you.”  Jace said forcing himself to hold Alec’s dark gaze.

Alec’s gaze instantly closed off, not before pain lashed through his eyes and the parabati rune on Jace’s side.

“I know you don’t hate me.  If you did our bond would have broken.”  Alec sighed, resting his head back against the door exhaustion creeping back into his form.  “I never should have gone on the Seelie mission, I should have taken a leave before then.”

If Alec was fishing around for Jace to admit he had set up his leave Jace certainly would not tell him.  Maryse had approved it and it was completed now and apparently for the better.

“You asked me once when all the barriers were erected between us and that we needed to start tearing them down.”  Jace said reaching out and hovering his hand over Alec’s jacket and down his arm without physically touching him, the habit ingrained.  “First question, do you regret us?”

“Jace, I could never regret us.”  Alec whispered sounding torn that Jace could even think that.

“Then why…”

Jace could see the anger flare in Alec’s eyes.  “Because you said you loved me and then left me up there.  You left me like you were ashamed of your own feelings towards me.  Because I was tainted, because I was not strong enough, was not good enough.”  Alec seethed, clearly trying to keep himself from shouting, muscles tensing and flexing in his arms.

“That’s what you think.”  Jace reared his head back, eyes going wide in disbelief.  “I am in love with you and I wanted you to decide to be with me.”

“I made that choice years ago when I shackled my soul to yours!”  Alec shouted losing his composure and shoving Jace back.

The shove did not draw anger as Jace expected but instead sparked that simmering heat that hovered in their parabati bond.

“You choose my soul then, just like I chose yours.  You chose my heart long before I even knew the choice was there.  Alec…”  Jace took a few steps back as Alec advanced after him a dark predatory look forming.

Alec’s desk stopped his backwards retreat.

“I gave you my soul, my heart, and my body.”  Alec said coming into Jace’s space.  “And I thought you did the same.  Was that a lie?”

They were not even touching and all Jace could focus on was the heat radiating from Alec, a small sound escaped him that should not have been audible, but he watched Alec’s eyes darken.

That want in Alec’s eyes gave him courage.

“Alec, I want it all back.  I want you.  Heart, body, and soul.”  Jace said surprising himself just how low and gravely it came out.  “But you need to let it go.”

Alec leaned forward and hovered over his mouth still not touching him and Jace tried pressing himself back away from the heated electricity he could feel pouring between them.

“I did.  I showed you what it looks like now.  Second question, will you give me everything?”  Alec murmured against his mouth.

_Always._

“Yes.”  Jace responded just as quietly needing to put his hands on the desk to keep upright because even though they had not touched yet every nerve ending was rigged and wired to explode, heartrate accelerating.

_Fuck, just do it._

By an unspoken command Alec slanted his mouth against his in a slow caress that instantly shifted to a harsh demand after two months of not touching each other.

Jace knew he made an embarrassing sound of need, pulling Alec closer to him rolling his hips forward to crash against Alec, sending sparks up his spine and exploding the parabati rune in heat.

He felt Alec’s hand grip the hem of his shirt drawing it up to expose his skin to the cool air, sliding along the planes of his chest and along one shoulder before hauling him onto the desk, hot mouth never leaving Jace’s.

Jace pushed forward refusing to be laid out on the desk, Alec pushed back just as hard.

“Fuck, Alec.”  Jace panted briefly before Alec consumed his mouth again, making Jace rock his hips against Alec harder following the rhythm of their bodies, sliding his hand around to grip Alec’s nape.

Alec slowed the kiss down giving them air, sliding his tongue against Jace’s once more before diving back in, only to flinch a few moments later when a fire message hit him in the head successfully breaking them apart.

It landed on the floor where Jace could read it.  All it said was:  _Misi terselesaikan. -M_

Alec backed away from Jace enough to bend down and pick up the fire message and throw it in the fireplace to burn up.  “I have to go.  I’m expected in Idris.”  He came back over to Jace leaning his forehead against Jace’s briefly.  “I am not done with you.”  That heated promise curled through Jace leaving him staring at Alec in an intense smolder.

“You make it painful to leave when you look at me like that.”  Alec kissed him again before managing to extract himself enough to leave the room.

Jace was still sitting on the desk calming his body down and sorting his thoughts out when Simon wandered in.

“Uh, no Alec?  He mentioned something about going over candidates from the Shadowhunter Academy to bring into the Institute.”  Simon glanced him over before glancing away and down.  “Um…you know where he has that list?”  He said a bit awkwardly and Jace realized he probably appeared half molested.

Jace had no idea where said list was but he guessed it would be somewhere easy to access, sliding off the desk they carefully shuffled around the desk until they found the pile of folders clearly marked:  SHADOWHUNTER ACADEMY

The first chunk of folders Jace quickly realized was actually a list of candidates for the Academy itself and not for graduation, a bit more digging and they located what they actually needed marked: ACADEMY GRADUATES

Clary was on the top of the list followed by about twenty other shadowhunters.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The news hit before Alec even returned from Idris.

Jonathan had been captured by two warlocks in Peru.

Jonathan had been sentenced and killed.

Supposedly Alec had made a massive deal about being allowed to burn Jonathan’s body as a true Shadowhunter rather than being left to rot.

Based on the rumors he had done just that heedless of what the Clave desired to do with the body.

The part that bothered Jace the most, he felt no grief coming from Alec.  Just a bland silence that felt scarier than any pained grief Jace could conjure up in his mind.

“Izzy, have you seen Alec come back from Idris yet?”  Jace asked coming into the armory where she normally worked.  Part time was the lab or morgue.

Simon had gone out to interview some shadowhunters at the academy and had apparently fallen in love with his job either Lydia or Alec had assigned him, which seemed to be a combination recruiter and helping scared mundanes gifted with the Sight.

Izzy glanced up from where she was pouring liquid metal around an orb into a mold before dropping her focus back to her task.  “I think he comes back this evening.  I heard the news as well.  I doubt he’s going to be very happy when he gets back.”

Jace plopped himself in one of the swiveling chairs and slowly orbited himself around.  “We started to make up.  And yeah, I am worried about him.  There should be grief coming through the bond, I know how close they were and all I feel is silence.  I cannot tell if he is blocking me intentionally or if he is just that numb.”

Izzy set the metal ladle aside and began scraping and shaping the mold she was working on while it was still hot.  “Can you blame him?  Jonathan is sort of like his child.”

Jace stared at her for a moment brow creased, he had never once thought of it that way.

He stayed with Izzy a bit longer until he needed to start instruction of other shadowhunters for the evening.

He lost himself to training himself and others until finally he felt the rune at his side warm informing him Alec was near and inside the Institute.

Alec appearing in the doorway looking utterly defeated and worn out, but with a fire in his eyes that Jace could not place nearly cost Jace the match he was using to instruct one of the other shadowhunters with.

Pointedly focusing on the instruction the rest of that shadowhunter’s training hour, he managed to not get his ass kicked.

Alec had gone to the punching bag during the rest of Jace’s instruction to begin hitting the bag.  As the other shadowhunter left with a thanks to Jace, Jace could finally begin to feel what Alec felt through their shared rune.  Rage.

The silent rage that built upon itself in a crescendo before crashing down into a deadly stillness.

Alec caught the punching bag, halting its movement.

“He’s free.  In Heaven where his soul is not tainted anymore.”  Jace said coming towards Alec and resting his head against his back.

Alec chuckled darkly, throwing his head back to stare up at the ceiling and probably the sky that he could not see.  “I think I might actually hate them.  Nothing I said would sway them, all they wanted was blood.”  Alec turned to face Jace.  “All I wanted to do was give him a life.”  For some inexplicable reason Alec smiled.

It sent a chill through Jace.

“Come on.”  Jace guided Alec back to his room and pushed him down on the bed with an order to strip before tossing sleepwear at him.

Alec shook his head at the action.  “Jace, I’m not numb.”

Jace narrowed his eyes in a look of skepticism.  “Alec, I can feel how numb you are.”

Alec shook his head again.  “I’m pissed at the Clave.  I’m not…”  He ran his hands through his dark hair.  “Why have you been upset since the Seelie Court?”

The question came out of nowhere and Jace found himself inhaling sharply and his guard coming up.

_Guess both of us have something we want to avoid._

Alec sighed from whatever closed off expression Jace had formed.  “Can we not fight?  Please, just tell me.”  Alec said exhausted reaching out to take Jace’s hand and pull him towards him.

“I don’t want to be used.”  Jace whispered, running a thumb along Alec’s wrist.

_Not by anyone._

“Because Valentine and the Seelie Queen used you?  Jace you were forced with your life and torture by Valentine and the Seelie Queen has tricked every single person I know in some way or another.  Don’t blame yourself.”  Alec tugged Jace the rest of the way to him and wrapped his arms around him pressing his face into Jace’s neck.

It was not guilt for killing that black winged boy, but that helpless, useless feeling Jace hated inside himself so much.  The one where no matter what he did he could not meet the requirements to make everything in the world right.

“I don’t blame myself.  I just.  I need to think more and use my heart less.”  Jace said into his shoulder.

Alec gave a huff of laughter at that, making Jace frown.  “Jace, I have been telling myself for the past several months to listen to my heart more than my head.”

Jace shoved Alec back in a silent argument against the idea, he landed on the bed.  “Well, one of us has to be wrong then.”

“Or both of us are wrong and it’s not about one or the other, but both.”  Alec pointed out with a rueful smile.

_How can you smile through that numb grief?_

“You know its ok to grieve for Jonathan, Alec.”  Jace said gently.

Alec held that sad smile, something pained and remorseful shifting in his gaze.  “If only you knew.”

_Yeah, you are so numb to it I cannot even feel it in the bond._

The urge to push Alec down and lose themselves in each other to ease their respective pains swirled through Jace.

“Then tell me.”  Jace said coming over to him and resting a hand on his shoulder.

Alec glanced away.  “I can’t…not yet.”  He glanced back up at Jace meeting his heterochromia gaze with his dark one.  “I will, just not now.”

Alec pushed off the bed and started to strip out of the blazer and dress clothes from his trip to Idris, pulling on the sleepwear Jace had thrown at him earlier.

Jace raked his gaze over the exposed flesh feeling his blood start to heat.

“Stop.”  Jace commanded before Alec pulled the t-shirt over his head.

Alec glanced over at him a spark of that same heat Jace felt hidden in that dark gaze.

Jace stripped his own shirt off, giving Alec his usual charming smolder that he knew would work.  “Take your clothes off.”  Jace ordered.

Alec froze eyes snapping to Jace’s.

Jace felt himself smirk wickedly at the half startled expression.

_I was always the one to go after what I wanted first._

Jace walked over to him sliding a hand down Alec’s chest slowly feeling the muscles tense and twitch under his hand.  “I can sort myself a lot better when I’m with you and two months of not touching you…”

_Two months of dreaming about you._

“Aren’t you going to make me run and catch you first?”  Alec asked with a hint of amusement, mouth turning up slightly.

Jace raised one eyebrow up a smile starting to form.  He took a step back, turned and bolted across the room, Alec right behind him.

Jace had zero intention of leaving the room but the exhilarated playful chase as Alec cornered him against the dresser and wall left Jace laughing, a feeling of lightness forming inside him and the bond.

Alec caged him in with his arms a predatory smirk on his face.  “You made that almost to easy, Jace.”  He said nipping at Jace’s neck, sending a coil of heat through him.

Jace smirked hooking a leg through Alec’s, catching his knee, and dropping them both to the floor before darting away towards the bed where Alec pinned him down before flipping him over and slanting their mouths together in a heated glide.

Jace could feel Alec’s hard length pressed against him short circuiting his ability to think past tearing clothing off until he could lose himself in their bodies and the bond.

Jace rolled them over before kissing his way down Alec’s body taking his time when he reached the waistband of Alec’s pants slowly peeling them off him and laving an open mouthed kiss along each inch of skin he uncovered.

Alec tangled his hands in Jace’s blond hair.  “Jace…”  The heated plea Jace could hear in his name went struck straight through his body.

Jace dropped his mouth over him, watching as Alec threw his head back on a hoarse shout.

Needing to taste this was something that surprised him, but Jace went with what he wanted, they could figure the rest out once he felt their souls come together again.

Alec dragged him back up kissing him roughly before twisting them around.  “I caught you, not giving you that just yet.”  He said dragging the rest of Jace’s clothing off him and pressing one hand against Jace’s chest to keep him from sitting back up.

Jace watched as Alec ran his hand over Jace’s chest down his body sending heated chills sparking through his system, lowering his head towards Jace.

_Oh fuck…_

Heat engulfed Jace, hands twisting the sheets under him as the sensation ran rampant through his body.

Alec held him on that heated precipice until Jace nearly begged him for release, biting his lip to keep himself from doing just that.

Alec’s palm slid from where it had been pressing against Jace’s hips to keep him still traveling to their parabati rune, touching it Jace felt something like lightning rush through the bond.  And then he felt their souls connect fully again, heat flaring through his body, white blotting out his vision, and pleasure coursing through him.

Jace could not tell how much time had passed before he came back to himself, slowly opening his eyes to find Alec lying next to him with a smug look on his face.

He swallowed, his mouth felt dry, rolling over to grab the water from his nightstand he usually kept there and taking a drink before he could speak.  He opened his mouth, but closed it realizing he had nothing.

“That good, huh?”  Alec smugly asked with a grin.

Jace lunged at him instead.  “We can make this a competition.”  He brushed a kiss over Alec’s mouth.  “But I think you cheated on that one.”

One side of Alec’s mouth curved further up.  “Parabati rune activation.”  He slid their mouths together again before drawing back.  “That was a taste of the power of our bond now.”

It was not until much later that Jace won their apparent stamina contest and Alec lay sleeping that Jace wondered where the grief for Jonathan was inside the parabati bond.  He could feel the anger towards the Clave as it was blotted out by their bodies, could feel the relief as they came together again how they always should have been, but could not find the grief.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

“So here are the candidates I figured would fit best with our Institute now.”  Simon said as he handed over fives files.  “Clary is obviously on the list.”

Alec took the files from his outstretched hand.  “Thanks, Simon.”  He flipped through the files.  “Add, Nathan and Leah to the list as well.  I’ll send you the email to the Academy headmaster and you can send the request, just copy me on it.”

Simon ducked his head down.  “You sure you want me to write the head of the shadowhunter academy?”  He asked in disbelief.

Jace elbowed Simon in the side because clearly Alec would not be assigning Simon this added task if he did not trust him to do it right.

Alec folded his hands in front of him, leaning forward slightly.  “Simon, since you became a shadowhunter you have done exceedingly well in recruiting mundanes gifted with the Sight to choose to join Shadowhunter society by drinking from the Mortal Cup.  It is not a talent most people are skilled with, especially since you locate people that do not die when they drink from it.”  Alec pulled out the other two files for Nathan and Leah and pushed them across the mahogany desk to Simon.

Simon blushed from the praise, shifting side to side.

“Jace, these recruits will be here next week.  Find a way to implement them into your training program with other shadowhunters and give me a report on their skills so I can assign them.”  Alec stated before running his hands through his hair.

Jace frowned at the stressed motion.

“You ok?”  He questioned Alec.

“Hmm.  Yeah.”  In a blink his face went back to its usual firm Head of the Institute persona.  “Meeting with Magnus today, that’s all.”

Jace studied Alec’s form, shoulders tense, gaze staring Jace down.

“Tell me whatever it is.”  Jace said crossing his arms in front of him.

Alec leaned back in his chair with a sigh.  “Simon, dismissed.”  He said with a nod.

Once Simon had left Alec rubbed at his right arm, a habit that never left even though Jace now knew he could kill demons easily without soaking their power up like a sponge.

“Hey, I know Magnus was one of the warlocks to bring Jonathan in.”  Jace started.

Alec held up a hand for him to desist, something painful breaking in his eyes.  “He was.”  Alec glanced away.  “But I have to speak with him.  One of the recruits shows an affinity towards herbal medicine and I need Magnus to work with him.”

“Want me to come with?”  Jace asked coming around the mahogany desk.

Alec licked his lips, glancing down towards his tablet.  “No, don’t hate me for it.”  It was said casually but Jace watched as Alec slid the tablet in front of him booting it up.

_You are hiding something…_

Jace knew Alec was no longer interested in the warlock, but what else could Alec be hiding.

“There might be a familiar face in the recruits.”  Alec said.

_Clary._

But Jace knew that already, his stomach twisted at the clear deception.  “Alec…”

“I’ll explain everything by the end of the month.”  Alec met his eyes at last.  “Promise.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Simon practically bounced in place waiting as the portal opened for the ten new shadowhunters to arrive.  Clary being one of them.

The red head was the first one through the portal, stumbling to a halt before taking a few more steps forward to avoid being run over by the incoming others.

Jace saw her glance at him and frown before spotting Simon and letting out a squeal of joy, rushing towards him embracing him in a hug which he returned just as joyously.

Clary jerked back suddenly staring at the runes along Simon’s arms.

“Great.  Angel’s gift to Shadowhunter kind already has a leg up here.”  Muttered one of the new girls, with long black hair and a toned body before she was knocked into by the next three coming through the portal until all ten newbies were present and accounted for.

Jace signed them in while Alec gave them a quick introductory speech and assigned Underhill to set them up in rooms, with an exception for Nathan whom he told to meet him in his office once the rest of the tour had been given.

_Must be our herbal prodigy._

“So, why aren’t you assigning Nathan a room?”  Jace asked casually because while it was not unheard of he could not figure out why Alec would single one recruit out.

“He won’t be living at the Institute.  I’ve already approved where he will be living ahead of time.”  Alec glanced over at Jace with a carefully controlled expression.  “Magnus’s.”

“Magnus?”  Jace parroted back shocked.

Alec smiled and shrugged a shoulder.  “Seems he could not let a wayward soul stumble about in a new Institute.  When I told him Nathan’s past along with my intention to have them work together to continue expounding on the medicine him and…Jonathan created.”

Jace almost stopped walking, staring openly at Alec.

_No, it was just a coincidence._

“Alright, well if the guy ever changes his mind he can always move back here.”  Jace stated blandly instead and gave Alec a quick embrace before jogging off to the training hall so he could test the new recruits and assign them training times.

All the recruits were proficient but nowhere near excellent and needed a lot of work, something Jace pointed out bluntly to all of them including Clary.

Clary treated him stiffly but politely and as the day wore on Jace realized she had expected him to burn up from the curse by now and probably now thought he and Alec were not together since it was not active.  It had been months since she had last seen them.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Simon placed his tray across from Jace as he sat down for dinner at the Institute with a muttered grumble that Jace could not detect.

He raised an eyebrow up at Simon in question.

Simon waved his hand over towards Izzy.  “I swear if another of the new recruits flirts with her one more time.”

“They’ll feel the business end of my whip.”  Chimed Izzy as she sat down next to Simon with her own plate and leaned over and gave him a kiss.

Simon appeared mildly placated by this.

“Can we sit here?”  Clary had approached them and was flanked by one of the other new recruits.

_Sam._

His mind provided the guy’s name from the files and the brief training time.  Blond hair and a stockier build, he was one of the more promising ones in regards to weapons skills.

“Yeah, go for it.”  Simon said.

Jace sent him a glare, but relented when he realized if he fought this stupid argument it would just bring up the initial argument Clary had left on.

Sam sent them all a charming smile and introduced himself before getting lost in conversation with Clary and Simon about life at the Institute verses life at the Academy.

“Mind if I join as well?”  Another strange voice rolled across Jace.

Jace glanced up at the next newbie.

Nathan?

He thought, not a hundred percent sure this time, but yeah the black hair and green eyes.

_Great, we’ll have every newbie attached at the hip before the night is out at this rate._

“You are a parabati, right?”  Nathan asked as soon as he sat down and began eating.

“Yeah.”  Jace said attempting to ease into a civil conversation since Sam seemed more interested in flirting with Clary than actually getting to know anyone else at the table, barring Simon.

“My father was one before he died.  What is it like?  I know I cannot become one, but father never was able to explain it to me.  His bond broke long before I was even around and then he died before he explained it.”  Nathan explained smoothly before digging into his soup like it was the last food on the planet.

Sad stories were common among the Shadowhunters but Jace still felt a kinship towards the guy for losing his father early on as well.  He still had to be careful here though considering.

“It’s a warrior bond.  It allows us to instinctively understand what the other will do in a battle to make the most use of our skills in slaughtering the demons.”  Jace replied sipping at his drink as he felt his side begin to warm letting him know Alec was moving towards them.

Jace scooted over to let Alec sit down to join them without needing to look behind him when he arrived.

Apparently, having the Head of the Institute sit down with you cowed the recruits.  They all shut up, including Clary.

_Aw, shit.  Clary._

“You killed my brother.”  Clary pointed out, spinning her fork through her food without really looking at it but glaring with all her indignant contained wrath.

Alec slowly looked over at her meeting her green eyed gaze.  “The Clave killed your brother.  I burned his body.”  He said it with no emotion, a recitation.  A mantra.

Sam and Nathan exchanged glances across the table, clearly Clary had voiced how she felt about Alec and the Clave quite a bit before they arrived.

_Joy.  Alec has his work cut out for him to gain these people’s loyalty._

“Nathan, come with me.”  Alec pushed his plate across to Izzy who gladly took the uneaten food.

“Yes, Murni.” Nathan said grabbing more food for the road and snatching up his mug of hot chocolate.

“It’s Alec.”  Alec snapped harshly.  “You want this arrangement to continue you better stick with that.”

Nathan sighed with a playful eyeroll but relented.

Jace glanced over at Izzy for an explanation of the guy’s strange word towards Alec.

She shrugged clearly at a loss as well.

_Better not be using some derogatory name for Alec because of any misconstrued reputation the Clave has put out._

Nathan would find the sharp point of Jace’s seraph blade if he discovered it was an insult.

The title stuck with Jace the rest of dinner until he decided to just Google it while waiting for Izzy to finish getting ready for demon hunting rounds.

His phone told him it was Malaysian or Indonesian, probably.  Or some marketing website.  Or someone being aroused based on some mundane strange idea.

Jace growled to himself at that and went back to the translator idea.

He clicked in the Malaysian translator converting a few ways he thought it might be spelled.  Mourny.  Morni.  Morne.  Murny.  Murne.  Murni.

He froze, everything inside him stopped.

Pure.

_Pure one._

Jonathan.

That was why Alec did not feel grief, Jonathan was not dead.  Magnus had brought Jonathan in with another warlock.  Alec had burned the body.  Nathan, if he really was Jonathan was now staying at Magnus’s.

_I’m going to kill him._

“Jace, I’m rea-  Are you ok?”  Izzy called walking up to him in a navy dress with a slit up the side either for sex appeal or easier movement.

The thought that chased the desire to kill his parabati.

_“I’ll explain everything by the end of the month.  Promise.”_

Jace took a breath letting the revelation slide to the back of his mind.  Alec said he would explain, well Jace would just make him explain faster after patrol.

“Yeah.  I think for once everything might end up being alright.”  Jace said.

“So you two finish making up?”  Izzy grinned, eyes sparking with uncontained glee.

Jace shot her a glare warning her to back off.  “Yes.”

“About time.  I thought I would need to forcibly step in if that lasted much longer.”  Izzy commented lightly, spinning on her heel as she tossed him a short range comm for the night since they would be in the sewers.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“You could have told me.”  Jace said as soon as he stepped into Alec’s room after patrol.

Alec turned his head from where he lay on the bed clearly half asleep, but as the words sank in Jace could see him grimace.

“You figured it out?”  Alec asked sitting up hair tousled from where he had apparently been struggling to sleep.

“Jonathan.  Yeah, I thought we were working on trust.”  Jace pointed out folding his arms across his chest and staring down at his parabati still on the bed.

Alec winced.  “Yes.  But we just started talking again a week ago and I had to many pieces in motion the day I left for Idris.  Jace, I could not explain all of that right before I left and when I got back.”  He paused, blowing out a breath of air.  “I was not emotionally ready to reveal all of that.  Pretty selfish of me, right?”  Alec glanced over at Jace meeting his gaze.

_No more selfish for me to not wait the month you requested to explain everything._

Jace sat down on the bed in front of Alec, running a hand through his own blond hair.  “Sorry.  It just threw me when I figured it all out.”

“Sorry for not telling you sooner.”  Alec replied.  “What gave it away?”  He asked tilting his head slightly.

Jace pointed at Alec.  “You.  His nickname for you.  Still can’t call you Alec can he?  Plus you have made some strange comments to me about things as well.”  Jace said.

“Magnus agreed to let him live there and Jonathan is using a stronger glamour than normal to conceal his identity.  I got the idea from Simon actually when he told Izzy about you glamouring yourself to look like him to get a girls number.”  Alec explained leaning back down on the bed.

Jace huffed out a laugh at the memory of Simon’s attempt at flirting.

“Any other secrets you need to tell me about?  Jace asked, it came out easily and with no anger behind it.

“Yeah, I love you.  Now go shower, you smell like demon then come to bed.”  Alec said pulling the covers back over himself.

Once clean, Jace crawled into bed next to a sleeping Alec wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close.

“You are my heart.”  Jace whispered in his ear.

Alec made a small sound to inform Jace he had heard him but was deep enough towards sleep he would not talk.

Jace never thought he would fall for his parabati thinking it taboo and the only way to shackle Alec to him was through a soul bond.

_I was stupid and blind._

He had fallen faster than he ever realized and never even knew it was there until he had given himself to Alec enough to allow them to survive.

Survive through the heavenly fire that burned through Alec’s blood filling the spot the darkness had encased his soul for so long.

And Jace had thrown everything of himself at Alec during those dark months.

_Because all I cared about was bringing you back and coming back to you.  Every time._

And somehow in losing himself to Alec he had found a way to pull himself back from whatever irrational edges Valentine had tried to instill in him about being useful and the effects of love.

Tomorrow he could harass Jonathan, Nathan, now.

Tomorrow he could watch as Izzy fell for Simon a bit more each day.

And forever would he have Alec with him.

Because they were parabati and not even death had separated them.

Jace curled around Alec finally feeling the beginnings of peace he had unknowingly been searching for.  A peace that could stretch longer than a moment.


	9. Dark Stained Soul Ch 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next addition to the psychosis of the shadowhunter world  
> NOTE: To all my readers. First, I am sorry this chapter took so long to get out. This was supposed to be posted a week or two ago. But real life got in the way. Second, I have reread this an embarrassing number of times searching for errors but due to a medical problem that resulted in severed blood loss I am still wary of errors floating around. If they are there I apologize. However, on teh bright side you get an extra long chapter to read. I hope you all enjoy it.

**Dark Stained Soul**

By Evey

Chapter 9

 

_The Unseelie forest twisted from a muddy bog to a cliff and back again making his feet stick and slip._

_His palms hit the ground squelching into the mud before getting stuck in rock before it warped back to a bog and released his hands in a wet pop before the icy fear in his veins could fully take hold._

_Jace jerked his arms out of the ground and stumbled a few steps before jolting to a halt searching for the Seelie guard in the trees that warped into pinnacles of rock and twisted into a sand dune before twisting back into trees and repeating._

_Grey eyes and a bloody mouth asked him “Why”_

_The cackling laughter of Lilith’s demon in his mind sounded around the Unseelie forest._

_I don’t regret it!_

Jace bolted upright breathing hard, sheets catching and sliding from his chest pinned by the other body in bed with him.

Alec rolled over in his sleep stretching a hand on Jace’s leg, unconsciously reaching for him.

Jace jerked from the warm touch still coming out of the dream.  He ran a hand through his blond hair, then down his face.

_Thought I was done with nightmares for a while._

Jace understood nightmares they had been with him in childhood as his father, gradually shifting into more complex forms as he found Alec and Izzy.  Nothing had compared to what Lilith’s Owl had done or that Kelpie.  He shuddered.

_But that is in the past._

He did not need to dwell on it any longer.  Dwelt on that past nightmare long enough to last a lifetime.

_Still have no idea who that boy was…_

Jace forcibly shifted himself to think about this clinically, placing himself into his warrior mentality after a few moments concentration.

New Seelie Queen wanted the boy dead because he posed a threat to her rule.  Old Seelie Queen, a corpse in the ground.  Since the Seelies had not sent out banners of war in the months since that assassination Jace could hazard to guess his original assumption was correct.  Politics.

_Either a direct descendant or a descendant that had equal claim to the Seelie throne._

All facts Jace knew nothing about and doubted many Shadowhunters would either.

And then there remained the Queen’s threat, invitation, to Beltane for either Alec or himself.  Jace was unsure if that invitation could be avoided now that he had killed that boy, demon, for her.

Seelies were said to be part demon maybe that was how she tricked him.  Yet, then the Seelie should have had green blood.

Jace sighed and rolled himself out of bed, tossing the covers back to ensure Alec did not notice the loss of body heat.

Now that he was awake and the nightmare beginning to fade the peace he had found last night began to creep back in calling for him to crawl back into bed.  Strange that peace seeped in rather than the usual necessity to train until his body exhausted itself.

He shook the idea off and pulled on some clothes before heading down towards the Main Ops Center.  Logging in and bringing up the known Seelie/Unseelie database.

Unfortunately, after hours of searching for the black winged boy he had seen, nothing popped up.

“Who are you looking for, Jace?”

Jace spun around in his chair so fast he did not even realize he had Nathan, Jonathan, in a chokehold until he had the other laid out flat on the table behind him gasping for breath.

Rational thought checked in a moment later.  “Oh, you.”  Jace said and released the grip around the black haired man’s throat.

_Same cold green eyes._

“Yes, me.”  Jonathan, Nathan, rubbed at his throat before gesturing at the screen.  “Who are you looking for?”  He asked again.

Jace huffed out a sigh.

_Stupid memories._

Jace noted that a normal, newer recruit would not have just shrugged off that type of violence as easily.  Most of the recruits going through the academy were newly transitioned mundanes from the Mortal Cup.  He eyed the black hair and slightly bulkier build that was supposed to be Jonathan now.

_Well, Jonathan had contacts within the Seelie Court, perhaps he can help._

“Current Seelie Queen had someone important killed when she took the throne.  Saved us, Shadowhunters, a lot of grief, but I want to know what the guy meant to the Seelie world in case we suddenly have Unseelies popping up.”  Jace explained, still eyeing Nathan from the corner of his eye to study his mannerisms.  Being obsessed that Jonathan would turn and murder everyone at a moments notice had given Jace plenty of time to learn his ticks, it was strange to see those same mannerisms reflected in someone that did not appear like Jonathan at all, even if Jace knew it was him under that glamour.

Jonathan sat down in one of the nearby chairs, cracking his neck.  “Seelies have a strange hierarchy that takes into account Seelie and Unseelie fairies, but most children are hidden away until they are truly ready to ascend to their designated rule.  The lesser ones tend to be shown more frequently in a bid to find better standing or increase their rank.”  Jonathan smiled.  “But you knew that already.”

It was true.  Jace had known shadowhunters rarely observed Seelie children unless they were like the Queen and had decided to change their appearance.  Did not help to understand what key player he had been used to kill, only narrowing down that it was someone linked to the Unseelie court.

_Unlikely that he was a full Seelie anyway, his blood was red._

“You know which mix of Seelie would have red blood?”  Jace asked.

A flash of the blood splattering across bedsheets.  He could not tell if it was Clary or the black winged boy.

Jonathan shoved himself out of the chair.  “Mundane, werewolf, or shadowhunter.”  He gestured to someone behind Jace.  “Clary awaits.”

Jace inhaled, letting the flash of memory pass through him and away, exhaled.

It was easier to control his response to it now, he did not even need to clench his fist.

_It’s in the past.  It’s gone._

Just move on.  One day at a time.  He was not going to let the past rule over who he wanted to be now.

_You don’t regret it._

No one seemed to notice his brief struggle with himself and when he turned to search behind him at what the new black haired Jonathan had wandered towards his eyes met the same green he had felt relieved not to look into for months.

Clary broke the gaze with Jace and smiled brightly at Nathan saying something Jace could not hear from where he was sitting.  Nathan replied stepping closer to Clary and obstructing Jace’s view of her before they both turned down towards the cafeteria.

_That is going to take some getting used to._

The slightly more muscular and broad body and in general the realization that Jonathan was not an enemy anymore.  Not a friend, and not an enemy.  Jace could not even call him an acquaintance given everything he understood of the man.

_The things I do for you, Alec._

He spun his stele through his hands shifting through every known hybrid Seelie in the database.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Izzy reread her notes on the phone she had snatched from Jace months ago.  None of the contents had helped them locate Jonathan, but that was not what she had begun studying.  She had been analyzing the strange responses between her brother and Jonathan.  It had started out as a way to understand the psyche of Jonathan but had quickly morphed into a study of both Jonathan and Alec.  She had even traded some of her morgue duties just to sit in the lab longer and work on this problematic phone.

_“Remind me.  What does sanity feel like?”_

_“Living.”_

_“What does sanity feel like?”_

_“Death.”_

_“Blood and darkness.”_

_“Fire and light.”_

The responses varied but the question from Jonathan always remained the same.  Regardless the response, Jonathan never gave any follow up to it, which is what drew Izzy to study it.

Alec had effectively shut her out ever since his return from Edom, even if they still spoke of every day small things, and no matter what Jace said about Alec’s status she could not shake the single conversation Alec and her had in the hotel months ago.

_“I cannot let go of these chains I can feel hovering in my blood waiting for me to drop my guard and drag me back.”_

“I hate secrets.”  Izzy muttered to herself, pushing her dark ponytail back over her shoulder where it had fallen.

The other section she had outlined in her notebook centered on some reoccurring responses from both of them.

_“Life is a struggle.”_

_“Pain means you are alive.”_

_“Control it.”_

At least those were easier to figure out.  Both Alec and Jonathan had gone through their own trials through life recently and the control obviously spoke about the dark power Alec had been able to control.

Izzy sighed.

She truly hoped the pain reference did not indicate her brother was hurting himself intentionally.

She dropped her head on the table in exasperation, she really wanted to punch Jace right now.  And her brother.  Both of them until they talked to her in more than fragments.

“Ugh.”  She huffed.

She scooped up her notebook and the phone and headed to go face the beast.

She shoved her way into the required office and locked the door behind her once she spotted black hair at the mahogany desk.

“Alec, I know your secrets.  Time you tell me more.”  Izzy demanded with as much sisterly authority she could muster.

Alec’s dark gaze had already snapped towards her from the door clicking shut, but now his gaze narrowed and closed off.

Izzy moved across the room, pulled out a chair before the desk out and sat down.  “Mom put you on a two month leave with zero explanation to anyone and brought in a Silent Brother to do something with your head.”  She pointed towards his head.

“Brother Zachariah helped me deal with some things brought to light by the agony rune.”  Alec replied simply, not moving, eyes tracking her across the office.

Izzy crossed her arms and let out a huff, sending her brother a deadpan look.  “That was not the only reason though.  Was it.”

“I gave up everything to even be here right now, Izzy.”  Alec shifted from the computer to fully face Izzy.  “Whatever you are digging for it’s in the past and gone.”

“Is it?”  Izzy questioned.  “I think it is time you start being honest with me.”

Alec clasped his hands in front of him, eyes going tight around the edges.  “What do you want to hear?  That I was insane?  That I cannot tell if I am relieved I avoided being forced into the Silent Brotherhood?  That I think if I had become a Silent Brother you would have had a much larger demon than Lilith running around.”

Not exactly the opening response Izzy had conjured in her mind and she found herself holding her hands in her lap tightly and locking her shoulders to keep herself straight backed.

_I miss you, brother.  Just talk to me._

“How much of you is still a demon?”  She questioned softly instead.

Alec pushed out of his chair circling around his desk and with growing trepidation Izzy realized a part of her was afraid.  It was something in the way he moved that she could not put her finger on.

Alec knelt down in front of her, a trait he usually did when attempting to comfort her or ask her forgiveness.

It left her swallowing back whatever anxiety was building in her heart.

“I have no demonic taint inside me.”  Alec said and dropped his gaze to her hands taking one in his own.  “But that does not mean I cannot stretch out my arm and capture that essence again.  That ability is part of who I am now.”  He looked back up at her eyes.  “You told me to find reasons to avoid that darkness.  I’ve found my reasons.  Jace, you, Max, this Institute.  All of those are reasons to ignore that call.”

“Those reasons won’t matter if you can’t make time to talk to me.”  Izzy said, clasping their hands together.

Alec leaned his head back slightly, eyes flicking away from her for a moment.

Izzy pulled her hand from his grasp, she still had questions.  “What does ‘blood and darkness’ and ‘fire and light’ mean to you?”

Alec froze for a moment before standing up, gaze shuttering and growing cold.

It made the anxiety inside Izzy increase exponentially into something frozen.

“I want my brother back!”  Izzy snapped.  “You never speak to me anymore.”

“I rarely spoke to you before.”  Alec stated flatly.

“Yes, you did.  Just not about your heart.  You talked to me about everything else.  ‘What does sanity feel like’ mean?”  Izzy said rising to meet her brother, surprised when he backed away from her on the last sentence quickly.

She could see as the pieces she was quoting clicked in his head and where she could have discovered them from.  “You want to locate Jonathan then?”  Alec demanded face twisting in anguish.  “Izzy, I can’t.”  Alec pleaded.  “I can’t give you that answer.”

“Does Jace know?”  Izzy argued back.

A hesitation.  “Yes.”  Alec whispered moving towards the fireplace and throwing some more firewood on to combat the winter air seeping in from the stained glass window behind his desk.

_Of course, Jace would know._

It did not stop the hurt from wrapping around her as she stared at her brother.  The gulf he had placed between himself and everyone, but Jace and the now deceased Jonathan.  He had formed that same gulf when Clary had first stumbled into their lives upending everything.  Alec’s default reaction to change was to close up and shield himself.  Well, she was not going to let him close up to her forever.

“I’m your sister, Alec.  I think I have a right to know what goes on inside your head right now.  You died this past spring.  You were infected for Angel knows how long and apparently lived inside Jace and to top it all off you fixed Jonathan with a bunch of magic.”  Izzy ranted coming over and turning Alec to face her choosing to shove her irrational fear of her brother in a dark corner for the moment.  She would analyze it later.

“We used it as a kind of barometer for the darkness and a reminder of who I am.”  Alec said staring at the fire rather than at Izzy.  “It’s just something between me and Jonathan.  It will always be there.  Sort of like _Facilis descensus averno_ is me and Jace’s thing.”  Alec explained turning back to her a glow in his eyes from the flickering flames before him.

Izzy could begin to understand it but some of the responses still left her feeling cold.

“Do you still need this barometer?”  Izzy asked carefully, unsure how much the eight weeks off and whatever the hell had happened between him and Jace during that time affected it.

Alec smiled ruefully.  “Probably.  But I’m on the uphill side of things.”

It was the smile that helped her relax again, that was her brother’s smile.

“Is Jace your things?”  She asked devilishly raising an eyebrow.

Alec shrugged a shoulder and tilted his head back in thought for a moment.  “He’s part of it, but I cannot use him as a cure-all.  Our bond filled the gap the darkness left behind.”

_Finally a real answer._

“So…”  She began her next question.

“I caught Simon sneaking out of your room this morning.”  Alec interjected, the flames still danced in his eyes shielding the emotions held there from her.

Izzy brought her head up in defense of Simon spending the night, irritation rising.  “Simon and I have been together for months, Alec.  My love life has never bothered you before.”  She informed him.

Alec held up one placating hand.  “I was going to say it was nice that you took things slow this time.”

Izzy stared at him stunned, closing her mouth when she realized it had fallen open and crossing her arms in front of her again to stare at the fire.  “I asked Jace if he felt alright with me dating Simon months ago.  You were stuck in the cell.  He said he was cool with it, although I think I scared him asking if either of you were ok with my newest boyfriend.”  She studied Alec for any frown forming, there was none.  “Simon is different.  I cannot say how, just that he is.”  Izzy explained quietly.

“Good, I agree with Jace.”  He glanced over at her.  “Now get out of my office.  Maryse has a meeting with me and Jace today. And try and get to know the new recruits.”  Alec said wandering back towards his desk.

The sudden change in topic left her a little off kilter.

“I don’t think I trust Clary anymore after she threatened you and Jace.”  Izzy replied sadly, turning to track him across the office.  “I know she has formed some new friendships and I see the way she looks at that new blond, Sam.”  She studied her brother carefully on her next phrase.  “Same way she still looks at Jace.”

Alec frowned glancing back up at her from his desk.  “Jace will not go frolicking off with her again.”  He said with conviction.

_Good to know he has confidence in the relationship._

“So are you two dating now?”  Izzy asked inspecting her nails but studying Alec from under her eyelashes.

Alec reopened the file on his computer screen.  “We are parabati.”  He stated without elaboration.

Izzy rolled her eyes at her brother’s explanation.  “Right.  You and I are going on patrol tonight together and you don’t get a choice in the matter.”  Izzy commanded.

Alec glanced over at her.  “Tomorrow.”

“Fine.  But after patrol Simon and I want you to join us in the courtyard he has some new model drone toys he wants to test out.  I think you might like them too.”  She haggled.

It was a start.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace spun his stele through his fingers waiting for Alec to show up for the meeting with Maryse.  He was not late, yet.  But it was a surprise that Jace had arrived first considering Alec’s office was two doors down.

He glanced over at Maryse who kept twisting a strand of brown hair between two fingers as she went over a massive binder filled with some new laws.

Jace had already tried reading it upside down before giving up due to the tedious wording of the law’s language.  Something about “current method for appointing Heads of the Institute” boring legal jargon followed and Jace gave up trying to read upside down again.

Alec came in a moment later.  “Sorry, Izzy held me up for a moment.”  Maryse made a motion for Alec to lock the door behind him, which he did.  Alec sat down beside Jace looking at his mom.  “What did you need us both for?”  He asked.

_A mission._

“First, know that I love you both.  I raised you both.”  Maryse started, finally dropping that lock of hair from her grasp to clasp her hands before her face going kindly stern.

Jace stopped spinning the stele in his hands and a spiral of wariness and unease formed in his gut at the strange opening  He felt Alec stiffen beside him in preparation for whatever bomb was about to drop.

“I know about you both.  Isabelle did not cover her hacking tracks as well as she should have and she’s lucky I discovered it considering my Circle training to cover up other people’s tracks.”  Maryse said calmly, glancing between the two of them.

Jace felt his stomach drop and knew his eyes had gone wide in disbelief.

_Izzy deleted everything, she told me._

Alec tilted his head to the side, brow furrowing.  “Explain.  Your claim does not make sense.”  Alec stated.

Maryse’s faint smile that had formed morphed into a frown at that response.  “Alec, I told Jace this already.  I do not want secrets in this family anymore.”  She gestured to the two of them.  “I don’t expect an apology or even an explanation.  Whatever changed between you both was also what has saved you both more than once now.  I will admit at first I feared I needed to bring in a Silent Brother to remove the parabati bond but neither of you ever showed signs of the curse.  So I waited.”

“Waited?”  Jace asked slowly because nothing else in his mind was working, just a blaring silence screaming a warning.

Alec shifted and Jace shot a hand out to still him, he did not feel angry through the bond just a steadily growing panic matching Jace’s own.

Maryse had practically stated to him that she understood Jace would be afraid of the Clave.  She had threatened off duty time after his solo mission landed him in the infirmary rather than a shrink at first.  And then she had given them both the eight weeks off, with barely a question.

_How did I miss this?_

“Yes, waited to see if the children I raised would be targeted or killed simply for an emotion.”  Maryse stated.  “I understand how one emotion, one choice, can guide you into areas of your life you never thought you would venture.”

“Mom?”  Alec asked guardedly, eyes warily observing her.  “What do you plan to do with this?”

Maryse straightened her back, holding her son’s gaze.  “You stood by me when I lost my runes, even helped me get back on my feet and protected.”  She reached out towards Alec but the desk kept her from being able to grasp his hand.  “I refused to let the Clave throw you into a second hellish realm and I will not let them break you both apart.  I am your mother.”  She explained somehow both strict and kind.

“A mother that always pushed the law and claimed to abide the rules.”  Alec clarified, mouth thinning.

Maryse had the decency to glance away at the reminder, hands tightening around themselves.

“So you are not turning us in?”  Jace asked shifting in his chair to lean forward, partly to bolt if needed.

Maryse gave them both a flat look, but then her expression shifted towards a knowing confirmation.  “No, I am not turning you in.  Isabelle deleted whatever surveillance would have damaged you, I just covered up whatever you did better.  It did not take much after that to begin to piece it together, this conversation was to confirm it and because I want to know how you are controlling it.”

Jace glanced immediately to Alec’s arm before meeting his brown eyes that were narrowed in wariness and caution.  Alec shook his head sharply, hand going to that same arm.

“I see.  Both your deaths then and something to do with the stain that had been on Alec’s arm.”  Maryse stated simply studying their reactions.

Jace cringed realizing they just gave everything away with one glance.

Maryse leaned back in her chair and gestured at them.  “Explain how you control the bond’s power.”  She ordered stiffly.

Silence for a beat.

“It’s Magnus’s soul pendant.”  Jace said.

“It replaced what Edom left in my arm.”  Alec said.

Maryse studied them both a moment before pulling a mug sitting on the desk to her and drinking.  “Is it both?” She asked once she set the mug back down.

Jace shrugged, attempting nonchalance even as the desire to bolt grew larger.  A hovering goliath about to implode his world with a single statement from Maryse.

_She raised me._

The fear of the law continued to grow, a threat that would tear them apart.

“We don’t actually know.”  Alec said guardedly, body still tense, hand clenching into a fist.  “Not for certain.”

Maryse eyed them both, before a sad warm look crossed her face.  “You do not need to be afraid of me.  I am not casting you out.  But I am curious how you managed to keep this under control for the better part of a year now.”

Jace glanced into Maryse’s eyes a moment but could not hold it and looked away again.

She must have deduced Jace had used the parabati bond to bring Alec back right before the Silent Brotherhood took Alec from them permanently.  More than likely immediately after that day because she had been suspicious of how Alec had been cured and had been questioning the Silent Brother’s thoughts on Jace’s parabati rune long before that.

_And she never even hinted that she suspected something._

Guess being a past undercover agent and Valentine’s right hand meant something.  And she had taken an abandoned and orphaned child in, brought Jace into her family, treated him better than she treated Alec most times, taught him what love was supposed to mean even if he did not understand until years later.

_She loved me before I even understood what love from a family meant._

“Alec.  Show her your arm.”  Jace ordered staring at Maryse.

Alec managed to tense further from the demand, planting both feet on the floor.

“Or we do it the hard way.”  Jace warned turning his head to look at Alec.

_And I plunge angelic energy through this bond._

It had worked to get Alec to stand still once before.  Curiosity to discover how much willpower that demand would require further elated Jace with the knowledge that the struggle interlocked their souls closer within that request.

_And now I’m off-track._

Alec sent Jace a look that clearly stated he had zero desire to do this but stood up and shrugged his jacket off with another warning glare at Jace, brown and heterochromia clashing briefly clearly in disagreement about this plan.  Closing his eyes and tilting his head back slightly in concentration.

Jace could begin to make out the veins in Alec’s arm turning golden and then a brilliant white before he cut whatever thought process he used to activate it and he appeared normal again.

“Happy?”  Alec asked a slight downturn on his lips still present and a reddish tinge to his face now.

Jace smiled back.  “Perfect.”  He could feel the bond humming with the repercussion of the activation, a steady flow of excess energy flowing between them that took Jace a moment to realize was actually more of Alec’s soul and reminded him of sex.

_Oh.  That’s why._

Jace smirked at Alec.

Alec reached out to touch the back of Jace’s neck, kneeling down in front of him, as soon as they came in skin to skin contact the power flare evened out completely within seconds.

“That was interesting…”  Maryse said slowly, standing up and rounding the mahogany desk to reach them both.  “Does it do anything?”

“Not that I have found.”  Alec said dropping his hand from Jace’s neck and standing up to face his mother.

With a start Jace realized no one but Jonathan and himself knew Alec could unleash dark power outside the single incident when Alec dismantled the red chrysalis.

“Does it cause any issues with day to day missions?”  Maryse questioned, glancing down at Jace before back up at Alec.

Alec shifted to move his arms behind his back in his typical parade rest stance.  “None.” He said with a slight shake of his head.

“Alright.  Who else knows?”  Maryse asked gaze bouncing from Alec’s arm to Jace and Alec’s faces.

“Izzy, Simon, Nathan.”  Alec replied.

A moment later Jace added.  “Magnus.”

Alec glanced sharply down at him, eyes flaring in surprise.

Maryse observed them for a moment.  “Clary does not know?”  She asked surprised.  “And how does a brand new recruit discover this within days?”  Maryse demanded shifting back over to her desk to pull up Nathan and Clary’s profiles.

_Better think up a lie quick._

“Clary and I have not exactly been on the best terms since we broke up.”  Jace explained, leaning back in his chair and tugging Alec towards his original spot, unable to fully look Maryse in the eye when discussing his love life.  This was beyond awkward.  “It never came up.”

Alec moved back towards his chair but did not sit.  “Nathan has not memorized the layout of this Institute yet.  He became lost trying to find one of the newer recruit’s rooms, barged in and caught me kissing Jace.”  Alec lied, staring Maryse down.  “He already understands it meant nothing.”

Jace stared at the floor willing his face blank.

“See that it does not happen again.  Dismissed.”  Maryse ordered.

“Why are you doing this for us?”  Alec asked brow creasing in stubborn refusal to acknowledge what Maryse told them.

Maryse hardened her voice.  “I already said I do not want apologies from either of you and I do not want secrets either.  If either of you have taught me anything in the past year it is that traditions and laws we thought were permanent are not black and white.  Not even our understanding of the Downworlders is correct, just look at Lucian.  He was a Shadowhunter, then a werewolf, and now a shadowhunter again.  Simon is another example.”

“People change.”  Jace lifted his head back up to look at Maryse again.  “Powers change too.”

“What did you do with the blood sample Jessica took?”  Alec asked something hard in his voice now.

Maryse gestured towards the fireplace.  “I could not trust anyone with it.”  She looked at Alec as he took a step back away from her and Jace, Maryse followed him and gripped his shoulders.  “Alec, you are a miracle.  No matter what strange power you and Jace now hold you are both alive.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace glanced over the room of eleven newer shadowhunters.  Eleven because he had included Simon in their training, not being a vampire anymore still put him at risk.

Thankfully, all the trainees were focused on each other rather than Jace as he patrolled through them, studying each of their forms and smacking some in a limb with his staff to correct a stance with a sharp word.

He had been alright with Izzy and Simon knowing.  Even Jonathan knowing.  But Maryse knowing just put him on edge, even if she claimed to not put them before the Clave.

_And she did not know for certain until we blundered through that meeting._

Jace lashed out at Nathan as he passed by him and Clary, a jolt went up his arm as the staff connected with Nathan’s leg knocking him to the floor.

Nathan, Jonathan, grinned up at him from the floor, cold green eyes laughing.  “What did I do wrong?”  He asked with a hint of a laugh.

“Your stance was wrong, otherwise I would not have been able to knock you down.  Fix it.”  Jace replied, glancing over at Clary.  He had intentionally separated her from Sam, all they did was blatantly flirt with each other and learned nothing.

Clary was watching him with her usual fiery temper but he could see a mild hurt and longing still hovering in her eyes.

“Clary, you need to use your runes less often.  Learn to rely on your body and your training first before relying on the boost your runes give you.”  Jace instructed, ignoring the small twist to her mouth as she flung her shoulders back, green eyes flashing in resolve.

“Are you ever going to forgive me?”  Clary snapped, leaving her spot facing Nathan to come towards him.

Jace intentionally glanced around the room with the other trainees first before returning his gaze to Clary and her spitfire green eyes.  “Depends.  Don’t bring it up again.”

A tensing of all the trainees formed like a wave across the room, barring Nathan who seemed to relax sending wide smile towards the far side of the room.

Jace glanced over towards the door as he felt the parabati rune warm.  Alec, Maryse and Lydia all stood at the threshold studying the trainees.  Clearly there to decide where to assign them based on Jace’s recommendations and their own observations over the past couple weeks.

“Get back to training.  Perhaps Alec might forgive you enough to put you on something other than cafeteria or cleaning duty.”  Jace ordered Clary striding across the room towards the three in charge of the Institute.  The parabati rune at his side heated as he drew closer to the three.  He ignored the parade rest stance he should have done and instead slid into the space by Alec’s side.

“Lydia will be leaving the Institute to begin heading one that Jonathan wiped off the map.”  Maryse informed him with a small frown, but did not comment on Jace’s refusal to stand at attention until dismissed.

Jace glanced over at Lydia, he had become used to her presence handling the Downworlders, but obviously that time was up now that Maryse deemed Alec mentally stable enough to continue to gain the reins back.  “You thinking of taking any of them with you?”  He gestured towards the trainees as he asked Lydia.

She mentioned two of the recruits that tended to follow orders better than most.  “Alec, already stated I could not have Sam, Nathan, or Simon.”  Lydia shrugged one shoulder up.  “And you can keep Clary.  For a starting Institute I do not need the baggage.”

Jace huffed out a laugh at that, watching as Alec circled the room with Maryse now as they discussed the rest of the trainees.

“Please tell me Simon is kicking their asses.”  Izzy chimed in as she came to stand beside Jace and Lydia, giving Simon a small air blown kiss across the room.

Simon nearly received a hit to the face when he noticed but managed to recover without being hit.  Izzy’s grin grew wider at the fact he was able to deflect the blow after having been distracted.

“Hopeless.”  Lydia muttered.

“Love-sick fools.”  Jace agreed.

Izzy snorted back a laugh.  “So how is blond handsome muscles doing?”

Jace glanced over at Izzy with a confused expression.  “There are three males out there with blond hair.”  He pointed out.

“Sam.”  Lydia said.  “The one Clary appears smitten with.  Good luck with that.”

Jace shrugged.  “He’s probably one of the better fighters.  Simon could still kick his ass.  Nathan could as well if he decided to stop playing around.”

It still felt strange to call the black haired man Nathan rather than Jonathan when every time he went to say the name he wanted to spit out Jonathan.  Jace made a mental note to make a nickname for him.

Demon.  Asshole.  Irritant.  None of those would actually work besides make Jace feel better.

Simon had said something about a nickname for Simon prior to that horrible rift opening mission.

Jace sighed, rolling his eyes as the nickname returned to him.  Nope not using that one.

Alec and Maryse had circled the entire room and arrived back to stand with their small group.  “I’ll give them their final assignments along with who to report to from here on out.”  Alec informed them, hands clasped behind his back.

“What?  Don’t want to show them what their illustrious leader is capable of?”  Jace taunted with a small smirk.

Alec eyed him.  “No.  That’s your job.”

“Giving me permission to beat the masses up?”  Jace asked cockily as Maryse and Lydia headed back out having seen what they needed.  Izzy hopped up on one of the benches usually used as an obstacle.

“Alec, give him permission.  I want to see the grunts faces when the see what we can actually do in the field.”  She gestured towards the new shadowhunters.  “Without killing anyone on accident in a field run.”

Alec quirked one side of his mouth up, Jace was already moving to grab two swords.  “Fine.  Use the axes though.  Give yourself some challenge.”  Alec called. 

Jace sent a grin back towards Alec feeling the parabati rune begin to heat as Alec sent some extra boost of power towards him.   “Alright.  Three or four of you against me at once.”  Jace ordered the trainees as he strode back towards them giving them a moment to decide who would decide to best him.

Sam, Clary, and another recruit, the black haired girl that tended to have an attitude, all stepped forward.

Jace shoved Clary down with a hard strike to the chest, took two steps ramming the third recruit with his shoulder and backhanded Sam several feet through the air before he could even raise his blade up properly.  Jace could see the incensed anger growing on the three now that he had them all laid flat without even using a weapon.

Sam charged first with his sword upraised leaving himself wide open to be grappled and thrown over his own head, feet flailing through the air.  As Sam was thrown Jace kicked back at Clary sending her flying back again.  The third recruit tried slashing at Jace and received the shaft of the axe in Jace’s hand to her eyes with enough force to knock her to the ground.

Jace spun and punched Clary in the face dropping her back to the ground again, before twisting around and grabbing the long black hair from the third attacker using it to pitch her backwards and off-balance before bringing the axe across her neck using the flat side but the point was clearly made.

It had taken less than ten seconds.  Jace had not even needed to activate a single rune.

Jace spun the two axes he had barely used around.  “And that is why you train to not require the assistance of the runes.  The runes are there to support you, not save you.”  Jace told the now stunned group.  Clary appeared irritated that she had not landed a single blow on him.  He glanced over at Alec who had one corner of his lips turned up and his arms crossed watching him.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Nathan!”

Jonathan doubted he would ever truly get used to that name, but then again he taught himself to accept Sebastian as a name to respond to as well.  This was just another layer to survival.

He glanced over at the decoration he had made on the side of the wall with the demons blood.  Splattered across in a black pattern that truly required much more ichor to make it anything worth appreciating.

“Are you insane!?”  Clary shouted at him.

_Obviously._

Jonathan stood up from the single demon’s body he had destroyed by running off ahead of them to decapitate the beast as it tore apart a group of vampires.  There might have been a few vampires that intentionally moved into the way of his sword, puffing themselves to dust.

He grinned up at Clary and Sam.  Clary appeared pale with fear and concern.  Sam looked like he might lose his lunch any second, his blond hair neatly combed and unruffled since Jonathan had not given either a chance to catch up.

“They are dead, correct?”  Jonathan called up to where they both perched at the top of the building.  “Alec ordered us to go out and track the demon hunting vampires and destroy it.”  He gestured to the black heap oozing ichor.  “Mission accomplished.  Maybe have Sam perform the sunlight rune on it.”

_Pure One._

He said the name in his head.

Clary landed on the ground next to him.  Sam chose to take the fire escape and was beginning to clamber down towards them.  “He also said to let me lead and to pull back if there were more than I thought we could handle.”  Clary pointed out with a huff.

“Thought you would be the last person to want to listen to authority.”  Jonathan drawled wandering away towards the last remaining vampire that cowered in the far corner.

It had been a long couple months not killing anything.  It was not his fault the vampires did not move quickly enough and with all those dark clothes blending in with the demon ichor, well he could not feasibly notice there was a difference between possessed mundane demon creature and vampire until they were cleaved in two.

Jonathan grinned as that last vampire cowered back.

“Dude, you creep me the fuck out.”  Sam muttered once he reached them and began the task of applying the sunlight rune to the corpses as Clary directed him.

“I’m starting to think being a shadowhunter causes everyone to go a little crazy.”  Muttered Clary as she also applied the sunlight rune to speed things up.

The last vampire died to his sword when it bolted away.  He could pretend it lunged at him.

Jonathan started humming a melody he recalled Lilith singing to him when he first arrived in Edom as they wandered down the street.

_“He’ll chop and slice you.  Cut and dice you.”_

It had been a song about shadowhunters and to avoid them at all costs.

“That song sounds familiar.”  Clary mentioned glancing over at Jonathan.

Jonathan shrugged.  “I doubt you have heard it.  Most mundanes tend to gather similar songs across the centuries perhaps there are resemblances between this one and another.”

The blond, Sam, stuck to Clary’s other side apparently unnerved enough to refuse to walk beside Jonathan.

_Nathan._

“I don’t suppose you want to go out for food sometime.  Get to know each other a bit better.”  Jonathan asked Clary sending her a small hopeful smile.

A date was not exactly what he wanted but considering Clary would not allow him close in any of his past forms, perhaps this time she might unknowingly become his friend.

Clary glanced towards Sam and brushed some of her red hair back behind her ear.  “Maybe just as friends.  Yeah, we could get some food.”

Sam scoffed.  “Are you serious?  The guy is insane.  I’m surprised the head of the Institute does not have him written off and put in a mental ward by the end of the month.”  Sam informed Clary, and eyed Jonathan with distrust.  “You showed up at the Academy and managed to pass a bunch of tests the rest of us had been studying for weeks.”

Jonathan smiled placatingly at the blond.  “Told you, tutors.  And Alec won’t throw me away.”  He jutted a finger behind them towards the building and alleyway they had cleared.  “To useful.”

Alec was in the Main Ops Center when they returned to report how the mission went.

“Sorry for the delay.”  Jonathan informed Alec as they approached.

“He’s insane!”  Sam snapped and pointed at Jonathan.

“Mission complete.”  Clary clarified, folding her arms in front of her and shaking her red hair back behind her.

Alec turned towards Clary, ignoring the other two.  “Any collateral damage?”  He questioned, expression stone.

Clary paused, biting her lip and averting her eyes, instantly wanting to avoid the fact that her first mission back in the New York Institute resulted in the deaths of several vampires.  “Nathan caught some vampires with his blade when taking out the demons attacking them.”

Alec’s eyes shot towards Jonathan, mouth forming into a hard line.  Jonathan could not help the wicked grin that spread across his face at Alec’s expression.  “Do you know which coven they came from?  Any names?  Appearances?”  Alec questioned them flatly.

“I could not differentiate between the demons and the black clothed vampires.  I should have separated them or used a night vision rune before going in.”  Jonathan said the excuse easily however his grin dropped off his face when Alec’s gaze hardened on him.

His creator was Nephilim, he made Jonathan Nephilim.  Angelic.  Pure.

“Yes....”  _Pure One._ “I will try harder not to slaughter the half demonic beasts.”  Jonathan drawled, deciding to glance over Alec’s body just because Clary and Sam were right there observing everything.  Also because he had not had a chance to really look over his friend, savior, and creator and was curious how he had been faring since apparently doing something with a hellhound.

Alec appeared like he might have lost weight since he last saw him, black hair cropped shorter than before, the eyes.   Well, Jonathan had seen them brown, black, and red.  He supposed he really could not judge anything about Alec based on eye color.  Others might think so.  Jonathan knew better.

Alec’s gaze shifted into something impassive and blank however at the action.

_And you are anything but pure._

Jonathan sighed, smirking.  “Yes, Alec.”  He would come talk to him later.   He changed his gaze to glance towards Clary.  “Shall we go write up that report and go for that dinner?”  He questioned towards Clary extending an arm for her to take chivalrously.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Checkmate.”

Jace told Alec as he moved his knight across the board effectively blocking Alec’s king in on the board.  They had played two other games already, both Alec had won.

“You were not going easy on me, right?”  Jace questioned with a small upturn of his lips, eyes happily watching Alec across the table from him.

Alec smiled softly at him.  “I did not go easy.  I’m not sure if it was the randomness or just how your brain works, but you won fairly.”

“You could just fold and tell me I’m just that good.”  Jace tossed back leaning in his chair, rocking it slightly off balance and back forward just for the feeling of suspended gravity and balance.

Alec began to reset the board.  “And further inflate your ego?  No thanks.”  He spun one of the pawns between his fingers, hesitating over something.  “Jace, the last few months you have been logging in and searching the Seelie database for hours for something.”

Jace darted his heterochromia eyes up to Alec.  “You stalking me now?”  Jace bit out before he could think.

Alec drew back as if struck, the pawn clattered against the board.  “No, it was just something I noticed and was curious about.  It started right after the Seelie mission.”

_The black winged boy with a bloody mouth._

Jace shoved up from his chair.  “I don’t regret it.”  He snapped at Alec.  “I survived, I came back, same as you.  You and that hellhound.”  He snarled.

Alec’s brows creased, face going blank and shielding whatever emotions he felt from Jace and his sudden rising anger from his vision.  “Jace…”  Alec called his name in warning and a plea.

Jace took a breath, trying to rein in the anger and hurt he had felt for two months.  An anger they had both been skating around the issues of.

Jace spun his stele through his fingers.  “I just…I’m a little off since that mission because I did everything to keep our world safe from the Seelie war.  I killed that black winged boy.  And you, you just went for a hellhound rather than deal with the diplomacy of the Seelie Court.  Where were you then!?  I needed you to stay by my side and you ran away!”  Jace did not know when he started shouting only that he now was and that months of pent up aggression, frustration, and anger now had an outlet.

“I did not run away!  I fought those demons same as you.”  Alec snapped.

Jace stood and threw the chess board across the room where it crashed to the floor, pieces strewn everywhere.  ”You lied to me!  You did not tell me about the hellhound immediately.  You did not tell me about Jonathan.”

“You walked away from me before I could!  Some of us make mistakes too!”  Alec cut across Jace’s rant, rising to meet him.  “I told you about the hellhound the first time we were alone together for me to even have a chance to tell you about it.  And you threw me away for that choice.”

“A choice that I regretted every moment of every day.”  Jace choked up needing to drop his eyes to the ground unable to look at Alec’s face, his eyes.  “But I could not keep being used by you.”

“Why do you think I never left the Institute?  I could not stand the thought of you pushing me further away than you already had.”  Alec said quietly.

_You did not even argue that you did not use me…_

Jace stared down at the floor, pressing his lips together refusing to break right now.  “I cannot be used.”

Alec moved over towards Jace loosely enclosing him in a hug.

Jace did not move.  “I want to know why she sent me to kill that boy in the Unseelie realms.”

“You have killed vampires, werewolves, and Seelies before.  What makes this one different?”  Alec questioned softly.  Jace could feel his breath against his hair.

“Because he trusted me.  When I killed him.  He trusted me.”  Jace gave a half unhinged laugh.  “He was supposed to kill someone I knew, a Shadowhunter.  And he trusted me, even though he did not know me and I killed him.  It doesn’t even make sense in my head.”  He felt as Alec finally tightened his hold around him, pressing him against his body.

“Jace you know this battle is all in your mind.”  Alec said into his hair still holding him.

Jace shook his head against Alec’s neck.  “I don’t regret it.”

“The battle you are having now is between your head and your heart.  Your head understands you survived, that the mission was a success, there is no war right now because of that single decision.  But you cannot blame yourself for surviving when another does not.  You know what will happen the moment you go down that path on a mission.”  Alec told him drawing back to look him in the face, brown eyes hard.

Jace blinked.  Those eyes were harder than he had ever seen them with something that matched his own guilt hidden behind that hardness.  “Guess eight weeks wasn’t enough, huh.”

Alec scoffed.  “You had to acknowledge it first.”

“What did you have to acknowledge?”  Jace asked.  The moment the words left his mouth he regretted them.  “Nevermind, you told me before.”

_The vampires, mundanes, and the two shadowhunters._

“We can ask Meliorn tomorrow if he can inform us about the relevance of the black winged boy.”  Alec said rubbing a hand against Jace’s back in a soothing motion.

_Rap. Rap. Pause.  Rap. Rap._

The knock came from the door.

Alec clutched Jace to him tighter for a moment.  “You ok for Jonathan to come in for a second?”  Alec asked Jace releasing him to begin to pick up the chess pieces.

_Not really._

Curiosity won out though.

“Yeah.”  Jace helped him clean up the pieces before Alec pulled open the door allowing the black haired, green eyed man inside.

Jonathan eyed Jace.  “You are irrit-“ His comment was cut off when Alec brought one finger up under Jonathan’s chin closing his mouth with a snap.

“He knows who you are, Jonathan.”  Alec said dropping his hand away.

Jonathan growled at Jace and turn to search Alec over.  “You look decidedly less menacing, pure one.”

“You are drawing attention to yourself, Jonathan.”  Alec replied.  “It’s why I called you here.  You cannot just wipe out the vampires near you just because they are in reach of the demons.”  He ran a hand through his dark hair tugging slightly.  “You recall what I told you about control?”

Jace continued to set the chess set back up rather than leave the pieces haphazardly across the table.

“Yes, I decided I hated the idea.”  Jonathan threw himself on Alec’s bed kicking his feet up easily and smirked at Jace which served to just further Jace’s irritation that Jonathan felt he had a right to even be there on Alec’s bed.  “To much to remember and you stuck me in a high school for months where I could kill nothing.  If you don’t want me killing the poor idiots than give me missions like before.”

Jace despised this guy, no matter how much he realized Alec needed Jonathan as a friend now and respected that.  Could even appreciate working with Jonathan.  It still made it painful to interact with him outside of mission parameters.

“Alec risked a lot for you to even be here right now.  Respect that.”  Jace snapped from his chair by the chess set.

Jonathan grinned over at Jace.   “Still the feisty Herondale swagger and fire.”

“You were out of line, Jonathan.  You are in the gardens teaching all day tomorrow as punishment.  Don’t mess it up.”  Alec said pulling out one of the chairs by the chess set and sitting back down.

Jonathan swung his legs over the bed and prowled over to Alec.  “Promise me I can kill something in the evening then.  Otherwise…”  He shrugged, forming a devious smile.  “Who knows.”

Alec’s dark gaze zeroed in on Jonathan.  “You are a shadowhunter now.  Remember that.”

Jace shifted uncomfortably, he could not figure out what tension he felt emitting from these two right now and it had his hackles rising.  Deluded reverence, twisted animosity, or sparking sexual tension forming.

Jace reached out a hand but before he could pull Jonathan back the other man straightened away from Alec.

“You have my loyalty, pure one.”  Jonathan wandered back towards the door, pausing at the door with one hand on the door handle.  “Remind me.”

“You are good.  Life is a struggle.”  Alec swallowed sending a firm look towards Jace to stay put.  Alec stood up pulling a knife out of its sheath still strapped to his leg, walking over to Jonathan touching his hair and his chest over Jonathan’s heart before pressing the blade against his arm and drawing it down slowly without breaking the skin, whispering something.

For a moment they stood that way before Alec lowered the blade and Jonathan headed out of the room without another comment.  Alec slide the knife back into its sheath.

“What was that?”  Jace demanded coming towards Alec.

Alec sighed, pulling his lower lip between his teeth for a moment.  “He’s trying to figure out how relationships work, friendships mostly, any connection that does not involve a one night stand or killing the person.”

Jace gaped and tightened his hands into fists.  “And you are this person?”  Jace challenged.

Alec held his gaze, head tilting to the side.  “No.”  Alec gestured back towards the door.  “That was not…we were both unstable crawling out of Edom.  It’s a grounding thing.”

_Like the angelic rune and the burn of the stele are for you._

Considering the viciousness the two displayed towards each other as reminders Jace guessed he should not be surprised a knife was involved.

“Can’t you find something…safer?”  Jace asked, pointedly moving a pawn forward to restart another game.  He did not want to sleep yet.

“Carving the angelic rune into my skin, some milder forms of pain work as well.  What do you use?”  Alec moved his knight forward, both still standing.

“Missions, a punching bag, exercise, the piano, I am not really sure.”  Jace said, he wandered over to the bed flopping down and kicking his shoes off.  “Try it on me.”

“What?” Alec said.

Jace glanced over at Alec surprised when he could hold his gaze.  “I get these waves of panic sometimes.  I want to see if I can intentionally call up a memory and if you can help ground me.”  Jace explained.

Alec’s gaze sharpened on Jace as he drew closer to him.  “Aside from your stele, what exactly do you want me to do?”

Jace closed his eyes laying back on the bed.  “Whatever you think might work.  I’ve never done this before.  Intentionally facing it.”

“I’m not using a knife on you.”  Alec pulled out his stele, sitting next to Jace.  “The Owl?”  Alec asked cautiously.

From behind closed eyes Jace replied.  “Yes.”  That simple word trembled on the air.

_“I know you are in there, Jace Herondale.  I know you are suffering.”_

_It’s in the past.  You let it go.  They are both dead._

Jace tightened his hands into fists attempting to reach for the things he always threw into the back of his mind where they haunted him at night.

No more running.  He was sick of being afraid at night of waking up in a cold sweat.

He felt Alec run a hand along his arm, a smooth comforting stroke, but did nothing more physically.  “You have to walk me through where you are at in your head, Jace.  I can’t help you otherwise.”  Alec said.

His mouth was dry, Jace licked his lips.  “Jonathan…with the Owl.”  And then the memories swept him under before he could say more.

_“Take that dagger and stab it through her heart.”_

_Clary died bleeding from the stomach._

_His grandmother bleeding from the same wound, stunned betrayed expression locked on her face in death._

_Death…_

The memory froze and shattered in his mind reforming into the next swirling fragment…Lilith’s voice stabbing through his mind as she took control and taunted him.

_“You will return to find your friends dead and your world on fire.”_

_Fire…_

_The building was on fire._

_There was no roof to the building._

_Clary was dead again._

_Broken pieces across the floor._

_Broken like the body lying on the floor as the arrowhead pulsed to the rhythm of a heartbeat, frantic._

_“It’s time for Jace to finally feel it.”_

_Alec._

Darkness encroached on all sides threatening to seal him back into that four walled room with no exit and no escape.  Something burned into him, sank into his blood with a pulse.

_Pulse…burn…the parabati bond.  Alec._

He floundered for a moment, unable to recall why he had intentionally, stupidly decided to recall anything.

_Get up…_

Nothing happened.

_Move…_

He tried to move his fingers, still nothing.  That four walled room surrounded him, palms resting against the fireplace mantle, as he stared at himself in the mirror.  Wide fearful, haunted eyes stared back at him.

_My head is not going to be my hell!_

He clenched his hand into a fist and swung at the mirror shattering it into pieces, he spun bolting towards the windows and swinging his fist into one of the panes, a sharp crack went through his hand and he could see spider webs form in the glass, tiny cracks spreading in imperfect lines destroying the perfection of the window.  Another sharper crack up through his arm and that spider web spread further along the window pane.  With an animal yell Jace kicked that window pane watching as it shattered before him.

The moment it did the four walled room that served as his memories of the Owl crackled and shattered, leaving him gasping and blinking.

Jace blinked again, there were arms wrapped around him and Alec’s dresser lay in pieces in front of the window.  A cold blast of air gusted in through that shattered window.  Tense muscles started to unclench in his arms and back, bleedings fists relaxing, as he came back to himself.

“Jace…you ok?”  Alec’s deep voice questioned against the back of his neck, warm air pulling him further back from his own head.

“Yeah.”  He croaked still staring at the rubble heap he had apparently made of Alec’s room.

“I don’t…I wasn’t sure if you were going to jump out the window.”  Alec said, arms tightening slightly around Jace.

Jace sagged against Alec, clutching at the arms around him with one hand.  “I broke it.”  He let out a small huff of laughter, it sounded half broken and elated.  “I broke my prison.”

“Yeah, prisons do not like to be shattered easily…  I tried talking to you… you could not hear me.  I activated our rune...”

_I heard you._

Facing that part of the truth inside himself Jace felt a bit freer.

Turning around in Alec’s arms he looked up at his face that was watching him with a furrowed brow as he leaned towards Jace until their foreheads touched, dark eyes studying Jace.

Jace gave him a wane smile.  “You found me.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Meliorn had insisted they wander outside the walls of the Institute if they wanted to discuss Seelie children.  Had pursued a blasé, yet unrelenting attitude to not discuss the Unseelie realm.

_I asked Izzy to drag him out here for answers._

Thus far all Jace had managed to get was a headache from the twisted answers and roundabout questioning.

“You know I had hoped you might be a bit more willing to help us understand who this boy was considering we saved your brand new Queen’s hide a couple months ago.”   Jace pointed out.

Meliorn inclined his head with a slight tilt to the side, small smile blooming on his face at Jace’s obvious frustration.  “I have orders not to reveal who the boy’s true heritage was.”  Meliorn informed him.

_You would not have come if you intended to ignore those rules entirely._

Jace just needed to figure out the right questions.  He usually went for straightforward when dealing with Downworlders.

He glanced past Meliorn to Izzy who was walking with them through the park.  She had chosen it because of the more natural feel it would place Meliorn under and hopefully assist in relaxing him enough to reveal facts.

They had already been wandering in the cold for thirty minutes with nothing to show for it.  Jace was more surprised Meliorn had not walked away from them by now.

“Your Queen said this black winged boy was set to target and eliminate a shadowhunter.  I already know it is someone I know.  I need to know who it is.”  Jace tried this avenue, giving more facts about what the Queen had already given in the hopes of gleaning some new grain of truth.

Meliorn smiled at the new tactic, turning his head to Izzy.  “Have you taught him some of your skills or is this just the frustration from the cold?”  He questioned Izzy.

Izzy grinned over at Jace.  “Oh, I think Jace can surprise you sometimes with how he manages to discover information.”

Jace ground his teeth together at being ignored, shoving his hands in his pockets because the cold had begun to seep in through his jacket.

Izzy gave a tinkling laugh.  “Meliorn, you want to give him an answer.  My guess your new Queen does not want you to inform us who the target is.”  Izzy said.

“Our Queen has many in her service.  But this one could not be swayed by her magic.”  Meliorn turned towards Jace pointed ears and face appearing to ignore the cold entirely, golden armor glinting in the shadowy light of a cloudy day.

“Yeah, I already figured out that he had to be a half-Seelie which made no sense as to why he proved a threat to her reign or why a half-Seelie was in the Unseelie realms.  Thought you did not want Shadowhunters wandering there.”  Jace said watching as a snowflake floated down from the sky.

“We don’t, but you were already there weren’t you.”  Meliorn replied, holding Jace’s gaze for a moment but Jace could not figure out how to read his eyes.

An icy feeling crawled down Jace’s spine that had nothing to do with the cold weather.

“This boy is related to the past Queen then.”  Izzy stated, stepping around two joggers that could not see them.  “You have a hierarchy of Kings and Queens.  If he was half-Seelie he should not have been a threat to her reign regardless.”

Meliorn tilted his head towards Izzy in a nod, smile forming across his face.  “You always were the brighter of the Lightwood members.”  He told Izzy.

Izzy beamed under the compliment.

_Seelies do not lie._

Jace knew Meliorn had helped them attempt to stop Jonathan in his demonic form and break Clary free from the twinning rune.  He had to have a reason to want this boy’s heritage revealed, either to assist the new Queen or to add another layer to what Jace owed him.

“Does not help us discover who the target was.”  Jace pointed out.  Understanding that the black winged boy had been related to the past Queen explained why Jace had been used as an assassin and answered the question he had been wrestling with himself about why, but Jace still felt that whoever the Queen wanted dead would still be targeted by other factions within the court.

_And it is someone I know._

“No, but it points out that whoever this kids father was had enough pull to sway both the Unseelies and the Seelies.”  Izzy explained pulling her hood up over her head as the snow continued to float down and stick.

Meliorn stopped walking forcing both Jace and Izzy to as well and both turned back to face Meliorn.

“I believe that is all the time I can allow.”  He gave them both a small nod of his head before turning off the path into the trees, where he vanished into foliage and snow.

“That was sudden.”  Jace commented, glancing over at Izzy.  “We did not even get any information out of him.”

Izzy smiled back.  “Sure we did.  We know this black winged boy was the Queen’s son.  We have a list of known consorts back at the Institute, might help.  Can’t imagine many people would want to have sex with the Queen for fear of losing their life.”  She turned around to start heading back towards the Institute.

Jace stayed standing still.

There was no way.

_Black feathered wings._

“Izzy…”  Jace called.

She turned to glance back with a small frown pursing her red lips.

“He was related to a shadowhunter.  The wings.  I think he was Jonathan’s.  He’s the only Shadowhunter we know that has been with the Queen.”  Jace whispered stunned, staring wide eyed at Izzy.

Izzy turned back to continue walking.  “Well, then I guess we only need to narrow down who the initial target was.  Both his parents are dead.”  Izzy said.  “And that’s only a guess.”

_Yeah…Jonathan is alive due to your brother._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Both Alec and Simon were gone from the Institute when Jace and Izzy returned.  Meeting a bunch of vampire coven leaders with Lucian in Alec’s case and searching out a couple mundanes with the Sight in Simon’s case.

“I’m going to be late crafting a set of weapons requests.  Tell me if you find anything in the database.”  Izzy called as she headed off towards the armory rustling her black hair up from being smothered to her head by the snow.

Jace ignored the computers and instead wandered out to the greenhouse where he knew Jonathan was teaching some gardeners and medics about more herbal remedies to extinguish demonic infections.

The greenhouse heat instantly pressed down on his shirt with the humidity when he entered and the warmth soothed the winter cold from his skin quickly.

Jace followed the cobbled path and voices until he found the small group with Jonathan and presumably a lead medic guiding the discussion.

_Damn._

He had forgotten about the glamour.  Jonathan appeared like Nathan currently, black hair, green eyes, and wider build.

_Well that was pointless._

Jonathan and the black winged boy both had that sharp face, but after that Jace could not bring up exact details in his mind to compare.  It had all happened so fast.  The only things that truly stuck were the black feathered wings and white spiked hair now.

Jace studied the bright smile Jonathan exhibited as he explained the way the herbs interacted with angelic and demonic blood with a small frown.

_How much of that façade was real and how much was fake to retain his life here…_

It had to be more than even Jonathan realized considering he seemed to want to be here near Alec and Clary.

Jace sighed and headed back out of the greenhouse and towards Alec’s office.

Time to see if he could guess Alec’s password before he got back.

He shoved the door open to Alec’s office only to draw up short.  Red hair and a female form greeted him sat on the sofa waiting.

Clary.

“You waiting for Alec?”  Jace asked awkwardly wandering in and plopping down in Alec’s office chair hitting the keyboard.

Clary’s green eyes followed him.  “Yes.  He said he would be back from a meeting around now.  Said he wanted to discuss moving me to a different patrol group since he is pulling Nathan already and apparently romance in a patrol group is frowned upon.”  Clary said.  “There is no romance by the way.  Alec’s just jumping to conclusions.”  She quickly amended.

Jace tried a few password ideas for Alec’s computer.

_Birthday.  His birthday.  Parabati.  Password_.

None of them worked.

“Yeah.  I would just go where Alec puts you.  He and Maryse did set up the teams that saved our collective asses from the demons last summer.  He understands strengths and weaknesses in a team and it’s not anything personal about people’s feelings.”  Jace said staring at the screen trying to figure out what password Alec would use.

_Jace.  Jonathan.  Sanity._

The desktop unlocked.

Jace let out a whoop of joy before he could stop himself, fist punching into the air.

“Jace, what are you doing?”  Clary asked from her seat.  He could see the curiosity in her face but the barrier that had formed between them kept her from joining him at the computer.

_Lie._

“Locked myself out of my own account.  So I’m borrowing Alec’s.”  Jace said.

He pulled up the file on Jonathan Morgenstern and clicked the old picture.

He could see the resemblance now to Jonathan and what haunted his dreams and memories of that black winged boy.

“Won’t Alec be upset?”  Clary questioned getting up and coming around the mahogany desk.

Jace hit close on the file and clicked a random warlock file before she could make it far enough to view the screen.

“Probably.  He’ll get over it.”  Jace replied confidently.

“Get over what?”  Alec said coming into his office, before pausing noticing them both hovered awkwardly over his computer screen, eyes narrowing.

Jace hit the logout button quickly.  “You need a better password.  I guessed it easily.”  Jace commented with a grin towards Alec.

Alec’s gaze hardened further.  “And what happened to your account?”

“Locked himself out.”  Clary responded unhelpfully with a small smile down at Jace as if getting in trouble together was a good thing.

“You both need a stronger conscience.”  Alec gestured towards the sofa.  “Sit.”  He ordered.

_Look who’s talking._

Clary tensed but moved to her original spot on the sofa having no other reason to fight the order.

Jace sent his parabati a cocky grin before purposefully vaulting himself over the desk to land on the nearest chair, twisted around and plopped down leaning forward to stare at Alec in challenge.

One side of Alec’s mouth turned up briefly at the ridiculous display of agility.

“Jace, you can wait.  I already scheduled a meeting with Clary but it’s up to her if you remain in the office or not during it.”  Alec said moving to his office chair and motioning for Clary to approach.

“Yeah…he can stay.”  Clary said, green eyes flickering between them.

Jace purposefully looked over at the fireplace and the fire burning there rather than at Alec when he noticed her gaze.

Alec held Clary’s gaze unflinching from whatever she thought she might perceive.  “Clary.  As you know Simon is now a Shadowhunter.  I want to move you onto a team with him and Izzy as part of a rotation.”  Alec explained.  “You seem distracted by Sam as Nathan informs me.  Sam has petitioned complaints against Nathan already.  Frankly, the current team you are on will not last.  None of you trust the others.”  Alec paused as that sank in for Clary before continuing.  “Simon trusts you.  Izzy does not.  Not after you threatened me and Jace.  Are you able to join their team knowing you need to bridge that gap?”

Clary pulled her head back slightly, a slight blush forming before she crossed her arms in front of her.  “Yeah.  I can join Simon and Izzy’s team again.”

Alec dropped his dark gaze from Clary to shift towards Jace.  “Dismissed, Clary.”

Clary hesitated for a moment.  Then she abruptly turned to Jace crouching down in front of him, shaking her head back and forth clearly distressed.  “I’m sorry, Jace.  About how I left.  I was angry and what they explained at the Academy about parabati bonds…I should not have assumed.”

Jace leaned back away from her and glanced over at Alec in surprise before focusing on Clary again.  “People get over breakups differently.”  Jace crossed his arms in front of him.  “You and Sam seem to be off to a good start.”  He said evasively.

Clary frowned.  “We aren’t together.”

Jace stood up forcing her to back up, gaze gravitating towards Alec who had frozen in what he had been doing on the computer.  “I can’t.  I’m with someone else.”  Jace said shakily.

Clary had stood up with him, but now she took a step back.  “Oh.  Who?”

“Um…it’s all new still.  I don’t...  If it becomes something more I’ll let you know.”  Jace rambled trying to recall how Alec had explained the fiasco of introducing Magnus to his parents, grasping onto the conversation like a crutch.

“This is the Head of the Institute’s office.  Not the water cooler.  Gossip elsewhere I have work to do.”  Snapped Alec from his desk.

Breaking Clary out of her conversation with Jace enough that she glanced over at Alec and his hard gaze forcing her to leave.

Jace relaxed once her red hair vanished.

“Jace, come here.”

The rougher tone in Alec’s voice sent a thrill through Jace as he wandered back around the desk slowly, smirking as he saw Alec’s gaze slide up his body sending heat through his veins.

“Yes, parabati?”  Jace husked out, branding Alec with his eyes.

“What were you searching for in my files?”  Alec demanded turning away from the look to point at the computer screen.

His mind stopped its descent into heated, mindless territory abruptly, leaving him scrambling back towards normal distance.  Distance that would help if Alec did not have a grip on his wrist stopping his movement.

“Uh…Jonathan?”  Jace said, his gaze flickered across Alec’s face.  “I think the black winged boy was his son.  But I still don’t know who the Unseelies were after.”

Alec glanced back up at him, eyes slightly wider before leaning back in the office chair resting his palms on the armrests.  “We’ll never know for certain though.”  Alec closed his eyes to slits.  “Maybe.”  He closed his eyes fully and shook his head.  “No.”

Jace leaned down to cage Alec into the chair with his arms.  “You aren’t making sense again, Alec.”

Alec cracked his eyes open to lock their gazes, dark eyes trailing over Jace’s face.  “It’s not important enough to risk our bond.”  He said softly.

_The darkness._

It took a moment for Jace to respond caught between the heat in Alec’s gaze and the realization that Alec made that decision clear.  “Good choice.”  He managed to reply.

Izzy strode through the office door.  “Alright, Alec, you promised.  Let’s go hunt.”  Izzy called before her lip quirked up at Jace hovering over Alec in a clearly non-platonic manner.

Jace pushed off the chair arms, away from Alec and the smolder that he felt burning between them during the conversation.  “Great, let’s go.”  Jace said.

“No.”  Izzy said, tossing her black hair behind her.  “Alec is coming with me for bonding time.  If you come with you’ll just sneak off together.  Besides I have an adamas infused chain I want to test out with Alec.”  Izzy patted Jace on the shoulder without remorse.  “You can come with us next time.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Explain to me why you chose me and not Jace to test this chain with.”  Alec said to Izzy as his feet sank into the snow drifts piled along the sidewalk, boots silent due to the silent rune activation.

“Your little sister required your attention.”  Izzy hefted the large chain on her shoulder.  “Also because I figured you can dodge this chain better than most.”

Alec shot her a sideways glance ascertaining how much damage cold steel with a spike on the end would do to a body if hit in the subzero temperatures.  “Jace, could have dodged it better.”

Izzy gave a small huff of laughter.  “Have to make you sweat a little.”  She said twirling the spiked end of the chain in one hand easily.

“You are in luck.  I have a small coven of vampires that are supposedly housing demons.  You won’t have to test that out on the trees and concrete.  Or me.”  Alec informed Izzy as he led her towards the location Clary, Nathan, and Sam had uncovered earlier.

_Jonathan better still be lecturing in the greenhouse._

Several blocks later they arrived at the dilapidated building that housed the small vampire coven’s location.

They crawled in through one of the ground level windows that had been broken previously and left a gaping hole big enough for Izzy to slip inside without touching the sharp glass.  Alec felt some of the glass tear at his leather jacket as he crawled inside after her and dropped to the ground.

_Stick to the shadows._

Alec gave a hand signal to Izzy to move forward, notching an arrow on his bow as she moved silently.

They could hear a female singing somewhere in the dust filled building, the voice carrying and lilting but the words undistinguishable.  It sent something haunting and cold through Alec.  A call he recognized.

_Death._

Izzy glanced back at Alec at the song.

“Careful.”  Alec warned.

Izzy silently pushed open the door and stepped out into the hallway.  “Alec…”  Her voice sounded horrified.

Alec quickly joined her in the hallway, bow raised and arrow pointed further into the darkened hallway.  His breath caught.

Vampires lay in dust piles, already destroyed.  Large claw marks along the walls indicated the fight that had occurred but the floor remained unscathed.  The part that made his blood run cold was the thrum of power he felt through the floorboards.

An explosive screech pierced the air.

Alec pressed his back against the wall, bow still raised and pointed down the hallway as Izzy did the same across from him, chain wrapped around her shoulder and metal spike in her hand.

He felt a cold bead of sweat slide down his neck battling the icy air, it froze halfway down.

Even with the cold freezing any decaying body the stench began to grow stronger and the air more humid the further into the building they crept.

The song continued and now he could make out the words.  _“And she never wanted to leave.  Never wanted to leave.”_

The piles of vampires and the pulse in the ground sent a thrum of awareness through his body at the voice.

_Where are you…_

Alec focused on closing ground quickly towards that voice, jogging down the staircase in a winding descent until he and Izzy broke out into an underground chamber hewn from the concrete and rock.

_Wherever you are....  Found you._

“Found them.”  Izzy whispered.

Two forms, bodies shimmering as if submerged in red water, danced in the middle of the broken concrete.  One male and one female both strangely wearing Victorian era clothing and a large organ stood behind them, massive metal pipes stood behind it.  Some larger than himself.

The two beasts stopped their dance, took one look at the two Shadowhunters and shrieked a loud ear piercing scream.

That scream sent primal fear straight through Alec’s gut freezing him in place before training took over and he fired the bolt directly at the nearest form.

_Banshees._

He heard Izzy’s new chain hiss through the air, the banshee she was aiming for dodged in a smooth glide to the side, the metal pike cracked into the concrete ground with a loud rattling thud of metal and chain.

Alec stepped between Izzy and the two banshees as she began to pull the chain back in quickly, lining up another arrow and firing, firing again before the first was half way to its target, Izzy’s chain was halfway back into her grip.

He dropped to a knee, firing off another set of three arrows rapid fire to herd the banshees back and to the right, towards Izzy’s strong side.

Shrieking under the barrage of arrows the two banshees sidled to the side, before letting out two screams in unison.

The sound threatened to rupture his eardrums and pain erupted in his head from the sound.  Alec grit his teeth and set up another barrage of arrows into the banshees forcing them to cut off their screams just as Izzy’s metal chain and her adamas whip both lashed passed him to wrap around the two forms.

Two of his arrows found their marks in the banshee’s chests now that Izzy held them stationary for a moment.  The bodies stopped floating through the air and crashed to the floor, traces of light and darkness flowing out of their bodies and further towards another set of stairs only to change and shift direction and travel back towards Izzy’s new chain and the spiked metal head at the end.

_It absorbs power…_

Alec would ask her about it once they reached the song still singing further down, below the surface.  He bolted down the concrete, dirt, and stone hallway that had been carved into the earth traveling further down, freezing when he spotted where the song emitted from.

“Well, shit.”  Izzy said from beside him.

His question to Izzy vaporized itself into shock.

A chrysalis, similar to the one he had built so long ago, only this one appeared green.  The haunted melody continued louder than before.

_“Never wanted to leave…”_

_Always wondered where the excess darkness went without being converted into nature._

The power he could not control enough and had brought down a building on everyone’s heads using just enough control to release it away from everyone after expending a chunk to destroy the demons.  The part he could not fully keep inside.

“Use your chain on it.”  Alec whispered, staring at the monstrosity and igniting his seraph blade.  “On my signal.”

_Don’t touch it._

He reached for the parabati bond letting its power begin to swirl through his body, burning him in warmth and heat.

A flash as his mind conjured up warm breath against his lips as a hot mouth panted against him.

Tracing his eyes across the shell, he could perceive movement of whatever sang inside the chrysalis as it twisted and turned following his movement.

_Not letting it in this time.  I made my choice._

“Now!”  Alec called to Izzy locating the weakest point where the power stretched the faintest, it glowed with the least green light.  He heard the hiss of her chain swinging towards the chrysalis as he slammed his seraph blade deeply into the chrysalis, twisting the blade sharply and pulling it down, felt the power attempt to wink the blade out of existence.

The metal spike and chain hit the side of the chrysalis, one spike impaling itself into the hard shell and holding there, bright cracks forming along both the chrysalis and the metal spike traveling around the entire surface area of the weapon.

_No…_

Whatever absorption orb Izzy had put inside that weapon was not going to be enough.

Alec spun, charging back towards Izzy.  “Drop it!  Run!”

Izzy dropped the chain immediately and spun on her heel to take off back up the carved concrete and dirt tunnel in a snap.

A loud crackling like ice splitting off a glacier sounded behind him.  Alec threw himself forward into the tunnel Izzy had vanished, bouncing hard off the wall before stumbling along the path.  He glimpsed Izzy ahead of him a second before he sensed the detonation of power as the chrysalis shell failed.

_Izzy!_

The percussive boom hit his back like a shockwave followed by a wall of ice that froze the tunnel around him and seeped into his spine.

It would reach Izzy…

Alec sprinted faster through the ice covered tunnel feet skidding and slipping a few times on the ice before he broke out into the chamber that held the musical organ.

No Izzy to be seen.

“Izzy!”  Alec yelled, spinning in a circle searching for her lithe dark form, scanning for a glint of silver or dark hair.  No, he could not lose her because he had made the decision not to grasp that tainted power.  Cold fear and anguished regret started to clench around his heart in a fist.  “Izzy!”  He shouted.

“Alec!”  Izzy’s voice reverberated and rebounded loudly through the room.

The painful fear and suicidal regret eased off, heart still hammering in his chest.  He still could not see her as his eyes scanned the area for movement.  “I think I’m stuck…in the organ.”  She called, voice echoing.

_In the organ…_

Alec jumped on top of the keyboard setting off a series of horrible notes that bounced around the room loudly.

“Ow!”  Izzy shouted sending off another array of painful sounds.

Alec clambered to the top of the organ pipes until he reached the largest ones before peering inside one.  No Izzy.  “What possessed you to climb into the musical instrument?”  Alec griped out, calmer now that he knew she was alive and presumably safe even though she was stuck.

“Evil death magic.  I figured if I could wrap myself with my own whip and hide in an encasing of metal it might block some of it.”  Izzy replied, she sounded closer but it was hard to tell with the sounds bouncing around in his skull like jack hammers as he stood on the pipes.

_Lead…not iron._

Alec doubted much of the blast would have been deflected by lead, but then again mundanes used it to deflect nuclear energy.

He finally located Izzy stuck in the fifth largest pipe, blinking up at him with wide eyes from the dark.  Reaching down he pulled her out of the tight metal tube that could have easily been her tomb.

Izzy dropped down onto the keyboard, adamas whip uncurling from around her chest and head, sending out another horrible blast of discordant notes that threatened to deafen him and with a sigh Alec did the same, making his own ears ring when his feet landed.

“Home.  And we’ll need to involve the Iron Sisters or a bunch of warlocks to clean that corruption up.”  Alec gestured towards the collapsed concrete and dirt hallway where ice could been seen glistening on the rocks.

At least whatever was inside the chrysalis would suffocate or die of starvation down there.

Izzy flipped her phone open shakily dialing Maryse.  “Mom, we found another chrysalis.  Alec and I deactivated it, I think, but we need a cleanup crew here.”

“Tell her the creature inside may be alive.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace flew through the doors to the infirmary, knocking both doors into the walls with a loud bang as he sprinted down to the assigned room for Alec and Izzy, gripping the doorframe to torque his body through the air and through the door landing to glare at the two people sitting on a bed playing cards.

“You called the Institute before you called me?”  Jace snapped at them furious.

Izzy turned her head towards him.  “I’m supposed to call you before the Institute?”  Izzy drawled with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes!”  Jace shouted rounding on Alec next.  “I had to hear it from Maryse that you two found a chrysalis.”

The irrational fear and sickness that had gripped Jace when she told him had left Jace cancelling his training sessions for the next two hours and sending a text to Simon to return to the Institute from whatever Sight active mundane he was working with.

Alec extended his arm out for Jace to inspect without comment for a moment.  “It was green.  I’m not sure if it was related to the Seelies or if it was a greater demon attempting to gather the remnants when that other chrysalis was used to destroy the building.  A lot of the excess from that one was never properly converted into something not made of darkness.”

Jace dropped Alec’s arm moving over to Izzy to begin to inspect her.  “Great so now both of you are going to be stuck inside for another two months.”

Alec and Izzy exchanged glances.  “We found a weakness.  Lead seems to deflect it quite effectively.”  Izzy explained before a sly smile appeared on her face.  “I crawled into a lead pipe and saved my own ass from the epic explosion.”

“You crawled into an organ.”  Alec stated flatly.

_You what?_

Jace gaped at Izzy.  “What happened to your new toy?”  Jace questioned, because that metal chain and spike had been massive.  He was surprised she figured out a way to fit herself.

“It melted the chrysalis casing shattering it and destroyed the weapon she made in the process.”  Alec said tensely, gaze locked on Jace.

“There were two banshees protecting it.  They are usually related to the Unseelies, which would put a faction of the Seelie court in line with the demons from Edom that have not been located.”  Izzy explained setting the cards her and Alec had been playing with on the table near her bed.

Jace nudged Alec over so he could sit on the bed with both of them, Alec pressed his shoulder into Jace once he was settled.

The medic assigned them strolled in to release them with a warning that just because nothing was detected to still be careful and rest.

“Medics always want you to rest or drink fluids.”  Alec grumbled as they exited the infirmary, bumping into Jace’s shoulder again enough that Jace suspected he was doing it intentionally.

“Izzy!”  Simon charged the rest of the way to the small group before engulfing her in a tight hug.  “Jace texted saying you were in the infirmary.”

Izzy pulled him back enough to look him in the face.  “I’m resourceful.  I made it out alright.”  She glanced over at Alec.  “Resourcefulness runs in the family.”

“Come on.”  Jace pressed a palm to Alec’s back to guide him.  “Medic said for both of you to take a bath in holy water, eat some leafy greens, along with a small list of other crap to do.”

Simon raised his eyebrows.  “The medics have no idea how to treat the chrysalis do they.”

Jace glanced back at Simon.  “Nope.  They haven’t got a clue.  Just try a bit of everything to combat every known threat to Nephilim and hope something works.”  He agreed, refusing to drop that connection to Alec.

Izzy and Simon trailed after and Izzy handed over the sheet the medic had given her of aftercare to Simon.

“Iron supplements, holy water, sunlight….”  Simon glanced up at Izzy and then Alec.  “A salad…”  He went back to reading.  “Wear silver jewelry.”  He arched a brow at Alec, who just rolled his eyes.

“The medics already gave us all the runes and treatments they could in the infirmary.  Those are just further ideas to stem off infection.”  Alec pointed out before turning into his own room.

Jace pushed the door closed behind him, latching it, and threw the deadbolt because he did not trust Jonathan to not pick the locks right now before turning to Alec.

“Strip.”

Alec raised his eyebrows in slight amusement at the command.  “Demanding when you are stressed.”  Alec replied but pulled off his shirt revealing the runed skin underneath.  No dark marks, no black veins, no faint outline of corruption to be seen.

Jace quirked one side of his mouth up sending a smoldering look at Alec.

_I recall someone begging for it when they were stressed._

He let the comment slide, instead wandering over to the bathroom and filling the tub with water before casting his stele over it.  It would not be purified water like what the Iron Sisters could create but it still acted similarly to holy water now.

Jace turned back towards Alec who had finished stripping his clothes off.  “Get in.”  He ordered because a part of him was still irritated that Alec had been anywhere near a chrysalis.

Alec climbed in without comment leaning against the far side of the tub, studying Jace with a disturbingly intense look.

“Jace?”

It was only then that Jace realized he had been staring at Alec, raking his eyes over his skin trying to discern if anything was different.  His eyes shot to Alec’s.

“What were you even doing near that thing in the first place?”  Jace bit out holding that dark gaze with his own heterochromia one.

His parabati looked away.  “Izzy and I went there to test out her new weapon.  I thought it would be more a scuffle than anything that would require a full team.  The report only placed vampires and mundanes being coerced by demons there.”  He splashed the water slightly when he moved his arm in a wider gesture.  “Not…what we found.”  Alec leaned his head back against the tub, sinking further in the water, half closing his eyes.

_Don’t make me walk away from you._

Jace pulled himself to a stand and dug around in Alec’s cabinet until he found the iron supplements, briefly checking the date.  They would expire next month.  “Got anything silver in your room?”  Jace called.

“Just a decorative dagger that Max gave me ages ago.  Should be in my dresser near the photos.”  Alec said before taking a breath and dunking himself under the water.

Jace glanced at his submerged form before wandering out to the bedroom and digging through the dresser until he found the silver dagger in the far back, snatching up the blunt pointless weapon and returning to the bathroom.  Alec had resurfaced by the time he got back, black hair flattened from the water.

“No poison in the water.”  Alec commented pushing his arm through the water allowing small waves to form in its wake.

He was right.  No dark stain had formed in the water and Alec had not flinched from the stele purified water.

Jace slid his hand along Alec’s arm when he stood up to climb out of the tub, gazes locking from the touch.

Alec stopped moving, somehow both incredibly awkward and dangerous hovering in the tub still.

“How’d you avoid infection?”  Jace questioned turning his head enough to half turn away from Alec fearful of the answer.

“I made a choice.”  Alec said.  “One I won’t forget.”

Jace closed his eyes halfway, turning away from Alec.

_You sure about that?_

He heard the soft slosh of water as Alec stepped out of the tub completely.

Alec slid one wet arm over Jace’s shoulder, hot breath ghosting across his neck as he drew closer.

His breath hitched and he shouldered Alec off with a small grunt.  “You have a tendency to get me soaked.”

Alec let out a soft laugh, allowing his arm to drop, sending tingles down Jace’s spine.

Jace watched Alec reflected off the bathroom mirror, water still dripping down his body, dark runes that Jace had etched across his skin, head tilted to barely hover over Jace’s skin at his nape.

“True.  Helps with ripping your clothes off.”  Alec whispered against his skin yet not touching.

It did not matter that Alec had not touched him further, heat flashed through Jace’s body in a wildfire.

Jace stepped away from Alec, moving into the bedroom, away from that need, still pissed Alec had been near the chrysalis and unsure what that meant.  He latched onto that anger like a lifeline, something to keep himself from instantly giving in.

One glance back at the bathroom door sparked the fire in his blood higher, Alec might have pulled dark sweatpants on but he could see him swallow as he tossed back the iron pill, silver blunt blade in his other hand.

“I’m not going to…”  Jace trailed off, the comment to bitter to release into the air.

Alec prowled towards him instead.  “Good.  I wasn’t going to let you.”

His heart froze before resuming its beat, faster.

_He understood I can’t chase…_

Jace remained frozen, rooted to his spot, staring when Alec reached him.  “I can’t break myself again.”  Jace rasped out.

“You won’t have to.”  Alec promised, tilting his head as if to kiss him shifting at the last moment to barely touch Jace’s neck.

Jace shuddered from the barely there caress, realizing to late that the heat between them had already sparked and caught fire.  He arched his neck slightly to allow Alec more room letting out a hiss when a gentle touch glided across his skin.

The cold anger and fear pushed away by the blazing heat and pulsing rhythm that the parabati bond took up every time they drew close.

Alec’s dark gaze held Jace still as he ran his hands down his body, dropping to his knees before him.

“Alec…”

He could not look away.

Jace almost jumped when Alec unbuckled and dragged Jace’s pants down smoothly.

“I don’t regret my choice.  And I’m not sorry for this.”  Alec said breath ghosting across his flesh forcing Jace to close his eyes.

Jace scrambled to catch up to wherever Alec’s notions had guided him, thoughts muddled through his mind from the fire burning in his blood.

“I hate that word.”  Jace rasped out attempting and failing to ignore the mouth lazily skimming his skin without actually touching its destination, his fingers instead grasped onto Alec’s shoulders to keep himself steady.

“Regret?”  Alec questioned against his skin, dark hair and part of his face all Jace could watch.

_I’m going to collapse if you keep doing that._

Blood rushing south quickly made attempting to hold onto the conversation practically impossible.

Jace managed to get out an affirmative hum, body starting to unconsciously shift towards Alec’s wandering hot mouth that infuriatingly refused to land where he wanted him.

“Why?”  The questioned formed against his skin in hot breath.

“Can’t move forward if you regret…”  Jace’s voice cut out as Alec engulfed his length in heat, eyes rolling back, knees threatening to buckle.

Then Alec moved and Jace was lost in the primal heat, brain unable to focus on anything past Alec’s mouth moving over his length and the parabati rune burning against his side with the steady beat of their souls.

The desire and need.

Awareness that his breathing echoed loudly in the quiet could not stop the burning in Jace’s veins.

_Fuck…I don’t want to...not yet…_

Jace growled back a groan, which probably failed miserably when he felt Alec respond by gripping his hips tighter only serving to wind Jace’s body higher and closer to the edge.

Alec’s thumbs dragged across the flesh over his hipbones down along where hip met thigh sending blazing heat to scorch through Jace, mouth still working Jace into mindless need.

The warning of Alec’s hand traveling back up Jace’s side to brand into his parabati rune did not prepare Jace for the riptide of heated desire that flowed through the bond triggering his release.

_Holy…_

Jace bucked hard, Alec’s harsh grip on his hip the only thing stopping him from hurting his parabati.  Jace barely noticed throat locked on a cry.

Alec kept his mouth around him as Jace rode out the last of his orgasm before scooping Jace up and laying him on the bed swiftly.

Jace lay there boneless and dizzy, attempting to string together a coherent thought.

The gratefulness that he would not collapse on the floor did not last long.  Jace felt Alec press his hand against the rune again, felt as something hot twisted through his body sending spasms back through his flesh.

“Feel that?  That burn is us.  Our bond.”  Alec hoarsely growled at him.

Jace’s eyes widened as he realized another orgasm imminently approached.

_Oh fuck…he’s even not touching me._

Alec leaned over him biting a kiss into the spot over his heart, hand still branding over Jace’s parabati rune.

White hot pleasure shot through him again leaving him gasping and moaning, heard a low groan from Alec as he watched Jace unravel again.

_Alec and his goddamn control…_

Jace struggled to even out his breathing from the panting near hyperventilation it had become.

“Believe I’m not corrupted now?”  Alec asked with a gravity that belied the pleasure he had just overrun Jace’s body with.

It took several moments of Jace staring at Alec searching his gaze before Jace could respond.  “I don’t know.”

_I’m not even sure what you just did to me._

“What will it take for you to trust me again?”  Alec questioned running a hand along Jace’s body.

“Light up your arm and we’ll see what color it is.”  Jace said belligerently.

Alec’s hand stilled on his chest, dark eyes closing briefly but Jace had seen the flash of pain in them regardless.

A moment later and Jace could see the veins shifting to golden before fading away, the connection between them growing for a moment before smoothing back out easily.  Alec’s hand still pressed to his chest.

“What do you want me to tell you?  That I need you.  That I have never gone a day without thinking about you.  That I don’t imagine taking you.”  Alec’s gaze remained locked on Jace scorching him.

Jace clenched his jaw, throat tight with emotion and reached up to hook Alec’s jaw with his fingers pulling him closer until their breaths mingled.  “Keep talking.”  Jace husked attempting to quirk his lip up in humor because this was exactly what he needed to hear but was terrified of the feelings it was inducing.  Stronger than before.

Alec pressed his lips against Jace’s jaw, whispering against the skin. “I dream about you.  About how I wanted to return to my parabati every night for months.”

“Stay.”  Jace shivered the word out.

_Stay with me._

Alec pressed his lips against Jace’s throat.

Jace pulled him up so he could look into his eyes, see the shifting softness and heat that swirled there before he pulled Alec in a slant meeting his mouth in a slow glide, wrapping his arms around Alec’s shoulders and twisting them both around.

Alec’s lips quirked up in a smile at the move before reaching up and running his fingers along the side of Jace’s face, eyes going distant for a moment.

“Rest with me.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

The icy feeling of the power washing over his body had strangely never taken root.  He could see the power, could sense it, but the screaming demand to soak in it remained a memory.

The blazing white of the parabati bond striking through his body when the chrysalis had detonated had barely been noticed in his panic for Izzy at the time.

Alec turned over to stare at the blank space Jace had lain earlier.  They had rested for about an hour before Jace was forced to return to training sessions, having used up his two hours of cancelled sessions quickly.

_You asked me not to use you._

Alec closed his eyes as a spark of pain crossed his chest.

_And I used you anyway._

That irrevocable need for Jace, the constant desire to be close.

_“Tell me you don’t need this.”_

Craved him, his touch, needed him with every piece of his soul.

Alec rolled out of the bed and pulled a shirt on, walking down the hall to Izzy’s door and knocking.

No answer.

He pushed the door open anyway.  He would pay the price if her and Simon were doing something, his concern outweighed modesty.

No Izzy or Simon in the room when he glanced inside.

_Armory then._

He found Izzy in the armory working on a half melted sword, an orb strapped around her left upper arm and a Sensor strapped to her right arm.

Alec raised his eyebrows at the strange awkward display.  “What are you doing?”  He questioned catching her attention.

Izzy raised her head up, before her eyes narrowed at him nearly to slits.

Anger.

“Draining excess crap I was exposed to out apparently.”  She bit out with a gesture towards the orb.  “I threw up the herbs the medics gave me and whatever that nasty concoction Nathan brought me.”

Alec shifted before coming over to her, watching as the Sensor gave a soft hum and Izzy flinched.

“Sex.”  Alec said.

Izzy glanced to him sharply, brow furrowing, mouth hanging open in shock and confusion.  “What?”

Alec nodded towards the orb.  “Simon is Nephilim now.  Combine it with the herbs Nathan gives you and it should work to push the cold out.”  He explained.

Izzy blinked before slamming the melted metal slag down that used to be a sword.  “Magnus was here earlier to discuss how to dismantle the corruption left behind.  He did a scan on me and said I should be ok.”  She shrugged her arms out.  “These are just precautions because someone never explained what worked.”

“I just did.”  Alec said bluntly.

_Unless you would rather I cut symbols into your arms._

Izzy huffed picking back up the metal slag and shoving the length back into the furnace.

“I wanted to ask if you had any more of those weapons made.”  Alec said carefully watching Izzy for a response.

Izzy tilted her head towards the metal melting in the furnace.  “I melted part of it down.  I’m adding another orb to it.”

A warm proud feeling buoyed through Alec, almost turning his lips into a smile.  “Good plan.  I cannot infer if there is another one out there.”

Izzy unstrapped the Sensor from her arm and tossed it in the air once eyeing her brother before setting it on the table.  “Simon has sparring soon.  Want to join him and Jace or do you have stuffy Head duties to attend?” She drawled.

Alec rolled his eyes at his sister.  “Most of my day will be spent haggling with Magnus and I need you to talk to the Iron Sisters for purification items.”  He inclined his head slightly.  “Yes, I can join you.”

Izzy raised an eyebrow.  “It has nothing to do with a blond parabati being present.”  She chuckled.

She laughed louder at his glare.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Sweat stuck his clothing to him like a second skin and Jace reminded himself to strip the offensive shirt off after this round with Alec.

He moved in to clash their weapons together, hours of practice and instruction making him move slower.  Jace refused to activate his runes during training towards the end of the day forcing his body to build the endurance he needed.

The weapon rattled out of his grasp on the next hit from Alec, pain reverberated up his arm from the impact.

Alec moved like lightning, striking out, and the world tilted as Jace left the floor.

Thrown to the floor, practice blade against his throat Jace caught movement out of the corner of his eye as a black haired man walked in.

Alec stretched out his hand to help Jace up only to roll abruptly to the side as Jonathan slammed an axe into his side, the roll kept the blow into a glancing one but bright red blood still could be seen on the blade’s edge.

Jace kicked his feet up and jack knifed himself to a stand slamming his practice sword into Jonathan’s chest, whipping his hand out to collide with Jonathan’s throat when he pitched forward from the blow.

“Wrong move, asshole.”  Jace snarled at Jonathan.

As Alec stood back up lifting his shirt to inspect the gash along his side with a wince.

Jonathan barely spared Jace a glance, studying Alec, before slowly clapping his hands together repeatedly with a wide grin.

Jace stepped between insanity and his parabati, only for Alec’s hand to land on his shoulder telling him he was alright.

“Really don’t like your insane friend.”  Jace muttered loud enough that he knew both Alec and Jonathan would hear him.

Jonathan just threw him a taunting smile.

“Neither of you have to like each other.  Just don’t kill each other.”  Alec said, ignoring the cut on his side.

_More concerned about the casual violence._

Jace bent and scooped his sword back up off the ground.

“I hear you found something interesting.”  Jonathan drawled glancing between the two of them before bringing up the axe and licking the red blood off the blade.  “You appear to be coherent.”  Jonathan nodded towards Alec.

Jace tensed at the disgusting display, hand clenching around his own sword.  “You understand these things the most.  Have any way of tracking or scanning for more of these chrysalis chambers?”  Jace asked in an attempt to guide the conversation.

Alec came around to Jonathan gripping the back of his neck, the dark black hair clashing against the pale skin.

“Go and kill it.”  Alec pressed a kiss into Jonathan’s forehead.  “Bring me its heart.”  It was said lowly but Jace still caught it.

Jonathan stared into Alec’s eyes, smile forming across his face, as he pressed his forehead hard against Alec’s for a moment.  “I will bring you a river of blood.”

Some of the old familiar madness flickered in Alec’s eyes when he turned around to face Jace.  He blinked and it was gone.

Jace swallowed reaching the sword out to tap at Alec’s arm in a half playful test of Alec’s mentality.

“You with me?”  Jace asked.

Alec raised his eyes to Jace’s.  “I’m always with you, Jace.”

“Good.  You’re backup.”  Jace bolted out after Jonathan before Alec could argue the point.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_“But one soul lies anxious, wide awake…”_

The song could still be heard echoing through the destroyed building as Alec, Jace, and Jonathan worked to clear the rubble before they could venture deeper.

“Do you hear it?”  Alec whispered to Jonathan.

Jonathan glanced over at him with a furrowed brow.  “Hear what exactly, pure one, the wind howling?  The snow falling?”

_The song…_

Realization sent a chill down Alec’s spine.   Neither could hear the ethereal song echoing through the building.  And now he was uncertain if Izzy had heard it or if she had just been responding to other elements in the building.

“I’m with Insane over there.”  Jace said, eyeing Alec warily, his blade was out but deactivated as they moved through the buildings rubble.  “Hear what?”

Alec grit his teeth at the thought of needing to share another oddity that would detract from the trust he barely felt Jace gave him.  “The singing.”  He ground out.

Both Jace and Jonathan tensed looking at him askance.

_I’m not insane._

_“…never wanted to leave…”_

The voice called to him, echoing through the ground, cracking like frost against his skull.

“Like a voice?”  Jace questioned inching closer to Alec.

“You can still feel it then.”  Jonathan commented moving away from the pair deeper into the building.

“Yes…singing…”  Alec replied cocking his head, licking his lips as he brought up the memory of how to detect magic around him.

It was different than seeing Magnus’s wards, different than the swirling chaos inside each demon, this was fainter yet infinitely more powerful.

Alec moved forward through the rubble, staring at the ground where the ice glinted following the path winding through the rubble back down to the musical organ and its metal tombs.

“You weren’t kidding about an organ in here.”  Jace said looking at the massive instrument, part of it was now covered in concrete rubble and the rest a layer of dust and dirt.

Jonathan pressed one of the keys letting out a single note.

The singing stopped.

Alec froze, bow coming up and whipping around to face the collapsed tunnel.  Debris and rubble still covered most of it.

“It knows we’re here.”  Alec whispered into the silence.

Jace activated both his seraph blades turning towards where Alec looked.

Jonathan pressed another note, lower, another note a bit higher.  “Dance with the devil they always say.”  Jonathan grinned over at Alec.  “Can you feel it in the ground?”

The exploded chrysalis’s power had seeped into every inch of the ground, swathing it in corruption that would last for decades and would draw demons for miles around to breed here.  Not to mention the number of mundanes that would be sacrificed in the bowels of the earth here, probably on the slab of stone seated directly in front of the organ.  That slab appeared to be about the right length for a body.

“Yes…”  Alec could see it twisting in the ground, slowly vanishing from his sight as it melded with the grass and rodents above.  “Don’t touch the roots.”

There were not many tree roots concrete and buildings preventing growth but there was an abundance of roots growing around the entrance to that collapsed tunnel now.

“Now would be a great time for Clary’s fireball of destruction.”  Jace commented, before shrugging his jacket off, tugging his shirt off and replacing the jacket.  He wrote the rune for fire on the piece of clothing before hurling the ball at the roots, it landed and began to burn steadily, slowly catching fire to the roots.

A deafening shriek echoed through the chamber.  Alec knew the others could hear it now because both Jace and Jonathan cringed and crouched towards the ground, weapons raised.

The roots drew back quickly from the entrance to the tunnel, revealing a mostly clear path downwards.

_“One soul lies anxious…”_

Jace prowled towards the entrance, blades raised.  He tapped one of the walls the roots had vanished from with the tip of his blade.  Nothing happened.

“She does not want to leave.”  Alec advised following Jace with his bow up, arrow knocked.  “She wants something…”

“She?”  Jace questioned without looking back, but Alec could see how his whole body tense further.

_Memories of Lilith._

Jonathan moved past both of them, dragging his blade along the side of the dirt tunnel with a soft hiss.  “Pure one.”  Jonathan called.

Both Alec and Jace quickly caught up to him staring into what remained of the green chrysalis.  A twisted female body lay half out of it, twisted roots coming down from the ceiling to impale the body along wrists, thighs, and through the chest.

Alec dropped to the floor from the small outcropping the tunnel opened out onto.  The moment he hit the floor he could feel that thrum through the ground again, the female body turned her head towards him, pale dead eyes snapping open to look at him.

“My dears…” Her voice flowed across his senses in an ethereal chilly sound, sinking into his heart.

Alec let the bolt fly, vines twisted out from the chrysalis to snap the arrow shaft in half.  The pieces bounced harmlessly against the ground.

“Corrupted Seelie?”  Jonathan asked circling towards the left side as Jace took the other side, both with blades on.

A pause hovered in the air.  Alec could feel it as the power gathered, readying for the attack.

_Move._

He felt Jace move at the same moment he did, the roots lashed out twisting through the air to impale and ensnare them.

Alec launched himself into the air to avoid a series of vines writhering along the ground, firing off an array of arrows at the body, some of the vines retracted to deflect the barrage.

_Distract her long enough to land a blow._

Alec leapt backwards to the outcropping that lead to the tunnel, firing off another array of arrows towards the female form, spotting the melted chain laying along the floor.

Jace snatched that chain up throwing it around the trapped female forms neck once before needing to roll out of the way as more vines impaled the ground he had just vacated.

_Can’t keep this up._

The sheer amount of dodging and diving was already starting to take its toll on Jace after hours of training, a blink later and Jace was a glowing beacon of light as he activated a series of runes with a thought cleaving through several roots and vines in the process.

Jonathan grabbed the chain from his end and started to pull it taut, only to drop it and dive out of the way of another massive root, it barely missed him.

“You want a soul?”  Alec called to the female form, watching as all the roots and vines paused.  Her broken body dragged itself upright to sit half in the remainder of the green shell, chain still partially wrapped around her neck, dead eyes locking on Alec.

_“Eat you up whole…”_   She sang, sending chills down Alec’s spine at how broken whatever the creature had been had become.

This went beyond insanity to something depraved and infected.

She stretched her arm out towards Jace.

_No…what was the rhythm inside the chrysalis…._

Alec tried to recall that memory, praying Brother Zachariah had not hidden that one within his own mind to slowly be uncovered later.  He came up blank.  Nothing.  He knew there was a rhythm that pulsed with the magic within the chrysalis, but could not recall its power.

The vines and roots all lashed towards Jace.

Jace launched himself into the air flipping to land on the ceiling briefly before gravity took over and he started to plummet back towards the ground, twisting in the air with both seraph blades as he went cleaving through most of the vines and roots.  In some strange agile twist and bend Jace managed to avoid the roots impaling him but they wrapped around his body tightening and suspending him spread eagle.

Alec sent another array of arrows towards the female’s body sprinting towards it.

Jonathan looped the chain around the creature’s neck again pulling tightly.

Alec felt more than saw the moment the roots impaled Jace through a leg, watched as Jonathan was caught through an arm.

Alec slammed his seraph blade into the female’s heart.  His seraph blade winked out.

_Just like the subway…_

She smiled the roots impaling the other two drawing back to her and into her mouth.

Alec punched his hand through her chest, feeling the bone and cartilage snap, the shock reverberating up his arm through the bone in bright spikes of pain informing him he had probably stressed or broken the bone.  He did not care.

His hand wrapped around the pulsing beating organ, ignoring the pain, the power digging into his skin begging to be let back in.

_Not this time._

Several roots slammed into his body, impaling through his side, one leg, and mostly his leg.  Tearing him away from her body, the heart came with him, arm ablaze in pain as most of the roots aimed an attack on his limb.

The song stopped.  Silence filled his head.

_You never stood a chance._

The creature, Unseelie, whoever she had been had tried to harness something you could not control.  Unleash it or be devoured.

_Or find a place to hide._

Jace sliced the Seelie’s head off only to stumble when his blade winked out upon touching her skin.

_Jace…_

Alec dropped the heart on the floor, instantly feeling the pull lessen.  Taking a breath fire tore through his arm and chest lighting up in pain from the roots impaled in several spots.

“Grab the chain.”  Jonathan ordered tugging on one end of the chain and Jace hauled on the other, both twisting and pulling until the metal adamas infused chain sank in and slowly collapsed her neck with a sickening wet crunch.

Alec hacked at the roots and vines freeing his body but did not remove them yet.  He would need Jace’s Iratze and probably Jonathan’s help to pull them out of his body.  Jace appeared as if he had been impaled a couple times as well.

Jonathan went about yanking his own out without much comment about the pain, but Alec could see him paling from blood loss.

Jace drew an Iratze over his own skin first before approaching Alec and cutting him down from the plants completely.

Alec staggered when he hit the ground.

“Just pull them out.”  Alec ordered, breath becoming increasingly labored when he chanced a glance down, one clearly had sunk through a main artery in his arm.

They both already knew, but Jace said it anyway.  “This is going to hurt.”   He warned grabbing the first one and extracting it.

Jonathan dropped beside them.  “I’ll pull them out.  You draw the runes.”  He told Jace, reaching for the root in Alec’s leg.

Between the two of them they extracted the seven roots from Alec and then the their own injuries, before the three just lay on the ground basking in the fact they were alive and healing from the Iratze and a few other healing runes.

“Let’s do that again sometime.”  Jace commented sarcastically into the silence.

“That was fun.”  Jonathan replied.

Alec chuckled darkly, turning to look over at the remains of the green chrysalis they still needed to dispose of.  “Incredibly fun.  I really do not want to face another one of those things.”

“I call where we go next for ‘fun.’  Votes for a vampire bar or a club.  Something that reasonably won’t kill us.” Jace informed them staring up at the dirt above their heads still hanging in mossy tendrils of deceased roots.

“Ideas on how to disseminate evil, green, and infectious over there.”  Alec said still studying the chunk that had not vaporized itself in the initial blast.

Jonathan waved a hand in the air without getting up.  “That’s your department, Pure One.”

“Seraph blades dented yours after you were gone from it.  Let’s try that first.”  Jace offered turning to watch Alec before glancing towards the green chunks on the floor.

Alec ran his gaze over Jace landing on the parabati rune.

He dismissed the idea before it fully formed.  He valued Jace to much to use the bond like that.  That just left the darkness and insanity.

Alec reached up to rub at his neck at the memory of a needle piercing his neck sharply.

_I can’t let it in again…_

He knew it was wrong.

Knew it was evil.

Knew he should not even be considering it.

Alec stared at the last chunks of green, broken and glistening on the dirt floor, swirls of magic permeating off to sink towards the root structure that had stopped moving.

“Can’t keep doing that, Alec.”  Jace’s voice cut through his wandering mind like a blade stepping between him and the chrysalis, lips and eyes tight with emotion.

“Would make things incredibly easier.”  Jonathan pointed out sitting up, he waved an arm between the two of them.  “Just do you parabati thing beforehand, I can stab Alec after.”

That comment pulled Alec away from Jace.  He had already gone to him from the ice cold blast he had been hit with earlier.  Something he refused to alert either of them to that fact.

“No.”  He said walking towards the rubble of the chrysalis igniting his seraph blade.  “Least we know there is a civil war between Seelie and Unseelie quietly going on.”  Alec pointed at the dead corpse.  “She is an Unseelie.”  He grimaced.  “Was an Unseelie.”

_Might explain the assassin mission Jace was sent on._

Jace paced opposite him and slashed at the green crystal with his seraph blade.  The blade went out with a wink upon touching the green shell.  Jace glanced across the green broken shell towards Alec spinning his blade around once before trying the corpse next, same result.

Jonathan started sawing chunks of roots apart with his blade.

Alec flipped his phone out and dialed Izzy requesting her to bring the remaining orbs she had regardless of how functional, along with Simon and one of his toy drones.  Izzy did say Simon wanted to test one out.  He would test it out under pain of detonating a bomb.

“These orbs will probably explode the same as prior.”  Alec explained as they waited for Izzy to arrive, hacking more of the root structure away.

“Well, one of you two can set them.  I’m not throwing my life away.”  Jonathan said tossing a dagger up and catching it where he was seated on a large chunk of rubble, bundle of roots beside him.

“Alec…”  Jace warned.  “I’ll do it.”

Alec shook his head slightly.  “Simon is bringing a drone that I am hoping will accomplish the mission for us.”

Jace sent him a look that clearly said he doubted it would work before gesturing around them.  “We are in a tomb of magic.  You expect electronics to work here?”

Alec waved his phone in his hand.  “Got signal.  Hoping the drone won’t require much at the very least we can just throw it halfway.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

A small eternity later Jace’s ears picked up the sounds of scuffling and low voices echoing through the tunnel back out of the green chrysalis’s chamber.

Jace glanced over at Alec who had stood unnaturally still for most of the wait staring at the remainder of the chrysalis and humming some tune, while strangely Jonathan had joined him after a time.

Whatever language Jonathan was singing in, Jace could not understand.  He knew it was a mundane language, something guttural and hard.  Not German though.

_Should have studied languages growing up._

Instead his entire focus had been directed on physical and battle, with a slight offshoot for piano which was really just ambidexterity training.

Izzy stumbled through the tunnel entrance nearly blending into the dark background in her navy blue dress and tall black boots, amazingly not in high heels for once and a small backpack over her shoulder.  Simon right behind her carrying a large metal contraption that blinked.

“Welcome to the mission.”  Jace called up to them.

Alec stopped humming, turning towards them.  “Simon does your drone have a camera on it?”

Simon shook his head.  “Sorry.  I did not go all extravagant on my first purchase of a drone and only have the basics on how to control it.”

Alec nodded sharply.  “Good enough.  Lash as many of the orbs to it as you can and see if it will hover.  We mostly just need it to hover long enough to drop the orbs on that.”  He pointed towards the green chunks strewn about the floor and the decapitated body laying half out of the chrysalis.

Jonathan kicked the head across the room where it landed upright near Alec, sightless eyes staring at them.

Simon eyed the head and crouched down with Izzy to begin doing as instructed.  “You are buying me a new drone after this.”  He glanced up at Jace and Alec.  “Both of you, because I blame both of you for this.”

A couple test runs and they discovered the drone could awkwardly carry two of the three remaining orbs Izzy had in the lab when Alec had called her.

Jace saw Izzy keep shooting a strange glance towards Jonathan, who had resumed humming the song Alec had been humming earlier.

“Why is the new kid here?”  Izzy demanded as Simon made final adjustments.

Jonathan grinned, scooping up the bundle of roots and stabbed the heart off the floor with one of the sticks.  “Boss told me to be here.  Thus I am here.”  He gave a mocking bow towards Alec waving the impaled heart to the side.  “Mission parameters.  Don’t suppose a skull or a bundle of roots will suffice.”  He leapt from his rock to the outcropping back up the tunnel.

Jace eyed the drone as it began to make an increasingly louder whirring metallic sound bordering on a screech.  “I don’t think your toy is going to last long.  Let’s get out of here.  Send it to hover over the green chunks over there.”  Jace pointed them out for Simon, even with all the rubble it was obvious what the target would be.

Jonathan took off up the tunnel with his bundle of sticks, black hair vanishing quickly.

“I see why you need to drag him with you.  He needs a lot of work.”  Izzy informed her brother tossing her backpack over her shoulders.

Jace leapt up onto the outcropping next.  “Alright, Izzy, Alec, get to the surface.  Simon and I will get the drone in place.”

Simon had already started carefully controlling the drone over to the drop point with a box held in his hands that held joysticks.

Jace had to admit it was interesting and useful, he might invest in one himself.

Izzy moved back towards the tunnel quickly.

Alec stared for a moment longer back at that green chrysalis with a frown.  “I’m staying.”

The drone gave another loud whine of metal, tilting dangerously to the side.

“Get your ass up the tunnel.”  Jace snapped at him.  “Simon drop the payload and run.”  Jace ordered, reaching down to Alec and hauling him up from the ground level to the outcropping they all hovered on.

Alec stayed until the drone hovered over the green shattered chunks of the chrysalis before spinning and bolting up the stairs.

Activating speed and agility runes with a thought.  “Now!”  Jace shouted at Simon.

Simon hit something on the control to make the drone lower itself towards the ground before turning and sprinting up the tunnel with Jace.

Jace had no idea what to expect behind them, did not really want to stick around to find out either.  As he and Simon sprinted into the organ room a deep rumble traveled up through his legs signaling the explosion behind them.

_Faster._

Jace grabbed Simon’s arm and launched himself across the room in one leap dragging Simon with him.  They both half crashed, half stumbled onto the next set of stairs.

_Run faster._

They made it a few more steps before the cold wash of magic tore through the tunnel, spilling into the organ room and traveling up the stairs behind them in an icy rush that crystalized the hairs on Jace’s arm.

Move.

_Get out._

Pelting through the winding rubble of the building Jace launched himself over a series of rubble, spotting the window they had crawled through earlier.  He could feel that cold magic seeping into his boots, freezing his skin.

Simon sprinted behind him just as quickly, his time spent as a vampire apparently had increased his endurance and natural speed.

“Window!”  Jace yelled, launching himself towards it and bringing his arms in front of his face as he hit the glass shattering it, shards snagging on the leather of his jacket and tearing at his pants.  Simon directly behind him.

Rounding the corner of the building Jace stumbled to a halt.

They made it, barely.

Jonathan and Alec were both clearly in the midst of some heated, whispered argument.

Izzy hollered for Jace and Simon to come to her, holding the last remaining orb in her hand and setting a sensor down in front of her.

She promptly stabbed Simon in the leg when they drew close wrapping both the orb and the Sensor to his leg while he shouted a curse at her.  Izzy looked over at Jace concern etched across her face.  “Why didn’t you just jump in the organ like I did?”

_Didn’t think of it._

“Running.  Lots of running.”  Jace panted checking over his legs, he thought he had felt the cold power wash through, but could see nothing abnormal.

“Busy running for our lives.”  Simon huffed from the ground, hands prodding at his leg and hovering near the orb cautiously.

Jonathan slammed the stabbed heart into the ground with a shout.  “You are the weapon!  You are a fool to not take it!”  He yelled at Alec.

“You are an arrogant, angry child!”  Alec shouted back at Jonathan.  “I trusted you to build a life!  Not destroy what I gave you!”

Jace could see both Izzy and Simon beginning to rise to the defense of Alec not understanding Nathan was Jonathan.

“You are a destroyer!”  Jonathan shouted back.  “Can you not see that?  We’re the same, you and I.”

Alec froze before clenching his jaw tight.  “We are nothing alike.”  He hissed lowly.

Jonathan laughed, throwing his head back and turning around arms stretched out.  “No?”  He dropped his arms.  “I would have destroyed so much more than you.”  He growled.

“That’s the Head of the Institute you are talking to like that, Nathan.  You’ve been here less than a month.  Watch it.”  Izzy hissed in warning, bringing her arm down with her snake bracelet in a threat.

“Shut up.  All of you.”  Jace snapped yanking the arrow out of the ground.  “Whatever this is.”  He waved the heart slightly.  “Let’s bring it back to the lab.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

They had brought it back to the Institute, setting off several alarms just from walking in the door with it and now had Meliorn, Izzy, and a Silent Brother along with several other staff members working on uncovering the properties of the Unseelie heart.

Simon kept scratching at his legs until Jace had sent him to the infirmary where he had been quarantined.

Jace now sat at the piano when things had calmed down somewhat playing through a sad song he memorized.  Notes flowing slower than needed.

Simon was hurt.

A few more notes rang through the air.

Izzy was lied to.

More notes sang sadly in the room.

Jonathan wanted Alec to destroy…

Jace slammed his hands down on the keys hard.

And Alec was his parabati, lost in choices.

_And I am a shadowhunter, unworthy of that title now._

“Thought I might find you here.”  Alec said from the doorway not quite entering yet.

Jace wiped his hand across his eyes, removing any trace of wetness that may have been building there before looking up.

“Jace, talk to me.”

Jace scoffed at that, half rolling his eyes.  “Why because you tell me so much of what you go through.”

Alec stiffened slightly but made no move to enter the room still leaning against the doorjamb.  “You helped me.  It was because of you I did not take it.”

Jace shot him a sideways look attempting to determine how much of that truth he could trust.  “And next time?”

Alec rubbed at his right arm.  “Depends what the stakes are.”  Gaze never wavering from Jace.

_That was not an answer._

Evasive, slipping through his fingers every time he reached for him.

Jace stretched out for the parabati bond feeling the normal warmth flowing through it informing him that Alec was alive and his soul there inside him.

“My parabati is suicidal.”  Jace gave a derisive laugh.  “Just throwing your life away, huh.”  Jace said bitterly before surging to his feet coming at Alec with clenched fists.  “What about me?  What do you think you dying will do to me?”  He hissed angrily.

“I went through that!”  Alec returned and drew up to his full height.  “I need you!  I used it to save you!  And I would do it again every time so long as you lived.”

Jace froze, freezing in his approach to Alec staring at the tension in his eyes.

Alec had said similar words before, Jace knew the cost just had not acknowledged the continued cost after that.

_I said similar words…_

“Alec…I need you too.”  Jace whispered.

Alec moved forward to touch Jace’s hands, the moment he did the tension eased out of Jace’s balled fists.

“I can’t fix anything.  I can barely fix myself.”  Jace said bitterly followed by a ragged laugh.  “I can’t even fix you.”

“Don’t do that.  No single person can fix anything.”  Alec slide his hands up until he held Jace’s face between his palms gently.  “Our world is always broken.  Nothing will ever change that.  Yet you guided me enough to help me fix myself.”

Jace let out a breath at that reaching up to pull Alec down to him until their foreheads met.  “No I didn’t.  Just look at you.”

Alec smiled gently at that.  “I do.  Every time I see myself in a mirror, every time I see you and realize I have my soul, I have a body, and I owe all of it because I gave everything to you.”

Jace drew back slightly, incredulous at the statement and refusing to shed any more tears.  “I walked away from you.”  He stated bluntly needing to see some anger in Alec’s gaze, something to eviscerate the feeling lodged in his chest.

It did not arrive, instead Alec’s gaze shifted to something sadder yet softer.

“And you did it for my own good.  I don’t know how you knew I would not leave the Institute by doing that but it worked.”  Alec replied.

Jace shook his head.  “I didn’t.”

“You understood me better than you realized.”  Alec pulled him into a hug, burying his face against Jace’s shoulder.  “Stay with me.”

Jace slid his hand up Alec’s arm to grip the nape of his neck.

_Always._

Both letting the silence fall around them for the moment.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The Institute’s lights burned an iridescent white light across the training floor, dark tiles and mats along the floor absorbing that light in a flash.  Jace passed his stele across the panel to activate the lights pushing the darkness back into the corners.

The room felt barren with no one else training.

Jace felt a small ripple of surprise when he realized he actually missed the sounds of the others training, years ago he had sought the isolation of only himself or Alec to train.

“Jace?”  Max’s small voice echoed through the room as he wandered in carrying a small silver chain.

The item he had used to track Jace here.

Jace pushed away from the light panel turning towards Max.  “Yeah, whats up?”  He asked crossing his arms and tossing a smile on his face.

“I came to say goodbye.” Max said, shifting on his feet.

Jace shook his head slightly in confusion.  “Why?”

“Dad enlisted me in a new program to train elite soldiers.  I have to get a parabati before I can complete the training entirely, but I’m letting you know I’ll be leaving the Institute for a bit.”  Max shifted on his feet again a shirt with the emblem of the Lightwood crest in a small patch on the sleeve, a small letter L with a flame.

Jace felt another jolt of loss go through him.

“You sure you want to leave the Institute for this program?  New York has a great trainer I hear.”  Jace replied with a charismatic grin.

Max excelled at the Academy and would excel in this new program as well, but Jace would still miss training him.

Max rolled his brown eyes.  “You?  You’re ok.  I guess.  But it’s still weird to take orders from Alec.”  Max’s eyes widened for a moment.  “Don’t tell him I said that.”

Jace chuckled lightly.  “I won’t.”

Max shifted on his feet again.  “Um…don’t tell him but mom and dad argued about this.  You know how they get.”

Jace only knew a portion of it.  Maryse and her husband’s marriage had always been strained and it became even more strained with each decision Maryse took to stand by her children rather than the Clave while her husband chose the Clave.  This had led to the divorce that had occurred the same summer he met Clary.

Jace reached out a hand to clap it on Max’s shoulder.  “At least they still talk.  Might not be the best talking but they still share plans about how to raise you.  That has to count for something.”

Max glanced down shamefully.  “I guess…I just want to get better at being a shadowhunter.  It took Alec and Izzy saving my butt in that nest and I…couldn’t do anything.”  He glanced back up at Jace brown eyes blazing with determination and excitement.  “This new program is supposed to train us how to handle multiple demons at once and greater demons.”

The greater demon comment perked Jace’s interest.

“Hell, I might be interested in training for that.”  Jace said.  “What’s it called?”

Max shrugged easily.  “Project Sacred.”

_Never heard of it._

“One of dad’s friend’s suggested to enroll me.”  He pouted.  “They apparently wanted you, but dad didn’t think you would go for it.”

Curiosity piqued him.  “Tell your dad I’d be interested, at least to hear about it first before enrolling.”  Jace told him.

“Sure.  I’ll let him know.”  Max handed him the chain he had used to track him with and waved goodbye and scampered from the room.  “I have to find Alec now.  I already spoke to Izzy.”  Max paused.  “Is everything ok?  Izzy seemed upset…and so do you.”

Jace sent him the best calm and reassuring smile he could plaster on his face.  “Rough mission.  We’ll all be ok.”

Max nodded in understanding and it twisted Jace’s heart knowing just why Max understood that now.

Glancing down at the chain Jace realized it was the chain he used to use to hold the Herondale ring.  He had replaced it with a blue cord stupidly thinking the small bit of blue would bring some luck.

_Blue for when the lost return._

Jace unhooked the blue cord around his neck and replaced it again with the metal chain sliding the ring back onto its original chain.

His lost parabati had never really been lost just stuck inside him.  Now Jace was the one lost and he could not even put a mental finger on why he felt that way.

He dropped the blue cord in the trash before taking up his spot at the punching bag and began his warm up.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace awoke from sleep with a start, gut clenching hard in preparation to empty itself.  He rolled himself out of bed and bolted to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him, and barely managing to make it to the toilet before emptying the contents of his stomach into the bowl.

“Jace?”  Alec’s voice called through the bathroom door.

Jace crouched on the floor a moment letting his gut decide for him if it was safe to stand up or not.

“Jace, let me in.”  Alec said through the door.

His stomach roiled again but he did not puke again.

Eventually Jace decided he could stand without being sick again.  Slowly standing up and grabbing some mouthwash.

Reaching out and swinging the door open, Alec froze partway into a crouch shoulder positioned towards the door.

Jace raised an eyebrow at the stance.  “Thought breaking into the bathroom was just my thing.”  He said and swished some of the mouthwash around his mouth removing the taste of vomit.

“You didn’t answer.  You ok?”  Alec said scanning Jace’s face and body.

_Gut clenching terror of friends dying, panic of Maryse or Clary turning us in, Jonathan doing Angel knows what, a Seelie Queen that wants to rape me._

Jace spat the mouthwash out in the sink.  “You lied to Izzy.”  Jace replied rather than drag up the entire list of crap his body apparently now wanted to physically expel.

Alec had the decency to appear ashamed at that, but continued to look Jace over reaching out a hand to touch his forehead with the back of his hand for a moment before sliding to his neck and checking his pulse.

Jace batted his hand away.  “I’m fine.”  He went to close the door again only for Alec’s hand to catch the door before he closed it.

“Do you want me to tell her?  I would be putting her at risk.”  Alec said.

Jace growled clenching his teeth.  “We already put her at risk by knowing about us.  What difference does it make if she knows about Jonathan?”

Alec watched him for a moment, dark gaze piercing him in a way that made Jace think he was searching for more than just the problems of Izzy and Jonathan in his eyes.

“What do you see?”  Jace asked into the silence that had built up that penetrating stare reached to deep.

“You.  Do you trust me, parabati?”

Jace shoved out of the bathroom.  “Of course.”  He said it out of habit only to freeze when Alec wrapped his arms around him, sliding one hand down across his stomach to land on their parabati rune.

A heated pulse traveled through his body in a slow spiral that seemed to arch down into his legs, warming the numb feeling that had settled there since he and Simon had jumped through the glass window pane.

“I’ll talk to Izzy about it.”  Alec said into his ear before dropping his hand away.

Some of the pressure and guilt Jace held eased off at the statement.

A few minutes after Alec had called Izzy to come to his room she arrived.  Dark circles and a clearly worried expression.

_Simon._

“How’s he doing?”  Jace asked sprawled out on the bed, she had perched herself on Alec’s bed ignoring the rumpled sheets.

Izzy twisted her snake bracelet around her wrist.  “They brought Magnus in to pull the magic from him.  It was warping his angelic power.  Brother Zachariah is down there too.”  She glanced over at her brother.  “Did you know Magnus knew Brother Zachariah before?”

Alec shook his head in the negative pulling out his desk chair and spinning it around so he could sit facing Izzy.

Jace shot Alec a pointed look, one Izzy immediately picked up on.

“What did you two do now?”  She questioned with a wave of her hand, dropping her head back in exasperated exhaustion.

“Jonathan is alive.”  Alec dropped the bomb flatly.

Izzy’s head whipped back up fast enough Jace could hear the crack in her neck from where he stood.  “What!?”

“Least you can still surprise her.”  Jace pointed out with a small smile.

Izzy’s eyes narrowed on her brother.  “This was that thing that Jace knew that I didn’t.”

Oddly Alec stiffened at that.  “That is different.”

Jace spun his stele in his hands, eyeing Alec’s strange reaction.

“So he does not know what your phrase means.”  Izzy sweetly said clearly seeing the opening to decimate her brother.

“Neither do you.”  Alec stated flatly.  “Jonathan is Nathan.”

That brought her up short, eyes going wide and mouth hanging open stunned before crossing her arms across her chest.  “Explains the attitude problem.”

“No shit.”  Jace agreed.  “Izzy what’s the thing I should know about?”

“His barometer of sanity.”  Izzy replied with a hand wave towards Alec, devilish smile growing as if she realized something neither of them understood.

“My sanity is Jace, back off.”  Alec snapped harshly.

A stunned feeling hit Jace like a sledgehammer.  He had called Alec out on that shortly after he had been released from the cell and Alec had exploded in violence.

_I should have listened to my gut when he first was released from that cell._

Izzy leaned over to grab one of the water bottles on Alec’s bedside cracking it open and sniffing at the water to see if it was still good, wrinkling her nose at whatever she found and putting the lid back on without taking a sip.  “Well, that’s new.  You said it was for power last time which made sense in the texts.”

“What changed?”  Jace asked, even though he felt he already knew the answer.

Alec looked over at him, dark heated gaze spearing him into place.  “I made a choice.  That choice is you and I intend to hold to that until the day you die.”

Izzy smirked at her brother.  “And here I thought you were a social retard when it came to relationships.”

Alec’s gaze went from heated to flat in a nanosecond swinging towards Izzy.  “I dated one other person and…”  He trailed off, color draining from his face.

“I’ll date you.”  Jace hastily spat the words out before he could think through them or realize the implications of Izzy sitting there watching the awkwardness unfold.

Alec’s gaze snapped to his, leaving him feeling dizzy at the thought there might be a name to this thing they had never dared put a label on.

Izzy glanced between them both.  “You two have been screwing around for half a year and never thought you were dating.  What the hell did you think you were doing?  Practicing?”  She started snickering before waving off the thought.  “Ok, but seriously.  Jonathan, why is he alive?  How?”

Jace kept his face blank as Izzy’s comment brought up both heated passion and cold arguments that somehow usually ended in heat anyway.

Alec leaned back in his chair clasping his hands together.  “I enlisted Magnus’s assistance to house him, we brought Jonathan in as planned, used a few illegal drugs and spells to make him appear dead and swapped him out with a cadaver which I burned.”

“You switched a body in front of the entire Clave?”  Jace asked aghast.

Alec grimaced.  “It was a rather stressful day.  I mostly provided distraction and you know how much I hate being the distraction.”

“And why _is_ he alive?”  Jace beat Izzy to that avoided question.

Alec dropped his gaze from both of them to stare at the floor, shifting in his chair with a soft rustle of clothing.  “I told him I would give him a second chance at life.  I gave him that chance.”

_“I trusted you to build a life.”_

Alec’s angry voice yelled at Jonathan when he and Jonathan had argued.

Jace untangled himself from the sheets and moved over to Alec.  “And does he still have this chance?”  Jace questioned crouching down before Alec.

Alec swallowed hard, raising his eyes to look directly into Jace’s heterochromia orbs.  “Yes.”

“Don’t make me lose you to him.”  Jace whispered quietly so only Alec could hear.

Alec’s gaze flitted across Jace’s face.  “You will never lose me.”  He reached out to touch the parabati rune at Jace’s side.  “There are times I want to…”

_Travel back into the parabati rune._

Jace had begun to suspect that with Alec’s obsession with touching it during sex, the constant need to flush their souls against each other in an intricate lock until he could not discern one from the other.

Jace licked his lips gaze dropping to Alec’s and back up, registering the heat building.

“I think you owe me something.”  Izzy announced with a Cheshire grin forming across her face.  “Like an entire day spent at the fanciest spa in New York.  Simon has to come with me.”  She eyed them both.  “I’m debating about including you both in this torture or if the money it will cost will suffice.”

“The money is fine.”  Alec agreed not realizing as Jace immediately had that the single statement just gave Izzy full rein to now include them.

She squealed, making Jace grit his teeth and Alec flinch.  “Excellent then you both get to come with too.”  She paused leaning towards them slowly.  “If you don’t come I’ll tell the new recruits how you both sing like girls.”

Jace growled, searching her face for intent to send that bit of gossip through the Institute.  “I don’t sing like a girl.  I don’t sing.  Period.”

Alec stared at his sister with narrowed eyes.  “Do.  Not.  Blackmail.  Me.”

Izzy pretended to shiver, smirking at her brother.  “Hanging Jace over your head worked wonders to get you to stay put.”

Jace gaped at Izzy before looking at Alec.  “You believed she would toss us to the wolves that night?”  He questioned Alec.

“Yes.”  Alec bit out shoulders tense again.

Jace smiled because her “blackmail” had allowed him to paint Alec in gold.  “Could paint you again.  It relaxed you.”  Jace pointed out, running a hand down Alec’s arm.

Alec looked away from both of them, a faint sheen of red forming across his face.

A golden memory floated through Jace’s head.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

She could still smell the ozone in the air and something like burnt hair when she pushed into Simon’s infirmary room.  He appeared exhausted from the treatment to get the infinitesimal cold magic out of his feet and calves.

_Not sure why Jace was not affected…_

Izzy set the putrid gold shirt and ugly pants on the bedside table.  Simon had requested she bring the ugliest things she could find from his room because he could easily throw them out after soiling his other clothes during the procedure.

She smiled internally.  He could handle the pain of the Mark of Cain, could handle the change from vampire to Shadowhunter, but dragging icy magic from him he lost it.

Her strong warrior, geek.

“Thanks, Izzy.”  Simon said from the bed, face pale and shaky after several treatments from Magnus, the medics, and a Silent Brother.  “I’m starting to understand why people hate medics and doctors.  I mean when I was a mundane it was not so bad, but these guys do not mess around.  I’ve had stuff stuck in me more times and in more places than I ever wanted to know about.”  Simon ranted.

Izzy smiled before handing him the last item she had grabbed from his room.

“My Gameboy!”  Simon took it gratefully.  “You have no idea how boring it can get laying in a medical bed.  Actually you probably do.  Anyway, this thing was the only gaming console the magic around here did not break down in a smoldering burst of flame when I turned it on the first time.”

“Yeah, technology is fickle around magic.  Cell phones work, our advanced computers integrated with magic work, but regular mundane consoles do not.”  She said checking over his chart even though she could only understand parts of it, working in the morgue was useful but all of those bodies usually stayed dead.

What she could understand all seemed positive.

Simon’s cell phone began ringing, she saw him glance at it briefly before doing a double take and snatching it up to answer, holding up a hand for Izzy to wait.

“Hey Jenny.  It’s been-“ Simon stopped talking, face paling as he listened to the other person.  “Ok, ok, slow down.  I’ll get Alec to transfer you to the New York Institute or-“  He fell silent for a while longer listening. “OK, I’ll have Clary come get you.  Where are you?”

Simon waved at Izzy to give him paper and pen.

She grabbed some from the nearby table and handed them to him as he jotted down a town she recognized as one near Alicante in Idris, just outside its borders.

A few minutes later and Simon ended the call.

“That was one of my Sight mundanes that chose to drink from the Cup to become a Shadowhunter.  She says she was recruited to a new task force with her parabati and they sent her parabati into a Hell Realm.  She felt her die today.  Izzy, they’ve apparently been doing this to all the recruits in her group.  Has Alec ever mentioned something called Project Sacred?”

Izzy’s heart froze.  She knew that name.  Her little brother was joining that project.

_I just said goodbye to him a few hours ago._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Clary?”  Jonathan called through her door.

He pounded on her door loudly.

“Clary!”

He had done good.  He had killed the beast.  Yet Alec still argued with him to become what that chrysalis could have made him into.

_And you can control it easily, Alec._

“Clary!”

He punched the door with his fist in anger.

A moment later it opened with a pissed looking red head glaring at him.

“It is 2:00 in the morning, Nathan.  What the hell?”  Clary spat out at him.

“I…”

_Something she would react to._

“Simon is in the infirmary.  I went on a mission.  Simon got infected from the blast.  It’s not much and he’ll be fine, but it was a chrysalis.”  Jonathan informed her.

At Simon’s name Clary swung the door fully open letting him in while she ran back to pull a hoodie over her nightshirt, with a quick glance down at her sweatpants deeming them good enough.  Before starting towards the infirmary.

“Wait.”  Jonathan grabbed her arm.  He did not care about Simon’s status but he needed her attention to talk to him.  “I made a bad call and now Alec won’t trust me.  Clary how do you gain someone’s trust back?”  He asked desperately because she was his sister and he could not go to Magnus about this.  Magnus would deduce he had tried to intentionally infect Alec and frankly he was not stupid enough to become roast Nephilim.

Clary looked at him confused, before loping her arm around his to pull him further down the hallway.  “People make mistakes, Nathan.  Just ask him to forgive you.  Alec might be…difficult.  But he takes the safety of this Institute seriously.”

Jonathan snorted.  “Difficult might be an understatement.  I tried stabbing him.”

Clary stopped walking to gape at him openly.  “Why?”  She shrieked.

Jonathan shrugged glancing down the hall where he saw Izzy sprinting back up only to slam into Alec’s door and begin pounding on it.  “Alec!  They are going to send Max into a hell realm!”

He saw Clary tense and immediately felt his irritation rise at losing her attention because of Izzy and Max.

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.”  He answered Clary’s question, keeping an eye on Izzy as that door swung open, watching as Alec’s face went stony and there.

Violence lurked.

Jonathan smiled, he would be forgiven, all he had to do was take out the threat to Alec.

“Murni.”  He called.

Alec’s gaze snapped towards Jonathan as Jace slid out of the room behind him speaking to Izzy.  Alec raised a hand to him.  “No.  I’m not bringing you into a hellish realm with me.”  His gaze shifted to Clary.  “I need you to portal Izzy and Nathan to a location in Idris to locate a school there.  I need data and files first, then get the students out.  I cannot fight this thing unless I have proof.”

Jonathan’s smile dropped off his face.  Not from the order but the fleeting feeling of relief he felt to not return to one of those places.  He gripped the blade at his side.

“What thing?”  Clary demanded, gaze shooting to Jace.

Izzy answered.  “There’s a Project the Clave had started running to send shadowhunters into various hellish realms to try and replicate what Alec did.  They are all dying.”  Her voice trembled on the next phrase.  “They have Max.”

“Excellent.  What do I need to kill?”  Jonathan asked Alec.

“You are staying at Magnus’s and not moving.”  Alec told him sternly, gaze flickering across Jonathan’s face briefly, a hesitation in his decision.  “You really want to return to a Hell realm?  We might need to find it again.”

Edom was destroyed and his soul had a nice attachment in paper form wherever Magnus had hidden it away.

His soul was safe from Lilith and any other greater demon.

Jonathan smiled deviously.  “Pain means you are alive.  Let’s go see just how much more.”

Alec tightly nodded, once.

“Wait, Insane Asshole is coming with?”  Jace snapped gripping Alec’s arm.  “Alec…”

Clary’s lip quirked up at the horrible nickname.

Alec’s gaze turned towards Jace sparking in a clash even Jonathan could see.  “You both are excellent at subterfuge when you put your mind to it.”  Alec informed Jace.  “But frankly Nathan is better at stealth than you and I need you with me.”

Jace eyed Jonathan.  “You are such a great friend to my parabati.”  He said sarcastically.  “Alec you owe me.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Clary’s portal to the location Simon had given them ended up being in the middle of nowhere, with two large buildings.

Jace moved with Alec silently through the small compound popping open the window to the offices while Jonathan, Izzy, and Clary went to portal those who wanted to leave back to the Institute.

Jace had doubted about how many shadowhunters were willing to throw their lives away for perceived glory and fame not realizing the cost.

He chanced a glance at Alec who was abnormally tense.

_About as tense as I feel._

Jace rolled a shoulder trying to ease some of the tension this mission was inducing in him.

_Should never have let Max walk out._

But there was no way he could have known and on the bright side Max had not chosen a parabati yet.

_Something they cannot force anyway because the bond would just fail._

It occurred to Jace then that the Clave had been selecting shadowhunters with a parabati bond to match Alec.  Trying to replicate what he had done down to a science.

_Idiots._

Jace pulled one filing cabinet open while Alec pulled another open and they began rifling through it taking photos and evidence as they went.

The short range comm in his ear Izzy had handed them all gave a brief burst of static before Izzy’s voice confirmed they had located the asleep recruits.

They had needed to wait an entire day to move because when they had actually been ready everyone here would have been awake at the time.  And Jace was silently grateful for that otherwise he never would have slept since that stupid green chrysalis.

Jace drew a silent deep breath, before letting it out as he continued to flip through evidence, he flipped open one file marked confidential and inhaled sharply.

Alec’s head came up from where he was searching.

“What is it?”  Alec whispered.

Jace took a photo of that sheet, flipping to the next sheet a numb feeling entering his system and snapping another photo.  “It’s the list of all the shadowhunters they sent in there already.  The ones that did not come out and their parabati bond broke.”  Jace whispered back.

_There are at least fifty names in here._

Fifty people thrown to die within a year for an experiment.  The Clave was chewing through people like human fodder.

“I swear I’m going to end up needing an ambassador to the Clave soon and just break New York from them entirely.”  Muttered Alec taking more pictures of evidence, before his head snapped up and turned south.

“Alec?”

Alec scowled.  “They’re opening one now.  I feel it in the ground.”  Alec hissed moving towards the door.

_Shit._

“Damage control?”  Jace racked his brain on how to close a portal without Magnus.

_Clary._

“Clary might be able to do something with it.”  Jace clicked his comm on.  “Clary.  Once you get those recruits out, head south.  Alec thinks a portal is opening now and we’re hoping you can come up with a rune to close it in time.”

A burst of static later.

_“Affirmative.”_

Her voice clipped through.

Jace tried to look at the comm in his ear fruitlessly.  Apparently she was still pissed at him but willing to do the mission for the sake of Max and the other souls.

“Let’s go be distractions while they finish that job.”  Jace informed Alec.

“No.  Get the data back to the Institute first.  Give it to Izzy first if you need to and meet me south.”  Alec ordered handing over the small camera he had been using to take photos before gripping his shoulder tightly.  “Jace there are people counting on us to save them from a fate worse than death.”

Lilith and her minions of possessions flashed through Jace’s mind.

Jace did not need to be told again.  He turned and hopped back out the window without another glance intent on his mission and sticking to the shadows until he reached Izzy and Clary.  No Jonathan.

“Where’s Max?”  Jace asked dropping into the window beside them as Clary opened her portal for several more recruits to travel through.  Only a few remained.

“Max was among the first to get portaled back to the Institute.”  Izzy replied appearing much calmer now that she knew where her little brother was, her whip lay coiled at her feet though signaling a fight had taken place to get the recruits out.

Clary sent him a short look before weaving her next portal for the remainder of recruits.  “Nathan took off when some of the trainers arrived.  Pretty sure he killed them and left us.”

Jace grit his teeth at that.

“I hate his flying solo bullshit.”  Jace muttered.

_Hate Alec’s solo bullshit more._

Izzy rolled her eyes at that.  “Like you did?”

_Pfft.  No, I never did that._

He had done it every second of every day the entire time he was with Clary.

“Yeah well he needs a leash.”  Jace commented handing Izzy all the evidence.  “Take all that back to the Institute it is how we can shut this place down.”

“Affirmative.”  Izzy said taking the items.  “Clary send me through.”

Once Izzy had vanished Jace glanced over at Clary and her red hair, awkwardness formed in his gut.

_When was the last time they had had a civil conversation?_

“Come on.  Let’s finish this mission and get out of here.”  Jace said spinning on the balls of his feet and leaping back out the window to land on the ground, moving south and scanning for movement.

The opening to the hellish realm was easy to spot, bright red light emitting up into the air faintly reflecting and shimmering through the air guiding anyone for miles around towards its red glow.

Arriving a few minutes later with Clary was pure chaos.

Jonathan was moving between the Clave members like water slicing both them and the demons that flew out of the portal down, arrows flew from the dark.

_Alec._

One young man was begging and pleading from a chained position for someone to come back, with horror Jace realized he was pleading for his parabati to return to him from that portal in the ground.

Jace sprinted over to the man first using his stele to break the chains holding him down.

“Look at me.  Kid.  Look at me.”  Jace ordered the man.  He might be older than Jace but between the terror and fear he looked younger as well.  It did not matter anyway.  “I’m here to help you.”  Nothing seemed to sink into the man’s brain, hand clutched at his chest covering bare skin.  “I’m a parabati.”

That finally got the man to look at Jace, dark eyes wide with fear.  “They set him on the other side and just dropped him in.  It burned.  It burned.”  He was rocking back and forth now.  “They said we would protect our world, together.”

Jace glanced around noting more demons spiraling out and that portal certainly was not closing.  Clary stood near him and the man taking out any demon that came to close and Jonathan gleefully spun through the battle like a rabid beast practically laughing.  One arrow slammed into a demon that crawled towards Jace.

“Clary!”  Jace shouted.  “See if you can close that rift!”

Jace launched himself into the fray, cleaving through the demons with both seraph blades until none remained.  A pause in the storm.

Jonathan crouched next to Clary now that the steady stream of demons had paused and he had run out of things to slaughter, the steady stream of arrows had also stopped.

The other man Jace had freed crawled over to the edge staring down into the abyss like he might follow his parabati.  Jace understood his sentiment and scrambled to pull the man back before they lost another to the depths of hell.

The dark haired man howled in agony as Jace pulled the kicking and screaming man away from the edge.

Jace was tempted to just knock him out, yet sympathy for being unable to sense the moment he lost his parabati stopped him.

“Jace!  It’s not closing!  I can’t find the correct rune.”  Called Clary still drawing another rune in the air and pushing her hand forward, blasting it towards the open red portal in the ground only for that rune to fizzle out into nothing.

Jace spotted movement on the far side of that red portal to a hellish dimension as Alec walked from the tress slinging his bow back up on his back.

Jace ignited his seraph blade leaping across that chasm to slam into Alec before he got any closer, feeling the clash as Alec’s blade met his in a heated clash.

“Get back.”  Jace ordered.

He could hear Jonathan shouting at Clary some pep talk behind him, but ignored it in favor of watching his parabati whose eyes had gone wide in shock from Jace’s attack.

Alec’s face went blank recovering from the surprise.  “It needs to close Jace.”  Alec said devoid of emotion.

Jace paced before Alec cutting off any chance he had to reach that red portal behind him, activating his angel blood with a thought letting his eyes turn golden.  “Wait for Clary to find the right rune...We can call Magnus…”  Jace pleaded stubbornly.

Alec shook his head.  “Not enough time.  You know that.”

The dark haired man’s howling and crying stopped suddenly and Jace watched Alec stiffen in surprise at whatever happened behind him.

Jace chanced a glance back, feeling his gut clench in regret and pity.

The man had fallen on his own sword, arm still stretched towards that portal, towards his other half.

_Two parabati dead._

More to be added to the list of bloodshed the Clave had made a mockery of the parabati bond with this project.

Alec chose that single glance Jace shot behind him to advance in an attack, swinging his arm up towards Jace’s jaw with the pommel of his blade to crack against his jaw.

Jace tilted his head back and turned his body just enough to avoid the hit, feeling the swish of air as the blow passed his face.  He retaliated by kicking Alec in one knee forcing him off balance catching him around the throat with his other hand and slamming him back into the ground straddling him in a heartbeat.

“You’re really stubborn.”  Jace said down to Alec intentionally pressing his hand further against his neck slowly cutting off his air supply.

Alec snarled at him, bucking underneath him to throw him off.  Jace locked his legs around Alec to keep himself astride him using his weight to keep him pinned.

Jace did not give away the surprise in how easy it had been to pin Alec.

_You hesitated._

Alec let out a choked gasp from the pressure Jace applied to his neck.

The heat behind Jace faded as one of Clary’s runes finally activated and worked.

Jace leaned down to Alec’s ear.  “You think I don’t know what your intentions are, parabati.”   He pressed the seraph blade against Alec’s side directly over their rune, his hand shook from his own threat to their bond.

Alec took the threat directly and rolled them to the side to protect the rune, breaking Jace’s hold and rolling to his feet blade slashing out towards Jace.

Jace grabbed his second seraph blade from his belt and caught Alec’s blade between both of his own seraph blades, turning slightly and swinging one blade across Alec’s ribs.

His parabati rune gave a pulse of heat from the hit.

A flash of metal to Jace’s right spun through the air, he deflected it with one of his blades sending the metal knife skittering across the scorched ground.

“Pure one.  Idiot.  Portal is closed.”  Jonathan called twirling another metal knife between his fingers as Clary bent over beside him gasping for breath from her attempts to close the rift.

Alec deactivated his blade, sliding one of the sharp metal arrows back into his quiver.

Neither spoke as they joined Jonathan and Clary for the return portal back to the Institute.

Maryse along with a small army of medics was waiting for them.  Most already working through paperwork and checking vitals on the others that had been sent.  Jace could see Underhill, the head of security, assigning people places to sleep, that would apparently be the cafeteria until he had everyone sorted out.

“Nathan…what you said…it helped.”  Clary said quietly.  “Thank you.”

Nathan gave her a small nod and a smile, before glancing at Alec.  “Am I forgiven?”

Alec huffed out a derisive laugh, tilting his head back eyes sliding to Jonathan.  “Yeah…”

Jace turned and walked away from the group.  Done with that mission and needing to locate Max before he could deal with Alec again.

He located Max in the cafeteria sitting on a sleeping bag with Izzy and looking dejected and insecure.

Jace crouched down before the two of them.  “Hey, Max.  I hear you helped get everyone out.”

He had not heard anything, but felt like the boy needed a bit of positive reinforcement right now.  Finding out your awesome new training facility was a graveyard probably did not sit well in anyone’s minds.

Max glanced up at Jace, insecurity dropping away quickly as only a child could manage.  “Yeah, I convinced most of the ones that wanted to stay to come with as well.”

“Mom already has a team going over all the footage you and Alec took pictures of.”  Izzy said glancing Jace over for injuries noting nothing worthwhile for her concern that could be seen visibly.  “Where’s Alec?”

Jace sighed, sitting down fully and leaning back on his hands.  “With Insane Asshole.”

Izzy’s lips quirked up slightly at that before turning back down.  “Something went wrong.”  She hedged.

Jace slid his gaze over to Izzy.  “He wanted to close the portal.”

“That’s a good thing…right?”  Max said glancing between the two of them attempting to uncover the undertones to the conversation and unable to.

Jace closed his eyes for a moment feeling his parabati rune heat as Alec moved towards them before moving away once he had confirmed they were all alive, but never approaching them.

_Good to everyone but me._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Two weeks later and all the rescued parabati pairs and trainees had been sent on to fill other Institutes still recovering from Jonathan’s massacre.  With an exception for Max who remained and Maryse had been undergoing paperwork to keep Max full time rather than half the year with her and half the year with his father like it had been during their divorce.

For Jace, those fourteen days had been a test of willpower and time.  Willpower because Alec still slept next to him at night and time because Jace hated waiting, all of the reasons centered around a dark haired parabati of his, everything from the choice to not interact with the chrysalis to the decision to close the rift when Clary kept repeatedly failing her rune.

_Thank the Angel she found one that worked._

Unfortunately, that still did not save him from the guilt in attacking Alec or the grief of the gulf of distrust he knew Alec felt he placed on him now. 

He glanced across the Main Ops center where Alec was discussing missions or orders with Maryse, Alec’s gaze flicked towards him by some unseen call before breaking away.

A box landed in Jace’s lap, white and brightly colored.

“It arrived!  Let’s go test it out.”  Simon stated gleefully, he had healed completely with no complications from the wash of magic.  Apparently some of the new concoctions of herbs had worked effectively along with the teamwork of Magnus and the Silent Brother.

Jace glanced back down at the box which housed the new drone he had ordered online per plenty of Simon’s instructions and hovering awkwardly over his shoulder.  Jace had refused to ask for assistance and Simon settled for just pointing at each button he needed to click to navigate his way through the mundane website to order it.  Most he had figured out on his own.

“Sure.  Is Izzy coming?”  Jace asked hefting the box up as he stood.

“No…just Clary.”  Simon chimed sadly and a bit cautiously readjusting some straps on his backpack.

Jace did not pause his step, but it was a near thing.  She had been looking at him with that old longing and kept trying to corner him to talk about the mission, which was the last thing he wanted to do.

“And maybe Nathan…”  Simon said a little less enthused.

Jace stared for a long moment at Simon.  “And why is Insane Asshole suddenly our friend?”

Simon shrugged with a grimace.  “Clary insisted.  I did not particularly want to invite him and we could always just say we could not find him.”

“Right.”  Jace agreed.

Simon texted Clary to meet them in front of the Institute before they headed to a nearby park to test the drone out.

In the park Jace touched one of the joysticks watching at the small drone switched from flying straight to curving around in a wide loop.

“Simon this thing is actually sort of fun.”  Jace told him since it was just the two of them and Clary and Jonathan had yet to arrive.

Simon grinned.  “Told you.  You Shadowhunters need to learn how to have fun once in a while.”  He held up a hand to ward off the immediate complaint.  “The bar and killing things does not count.”

“There’s always training.” _And sex._   Jace commented touching the other joystick to make the drone go into a loop the other direction, just as a gust of wind kicked up.

The drone careened out of control flying to the side, the exact opposite direction he wanted it to go and with a crunch he could swear he could hear even from the large distance between him and the drone it landed in the trees.  High in the trees.

_Fall._

He willed it.

It stubbornly remained stuck in the trees.

“I think you have a death wish for my drones.”  Simon grumbled, standing up from where he had watched it unfold.  “Alec blew mine up and you try and kill it.”

“I’ll climb up there and get it down for you.”  Jace said eyeing the tree.  The first half of the tree would be easy to climb, it was the second half he was unsure would support his weight.

He was halfway up into the tree when he heard two distinct laughs sound out below him.  Clary and Jonathan.

Jace looked up at the stupid drone.

“I blame you for this.”  He told the drone, grasping the next branch and hauling himself higher in the tree, he could hear the branches creaking under his weight and this one threatened to bend fully under his weight.

_Just a little farther._

He chanced a glance down to see if he could just jump the distance.

Nope, not without racking himself on more branches on the way down.

Unfortunately, glancing down also brought Clary and Jonathan’s amused faces into his line of vision.

“Jace, can you reach it?”  Clary called up.

Jonathan leaned over gripping his side clearly failing at even attempting to withhold his mirth at Jace’s predicament.

“I always knew you were an idiot, but this…”  Jonathan could not even finish just pointed up at the branches all threatening to impale Jace.  “Did you not get impaled enough?”  The double meaning not lost on Jace.

_Dumb killer roots and…_

His parabati rune gave a heated pulse at the thought of a more pleasurable idea.

He could hear Simon snicker from below him now that his concentration was on obtaining the stupid drone of mortification.

“Jace, I could try and create a portal and drop you and the drone on the ground.”  Clary called up.

_Not happening._

Jace reached a bit further stepping on a branch that might be able to handle his weight better than the others available, it bent threatening, swaying in the breeze.

“You would risk a Portal dynamic.”  Simon pointed out.  “He would fall for an eternity.”

Jace grabbed the offending drone, tilting dangerously in the tree hanging on with one hand and one foot, other hand still clutched around the drone, other foot held out to keep himself balanced.

_Got it._

The branch he was standing on decided that the few extra pounds of drone was too much and snapped dropping him and the drone through the branches in a crash.

He hit a few smaller branches before catching his arm around a larger branch winding himself on the impact, he clutched the stupid drone under his other arm protectively.

_Seriously, why me…_

Jace could hear a howl of laughter that could only be Jonathan.

Jace groaned and hauled himself up onto the branch that had stopped his immediate welcome to the ground.

“Is the drone ok?”  Simon called up after a moment.

Jace glanced at the drone, one wing was clearly snapped off.  Definitely not ok.  “Maybe.”  He called back down before working his way from branch to branch the rest of the way.

“Jace, your clothes.”  Clary said reaching out to touch a long tear in his shirt.

Jace jerked away from her touch.  “I’m fine.”

Simon gave a pitiful sound of devastation as he inspected the damage.  “You and Alec are no longer around any of my things.”  Simon muttered loudly.  “Both of you have a tendency to blow things up with them or break them.”

Jace shot him a glare.  “Next time I will just let the evil, mean plant impale you to death.”

“I did tell you to use him for it.”  Jonathan said.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace paused in the hallway to the Institute’s main ops center using Simon and Clary as a buffer between the dark form he spotted.  Clary and Simon moved on discussing ways to fix the broken wing of the drone.  Jonathan had parted ways at the park saying he was meeting with a friend.

Alec’s lip quirked up on one side scanning the torn clothing Jace now wore from his battle with the tree and the drone’s mortification plot.

“What happened to you?”  Alec questioned.

“He fought a tree and lost.”  Simon chirped with a grin and walked past him with Clary.

Unfortunately it had the opposite reaction to mirth, Alec tensed coming towards Jace quickly.

“Relax, it was a normal tree.”  Jace said easing past Alec before he gave himself away from that intense look.  Alec’s hand shot out and gripped his bicep halting his movement.

Gazes hitting and glancing off each other in a heated spark.

A thumb traced along the side of Jace’s arm, a silent apology or checking a scratch on his arm.

Alec pulled his lower lip between his teeth for a moment.  “I’m sorry.”  Alec whispered.  “For that choice, that path.”

Jace clenched his jaw, brow creasing.  “Come find me.  I told you I was done chasing.”  He jerked out of his grip and walked away following Simon and Clary back to Simon’s room to work on the drone.

He made it halfway to Simon’s room before needing to stop and press his head against the wall, closing his eyes.

_Damnit._

The lasting impression of Alec against him haunted him and the changed bond did not make being apart easier.

_We swore and oath to each other to be beside each other._

He pushed off the wall continuing down the hallway before anyone took notice of his lapse.

_I see you, Alec.  I feel you.  Now stop being stubborn and come to me._

And Jace knew him well enough that the ability Alec had would always haunt him now unless they continued to play this game.  This chase.  This need.

Jace pushed into Simon’s room shoving the door open, spotting them both sitting on the floor.  Bright red hair turning towards him with a tentative smile, Simon waving him over with an order not to touch anything.

Another person that had lost much in life and had come out on top, her entire family and unknowingly talking to her brother.

And Simon had lost even more.  He had nothing but friendship when he first joined the Shadowworld.

Both managed to smile and laugh.

“Jace you alright?”  Clary asked from the floor smile dropping into concern.

_No, he needed Alec._

Jace smiled his usual cocky grin.  “I’m good.”  He pushed into the room pulling out the chair to straddle it and look down at the pieces Simon and Clary worked on.  “Anything I can do to help repair it.”

“Don’t touch it.”  Simon muttered.

Jace gave him a narrow eyed glare.  “You know I broke it, only right that I fix it.”  He rocked the chair forward slightly inspecting the plastic pieces.  “Maryse wants to give you an award for starting that mission that saved Max.  You could put it up there with all my honorary plaques.”  He said casually.

Simon chuckled.  “Does that go right alongside strip tease?”  Simon continued to set up more of the pieces back into a loose formation of what needed to be glued back together.

Jace felt a smile threatening to form.  “Maybe.  All you did was answer a phone call.  Strip tease and phone calls.  The perfect awards.”

Clary gave them both an irritated glance clearly annoyed at not understanding the inside joke.  “You should come to the club with me and Nathan later.”  Clary said, green eyes studying Jace with an old ache.  “It would be interesting to see you dance.”

A chance to relax, something to take his mind off the need.

“Sure.  I’m sure Simon and Izzy can come too.”  He glanced over at Simon.  “Going to need you two there if I have to put up with Nathan.”

Simon grinned in acknowledgement without looking up from his work reconstructing the drone.

“Why do you hate Nathan so much?”  Clary asked, green eyes focusing on Jace sharply.  “I could understand if it’s some alpha male need because he’s all over Alec.  But you never treated Magnus this way.”

Jace bristled.  “He’s not all over Alec.”  He bit out.

Clary snorted back a laugh.  “He stares at him like he’s a piece of meat.  Honestly, I sort of hoped Alec would go for him since him and Magnus broke up.”

“He’s not Alec’s type.”  Jace snapped with more force than necessary causing her to look at him oddly, before switching tactics completely.

“So what’s your type, Jace?”  Clary asked something both bitter and sweet in the way she spoke.

Simon glanced up briefly towards Jace before duking his head back to his task.

Jace leaned back in the chair off balancing it slightly to pull his stele out and spin it through his fingers.  “Don’t really have a set type.  I’ve been with Seelies, werewolves, red heads, dark haired people, blondes.”  He shrugged with a cocky grin.  “They have to be hot though.”

“What about whoever you were with a couple months ago?”  Clary asked gaze searching his face in a way he recognized as something closer to her demanding answers than real curiosity.

“Uh…”  He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing towards the door, his escape route in about ten seconds.

Movement from Simon’s door swinging open caught his attention more firmly, revealing the single person he could not get out of his head.

“…Alec?”  Jace said surprised to see him there, not noticing Clary’s eyes narrow dangerously until she also spotted him in the doorway.

“You said to come find you.”  Alec said, deep voice rolling across Jace, one side of his mouth quirked.  “Found you.”

Simon had now started chuckling with increasingly louder laughter from the floor, keeping his face hidden behind an arm trying to muffle his amusement.

Jace tossed Alec a wicked, mischievous grin.  “Come with us to the club tonight.  You can wait until then.”

Alec leveled him with a flat stare.

“And I’ll make you dance.”  Jace joked, leaning back in the chair he was straddling hands gripping the back of the chair.

Now that Alec was here he felt reckless, he pushed up from the chair prowling over to Alec sliding his hand up Alec’s arm, could feel the tension building in that arm feel the heat spark through the parabati rune.

He smirked at the quiet, quick inhale from Alec, dropping his hand and wandering back over to his chair smoothly straddling it again.  “I’ll take that as a yes then.”

Alec blinked, eyes hiding whatever pain and heat crashed against them.  “Yeah.”  Alec muttered and left.

Guilt immediately followed.  Alec had reached out and he had brushed him off out of some childish game of power and control.

_And the club is not the place to talk._

“Damnit.”  Jace muttered more to himself and bolted out into the hall.  “Alec, wait.”

Alec turned looking back at him, expression inscrutable.  “You said that already.”

Jace could sense Clary watching him from the floor as he hovered in the hallway.  “Want to try some absinthe?”

It was in the middle of Alec’s work day, but Jace technically had the day off.  Jace hovered on the balls of his feet not sure which way he was going to move based on Alec’s response.

“Sure.”  Alec said.

Jace could not keep the smile from his face.  With one answer he just made Alec renege on all his duties, placing Jace above all of those priorities just to talk.

Jace followed Alec down to his own room, kicking the door closed behind him, latching it and bolting it for good measure.

_Because fuck Jonathan’s breaking and entering._

“There should be two shot glasses in the top drawer of the dresser.”  Jace said casually before his brain remembered a significant piece of something still laying in that dresser drawer.

Too late, Alec had already opened the drawer and pulled out the two shot glasses, closing the drawer and pausing when he turned around to face Jace.

“I saw it.  I don’t need it.”  Alec said to whatever was written across Jace’s face.

Jace forced himself to casually walk across the room and pull open the drawer, picking up the long forgotten blood vial and carrying it into the bathroom to crack it open and pour down the drain and toss in the trash.  Something he should have done months ago.

Returning Jace grabbed the absinthe from his minifridge something he had purchased since Simon had moved in with his and the versatile uses it provided made it worth it.

Alcohol being one of them.

Jace poured them both some of the absinthe.  It was not technically supposed to be drank in shot glasses and should really have a sugar cube with it and water to make it the best but neither of them seemed to want to complain, both downing the shot easily.

“So when did your cravings change?”  Jace asked pouring another one, even as the burn still smoothed over his tongue from the first shot.

Alec studied him for a moment.  “When I made the choice to be yours.  When did your nightmares start up again?”  Alec returned pulling out Jace’s desk chair to sit down.

Jace gave him a flat look from the bed and waved the absinthe bottle pointedly.  He was not getting up every time to refill the shot glass for him.

“Probably around the time your shrink left.  I think he should have given you pills or something to take your edge off.”  Jace said tossing back the second shot.

The moment he said it he knew he had over stepped, did not really care anymore that he had either.

Alec did not pause in his shift from the chair to the bed sitting down beside Jace.  “I think you might need that shrink more than me.”  Alec said holding out his hand for the bottle.

Jace relinquished the bottle, resting his arms across his legs.  “I tried that.  They kicked me out, remember.”  Jace said bitterly.

Alec hummed.  “I remember and I think they were stupid for it.”

“Yeah, well.  I’m the best shadowhunter in New York.  Supposed to count for something.”  Jace said leaning back to watch Alec from the side.

“Jace, you still have to take breaks.”  Alec pointed out.

_My break is you._

“What you think that I cannot handle a bit of stress?”  Jace bit out, pouring himself another shot.

“I know you can handle stress, Jace.”  Alec said gaze watching Jace take that next shot.

“Really?  That’s why you were going to bust the bathroom door down because I got sick once.”  Jace said scathingly.

Alec drew back, a flash of guilt crossing his features.

“It was a bug.”  Jace affirmed.

“We don’t catch mundane illnesses.”  Alec pointed out that guilty look increased.

“It was a stressful mission.  I had a lot on my mind.”  Jace snapped.

“People don’t get sick because of dreams and thoughts for no reason.”  Alec cut across him.

_Fuck._

They had not delved into Jace’s random brief illness.  And Jace had been unsure how much of it had to do with his own emotions and how much was the icy magical blast he had been exposed to.

_Magical blast that did no damage._

“You did something to me that night when I was sleeping, didn’t you.”  Jace whispered taking the bottle back and drinking straight from it this time.

Alec slid his hand up Jace’s back silently.  “Yes.  I did not want to use sex to activate it.  I never intended to make you sick.”

Jace scoffed turning his head to look at Alec.  “Next time.  Go with sex, a lot more pleasurable than puking my guts up.”

Alec shifted on the bed uncomfortably.  “I didn’t want to use you.  You said you don’t want to be used.”

_You can use me._

Jace poured himself another shot and downed it after that thought.  He was aware of taking these rapidly, good his body needed to feel numb.

A glance at Alec just made him recall the hot press of bodies and heat of their shared breath.

The insane idea of stripping for Alec went through his head, followed by an idea of standing under hot water to boost the alcohol’s numbing intensity and letting that hot water bring back memories of hot hands across his skin.

“What’s your plan with the Clave and Project Sacred?”  Jace asked instead trying to steer himself away from the heated need.

Alec poured himself another shot, swirling it around once before downing it.  “Maryse and I are sending the data to all Institutes.  We understand it’s a risk, but more than half the Institutes have responded back that they do not want to throw people into Hell just for a chance, that tactic was used hundreds of years ago with the skeptron weapons and became out dated because nothing ever came of it.  It’s looking like it will be permanently shutdown but you know how corrupt governments operate.”

Jace smiled softly.  “At least some good came out of it and we saved Max.”

_Just not the others._

The already deceased, the forgotten.

_Not numb enough._

Jace snatched the bottle back pouring himself another shot and downing it.

“Is that why you thought about slipping?  Because that guy’s pain losing his parabati and you understood exactly what that felt like.”  Jace asked searching for a shift in Alec’s mood, a subtle nuance to his face.

“Yes.”  Alec’s voiced sounded oddly silted.

“Did you think about me?”  Jace questioned, tilting his head to catch Alec’s gaze.

“Yes, parabati.”  Alec said gaze swept over his face, eyes flashing with heat for a moment and something darker.

Jace arched a brow up.  “How considerate.”

A slow ironic smile drew across Alec’s lips.  “I did lock my soul to yours for the duration of our lives and somehow fell in love with you.”

Jace’s own words thrown back at him in a vastly different manner.  Jace had said them directly before walking away from Alec, shattering his own heart.

_I don’t want to be apart from you._

“You aren’t drinking enough.”  Jace pointed out, taking a swig, setting the bottle down and turning to Alec gripping his head between both hands and pressing their mouths together using his tongue to pry Alec’s lips open and pour the alcohol from his mouth to Alec’s, could feel Alec swallow around his tongue threatening to derail his ability to function.

Jace pulled back enough noticing Alec chase his lips briefly before also pulling back.

_Come on.  I want to feel you._

Jace pushed off the bed taking another drink from the bottle, leaning over Alec to repeat the exchange he had done earlier passing the burning liquid to him.

_I know you’re in there.  I know you want this._

Alec’s hands came up to grip Jace’s hips flexing there for a moment.

“Do it.”  Jace whispered against his mouth, tasting the burn from the absinthe.

Alec gripped him hard dragging him into his lap, slanting his mouth up to meet Jace’s exploding heat across Jace’s body on a hissed exhale.

Jace dragged his hand up Alec’s sides searching for the lean muscle under the fabric, feeling it react to his touch.

The aching need blistered through him.

Insatiable, destructive, reckless need exactly as Jace wanted.

Alec flipped them over to pin Jace to the bed on a hard thrust.

Vaguely he heard the bottle hit the floor with a thud.

Jace pushed forward, it left him burning and panting into the mouth above him, hands gripping Alec to him.

Alec trembled above him, entire body shaking with the need that hummed between them fighting to control it.

Jace reached up to cup the side of Alec’s jaw.  “Lose control, Alec.  I want to feel it.”

Alec growled, dark eyes dilating further before griping Jace’s hip, jerking him into a grind.

_Still in control._

Jace hooked a leg behind Alec’s knee, twisting his body into a roll to come up on top.

“Says the one that hates being pinned.”  Alec called him out before slanting their mouths together.

Jace retaliated by getting a grip with both hands on the top of Alec’s shirt, sending him a molten smolder before tearing the fabric apart, effectively destroying the dress shirt and leaving bare skin for Jace to mouth against.

Alec let out a small gasp at the action, somewhere between aroused and irritated.

“I don’t like you feeling like you need to control this.”  Jace said as he mouthed across Alec’s chest, tugging at Alec’s pants until he got the point and pushed them off along with the rest of his clothes leaving him bare for Jace.

Jace stood up and swiftly unbuckled his pants with practiced ease, tossing his shirt somewhere on the floor before kneeing Alec’s legs apart as he dropped back down on the bed thrusting their hard lengths together on a grind.

_Not enough…_

Jace did not give Alec a chance to begin to respond, smashing their mouths together in a hot glide and locking his hands around Alec’s wrists pushing his wrists down earning him a sharp buck of Alec’s hips and a low groan.

Alec tugged on his wrists briefly, Jace tightened his grip on them rolling his hips against Alec, watching as Alec threw his head back from the pleasure that shot through them.

_Yes…_

Lose control for me.

Jace shifted his hands so he could pin both Alec’s wrists with one hand above his head reaching between their bodies to stroke them together.

The low moan Alec let out hurtled Jace closer to the edge as he continued to thrust and move against him, breath harsh against the side of Alec’s neck.

“Let go.”  Jace husked into his ear.

Alec’s body bowed up into him, head arching back on a silent scream as the pleasure overtook him.

Jace finally let go of Alec’s wrists placing both hands on either side of Alec’s head using the sweat and wet heat to thrust himself against Alec.

_More.  Don’t stop…_

The ledge of pleasure Jace chased hit him like a shockwave, overtaking his senses in heat and blotting out everything but the narrow world of skin Jace felt pressed against Alec.

He lay collapsed against Alec for a moment basking in the warm, tender aftermath, could hear Alec’s steady pants as he came down as well.

Alec’s hands traveled slowly down Jace’s back in a smooth gentle caress, then back up repeating the motion every few moments.

“Did you mean it?”  Alec asked into the quiet.

Jace burrowed his head into Alec’s neck, uncertain if Alec referenced him threatening their parabati bond at sword point or stating he would date Alec.

“Mean what?”  Jace asked into Alec’s skin licking along the defect rune there in the hope Alec would chose the lesser of the two.

Alec pulled him back and rolled them to the side, pressing his hand against the parabati rune.

_No luck._

“I had to get your attention.”  Jace said staring into Alec’s eyes in a challenge.

Alec huffed out a sad laugh.  “You could have stood still and held my attention.  You didn’t have to throw a sword in my face or threaten our bond to do so.”

“You made me irrational.”  Jace pointed out running his hand over Alec’s rune as well ensuring there was no scratch from the sword on it.  “I didn’t know what you planned.”

_And could not risk it._

Alec gave a low chuckle at that, amusement curling into the sound.  “You have made me unreasonable for years, Jace.”

The low laugh curled around Jace in a slow warmth.  He rarely heard Alec laugh except when they were together, occasionally with Jonathan, no one else lately.  He missed it.

Jace smirked at the small admission.

Alec leaned forward slanting their mouths back together in a slow, sensual glide communicating an apology and his regret into Jace’s mouth.

Jace allowed it for a few moments before pulling back enough to study Alec’s eyes.

“Do you ever stop?”  Jace questioned, knowing Alec understood he meant the constant pressure of their life.

Alec’s eyes shuttered over.  “Do you?”  He pinned Jace back when his gaze came back up, Jace refused to look away from that gaze.  “You rarely talk about your demons, Jace.”

Jace cut his gaze across the room searching for that bottle of blessed alcohol, rolling to his side he located it on the ground beside the bed, a small spill spreading out across the carpet.  He scooped it up, getting up from the bed and drinking straight from the bottle.

“I’m taking a shower, clubbing or something tonight.  I imagine duty calls you back.”  Jace evaded.

Alec growled, a low rumble.  “You’re hiding.”

_Hiding is what I’m best at._

At least when it came to emotional hiding.  Hiding in sex when he was younger, searching for that blissful release to dull the pain he felt.

Jace intentionally glanced over at Alec before taking another long drink from the bottle, watching as Alec’s eyes narrowed.

_Call me out.  Get angry._

Alec moved across the room slowly, Jace had plenty of time to bolt to the bathroom and lock him out if he wanted to.

He did not move, fascinated in the way Alec prowled up to him entirely nude.

“I told you not to lie to me.”  Alec said lowly.

Jace smirked.  “Hiding is not lying.  I have my own demons and darkness, just like you.”  Raising the bottle back to his lips.

Alec gave a sharp uppercut with the palm of his hand into the bottle in Jace’s knocking it from his hand to crack against the floor, stepping into his space.  “I think yours scream louder.”

Jace clenched his jaw.  “Want a pissing contest about whose head is more fucked up?”  He snarled.

In an instant, Jace’s mind gleamed all his fractured nightmares towards him in a glittering crystal clarity.  Every wrong choice and fucked up childhood memory, every decision to walk away from what he truly believed in thinking he deserved the darker fate.

_And I thought I was taking steps to overcome all this._

Logically he understood he had taken several steps to heal his own mind, but the balm to heal himself took longer to create and was harder to hold onto when things kept knocking him off that path.

“You ripped up my demons plenty.  I think it’s time we start to tear yours out.”  Alec returned lowly, caging Jace with a look.

_Go to hell._

Jace bit back the acrid comment.

Alec ran his hands along Jace’s arms kneading at certain spots on his upper arms, repeating the same with Jace’s upper legs, before mouth a kiss over his heart.  “Jace, stop fighting.”  Alec whispered his own words back to him from months ago.  “Let it out.”  Alec lightly brushed their mouths together.  “Let me in.”

The same things he demanded of Alec thrown back at him.

_I want to get lost in you until I can’t think.  Until I don’t need to fight._

Jace hauled Alec to him slamming him against the nearest wall, hissing into his mouth.  “Stop talking.”   Fusing their mouths back together.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace jolted awake on the floor when the door unlatched itself and moved only to come to an abrupt halt when the deadlock caught it.

He smirked.  “Asshole is that you?”  He called.

He heard a chuckle from the other side of the door.  “Smarter.”  Jonathan’s voice flowed through the door.

“We’re heading to the club.”  Clary’s voice called through the door.  “We came to get you.”

_Shit._

He glanced down at Alec asleep on the floor with him.  He had lost track of how many times he had buried himself in him until he could not think, could not even keep his eyes open and could not pinpoint the moment between the pleasure ending and falling asleep.

He could also smell the heady, musky scent in the air they had both generated and knew it coated his body as well.

_Double shit._

“Give me ten minutes.”  Jace rolled to his feet not waiting for the answer, briefly debating about relocking the door but figured that would cause questions in Clary’s mind he would rather not deal with.  Instead jumping in the shower and washing down quickly before drying and getting dressed.

_Never should have agreed to go to the club with Clary of all people._

Granted at the time his brain had been unable to unstick itself from the past couple missions until he burned them up in the heady, hot blaze between him and Alec.

Crouching down next to Alec, he shook his shoulder until Alec moved enough to lift his head up to gaze at him blearily still half asleep.

“Bed.”  He ordered his parabati.  “Floor isn’t going to feel good in a couple more hours.”

Alec moved enough to collapse in the bed, still naked.  “I blame you for the lecture I receive shortly.”  Grumbled Alec.

Jace scoffed with a smile.  “Your fault.”

“My choice.”  Alec mumbled back.

Jace grinned at that.  “Come to the club when you wake up.”

Jace slipped out of his room, turning to face Jonathan and Clary.

Clary gave him a tentative smile, an olive branch to the gulf she had opened up when she threatened him.  It did not reach him as it once would have.

Jonathan took one look at him mouth thinning briefly before morphing into a twisted half fake smile he directed towards Jace.  “Getting sneakier.”  Jonathan drawled.

Jace gave him a flat glare for attempting to break into his room.  “It must hurt to be you.”

Jonathan grinned broadly at that.  “Pain is the best kind of aphrodisiac.  Completely riveting.”  His grin changed into something dark and sinister.  “Hasn’t your parabati told you how pain travels along the same pathways as pleasure?”

Jace scowled at the comment and all its perverse indications.

Clary glanced between them with a raised eyebrow.  “Ok, play nice until Simon gets there at least.  I do not want to play mediator all night.  I wanted to talk to Jace anyway.”

“I’m going to need more to drink.”  Muttered Jace, glancing back at his door briefly.

He ignored the frown and irritated look Clary sent him.

Two texts from Izzy later saying her and Simon would be running late and Jonathan vanishing with some Seelie within moments of arriving left Jace awkwardly with Clary in a booth in the far corner of the club.

Clary swirled her red colored drink around in her hand, green eyes watching him from across the table.  All Jace knew was that it was something fruity and that whatever he had chosen was not working well with several shots of absinthe on an empty stomach.

Granted that could have also been all the sex and now the nerves sending his stomach into a roll.

“We have not really talked much since I returned to the Institute.”  Clary said into their mutual silence, the loud beat of the club echoing loudly through the walls.

Jace pulled one of the paper menus towards him.  Some special event was happening in the next room over and thus the normal laminated list was nowhere to be seen.  He started to fold it into an origami bird, a falcon in his mind, a bird to everyone else.

“Talk then.”  Jace said, keeping his gaze riveted on the paper bird, folding it in a cross section.

She brushed some of her red hair out of her face, green eyes studying him with her usual fiery intensity.

“I want to know how you are doing after everything.  Jace, you went through so much when we first met and then you just cut me out completely and I can’t live like that.”  She reached for his hand across the table.

He jerked away pulling his arms into his lap and leaving the paper falcon behind.  “I’m fine, Clary.”

She dropped her hand back, mouth twisting.  “Then why leave this wall between us if you are fine?”  She demanded.

Jace drew one arm up to band it across his body on the table.  “Because the only way I could heal was to have you gone.”  Jace snapped.

Clary drew back as if struck, green eyes blazing in anger.  “The only way you can heal is if you open up to someone, Jace.”  She said harshly, then took a breath physically trying to calm herself down.  “You started to with me.”

Jace shoved up from the booth.  “What happened to Sam?”  He asked scathingly.  “You drop him as soon as you saw me again, like you did Simon?”

He knew it was a low blow.

“You went through girls quickly enough when we weren’t together.”  She said scathingly.  “Am I just another in your crusade?”

_Where the hell are Izzy and Simon?_

He would not even be having this conversation if they were present.

“I don’t know.”  He glanced over at her, his brow furrowing.  “I don’t know what love means remember.”  He said bitterly and spun to head towards the bar and order himself something else to drink.

“Maybe if you’d grow up you might find someone willing to deal with you.”  She called after him, he could hear her huff and stomp back to their table.

_I did._

Turning back around with his drink, he spotted Izzy in a neon red dress that glowed under the blacklight walking through the crowd towards him with Simon in tow.

_About time._

“You look like you just escaped Torture and Interrogation.”  Izzy commented sidling up next to Jace with a grin.

“I did.”  Jace said flatly, glancing over towards Clary and Simon as they greeted each other.

Izzy chuckled.  “Exs.  Although I managed to make mine still like me afterwards.”  She said before ordering her own drink.

They both wandered back over to Simon and Clary now that Jace had a nice buffer of two people to keep Clary off him, hopefully.

Izzy handed out shots immediately.   “We’re all going to need a few of these before we can all sit and not kill each other.”  She said.

“Speak for yourself.”  Simon laughed nodding over towards where Jonathan clearly had his tongue down a Seelies throat.

_I never wanted to see that.  Ever._

Jace dropped his head on the table with a groan.

“Clary, Jace tells me you would be excellent in T&I.”  Izzy commented lightly, clinking her glass against hers taking the first shots.

Jace lifted his head enough to glare at Izzy.

She grinned devilishly at Jace.  “Oh I’m just getting started.  You wanted to keep me in the dark for months.  Now I just get to start handing out shovels.”

“Remind me to sic Alec on you when he gets here.”  Jace muttered, glancing over at Simon before smirking evilly at Izzy.  “Simon, is that a hickey?”  He drawled.

Simon instantly slapped his hand over his neck, blushing.

Jace turned to Izzy.  “Fixing the drone, huh.”  He said.

Izzy was not even phased.  “Where should I start?”  Izzy said sliding a shot over to him.

Jace decided to consciously activate one of his runes to ease off the roiling in his stomach and downed the shot Izzy handed him.  “How about never.”

Simon chuckled.  “Man, today has been priceless.  You should have seen his fall out of the tree earlier.”

“It was not that funny, he could have gotten hurt.”  Clary said.

“A tree?”  Izzy deadpanned.  “You can jump off a fifty foot building and kill demons and you fell out of a tree.”

“I caught myself, smoothly, and saved Simon’s drone.”  Jace said cockily leaning back in his seat, sensing an upper hand building.

“You crashed it!”  Simon yelped.

“Yeah and you _fixed_ it with Izzy.  You can classify that under things I never wanted to know about.”  Jace told him, before his eyes swung towards Izzy already seeing her smile.

“At least you didn’t have to see it.”  Izzy shuddered.  “I still have nightmares.”

Jace eyed her warily.  “The fact that you dream about it is creepy by itself.”

“That was said with complete facetiousness.”  Izzy said with a deadly smile.

Jace stared at Izzy blankly for a moment, unwilling to ask what the hell she just said.

Clary continued to study Jace attempting to uncover things she had not been part of for months.

“Izzy caught Jace having sex with someone.”  Simon explained to Clary with glee.

Grasping onto that straw tightly.  “I also had sex in an alleyway once so plenty of people have seen me.”  Jace pointed out missing the flabbergasted and heated look Clary sent him.

“That’s disgusting on so many levels.  There’s trash cans and rabid mice back there.”  Simon said wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“Says the one that drank blood for a living for a few months and lived with dead people.”  Jace drawled, before grinning evilly at him.  “Don’t vampires get off on biting, have to be a sexual predator to get close to your victims.”

“I’m not a sexual predator!”  Simon shouted in irritation shaking his fist at Jace.

“That was low, even for you.”  Izzy said with a disapproved glance at Jace.

“But it was perfect.”  Jeered Jonathan as he slid into a seat at the table, dark black hair slightly mussed.

“The Seelie girl or Simon?”  Clary questioned, green gaze still partially on Jace.

Jonathan shrugged one shoulder up, a devious grin forming.  “Both?  Although I don’t think Simon would just drop to his knees for me.”  He sent a charming smile towards Clary and Izzy.  “They might.”

Simon gave Jonathan, Nathan, to him a disturbed look.  “Don’t ever try it.  I don’t swing that way.”  Simon informed him.  “Besides I would never cheat on Izzy.”

Izzy smiled sweetly.  “My knight in shining armor.”

Jonathan glanced over at Clary.  “And how is the lovely redhead doing this evening?”

Jace clenched his jaw at the clear charm being laid on thick.

Clary blushed at the random attention.  “Just trying to figure out my old friends out and make new ones.”  She said tilting her head towards Jonathan.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should not have tried throwing my brother and Jace under execution.”  Izzy muttered.

Simon gave an exasperated huff.  “You promised.”  Simon hissed quietly towards Izzy.

Izzy rolled her eyes before deciding they all needed another shot to ease the tension off.

_I should not have drank all that absinthe._

Even with the rune Jace could feel the warm tingly feeling running through his limbs, skittering his awareness into a sluggish grind that kept wanting to return to a few hours earlier.

“Jace, come dance with me.”  Clary said sensing all the tension and wanting to escape it just as badly.

He weighed his options of a pissed off Izzy and the psychotic Jonathan and went with the lesser of the three evils.

“Sure.”

The warm press of her body brought back the memories but not the desire when she crowded against him in a sway.

He caught her shoulders to keep her at a certain distance regardless, not wanting to lead her on.

“Miss you.”  Clary murmured green eyes searching his face.

Jace stiffened, fingers flexing on her shoulders prepared to push her away.  “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

Clary narrowed her eyes.  “I do mean that, Jace.  Ever since Alec and Edom and Jonathan…God Jonathan…”  She glanced down, shaking her head in regret for her brother.

Jace glanced to the side where Jonathan sat watching them with predatory eyes.  “Yeah, they successfully turned the world upside down.  Could always get to know Nathan, he has the same winning personality as Jonathan.”

She smacked him in the shoulder lightly.  “Why do you have to be like that?  Always so mean and keeping everyone at a distance.”  She rubbed his shoulder and Jace forced himself not to throw her off.  “You never used to keep me at a distance, even when we first met.”

A cold seeped in under his skin from her touch, something that should not be there, something twisted and uncaring.  He recognized it instantly as the Owl’s memories, the ones he had slowly been working through in his own head.

_“Stop fighting…”_

He had for a brief couple hours, losing himself entirely and it felt like no time had passed.  Could feel the need building again, stirring through his blood as the rune at his side heated as if earlier had never occurred.

_How many times had he told Alec to stop fighting him?_

“Jace?”  Clary’s voice brought him back to the club and the fact he had gone still on the dance floor barely swaying to her direction, one hand hovered towards his face as if she was afraid to touch him.

Jace shrugged other hand from his shoulders, breaking the connection to Clary and his minds sliding descent towards things he was still working through.  “Clary, if you cannot see me as a friend than I don’t know why you are trying to bridge this gap.  I’m not dating you again.”  Jace told her firmly.  “I’m not sure I trust you anymore.”

“We should talk about this.”  She replied reaching for him.

“No.”

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The file lay open on Alec’s desk, along with all the other files linked to Project Sacred.  A project to fucked to function for long and had ended over a hundred lives before it was even discovered.  Maryse had done exactly as he requested upon returning from that retrieval mission and told the Clave and every Institute across the world everything.  Effectively dismantling the operation from ever starting up again.  Yet, the people and pieces strew across his desk told of the lies, victims, and fear.

The broken ones used because they thought they could become stronger; Max and the other younger ones.

The lies that had birthed this project; the destruction of Edom, Jessica, and Jonathan.

And the fear; The Claves innate fear of demons destroying their world.

It all resulted in this fucked up project that had not been used since the days of sending Nephilim into Edom to directly fight the asmodei.  Sacrificing people as blood sacrifices faster than the demons could kill them and send their pieces back.  And now he had to fix the broken system – what was left of it.

The various councilers that were all in meeting with him via the computer remained silent stunned into a loss for words at what Jessica and a few other Clave members own brutality had wrought.

_Intentionally opening portals into hellish dimensions tends to gain peoples attention._

Maryse sat across from him and to her credit did not show a chink in her armor now that she had had time to process the information prior to this mass meeting and had already spoken to key players throughout the world to ensure they had the manpower and votes to stop this.

The fact he and Jonathan had killed many associated with the project helped some of the cleanup.  And what did that say about him now that those peoples deaths, their blood on his hands, was considered clean up?

“Where do we even begin?”  One of the Institute leaders from Berlin asked.

“Jessica.”  Alec spat the name.  She was dead but her vendetta and personal pain had far reaching consequences.

“It was a high risk operation.”  Robert Lightwood, his father, spoke through the computer from Idris having changed roles from the Los Angeles Institute.  “The members going into this project must have known it was a lifelong commitment.  It could have been a pre-emptive strike to demon kind.”

The words kicked the sturdy ground Alec stood on out from under him, even playing devils advocate his father had sent Max there.

_You knew.  You knew what you sentenced him to and you still did it._

“Pre-emptive strike?”  Maryse echoed her ex-husbands words staring across the mahogany desk at Alec, eyes shining with horror while the rest of her remained tightly locked in control of her facial expressions.

“The fifty two deaths within less than a year, plus the hundreds of years’ experience at doing just this type of project and _failing_ should have been a warning to not hand over Nephilim souls to the demons.”  Alec stated coldly.

Robert’s brow went up on the screen before him.  “You accusing someone of willingly handing the demons parabati.”

Alec sighed.  “I’m saying the same thing I have been repeating for months, do not send people into hellish dimensions.  Valentine and Jonathan have both been stopped.  You lost one battle, we won the war.  Did we learn nothing from Valentine’s endarkened shadowhunters?  His experiments?”

Silence met the question as they all sank under the weight of how many had lost to that internal war trying to get a leg up on the demons.

Logically he knew he had already won, had already done enough damage to the project that it would never reopen, at least not while he was alive.  It did not detract from the oppressive weight of responsibility, uncovering the masterminds.

“There are only two ways this can end.”  Lydia spoke as the new Head of the Los Angeles Institute.  “We use Scholomance in its entirety and begin rotating every new shadowhunter through it, further psychological exams will be required before entering.  The last time it was open a large number failed due to psychological stress and nervous breakdowns.  Or we exterminate ourselves by sending our youngest into these hellish realms.  It should not even be a choice.”

Several affirmatives sounded forth on the idea of Scholomance being required as a more intensive training school to hunt demons before sending operatives out into the field.

“And what of the shadowhunters already in these hellish realms?  There are two that have not died yet according to their parabati.”  One of the other Institute leaders questioned.

Alec settled his gaze on that member even though the camera would only pick up the hardening of his gaze.  “Extraction failed.  They will die within the week.”

He forced himself not to close his eyes on that decision.  That weight in his chest had been why he had given in to Jace easily earlier, desperate for the brief distraction just as much as Jace appeared to be.

Alec was not sure if the decision to not dive into that hellish realm to extract the two missing shadowhunters stemmed from his emotion towards Jace or his duty to not become the monster he feared.

He clenched his fist, rubbing at his arm briefly before dropping his hand consciously stopping the habit before he fully completed the action.

“And if they come back?”  Maryse asked sternly, gaze locked on her son.

Alec held her gaze, his expression inscrutable.  “Termination.”

_And if I reach them first, extraction of power._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The powerful burn of whatever drink had been chosen next hit the back of Jace’s throat as he tossed it back.

He knew he was being reckless the entire day, could not seem to bring himself to care.  Needing to dig up scars just as much as he wanted to drown himself until they faded.

Faded into something that did not resemble Clary’s desire for him, the Seelies want to use him, or the red light reflecting off Alec’s eyes from that red hellish portal.

The press of bodies against him on the dance floor making him sway with them in an undulation with the music making him almost forget.

Only he could see Clary dancing with Jonathan off to the side.

She had given up on Jace after he had coldly told her he could not trust her, which was great for him.  But he did not trust Jonathan with her.

_Barely trust him with Alec._

Now that the mood to lose himself in the bodies had vanished Jace pushed himself back off the dance floor back over to Simon.

“What happened to Izzy?”  He asked over the music, smoothly sitting down in his seat even with all the alcohol floating through his system.

Simon pointed back behind Jace to where Izzy danced with a Seelie friend of hers.

In the strobe of lights Jace could not make out if it was Meliorn or another Seelie.  No armor though.

Not Meliorn then.

“I wish she would let you go completely.”  Simon said.

Jace glanced back at Simon then over towards the redhead he understood Simon meant, before huffing out a sigh.  “Yeah, me too.”

“That Sam guy already left her.”  Simon gave a low, self-patronizing chuckle.  “Something I should have done when I knew she was not over you.”

Jace slid his hands onto the table to clasp them together, turning his head to fully look at Simon beside him.  “I never should have gone for her when she first stumbled into my life.  She had lost an entire family, an entire life, and I related to that.  Thought that just because we were the same we were supposed to be in love.  Stupid, right?”

Simon’s eyes had gone slightly wider at Jace opening up to him, but he schooled his features into something more understanding quickly.  “Not stupid.  It brought you to where you are now.  Brought me to Izzy.”  Simon’s gaze wandered over towards where Izzy danced with a small smile on his face.

It made Jace jealous, that freedom that ease of trust built upon time spent together slowly getting to know each other.  Something he and Alec had done only for life to keep throwing up barriers.  Death did that along with all the repercussions.

“How do you get through arguments?”  Jace asked casually, spinning his bottle between the palms of his hands on the table.

Simon gave him a sharp look before a slow smile dawned across his face.  “You want relationship advice.”  He teased.

Jace scoffed, fixing a confidant expression on his face and lifting his head up.  “No, just curious.”  He gestured towards Izzy.  “Curious how you two deal with things.”

“Talking.  Simple as that.”  Simon said leaning forward in his seat to really look at Jace.  “Nothing more to it.”

Simon raised his hand to clap Jace on the back.

Jace gave him a hard look.  “Don’t.”  He warned, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes in aggression.

Simon chuckled dropping his hand back to his drink.  “And here I thought we were having a moment.”

Jace smiled turning back to his own drink.  “Never.”  Then chuckled.

Talking, facing emotions he had already laid at Alec’s feet, losing himself in the fire between them, still running from pieces he had only faced in small glimpses and the single time he had apparently tried jumping out Alec’s window.

His gut clenched at the thought.

_I unconsciously attempted to commit suicide._

If Alec had not been there he would have been broken on the ground from his own mind.

His throat felt closed off at the thought, an ache driving its way up through his body that even the alcohol could not stop.

_Fuck._

He downed the drink in front of him forcing the ache back down into his stomach with the liquid.

Izzy dropped into the seat beside him, slinging an arm around him.  “It’s loud!  We’re going somewhere else.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

By the time Alec had escaped the Institute and all its duties he doubted the others would still be at the club.

One round about lingering trip through the alleyways of New York and a single check on the club informed him that neither Jace nor Izzy were there.

Which worked just fine for him right now.  He needed the space, the time to process sentencing two people to death and another two to possible suicide.

_When did being the leader become so heavy?_

He shook his head against his own thought.  He needed to keep moving forward.

_The decision has been made, don’t stay there._

He ran a thumb along his cellphone debating about calling Jace or Izzy to discover where they had gone, before dropping it back it his jacket pocket.

That meeting had been hell and the idea of being near happiness did not sit right currently.

_“What are your motives?”_

_“To shut down Project Sacred.”_

_“That’s the goal, not your reasons.”_

_“To serve the Shadowhunters and ensure we survive to continue the fight.  To continue to push back the demons.”_

_“Son…”_

Alec dropped to the ground from his perch following instinct to wander the streets.

_“It’s about survival, not servitude.”_

That single statement from Lydia had won him nearly all of the Institutes around the world in that moment.  Evidence helped but that change in view was the final push that allowed him to gain their approval to shut the project down for good and search for similar projects.

The thought he could have loved her if they had gone through with that terrible marriage wandered through his mind.  They both had similar goals and she understood the political plain ever better than himself.

He turned down a random street ignoring the mundanes around him, they could not see him anyway.

A flicker of movement caught his eye, unusual enough to turn his head towards its source.

Dirt and vines fell back into place revealing Meliorn, dark hair, and strikingly intense eyes staring back at him.

“Losing your touch, Shadowhunter.  I’ve been following you for several blocks.”  Meliorn informed him approaching him in a sway of rustling leaves and a light breeze.

Alec did not comment that it took Meliorn using Seelie magic to gain his attention that was embarrassing enough.

He tilted his head towards Meliorn in their customary greeting at a distance.  “Meliorn, it’s unusual for you to approach me and not Isabelle.”

Meliorn kept his head tilted studying Alec for a moment from under thick lashes.  “My Queen knows you are aware of our civil war now.  She also knows you took out one of the Unseelies largest weapons.”

Alec held that elusive gaze filled with lies and truths.  “Her intentions?”

Meliorn’s eyes held amusement for a moment, slowly straightening up.  “I think you already know.  He was involved in that destruction as well.”

_Jace._

The Queen’s obsession with Jace remained even after he had freed them from the debt Clary had placed over them.

“No.”  Alec said, unable to walk away due to custom and politics, knowing a frown was forming on his face as his gaze hardened on the Seelie.

“The Unseelies are closer to demonkind; gluttony, greed, lust.  All the things shadowhunters abhor about us.”  Meliorn commented lightly, a tense strain across his face.

Alec searched the Seelie’s gaze attempting to discern what exactly he was implying, what half-truths were being given.

“She wants her monster.”  Meliorn said softly still studying him, gaze sliding just slightly down and back to Alec’s gaze.  “Unless you can give her something of equal value.”

Alec felt his mouth twist into something that was not quite a smile, crossing his arms in front of him.  “Her offered cup of Edomic blood proves she is more than capable of creating her own monster.”

Melion’s hand twitched towards his blade but never grabbed it.

_Didn’t think I would know what that was on sight, did you._

Alec took a step towards the Seelie using his height to lean over Meliorn.  “If she wants a monster she can use what she stole.” He hissed lowly.

Meliorn slowly blinked at him, raising his eyes back to Alec’s.  “You did recognize it.”  Meliorn commented, mouth still holding that small upturn and ignoring the monster statement.

_Your Seelie knights went digging it up and buried one of your own with the infusion._

“Was it your knights or the Unseelies?”  Alec questioned refusing to back down, watching as Meliorn’s nondominant hand pocketed a thin syringe, empty.

“One and the same.”  Meliorn replied removing his hand from where he had pocketed the empty syringe, Alec felt a faint trace of tension ease out from the movement.

“Full of good intentions tonight, aren’t you?”  Alec said flicking his eyes back up to Meliorn’s, away from the clear threat the Seelies wanted his blood.

This song and dance of wits and lies always something he loathed.  Izzy would have had the answers out of him by now.

Meliorn smoothly paced back a few steps, the blasé controlled smile never leaving his lips.  “The Seelies intentions are always to survive and to reduce the number of cockroaches crawling through our underbelly.  Cockroaches born of a brilliant white light.”

Alec’s heart gave a stutter.

There was only one white light in recent memory to bring the attention of the entire Downworlder to focus on it.  The release of souls from Edom.

_And the missing greater demons._

“And how many greater demons are inside your realm now that you need to create a monster?”  Alec asked carefully watching Meliorn for the subtle traces of a flinch, a crease, a lie.

Meliorn just smiled.  “I told you.  Seelies cannot lie.  My Queen does not want Shadowhunters to know about the depths of depravity one side can entice.”

Gluttony.  Greed.  Lust.

“Three.”  Alec breathed the word.

Meliorn bowed his head in acknowledgement.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O


	10. Dark Stained Soul Ch 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how many of you are still reading this, but I enjoy the story going on in my head. So I have decided to continue to write it regardless.  
> For those that do still like the story, comments are life and much appreciated!
> 
> :Summary: Repercussions, choices, and growing up.

**Dark Stained Soul**

Chapter 10

By: Evey

 

The warm water soaked into his skin, steam wrapping around his body in warmth adding to the relaxation the medicating alcohol had been providing before his mind kept switching tactics.

Jace sunk lower into the water.

The entire thing was man made but it did not detract from the fact it was relaxing him, large enough he could swim laps in it if he wanted.

He cracked his eyes open to stare up at the wooden paneling hued in golden light.

Izzy’s idea of spa that she had been petitioning for months- she had finally managed to convince Jace through drunken begging until he caved.  It did not help that Simon surrendered the moment she announced they needed to leave the club, leaving only Jace arguing for their manhood to avoid the “spa”.   Something he had vehemently and quickly changed his mind on the moment he realized he would be left alone with Clary and Jonathan.  So he had caved and Izzy had happily dragged them halfway across the city to this manmade hot spring.

_I’ll admit it.  A hot spring is awesome._

Izzy and Simon had their own bath to themselves which was fine with Jace.

It left him alone, silence surrounding him, stilling his mind, allowing him to sink under the surface of the water, blocking out light and muffling sounds until it was just him.

Him immune to all senses, but touch.  With the sensory deprivation came his internal battle with himself.

He could feel the cold shaky loss of control creeping back into his body.

_Don’t give in to the fear._

He refused to surface yet, wanting to beat his own mind and the building terror that would bring the memories.

_How the hell do you do this, Alec?_

Come on.  He could find his way out of his own mind.  It was gone, Lilith, the owl, the bugs, the things that haunted him were dead.  He was fine.

_Then why the hell can’t I let it go…_

Tear it out.  Dig deep enough.

_“…enough to let it go.”_

His own words said to Alec so long ago.  The prison was broken.  All the pieces were there, he had faced some of them, had intentionally looked at those sharp edged memories to face what he had done in some masochist revelation to move past it.

His lungs burned from staying under the water for so long.  He glued his mouth shut and refused to surface yet, could feel his pulse driving through his head echoing in his ears.

Jace twisted under the water as his body fought with his instinct to surface.

His lungs gave a convulsion threatening to inhale the water.

Jace surfaced on a gasp, water spraying from his mouth on a choked gasp, sucking in a breath Jace punched the water in frustration.

Silence followed, but for the slow languid lap of the water against the sides of the heated square pool.

Jace scrubbed his hands across his eyes and down his cheeks removing the water from his eyes.

_Fuck._

Where was Alec when he actually wanted to talk to him?

Jace turned to climb out of the massive square tub and froze.  Alec crouched nearby watching him, clearly having waited for him to surface, body tense and one arm hovering part way over the water as if he had been about to haul Jace physically out of the water.

The hovering arm dropped.  Alec stood slowly, dark eyes watching Jace.  The darkened room hiding the emotions held there.

Jace waited for a lecture or complaint about his actions, none arrived.

“No hello for your parabati?”  Jace asked, acutely aware he was naked and had been under that water longer than what would appear safe.

_Stupid that I even feel self-conscious now._

A slight upturn of Alec’s lips.  “Hello, parabati.”  He intoned.  “The Seelies cold war now involves three greater demons located in the Unseelie realm.  Although I do not know how accurate that assessment of the type is.  One missing, maybe.  We’ve killed the others already.”  Alec studied him for a moment with that piercing gaze he used to pin anyone under his command to the ground.

_I’m signing up for medic classes tomorrow._

With a focus in detecting greater demons.  Seriously, how could they have killed the others and not known which one was a true greater demon.  He understood greater demons could alter their appearances at will, which made them a massive pain to locate if they were not destroying everything around them.  The green chrysalis and that blasted flying demon at the Queen’s reveal easily were two they had killed.

Jace stepped out of the tub grabbing up the towel nearby to dry off, refusing to back down from that gaze.  “Others?”  He demanded casually wrapping the towel around himself.

“The chrysalis, the queen’s reveal, and the subway.”  Alec moved back towards the room where Jace’s clothing had been dropped.

_The subway when you broke rank…_

Jace grit his teeth and it took conscious effort to not form his hand into a fist and punch his parabati.

_You didn’t even have a soul then._

Which was precisely why Alec had broken ranks so easily back then.  Control nonexistent and he severely doubted Alec had been listening to any of his normal rational logic either.

“Great, how are we going to break into the Seelie realms and take out three greater demons without them noticing?”  Jace questioned, glad for the mission oriented conversation, even if seconds ago he had been wanting to talk to Alec about something completely different.

Alec shifted slightly in the dim room.  “Meliorn alerted me to the demons presence there, but I do not know how many of us he can smuggle into the Unseelie realms without detection.  I was planning for at least nine people, it might be less.”

_Nine…to take out three greater demons.  That’s a difficult mission to contemplate._

“Unless you intend for Magnus to be joining us I don’t know how else we can take out that many at once.  There are legends about greater demons destroying entire armies.”  Jace pointed out logically, dropping the used towel and followed Alec into the other room where his clothes lay in a heap pulling his clothes on.  “Unless you can get one person close enough to deal the killing blow.”  He continued pulling his clothes on.

“Stealth.”  Alec called over to him from where he stood, some underlying darkness hidden in that single word making Jace look up at him with a furrowed brow.

Noting the creases of tension, exhaustion, and a strain held in Alec’s face that had briefly vanished under Jace for a moment.  All back again.

“What happened tonight?”  Jace asked.  The tension through Alec’s shoulders, the unconscious twitch towards his right arm.

Alec stared at him for a moment.  “I sentenced two people to death and their parabati to possible suicide.”  He said tonelessly then gestured towards Jace.  “Then found you submerged…I thought you had less masochist tendencies.”  There was a hint of something scathing in there.

_I’m way to drunk for this._

Jace winced, cutting his eyes away from Alec’s stare.  “I don’t know how you do it.  Get up and move on.  I try not to think about it, but sometimes it’s all I can think about.”

Alec came towards him sliding his hand around to the back of Jace’s neck, not pulling in but not allowing him to run either.  “Because I chose to have reasons to move forward.  Otherwise I would have died a long time ago.”  He pressed a gentle caress to Jace’s temple.  “Stop looking at the past, its discoloring your view of the world now.  What you survived and what you came back to.”  He kissed the other side of Jace’s temple.  “You can’t change the past, Jace.”

Jace inhaled a sharp breath, blinking his eyes.  He knew that.  He understood he could not change what he went through, despised enduring the echo of what he went through.  He was done with this emotional upheaval but the words were tearing into him deeper than any of the times Alec had touched him.

“What are your reasons to stop punishing yourself?”  Alec questioned softly.  “You hurt yourself more than any demon or blade by remaining in the past, remaining where I cannot reach you, where I cannot see you.” His breath gusted across Jace’s temple as he spoke.

For the first time since Jace had endured the Owl someone asked him to stop.  Stop and consider why he should move on.

_Reasons…_

His first instinct was Alec, his parabati.

No, Alec would have him laid out on the floor, half gone in pleasure by now.  He wanted more than just instinct.

“Are you mad at me?  Jace asked.

_For being broken._

Alec went still, dark gaze flashing a warning.  “Don’t turn this back on me.  I know where my demons lie.  Give me a reason.”

Jace cut his gaze to the floor.  “You.”  He croaked.

Heavy silence followed.

Jace slowly lifted his gaze back up to Alec’s, frowning when he only found an expectation for more there.

Anger curdled low, burning hotter as the silence continued.

“Haven’t I given you enough?”  Jace snarled, backing away from Alec in one short step, hands fisting at his sides.

Alec gave him a flat look.  “You have more reasons than just me.  I know you do.  I see it every day when you joke with Simon, when you smile at the trainees you instruct.”  More softly.  “When you demanded I bring Izzy in so you could have someone else to talk to about Jonathan.”

Jace’s eyes widened, throat constricting with the facts Alec pinned him with.

_Izzy._

She had told him months ago to let go when he fell apart on her shoulder in that hidden alcove in the library.  And he had been trying to not drown in his own memories ever since, each time he faced them it felt like a weight was pulling him back down, to spiral out of control.  And yet, his reflexive convulsion in his hand had stopped.  And there were times he could glance at the memories without drowning.  A sheeted color between the Owl’s memories and his own.

Alec’s hand traced along his arm stopping at his elbow, a calm comfort asking nothing.  Yet asking everything.

His heart throbbed.

Jace shook his head.  “I don’t know how to let go.”

He knew how to fight, work, even knew how to die now.

Where was that peace he had found earlier?  In moments and suspended time for brief hours.

His eyes flicked towards Alec.

_My peace is you._

The constant parabati bond the only sure source that Alec would not walk away from him.  At least he hoped Alec would not walk away from him.

Alec’s thumb brushed over his skin.  “Thought action was your creed.  I can see your mind whirring from here.”  Alec whispered.

Jace huffed a short laugh.

_Wasn’t that the truth._

An action to take a step forward and truly let go.  Not just face the memories and rage at them, breaking himself apart in the process only to use Alec to piece himself back together in heat.

“Time I start picking up those pieces the Owl left behind, huh.”  Jace said.

Taking a breath Jace wandered away from Alec to grab up his weapons and begin buckling them back on, feeling Alec’s eyes track him across the room.

“I’m sorry.”  Alec said coming over and making him stop in adhering his weapons to his body with the holsters, hands coming back up to hold Jace’s face gently.  “I’m sorry for the pain and the scars it left behind that I can’t heal with an Iratze.”

Jace pulled Alec’s hands from his face, clenching hard into the bone there, gasping for breath, feeling something breaking inside him as he stared at Alec’s chest.

“Stay with me.”  Alec whispered against his hair.  “I need you to stay with me.”

Jace pressed his face into Alec’s chest, clawing his hands into Alec’s jacket on another gasp, pressing his mouth over Alec’s skin and screamed, not noticing Alec go rigid with the sound.

Alec’s arms came around to loosely hold Jace as he took another gasping breath only to scream again, letting out every trapped fear, rage, and broken piece being used by the Owl demon had left behind, breaking down into tears and sinking to his knees.  Alec sank with him still holding him, holding him through letting himself go.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace had no concept of how much time had passed laying broken in Alec’s arms, he recalled at some point moving from the floor once his legs had fallen asleep under him and now lay curled on the low mattress the hot spring had in the adjoining room, Alec’s arms still wrapped around him.

“What time is it?”  Jace asked the bland question roughly, mouth dry and raw from earlier.

Alec shrugged jostling Jace slightly with the motion.  “Do you trust me, parabati?”

Jace opened his mouth on the reflexive response, closed it.  Then said what he needed.  “Not always.  I trust you with everything but drawing that darkness back inside.”

He could feel the tension form in Alec’s body from the words.  “I really fucked us up returning from Edom, huh.”  Alec said.

Jace blinked turning his head to look into Alec’s eyes.  “I don’t regret us.  Ever.  But you have to trust others to do their jobs to stop the demons, the darkness, not use it as a weapon because you can.  Regardless of your intentions with it, it will take you down a path I cannot follow you.”

It did that before when Alec had been locked in that cell for a month.

Jace closed his eyes against the pain that memory brought back, seeing Alec mad and ruthlessly fighting Magnus every step of the way as he pulled the demonic magic from him.

“Do you trust yourself?”  Alec asked, one hand slowly rubbing Jace’s back.

_Do you?_

Jace swallowed.  “More than I once did.”

“Can you trust yourself to face something like Lilith?”  Alec questioned.

_Not even remotely._

A wave of cold washed through Jace at the thought of how easily she had converted him to her side with just a drink.

“Yes.”  Jace said, because he had to, could not let Alec face that alone.

The hand on his back stilled.  “I considered it, when I faced that green chrysalis.  I’m considering it now to face those three greater demons.”  Alec said quietly.

Jace toyed with the soul pendant laying on Alec’s chest, a silent pointed reminder.

“Could take this off.  Bet that would kill the three greater demons and lock us together how you want.”  Jace said casually, glancing up at Alec unsure how he would take that idea of martyrdom, allowing that risk to hang in the air between them.

“No.  You don’t get to die.”  Alec said firmly pulling Jace closer to him.

Jace levered himself up on one arm.  “Neither do you.  If we’re going to plan this attack promise me you won’t reach for that darkness.  You have to trust me to kill those demons.”

“They will have the upperhand, superior knowledge of the terrain, assets from the Unseelie court.”  Alec pointed out.

Jace ran a hand down Alec’s chest.  “You said there is a civil war going on within the Seelie realms.  Could enlist their army that would even the playing field.”  Jace added.

The arms around Jace tightened subtlety.  “The Queen wants you.  I’m not using you to gain an army.”

“The greater demons will run circles around us without them.”  Jace said, twisting the soul charm between his fingers.

Alec swallowed glancing away from Jace.  “I would rather bring the darkness in than hand you to the Queen.”

Jace sat up enough to hover over Alec, holding his face between his hands.  “Promise me, you won’t reach for the darkness.”  He demanded.

Alec stared into Jace’s eyes for a long moment.  “I won’t.”

Jace wanted to believe him.  Wanted to trust his parabati that he would not lie to his face.

_Like you did for months?  Like he did?_

His guilty conscious spat the question back to him.

Reaching up a hand he ran it gently down the side of Alec’s face, tracing his jaw.

“You better.  Let’s ask the Queen first for the army and see if we can get away without needing to hand me over.”  Jace said.

He wanted to trust Alec with this so much, but the painful twisting in his chest told him that he needed physical proof to believe.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jonathan handed Clary his jacket on the walk home to the Institute, she had lost hers when someone stole it after Izzy and the others left.

_Abandoning you to me._

Jonathan smiled at the thought.

“Thanks, Nathan.”  Clary said sliding the jacket over her shoulders and curling into the warmth.  “You know you did not have to beat those werewolves up.  It was just a bit of harmless flirting.”

Jonathan glanced over at Clary, plastering a contrite look across his face.

_Of course, I had to beat them up.  They touched you._

Besides it was close enough to a new moon that Clary should know better than to mess around with a werewolf near that peek time.

He glanced up at the half moon hovering in the sky.

_Mostly close enough._

“You love to play with fire, don’t you?”  Clary smiled over at him, green eyes shining with alcohol and flushed cheeks.

“We are shadowhunters.  We love to play with devils.”  He slung an arm across her shoulders, partly to keep her close and also because he could.  “Some just need more of a push…hrm…no that’s not right.  I believe there is a bit of devil inside all of us because we’re human.  Isn’t that why we have emotions?”

Clary looked over at him clearly trying to muddle through his words in her drunken state.  “Emotions help with focus sometimes and you certainly can’t go through life not feeling anything.”  She nudged his hip with her own.  “So what’s your story?”

Jonathan shrugged casually, glancing behind them to ensure those stupid werewolves were not following.  “Same as anyone.  Dash of pain here, sprinkle of salt in the wounds there, and someone that pulled you out.”

No werewolves, probably still mending their broken bones and dislocated shoulders.

Clary gave him a confused look and laughed for some reason at his response.  “I meant how you’ve been looking at our Head of the Institute and Izzy and I.”  She gestured towards his body.  “You have this allure that draws people, but something is off.  No offense, but Sam might be right about you being insane.”

He pushed away the irritation at her laughing at his pain.

Jonathan smiled predatorily at her at that, chuckling darkly.  “I would never do that to you.  I might have at one time, not now.”  Clary frowned at that, glancing away.

Jonathan continued.  “There is something about power that lures me.  And I cannot place you near that violence.  I care about you too much for that.”

She glanced back, eyes widening.  “So sex is just a power trip for you?”

“Precisely.  That is why I could never do that to you.”  He stroked her face with one finger tracing along her cheekbone.

_You never let me this close before._

“You know you have your moments.  When you aren’t acting like a rabid beast.”  Clary commented with a soft smile, face still flushed from the alcohol.

Jonathan dropped his hand away, guiding her along.  “I can see why the others fell for you.  Clary, you can do so much better than that idiot.”

Clary’s green eyes darkened and narrowed at him.  “Jace is not an idiot.”

Jonathan gave a small hum.  “I meant Sam.  But if you want to include Jace as well, by all means.  He deserves it.”

_Had not meant Sam in the slightest._

“You know who he’s seeing?”  Clary asked bluntly.

Jonathan smirked.  “Some damned soul.”  He shrugged.  “Who knows, you know him better than I.”

Clary gave a soft huff in derision at that.  “You also went on that mission with everyone that took out that chrysalis the entire Institute has been talking about and landed Simon in the infirmary for a couple days.  You are moving up quickly.”

“People tell lies about that.  People tell lies about me too.”  Jonathan informed her moving his head in a small tilt, condescending smile flickering.  “You, Clary, are fickle and no one can trust you because of that.  Not even me.”

Clary stopped walking stunned into stillness, gaping at him.

“You bastard!”  She shouted at him rearing her arm back to slap it across his face.

He caught her wrist.  “Ah, but I know I’m a bastard.  I know I’m a liar.” He gestured at her with his other hand.  “You think you are noble, that you do not lie, cheat.”  He tugged her closer to him.  “That you do not hate.”

Clary jerked her wrist from his grasp, glaring at him as she backed up a step.

“You slaughtered all those vampires.  They were innocent!  Where is your decency?  When you are out on mission do you ever question your actions?  Your emotions?”  She said scathingly suddenly more alert than her intoxicated state implied.

Adrenaline sharpening her senses for a brief moment.

He made certain to hold the green eyes that matched his own.  “No one is innocent, Clary.”  Jonathan stated.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Coffee.

Not exactly the normal drink Jace would go for, but after last night he required it.

_Don’t mix alcohol with whatever that was._

Mental breakdown?  Cognitive snap?

Whatever it was made him feel both exhausted and refreshed today.  Aside from the headache lodged in his brain from the hangover that not even his healing runes could take care of until he physically drank some hydration.  Coffee would help with the headache but not the hydration aspect.

Jace swallowed the bitter, warm liquid allowing it to begin to wake him up.  How Izzy could drink this stuff daily remained lost on him, it tasted terrible.

_But works._

Alec had parted ways with him to sequester himself in a meeting with Maryse about Meliorn’s warning and how to approach reconnaissance and needed reinforcements.

Simon slid into the seat across from him.  “Sorry, we kinda ditched you last night.  Just…Izzy…”  He trailed off blushing.

Jace raised an eyebrow up at Simon before leaning back with a grin, glancing to the side and back.  “I get it, Simon.  It’s fine.  I wanted the quiet anyway.”

Simon appeared relieved.  “Thank God, because Clary chewed me out for it already.”

Jace took a sip of the bitter drink.  “For ditching her at the club with Nathan?”

Simon grimaced.  “Yeah.  That.  Izzy said she wanted somewhere quiet to relax, said the last couple weeks have been ridiculously stressful between Max, Alec, and you.”

_Join the club._

He spotted Clary moving towards them, fire in her green eyes.  He downed the rest of the coffee, the bitter taste hitting his tongue hard and scalding it before landing in his empty stomach where it curdled.

She slammed her hands down on the table by him and Simon.

“You left me alone in that club.  I’m lucky Nathan was there to help me get home.”  Clary snapped, clearly having made the critical error in Jace’s requirement to be her hero last night.

Jace frowned across at Simon, even with the warning he had not anticipated the direct attack.  At least not this early in the morning.

Simon flicked his gaze from Jace to Clary and back again, clearly cringing in his seat and serving no help whatsoever to bail Jace out of this.

“Thanks for the help.”  Jace said sarcastically to Simon before leaning back and throwing on a confident smile for Clary.  “Nathan would not have allowed anything bad happen to you.  That much I know.  Just make sure he keeps his hands off you.  Guys a creep.”

“Not entirely.  I gathered the distinct impression that you two hate each other.”  Clary said clearly thrown by his reaction to not rise to her bait.

Jace turned back to his meager breakfast of an empty coffee cup.  “We do.”

Clary sat down next to him, leaning one arm on the table to look at him, red hair falling across her shoulder.  “So let me get this straight.  Alec won’t let me work with select people because of a suspected romantic interest, but he’s fine with people hating each other on missions?”

Jace grimaced before his brain remembered a crucial point to that little mission.  “It was unsanctioned.  Nathan went in there alone.  I just tailed his sorry ass.  He is lucky he was not skewered by whatever crawled out of that chrysalis.”

_And Alec followed me, resulting in far too many pointy roots trying to kill me._

Clary smiled slightly at that.  “Bet Alec loved that.”

_He ordered it._

Jace felt his mouth twist in a mockery of both a frown and a smile at that thought.  How different Alec was compared to who he had been before Magnus and Edom.  “Yeah, we were lucky Simon and Izzy came to save everyone.”  He glanced over at a now beaming Simon, brown eyes alight.

“You people need to start thinking outside the box.  Stabbity swords and pokey weapons cannot save your asses all the time.”  Simon replied with a grin.

“Those stabbity swords have kept me alive thus far.”  Jace tossed back with a self-assured smile.

A random thought occurred to him that might help with their three greater demons problem.

“Simon, head down to Alec or Maryse’s office.  Tell them I sent you and hope that you might provide a way to think outside the box.”  Jace told Simon.

Simon tilted his head, furrowing his brow in clear confusion.  “Um…sure?”

Jace made a shooing motion.

“I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”  Clary whispered staring at Jace.

“You don’t.”  Jace sighed, swallowing back the sharp tang of coffee flavor bile as his stomach gave a small lurch.  “Look, Clary, what you did.  Destroyed a little under six months’ worth of trust you had built up with myself, Izzy, and Alec.  It’s going to take a long time and a lot of effort for any of us to trust you again.”

Clary spread her arms out wide, tilting her head.  “I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal when nothing would have come of it in the first place.”

Cold anger and sharpening fear snapped through his gut.

“The Clave tortured Alec for returning from Edom.  For not giving them the answers they wanted to hear.  He had a Silent Brother probing around in his mind for hours for telling the truth.  You really think they will go easy on two parabati?”  Jace hissed quietly, staring daggers at her.

His stomach gave another swoop at the memory of that Silent Brother watching him from across the Main Ops Center.

Clary’s mouth fell open slightly as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.  “I didn’t know.”  She whispered in dawning horror.

“Yeah, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”  Jace snapped irritated at his stomach and Clary for destroying his refreshed feeling.

Clary reared her head back, eyes flaring before narrowing in wrath.  “Like the girls you fucked in the alleyway?  I’m not dumb Jace, you had someone with you last night.”

_Damnit._

He shot her an incredulous glare.  “I was sleeping.”

He had technically been asleep, passed out across the floor when they came to get him.

“Sleeping.”  She said flatly.  “At seven at night when most shadowhunters start missions.”

“He neglected to tell you about my breaking and entering into Alec’s office.”  Jonathan drawled as he sat down across from the two bickering.  “You were an unexpected addition to that pleasant conversation.  But I understand the sentiment to keep me out now.”

Jace eyed Jonathan sharply before sensing an opening, he pointed towards Jonathan.  “First off, you should not have been breaking into Alec’s office regardless of how fucking happy he was to see you.”  Turning to Clary.  “Second, it does not matter when I decide to take a nap.”

Jace felt the bloomings of glee sweep through him at Clary’s expression, staring at Jonathan from Jace’s first comment.

“Addition?”  Clary pressed.

The glee of victory vanished.

Jonathan flattened one hand out on the table.  “Oh, we kicked Jace out long before anything exciting happened.”  He drawled, smirking across at Jace.

Jace snorted at the blatant lie.

Jonathan had announced the cure to Simon’s vampirism.  That detonation of excitement searching for some cure to extract demonic essence.

_From souls…_

He would need to ask Alec about that little side project sometime.

“So it is true!”  Clary cried, derailing Jace’s thought and looking at Jonathan and his dark black hair and cold green eyes.  “Is this because he’s the leader of the Institute?  The power…thing.”  Clary continued.

Jace raised an eyebrow towards Jonathan at the sudden turn around, feeling himself frown at the blatant insinuation Clary apparently thought of that relationship.

Jonathan smiled evilly at Jace before turning a charming smile to Clary.  “You are quite interested in power as well.”  He gestured with a knife towards Jace.  “Angel blooded blond over here or that weaker version.”

Clary flushed ducking her head briefly before straightening and holding her head high.  “At least I want to have a relationship.  You just want to use people.”  She hissed at Jonathan.

_You both use people.  No wonder you are siblings._

Jace stood up prepared to duck out of this conversation before more graves were dug with him thrown in one.

Jonathan shrugged one shoulder up watching Clary with cold green eyes.

Jace left before Clary could drag him back into that messed up conversation again, ignoring her call as he tossed the empty mug on the conveyer belt to be taken to the kitchens and cleaned.  He made it halfway to the training room before she caught up.

“Jace, wait.  I’m sorry about that.  Can we just train together?  We don’t have to talk.”  Clary pleaded slowing down from her dash to walk beside him.

Jace went to say- No.

_“I thought action was your creed.”_

He glanced over at Clary.  Train alone with her, face that battle with action.  Surprisingly he felt ready to face that, none of the terror rose up, no convulsion in his hand at the thought, no voices talking in his head with memories.

“Sure.”  He replied calmly.

Clary beamed at him.

Jace quashed the guilt of using her as a test subject for his own mental health, moving into the training hall and selecting a sword, blade sharp.  Turning he saw her hesitate seeing the sharpened weapon, before picking up her own.

Jace took a breath, closing his eyes to help himself focus.

_I’m in my body.  I control my actions, nothing else._

He opened his eyes and walked over to the center of the room dropping into a defensive stance, one foot forward, blade crossed before his body, waiting.

Clary attacked first in three quick overhead blows, that he easily deflected each time barely needing to only move his arm to deflect each attack.

_Sloppy.  Emotional._

She tried an underhand attack next that he deflected again, tilting his blade so they glanced off each other with ease.

With a growl she tried a lunging forward attack.

Jace swiped her blade to the side and smacked her on top of the head with the pommel in a pointed maneuver that her guard was nonexistent.

“I think you need to work on your fighting skills, Clary.”  Jace smirked feeling some of his old self return as the fight continued without the rising terror and memories.

Clary shook her head to clear it from the ringing before resuming a defensive stance.  “I think you might have overdone training lately.  You reflexes are a lot faster than I remember.”  She replied, green eyes blazing in her need to attempt to best him.

Jace struck her in the chest with the flat of his palm, sweeping her leg out from under her laying her out flat on the floor.  He dropped his blade over his shoulder as he paced away from her.  “I think you are getting slower.”  Glancing towards the door as Izzy strode in.

Izzy stopped with her hands on her hips looking at Jace.  “We’re going to Zayde’s.  We’re getting the dangerous orbs and you are my pack mule.”  She announced.

_Looks like the start of the plan has begun._

Jace pointed the sword at her.  “No hundred pound chains this time.”  Jace warned.

Izzy smirked.  “I’ve got a list.  Chains are on that list.  Be glad I caught you now and not after ten hours of training.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Planning an assault tactic in an unknown realm with oscillating ground made for one giant surprise and a larger headache.

The goal was simple; kill three greater demons.

For Alec, the unpredictability of all three left planning a strike within the depths of the Unseelie realm nearly impossible.  Which just meant he had to keep searching over the few cases of the Unseelie realms they had access to and try and ignore the urge to use a hellhound to track the beasts for him.  Simon’s idea to contain the demons as they had Lilith had merits if Izzy could make it happen.

The door clicked shut but he could see who it was from the corner of his eye as he read the file before him.

“Pure one.”  Jonathan said cold green eyes sharpening on him.  “Clary is digging.”

“She can dig all she wants.  I have three demons to kill.  So do you.”  Alec replied barely glancing up.

Jonathan crossed the room circling around the mahogany desk, filtered rainbow colored light crossing his features from the stained glass window of the Angel behind Alec.  He leaned over Alec pressing their foreheads together.

The sharp press of a blade against his arm jolted Alec’s gaze down briefly, watching the red blood swell slightly from the small cut.

“My creator.  My destroyer awakened.  You were given a gift.”  Jonathan leaned into Alec harder sending a small uncomfortable pressure against the front of his skull.  “Use it.”  He whispered.

“I gave you a life.  Don’t throw it away.”  Alec returned, unmoving, unphased by the threat.

Jonathan straightened up, wiping the blade across his sleeve casually.  “Then send me to kill the Unseelies until you have enough green ichor to track the demons connected to their realm.  I know the symbols to etch on the ground, all it takes is you.  Or Magnus, but he seems to want to keep interaction with shadowhunters to a minimum.”

“That would take hundreds before you could even deduce one trace element linked to the demons sequestered there.  They would know what you intend long before that.”  Alec responded, lightly rubbing at the small cut smearing the red blood across his arm before it could form into a rolling drop down his skin.

Jonathan turned the knife up in his hands before pressing it point first into Alec’s chest, directly over his heart between two ribs.

Alec sucked in a sharp breath.

“You forget.  I saw you before the chrysalis.”  Jonathan said almost lovingly.  The pain from the point of the blade increased.  “Pure one.” Jonathan mocked.

Alec reached a hand up to close around the knife blade, hand brushing against his shirt and the soul pendant underneath.

_When I was the demon of Edom._

Not anymore.

He had not been that beast since locking himself inside the chrysalis, dragging himself further from that reality when he gained his soul back.  Further since allowing the parabati bond to take hold.

He wrenched the blade away from his chest, feeling the blade slice into his palm in a sharp bite.

“You gave me that choice.  That chance.  You would be my first soul.”  Alec hissed into his face.

Jonathan laughed, parting his lips on a smile.  “There’s my angelic devil.”  He tapped the flat of the blade on Alec’s shoulder.  “Tell me.  What does sanity feel like today?”

Alec jerked back away from Jonathan, bumping his head into the tall chairs back behind him.  “Jace.”  Alec hissed lowly.  “Where is your struggle and pain today, because you seem to want to squander it for madness.”  He snapped.

Jonathan gazed at him steadily for a moment at the unique response, expression shifting to twisted amusement.  “Madness is peace.  You know that.”

Alec took the blade from Jonathan setting it on the desk.  “You are good, Jonathan.”  He reached up to touch the hair he knew was red, not black.  “You have survived this.  Everything they have taken from you.  You survived it, even when no one else thinks you did.  I know you did.”

Jonathan blinked slowly, hooding his gaze from Alec.  “She distrusts me, even now.”

The crux of the problem.  Unable to move forward until Clary accepted Jonathan in some way.

_I don’t trust her._

Alec withheld the destructive comment.

It would not help Jonathan and Clary as his family.  A sister that had decided to reach out to her brother several times but had been unable to help him.  Unable to reach past the barriers of Jonathan’s life being raised by Lilith and tortured.  Unable to show him what a family bond should look like.  How could she?  She had grown up with a loving mother, in a mundane world free of demonic violence.  Lucian had been an acting father figure for her entire life.  She understood love certainly, she did not understand the pain Jonathan had endured.

Alec searched Jonathan’s face, eyes finding the cracks, the pain, the emotional betrayal of being left behind, forgotten, and abandoned.

Things he could identify in himself before his mother changed and accepted her children for who they were, before Jace understood that life could not center on only himself and saw him, all the tiny cuts of being placed last because he was the eldest and expected to be better.  Being forgotten because others meant more.

_Never good enough._

“Look up.”  Alec instructed.

Jonathan’s green gaze flicked back up to Alec.

_Such cold green eyes._

“She forgave you for what you did as your demonic self.  She had hope for you when you were locked in that cell.”

Jonathan hissed between his teeth.  “She never came to my court appointed death.  Abandoned me to my fate, unable to see me as anything more than a monster needing to be put down.”

Alec went rigid, snapping his eyes closed at those words.

The words hit to close to his struggle, tearing at the hope and warm, tender emotions locked in his heart, wanting to spill them to one person again and again.

_“Promise me...”_

“I will continue to protect you.”  Alec said.  “You are never alone.  Not with me.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“It’s going to happen again.”  Jace said.

Jace glanced over at Clary coated in mud from an earlier spill down the hillside.  He kept his amusement concealed at her disgruntled appearance, mud sticking in her red hair.

Izzy strode along beside him wearing tall black boots that amazingly did not have a heel.

_Guess even Izzy has to bend to the power of mud._

Or risk getting stuck every few steps as the high heels undoubtedly would sink in like pikes.

Clary tried dusting more of the mud off her pants only serving to smear it further.  “That was intentional.”

“Sure.”  Jace drawled.

Izzy rolled her eyes, before sending Clary a sideways look.

The only reason she had caved to allowing Clary to join them was due to the list of materials she wanted to purchase in an attempt to capture the three greater demons in the Unseelie realm.  She needed the manpower to haul the cache back home.

“What do you need these for anyway?”  Jace asked digging for any plans that had begun to form.

He had missed his chance to talk to Alec about it between the brief training session and leaving for the day long hike to the middle of nowhere.

Izzy smiled waving a schematic in her hands.  “I’m making a box.”

“A box.”  Jace deadpanned at her reluctance to explain her schematic.

“It’s a really big box.”  She added with a mischievous smile.

Then he understood, she would tell him.  She just wanted to make him work for it, like he had done to her about him and Alec.

“You really need to let that grudge go.”  Jace muttered, glancing away guiltily.  He probably deserved her wrath after the recent revelation about Jonathan.

Izzy narrowed her eyes at him letting out a noncommittal hum to his comment.

Jace blew out a breath, preparing himself to be the interrogator in this little game.  “Fine.  Is this box similar to your Malachi contraption?”

Izzy beamed a wide grin and nearly gave a little skip of joy at the first question.

“Maybe…”  She drawled with a smirk.

_That’s a yes._

“And where are you getting the numbers to set it in accordance with the three we are hunting?”  Jace asked curious about her math and equations required to create three of these contraptions.

Izzy’s eyes slid over to Clary on the other side of Jace.  “Oh, I’m certain you and Alec have a trump card hidden up your sleeve I can use to come up with the needed matrices and settings.  Or I can work with Magnus like I did last time, he and I made a good team solving the problem to house both angelic and demonic energy.  At least this time I won’t have to worry about that insanely complicated balance.  I have an idea forming but not created yet to make those numbers a bit more concrete.”

Jace shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, resisting the urge to hunch over.

Meliorn had gone to Alec rather than Izzy, implying he needed the Head of the Institute and his backing rather than their wasted efforts towards Lilith and Jonathan.  The only difference was that this time the demons resided on Meliorn’s homeland rather than wandering Jace’s world.

He glued his lips shut with effort, unwilling to say anything further.

“Three?”  Clary asked into the silence that had formed.

“Three greater demons wandering around places they should not be.”  Jace replied easily to the simple question.  “I’m certain Maryse or Alec will be announcing the plan within a week or two depending on weapons status and recon.”

_Faster if they can._

Clary’s mouth fell open, face paling slightly.  “We barely handled one greater demon with you Jace.  How the hell do they plan to take on three?”

_Promise me…_

Jace steeled his heart against that possibility, refusing to let it form across his face.

“Something that involves:  stupid and simple.”  Jace muttered scathingly more to himself than either of the two walking with him.

Izzy shot him a concerned glance at that.

“He’s got a Plan B already worked out.  I just disagree with it.”  Jace explained, brow furrowing as he recalled their conversation last night.

_Immensely.  To the point I considered ripping that soul pendant off last night._

Jace rubbed his fingers across his own Herondale ring, feeling its weight in his hand.

Izzy canted her arm down, silver whip uncoiling easily.  She gave him a small smirk, a warning, before she spun the whip towards his head.

He ducked it easily then jumped over her downward attack, landing on the ground and dropping back into an easy stroll, smiling now.

The old move showing her forgiveness of him.  All that was missing was Alec on the other side of her as she spun.  They used to make a game out of who could dodge her whip the longest, preforming aerial combat maneuvers until they were exhausted or one of them was struck.  Izzy had never grown tired of the game, it taught her control and kept them alert for hours when they were younger.

“I miss those days sometimes.”  Izzy commented lightly going into a single spin, whip following her as she traveled the earth.

_Me too.  Sometimes._

Back when their worries had been lesser demons and each other.  Funny how that was still his priority it just encompassed a lot more people now.  Simon, Max, his trainees.

He glanced over at Clary, red hair shining in the sunlight.  She was watching him as if trying to uncover a puzzle.

Probably still worried about her, just at a different level now.  Something more reserved, but he certainly did not want her hurt or dead.  More like a comrade than someone he lusted for now.  There were days he missed talking to her, letting her know what his life had become but her clear aggression towards a hint of him and Alec stopped him.

Izzy struck the side of his shoulder with her palm, jostling him in the path.

“Not always.”  He responded to her earlier reminiscing.  “We were all idiots then.  Thought we could take on everything just the three of us.”

Izzy hummed an affirmative but he could sense her raising an eyebrow his direction.  Admitting he had messed up, no matter how long ago not like him.

“We did take on everything.”  Clary pointed out.

_No we definitely did not.  I died._

Izzy took a few jogging steps forward. “Race you to the next hill.”   Izzy called over her shoulder choosing to lighten the mood and stop the monotony of the walk, black hair already beginning to wave out behind her.

Jace took off after her, hearing Clary chase them.

He passed Izzy a moment before gaining the top of the hill that would lead down to the rundown looking establishment disguising the talented weaponsmith inside.  Or fancy scrap metal extraordinaire.

_Zayde’s._

“You dragged us out here for that.”  Grumbled Clary upon reaching the top of the hill and peering down at the building.

Izzy smiled sauntering forward.  “Appearances can be deceiving.”

Upon entry Zayde appeared just as eager to sell to them as he had prior.  Lavishing praise towards various whips for Izzy and attempting to offer Jace a dagger he had crafted.

Izzy handed him a separate sheet of paper, her list.  “Everything there we’ll be taking.”

Zayde brushed his long dark hair back over his shoulder as he took the list from Izzy.  Jace could practically see the dollar signs racking upwards in number in the guy’s head before he grinned sweet and charming at Izzy and began to gather the list for them.

First thing he placed on the counter- a large hefty adamas infused chain.

_My back will hate you, Izzy._

“Which one of you will be carrying the orbs?  I need to give you a tea to carry them safely.”

Izzy gestured to herself.  “I will.”

Clary’s weighted gaze had not left Jace often the entire trek here and with a sigh Jace turned to her throwing on his cocky smile and crossing his arms across his chest.

“Go ahead, ask me.”

Clary froze for a moment, gaze shifting to a deer caught in headlights before smoothing into something mildly affronted.  “Ask you what?”  She asked briskly.

He gestured over towards where Izzy was inspecting the chains and metal.  “I know you did not want to hike all this way with Izzy.  And after this morning I know you still have some unresolved steam rolling around in that head of yours.”  Jace said making a gesture of rotating his hand through the air like smoke.

“Why didn’t you stop him?”  Clary asked quietly.

_Him?_

“Alec.”  Clary clarified.

That did not help Jace uncover what she meant or implied.  The extensive list of things not to discuss with Clary kept his mouth shut.

Clary inhaled shakily and suddenly he understood.

“Alec did everything he could to stop them from killing Jonathan.  He went to Idris and argued on his behalf.  He lost a lot of political power and votes because of that move.”

Clary glanced at him shrewdly, she must have received the messages from Idris while at the Shadowhunter Academy during that time.  The instructors probably made it into a field day on the woes of mixing demon blood with Nephilim.

Jace ran a hand through his blond hair.  “Remember when he first arrived at the Institute.  You and Alec were fucking ecstatic to see him.  It was…”  _Abhorrent.  Nauseating._ “…strange.”

Clary went to move towards Jace, but he intentionally placed a stand of swords between them.  She stopped watching him for a moment.  “I just miss everyone.  I thought everything was getting better and then it all fell apart so fast.  And then none of you trusted me, I was sent away, and then Jonathan was killed.  I have no one left.”  She sounded like she might start crying again.

That struck a nerve, hitting deep and scoring that raw part of him that had watched his father die, his anger sparked.

Jace drew his head back incredulous.  “You have someone.  You have a father.  Lucian.  He raised you your entire life.”  Jace bit out.  “You have the new trainees, you have been working well with some of them.  I thought you were getting close with some of them.”

“Who?  Sam?  Nathan?”  She whispered scathingly, green eyes blazing at him.

An uncomfortable feeling sawed through him, similar to guilt but linked to annoyance.

Jace shot a glance towards where Izzy had accrued a ridiculously large pile of chains, weapons and had stacked the stakes that had reminded Jace of the Malachi Configuration the last time he was here off to the side.

“What about Simon?  He stuck by you literally through death.  Just because he’s not your love interest means he has no value to you now.”  The words flew before Jace fully realized, eyes wide staring at her across the swords.

Clary jolted as if struck.

“Clary, there are more people in your life than just me.  Just because you made one wrong decision and lost me does not mean you throw yourself into this pit of depression.” Jace continued voice deadly in his restrained irritation.

Clary narrowed her eyes at him.  “Since when did you get introspective?”

“Since I realized there is more to life than just myself and you.”  Jace snapped, eyes flaring from his own realization.

Clary pressed her lips together in a thin line.  “Tact, use it.”

Jace thinned his lips at the rude jibe.  “Detachment, learn it.” He shot back caustically.

“Hey, pack mules!  Get over here!”  Called Izzy downing a small cup of tea before scooping up a sealed box.  “And both of you have to walk ten feet from me.  I do not want any accidents.”  She hefted the box in her arms easily.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“I see your pack mules managed to bring back more than ordered.”  Alec stated from the doorway, eyeing the sealed crate.  It hummed with a strange energy.

Izzy glanced over from the forge she was currently melting chunks of adamas infused chain down from, but did not speak focusing on the coloring of the metal as it melted in the hot forge.

_“I’m not melting hundreds of swords the Iron Sisters crafted on something that might work.”_

_“This is not a test of your skills.”_

_“Is it?”_

_“Your skills captured Jonathan and I.  You can do this.”_

_“And if I fail?”_

_“That’s what Plan B, C, and D are for.”_

_“Because that worked so well.”_

_“I won’t let you fail.”_

_“That’s what I’m afraid of.”_

The conversation before she had left, after Simon had surprisingly offered an unlikely solution to splitting up three greater demons in a realm that never remained the same wandered through his mind leaving him feeling cold.

The sharp pop and grind of more metal being added to the current creation, something that looked like a long pole at the moment, jolted him back into the moment.

“I owe Jace a meal now after that hike.”  Izzy informed her brother with a small smile.  “Said I took him out of commission because he had to activate his strength, endurance, and I quote ‘every damn rune.’”  She gestured with one hand towards empty space.  “He lit up like those sparkly lights the mundanes put out during winter.  Never seen him do that, but Clary did not seem surprised.”

He knew she was watching him for a reaction, but considering Jace glowing golden was nothing new to him either his body language never shifted.

Alec skirted around the edge of the room keeping far from the box.  “He’s had the ability since Clary.  Part of his genetics transferring over into the angelic power.  What’s in the box?”

Izzy hammered down at the slab of metal in front of her, turning it and hammering again, repeating the process several times working her way along the metal before shoving it back in the furnance.  “Part of the plan to entrap the three greater demons.  They suck up energy from any source and once used they turn into dirt.  A Seelie specialty my secret weaponsmith makes.”

Alec raised an eyebrow up at her, taking a deliberate step further from the box.

Izzy gave a short chuckle.  “It’s not going to eat you.”  She said.

“I can feel it from here.”  Alec responded flatly.

Izzy’s face morphed into confused awe.  “Really?  Noted.  I’ll need to make adjustments to mask the orbs presence.  What does it feel like?”

Alec glanced over towards the sealed box and the strange buzzing of empty space around it.  “Buzzing.”

Izzy gave him a strange look.

Alec shrugged in apology unable to give her anything further, mouth thinning uncomfortably at the box.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Hello, Clary.”

Jonathan called to the red head as she sat among the flowers and plants growing in the greenhouse drawing a sketch on her notepad in pencil.

Clary glanced up and he could see the sheen of withheld tears shining there.

_Who hurt you?_

“Nathan.  Hey.”  Clary said shakily, returning back to the sketch.

The other self, no longer her brother.  Hidden.  Someone who could get closer to her.

_Make a connection.  A bond._

Jonathan tilted his head to the side and down slightly.  “I’m sorry for your pain.”  He pitched his voice softly.

Clary gave him a watery smile, not quite looking up.  “Not your fault.  I thought I was in love with someone and they can’t stand me now.”  She scoffed looking away.  “Couldn’t even protect my own brother.  I told him I would try and save him and I did nothing.”

Nathan sat down beside her searching her pale face for a glimpse of love or compassion for himself.  “You did.  Well, you must have had a part in it.  It was all over the news when your brother was brought before the Clave to be sentenced as a Shadowhunter.”  He smiled at the next memory as he held the sword in his mind’s eye.  “I remember the shock of seeing that Soul Sword held in hands that should have burnt up the moment it touched skin.”

Clary sniffled.  “I couldn’t watch the execution when they sent the videos out.”  She turned her head back to face him, green eyes brimming with pain.  “I should have been there for him.  No one else was.”

_My creator was._

Jonathan frowned at the other emotion forming inside him.  Cocking his head slightly attempting to analyze it.  Acceptance?

He dismissed it.  He loved his sister but he also understood she was fickle and could only truly hold one person at a time in her heart.  Her obsession with Jace even through the twinning rune and still choosing the blond when he needed her more grated across his nerves even now.

“I believe our illustrious leader was there and burned the body, releasing his soul to the Heavens.” He gestured towards the sky.  “Shouldn’t that count for something?  He’s not a devil.”

Clary’s mouth dropped open slightly.

He continued before she could catch the small slip.  “Clary, everyone knew your brother single handedly wiped out an entire Institute, maybe more.  Whatever happened that you or anyone else in this blasted place did to bring him back obviously worked.  Otherwise we would have all been able to watch him burn up in a blaze of heavenly fire the moment he touched that sword.”  Jonathan explained slightly irritated that now she chose to grieve for him rather than when he had been alive and needed her.

The few weeks she had spent in the Silent City when she had visited had been nice, but she had always been wary of him.  Never fully dropping her guard when he attempted to discuss the Institute and especially herself or any of her relationships with friends or romantic interests, especially avoided that touchy subject with him.  Not exactly his fault he wanted to kill Jace back then, the blond had been destroying his carefully orchestrated plans with dubious ease.

_And now he is stopping my last chance at revenge._

“You are the first person to say that.”  Clary said awed green eyes widening.  “No one else understood he had a chance to be good, to turn back from his ways.”  She closed the sketchpad she was working on abruptly.  “It just was not enough.  Even Alec caved and killed him.  His only saving grace was that he had enough pity to burn the body.”

Jonathan turned his body to fully face her, bringing one leg up to bend under him.  “Then use those emotions for what you want.  What do you want Clary?”

“My brother back.  Jace back.”  She said softly, playing with the pencil in her hand, a sort of random bounce between her palms.

_You did tell me you would kill me with your bare hands once.  I doubt your convictions._

Jonathan grasped her forearm, gaining her attention and her green eyes to look at him.  “You need to choose what you want otherwise your decisions are taken from you.  You are full of conviction but never move forward until the original decision has been removed from you.”

How could she not see that her hesitation in killing Valentine had cost her Jace.  Her hesitation to help him had cost her himself in her eyes.  Her decision making had left a swathe of pain any demon could sense for miles around.

_Perhaps that is why I love you so much.  You could be so destructive and not even know it.  You were willing to let everyone else you love die for one man, but that man was not me._

Clary frowned not understanding.

He leaned forward into her space attempting to convince her to do something, anything with her life other than this stupid, pointless pining.  “You wanted to save your brother.  Yet, you made no move to do so until the chance to do anything had been removed from your own hands to be played with by others.”

Clary shook her head.  “You don’t understand, Nathan.  I did everything I could-“

“No!”  Jonathan stood up abruptly.  “You didn’t!”  He took a breath attempting to gain control of his anger back, huffing out another breath in a growl of irritation.  “Perhaps Alec was correct in separating our team.  You would have only had eyes to protect Sam.  Or Jace.”  He said bitterly before swiftly walking away from her.

“Nathan!” Clary snatched up her sketchpad and ran to catch up to him.  “Look I’m sorry our unit was dismantled.”

Jonathan stared at her unwilling to give her anything to uncover what he felt about that.  “We have training soon.  Perhaps you should spend that time practicing rather than wistfully staring at the blond.”

“I don’t stare at Jace.”  She grumbled crossing an arm across her sketchpad in front of her chest.

Jonathan smiled sardonically at her.  “Good to know you still have your priorities pointedly aligned towards the angel blooded idiot.”

Clary had the decency to flush and look away having been caught out.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The flush across Alec’s face from the exertion as their blades clashed again might have been distracting before whatever they had had developed into a fairly continuous event.  It still was distracting, yet Jace could still focus easily, falling into the rhythm of the mock fight.

On reflex, Jace kicked out almost catching Alec in the ribs only to be deflected by his arm.

Alec had located him originally to discuss needing to travel to the Seelie realm to deliberate joining their armies with the Queen and had resulted in a battle between bodies as they each tried to outsmart the other and hold a decent conversation.

The conversation had failed ten minutes ago when Jace kicked it up a notch trying to see how fast they could attack and deflect using the parabati bond.

Alec swung both blades towards his chest in a horizontal attack.

Jace caught them both with the single blade he had been challenging himself with, twisting down the same moment he stepped within range bringing his free hand up sharply to swing his hand up to latch around Alec’s throat tightening reflexively.

Alec froze, panting from exertion.

“Dead.”  Jace taunted with a smirk.

_Dead.  Dead.  Dead._

The previous Seelie Queen’s voice taunted across his mind briefly, not enough to sink in.  A reminder of what they would soon be dealing with to gain an army.

Just so long as he did not end up entangled in vines, drugged, or worse Jace was willing to travel to that realm.

_Fuck._

Who was he kidding he abhorred the idea of traveling to that realm, felt his stomach clench at the thought just as much as his hand tightened on Alec’s throat.

He loosened his grip and dropped his hand realizing he had held the maneuver a heartbeat to long.

“You don’t have to come.”  Alec said rubbing at his throat slightly, dark eyes watching him.

“Yes, I do.”  Jace replied belligerently before launching another sweeping attack bringing his blade horizontally across Alec’s body forcing him back.

Alec raised both his blades back up over his head needing to hop back slightly to dodge the attack.

Jace lunged forward brutally attacking Alec in side swiping swings forcing him back across the training hall quickly.

Alec deflected all but one he lashed out towards Jace’s side forcing him to stop his quick advance and retreat himself.

He could see the concentration forming in Alec’s eyes for the next attack.  Jace beat him to it, slamming his sword repeatedly over head into Alec’s guard.

Once.  Twice.  Three times.

Jace kicked Alec in the chest enough to send him into a tumble backwards that he rolled into to recover, barely missing Jace’s blade as he slammed it into the ground where Alec had just been.

“You’re holding back, parabati.”  Jace called smirking at the retreat.

Alec let out a laugh at that, something warm and carefree before launching himself back into the fight.

_There you are._

Jace could feel Alec reaching for him on his end of the parabati bond allowing them to understand each other’s moves intricately, passing blades close enough that Jace could feel the soft brush of wind as it passed.

_Move. Faster._

Adrenaline and warmth poured into him leaving him half in a trance of the back and forth.

_Attack faster._

Aware he was smiling now, just as much as Alec was knowing they could not hurt the other as much as they clashed.

“Wow.”

The fight broke, both bringing their weapons down in unison.

Jace glanced over to the training room’s entrance where the girl with long black hair he had flattened on her first training day, Nicole, stared gaping at him, clearly having been the one who had spoken.  Clary and Jonathan stood with her, Clary stared stunned.  Jonathan wandered over to gather up the required weapons for today’s training, briefly flitting cold green eyes towards them but otherwise ignoring them.

Jace looked over at Alec breathing hard.  “I won.”  He called cockily, smiling.

Alec set his dual swords back in the rack, one corner of his lips turning up slightly, the only tell now that the others were here.  “This evening.”  He said in response to their earlier discussion about the Seelie Queen.  “And take a nap beforehand.  I doubt this mission will go smoothly.”

“Sure it will.  I’ll be there.  Jace said.

“It’s the Queen.  It never goes smoothly.”  Alec replied, something regretful in his voice.

Jace pinned him with a look, surprised when Alec stopped moving back towards the door.  “Remember your promise to me.”  Before turning to the trainees.  “Alright, stop gawking.  Grab your weapons and get in positions.”  Jace snapped out with a sharp wide gesture towards the weapons rack.

He felt Alec’s gaze for a long moment before it left, feeling the warmth from the parabati rune shift back to its usual flow, leaving him colder than he felt before the carefree fight.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The Seelie forest felt colder than usual, a living entity reflecting the moods of the Queen and her court.  The trek to the Seelie Queen’s court would take another hour of slogging through the dense trees and undergrowth, a task Jace had expected.  One of several hurdles the Seelies always seemed to implement, insisting on misguiding their guests.

“No welcoming party?”  Clary complained lifting a her foot from a particularly muddy section of the ground.

Izzy leaned slightly towards Clary.  “Does the princess need a carriage to get through the muck?  You could always burn the entire forest to the ground.  Oh, wait.  You did that.”

Clary shot Izzy a foul look.  “I was trying to protect the mundanes.  What shadowhunters are supposed to do.”

“Suppose to not start a war.”  Izzy muttered drily.

“I stopped one.”  Clary hissed back.

“Not helping.”  Jace grumbled towards the two bickering.

Why Alec had allowed Clary to tag along, Jace had no idea.  But her stomping into Alec’s office directly before they left demanding to attend this mission had led to a brief discussion and Alec had strangely relented.

_At least Jonathan is not here._

Jace paused in another step over a dead log, shifting his footing to avoid the anthill under his foot, before carefully stepping over some loose vines impinging his path.

_Queen gets pissed when her tiny little subjects die._

Jace wondered just how many of her annoying pests died on a daily basis just from her own knights running through the forest.

_Bet they don’t have to endure choking vines and drugged liquids._

Meliorn stepped out from the trees to guide them the rest of the way through the forest.  Inclining his head slightly, which Izzy returned as was their custom.  “You are here by invitation.  She will see you now.”

Jace bit back his scoffing laugh, turning it into a cough and clicked his tongue once.

Out of the corner of his eye he watched Alec nod, once.

_Awesome, short range comms work in the Seelie realms._

Now to ensure the Queen did not notice they had them and still manage to obtain an army.  They would require the comms to implant Izzy’s Malachi configuration correctly.

They were brought directly before the Queen.  She sat as a pubescent child, long hair rolling down her shoulders, and a latticework of vines and plants across her body.

Jace forced himself not to release a breath of relief that she had not selected an adult half-naked form, still felt his nerves jumping when she tracked him across the grounds to stand before her.

Alec nudged their shoulders together.  “Let’s get the army before you give her the death stare.” He whispered into his ear.

Jace could not take his gaze off the Queen.  She had drugged him, coerced him towards her bed, and then used him as her own personal assassin, pinning the death on the shadowhunters if it was ever brought to light rather than her own guard.

Alec and Izzy both stepped forward to greet the queen.

“What brings you to my court, shadowhunters?”  The Queen’s gaze scanned them all, holding briefly over Clary before landing on Alec.

Alec spoke smoothly, gaining his Head of the Institute persona in a blink.  “We have already made amends with you for one of our members past actions.  And we seek to continue our mutual interest in survival, the demons intentionally attacked you during your reveal.”

The Queen smiled patronizingly at Alec.  “I will not hand over my army to a bunch of shadowhunters to throw away their lives.” 

Alec clenched his jaw tightly enough that Jace could see it from where he stood.

“You had no problem using a shadowhunter as an assassin to even the playing field with the Unseelie court.”  Jace said, focus back on the Queen.

One of the guards leaned over to whisper something in the Queen’s ear.

The Queen arched one brow up.  “Indeed, and he did so well.”  Her focus landed on him.  “And then your monster destroyed that other abomination for us.”  She smiled slowly at Alec.

Izzy stepped forward.  “We’re honored that you believe our warriors abilities hold enough sway to assist in your own civil war.  Intentional or not, the destruction of that weapon assisted both you and ourselves.  We wish to continue down that path and take out the three demons wandering your lands.”

Jace tensed, her words were bold yet held an element of poise he would never have been able to manage to the Queen right now.

“Indeed, and how does your warrior feel about that honor?”  The queen’s gaze had not left Alec.

Jace could sense the tension from Alec through the parabati bond at that question, physically there was only a slight twitch of his hand.

“We need your army to kill the three demons that crawled into your realm during your reveal.  Your own guards could not stop them from entering.  Learn to ask for help.”  Jace said quite abruptly.  He was done with this game and he already knew she responded to direct when her earlier counterpart had not.

The Queen’s smile dropped, gaze riveting on Jace pinning him in place with her forest colored eyes.  “And will you give yourself for this army, Jace Herondale?”

“Hey!”  Clary bolted forward inserting herself between the Queen and Jace in a flash.

In a blinding instant Jace understood exactly why Alec had caved to allow Clary to tag along.  Protection and deflection for himself.  Clary would still have amends to say for burning up the revel even if Jace had managed to wipe that from her record with the Queen, he knew it would not be forgotten.

“You want the demons stopped from killing your people and taking over your lands.  Then let us in to fight them alongside your army.  Jace owes you nothing.”  Clary hissed, red hair flying behind her.

“Your parabati earned you part of the army.  What will you do for the rest?”  She looked towards Clary as she spoke, but Jace understood she meant either himself or Alec.

_Chrysalis or the black winged boy…which one earned it?_

Alec raised his voice, gaze locking on the Queen.  “The Unseelies entrapped one of your own in the hopes to birth a monster that you could control long enough to kill all three with.  Irrespective which side of your civil war began that process the formation of that monster on New York soil classifies as weapons of war.  That’s assuming you did not make it-”

The Queen stiffened at the accusation, before turning her gaze from Jace and Clary towards Alec, digging her nails across her throne lightly.

_What the hell are you doing, Alec?  We need her to like us._

“-yourself with what you stole from the original that Shadowhunters destroyed months ago.  You lack the resources to truly kill the demons.  You may be able to capture and lock them into the earth, but you cannot destroy them.  You have more than enough motive to use a captured Unseelie to try a desperate experiment to avoid bringing shadowhunters into your realm.  Your realms are typically impenetrable, but not when you have three greater demons wreaking havoc.”

The Queen laughed a low tinkling sound that grated across Jace’s nerves.

“I’d like to know more about the chrysalis you destroyed.”  The Queen questioned gaze shifting back towards Clary with an almost bored expression, belying the conniving mind underneath.

“Were you surprised to learn an Unseelie was inside that chrysalis?”  Jace demanded.

“Were you?”  She glanced at Jace, expression revealing nothing.  “I want to see what it’s capable of.  Will you show me?”

_Was surprised to find the whole damn thing._

The rest of her statement made his blood run cold and his world narrow in a fight response.

“It’s dead.”  Jace said, his body was starting to stiffen from remaining still for so long.  He resisted the urge to shift on his feet.

The Queen smiled coyly.  “Are you sure?”

_It was decapitated and its heart ripped out.  Not sure how much more dead you can get._

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Alec dropped something grotesque, rotten, and reeking on the ground.

Clary jerked back.

Izzy stiffened in surprise.

Jace stared at the mangled organ on the ground, slowly looking up at Alec and the cold expression he found there.

“You have your monster.  Give us the army.”  Alec demanded, expression stone. 

“A surprising offering...  I had anticipated something more unique.  I will give you the army and one to guide you through the entrances to the Unseelie realm.”  She waved one of her attendants forward to pick up the mangled piece of flesh, placing it on a platter and hurrying off with it.  “I will not forget this.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Silence.

The four sat around Maryse’s office with food set out on the lower table in the center of the room, away from the mahogany desk she sat at.

Clary sipped at some tea.

Alec envied her ability to have a functioning stomach.  His own had long since refused to want food today.  The stress of trying to outwit the Seelie Queen for her army, trying to keep the Queen from using Jace as a pawn and seeking his own blood for her own designs.  That heart had been in study since the destruction of the green chrysalis and the lab scientists had been livid when he took it.  It was through sheer luck he had managed to access it and leave with it before Izzy caught wind.

His options had narrowed from open discussion to either his blood or that dead heart of an Unseelie.  Jace was never an option to offer.  The decision to use the heart had been easy, he had just hoped they could have found a different bargain with the Queen.  Something that would also remove Jace from her sights.

_Because she wanted to see what I could do with the ability Edom gave me._

The parabati rune at his side continued its steady flow of warmth slowly calming him down.

Jace nudged him with his shoulder.

Alec looked over at him without fully raising his head.

Jace nudged him again, with a jerk of his head towards Maryse.

Alec narrowed his eyes at him.  Jace could elaborate that fiasco of a political discussion.

“We have an army and a way into the Unseelie realm.”  Jace elaborated without going into all the hidden threats and disguised attempts to pull uncomfortable truths from them.  “We also lost that heart extracted from the green chrysalis for study.”

Maryse set her own cup down having waited patiently for them to process enough to begin.

“That would be a win.  I regret the loss of the heart for research purposes, but considering we now have a way to destroy three suspected greater demons.  You did well.”  Maryse informed them.

“The Queen implied the chrysalis could do damage to these greater demons.  Is that why she wanted the heart?”  Clary asked from her spot.

_No, she wanted to sic me on it like an attack dog like I used that hellhound._

He was certain Meliorn had made that connection now.  And just like the Queen had been curious about Jace and Clary’s angel blood, she was now curious about his own transformation.

_“My destroyer.”_

The feeling of that heart beating in his hand, the moment it stopped as the power tried to claw its way under his skin.  Sinking razor claws and tiny teeth in ripping, tearing…

Alec reached out clutching at Jace’s leg, bowing himself forward, banding his other arm across his legs to force his body to appear normal.

_Calm down.  You are in control._

A breath in, breath out.  Alec forced himself to sit up properly, releasing the death grip he had on Jace’s thigh.

_You didn’t let it in._

Jace was speaking.

_Good…_

“From what Meliorn told us as we left.  He’ll be guiding us along with several members of a group called, the Wild Hunt.  Supposedly these Wild Hunt members can track the greater demons for us, guide us to them and we can dispatch from there.  Which solves our tracking problem.”  Jace explained.

Alec winced at the last bit before relief he had a way out of using a hellhound to track the greater demons flooded in.

And he would not need to break his promise.

“Big problem with that.  We can only take small groups if we are all trampling around the forest tracking them.  Eliminates the element of surprise.”  Izzy pointed out from her spot, her part of the table had been cleared of food and drink and now held sheets of paper filled with her designer Malachi contraption.  Still working numbers.  “I also still need a base to make my containment box work.”

Alec pressed his lips together.  “Reconnaissance.  We’ll need at least two or three people to travel with this Wild Hunt and track the greater demons down for the reading Izzy needs before we can take them out.” 

“It’s that rift all over again.” Clary said into her tea cup.

“Only this time your eyes will deceive you.  The Unseelie realm transforms its lands when you look at them to closely.  Nothing stays still.  You’ll have no point of reference.”  Jace said leaning forward on the couch to drive the point home as he spoke to her.

Maryse studied the group.  “Izzy remain at the Institute and work on your Malachi contraptions, all three of them.  Alec, Jace you will go to the Unseelie realms for recon.  Clary I want you to see if you can figure out a rune that will allow our shadowhunters to see some stability within the Unseelie realm.”  She ordered.

_Unlikely._

“Jace, library.  Let’s go dig up any information on the Unseelie realm we can find before going in.”  Alec said and pushed to his feet.

Jace spun his stele in his hand.  “After I renew a rune.”  He clamped a hand on Alec’s shoulder.  “Now.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

In search of some privacy for the rune and conversation Jace intended he wandered down to Alec’s office two doors down, pushing the door open and gestured for Alec to go in.  Acutely aware of Clary glancing down the hall towards them as she left Maryse’s office as well.

_She knows it’s a rune he already has.  Nothing odd about that._

Alec shot him a curious glance as he passed him trying to uncover what rune Jace meant, stepping into the room and allowing Jace to close the door behind them.

“Jace?”  Alec called once he had turned around to face him while Jace hovered by the door.

Jace lifted his head up from where he had bowed it in introspection, spinning the stele in his hands again and coming towards Alec.  “Promise rune.  I want it on your right arm where you can see it.”  Jace explained quietly.

Alec hesitated at the request.  “To keep the darkness out?”

_To stay with me…_

Jace rolled Alec’s right sleeve up enough to expose his wrist, turning his palm up.  He glanced up at Alec holding his gaze with his own.

The promise rune was usually only written by the wearer because it was a promise to themselves to face certain struggles within themselves.  What Jace was asking would be a promise between each other.

Jace swallowed his nerves turning Alec’s wrist back over and hovered it over the back of Alec’s wrist.  He pointedly refused to acknowledge how close this point was to the location of typical marriage runes.

“Tell me you promise not to let the darkness inside that only our parabati bond remains within you.”  Jace whispered holding Alec’s dark gaze with his own heterochromia one.

He could feel the twitch in Alec’s wrist he held, an aborted motion to pull away.

Jace checked him with a look.

Alec tilted his head down holding that gaze.  “I promise to only allow you inside me.”

Jace fought the warm, volatile feeling those words erupted across his skin.  Focused on pressing his stele into Alec’s wrist, needing to break their gazes to draw the first part.

“And the darkness.”  Jace prompted.

The hesitation that followed made his heart twist.

“I promise not to let the darkness in.”  Alec breathed the words out nearly on a relieved sigh.

Jace burned the rune into Alec’s skin, watching as it flared to life in a brilliant gold before settling into its normal black color.

“Wasn’t so bad.”  Jace remarked trying to ease the tension he could feel in the air and pocketing his stele.

Alec watched him through hooded eyes.  “Thank you.”  Alec murmured pressing a palm to Jace’s parabati rune gently.

Jace buried his face against Alec’s neck.  “Don’t betray me.”

“Don’t leave me.”  Alec returned wrapping his arms around him.  “I know that realm messed you up, Jace.”

Jace felt his jaw tighten slightly.  “Don’t make this about before.”  Jace grumbled back.

“I worry what a realm filled with illusions will do to you.”  Alec said.

Jace’s brow snapped together, tracing a finger along the new rune on Alec’s wrist.  “Don’t do that with me.  We’re going together and you don’t need to protect me from my own head.”

They stood wrapped around each other for a long moment.

Jace pulled away reluctantly, looking up into Alec’s eyes.  “Should probably figure out rotations for my trainees while I’m gone and get some food before we leave with Meliorn.”

Alec gave a small hum in agreement not fully moving away for a moment longer, brushing his thumb along Jace’s jaw. 

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Izzy handed them both Sensors and some strange contraption that looked like a gun.

“Point and click.”  Izzy explained in stupid simple terms for them to understand how to take the readings she required.

“And don’t get killed in the process.” Jace muttered examining the iron wrought weapon and hefting its weight in his palm.

_Iron to deflect the Seelie magic and contain the readings…_

“If the big beast notices you, run the other way.”  Izzy said with a sweet smile, but he could see the tension around her eyes.

They were going into a realm shadowhunters notoriously never returned from.

_Knowing me and Alec we’ll try and kill the thing ourselves._

And probably suffer for it too.

Jace casually pointed the sensor contraption at Alec and depressed the button for a scan, the small green light lit up informing him data had been taken.  “It works.”

Izzy huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.  “Of course it works.  I made it.”  She made a motion for Jace to hand it back over.  “And you only have a set number of charges before it forgets what you scanned.  Tech and magic don’t work well remember.  You have exactly three charges.”  She popped out something from the bottom and tossed it on her worktable and shoved a different one back in, returning the scanner to Jace.  “Don’t mess up.”

_Six total between the two of them.  High stakes._

Something Jace used to go for without a second thought.  After meeting death, nearly losing Alec, and nearly losing his damn mind he was not as thrilled with the idea as he once had been.

“Did Clary uncover the required rune to stabilize our senses while in the Unseelie realm?”  Alec questioned Izzy.  She had been awake during the last meeting while Alec and he had crashed in preparation to leave.

Izzy took a deep breath before letting it all out at once, clearly still distrusting of Clary.  “No, she has not discovered the rune.  Insists she should join you both because it would be easier to uncover the required rune if she was physically there.”

Alec gave a sharp shake of his head.  “No.  I ran a risk bringing her with to the Queen.  I’m not bringing her near three greater demons for recon.  Her judgement skills would have her attacking them with zero back up.”

“My judgement skills are fine.”  Announced Clary as she strode in dropping a broken blade into the required maintenance bin.  “Nathan broke my blade during training.  Would have lost an arm if I had not blocked it.”

Jace scowled at the attempt at sympathy or praise, noting Alec almost smile from Clary’s announcement.

“He’s testing you.”  Jace said strapping the scanner and sensor Izzy had given him to his belt.  “I told you he was slacking, seems he finally decided to try.  And I know you can do better Clary.  You have the drive, just need to apply yourself rather than focus everything into natural talent.”

Clary’s eyes narrowed and she scoffed.  “Like you do?”

Jace grit his teeth before plastering on a confidant smile.  “Always.  It’s how I rose through the ranks so quickly.”

Alec rolled his eyes at that.

“I wanted to ask to join you.  I think it would help with creating the needed rune for the final assault.  Without it…well I’ve never been there but reading Jace’s report the ground undulates and you can easily lose your footing.”  Clary requested with surprising tact for herself, green eye shining in earnest.

Jace shook his head sharply- No.

“We need stealth and you have not been trained in stealth.”  Alec explained heading towards the door.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Stealth.

Alec felt like a lumbering boar compared to the three Seelies moving through the Unseelie forest silently, guiding them and tracking the demonic beasts for them.  He could see Jace up ahead quietly picking up how they were tracking them through the use of branches and grooves in the ground that remained even after the ground shifted.

He glanced to the side where he could swear faint glowing pieces floating through the air had turned red for a moment.

A moment later and the Seelie in the lead gave a hand signal for them to halt, braided hair dropping down his back and leaves and bark covering his skin.

The ground bounced slightly under his feet.  The moss…mushroom…oscillating dirt had felt like walking across a cloud for the better part of what he perceived as a mile.  It had been screwing with his balance but he refused to activate his agility rune just yet, uncertain how much a greater demon could detect angelic power activating.

Meliorn flicked him a strange look, his smile appearing genuine for a moment.  “The Unseelie realm ground has been compared to walking across air and darkness.”  Meliorn informed him.

“It’s a trampoline.”  Jace amended dropping down by Alec and drinking from his canteen while they rested for the brief break.  “Simon dragged Izzy and me to one months ago when…”  He trailed off eyes shooting towards Alec.

A slight twitch of Alec’s lips, no smile, caught between picturing Jace and Izzy jumping around on a trampoline freely and the memory of that cell.

Alec pointed to the left where he had seen the red floating fluff balls.  “It’s that way, correct?”  He asked their lead tracker, a muscular Seelie with dark brown hair interwoven with vines and butterfly wings along one side of his head.

The leader appeared taken aback for a moment glancing towards Meliorn.

Meliorn tilted his head in acknowledgement to the unspoken question the leader shot him.

“Yes, and from here on out no one speaks.  Get in do your shadowhunter thing and we move to the next one.”  The leader replied.

None of the Seelie trackers had given a name for Jace or himself to call them by, forcing them to defer to Meliorn for any questions unless it strictly pertained to the hunt.  Considering the mission, it was an easy rule to follow.

Alec glanced out into the dark forest, barren trees and grey dust warping into a cave that he could not perceive more than a few feet into the darkness.

He thumbed the promise rune across his wrist and glanced over at Jace, seeing him already watching him silently.

Together they followed the Seelie tracker further into the shifting forest until they came to a large lake with fire burning on the far side.

He could feel the malevolence from here, a cold dark feeling that emitted from the greater demon.

Then the lake moved and what he had thought was a lake rose up as one massive wing, water streaming off it back into the lake as the wing rose into the air.

He sucked in a breath, sensing Jace do the same beside him.

_That’s a big demon…_

The wing spanned the length of the lake and what he had thought was a hill on the far side moved indicating the greater demons body.

Jace snapped his arm up taking the needed scan for Izzy.

Doing the same Alec attempted to gain some understanding of the demons size.  All he came up with was that it was bigger than the Institute, bigger than a block of New York.

_And that’s the first one._

No one spoke in the travel away or the distance to the next one.

This one had been chained down by hundreds of vines and had several Seelies surrounding it maintaining its shackles.

_Easy kill._

“Illusions.”  Meliorn whispered.  “The demon will use your mind against you.”

 

O – O –O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_Illusion._

It is what Meliorn had informed them an hour ago and Jace had long since given up on knowing exactly where the others were.  The Seelies he had thought were binding the demon to the ground in vines were nothing more than shimmering mirages and the last ten times he had searched to the side for Alec he had seen nothing.

_Recon…_

Recon was about to turn into a full search and destroy mission in about twenty seconds if Jace could not find his way out of this illusionary trap.

He inched his way closer to the chained beast.  It appeared glowing white and see through showing bones under the translucent body.  The holier image just made his body grow colder, battle instincts kicking in to continue the prowl forward searching for something not right with the image before him.

Instinct told him the greater demon stood behind him, yet he could see the glowing white image of the chained beast before him.  Fight screamed at him to turn around and lash out, fear screamed something different altogether. 

_Don’t turn around._

He did anyway.

His heart froze in his chest.  The greater demon had taken on the appearance of a human, dark black hair, pure black eyes, slightly taller than himself.  And dark runes, veins blackened along the arms.

_Alec…_

It is just an illusion.  It had to be a delusion created of his nightmares.  His mind could not deal with the demonic parabati before him.

Jace reached for Alec through the parabati bond.  It returned to him as a soft hum and the usual flow of energy that had formed since giving back his soul.

_I can still feel him._

Jace dropped both his seraph blades into his hands.  “You aren’t him.”  He rasped out.

Alec cocked his head and smiled, a smile so familiar Jace hesitated.

He couldn’t do it.  He could not kill someone he cared about in his mind again.  Not again.

“Jace!”

_Meliorn._

That was Meliorn’s voice said from a direction that was not behind where the glowing white light lurked, more off to the side of where the demonic image stood.

Jace leapt the short distance to slam his blade into the white glowing beast on the ground.  Praying the holy appearing image was connected in some fashion to the greater demons illusions.

Nothing happened but a pulse of energy that shimmered the images but did not shatter them.

Jace glanced up towards where he had heard Meliorn’s voice.  The greater demon, Lilith strode towards him raising her hand up as if to command him to stand.

Could feel his legs beginning to force himself to rise, pulled by that silent command.

_Illusion.  Deception.  Fuck, don’t be real._

Jace twisted his blade through the white mass before him watching as the image of Lilith shimmered and cracked along her face briefly, could swear part of Lilith’s face now revealed flowers and vines.

Hot breath ghosted across his neck, the illusion of Alec behind him.  “Your suffering will -“

_I suffered enough._

Jace spun opening his hand to press it against the illusion’s side, feeling cold scaly skin rather than heated warmth under his fingers and with a yell he dumped the angelic energy from the bond through his hand as he had done up on the rooftop.

The illusion’s shoulders rippled in amusement, gripping Jace’s biceps, striking cold pillars of stone through his body.

His body screamed in agony, yelled a warning the impaled limbs were not an illusion.  He could feel a wetness trickling down his arms.  Could feel a pulse travel through the parabati rune, something pure and powerful and full of light.

_Just an illusion…_

Activating his strength and speed runes with a thought Jace heaved himself against the pillars, breaking free with a loud animal yell, spinning his seraph blades through the images around him vaguely aware of golden light pouring from his runes.  The blades nearly dropping from his numbing fingers.  The image of his demonic parabati cracked and turning to dust.

He could feel the adrenaline losing its initial drive, bringing back the sharp pain in his limbs.  He activated more runes across his body cleaving through the rest of the illusions until every last glowing white illusion had shattered.

Gasping for air Jace searched for Alec, for Meliorn, any of the trackers he had come here with.

For a moment he could see nothing, eyes still half blinded by the brilliant white light of the illusions.  Blinking his eyes against the darkness Jace began to make out the forms of hundreds of Seelies and Unseelies all dead along the ground.

_No…_

Jace spun eyes searching frantically for the others in the corpses.

“Jace!”

The echo sounded like Alec disjointed and far away to his right.

_Am I still in an illusion?_

Jace searched the ground waiting for it to shift and glide from the forest of trees to a cave, sand, anything.  The ground did not move.

_Shit._

Never thought he would want to see that headache inducing warping ground that made up the Unseelie realm, but right now Jace wished it would shift and change informing him he was not still trapped.

These greater demons never could die easy.  There was always a struggle, a battle, a fight.  Things Jace understood his entire life, made him the best fighter with an edge towards violence he kept in check unleashing it on the demons.  Those demons were currently destroying his moment of happiness in illusions, damaging what made life worth living.

Jace reached within himself concentrating to activate his angelic blood, focusing as much as he could towards Alec and wherever he stood within this land.  He could feel the connection forming, growing, blistering heat traveling up his side from the parabati rune.

_Not yet…_

He could activate his own runes with a thought easily, but activating others usually required physical touch.  Right now he relied on the parabati bond to channel it.

_This better work._

Jace could see illusions reforming in white crystal clarity forming into Valentine, reshaping into all his fears, all his hidden demons brought to life by this greater demon using his own mind against him.

_Not afraid…_

He could still feel the primal fear and terror crawling through his body, refused to let it overtake him.  The pulse of the parabati bond as he let it grow hotter and hotter held it back, the bond burning through his veins seeking a way out.

The way out was straight down the bond towards Alec and the locked power his body could contain.

A flash lit up one side of the gloomy dead forest the moment Jace sent his intent to activate the parabati bond with his own angelic blood.

_There you are._

Jace bolted across the clearing dodging the reforming illusions, feeling as the ground shifted underneath him from solid to something soft and squishy, water flooded his boots for a moment.  The air around him seemed to be cracking into chunks and falling like glass mirrors.

That glowing flash that had lit up a section of the forest dimmed quickly, Jace could feel the tide of the power shift within the bond no longer hurtling towards Alec but back towards himself with twice the energy he had sent towards his parabati.

Gut instinct screamed at him.

Jace reacted, spun around leapt into the air, raising his blade over his head and slamming it into the ground as the wave hit him.  It felt like the soul sword’s energy had hit him when he activated it, only this time instead of flowing from the sword into his body and out the energy flowed from him into the seraph blade and through the ground.  With a grunt he dropped to his knees as the energy blast struck, golden-white light pouring down the blade into the ground in a circular shockwave he could see growing outward quickly, uprooting trees and throwing dirt as it went.

The ground split apart in dark ichor following the lines the heavenly power had just traveled, leaving a darkened mass beneath his feet.

The demon.  He was standing on the greater demons corpse.

He scrambled off the blackened corpse, biting back a disgusted cry when his boots sank into the demons corpse at one point threatening to drown him in filth.

The darkness appeared like an oil slick, with a lumpy form and a thicker viscosity sprawled out across the ground, oozing between trees, and stretching over rocks.

Jace skidded the last few feet to where Alec lay cradling his arm to his chest, vaguely aware of the Seelies dropping an earthen barrier in various spot throughout the forest.

“Alec.”  Jace dropped to his knees beside him, feeling the ground turn into sand beneath his knees throwing him off balance for a moment.

Alec had his face screwed up in pain, eyes closed tightly, breath hissing out in short gasps.

“We now have two greater demons to deal with.”  Meliorn said from somewhere behind him with something like shock in his voice.

Jace heard his words, barely acknowledged them.  Instead carefully touching Alec’s arm where severe burns radiated up his entire arm, hand clutched tightly around the soul pendant.

“It worked.  Easy right?”  Jace said struggling to reach for humor and knowing he failed, eyes tracking the burns along the arm where Alec’s body could not handle the heavenly power.

Alec cracked his eyes enough to send him a glare, breath still coming sharply.

Performing a quick assessment of the rest of Alec’s body revealed no other obvious wounds.  Just the burned arm and the cloth over the parabati rune had charred away into nothing, the skin remained untouched across his side.

Jace checked the scanning instrument Izzy had given them.

_Shit._

It was clearly broken and unsalvageable.

Checking Alec’s he found his still in working condition.  Which meant they had one chance to scan the last greater demon.

“Whatever you did.”  Panted Alec still hunched over clutching his arm.  “Don’t.”

_Wasn’t planning on doing a repeat._

Jace helped prop him up, scooting him back until he could rest against Jace’s chest.

Jace figured he had intentionally activated their parabati bond enough to form heavenly fire.  Something Alec’s body clearly could not handle based on the racking shivers traveling down his body.

_Mine could._

“We need to move, Shadowhunters.”  Meliorn said quietly, eyes scanning the Unseelie forest.  “The demons have their territory but they will know one has gone.”

Jace glanced over Alec’s form observing the shock and trembling from the heavenly fire.

_Not going to make it far like that._

Could feel adrenaline making his own body shaky and his energy dropped sharply as his brain took stock of the injuries on his arms again.

_Guess that was not an illusion…_

Slinging Alec’s arm over his shoulder he hauled him to his feet following the Seelie trackers back into the shifting forest, half leaning on Alec as much as supporting him.

The last demon Jace had to scan had taken up residence within the Unseelie court.  Its red hazy form spiraling around the Unseelies in what Jace could only guess was glee as the creatures it touched tore others near it apart only to rise up again and repeat the process.

_“Wrath.  Anger.  Hate.”_

Meliorn had told him when they returned to camp after Jace had taken ten minutes setting up the scanner exactly right to accomplish the scan without crawling any closer.

He rubbed his hands against his pants trying to remove the feeling of pure rage that demon emitted in its more primal form.

Most in the camp were asleep, two of the Seelies had taken the first shift for the night and Jace knew he should force himself to sleep as well before it was his turn to watch the dark trees for any attack.

Alec’s arm had been bandaged in leaves and Jace had not attempted a rune on him, unsure how it would react after that last activation through the bond.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jonathan touched his face staring at himself in the mirror.  The glamour was down for the moment allowing him to see himself as he was intended.  Red hair matching his sister’s hair color, sharp green eyes, and slimmer build.

He ran his fingers through the red hair carefully combing it to match what the glamour would provide when it turned black.

The door pushed open revealing Magnus standing there appearing mildly annoyed.  “Lucian will be here any moment.”  He gestured towards Jonathan with a snap of his fingers.

The glamour took effect in a snap of blue magic as he watched it form in the mirror.  Black hair, green eyes stared back at him.  The effect always lasted around thirty six hours.

Jonathan turned to inspect Magnus, cocking his head to the side slightly before turning back to the mirror.  “Does it bother you?  Edom’s demons being hunted down.”

Magnus leveled him with a firm look.  “Hardly.  I did banish my father, twice.  And you killed Lilith.  I think we are on the same page in our mutual dislike for all things Edom.”

Jonathan felt his lips twist up in a smile.  “Yet you despise me.”

Magnus raised one eyebrow.  “You are an excessively annoying brat with zero self-control and a predisposition for violence that rivals most demons.”

_It lets the rage out in nice ornate designs._

“If this little plan works New York won’t have any greater demons lost from Edom wandering about.”  Jonathan stated.

Magnus gave him a half smile, still leery of him even with all the layers he knew the warlock had added to his own home.  “And where does that put you?”

_Struggling to find my way to my sister._

“I’m certain there will be enough demons to keep my appetite.”

Magnus’s gaze shifted to something more knowing.  “I think your physical transformation into a shadowhunter changed you a bit more than you want to admit.”

Jonathan turned away from the mirror at last to look at the glittery warlock a small sneer forming.  “Are you disappointed I no longer desire to burn the world to the ground?”  He drawled, picking up the ancient sharp razor blade he had used for shaving earlier, a silent threat.  “Perhaps you still cannot let go of the man you fucked for…how long was it again?  A month?  Two?  Three at most?”  He taunted the warlock.

Magnus remained unfazed and only gave him a look more pity than contempt.  “I think you are afraid to admit you want something other than violence.  Your disappointment is in yourself.”

Dangerous thought.

“I think you misunderstand me for one of those broken ones that desire to be good.”  Jonathan stated calmly.  “You think I am ashamed of my life as a demon.  You are wrong.”

He could see the blue magic sparking at Magnus’s fingertips, a threat just as deadly as the blade in his own hands.

“You have been pulled from your own shame and hate.  I can see humanity in you, just as I see it in so many Downworlders.  You rose from what you were created as into something new.”  Magnus stated.

_Always trying to save the undeserving._

The undeserved missing and lost of the Shadowworld.

_No wonder you fell so hard for Alec._

He would have encompassed everything Magnus would have wanted to fix in a person.  Guide them from hiding themselves, guiding them towards acceptance.

Jonathan scoffed at the idea.

Jonathan knew the things he had done, the deaths and killing.  So much of it in the past, left behind him, only to open a world waiting for further never-ending violence.  None of the comfort he still sought.

The Seelies and women he had been with brought pleasure but no comfort.

He wanted to be good, but the need for violence, for pain outweighed that demand.

The doorbell chimed signaling Lucian had arrived and with one last glance Magnus left him standing there.

Jonathan clenched the blade in his hand until it bit into his skin and the blood dripped down his hand.

The pain grounding him, the only thing that remained constant all his life.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

Stumbling into the Institute half carrying each other Jace and Alec had been greeted swiftly by Underhill, the head of security.

Jace had pushed the scanner Izzy had given them into his hands with an order to give it to Izzy immediately.

And then it got hazy.  Blank.  Jace could not find anything in his mind after that.

Awareness of the sheets wrapped around his body flittered in.

Jace rolled over, squinting his eyes open enough to gain his bearings.

_Room.  My room._

His bladder alerted him to the fact he had been asleep for much longer than just a few hours and with a groan Jace dragged himself out of bed to the bathroom.

None of this helped him figure out what happened from the moment he handed that scanner to Underhill to his bedroom.

Jace rubbed his hand over his face almost falling into his door when he went to leave as a wave of dizziness crashed through him along with a loud growl from his stomach.

Making his way to the Main Ops Center Jace was surprised when some of the shadowhunters approached him to express thanks.

_What happened?_

He did not spot Maryse or Alec among those in the Main Ops, with effort he managed to wander down to the armory where he finally spotted familiar dark hair that could answer his questions.

Izzy was humming to herself, some playful song he did not recognize.  She appeared relaxed, happy as she moved through the armory snatching up blocks of metal to deposit them near the forge before wandering over to the container for weapons in need of repair and selecting one, turning around she froze in her song.

“Jace?”  She nearly squeaked his name out.  “You’re awake?”

Jace glanced around her armory, furrowed his brow at her in confusion regarding his conscious state.  “Yeah…why wouldn’t I be?” He smirked.

Izzy set the sword she intended to reforge down, circling around the worktable towards Jace.  “You both collapsed in the hallway in front of Underhill.  Then taken down to the infirmary for days, but they needed to move you to your own rooms after the battle.”  She glanced away a sadness forming over her features.  “We needed the beds for shadowhunters and seelies after.”

Battle?  The last two greater demons.

His eyes widened.  “I missed it?”  Jace asked stunned.

_I slept through it!_

Izzy’s lips turned back up into a smile.  “Yeah.  Missed the whole thing.  Missed mom striking the final blow on that massive dragon demon.  I don’t know how the other was taken down yet, just that it involved too many deaths to get close.”  She moved back towards her workbench.  “On the bright side, Seelies and Unseelies are working on creating a truce together and the Queen appeared grateful, even if she made it a pain to gain her army.”

Jace pulled out the nearest stool to ease himself down, body still shaky from waking up and a lack of food.  Mind still tumbling through illusions and heavenly fire and scrambling to catch up to the new changes in their world.

“Alec?”

She shot him a glance.  “Presumably still asleep in his room.  But you know how he is about staying put lately.  I’ve been having Max track both of you every few hours and thus far he has not moved.”  Izzy said picking up the sword and plunging it into the forge to sit for the moment.  She glanced over at his silence.

Jace gave a grunt to show he heard her, mind still locked on the moment the heavenly fire had swept in a tide through him killing the greater demon.

“What happened to my sword?”  Jace asked absently.

Izzy snorted.  “You mean the slag heap Meliorn presented to me wrapped up in silk like a revered gift?”  She sighed, studying Jace a moment.  “He said you killed that demon solo, even with all the illusions it was creating for everyone else.  You should be proud.”

Proud did not quite cover how he felt about that.  Mind numbing relief, fear for what the bond had done to Alec’s body, a liberation to be free of the terror and disassociation the images he had seen brought.

“You should go out to the greenhouse.  I’ll bring out some food for us to eat, it’s about my lunch time anyway.”  Izzy insisted.

Jace nodded his head in acknowledgement, following her suggestion.

The greenhouse felt warm and muggy as usual and Jace made his way over to a more secluded spot before laying down in the sunshine.  Bringing both arms up to inspect them, similar to when he had activated the soul sword no physical feature manifested to show his use of it.

He shuttered his heterochromia eyes slightly, allowing his mind to wander and lull itself through that mission into something he could make sense of.  Sinking through the illusions and attempting to pull forth the moment they became real and which ones were in his head.

A shadow fell across his vision.

_Izzy._

He cracked his eyes open enough to look up.

Red hair.  Clary.

_How did you know I was awake?_

“No.”  Jace closed his eyes.

Clary huffed.  “I was wondering if I could talk to you.”

_I just regained consciousness.  Go away._

Jace opened his eyes enough to stare at her intently, waiting for her to break under the stare.

Clary scowled.  “It’s not about us.  I was wondering if I could become an instructor or medic.”

Jace arched a brow, bringing one arm up under his head to prop his head up slightly.  “And this vast knowledge of what you should do with your life is brought to me because…  Go talk to Alec or Maryse as the Heads to this Institute.”

“Maryse is busy.  And Alec is still sleeping off whatever went wrong during that recon mission with you both.”

Jace winced internally at that.

“So you searched me out for advice on one half of your dilemma.”  Jace sat up enough to look at her properly.  “Honestly, Clary.  You don’t have the background to be an instructor.  You’ve been a shadowhunter for a grand total of a year.  No one would respect you in a physically challenging role like that.  Go ask someone else for their idea on your mental calm to be a medic.”

Clary sat down next to him in the shifting sunlight.  “I know, you have to be really calm to be a medic.  And the iron sisters are ruled out for obvious reasons.”  Jace huffed a short laugh at that.  “I was training to be an artist my entire life, Jace.  What does an artist do around here?  Write books?  I can only create so many new runes.”

A memory jogged through him about Clary making a birth control rune that he had made as a joke.

“Could create new runes and work with the silent brothers to revamp the Grey Book.”  Jace pointed out.

Clary smiled at him for the idea, before searching his face for a moment.

“So how have you been?”  Clary asked.

Jace cut his gaze from her.  “Hassled.”  He said flatly.

Clary frowned slightly.  “Jace, I’m serious.”

_So am I._

“Simon told me you volunteered for that recon mission.”  She said offhandly.

_Better than sending Alec and Jonathan in there together._

“I take as many missions as I can, usually the higher priority ones are handed to me directly regardless.  Comes with the territory of being the best.”

“What went wrong?”  Clary asked softly, still trying to reach him emotionally.

Something he did not want, he could handle them being friends if she could accept Alec, but she never showed she could accept him now that he valued Alec more than herself.

_That’s just as my parabati._

“Nothing went wrong.  For once everything went right.”  Jace glanced up at the sun shining down.

Clary scoffed.  “Yeah, perfectly right.  You collapsed and stayed unconscious for a week.”

“Demon’s dead.  I call it a success.”  Jace drawled cockily, pulling out his stele to begin to spin it through his fingers for the weight of it.

Izzy arrived with her lunch and some for Jace, dropping down with both in the sunlight.

Jace glanced at the sad looking peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Izzy huffed.  “We grew up together.  Your amazing good looks and comatose state are not going to move me into cooking a full course meal for you.”

He shot her a look.  “I would prefer if you didn’t cook for me at all.  Ever.”

She smiled patronizingly at him.  “Thus PB&J.  Don’t complain.”

_Whiiiir.  Screech._

The horrid noise of a failing metal fan could be heard followed by something crashing onto the stone pathway.

Izzy winced at the sound but her brown eyes grew warmer looking towards the plants and flowers.

“I think he is going to have every botanist chasing him with trowels and sheers by the end of the winter.”  Izzy complained amused.  “He’s been out here at least once a day and losing just as many drones to magical interference, trying to find the correct balance.”

Jace glanced through the greenhouse plants, spotting brown hair as he came around the corner carrying various pieces of destroyed drone.

“Izzy!  Come join me!”  Simon called before noticing Jace.  “Jace!  Hey you are awake.” 

_Why is everyone so surprised at that?_

Jace brought his legs up considering getting up to join him, decided against it when he felt the parabati rune give a pulse.  Apparently running a ton of heavenly fire through it resulted in a need to rest.  “Nah, I’m good.”  He waved Simon off.  “I just woke up, not much of a morning person.”  Jace grumbled.

Izzy gave a small huff of laughter at that.

Clary glanced at him in concern.  He rarely put off physical activity if he could help it.

“I worry about him.”  Izzy said watching Simon fondly.  “He’s going to explode something I just know it.”

“Just so long as I don’t have to push him around in the wheels of shame.”  Jace commented nodding his head towards where Simon was still gathering up small pieces from the ground and now waving off an irate botanist.

Deep down he knew he would still do it, push Simon around everywhere he needed to go if he injured himself from an exploding drone.

Jace glanced up through the clear roof of the greenhouse seeing the rest of the Institute towering over the greenhouse.  The place he had fallen apart, ripped apart following Clary thinking he was in love with her only to lose himself, lose his mind, and lose his life.  The same place he found it all again because of an accident that had forced him to open his eyes.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jonathan ignored the infirmary where a plentitude of shadowhunters and seelies lay being attended to by the medics.  He ignored some of the newer trainee’s calls to join them for a late dinner, something he did occasionally to ensure he spent time with Clary.

Clary and all her misguided thoughts towards himself.

He could feel the anger at his sister simmering.  He could not understand how she could accept the way Jace treated her, but could not accept him.  Her brother.  Her blood.

_Her friend._

Jonathan checked the mission board to sign up for a few missions for that evening.  Wandering in late, served an annoyance all its own.  There was nothing left but a recon to a bleeder den and he had not been back to the Institute much since that mission into the Unseelie realms.  His glamour had failed him and the only reason he had stuck around was to ensure Clary stayed alive.  The dead Seelie he had borrowed the armor from to conceal his identity had helped with that in all the chaos of the Unseelie realm.

His mind turning over what Magnus had told him earlier leading him.  Guiding him towards a knowledge he had no concept of.  Had never understood it except in brief respites.

Gentleness.  Kindness.

Things he shied away from, yet there were moments.  Snapshots of a gentle moment when Alec touched his hair or Clary had given him a hug briefly.

Jonathan steered himself away from those moments towards Clary’s room first before veering away towards Alec’s instead.

Maybe he should get a cat.  Could add it to the numerous ones in Magnus’s loft.  No, he’d probably kill it within the week through neglect or a fit of violence.

_Can cat parts be used in any spells Shadowhunters can create?_

He stood in Alec’s bedroom doorway, pressing his lips together now that he was here and unsure why he was here to begin with.  Alec had clearly woken and had yet to contact him, nothing unusual there. 

“Nathan?”  Clary’s voice called further down the hallway she slowed seeing whose room he hovered by.  “You looking for him?”

“Not exactly.”  Jonathan said, eyes scanning the room noting nothing amiss but no Pure One either.

_Searching for something good._

Something that would connect him to this world more than just through his creator and a blood tie that barely acknowledged him most days.

A connection deeper than a demonic beast.

Unbidden, his father’s voice assailed his mind.

_“Your mother feared you.”_

Born a monster, kept and trained as one.  Both his parents afraid of him.  Even Clary feared him in the end.  Magnus distrusted him even if he was thawing in other areas.

_Until Alec._

Alec saw him as a soul not as a monster with demonic blood.  Created the first link to gain his life back, his real life.  One he had never experienced until the moment he crawled from the white blaze of souls.  Giving him an opportunity to explore life as it should be, not perfectly good but something he could reach out and touch.

_“What makes you happy?”_

_“Killing.”_

_“Jonathan.”_

_“I don’t know, Pure One.  Until you made me I’ve never felt true happiness.”_

Had been given a breath of life when he had been brought in as Sebastian only for his insane desires to destroy it.  And that glimmer of hope for something other than pain had been given life when he was recreated.  Something that did not relish in pure violence.  He understood he treasured it, it showed him who he was.

_“Your true nature…”_

But he was no longer the demon.  And he had the choice to be something good under all that chaos, something he had always hoped to be.

And even with everything Clary had said to him, he still wanted his little sister to know him, to understand him.  To care for him in some way, to acknowledge he existed when his parents never had, recognizing that he was worthy of life.

_I wanted you to fight by my side.  Not because of what I was but because we were family._

“Tell me about your mother.”  He asked as she turned to leave towards her own room.  “I never got to know mine.  I want to know what it was supposed to be like.”

Clary appeared taken aback, same green eyes wide before recovering.  “Um, yeah.  Sure.  I have a couple pictures of her and drawings I have done.  I haven’t really looked at them since…  Well, its time I look at them again.”

Jonathan sat in her room for hours as she talked about each picture and artwork and told him some of the stories of her childhood growing up.

When she asked about his childhood.  He told her the truth, the human variation at least.  That his mother had either abandoned him or that he had been stolen from her to be raised by his father for a time.  Tortured during training before ultimately being thrown away and that Alec had pulled him out of that by bringing him here to this Institute.

And then she pulled out the gift he had given her for her birthday, a picture of just the two of them.

The heartbreak in Clary’s eyes in that moment, the care, made it all worth it.

She cared for him and was letting Nathan into her heart.

Soon she would trust him.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

A half hour into Alec’s jog through New York the buildings and concrete gave way to trees and greenery, one of the larger parks within New York.

Slowing to a walk Alec wandered the paved pathways within the park.

He glanced around searching for any followers.  No one.  Not even Jace knew he had come out here.

The parabati rune remained hot against his side, demanding they remain close together until it stabilized again, but he had other more pressing matters to complete first.

_Almost there._

Alec pressed through a particularly dense set of trees and bushes, nature’s skyscrapers stretching towards the sky in a blind attempt to overtake the city around them.

“I almost thought you would make me wait.”  The Seelie Queen drawled perched upon a moss covered log, the remnants of a large fallen oak.

Alec paused, hands itching to reach for his bow.  “I received your message when I woke up.  I demand you stop stalking him.”

That message had quickly been burned in the fireplace, the leaf curling into charcoal under the heat.

“It brought you here.  It worked exactly as intended.” The Queen replied.

Wariness crept in from the Queen’s statement as he paced to stand beside her.  “Your predecessor wanted a demon for a king.  If you want one, look to your Unseelie realm.  I refuse to give you Jace.”

“I am trying to rule my kingdom, both Seelie and Unseelie.  I rule for the benefit of my people.  I require a monster at my side to control and contain the Unseelie side.  Who do you rule for?”

_Not this._

“I will lead the Shadowhunters and those under my jurisdiction within New York.  I gave you the heart, your monster, for the army, do not make me your enemy the moment we have peace.”  Alec replied, searching her form for a glimpse of what she wanted.

The queen smiled at him.  “You destroyed Jonathan for me.  Your parabati destroyed his son.  You are the closest thing to a greater demon after their deaths.”

Clouds passing overhead cast them into shadow, bringing a chill with it and the light scent of rain.  The first warning of spring, a forewarning of Beltane.

The parabati bond burned into his side and his eyes flickered down towards his hand he had clenched it into a fist, the black promise rune standing out against his skin.

Alec ignored the cruel target towards what he had been.  Something most never fully understood and never would.

He lifted his gaze back to her pitching his voice low and deadly.  “I’ve sacrificed shadowhunter lives to save your people.  Given them refuge in my Institute and you threaten me.” 

The queen held his dark gaze with her forest colored one a moment, turned from him and walked along the broken log.  “Yet my knights died in that battle, my knights are still dying in your infirmary.  There is blood in the waters between us.”  She stopped walking to look back at him.  “Show me what it does.”

_Never._

His gaze never left her form, his mouth tight as his brow furrowed.  “I am going to make this simple for you.  We both have something the other wants.  Now we can waste time over jurisdiction and law but we both know that won’t gain either of us what we want.”

The Queen curled one lip up before she smoothed the sneer out.  “And this alternative from waging war across my realms and killing one of our princes?”

_The boy you manipulated Jace into killing._

Alec knew his gaze hardened into something glacial.  “I grant you immunity from me.”

She stilled for a moment in silence, giving away her fear of what he could do.

_Destroyer of a realm._

What he had chosen not to do and had ended with more lives lost, both on the Seelie and Shadowhunters sides while he slept off the heavenly fire from the parabati bond.

_It’s war.  Lives are lost.  You cannot save everyone._

He had been clinging to the cynical soldier in him since waking up and learning of the deaths of so many.  All because he had chosen not to draw the darkness in and unleash it as he had done towards Lilith and Asmodeus.

_Which soul weighs more, my own or the hundreds dead?_

He did not have an answer for himself.

She laughed, a high tinkling sound that would have sounded beautiful if he did not know the source of it.  “Your blood in exchange for his freedom and we can avoid this war.  We help each other, Shadowhunter.  Those are my terms.  Or you can stay within the Seelie realms for eternity.”  She smiled knowingly.

Alec stepped towards her allowing the power from the parabati bond to glow under his jacket, the golden light could be either heavenly or demonic.  He could tell she could not differentiate the difference between the darkness and light.

“Relinquish your own.”  Alec demanded.

The Queen hesitated, vines along the ground shifting but not lashing around his limbs.  Yet.

Tension simmered, threatening violence from one wrong breath.  One wrong move.  His wrist burned where the promise rune lay.

“I believed I could carry the burden of both fairy realms.”  She almost sounded lonely.

_You always had one King, one Queen.  That won’t change._

“Your realms have been cleared and balanced.  Your knights and subjects are alive, picking up the pieces.”

The Queen chuckled a low laugh.  “Like your Shadowhunters are cleaning up New York since Edom’s destruction?”

They were drifting off track, twisting into lies and truths until she gained her footing.

He narrowed his eyes on the queen.  “I don’t have time to argue about both our people.  Either take the offer or start this battle.”  Alec said harshly.

The Queen’s eyes clashed with his, judging and curious all at once before bringing a vine up hovering over her own wrist.  An offering to the strange treaty.

”Don’t ever come after my family again.  The moment you do, you lose your immunity.”  Alec warned bringing up the iron knife he had brought with him, hovering it over his own wrist inches away from the new promise rune.

The next decision was the Queen’s alone.  No guards.  No politics.  What she said here would either break them both or allow a tenuous peace.

Alec tightened his hand into a fist, could feel the weight of the quiver and bow across his back, prepared.

The Queen’s face revealed nothing.  She reached out wrapping vines around the knife he held not allowing the burning metal to touch her skin and with a final gliding turn she walked away from him.  “Terms accepted.”

It was a long time before Alec returned to the Institute, hand still rubbing across the promise rune that had seared him when he had been one statement, one breath, one move away from breaking it.

_Jace is safe._

No blood had been given.  They both held the other over a pit named war if they decided the blood exchange required.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Brother and sister.

The two sat across from each other, Clary on her desk chair and Jonathan on her bed.

“I don’t even know where to start.  You tried to change and what I have seen, you still see violence as the only path.”  Clary said shifting slightly on her chair and leaning forward.

Jonathan flexed his hand where he could still feel the cut he had given himself that morning.  The short memory of pain and the conversation with Magnus stirring something in him.

“There are very few memories I have that do not constitute pain.  I forget how it feels without the pain, without the anger.”  He said.

Clary had put away the pictures and they had drifted through conversation for a time only to eventually turn back to his violence and why their team had been dismantled.

Clary gave him an annoyed look.  “If you are looking for pity, I won’t give you any.  I tried that before, it does not work.”

He pressed his lips together in annoyance.  “I’ve been changing.  Why change that view now?”

“You kill for fun.  You enjoy it.  That isn’t good.  As grateful as I am that Alec has not sent you the Silent City for a mental review, I’m surprised as well.”  Clary said cocking her head to the side as if attempting to discern something.

Jonathan frowned.

_I’m good for you._

“You would rather I let the demons go?  Killing is our livelihood.  It is what we are.”  He informed her bluntly.

She tossed her head back, green eyes flashing.  “Our lives are not about killing.  Nathan, if you think that then you are stupider than I thought.  Alec assigned you to this Institute directly, Simon told me that.  He must have seen some goodness in you, the same goodness you told me once you hoped was inside you.  You remind me of someone I knew once and he let his hatred and anger consume him.  You need to learn to have another emotion than hatred.”

_Speaking from experience._

Jonathan chuckled lightly.  “Love?  That blasted emotion you and Jace flaunted at me every chance you could.  All it resulted in was is Jace’s death.”  He moved across the room until he stood before her.  “You hated me for being a demon, you were disgusted by me.  All I ever wanted was your love and I see it is impossible.”

Clary froze, eyes going wide in a mixture of surprise, terror, and relief.

“Jonathan…?”  Clary questioned softly, nearly a squeak.

_And the light goes on._

Jonathan tilted his head down slightly to study her reaction to the fullest.

Now to discover her fickle loyalties.

“You think you love me now that I am your brother?  Now that I am no longer a demon?”  He reached out to grip her shoulder so she would not run, tightening his grip until it might be painful.  “Alec loved me when I was still a demon!  He saw my soul and he saw I was entitled to have a life.  A normal life.  I want you in my life, but I know you will betray me again and again.”

Clary hesitated in her response, eyes finally seeming to see him.  “I won’t leave you.”

Jonathan laughed, he knew it sounded deranged but it only fueled his anger.  “You left me in Edom, you left me for Jace, you left me to die!”

Clary’s eyes were beginning to tear up, shaking her head.  “I could not reach you.  Jonathan, you need to meet me halfway.  If you want to be good, then you have to try.  You can’t just say one thing and do another.”

Jonathan stilled before intentionally wandering away from her.

_“You are good.”_

_“Tell me how to be good.”_

_“Live.”_

_“I cannot live without death.”_

_“Then be ruthless.”_

The conversation between himself and Alec swirled through his memory as he stopped near Clary’s sketchpads, flipping one open.  A picture of the twisted Unseelie realms landscape stared back at him, trees and stalactites with a never ending sky.

“I don’t want to be angry all the time.  I want to know what happiness is.  I want to know what comfort is supposed to feel like.”  Jonathan said, flipping to another page of Jace in the training hall, staff held across his back.

Clary walked over to him, wrapping her arms carefully around her brother.  “Hugs are supposed to be comforting.  Or so I’m told.”  Clary said quietly, but he could feel the tension in her body lightly pressed to him.

Distrust.  Wary of his response to affection.

He plied her arms from his body.

“I told you I no longer want a sexual relationship with you.  That is in the past.”  Jonathan informed her, holding her wrists gently away from him.

Clary smiled up at him.  “That’s a relief.  What do you want?”

_Rivers of blood.  Life.  Every demon that hurt me dead.  Hope.  A knife slicing into skin.  Love._

“You by my side.”  He said simply.  It was the one constant between his demonic and shadowhunter selves.

Clary touched the side of his face.  “Alec brought you back, but he never showed you how to be happy.”

Jonathan fought the instant sneer that wanted to form across his face.

_You know nothing of what is between Alec and me._   That beautiful craving for violence.

“I understand darkness and pain, not happiness.”

Clary offered him a small hopeful smile.  “Then let’s not play children’s games and actually talk, like we did about our mother.  Happiness comes from memories.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The owed meal had not changed.

Chinese food and some type of rice based liquor Izzy had picked out.

Shadowhunters were not strong on traditions, but Simon had been introducing Izzy to several and Jace was tempted to adopt a couple of them.  If for nothing else than the excuse to have an assigned relaxation day.

Jace smugly smirked across at Izzy as she bent over the drawing he had made on the napkin.  “Give up?”

“You suck as an artist.  You did not pick up anything from Clary.  It looks like a bad squiggle line exploding.”  Izzy replied still bent over the drawing and attempting to discern what he had drawn while they waited for the food.

Jace glanced at his rendition.  It made perfect sense to him.

Jace folded his arms across his chest leaning back.  “Come on this is easy.  You want hints?”

Izzy sent him a sharp glare.  “I can figure out your bullshit drawing.”  She pointed at one part of the drawing.  “Sword or a dick?”

Jace smirk grew larger.  “Warmer.”

Izzy huffed rolling her eyes.  “Since we’re in public, I’m guessing your sense of vague decency kept it as a sword.  And this squiggle is plants?”

Jace pulled the horrid drawing back towards himself.  “It’s not a plant.  If it was a plant I would have drawn a wheelchair and sunlight.”

Izzy’s lips turned up in amusement.  “Yeah, something I think Alec needs more of.”  She narrowed her eyes at the drawing, tilting her head.  “It is the soul sword!”  She shouted in glee.

He dropped his head back in mock relief.  “Finally.”  Jace could not stop the amused smile from forming.  “I made that ridiculously easy.”

Izzy glared.  “If your life depended on your drawing skills you would be six feet under.”  She started stirring her drink, some mix of fruit, a small dose of alcohol, and too much sugar.

Jace chuckled.  “Good thing I’m a warrior then.”

Izzy stopped stirring her drink.

Jace felt his smile slip off his face at the sudden melancholy he detected in her form.

“That scan you performed on Alec has me worried.”  Izzy sighed, turning her head to the side as the waiter arrived with their food.

Jace felt the tension instantly form in his body and his hand dropped to his parabati rune where it had continued to burn since that mission into the Unseelie realms demanding a connection.  Problem had been he had not actually laid eyes on Alec since he woke up.

_What are you doing Alec?_

Izzy sipped at her drink, setting it back down.  “It did not show anything toxic, nothing demonic.  But it did show a really strange anomaly that I have no explanation for.”

_He can channel demonic and angelic power.  Scan a Seelie, compare the differences._

Jace leaned back in his seat looking across the table at Izzy.  The grim possibilities concerning Alec and his soul starting to build up in his head.

“Relax.  It did not look anything like when he was in that cell.”  She stabbed her chicken with the chopsticks uncaring that it was the incorrect way to eat with them.  “But I was hoping you might have an idea.”

_Mostly stuff that involves just the two of us._

Jace shook his head.  “None.  Can we talk about something other than Alec.”  He requested not looking at her.

It was not that he did not want to know what was going on with his parabati.  Quite the opposite, but he needed to see him first before he started jumping to conclusions.

Izzy chewed her food thoughtfully for a moment before smirking.  “You get to join me clothes shopping.”  She drawled menacingly, dropping the subject for the moment.

Jace sat bolt upright.

_Hell no._

He did the bare minimum of clothes shopping to ensure the leather needed to deflect most of the damage from rolling around in the dirt stayed reasonably in decent condition.

“No.”  Jace said.

Izzy smiled devilishly.  “We can go check out that bleeder den afterwards.  There are rumors that some of the vampire clans are intentionally growing their numbers after the recent covens being destroyed.”

Jace gave her a roguish smile.  “You and I both know you would prefer to do that first.”

Izzy shot him a look.

_Maybe not._

Did not hurt to try.

He gave her an irritated glare.  “You know this was supposed to be about you owing me a nice, fancy meal for dragging those chains across muddy terrain for hours.”  Jace muttered.  “Did they even work in holding that dragon down?” He asked curiously.

“Oh yeah.  Mom punched those things straight through one of the wings and used the pain it inflicted to maneuver the chains into place.”  She had a faraway, proud look in her eyes.  “It was amazing to see what she could actually do after years being off the field.  Makes me wonder what she could do before we were all born.”

Jace hummed.  “Would have liked to have seen that.”

After their joint meal Jace found himself being marched towards hell.  A long wandering road towards bright sparkly lights and fabrics he had no desire to be near.  Izzy strode alongside him wearing a gleeful smirk that informed him she knew just how much dragging him shopping was irritating him before they could go snooping for vampire bits.

Jace sighed resigned to his torture and bonding time Izzy had plotting out and trapped him in by dangling the “I O U” dinner treat over his head like a white flag.  “You could have dragged Simon along for this.  At least spare me some dignity.”

That white flag was increasingly appearing blacker with possible white skulls on it the more Izzy practically skipped along beside him.

“Admit it.  You’ll get a sexy shirt to show off your muscles and have every girl swooning over you and you will forgive me once they are done drooling over you.”  Izzy smirked at him.  “Unless you want to impress someone else.”

Jace could not help the answering smirk that formed, his pride and ego taking pleasure in the fact he could show off his looks in a mundane area.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“You sure you are good for a trip into a bleeder den?”  Jace asked for the fifth time that night, rubbing at his parabati rune where it continued to burn against his side in silent demand.

Izzy shot him a sideways irritated glare.  “This was my mission for the night.  I chose it.  I will be fine.”

Jace tried to search for any signs in her body for the yinfen addiction.  He knew it attacked the nerve endings but had no idea how that would manifest in Izzy or what am cravings would appear like.

_I really never noticed anyone in my life that summer._

He had no clue Izzy had gone through addiction back then.  He had managed to weasel the Mark of Cain story out of her while they shopped and his respect for Simon had only increased.  Jace definitely did not admit that fact to Izzy though.

Jace glanced over Izzy’s new dress.  Some tight form fitting thing that would draw the eye of every vampire the moment they entered.  He knew it was intentional, Izzy could take care of herself.  It still made him uncomfortable with her past.

“Whatever you say.”  Jace said increasing his pace slightly to jog up the steps to the bleeder den and pushing his way through the door.

They had already glamoured their weapons and runes.

The vampire manning the door asked them if they were here for the auction and offered them both shots of blood.  Both Jace and Izzy downed that nasty iron concoction, Jace managed to keep his face blank and somehow Izzy managed to pull off a sweet smile back to the vampire.

_Price to pay for undercover work._

And that was just to get in the door.

Jace paused halfway across the room.

_What is Clary doing here?_

Izzy stepped up next to him.  “What is Clary doing here?”  She muttered lowly.

For half a second he expected Alec to appear at his other side to ask the same question.

Then he pushed through the crowd making his way towards Clary, anger starting to form in his gut.  She had no right to even be here.

Jace gripped her arm hauling her around to face him.  “You should not be here.”  He hissed into her ear aware the vampires near them might pick up the conversation through the music.

Clary lifted her chin up defiantly.  “Nathan brought me here because of the accus-“

Jace shook her.  “Shut up!”  He glanced around and spotted Izzy talking to the barkeep already intent on gathering intel for them, throughout the room were pairs of vampires and mundanes stupidly giving away their blood.

Clary shook her hair out, green eyes narrowing at him.  “So you know they are auctioning off Seelies and Shadowhunters?”  She asked smugly.

He had not known.  It was one of the objectives Izzy had wanted to confirm along with the larger task of discovering if the vampires were creating more new vampires than the Accords allowed.

Jace blinked at her, gaze hardening.  “Alright you and Nathan go figure something out with the auctioned ones.  How many are there?”

Clary shrugged, eyes going downcast.  “He did not want me to see any rape happening back there.”  She gestured towards a door that clearly led to a darker portion of the bleeder den.

_Damnit._

They needed a vampire to interrogate.

“Use your feminine wiles.  Izzy is at the bar.”  Jace ordered.

Clary smirked.  “Feminine wiles, huh?  Aren’t you skilled at seduction?”

Jace brought his head down to her neck, stepping closer to her, ensuring the conversation could not be heard as a vampire wandered to close.  “Let’s not be insulting.  I could seduce this whole room if I wanted to.”  He felt her shiver from the proximity.

Jace began to move through the crowds towards that red lit door, stomach clenching in dread of what depravity the vampires had come up with.

Raphael’s coven may have been tolerable, but most vampires that frequented places such as these were the more degenerate.  He tried to recall the name of Raphael’s covens new leader and came up blank.

Stepping inside Jace froze.

Kids.

_They are all children._

Most no older than fifteen.  All shackled around the neck in chains that led to the wall, several of the children had several vampires bites on them already, others remained untouched with numbers strapped to their clothing.  All looked like they were Seelie, Shadowhunter, or mundane.

_The auction._

Jace fought back the sick cold feeling swelling in him.  His seraph blade was on and cleaving through the vampires in the room before he thought it through.  Vampires puffing into piles of dust as he went.

Once all vampires in that room were dead Jace stopped, staring at the kids.  Half did not even acknowledge his presence, others sat and stared at him, another sat there whispering to herself.

_Shit._

He clicked the comm for Izzy.  “The auction is kids.”  He hissed into the comm.

A click confirmed she had heard him.

“I’m getting them out.  Take Clary and try and find the lead vampire in this mess.”  Jace informed her and began cutting the metal chains off the kids.  Total there were about twenty kids, once free some assisted with the others but most just sat there idly.

_Fuck._

He could not move twenty kids by himself.  And where the fuck was Jonathan, Clary said he was back here somewhere.  Even if he requested backup now from the Institute a lot could go wrong before they arrived.

He scooped up the one that refused to move and had been awkwardly holding the chain around her neck even after he had cut her free.

“Follow me.”  He ordered the others, pushing further into the building searching for an exit.  Most followed, but not all of them.

He made it within sight of a glowing red exit sign when he heard the vampires shout from behind them.  Jace set the girl down he had been carrying grabbing his seraph blade as he turned around to face the incoming vampires.

The impact from the blurring form of a vampire nearly knocked the blade from his grasp even as that vampire died in a puff of ash.

The hallway forced the vampires to come at him one or two at a time, allowing him some defensive room.  He inched backwards pushing the kids behind him as his blade swiftly weaved and sliced back and forth.

His ear exploded in an electric screech.

“Demons working with vampires.”  Izzy’s voice screeched over the comm before cutting out.

_Awesome…_

At least now Jace had free rein to annihilate anyone that approached these kids.  Not like he had been holding back before either.  He just had a better justification now.

A few moments later and the hallway was mercilessly quiet, except a few sniffles from some of the kids.

A static transmission from Izzy confirmed that the rest of the den had cleared out of patrons fleeing or had been destroyed.  She had the bartender for interrogation since she had been unable to acquire more information towards the leader.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“They cannot be here.”

It was the first thing Alec had said to their motley group of Izzy, himself, Clary, and all the kids.  Jonathan was unaccounted for.

Jace stepped into Alec’s space staring up at him in challenge.  “Those kids have nowhere to go and you want to throw them out on the street?  They are all addicted to vampire venom right now.  They need us.”

Alec’s gaze went steely blank to cold and hard in a flash.  “Izzy contact Meliorn.  They cannot stay here.  We’re on tenuous footing with the Seelies as it is.”

Izzy gave a sharp nod, but her eyes were creased in confused anger at her brother’s insistence.

Jace drew his head back in confusion, crossing his arms.

“What?  We just saved their asses from three greater demons.  Explain to me how our intentions to help their kids will damage our reputation with them.”  Jace snarled.

Izzy was speaking to Underhill and a medic to prep the kids for the infirmary where some had already been taken.

“Jace is right.  They have nowhere to go.”  Clary agreed with Jace attempting to sway Alec’s confusing decision.

Alec rubbed at his right arm, the habit unbroken, but it was a dead giveaway to Jace that there was an internal struggle pulling Alec’s decision.

Jace’s tightened his jaw.  “Alright.  I’ll bite.  What does the Queen have over your head that we cannot keep these kids?”  Jace asked.

Alec ran a hand across the back of his neck.  “The Queen and I arrived at a mutual agreement.  And I don’t know how she will take Seelie children in this particular Institute.  It’s rather stringent on the fact I don’t enter her realms.”  He gaze flicked back to Jace.  “I did learn your black winged boy was assigned to kill Jonathan.”

Clary’s slight inhale made both of them turn to look at her pale face.

Alec’s gaze flickered towards Clary before he glanced at Jace a silent communication of questions and answers passing between them for a moment.

Clary waved her hands at both of them.  “What was that?”  She glanced between them both.  “Alec?”

The fact she had questioned Alec and not Jace communicated exactly which part she had zeroed in on.

_Jonathan._

“Idiot.”  Muttered Jace.

“Go to my office.  We’ll discuss things in a moment.”  Alec ordered Clary before returning his focus to Jace.  “Get the Seelies to their home realm before I get back.”

Jace reached out grabbing Alec’s arm before he fully turned away.

Alec spun back to face him nearly baring his teeth at him.

Jace slammed himself forward, head-butting Alec hard enough he saw stars himself.  He kept moving himself forward, sweeping Alec’s leg out from under him and bringing him to the floor with a hand wrapped around Alec’s neck.

“You aren’t going anywhere.”  Jace snapped.

He could feel the bond flare from the contact.

_Damnit._

Alec had shown him that the use of the angelic energy required physical contact to even it out.

Based on the sudden quiet near them Jace guessed he might have overdone it throwing Alec to the ground for no reason to everyone else.

“You two ok?”  Izzy called from where she stood with the remaining kids being ushered off towards the infirmary.

Clary had her eyes pinched as she watched their strange interaction.

Jace straightened back to a stand, holding out a hand to haul Alec up from the ground.  Alec grasped it and allowed the pull.

For a moment it felt like they were back during that time when Clary had first stumbled into their lives and they were attempting to track Magnus.  Jace standing with Clary while Alec tried to hold to the laws and rules, opposing sides splitting down the center of their bond.

“They’re just kids.”  Jace whispered gazing into Alec’s eyes.  “Whatever it is she cannot break the agreement for protecting a bunch of kids.”

Jace waited.

_Any minute now…_

He could see the violence that wanted to unleash slowly being reined back in, back under control.  Held tightly to Alec’s iron will.

Alec’s fist tightened at his side, then relaxed.  “They can stay.”

The rune at his side intensified in its intensity, sending burning warmth through his body.

“Let’s track him while Izzy gets the kids settled.”  Jace suggested breaking away from Alec and heading towards his office where he knew something of Jonathan’s would probably be.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The problem quickly arose that they had no physical way to track Jonathan.  He lived at Magnus’s and left very little for them to track with behind each day.

Alec set the metal water flask Jonathan had given him down on the desk.  It was the closest thing they physically had in the Institute without traveling all the way to Magnus’s and asking him to raid his home for a single item of clothing.

_Except the memory of your soul._

Alec ran his fingers along the broken flask, tracing the holes and melted contours reaching in his mind for the memory.  Nothing came forward.  Blocked again.  Something he knew was there but could not fully grasp, elusive until some trigger or mental growth unlocked it from his mind.

_Not like I want to be mad again._

Alec closed his eyes picturing the tracking in his mind, a bright blazing path.  Something to follow that was uniquely Jonathan.

“You ready to do this?”  Jace called as he wandered back into the room.

Clary glanced over from her perch on the couch.  The fact Jonathan had intentionally revealed himself to her bothered him less than the fact he had no idea what Clary would do with that knowledge.

Alec picked up the water flask turning to Jace and drawing the rune along his hand, pressing the flask between their hands.

For a moment there was a tug, a gravitational wave that threatened to pull him under.  Straight passed the darkness and into the brilliant white light.

He knew he had let out a small gasp from the sensation when Jace moved closer.

“Crawl your ass back to heaven and focus.”  Jace hissed his own words back at him, breath gusting across his mouth.

Alec stared into Jace’s eyes, brown against the heterochromia, allowing the pull to begin again, controlled this time.  The glow between their hands increasing in intensity as Jace drew his energy from him to use in the tracking.

He could feel the moment Jace obtained a lock on Jonathan’s location, but he did not let go of Alec hands.  Instead Jace ran a thumb across the reddened flesh around the promise rune, the rune still present signifying he had not broken it.

_Just came ridiculously close._

“Alec…”  Jace hoarsely whispered.

It did not surprise him when Jace shuttered his eyes in pain at what he had found.

“She let you go.”  Alec stated.

Jace’s gaze lifted back up to his, a mix of honest surprise and irritation.  “I don’t need saving, Alec.”

Alec huffed back his quiet derisive laugh.

Jace slid his hand along Alec’s right arm, the slight friction sending a bolt of heat through his body.

“Catch.”  Jace said, stepping away and tossing the metal water flask back to him.

Almost fumbling it, he tried to reengage his brain and managed to snag it before it hit the floor.

Jace arched an eyebrow with a smirk, eyes heated and hooded.

_That smolder…_

Alec glared, Jace knew full well the effect he had on him from something as simple as a touch, a look.

_Like the one he’s giving me right now._

“Did you find him?”  Clary’s voice cut through the fog the tracking had placed them both in.

Jace pressed his lips together to turn towards Clary.  “He’s on that big island closest to Shore Parkway.  Alive and has half the demons there dead.”

_Can’t track over water…_

No sooner had the words left Jace’s mouth that Alec watched him freeze, gaze shooting towards Alec.

_Tracking should not give that much detail on land.  Let alone over water._

Clary’s lips twisted, before she cocked her head in a mocking attempt at civility.  “Just girls, huh.”

Jace’s jaw ticked, crossing his arms across his chest and looking at Clary unbothered by her possible realization.

“Let’s go get Nathan back first.”  Alec stated pulling himself into leader mode and crossing his arms.  “You can finish this argument later.”

Clary stood up sharply.  “No.  We’re having this now.”

“ _This_ does not matter.”  Alec stated with a sharp gesture towards Clary, glancing over at her in bland annoyance.  “Maryse is aware of the shift in strength since both of our deaths.  Let’s go.”  He left the office without another glance at Jace or Clary.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Can I ask you a question?”  Clary interrogated Jace on the way there.

_No._

Alec led the way further up ahead wanting nothing to do with the drama unfolding behind him and Jace envied him the cold attitude and lack of major connection to Clary.

“We need to talk about this.”  Clary demanded, green eyes locked on Jace.

Jace pressed his lips together on a silent irritated growl.

“Did you guys kiss?”  She questioned further almost managing to cover up her hurt.

_I knew this would come back to bite me._

Jace kept his gaze firmly forward and towards their goal, a lone island.  That sadly was far enough away that his immediate degradation of his masculinity would be skewered by Clary by the time they reached it.  Only he did not regret a thing about it either.

_I hate people that can read me right now._

“Please tell me you did not have sex.”  She looked mildly disgusted at the idea.

_Did more than that..._

Jace stopped walking and grabbed her arm halting her movement.  “Stop.”

Clary’s eyes widened in disbelief.

Jace backtracked in his head, before cringing internally when he realized which statement earned a reaction.

“Boat.”  Alec called from ahead of them, pointing towards the docks and ending their one sided discussion with action.

Clary had been mildly impressed when Alec hotwired its ignition and Jace made her drive.

_Did not need a repeat of Lucian’s patrol cruiser over water._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_Dodge._

Alec pivoted smoothly away from the incoming rain of venomous spit the demons had projectiled at him.

The green toxic spit landed on the ground and sizzled the tree trunks he used as a barrier.  Beyond the tree line, Jace and Clary launched their attacks.  Clary’s sunlight rune decimating both vampires and demons alike, while Jace stuck to the far side successfully splitting the forces into more manageable sizes.

Alec sprinted to the next tree to use as cover sending out an array of deadly arrows as he moved.

_Two behind me.  Three near Jace._

He did not question how he knew about the two behind him, only that instinctively he understood they were present.  A sixth sense that always arrived when in combat with Jace.  The shared battle bond between two parabati.

He dropped into a roll avoiding the stinger as it slammed into the tree above his head.  Countering with the arrow still in his hand impaling it into the demon’s eye socket.  Turning from the dying demon he sent an array of arrows into the bushes and another into the trees.  Satisfied when he heard the telltale screech of a demon’s death rattle.

“I’m getting Jonathan!”  Shouted Clary, redrawing her sunlight rune and using it like a scythe to cleave through the battlefield annihilating anything not hidden behind cover.

Alec’s dark eyes locked on where Jonathan had been strung up on a sacrificial X, staked into several places and his blood running towards a demonic symbol on the ground.

_Can’t rely on demonic strength anymore._

Jonathan’s refusal to work as a team had finally caught up with him and now he would be dead by morning if they failed this mission.

_I gave you life…_

He heard Jace’s yell as he cleaved through the two demons near him.

The last demon hissed something in a demonic language, spun and fled from them.

_Damnit._

Alec took one step to chase the demon, only to throw himself backwards at the last moment as a demon’s claw slashed the air where his head had just been.  The close combat attack brought it in range of what was fast becoming his most deadly attack, its thick hide caved under his hand, another blow and its throat spewed black ichor onto the ground from the sharp edges of the seraph blade.

He did not wait for the results, did not want to see the magic spilling onto the ground.  Instead bolting away from the dying demon towards the one that had escaped back towards Jonathan.

_Last one._

Jace beat him to the demon, sliding between it and Jonathan, agility and speed runes glowing brightly, seraph blade raised before him.

A moment later and that demon lay dead.

His parabati rune burned into his side after the short battle.

Clary had scrambled up to Jonathan cutting him free from the wire bindings before shouting for them to help her lift him off the impaled metal stakes.

Alec sprinted over to help her as Jace did a quick circuit around the clearing to ensure they were clear.

Once they had Jonathan off the stakes Alec heard Jace faintly.

“Left side clear!”

Alec hated the fact he could not assist Jace in that check, but Jonathan’s wounds required immediate medical attention.

“Acknowledged!”  He called back.

_Glamour down._

He drew the Iratze across Jonathan’s arms and legs.

“Right side clear!”  Jace called completing his circuit.

“Acknowledged!”  He called back to Jace.  “Clary take a photo of that symbol on the ground.  We’re taking him to Magnus’s.”  Alec ordered.

“Magnus’s loft is further than the Institute.”  Clary pointed out stubbornly pulling out her phone.

Alec lifted the unconscious Jonathan up off the ground in a fireman’s carry over his shoulders.  “His glamour is gone.  Unless you want to explain to the Clave and Maryse why Jonathan is alive and not dead we are going to Magnus’s.”

Clary drew her head back, self-righteously ready to defend her brother further.

“Magnus knows.”  Alec beat her to the argument.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Magnus had not been thrilled to see them lugging the unconscious ex-demon into his home.

Apparently, he had kicked him out that morning informing them Jonathan was no longer welcome except to stop by for the glamour.

_Bad attitude._

Jace could not blame the sparkly warlock for kicking Jonathan out.  Was surprised how long he had allowed the ex-demon to stay in his loft to begin with.

Magnus had stabilized Jonathan with his magic and some potions informing Clary that now that Jonathan was no longer part demon his elixirs would have a weaker effect on Nephilim blood.

Regardless it had done the trick.

Jonathan had never woken during the trip or the subsequent magical healing magic Magnus pumped into him and now lay asleep in his old room.

Jace glanced up from where he lay on the couch slowly spinning his stele and attempting to ignore the incessant burn in his side from the parabati rune; Alec paused in his pacing as Clary wandered back out from Jonathan’s room.

“Magnus thinks that symbol was supposed to use Jonathan as some type of link for something greater.”  Clary explained shaking her head slightly as she thought.  “It does not make any sense.  Jonathan is not demonic anymore.”

Jace narrowed his eyes on Alec, pushing himself off the sofa and striding towards him, gripping his wrist and yanking the jacket up to ensure the promise rune was still intact.

It was.

_Redness went down too._

Alec had stilled from the action, body unmoving.

He ran a hand along Alec’s arm until he could grip his neck, ignoring the flare in the parabati rune.  “Tell me.”

Alec dropped his gaze from Jace’s, biting his lower lip.  “Best guess.  They wanted to use his soul to draw something there.  Only Jonathan’s soul is not linked to it, it’s linked somewhere else.”  He brought his hand up to mimic the hold Jace had on his neck.

Clary lifted her chin up, tilting her head slightly.  “You mean like another twinning rune?”

Jace tightened his hold on Alec’s neck.  “No.  I know it’s not that.  More like blood relation.”

_Tell me the demons are not after you._

Magnus strode into the room, glancing at Jace and Alec’s embrace briefly before heading to his safe and unlocking it in a twist of blue magic and a wave of his hand outstretched hand, turning it slightly as the cogs moved and unlocked.  He reached in, rifled through some pages and pulled one out.

“I believe this belongs to you.”  He handed the sheet over to Alec.

Jace could see Alec’s hands shake when he took that sheet of paper covered in runes and etchings that made no sense besides the fact it was a mix of demonic and angelic symbols scrawled across it haphazardly.

“Is this your payment for healing him?  Handing over his soul?”  Alec questioned walking over to one of Magnus’s bars and searching for something.

Jace felt his eyes widen a bit at that.

_That’s scary, a soul can be reduced to a sheet of paper._

Alec found what he was looking for.  A quick snap and flash of light and the lighter ignited and began to burn the paper.  Curling glowing red and white smoke into the air around him.

Magnus snorted.  “If that was all you would do with it.  I would have done that months ago.  I suppose this way he has full ownership of himself now.”  He wandered across the room to stop in front of Alec, the bar stood between them as the sheet of paper continued to burn.  “Alexander, if would allow me.  I can ease some of that influx.”

Alec eyes flicked up from watching that paper burn to harden on Magnus.  “No.”  Alec circled back around the bar, leaving the sheet to burn.  “I know how to fix this.”  He cast a glance at Jace piercing him with its intensity.  “We’ll stay here for the night and ensure Jonathan returns to the Institute in the morning if that is alright with you.”

_Because a home full of ex’s, in more ways than one, is exactly how this evening should progress._

“Awesome.  I claim my old room.”  Jace announced heading towards the stairs, grabbing Alec’s upper arm and dragging him with.

_Finally, can fix this._

He practically threw Alec towards the bed kicking the door shut behind him.

“Parabati rune has been fucked up since that mission.  Shirt.”  Jace demanded shrugging out of his jacket and yanking his shirt over his head with ease.

Alec had removed his quiver and jacket and was laying both on the ground near the wall when Clary barged in.

_What now?_

She froze staring at Jace shirtless before gathering herself.  “Jonathan had a seizure.”  She blurted out awkwardly glancing between the two of them.

“He will be fine.  It’s the spell breaking.”  Alec replied calmly stripping out of his shirt and approaching Jace with his stele.

Clary’s green eyes flashed dangerously.  “How are you so certain?”  She grit out.

He glanced over at Clary briefly before returning his eyes back to Jace.  “Because we discussed that particular sheet of paper at length weeks ago.  Now get out.”

“No.”  Clary spat.

Alec turned sharply readying a blow, Jace deflected it with a palm redirecting the attack into thin air.

“Clary.”  Jace warned.  “Stay away.  Before you get hurt.”  He kept his eyes on Alec, the tension and clenched jaw.

_It makes no difference what this outcome is…_

Alec had given him his soul.

_And what you wanted was right in front of you long before you thought you had it._

Their connection since childhood burning with heavenly fire.

Jace ignored Clary in favor of studying Alec’s dark gaze, something shifting between heated, dangerous, and unpredictable.

Still struggling with the repercussions of Edom’s influence.

“I’ve got you, parabati.  Let go.”  Jace whispered guiding Alec’s stele to the parabati rune activating it and opening up the connection further to allow the power shared between them to even out without the need for physical connection.

He still desperately wanted that connection.

_Not now.  Later._

Alec closed his eyes, breath rattling out of him, latching one hand at Jace’s nape as if it was the only point keeping him upright, the other dropped the stele to flatten against the parabati rune.

“Fuck.”  Alec hissed out.

The swear jolted a bolt of heat through Jace.

Jace pressed his mouth against the skin on Alec’s neck feeling the heartbeat that he could feel echo in the parabati rune.

For a brief moment Jace wondered what the hell Clary would make of this little scene before he decided he did not care.

Alec would be okay.

He had to be okay.

The parabati rune continued its pulse and burn as the shared power channeled its way through to Jace where his own body seemed to handle it easily.  As if it was nothing.  He could shrug it off just like he could the soul swords power.

_And without all the deaths._

Jace pushed forward suddenly forcing Alec back and gripping the wrist that held a hand against the parabati rune until he had pitched Alec back on the bed, crawling after him to maintain that contact against the rune.

Once settled side by side, Alec with his eyes closed still; Jace glanced over at Clary to monitor her reaction.

His lip quirked without a trace of amusement at her guarded expression.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for leaving me.”  She whispered, but she sounded exhausted, defeated.

“Still have Lucian, Simon…You have Jonathan, your family you always wanted.  You have bonds Clary.  And maybe one day you and I can be friends again.”  Jace said still holding Alec’s hand against his side even as he felt it go lax in sleep.

He glanced down at Alec, still wearing his boots, most of his gear still strapped onto his legs.  The promise rune on his wrist still slightly reddened from something that day.

_How hard was it for you not to give in?_

“I don’t have you.  I always wanted you, Jace.”  Clary said softly, eyes earnest in her own belief.

Jace was honestly starting to wonder if there may be a genetic trait towards mental disorders in the Morgenstern family line.  Her father’s insanity.  Her brother’s madness.

_Obsessive love and compulsion disorders for Clary._

Which just brought back the memory that his own mother might have had a mental disorder.  Yet, Jace had come to the conclusion that when his mother’s psychosis had begun was when she was pregnant with him.  He hoped it was more to do with the injections Valentine had been injecting her with without her knowledge rather than a true disorder.

“I’m tired, Clary.”  His breath hitched in a wince and he looked away from her to scan Alec’s form.  “I’m tired of hiding who I want to be with him.  If you can’t accept that then I can have Alec move you to a new Institute.  Will you really throw away all your connections here just because of me?”  Jace asked.

Clary leaned against the doorjamb, banding one arm across her body.  “Jace…”

Jace swallowed.  “He means everything to me.  You and I, we were in a toxic relationship Clary.  We put only each other first and did not care about the consequences or the people we hurt on the way.  How is that healthy?”

A sniffle from the doorway told him she was holding back tears.  “It’s not.”  She whispered on a choke.

He could hear her boots walking away from him down the hallway growing fainter.

Letting him go.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Peace.

Both an elusive concept and something that spelled a boring, slow death to a warlock.

Magnus supposed in some dark corner of his brain he was grateful his life remained interesting.

He glanced towards the door where Jonathan slept.

_I managed to get rid of you for less than a day…_

A flick of his wrist and a drink formed in his hand, something dark amber colored to match his mood.

Having the ex-demon back in his lair and seeing the connection and care Alexander held for both Jonathan and Jace had hurt on a visceral level.

_Still not completely over him._

Magnus pulled out one of his newer books and sat down flipping it open and taking a sip of his drink.

Alexander had helped him through one of the worst points in his life in his own way.  Losing his magic.  Facing mortality.

_“Can you honestly say you like this?”_

_“Yes!  I won’t lose you.”_

He took another sip of his drink, staring blankly at the book.

_I lost you though._

For all his magic, all his power.  He could not save Alexander’s soul.  Only Jace had held that option.  He could still recall watching the soul energy orbiting through the parabati rune like a neon comet of life.  The parabati curse should have activated instantly the moment Alec’s soul joined with Jace that first night Edom was destroyed.  Yet, it had not.  The bond had already formed far passed that volatile option and stabilized them both.

“Magnus?”  Clary called quietly.

He turned his head to look over at her.  She looked like she had been crying.

_Such a breakable shadowhunter._

It’s what made him like Clary to some degree.  She had heart and compassion, if misguided.

“Just because you do not have Jace’s heart does not mean others are not still here for you Clary.”  Magnus gave her a small smile.  “Trust me, I understand precisely what you are going through.  Watching months’ worth of work evaporate into the air.  Only I think it was inevitable.”

“Inevitable?  You and Alec were about to get married.”  Clary managed to get out through a choked voice.

_After less than a year knowing each other._

He had been an idiot to rush it, rush Alec’s first relationship, craving a connection to another person after a century of blocking people out.  Desiring the physical intimacy with a heavy dose of understanding had been addicting and he had lost himself in that connection quickly.

_Not like Alec had preferred to slow down.  Jumped over every line without thought for once._

Magnus took a slow sip of his drink knowing his expression had crumbled under that statement.  “Yes.  And even with that I think given time, years from now they would have found their way to each other.  I have had centuries to understand how people grow, react, and love.  It does not make me any less infallible to the same emotions, but I can see them easily when I am not part of it.”

“It’s not fair.”  Clary spat out angrily.

Magnus set his drink aside, clasping his hands tightly to ensure he remained in control of his own emotions.  “No it’s not.  But most of life is not fair.  I’ve come to terms with Alexander months ago, but the emotional pain will linger longer.  It’s not your fault that Jace moved on.”

He could see her green eyes brimming with tears.  “I loved him so much.”  Clary whispered.

Even Magnus understood both the relationships had still technically been in the honeymoon phase, only a couple months in.  It did not detract from the grief either felt, but he understood both of them would get over the failed relationships in time.

Magnus blinked his eyes a few times to make his own sharp bleariness go away.  Blinking away the memories of a lifetime of relationships both failed and loved.

“When I lost my magic I thought I was nothing.  Alexander showed me I still meant something even without my magic.  And with my magic, he destroyed a realm to release me from my own choice.  You and Jace shared something when you first arrived in the Shadowworld.  The type of sacrifices you and Jace have given each other shaped who you are now.  But it does not ground you into a fixed path.  It does not bind you to the other just because of those choices.”

“Why not?  He died for me.  Isn’t that love?”  Clary demanded coming further into the room and sitting down on the chair opposite.

_The worst kind._

“He died on a mission, protecting you, trying to stop Valentine.  Do not confuse the two.  How much Jace ever cared for you is up to him to tell you, not me.”

Clary sniffled.  “It’s like I can’t find the light at the end of this.  I keep thinking he’ll come back.  He was everything to me from the moment I lost everything until the moment he lost Alec.”

Magnus turned away sharply to allow her some modicum of privacy, himself as well.  “You are mortal.  Do not allow one relationship destroy your happiness, Clary.”  He glanced back over at her sending her a small smile.  “You had other relationships prior to Jace.  This one hurts.  It will hurt for days to come, but one day you will wake up and it will not hurt as much.”

Clary gave the smallest of nods, staring at the floor.

With that Magnus got up and left for his own room seeking the solitude found there.

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Dark Stained Soul**

**Chapter 11**

By: Evey

 

The heavy weight of Jace half sprawled across his body and the faint tickle of his breath against his neck slowly drew Alec back to awareness.

_Magnus’s loft.  The vampires and demons.  Jonathan._

The soul pendant and his wrist both had stopped the incessant burning against his skin.  The rune at his side continued its more normal flow of energy now they had stayed in continuous contact for hours while asleep.

Secretly he felt mildly proud of himself for staying conscious and the decisions he had made yesterday, the trust he forced himself to place in both Jace and Clary to track and retrieve Jonathan.

He ran a hand down Jace’s back just for the touch and warmth, unwilling to wake him yet.

Alec knew he needed to get up and confront Clary on what she intended with the knowledge of both Jonathan and himself and Jace.  Needed to discover which covens of vampires had joined with the demons after having members slaughtered by both himself and the Seelies.

He refused to move, unwilling to leave Jace’s warmth.

Eventually responsibility began to weigh heavier sending a pang of guilt for being lazy through him.

Alec nudged Jace until he received a groggy response and Jace tightened his hold around him burying his head into Alec’s neck further.  He smiled at the action.

“Jace.  We have to get up.  We need to figure out how many vampire covens feel threatened by the Seelies and Shadowhunters right now.”  He grimaced to himself for the next bit.  “Time to go play mediator and politician.”

Jace grumbled something unintelligible and swung a leg over Alec instead.

With a deliberate sigh Alec allowed Jace to cuddle him a few moments longer before he struggled out of the bed, noticing Jace crack his eyes open to glare up at him in mild annoyance.

“You studied politics.  Not me.”  Jace grumbled grabbing one of the pillows and pulling it towards him now that Alec was no longer his pillow.  “Get back over here.  I haven’t seen you aside from missions since we woke up.”

Alec stopped, loosely holding his old shirt in his hand, glancing back over at Jace sprawled in the bed feeling a small upward quirk form across his mouth.  “We just cuddled for eight hours.”  He pointed out.

“Unconsciousness does not count.”  Jace pointed out belligerently reaching out and snagging Alec’s wrist, yanking him back towards the bed hard enough to force him to bring one knee up onto the bed to stop himself from falling over.

_Sleeping…_

He did not bother to correct him on the difference between the two mental states, unsure if he had passed out or fallen asleep now.  Probably passed out considering he still had his pants and boots on, Jace must have removed his weapon holsters at some point.

“Jace…”  Alec warned.

Jace smirked now that Alec was in range using his other hand to grab Alec’s waistband of his pants and hauled him physically back into the bed, rolling until he had Alec partially pinned.  “Alec…”  Jace replied smugly bending down to bite light presses along the side of his neck.

Raw heat arched down his body growing hotter along each pathway as Jace melded his body to him.

Alec hissed through his teeth at the sensation scrambling to keep his mind on track and failing.

Jace continued to bite and mouth down his neck leaving his brain out of commission and his body in tremors.

“Fuck…stop…”  Alec rasped out.

Jace lightly bit at his ear sending a jolt through him.  “You are hiding from me again since the influx, it won’t stop me from finding you.”  Jace husked into his ear.

Alec frowned at the comment.

_I wasn’t hiding…_

He lost the train of thought the moment Jace traced his fingers along the promise rune, drawing the wrist to his mouth and lightly biting over it.  The touch should not have done anything for him, it did not stop the electricity jolting down his body from the sensation.

_I did not break it…_

Alec arched his head back biting back the moan lodged in the back of his throat.

Jace’s mouth grazed along his stomach traveling to their parabati rune.  “Let me find you.  Let me feel you.”

_Find me?_

He never left.

“I chose you for mine…”  Jace whispered against his mouth nudging Alec’s gently until he responded slowly.

_I’m sorry I worried you._

A phantom pain shot through his right arm; Alec did not stop the slow caress of their lips allowing the apologies to pass between them this way.  It was easier than words and reached deeper in this moment.

Faintly he heard the door creak open and a low meow from one of Magnus’s cats entering.

Gripping Jace’s nape seeking contact, he could not speak, did not want to.  Pressing up into Jace harder, deepening the kiss with a sweep of his tongue, delving into the warmth.

The bond humming between them, calm yet blistering in heat, different than the pure power of the heavenly fire, this heat echoed the pulse and burn of their souls.

_I avoided the Queen, the demons, the illusions…_

He had sworn to himself to never let it back in.

Jonathan had demanded he do so, pull that darkness inside, one request; one slip was all it took...

_I’m his parabati._

Safe from pain, his own dark truths, and choice for the moment.

By an unspoken agreement they both slowed down.

“You in pain?”  Jace questioned softly running his hand down the arm that had been burned, now only faint red in patches and lines, skin unscarred.

Alec shook his head, words still failing him.

Jace closed his hand over his wrist loosely.  “Answer me.”

“Not physically.”  Alec said hoarsely, he barely recognized his own voice.

The promise rune still felt sore but he knew most of that was in his mind and not a physical representation of the mark now.

Jace drew back slightly searching his eyes for the emotional pain.

“Why do you stay?”  Alec asked.  “I nearly broke it.”

Jace leaned forward until his lips rested against the pulse in his neck.  “So did I.  We never kept score before.  Why start now?  I gave you that rune as a reminder, for both of us.”

_Our parabati bond.  The promise rune._

Bound to protect each other, bound to sacrifice a part of themselves if the other died.

Alec dragged his hands up Jace’s back, digging his fingers into the skin there.  “Why?”

Jace pulled back slightly to peer at him, heterochromia eyes shifting with some inner understanding.

Another cat’s meow could be heard somewhere near the foot of the bed as it wandered the room.

He could see a flicker of several emotions shift across Jace’s face.  “Because you needed me to.”  Jace replied.

_I did need it.  You saw that._

“Maybe a little.”  Alec said quietly quirking one side of his mouth up.

Thankfully Jace took the attempt to ease up the tension and did not push the explanation further.

“You know I think we have two cats in here now and a door open.  It’s ruining my diabolical plans.”  Jace smiled at him turning on that smolder in his eyes in a heartbeat; no sooner had he said it one of the cats leapt up on the bed pawing at the pillow to make itself comfortable.

Alec chuckled at that.  “You have diabolical plans for me?”

“Yes, and they involve a lot less cats.”  Jace’s face creased in irritation and tried shoving the cat off the pillow only for it to lash out with sharp claws, he pulled his arm back before damage could be dealt.  “It’s ruining it.”

Alec propped himself up on his elbows enough to watch Jace.  “We should get up.  I don’t know about you but I slept in battle worn clothes from last night and need a shower.”

_Not doing anything in Magnus’s loft anyway._

The idea made him mildly uncomfortable.  Not because he did not want it, but because the break with Magnus had been sudden reaching deep into his soul rather than just his mind.  He knew he was over the warlock, but he also respected him enough to not abuse the trust they had developed since working together for Jonathan’s behalf.

_Only did that because of me._

Jace successfully managed to toss the cat back on the floor without throwing it.  “I’m taking you up to the Institute’s rooftop tonight before the sun sets.  We’re going to watch it go down without phones and no interruptions.”

“You know we will have someone hound us down for a mission.”  Alec pointed out with a twist of his lips.

Jace glanced over at him from where he knelt on the bed now.  “Exactly.  When was the last time either of us sat still long enough to watch the city without worrying about another demon?”

_To long._

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

_The veins turned red, then black arching up the body before him turning the skin into something molten and glowing._

_Step away…_

_He could not.  It held his soul, twisting his body and ripping it to shreds._

_Destroying everything it touched, tearing him apart._

_Finish this torture…_

_“Don’t fight this.”_

_Go back to sleep…_

_The pain had stopped.  His body no longer hurt.  His veins no longer burned.  And the red glowing prison stood before him, the form inside glowing a brilliant red and yellow._

_His hand caressed that shell.  “They don’t care about you.  Just look at you.  A monster.  A destroyer.”_

_“You don’t need to do this.”  It begged him._

_“Yes.  I do.”_

_The memory, dream shifted.  The creature stood before him, dripping wet blood splattering against the floor, pieces of the prison crunching underneath._

_My creator…_

_“What’s in me.  It’s evil.”_

_“That line that stands between shadowhunters and demons.  Not so clear now, is it?  Stuck between heaven and hell.  This is your life now.  Just look what you’ve become such a pure shadowhunter.”_

_He jumped ahead in the conversation in his mind, skipping unneeded parts._

_“You will not be left behind.”_

_“Liar.  We both left half of ourselves behind to rot.  The first greater demon will destroy me.”_

_“I will protect you.  From you enemies, from your choices.”_

Jonathan blinked his green eyes open on that voice speaking to him.

The memory dream, broken pieces of a conversation was nothing new.  Perhaps it had been his time as a demon, but the painful recreation crooned memories into his skull easily.  Memories he adored because it signified the moment he transitioned.  Although he had not thought of it in such detail in a long time.  He could easily recall the entire event if he wanted to, usually had no desire to look back at what both he and Alec had been.

_My burned demonic self, reborn pure._

Blinked again as the forest he remembered being strung up in resolved itself into Magnus’s loft.  His room to be exact.

_He kicked me out that morning…_

Magnus had discovered what Jonathan and Alec had been searching for in his research with demons.  A way to extract demonic essence from a soul easily and repeatedly without harm.  Needless to say the shiny warlock had become calmly enraged at the blatant disregard for the sanctity of the soul, using his magic to cast Jonathan’s things into the hallway and had kicked him out with a warning to only show his face to renew the glamour each morning.  He had spent most of that day tracking down a new place to stay and moving his things.  Surprisingly, Lucian had assisted him thinking Jonathan a friend or lover to the warlock that had abruptly soured.  Before returning to the Institute that day, only to fail that mission to the bleeder den.  He never failed, rerouted a plan certainly, never failed.  Failure had always meant pain and burnt skin.

_Did she come after me?_

Jonathan kicked the sheets off his body, ignoring the pain from his limbs and most of his body.  Pain was easy to ignore and the sharp and dull aches throughout his body brought a catharsis to his mind.

“Here.  I have water for you.”

Clary’s voice startled him, eyes snapping towards the sound to where she perched in the window with her sketchpad and pencil.

_Thought I was alone._

He pulled the sheets across his body realizing most of his pants had been cut away to access the wounds as she set her sketchpad aside to grab the water glass nearby and bringing it over to him.

Taking it he drank deeply for a moment, studying her over the rim of the glass.

“We got you back.”  Clary explained glancing away as a faint flicker of pain twisted her features.

_Educated guess spelled that out._

“Mhm.  It would seem the vampires dislike being used as fodder.”  Jonathan ensured the sheet stayed over him as he walked over to his dresser knowing there were a handful of clothing items left behind he could not cram into his suitcase, collateral to be used for tracking, and pulled some out.  “Personally I thought the dead would welcome being dead.”

“Fodder?”  Clary parroted.  “Jonathan…”

He finished pulling clothes on over the bandages and tearing off the ones that no longer needed to be used now that the Iratze had done its work.  “How else do you think those chrysalises were created?  Blood, rivers of it, Clary.”

_Perfectly rewarding me with savagery and sadism._

Her body turned from him slightly, shielding herself from that horrid fact.

“I want us to be open with each other.  Like when we talked about our mom.  Jonathan, how can I help you?”  Clary asked finding some inner resolve he could never fathom.

_Ask the right questions._

Problem was Jonathan did not know where those questions even began or if he even wanted them asked.  The rage and anger, his conniving brutal mind had been with him his entire life.

“I don’t know.”  He said.

It was quite possibly the most honest answer he had ever given her.  No lies, half-truths, or truth twisted into a lie separating that single statement.

“Well, let’s start with breakfast and go from there.  Simple enough right?”  Clary suggested with a small hopeful smile.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Hold still!”

“Izzy, get it off!”

Jace was halfway down the hallway from his shower when he heard Alec and Izzy arguing about something.

He vaguely reconsidered returning to the bed now that the cats had all left the room.

A loud yowl of pissed off feline drew him down the rest of the hallway.  It turned out to be Alec and Izzy and a cat.

_Where is Simon when I finally am not the one under threat of humiliation?_

“Don’t hit it!  Don’t hit me either!”

“Would you quit freaking out!  It’s a cat.  Stop moving and it will stop digging its claws in.”

Jace’s brow rose.

Alec stood tall, hair still damp from his shower, attempting to reach behind him where a tabby cat had dug its claw’s into his shirt and skin; Izzy stood behind him a look of focused concentration attempting to dislodge the cat from her brother without hurting either of them.  The cat gave an irritated yowl and clung harder, scrambling for further purchase with all four limbs.

Jace blinked at the ridiculous scene of two demon hunters losing the battle to a single cat.  “Think you might need gloves.”  Jace muttered loudly enough Izzy heard him.

“Get over here and help me get the leech off.”  Izzy called not looking away from her task.

Jace took a step back raising his arms up in a silent _hell no._

“Scared of a cat?”  Alec growled, irritated amusement laced the words as he continued to try and snag the elusive beast from his back.

_Not unless it has rabies._

The blatant call out worked.

Jace found himself coming over to the ball of fur, pulling it by the scruff of the neck off Alec’s back until its claws let go leaving small holes in the back of Alec’s shirt.  “I can’t believe you got beat up by a cat.”  Jace felt amusement crossing his face in a slow smile.

Setting the cat down where it circled around them; Jace spun his stele in his hand in a silent request.

“I don’t need an iratze for a cat.”  Alec muttered.

Izzy snorted back a laugh.  “No, you will just catch cat-scratch fever.”

“That is not even a thing.”  Jace told her raising his leg up as the cat wandered towards him, looking up at him expectantly before it turned and meandered away from him.

Izzy smiled plopping down on the nearby couch.  “Sure it is.  Just rare.”  She gestured to her brother.  “Simon knows about Jonathan now too.  Clary called freaking out last night after your retrieval mission.”

“The kids?”  Alec questioned wandering over to the nearby mirror to pull his shirt up and check the damage.

Jace could see Izzy’s eyes widen slightly at Alec’s back.  The cat had not left more than faint lines along his skin, but the demonic runes had formed into scars and Alec rarely worked out without a shirt on.

Jace had grown accustomed to them knowing they were no longer active and they had been fading over time, slowly just as a normal rune would.

Alec dropped his shirt back down.  “Izzy?”  He questioned glancing over at her silence.

Izzy blinked.  “Right.  The Seelie kids have all been moved into the Seelie realm safely.  Meliorn oversaw the entire transfer.”  Izzy stated expression crumbling into sadness for a moment.

Jace could not tell if it was due to the scars she had not seen in months or the kids, both probably.

A flash of color and sparkles signaled Magnus’s entry into the main room, he handed a set of keys to Izzy.  “Here are the keys to Jonathan’s apartment.  He’s conscious now and stable enough to be moved.”

Alec’s brow furrowed.  “You kicked him out?”  Alec demanded.

Magnus flicked his gaze towards Alec before shrugging one shoulder up.  “He is your mistake.  I have dealt with him long enough.  I informed him he can swing by each morning for the glamour, if he misses it that is on him.”

_Would not be a bad thing for the psychopath to learn humility._

Humility he should probably have considering Magnus graciously allowed them to stay even with his clear irritation towards the ex-demon.

_Anger that should be directed at me, considering._

Jace winced internally, the last time he had physically stepped in this loft had been directly after the Seelie Queen’s reveal and the demon attack.

_Thank the Angel Magnus was not present when I stumbled in._

His heterochromia gaze crossed the room to where Magnus stood tense and guarded.

“We’ll head out soon.”  Jace said cutting through the discussion Alec and Magnus had been carrying out.

“Once we discuss things with Clary and Simon.”  Alec continued.

_Shit._

This was precisely why secrets had destroyed his life before.  Jace was fine with himself holding secrets, just not others.  He could not predict what they would do and now there were so many factors involved.

“Simon is trustworthy.”  Izzy said from her perch on the couch now, eyes creasing in tension towards her brother.  “You don’t think all of us have been through enough that we cannot figure our way out of this?”

Magnus leaned his head and body back slightly shifting towards Jace, golden eyes flashing.  “I’m more concerned about what you-“  He pointed towards Jace.  “-intend to do about Jonathan and Clary.  Both you and Clary have a reputation for making ill decisions.” 

Jace grit his teeth in anger at the warlock.  “You can stay out of it to start.”  He warned.  “I’ll talk to Clary.”

Magnus tilted his head slightly, eyes nearly rolling.  “That’s comforting.”  Magnus replied sarcastically and began rifling through his bookshelf for something locating it and pulling out a book waving a hand across the cover in a flash of blue to disable a spell.  He smacked the book into Jace’s chest.  “Take that to her.  It might help her create a rune to remove her brother from my life permanently.”

Jace took the book and wandered down the hall until he located Jonathan, Clary, and Simon.

Simon stared out the window and Jace could see a tight strain in his jaw even though he could not fully view his face.

_Secrets held from both Simon and Clary…_

Jace hoped these secrets would not tear Simon and Izzy apart.

He moved his focus to Clary who perched on Jonathan’s bed drawing while he ate breakfast, eggs and sausage.  “Hey.”  Jace said softly, tucking the book under his arm.

He opted not to hand over the book, Jonathan could rely on Magnus’s magic to remain hidden.  It would keep him in check rather than having freedom to roam the world.

Clary looked up from her sketchpad, green eyes dark with too many emotions.  “I won’t let you kill him.”  Clary declared.

Jace jerked his head back glancing at Jonathan.  “Really?  You could not have told her exactly who knew about you after she figured it out?”

Jonathan lifted one shoulder unapologetically.  “I had hoped she might remove you from this world in her lust for painful vengeance.”

_Thought you idolized Alec to ever touch me._

Unless somewhere in that convoluted mind Jonathan wanted him dead and just could not perform the deed himself.

Clary’s green gaze jumped between them both in surprise.  “I would never kill Jace!”  She exclaimed at both of them.  “How long have you known?”  She demanded at Jace.

_Long enough._

Jace glanced away from her briefly before returning his gaze to hers.  “Since you got back from the Academy.”

Jonathan made a low noise of irritation at that, clearly having thought he had outwit everyone a bit longer than that.

“Why did you withhold it from Clary?”  Simon asked from the window not turning around.  “Secrets tore my family apart.”  He turned around to face the group.  “You do not think these secrets will tear what little relationships we have left apart?”

Jace clenched his jaw.

In a perfect world telling the entire world about everything without killing anyone would be a path worth choosing.  This world was broken.

He opted to ignore Simon’s pointed statement.  “Clary, you threatened me.”  Jace snapped.

“Maybe you never should have left!”  Clary screamed at him rising from the bed.  “Jonathan is my brother.  First you withheld that you were not my brother and then you withhold information when my real brother is still alive.  Who even got him out?”

“Alec.  Magnus.”  Jonathan supplied unhelpfully leaning back against the headboard with a small amused grin watching the fight unfold.

Jace could see the moment it clicked in her head as her face dropped several shades, eyes still staring daggers at him.

“And when did you change?”

Of course, her focus fixed on Jace’s relationships when her brother sat safe.

Jace tightened his hold on the book.  “What do you intend to do about Alec and I?  I won’t blackmail you, but given how much Alec has changed he might.”

Clary’s eyes narrowed in indignation.  “Jace, I might hate it.  I might disagree with it and I have no idea how you are controlling it.  But I won’t hand you over to be killed.  I do want you to trust me and tell me why.”

_Why?_

Desperation to keep his parabati intact in any way possible that had morphed into need.  Need into something stronger that he had only admitted aloud once.

Jace shrugged one shoulder up.  “Call it plausible deniability why I did not trust you with Jonathan.”  He turned from Jonathan’s room.  “Come on, Clary.   Let’s go talk.”  He did not bother to wait for her, knowing her curiosity and need to resolve the fragments she clung to.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O - O

 

The moment Jace had left the room Alec could feel the weighted golden gaze from Magnus burn him.

Questioning silently.

Asking when the space had opened up between them only leaving room to discuss Downworlder matters and coordinate Jonathan’s continued path towards humanity.

_It’s been months._

The warlock had been through hundreds of relationships prior to him, what difference would a handful of months mean to an immortal.  The cold, critical thoughts barely wavered through his mind.

Izzy shifted from her spot but refused to leave the room.

Another problem.  Another person hurting.

“What do you want me to say?”  Alec asked into the silence, not sure which person he was addressing.  Both?  Neither?

“Whatever you need.”  Magnus replied taking a seat opposite Izzy allowing both couches to remain open.  An invitation to choose sides, to choose who he trusted more.

_Would either of you trust me if you understood just what I can do?_

He glanced over at Izzy and her similar brown eyes to his own, hurt, concern, and sadness warring within.

“You want some bright guiding revelation why?”  Alec questioned her coming over to sit down beside his sister reaching out tentatively to place a hand on her shoulder.  It was all the contact he could stand right now.

Magnus leaned back in his seat, fingers flexing over the edge of the armrest.  “Would like to know how the ex-demon managed to get himself beat up and why the vampires are using a demonic symbol and Jonathan’s blood to track an unknown demon.”

Alec did not understand why Magnus allowed him this out easily.  The symbol Clary had taken a picture of.

The symbol that had not worked because of a sheet of paper.  It would never work now that it lay burned into ashes either.  The dual irony of that fact not lost on him.

He dropped his hand away to focus on Magnus in all his metal necklaces and silken clothes.  “The vampire covens within New York have suffered heavy collateral damage in the past months during both the Shadowhunter and Seelie crusades against the demons.  Jonathan had been on mission reconnaissance locating a vampire bleeder den.  That den was discovered to be auctioning children off to the highest bidder to be used as a personal banquet until they died from anemia.”  Alec explained.

_Collateral damage was a massive understatement.  Entire covens had been wiped out._

Izzy already knew this from last night and had dealt with the children directly once they had all arrived at the Institute.

Magnus tilted his head forward in concern.  “Are the children safe?”

“Yes.”  Izzy said, a small frown towards her brother because of his demand to remove the Seelie children to their own lands quickly.

“Vampires breaking your accords.  That is your jurisdiction to handle not mine.  Vampires clearly want to increase their numbers, why join with the demons though?  They can easily make their own without the assistance of demons.”  Magnus questioned absently conjuring a coffee into his hands to sip at it.

Alec glanced at his sister to the side.  “The covens will face the consequences of their decision.  Can you contact Lily, Raphael’s old coven?”  Alec asked Izzy.

Izzy reached out a hand to wrap it around his shoulders unexpectedly.  “Remember when you told me about choosing our battles and how we won those battles?”

It had been after one of their first missions together with Jace.  There had been an elderly man possessed attempting to kill his family.  Izzy had killed him in front of the family rather than risk the possessed man kill anyone.

_“It was a risk.”_

_“I made the right call.  That family would be dead.”_

_“Use your whip to drag him away next time.”_

_“The demon is dead, isn’t it!?”_

_“The way we complete a mission is just as important as the mission itself.”_

They had argued and discussed for days off and on the ethics and codes shadowhunters should adhere by.  In the end Izzy had created her own fundamentals that fit her personality without putting people’s lives at risk.  While Alec had rigidly followed the law, attempting to control everything and failing.

“I remember.”  Alec said, unsure why she was bringing this up now.

“Good.  Don’t forget that.”  Izzy said cryptically.

Alec locked his gaze on her willing her to inform him what she actually was implying.  Unfortunately, Izzy had years of practice to ignore his cold stare; she smiled gleefully over at Magnus.

“So I have to know, how did Alec get you to help him out with Jonathan.”  Izzy demanded with a grin.

Magnus shook off his confusion about Izzy’s statement with ease, smoothly leaning back to smirk back at her.  “Alexander had an inventive way to allow me into Alicante with the wards up.  It was not an adventure I could pass up easily.  Also, I owe a debt from before.”

Izzy raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“We all know the Clave would be unhelpful and I did break into the Silent City that one time.”  Magnus paused cocking his head to the side in thought.  “Might have broken into a few other places the Clave would disapprove of.  I just needed to add Alicante to the list.”

Alec rolled his eyes at that.

It had taken Magnus’s considerable power, several charms, painted derivative runes, and hours of work to prepare Magnus to step foot within Alicante.  It was also the only time they had worked together smoothly without the awkwardness of their past relationship hanging over them.  Both focused on their respective tasks.

Magnus leaned forward to conspiratorially lock eyes with Izzy.  “It’s not often a warlock meets someone as eloquent as Alexander.”

Izzy grinned brightly, a short laugh barking out of her.

“I bribed him.”  Alec finally explained with a huff of annoyance.

Bribed him with an explanation of breaking into Alicante’s wards, sharing the knowledge of how to do just that, and three items of Alec’s that the warlock could use to track him if need be.

“Yes, the soul of the damned.  Has a certain ring to it.”  Magnus gestured towards his safe.  “I did already have one, was not much of a bribe.  I did it for _you_.”  He said more earnestly.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Simon had left Jonathan’s room with them but had parted ways saying he wanted to go face Izzy and not be a coward.

Jace wished he felt the same sentiment as Simon did towards his conversation towards Clary.  He had brought her up to the top of the loft away from the others with the intention of talking to her about him and Alec.

It felt like he was walking into a prison cell rather than the open space on the top floor.

Times like these Jace wished he had the vampire’s ability for encanto or a warlock’s ability to wipe memories.  Would make having to talk much easier, reducing speech to nothing but a spell.

_Cut out the middleman._

Jace scoffed at himself.

He full well knew his guilty conscience would eat him alive if he ever had those abilities.

Jace stopped in a fairly uncluttered portion of the open floor plan sweeping his arms out as he turned around to face Clary.

“You know all the secrets now.”  Jace stated, voice scraping out rawer than he wanted.

She had been looking at the floor but her green gaze flicked up when he spoke.  “How long have you two been together?”  She asked bitterly.

Jace shrugged crossing his arms across himself and consciously not grabbing his stele to spin through his fingers.  “Not sure.  Long enough.”

“Jace…”

He clenched his jaw.  “Does it matter?”  Jace asked harshly.

She stepped towards him but kept the distance not invading his personal space.  “Yes!  It matters to me.  How long?”

“Around when we found that warlock housing all those demons before the Rift mission.”  Jace admitted uncomfortably.

Clary took a step back away from him, blatant hurt creasing her features.  “Wow.  I mean that’s…months.  You said I was the longest relationship you had.”

_Yup.  That was true at the time._

Jace took a breath.  “Can I trust you again with this?  With us?”

Clary’s eyes shimmered but none fell.  “I told you the truth when I said I would not kill you.  How, how did you two even happen?”

_Each time I felt his soul…_

Jace paced away from her wandering the open space with no real destination, only needing to move, needing to keep the distance.

“Jace, explain it to me.  Please.”  Clary begged from her spot rooted to the floor.

Silence held.  He did not want to name aloud what had transpired between him and Alec.  It was to personal, to volatile an edge.  Yet, he had been the one to drag her up here searching for an earful of her self-righteous anger.

_“Thought you had less masochist tendencies.”_

Alec’s voice rolling through his mind with the memory made him grin patronizingly at himself.

“Are you going to overreact if I explain it?”  Jace questioned glancing over at her red haired form.

She shot him a withering look.  “I do not overreact to anything.”  She snapped harshly stomping towards him in anger before catching herself.

Jace quirked one side of his mouth up with one eyebrow raised.

“Alright, I promise I won’t yell.  Just give it to me straight.”  Clary declared throwing her head up and straightening her shoulders, prepared for the blow Jace was about to deal her.

Jace blew out a breath trying to calm his racing heart, tension forming in his shoulders, hand itching for the weight of his seraph blade or stele even though this battle remained in their heads, in their hearts.

“You know he did not have his soul when he came back from Edom.” He started strong and easily.  “Our bond brought it back and somewhere along the way of finding him…”  He trailed off.

He felt his jaw tick at the unusual display of his voice falling into pathetic oblivion.

_Weakness.  Coward._

Clary squeezed her eyes shut before opening them to glare at him.  “Just say it.  You got involved.”  Clary said sounding exhausted.

His throat felt tight, he could not get the words out.

_Barely got them out once._

Jace nodded once confirming it instead before glancing away staring at a random sun patch on the wooden floor.  It reminded him a bit of the flickering lights outside of Pandemonium, Magnus’s club business.

Time brought back the memory of her stumbling into him on that fated mission that brought her into their lives.  Destroying her life and opening it up all at once.

_Why couldn’t I have tried for a friendship with you first?_

“I do miss talking to you.  I miss the friendship we had underneath all the drama and lust.”  Jace said.

Clary huffed something derisive and rude before sighing.  “I cannot force you to love me.”  Her eyes cast down before rising to meet his gaze.  “Can’t even force you to like me.  You two were always oddly intimate.  I caught that the first time I saw you tracking together, more so when you tracked Jonathan.  Just give me some time to absorb this.”  She gestured towards Jace’s body.

_Gave you over two months at the Academy and more to come to terms with our ended relationship._

He felt his jaw tick again to hold the words in.

Maybe not exactly him being with someone else, maybe that was why she had such a hard time letting go.  She could not stand the thought of him being with another person if she could not have him.  The thought unsettled something inside him, an awareness of the Morgenstern psychology.

At least Clary did not see just how far the parabati bond had extended, how deep into his soul he could feel Alec.

“How do you plan to avoid the Clave with this?”  Clary asked taking a couple steps towards him now that a faint resolution towards a coexistent path had opened up.

_Shit._

Jace clenched his jaw.

The one factor he had zero idea how to overcome.

“Alec took out Edom, raised your brother into a shadowhunter and kept him hidden from both the Clave and Seelies.  Pretty sure we can figure something out the Clave will agree to.”  Replied Jace, blasé as bullshit.

Jace waited to see if she would call him out on it.  Alec would have in a heartbeat.  So would Izzy.

Clary’s brow creased but she did not call him out.

With a growing realization Jace understood that while they had lusted after each other; had begun to understand each other’s nuances there was a lot years worth of knowing each other could not account for.  That both of them had changed in the months of separation until neither could read the other well.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The balanced weight of the bow soothed him after a couple days of constant political discussions with the vampire covens across New York.  The target on the other end of the training hall had already been filled with red fletched arrows.

_“Destroyer.”_

Another arrow found its way to the other end of the training hall.

_“Closest thing…”_

He cut that thought off focusing on the one greater demon left, according to Jonathan’s list he had sent to Magnus early on thinking Alec dead.

Another arrow slammed into the target on the other side of the hall with a dull thunk.

He was running out of time.  The demons and vampires had both underestimated Jonathan’s brutality, had also underestimated Clary’s sunlight rune presence.

_That sheet of paper stopped it._

Burning it had cut the connection Jonathan had to both himself and the paper.  Allowing him to be a free soul, just like any other shadowhunter.  The only blood connection Jonathan would have now was to Clary, his actual blood relation.

It was always the small things that shifted the tide of a battle.

Another arrow whistled through the air and slammed into the target.

_A demon searches for what will hurt the most..._

“You know with these vampire coven summits every day I’m half tempted to think you have been avoiding me.”  Jace called from the door as he entered the training hall, muscular body moving with ease.

Aside from sleeping in the same bed, both of them kept missing the other due to the demands of their roles as Shadowhunters.  Alec staying up all night with the vampire covens, Jace dealing with training during a portion of the day and patrols for part of the night.

A quick glance informed him of several scratches healing from an Iratze, the scratches had probably been large gashes an hour or two ago.

“Not intentionally.”  Alec replied easily lining up another shot.  “The demons have been increasing in number on your route.”  He did not phrase it as a question.

Jace smiled picking up one of the swords and spinning it around in his hand.  “I think they just want to challenge me.”  He frowned slightly.  “You think they are intentionally targeting certain locations?”

He let the arrow fly turning to face Jace.  “I think they are targeting you.”

The smile and relaxed attitude Jace held dropped away.  “Why?”

_Because they failed with Jonathan and you are the next target.  Izzy probably as well._

Alec pressed his lips together before explaining.  “They wanted that rift open, they wanted to travel through the Seelie realms to escape to another hellish dimension, they will not have given up searching for a way to a new hellish dimension.”

“Then why not use a warlock?”

The question, a valid one, held merit and had been tested during Jonathan’s little experiments with Magnus.

“A warlock can only summon a demon from their original dimension and send it back to that same dimension.  Jonathan and Magnus tested that.”

“I have angel blood.”  Jace paused in his circling of Alec.  “You.  They want you.”

_Damnit._

Alec shook his head slightly.  “We can only guess who or what they want to accomplish their goals.”

“Alec.” Jace came forward gripping the nape of his neck, practice session temporarily forgotten.  “I know what it’s like to feel out of control.  We’ve dealt with the others already.”

_It is not enough._

Alec stepped closer to him needing to feel Jace alive and safe, he kept some space between them pressing their foreheads together instead.  “I’m sick of reacting to these greater demons.  I want it over.  Done.”

“Then let’s finish it.  Together.”  Jace said staring into his eyes with that unique heterochromia gaze he could get lost in.

That dark sliver of his soul, the one that remained when he fled to Jace kept its whispers.  It had grown louder since his discussion with the Queen.

_Draw it in, set it on fire…_

Jace’s grip on his neck tightened harshly.  “Alec?”

_Not that monster anymore._

He tilted his head down until their mouths almost touched.  “You see it don’t you?”  He whispered.

“I see you.”  Jace tugged him forward.  “I feel you.”  He brushed their mouths in a barely there caress.  “That struggle flows through our bond.  I know you question yourself.”

“How did interrogation go with the vampire?”  Alec questioned returning the light caress allowing their bond to warm his body.

Jace bit Alec’s lower lip lightly for the attempt to change topics.

“Tell me who you are.”  Jace whispered against his mouth.

Alec felt his brow crease in confusion at the statement.  Jace knew precisely who he was.

“Alec…”  Alec said confused, slowly chasing those warm lips, but willing to play whatever game Jace wanted.

“Tell me what you are.”

It slipped out before he could stop himself.  “Destroyer.”

Jace stilled in front of him.  “You’re wrong.  Try again.”  There was a hint of a sad smirk in his voice.

“Your parabati.  A Shadowhunter.”

Jace ran his thumb along Alec’s throat, retaining his grip at the nape of his neck.  “Human.”

_“My heart.”_

He could hear the echo of Jace’s unsaid statement through the bond as a warm feeling wrapping around him, telling him he could rest, could pause in the decisions weighing him down as a leader.

“That’s your argument?”  Alec felt humor somehow forming in his voice as he chased Jace’s lips again.

Jace gave a hum into the warm kiss; Alec could hear the cocky grin in it.

Alec slanted his mouth more firmly over Jace’s, pulling back after a moment to whisper.  “You think your irresistible charm is distracting me?”

Jace smiled against his mouth.  “I think it is working.”

_Didn’t need to enhance your ego further._

Alec lightly bit at Jace’s lip for the over confidant statement earning a low chuckle from Jace; the sound elicited a steady burn through his veins, sparking and shifting towards a pleasurable demand.

Alec’s phone went off interrupting them, it was one of the Institutes he and Maryse had sent one of the two parabati survivors that had their other half still locked in a hellish dimension.

Alec pulled away from Jace reluctantly.  “Sorry, I need to take this.”

Answering the phone, he heard the Head of the Institute from Tokyo.

“Alexander Lightwood, speaking.”  Alec spoke into the phone, partly turning from Jace.

_“Head of Tokyo, Riko, speaking.  I’ve called to inform you that the shadowhunter parabati you sent to us from Project Sacred lost their parabati today.  The rune faded from their skin.”_

Dread filled his veins.

“Is the survivor still alive?”

_“I’m sorry.  No.  They committed suicide within moments of it happening right in the middle of the training hall.”_

Alec grimaced.

The small hope Alec had felt for that last survivor blew out.  It was a fact he had hoped to avoid but given the newness of the bond for those sent and unable to allow the bond to settle before being forcibly ripped into another dimension, he was not surprised.

“Burn the body.  Give them a proper burial.”

_“Suicide is normally-“_

“That’s enough.  That shadowhunter died honorably waiting for their other half to return.  Every soul deserves to be released.  Give them a proper burial.”

A lengthy pause.

_“Agreed.  I’ll see it is done.”_

The phone call ended.

_That was the last remaining survivor with a lost parabati.  He had lived much longer than anticipated._

The anger and regret surged up, nothing was nearby to hit.  Shaking he set the bow and quiver down.

“Alec, it was not your fault.”  Jace said pacing towards the boxing bag, already aware of where Alec was headed, based on the one side he overheard.

Alec slammed his fist into the bag, feeling the pain travel up his arm.  “How many more have to die before I fix it?  I am supposed to be a protector.  I am supposed to protect them.”  Alec snarled more angry at himself than anyone, swinging at the bag again.

Jace started to wrap his hands for a proper fight.  “Suppose to protect my soul too.  We protect who we can, when we can.  Can’t save everyone.”

Alec hit the bag again allowing another juddering jolt up his arm.

“Hit me.”  Jace commanded once he had finished the wraps.

The second he disengaged from the unyielding boxing bag, direction and focus followed instantly.

It arrived because he required nothing but his body and his nerves firing off instructions.  Nothing but blood, muscle, and their bond.

The icy objectivity of a fight, a battle.

Jace matched him move for move, faster even.

_Focus.  Faster._

Alec kicked Jace backwards, a cheap move but he wanted the aggression.

Jace easily caught himself and came back at him with a wicked smile, slamming his hand into Alec’s ribs and almost catching him in the face before Alec deflected it.

Alec returned the punches just a quickly; Jace deflected each one with his forearms.

His arm trembled on another strike.

_Adrenaline.  Just adrenaline._

He could feel the parabati bond syncing into its usual battle form.  Alec gave himself over to it, he sensed the moment Jace felt the cold shredded portion of his soul, patched and cracked but still a part of him.  The part usually kept hidden from Jace, the part that relished in the dark power.  The part left behind.  The destroyer.

Jace froze for a fraction of a second, gaze shifting from surprise to something warm before stepping closer to Alec.

The lack of any type of negative emotion stilled Alec, stopping his response to any direct attack, which allowed Jace to move close enough to run his hand over Alec’s parabati rune.

“You’re with me.”  Jace whispered duking his head enough to catch his gaze.  “Our hearts still beat as one.  We’re still parabati.”

Alec shook his head.  “I don’t know how to make it right.”

“Maybe you never will, but you showed me.  You promised me.  Now prove it and stay with me.”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Eternal gratefulness for Simon choosing to stay with her, for standing by her side even when she hid her brother and Jace from him.   Apparently with his vampire hearing he had already guessed most of it before ever transforming into a shadowhunter, but had chosen not to bring it up.  He was incredibly hurt she had not trusted him with the knowledge of a potential killer wandering the Institute, Jonathan.  It did not stop the fact he had told her in explicit terms how much her distrust of him had hurt their relationship.  Spending hours discussing it off and on had helped, broaching the subject of trust in starts and stops.  Snippets of their normal banter filtering in with the levity of the massive trust issue she had exposed their relationship to.

_It was for a good reason…_

That fact had helped her slightly, not enough.

But they had decided to work together on the project Izzy had assigned herself.  Understanding what Alec had become.

Between watching him somehow survive a point blank fireball filled with shrapnel that had killed another shadowhunter nearby when they saved Max, observing some of the strange interactions between him and Jace, and the subtle things both the Seelie Queen and Meliorn had hinted at had made her delve into that elusive phone and every blood sample she had extracted from her brother.

_Seelie’s were right when they said Alec was something new._

Alec had somehow changed, shifted, from a shadowhunter to something else entirely.

It was that shift from vampire to shadowhunter that Izzy was currently studying with Simon’s help in her lab.  Comparing it with Alec’s scan Jace had taken directly before the reconnaissance mission providing her a chance to understand her brother.

_Angelic.  Demon.  Something else._

“I was a Daylighter, vampire with angelic blood flowing through my veins.  It did not change who I was as a person, just what I could do.  You think these scans are telling you something similar?”  Questioned Simon from his stool opposite her in the lab while she continued to stare in vain at the computer screen.

_Yup, Simon had something similar._

Locating a piece of clothing with his blood on it from before his transformation had taken her days to find.  Simon had helped resulting in a complete cleaning of his room and rearranging every object within, followed by a trip to Magnus’s and Simon’s old apartment to repeat the process.  All things they had done while Jace and Alec were gone on mission to the Unseelie realm and continued after the mission to the Unseelie realm herself.  She had to do part of it solo while Simon was in the infirmary a couple days after that demonic battle, but overall they accomplished most of it together.

She had then compared the blood samples she had taken from her brother and frozen months ago against Simon’s recent collections.  Both Simon’s vampire self and his present self.  She had to be careful with the remains of the vampire blood, she only had enough for two comparisons with it.  There were similarities but enough differences to dissuade any concrete conclusions.  Scanning herself and Simon as shadowhunters had added pieces to the puzzle.

“Deciphering the difference before and after has been difficult, but I have the mathematics Magnus and I came up with when we first captured him and Jonathan.  Those have been helping.”  She leaned towards the screen willing it to make sense.  It did not unveil any further truths.

Simon gestured towards her scanner sitting on the table.  “Even if we do find something, what are we going to do about it?”

Izzy smiled over at him.  “Since most of this change happens to focus on soul power.  Between Edom’s souls being released, Alec’s change and what happened to his own soul.  It will probably take something with the parabati bond.”

“Um…aren’t they already…”  Simon flushed darkly staring anywhere else in the room.

“Yup.”  She popped the word between her lips.  “Valentine injected himself with demon and angelic blood thinking he could gain powers from that.  In some degrees he did, you also saw the effects of that blood in Jace, Clary, and Jonathan.”

“But that’s just blood.  You said this was all energy.”

Izzy nodded her head, tilting it slightly still staring at the figures and numbers before her.  “Yeah, only that energy changed the mutagens in his DNA.  From all appearances it looks like he could feasibly hold both angelic and demonic energy at the same time, even with that magic stain gone from his arm.”  She scooped up her phone from the table, dialing Jace.  “Come to the lab.  I need to talk to you.  Do not bring Alec.”

Jace showed up several minutes later looking mildly annoyed, blond hair slightly disheveled.

Izzy quirked an eyebrow up at his state.

“I’m here.  What’s the catastrophe?”  Jace grumbled from the doorway leaning against the doorjamb and crossing his arms.

Izzy quirked her finger indicating him to come further into the room.

With a mild huff and a glance back outside Jace did.

“That scan you performed on Alec.  I told you I wanted to discuss it before.  You dodged it back then.”  Izzy said scooping up her scanner.

Jace bit his lips before spitting out.  “He’s fine.” 

She pointed the scanner at Jace, acquiring a scan of him, popping the datacard out and shoving it into the computer to load.  “You’re lying.”  She replied lightly even though her insides twisted.  Izzy glanced over at Jace to watch his face.  “I just informed Simon that I suspect Alec capable of harnessing demonic and angelic energies still.  Right now Alec’s scan defies nature, at least our understanding of it.  It is this strange conglomerate of power and genetics.”  She paused watching the complete lack of surprise or concern form.  “None of this is new to you, is it?”

Jace glanced away, arms flexing from their crossed position.  “It’s how he protected Max and closed that rift.  You already knew he could take the energy from the demons.”

Simon emitted a small sound of disbelief and amazement.

Jace grimaced.

Izzy felt herself frown.  “That was before that stain on his arm was removed.  Are you saying that it is still present?”  She asked heatedly coming around the table towards Jace.

“I’m saying he’ll always have that struggle.  Does not change who he is.”  Jace pulled himself away from the door adopting a casual demeanor that Izzy did not buy for a second.  “We have one greater demon left from Edom to locate.  I believe a lot of the strain will decrease once that threat is gone.”

_Guess that answers his “life is a struggle” phrase._

“Jace, does Alec ever hurt himself intentionally?”  Izzy asked gently.  It was something that had been bothering her ever since she noticed that phrase on repeat in Jonathan’s phone.

_“Pain means you are alive.”_

Jace’s mouth turned down and thinned at the question, eyes showing he had been thrown by the question entirely.  “No.  Not intentionally.”

_That’s a relief._

Did not answer why Alec and Jonathan referenced it frequently.

_Unless it had to do with the starting point to all of this.  Edom._

“Jace, I’m concerned about the part of the scan it does not match any sentient being in our databases.”  Izzy explained, trying to convey just how worried this had made her.  How her own instincts made her wary of her own brother.

She could see Jace clench his jaw tightly.  “He’s not a demon.  That part your scanner detects is probably the same reason Magnus could not pull that stain off his arm.  It’s part of his soul, he’s only now accepting that.  Don’t push him.”

Izzy narrowed her eyes at Jace.

She could tell he was giving her the bare minimum of information again.

Izzy leveled him with a deep, serious look.  “We’ve been taught all our lives that any amount of demonic infection would eventually lead to a full infection of this nature.”

“He won’t.”  Jace snapped glancing back towards the door clearly wanting out of there.

She knew that already based on her scans and the bloodwork, but she needed to push Jace to reveal something, anything.

_Time to break out the medical lingo._

“Next time he goes into a hyperthermic shock from whatever went wrong in the Unseelie realms what will you do?  What about if septicemia or that vascular infection returns?”

She could see Jace pale slightly at the questions, but he refused to back down now that he knew she was backing him into a corner.

She continued.  “What are you trying to prove by hiding information from me?”

Jace drew his head back, eyes flaring in irritation before swallowing.  “Izzy, all he needs is you to treat him like he’s human not a science project.”  He said lowly.

The statement knocked the wind out of her.

Unable to connect to her brother in the past months had left her attempting to learn about him in ways she understood.  Science, technology, logic and her passion for truth.

_And I completely forgot the human connection._

She wanted to smack her hand across her face.  She had been so consumed with helping Max with his recovery after the mission gone wrong and then uncovering her older brother’s secrets she had forgotten to just talk to him until he eventually caved.

_Like I did before I let being afraid of him get in the way._

Jace ran his hand through his blond hair debating something.  “He’s in his room, just knock.”  He said after a moment still partly annoyed.

It clicked then, his partially disheveled state when he arrived.

“Interrupt?”  She drawled with a small smirk.

“Hardly.”  Jace said, glancing over at Simon who had remained silent through the exchange.

“This could be his natural state now.”  Simon pipped up at last before gesturing towards Jace.  “I mean Jace has angel blood and we do not see him sprouting wings and turning into an angel.  And you said it yourself, Alec has both.  And in mundane culture Nephilim range from anything from half-human, half-angel to half-angel, half-demon.  Then you have the whole idea of fallen angels starting demonkind.  In a way perhaps Alec is just some ancient form of what may have been around thousands of years ago in legends.  I mean something must have created those initial angelic symbols in Edom, wouldn’t it make sense for it to be the fallen angels, the first demons?”

Izzy felt her mouth open slightly at Simon and that mountain of theories he had been building silently.

“He’s still Alec.”  Jace said expression tight.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Alec had turned to applying his stele to arrows and fletching each one as he went.  Allowing the meditative practice to calm him.

Between everything going on in the Shadowworld and the vampire issue now, neither Jace nor himself had had much time to each other.

_Need to make time._

Somehow.

He picked up the next arrow beginning to add the red fletching to the end of it, carefully, methodically ensuring it would fly straight.

They had moved to his room to talk, but that had been interrupted before it ever started by Izzy’s phone call.

Jace had said she had wanted to discuss something a couple days ago and had not had a chance, with a lingering kiss had said he would be back shortly and that it would not take long.

Alec had occupied his time in preparation to hunt the last greater demon wherever it lurked.

A soft burn enveloped his wrist occasionally as his thoughts drifted through ways to track and face that threat.

He heard the door open, no warmth spread through the parabati rune.

_Not Jace._

“I want to say something to you.”  Izzy’s voice cut stiffly through the air.

Alec continued to add the red fletching to the arrow.  “Say it.”

She came towards him until she could crouch down to his level in the chair.  “I always looked to you to fix everything.  To make everything perfect.  When you came back from Edom I kept thinking Magnus and Jace would just magically fix you and there would be no repercussions after that.  That everything would be fine.”

Alec shot her a glance, took a breath to speak and then remained silent to hear the rest of what she wanted to say when she lifted a hand up.

“I put that pressure on you because you were the Head of the Institute.  And I let you down thinking you could walk away from Edom unscathed just because Jace and I would have faltered had it been us.  You’ve never faltered, you always picked yourself up and tried again.  And I should not have put that on you.”

Alec set the arrow he was working on down with a light clink.  “Izzy, everyone expected me to adapt and lead.  That has never changed.”  He turned to face her.

Embarrassment, regret, and fear shone in Izzy’s eyes.

She straightened up looking down at him.  “And that’s where I went wrong.  We all expected you to clean up our messes over and over.  And then we expected you to be fine when Edom happened.  You adapted to survive Edom.  And that’s ok.  I know you struggle with it.  And that’s ok too.”

_Is it?_

Today had been the first time he had shown Jace the darkness intentionally.  The only other person that understood that was Jonathan.

“It’s a part of me, Izzy.  When I had Jonathan traveling to various psychologists I did a lot of my own research into it to ensure I assigned the right one to him.  We’re soldiers, we’re survivors, and both you and Jace have reminded me we are human too.  Each facet of that has a different mentality, a different way to approach a situation.”

_Shadowhunter, vampire, werewolf, demon.  The human side always remained._

Izzy smiled slightly before it dropped again.  “Cognition and dialectical behavior.  Does not stop that you have changed.”

“Like Simon and Lucian changed?”  He asked bitterly before hardening his gaze on her.  “Why can you accept them but not my own change?”

Both had underwent a similar transition as himself.  Their bodies being rewritten at the magical and molecular level.

Izzy pursed her lips in thought for a moment.  “Yes.  I’m sorry I did not treat you as my brother all the time.  I told you to come to me and I should have sought you out if I had my own questions to ask rather than trying to discover it as a scientist.”

_Not like I treated you like family either._

Alec rolled an arrow across the desk with one hand for a moment, one that was bare of fletchings.  “I did not exactly let you in either.  But that mission to Edom, I never should have stupidly gone in alone.”  It came out rough and he had to stop for a moment.  “The things I did.  Made myself do.”

He stopped, staring at the arrow on the desk.  Perfectly straight, sharp point on one end, bare on the other.

An arrow that could not fly without two other parts added, the fletching to help guide and the sharpened tip to help pierce.

“I told you before.  You would be afraid of what goes on in my head, the thoughts and where they take me sometimes.”

Izzy frowned.  “Alec.  I’m stronger than that.  You can tell me.  You can trust me.  Trust Jace with it.  I’ve spent weeks trying to understand it and I have a ton of questions.”

He did not want those questions asked.

“But I don’t think right now is the time to ask those questions.”  She continued.

Alec blinked, blinked again stunned.

He knew Izzy’s craving for knowledge, to understand everything around her.

“Why?”  He asked shocked.

“Because just like you need to trust me again.  I need to trust you too.  We almost lost Jace because we did not trust each other.  I almost lost myself because I felt distant from everyone.  We used to be a three man team and the past year or two has broken us.”  She gave him a small smile.

_Trust her…_

He had refused to trust anyone except Jace and Jonathan.  It was not that he had not wanted to trust Izzy, it lay in the fact he could not guarantee that he could trust her in return.  Which was stupid.  He already had with him and Jace, with Jonathan’s life, with fragments and pieces.

Alec looked away from that arrow shaft until he met Izzy’s eyes, a strange mixture of several emotions in her eyes.  The only ones he could pick out for certain was hope and fear.  “Alright.  No more lies.”  He said.

“Good.  You keep with that, we’ll be alright.”

She acknowledged that the relationships between herself, Jace, and Alec were broken rather than trying to ignore it.  The fact she both pushed and waited all at once allowed him to accept it as well.

“Okay.”

It was not to long after that Jace wandered back in and the three sat talking like they had not done since before Clary had wandered into their lives.  The last time they had talked like this was perhaps during the birthday party, but this time it felt more relaxed, less strained.  Small pieces of his life being revealed that he had kept hidden and even through the more relaxed atmosphere Alec could feel the promise rune burn each time his mind wandered down another path silently.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Watching Clary become mildly impressed with the apartment Jonathan had managed to scrounge up on a day’s notice amused him.

Once he had awoken and had food Magnus had insisted he remove himself from his lair until he learned to have a conscience.

_I have plenty of conscience._

He had not stabbed the warlock in his sleep for months regardless of how annoying that sparkly being had become.  Personally, he thought he should be awarded a medal for tolerance of self-sacrificing idiots.

_Maybe clear the red from the Clave’s rap sheet._

He watched as Clary wandered through the smaller apartment, but considering it was just himself there he did not need a particularly large place.  The current couch, bed, and computer had all been stolen or bought with stolen money from oblivious mundanes.

_Shadowhunters invisible to the scurrying mundanes…_

He grinned at the memory of sitting in the subway station casually pickpocketing every few passengers that walked by for an hour until he had enough cash to buy what he needed.

_Morals._

He supposed Alec might frown at the way he provided for himself, but he had been unconscious.  It’s not like Jonathan could ask him for money at the time.  Thus he had a valid excuse.

“Well, this is actually really quaint.”  Clary said as she returned from checking out the bedroom and bathroom wandering back into the main room that also held the kitchen.

Jonathan sipped at the apple juice in his hand, body still requiring liquids having bled quite a bit for that blasted tracking symbol.  “It’s sufficient.”

Clary frowned at him.  “It also has zero protection from demons here.”  She pointed out bluntly.

Jonathan shrugged.  “I’m good at killing.  If they show up I will slice demon throats and stake the vampires.”

Clary tossed her head back, green eyes flashing.  “The place is nice.  But it’s not safe.  You can’t stay here.”

Jonathan smiled at her, everything lined up perfectly.  His opportunistic nature gleefully almost rewarded for his patience and irritation at never having uncovered his soul on paper in Magnus’s loft.

Magnus’s irritation, Alec’s nature towards his soul, and Clary.  Lovely, gullible, trusting Clary.

“I cannot safely live in the Institute.  If the glamour fails, I cannot leave.  Unless you can come up with a glamour rune that’s as strong as Magnus’s glamour.”  He informed her.

Clary appeared taken aback for a moment before her expression morphed into hard determination.

_Perfect success._

“I don’t know how long it will take to come up with a rune like that.  But I can certainly try.  I did figure out necromancy and how to hold a greater demon.  A glamour should be simple enough.”  Clary declared boldly.

His smile grew wider in triumph and appreciation.

Only to falter when he noticed one single demonic rune written faintly etched into the countertop.  Almost infinitesimal in its size.

_Despair._

He had an appointment to meet with death.

Jonathan glanced over at his red haired sister sitting comfortably in his presence.  Safe.

Now to ensure they both remained that way with the only means he understood how.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Mom, you wanted to see me?”  Izzy called as she stuck her head into the Head of the Institute’s office.

Even though Alec had only held the title fully for around a year before becoming Joint Head with their mom, this office still felt like it should belong to her brother more than their mom.

_Strange.  Considering technically she has had this office longer overall._

Maryse glanced up at Izzy, motioning for her to close the door behind her before walking over to the nearby filing cabinet and unlocking the bottom drawer.

_Confidential assignment?_

“I have deliberated over this particular assignment and decided the best fit would be you and Lucian.”  Maryse explained carrying the file over to her desk and setting it down in front of Izzy.

Izzy glanced at her mom in a mix of pride, confusion, and wariness.

Maryse had a tendency to assign Jace all the confidential missions and by default her brother, Alec as his parabati.  She rarely went to Izzy for anything serious, it had not been that long ago that Maryse acknowledged Izzy’s perceived weaknesses as her strengths.

Pulling the file towards herself she flipped it open.  Within the first statement she felt the bottom of her stomach drop out from under her.  It was three words that stood out starkly compared to the rest of the list of known parabati.

_Locate parabati curse..._

“That file does not leave this room.  I am showing it to you so you are aware.  The mission is simple in its objective.  Uncover why parabati are forbidden.  Lucian and I already made some headway on this topic when we were searching for a cure for Alec when he still had that infected mark on his skin.”

Izzy felt her heart resume beating and inhaled sharply, staring at her mom with wide eyes.

Maryse thinned her lips for a moment before answering Izzy’s wide eyed stare.  “They are aware I understand the bond has shifted to something more than what the current law allows.”  She slid another larger file towards Izzy, this one filled with passports and warlock passes that would allow for travel around the world.

“You want me and Lucian to uncover something that has had thousands of years of cultural influence until the law no longer has a basis?”  Izzy asked slowly, unbelievably.

Maryse smiled at her.  “That is precisely what I want you both to accomplish.  The Clave was wrong about Clary, wrong about Jace, wrong about attempting to track Downworlders like animals, wrong about a lot of things.  I have begun to search further into law and discovered there is an abundance of rather stupid, pointless laws.  Lucian has already made progress towards locating the origin of the curse and has several leads to follow; we’ve been studying magic and the parabati bond since Alec was released for that cell months ago.”

Izzy felt her jaw drop open in amazement.

_Apparently living as a mundane and almost losing every child in some fashion changed her._

She watched as Maryse’s expression became mildly amused.  “Did you know there are laws in existence that forbid people from falling asleep in a cheese factory?  Apparently some patrol gone wrong created that law.  Or that you require a permit costing $50 to play soccer in Alicante?  One of our noble families felt that the noise level coming from the park during a game was too much for their delicate sensibilities.  What I am trying to explain to you is that perhaps this parabati law has been lost to culture and has no real basis.  Think about it Isabelle?  We have an entire world of shadowhunters spanning the globe.  There are literally thousands of parabati pairs.  Once I sat down to actually think about it I found it difficult to believe that this supposed curse has never formed over thousands of years given the sheer number of parabati pairs over that time frame.”

Izzy nodded slowly, still unsure and entirely off balance.  “I have not noticed much difference in their abilities either.  Aside from Meliorn’s statement about killing that greater demon.  But Alec did that single handedly with Azazel when it went after Magnus.  And we have tons of historic references of a Silent Brother or Iron Sister or a number of shadowhunters killing greater demons as well.  An op usually has a three man team.  Can Simon be added?”

Maryse shook her head.  “Alec wants to send him to the Academy now that he has had sufficient time to adapt into his new sense of self.  Once he has completed training I can send him to join you and Lucian.  Lucian has not been informed about Jace and Alec.”

_Won’t take much for a past police officer to figure it out though…_

Although given everything Jace and Alec had done for Clary, Izzy doubted he would do anything with the information.  If anything it would serve as a further driving force for him to uncover the mystery.

_Will need to ask him why he wants to uncover this mystery himself._

That driving factor would inform her how much she could trust him.

“Alright.  I’ll do it.  Operation accepted.  Let me go say goodbye to a few people and text me when to meet with Lucian.”  Izzy said scooping up the larger folder with the passports for both mundane and shadowhunter.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

_“…Closest thing to a greater demon.”_

_“Demon’s mark out their territory, just as mundanes and shadowhunters do.”_

The Queen and Meliorn’s voices kept returning to his thoughts, keeping him unable to focus on working out where the last greater demon hid.

Jace was probably gaining more knowledge flipping through books across from him in the library searching for the location of the last greater demon than Alec had in the last several hours.

_And Jace just returned from training._

Izzy had left on some worldwide mission Maryse had not informed him of and Simon had left the same day for the Shadowhunter Academy.  Jonathan had been quiet the last few days and Clary had once again been ignoring her duties in favor of spending time with Jonathan at his apartment or on whatever mission Jonathan chose.

_At least he is finally willing to work with someone rather than run solo._

Run ahead into that brilliant pillar of white light.  Phantom pain blistered through his skin.

Alec jolted upright as that memory unlocked from behind one of the barriers Brother Zachariah had erected in his mind.  Surprised when the memory did not bring the craving instantaneously, more an awareness that the darkness could be and not a demand that it had to be.  However, it did make the words cycling through his mind louder.

“You find something?”  Jace questioned from his side of the table, palm holding his head up as he flicked his heterochromia gaze up towards Alec.

_Traces of how to hunt it down._

“Nothing concrete yet.”  Alec rubbed at his arm, staring blankly at the pages before him.  He could hear shuffling of other shadowhunters far away in the library performing their own research, the sounds muffled to near nonexistence from the alcove they sat in.  The library had several such alcoves set up for study and research so others would not interrupt.

_“…closest thing to a greater demon.”_

It kept echoing in his head.  Loudly enough he knew the emotions it was causing inside him; Jace was probably picking up on.

He clenched his hands together rubbing his thumb across the top of the other hand hard to keep himself from rubbing at the arm again.  “The Queen called me a greater demon and I can’t get it out of my head.”  Alec finally spat out the caustic words at the book, unable to watch Jace’s reaction.

He heard a swear from Jace before the sound of the chair being pushed back and Jace circled around the table to Alec’s side.

Jace gripped under his jawbone tilting his head up to look at him.  “You are not evil, Alec.  That power you have, it does not make you a monster.  It’s what you do with it.”  Alec could see him swallow.  “Valentine was from a race of angelic beings, Shadowhunters, and still brought war and corruption.  You stopped the destruction of our world, twice, with it.”

_You asked me not to touch the darkness…_

The hold on his jaw tightened.  “Do remember the question Hodge gave to us as kids?  Does integrity defeat evil?”  Jace questioned almost angry.  “We thought of course integrity would defeat evil when he first gave us that question.  Now that we understand the world that answer changed to: Not always.  But you still think, still feel like a shadowhunter not some howling demonic beast.”

That power struggle that had resided in his body for months, thinking it was about heavenly fire and demonic essence.  It was neither and both, it had been about the balance inside his soul, to accept himself.  Both his shadowhunter self and the destroyer as himself.

_No wonder the parabati bond kept requiring physical contact more than usual._

His own soul had been the one out of sync since returning to his body, not the bond.

“You saw the madness, felt it.  Will you still accept me?”

“Always.”  Jace murmured.

Promises easier said than kept.

He ran a finger along the promise rune on his wrist, unerringly locating it from the mild burn.

Alec held Jace’s gaze allowing him to see the intent there.  “I cannot watch hundreds more die to another greater demon.  Not when I have an ability that can kill it.  The Angels knew what I did in Edom.  They know what I am now.  I haven’t immediately been struck down with divine lightning and burning fire.”

Jace clenched his jaw.  “Not funny.”  He growled lowly.

_No, but oddly it proved that the parabati bond curse was something the Angels did not care about as well._

“Then help me figure out this balance inside me.” 

Jace blew out a breath, eyes scanning over Alec’s face.  “Magnus said something once about balancing his power with some potions after he changed Simon, something about the added power.  I don’t think potions will help you, but maybe runes, meditation, something that is not a hellhound tracker.”

_You._

Alec’s lip quirked up slightly.  “I sort of wanted to keep that hellhound as a pet.  I did not expect him to vaporize from the shield.”

Jace leaned back slightly, raising his eyebrows slightly.  “Bad joke.  Really bad joke.”  He griped out poorly amused and annoyed.

_Was not entirely a joke._

Might have been too soon to bring that past back up.  Only even as Alec thought it he could feel both a mix of pain and acceptance through the bond from Jace.

He pushed the book away before focusing on Jace’s face.  “There are days that I think anyone with humanity in them is worse than the demons we hunt because they can choose between savagery or honor.”  Alec said.

Jace grinned confidently at him, a slight strain around his eyes.  “Good thing you are attached to someone with angel blood then.  I’ll just force you to choose honor.”

Everything kept circling back to balance.  Every time he thought he had a grasp on it, it slipped away.  Balance within himself, balance with the power, balance between good and evil.  Light and the dark.

_Confliction._

The angel’s conflict had created the demons via the fallen angels.  That angelic power shifting to darkness from the pressure of the fallen angels will.

“It’s just power.”  Alec murmured tilting his head into Jace’s hand absorbing the warmth.

Power that mere mortals could not change the nature of; Angels and greater demons could.

“If it’s just power than we can track it and destroy it.  Same mission as before: search and destroy.”  Jace said objectively, sliding his hand down Alec’s throat to clutch at his shoulder.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Izzy did not know what to expect from Lucian’s home.  Perhaps rundown with secret compartments hidden all over the place.  The guy did live in hiding for near eighteen years and had been a high ranking member of the Circle before he turned traitor on his madman of a parabati.  But the crisp clean, organized rooms was not quite what she expected.

_Discounting the main room._

Izzy strolled through the short hallways from the kitchen to the main room where Lucian was already awake and going over another old tome.  Scrolls, tomes, and notebooks lay on every available surface.

She sipped at her coffee.  5 a.m. might be normal for their lifestyle but she had found it difficult to sleep last night.  Apparently she had become accustomed to Simon beside her and now that he was gone to the Shadowhunter Academy and herself on mission, she found sleep more difficult than anticipated.

_That never happened before in past relationships.  Not even with Meliorn._

Lucian glanced up from his reading, dark black shadowhunter runes standing stark against his skin rather than the green glow of the werewolf curse in his eyes.

“Ready to discuss the greatest lie of history?”  Lucian questioned her with a wry smile.

Izzy returned the grin.  “I do want to know why you are doing this?”  Gesturing at the material strewn about the room.  “Why you have been studying all of this for months.”

Lucian’s expression did not change much, still open and friendly, fatherly almost.  “The praetor, the werewolf politicians in a way, wanted a shadowhunter to assist them with Downworlder issues and laws.  The Clave has gone unchecked for entirely to long.  I agreed to that when I first joined Valentine all those years ago.  However, I disagreed with the way Valentine went about inventing change.  Your brother, Alec, has a different approach.  One through changing laws and tolerance.  However, most of his agenda has stalled out or slowed down because of the continued conflict of greater demons and that issue with the Seelies recently.  When Maryse approached me about searching through the praetor archives for information on magic and the parabati bond after Alec managed to escape being turned into a Silent Brother I understood this task would travel down roads people have kept hidden for hundreds of years.”

_Wish my dad cared about us as much as Lucian cares about his adopted daughter…_

She shoved her anger towards her father away for the moment.  Nothing would ever make her forgive her father for enrolling Max in that torture and suicidal program.

Izzy plopped down on the sofa crossing her legs.  “So why help?”

“You, Alec, and Jace all kept Clary alive when she first entered the Shadowworld and I was unable to help her.  I raised her like a daughter for most of her life.  I can never repay the three of you for keeping her safe.  However, protecting Alec and the praetors designs for changing certain laws are one and the same.  We need him to make those laws change.  No other Institute leader is willing to face the Clave like your brother has done.  He created the Downworlder cabinet, he stopped the deruning and killing of shadowhunters returning from possession.  If we need to discover the source of the curse…  Then I will.  Not going to lie, I have some questions about that as well.”  He stared at her hard after that.

Izzy set her coffee on the table.  “Show me what you’ve got.”  She ordered.

Lucian got up and wandered over to a stack of old scrolls.  “This law…   You know how the Clave looks at laws.  The law is the law.  A crime is a crime.  They do not have much room for grey areas.  And in a way they are correct.  If people are allowed to judge arbitrarily, then how could anyone maintain order?”

Izzy pursed her lips in thought.  “We were always taught certain laws were coded by the Angels but most of our laws have been made over time by our people.”

Lucian pointed at her.  “Exactly.  Who decided when this parabati bond was right or wrong?  The Angels did not decide that.  Humans, shadowhunters decided that.”  He grabbed up a massive stack of papers handing it to her.  “That is my list of every known parabati pair around the world that I have managed to confirm in the last month.”

Izzy glanced at the top number on the spreadsheet.

Total: 20,000 pairs of parabati.

_Given one month that would only account for major institutions not any of the outliers and branches.  Which meant there were a lot unaccounted for._

“Ok…”  She said, searching for whatever it was Lucian had latched onto.

“There are 7.5 billion mundanes in our world.  There are 8.6 million in New York alone.  Now we already know that there are several Institutes on every major continent, not including every fort, research hub, and station that houses more shadowhunters.  We protect the world from demons and that does not just mean one or two cities per country.  There are literally millions of us worldwide.  Now I decided to error on the side of caution and went with 0.001% as the frequency of parabati pairs worldwide.”

Izzy snapped her gaze up, eyes going wide in realization.  “But that’s not true.  People may say parabati are rare but it’s not really.  You were one, Alec and Jace are, my own father was one.  It’s actually more common than not.”

Lucian nodded in agreement.

“The Clave cannot be naive enough to believe that with this many parabati pairs not a single one has activated the curse this year alone.  Don’t get me started on centuries worth of why there is not a single record.”  Lucian continued, eyes sharpening on her.  “Eros would be a constant worldwide, but it is not.  The effects of the curse should be common knowledge, again it is not.”

Izzy interjected before Lucian could continue down that road.  “But the other half is common knowledge.  Parabati die, turn into werewolves, vampires, break the bond to follow the path of the Brotherhood or Iron Sisters.  All of that is common knowledge.”

“When it breaks, yes.  I have personal experience feeling my own parabati turn mad, hate me, distrust me, and ultimately try and murder me.  It is not a fate I would wish on anyone.  Some have used the excuse that parabati pairs cannot be male and female in case they fall in and out of love.  Well, from my own experience, it does not matter how much you did or did not care for the person before the bond breaks.  It still hurts and you still find a way to pick up and move on.”

“So you are saying that even ignoring parabati falling in and out of love, the bond breaking from that, we would not reach this curse?”  Izzy asked carefully, heart pounding loudly in her ears.  She already felt strung out and had barely begun this project, anxiety for her brother and Jace clouding her judgement.

Lucian smiled.  “I believe after realizing just how many pairs are out there that while the Clave has ripped some apart for falling in love.  Those pairs still did not show signs of the curse.”  He gestured towards Izzy.  “Pretend you and Simon are a parabati pair.  When you actually started realizing you were in love with him, did you know first or did those around you know first?”

“I knew first.  I’m living it.  And…oh.   The curse should have activated long before the Clave ever catches wind and destroys the bond.”

“Precisely.”  He started gathering up a few select older scrolls and tomes.  “I have to return these to the praetor’s main base but after that we are traveling to Rome.  I think there or somewhere in England is where the curse idea first formed.”

_The actual effects should be common knowledge.  They are not._

Izzy was not sure if that made her feel relieved or frightened by that revelation.  Either the Clave had hidden something and had teams hunting down parabati, unlikely because the family and friends would have made a fuss by now if that was the case.  Or the Clave had pushed the agenda forward for control.

_For once I am glad Alec gave me lectures on his boring political discussions with mom growing up.  Managed to pick something up._

A bad law was no law at all.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The seraph blade glowed steadily as Jace swept his stele across the runes strengthening and renewing the power inlaid in the blade.  The energy within the blade hummed and lit up across the blade as normal during preparation work before silencing and dimming.  It would glow during combat.  His body ached with exhaustion that had nothing to do with the ten hour training sessions and routine missions he was used to.

He glanced from the corner of his eye towards where Alec sat tracing his stele across the bow string slowly and methodically.

They were preparing for a hunt, tracking really.  Searching for signs of the greater demon, which had been suspiciously quiet ever since Edom’s downfall.  All of the others had quickly gone into destruction mode and made themselves noticed in the Seelie realms or had been involved in the rift opening in the sky.

_Unless you include the one with the massive ego that tried drinking that cup in front of everyone just to die later._

That particular greater demon made no sense to Jace unless he factored in the mundane methodology of the seven deadly sins.

_Pride maybe?_

His gaze traveled back over to Alec, drawing down the lean body focusing on the muscles along his arms and dropping further down across his body.

“You’re doing the thing.”  Alec commented distractedly continuing to run his stele along the bow string.

Jace smirked, feeling a warmth coil through his body, sparking through his blood.  “Not doing anything.”  He turned back to his other seraph blade, pointedly ignoring Alec’s stare even though he could feel it burn across his body.

“Jace, I need you.  What I said earlier…  I said it because it was bothering me, not because I intended to bring that back inside.”  Alec said as he approached Jace and speared his fingers into Jace’s longer blond hair tilting his head to meet his gaze.

Jace closed his eyes against the pain that cut deeper.

“Let go.”  Jace ordered softly.

Alec did only to move his hands to enclose Jace’s wrists loosely.  “Still can’t trust I won’t leave you?”  Alec pressed his mouth against Jace’s shoulder.  “I literally crawled out of hell for you.  To reach your soul.  I won’t turn back from that.”  He mouthed lazily up towards Jace’s neck sending swirls of heat through his veins, simmering with potential.

“You complain I derail your thoughts with a look.  This is entirely unfair.”  Jace muttered tilting his head to the side slightly; he felt Alec smile against his neck before moving to barely brush their mouths together.

Jace did not react, challenging Alec silently.

“This is us.”  Alec growled, capturing Jace’s mouth fiercely.

The lack of much response from Jace shifted the kiss into a slower, deeper one; laced with sudden sadness, want, and frustration.

Alec squeezed the nape of his neck, other arm banding around Jace.  “I won’t leave you.”  Alec whispered into his mouth.

_No, but you are still running.  Barely acknowledged the darkness cracked across your soul to me.  Required a Silent Brother to block it out._

He traced his lips against Alec’s, moving to the top of his shoulder where the dark veins had once been before returning to his mouth.  “Give me your soul, the part that you hate.”

“Don’t…”  Alec’s voice shuddered out broken.  “You don’t…”

“I do.  I want all of your soul.  Even the part damaged permanently from Edom.”  Jace whispered vehemently.

Jace could feel the shiver of tension form in Alec’s body at the request; Alec’s hands pulling him closer and dragging up his back leaving warmth and cold in their wake.

Alec traced his hand over the parabati rune on Jace’s side, nudging their mouths together to deepen the hovering kiss neither had insisted on increasing until now.  Guiding Jace across the room, away from their weapons and duty, until his knees hit the mattress edge.

Jace pulled back enough to search Alec’s gaze.  For a long moment Jace stared, words fading before they ever left his throat.

_There you are…_

Both the gentle warmth, longing, heated lover and the cold, clinical, solider.  Neither being held behind the usual barriers Alec held up around everyone else.

He ran a thumb along Alec’s jaw.  “Alec, you told me you would always be there for me.  That is why we became parabati.”

Alec shot him a half wry smile.  “We became parabati because you asked me to.  I wanted to give you what you wanted, even if that was the only part I could have.”

“You’re an idiot for hiding that from me for so long.”  Jace said, but there was no resentment behind the words.

“Would have been my entire life if it was not forced out of me.”  Alec murmured bitterly.

“Yeah, well, that intention only lasted a couple years before a tiny thing called death got in the way.  It changed me and it changed you.”

Alec’s lips twisted into his usual half-smirk.  “Saying I ruined you for everyone now?”

“There is no one after you.  I can’t let you go, Alec.”  Jace pulled Alec down to him to slant their mouths together slowly, letting the warmth forming under his skin build from the slower touch.

“I don’t know how this between us started…I won’t stop…”   Alec breathed the words into him from the heat forming between them.

Jace knew they had a short window before they were expected down in the Main Ops Center, but Alec’s mouth was derailing his ability to focus.  The familiar pulsing warmth spreading from his parabati rune heating his body.

Alec pushed forward with a low growl, knocking Jace onto the bed and lifting his shirt up enough to reveal the parabati rune, before lifting his own shirt up enough to unveil the shared rune.

“No stele.”  Jace ordered, wanting to activate both runes himself.

He pulled Alec on top of him as he consciously activated first his own then Alec’s runes, golden light emitting from both runes softly.

Alec bracketed his forearms around Jace pushing as much contact between their bodies as possible, without actually removing clothing.

Doing that would bring up a molten burning heat neither of them had time for before the mission.  Did not help that Jace could feel a hardness from Alec pressed into his thigh as Alec buried his face in Jace’s neck trembling against him.

Jace ran his hands down Alec’s back soothingly, feeling Alec respond by trailing his hand down Jace’s side as their bond opened up enough for their souls to mesh together.

It was not as strong a connection as more intimate moments, but it was enough to allow for Jace to feel that pulse and burn he recognized as entirely Alec.  Fundamental barriers of clothing and skin still irritatingly in the way as Jace felt a mix of relief and guilt flow through the bond from Alec.

Jace sent back the need to feel the dark, hidden part of him.  Stunned when he felt a tiny portion of that handed over to him through the bond.  A strange combination of relief and ache twisted its way across Jace’s chest at the trust Alec put in him to allow that.

_Trust me that I can hold the broken pieces.  I held the majority of your soul for so long…_

Jace did not ask for more as much as he wanted to.  Instead matching the leisurely stroke along Alec’s back with his hands as Alec did the same to his side, both allowing the quiet to drag out and time to pass knowing they needed to get up.  Aware they both needed to start the mission.

Alec’s arm stopped the steady motion, wrapping both arms around Jace tightly; Jace could hear the hitch of breath from Alec even though he kept his face buried in Jace’s neck.

Jace paused in his ministrations across Alec’s back.  “I’ve got you.”

The arms banded tighter around him.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

“Is it dead?”  Clary called from further down the alleyway.

Jace kicked the decapitated and stabbed corpse over.  “Looks dead.”

“You sure?”  Jonathan questioned jogging up with Clary.

“It’s head is missing and it’s got a stab wound through the chest.  Sort of how you looked when you died.”  Jace grinned cockily over at the ex-demon, lauding his win over the man’s head.

“I truly despise you.”  Jonathan replied with a sneer.

“Jace.  Sitrep.”  Alec demanded through the comm lodged in his ear, his deeper voice cutting through the building animosity developing.

_Even after everything you two cannot forgive each other._

Alec had long since given up on thinking those two could ever become friends.  The deadly, twisted history unable to be covered except through the mutual connection to himself and being shadowhunters on a mission.

They had already spent hours searching back alleys and the subway systems for traces of both vampire and demonic activity attempting to find the connection between the two and the last greater demon.  Thus far they had turned up nothing but this single corpse.

Alec dropped from the rooftop he had been perched on, covering the group from above as they searched the alleyway below.  He hit the ground with a small thud, feeling the rippling shock travel through his body from the abrupt halt with the ground, runes warming as the power was used to absorb the fall.

He glanced towards where Jace crouched near the body before focusing on the corpse.

“Stab wound goes through the spine and part of the heart.”  Jace acknowledged carefully turning the body over to inspect it before turning it back over.

_Vampire.  Not staked._

In fact the vampire would technically still be alive until the day’s sunlight hit it.  Silent in its agony before death.

“Clary.  Wait.”  Alec ordered without looking over at the red head, effectively halting her next decision before she decided to launch a beam of sunlight at it or question to do so.

Jace checked over the body briefly for any additional markings left behind, finding nothing unusual outside of how the vampire had been destroyed thus far.

Alec grimaced at the poor being.

_Mostly destroyed and in misery._

He wished Izzy had not accepted the worldwide, pointless mission Maryse had sent her out on.  They needed their weaponsmaster and best forensic scientist at the Institute here.  Not gallivanting across the world on a fool’s errand.

Jace made a small noise of surprise when he lifted the vampire’s shirt up to inspect the stab wound more fully.  “Looks like black lines of infection.”

_Damnit.  Torture for knowledge or take a sample and end the misery…_

Jace made the decision for him already pulling out the single use sample container most shadowhunters carried as regulation, carefully taking a sample closest to the point of infection he could.

Jonathan had wandered towards the walls searching for bait or markings to indicate the attack; Clary had taken up scout and Alec could see her hovering her stele near her hand where she was positioned further down the alleyway.

Alec pulled out a witchlight, essentially a flashlight, shining it on the vampire on the ground.

“You know this greater demon would be dead by now if you would just _use it_.”  Jonathan stated blandly from where he stood, glancing slightly over his shoulder towards both Alec and Jace.

Jace stiffened noticeably where he still crouched examining the vampire and sending the needed information back to the lab.  Pictures mostly.

Alec shook his head sharply- No.

“Pity.”  Jonathan glanced towards where Clary stood further down the alleyway, obviously listening based on the turn of her head.  “They threatened her.”  The tone was calm, but Alec knew the ex-demon was anything but calm about Clary being threatened by a greater demon.

He turned back to the other two.  “I cannot lock her in the Institute.”  Alec replied, one corner of his mouth briefly turning up at the mental image of past attempts to restrain the red head.  All had ended miserably and Clary functioned better with a clear, short goal before her.

Jace stood up from his task activating his seraph blade and plunging it into the vampire’s corpse putting the poor wretch out of its misery.

“Can’t just ignore that threat either.”  Jace stated deactivating the seraph blade to look over at Alec.  “There has to be a way to track this thing.”

“There is.”  Jonathan stated gleefully, mad smile stretching across his face.  “I still have those sticks.  And what would a handful of dead vampires truly mean in the span of thousands of dead souls a single greater demon can cause?”

Jace took two quick steps towards Jonathan, hand clenching around the deactivated seraph blade.  “Not any of your psychotic ideas.”  Jace snapped loudly.

Alec closed his eye and turned from both of them.  Opening his eyes he felt his breath freeze in his lungs.

No red haired female form stood the short distance from them.

“Clary?”  He called.

The moment the question left his mouth he felt the other two stop their dispute.

Jonathan bolted passed, head whipping from side to side at the threshold to the alleyway before spinning around and baring his teeth at Alec raising his seraph blade to point towards Jace.  “Find her, pure one.”  He snarled the threat clear.

Jace scoffed spinning his seraph blade in his hands.  “I’d like to see you try.”

“Jonathan, we can track her.”  Alec reasoned, unwilling to break his promise to Jace.  Not over something small when they had options.

Jonathan tilted his head slightly, a small condescending smile forming across his mouth, before walking slowly towards Alec.  He pulled a dagger from its sheath on his leg pressing the flat of the blade against Alec’s clavicle bone.

Dark power instantly sparked across Alec’s vision at the contact.

_That isn’t a normal blade…_

He jerked back from the touch on a sharp inhale.

Jonathan laughed, something part mad and bitter with loss.  “Pure One.”  He hissed the name.

Jace’s knocked the blade away with the flat of his hand.  “Back off.  He said we would track her.”

Alec shook his head slightly to clear it, rubbing at the spot the dagger had touched.  “You have something of hers on you?”

Some of the rationality must have seeped into Jonathan’s brain and he pulled out an enclosed locket with red hair inside.

Alec did not bother asking when Jonathan had obtained Clary’s hair, knowing the ex-demon he had probably carried it for months obtaining it the first chance he had when first entering the Institute all those months ago.

Jace snatched the locket from between both of them walking a distance away from Jonathan, clearly expecting Alec to follow.

Silently he walked over to Jace holding out his hand for Jace to draw the rune, pressing their hands together with the locket between them.  Strangely it brought forth the memory of the Skeptron orb.

Alec let out a shuddered breath as Jace took over the tracking of Clary, allowing the flow of energy between them to be used in the search.  Both staring into the others eyes, both seeing an unseeing.

Moments later Jace broke the stare with a slight shake of his head.  “Got her.”

_Too easy._

His rational brain chided him; underneath a whisper rejoiced in the incoming violence.

Alec firmly ignored the seductive lure of the later.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Plans within plans.

Burning adoration and the incessant need to reach his sister stalled Jonathan from impaling Alec with the crafted blade as he had intended.  Forcing that dark magic into him.  Part steel, part woven root taken from the bowels of the green chrysalis.

He had spent ages tracking down a particular Seelie to craft it quietly.  Chained and shackled in an abandoned warehouse, where he had also kept that Seelie’s chosen mate just out of reach and threatened both with death until it was created.

_Both joined together in the dirt you worship._

He had told them they would be together after the blade was completed.  Seelies adored twisted lies, one would think they would have caught onto the fact he would just kill them both.  Balancing that had proven surprisingly easy considering Magnus expected him gone from the loft most days and Alec expected him for missions and to be present for most of the day within the Institute.

_Not all of it._

Jonathan glanced towards the dark haired man in front of him as Jace guided them towards Clary’s location.

_Why won’t you use it anymore?_

He glared at the blonds back, undoubtedly it was due to that attached annoyance.

_That connection kept you alive in the first place.  It can do so again._

That greater demon had wanted him to open the rift thinking he still had demon blood.  Discovering he did not had not been pleasant and had resulted in being used as fodder to fuel a spell to call his creator.

Now that demon had taken matters into its own hands rather than wait for Jonathan to pull off their deal.

_I told that demon not to touch Clary…_

But finding an opening to catch Jace off-guard had proven difficult, especially given the conflict he felt about using the blond to force Alec into a battle with that demon.

_Getting weak around all this fluffy emotional human crap._

Jonathan grit his teeth, feeling the weight of the blade against his hand.  Decision made.  Now to find the opening and get Clary out.

_I’m sorry.  Pure One.  I know you control it._

He glanced towards the blond, eyes zeroing in on the spot on his back that if impaled would also strike the heart.

_It’s just insurance in case it fails…_

It did not stop the new feeling of regret and a strange ill feeling towards his stomach he had never felt before.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Finding Clary proved to be unnaturally easy.

They found her locked in a cage in the depths of an underground waterway system, frightened and pissed all at once.

“They all just vanished.”  Clary called to them as soon as they entered the underground chamber.

The warning halted Alec as he activated his night vision rune with his stele to search the crevices and dark corners.  Finding nothing but water and metal as the underground tunnel stretched into darkness in the distance.

There was a faint scent of sulfur in the air and he found himself needing to consciously not rub at his arm and hold the bow steady.  The fact he had something to keep his arms occupied the only reason he did not give into that urge.

Jonathan and Jace both moved to cut Clary free.  The metal did not give way from their blades.

“Already tried my blade.”  Muttered Clary.

Jace touched the metal, drawing back sharply on a hiss as the metal burned his hand.

_Demon metal…_

Super rare and usually only seen in a form as armor.  Alec had never seen either form, only heard of it during training.

Jonathan appeared especially tense as he circled the cage, mouth turned into a silent snarl.

Alec swallowed as he felt the flickers deeper into the underground waterway, alerting him to the demons returning slowly.

“Don’t have much time…”  He warned bringing his bow up to point down the waterway he knew the beasts were coming from, mouth twisting in indecision.

He could hear the growling and baying of the slowly returning demons.

_What are they waiting for…_

Jonathan left Jace to continue working at the lock on Clary’s cage attempting to lock pick it now; Clary had started trying to draw unlocking runes from her side.  Based on the frustrated sounds he could hear from both, it was not going well.

Alec felt Jonathan slide up next to him as he held the bow steady, pointed into the darkness.

“My pure one…”  The strange tone caught his attention enough to turn his head towards Jonathan.  “I told you.  Clary had to be kept safe.  I would be kept safe.” Jonathan said drawing close enough he had to blink to refocus.

“Jonathan…”  Alec started only to be abruptly cut off as a dagger slide between his ribs erupting pain in a screaming focal point in his chest.

“You died for someone.  Now kill for someone.”  Jonathan whispered in his ear.

Jonathan released the hilt as Alec’s knees buckled on a hiss between his teeth.  That pain was twisting, writhing with power the blade held clawing, tearing into the blood filling his lung.

He heard a yell that could only be Jace.

Alec could not focus much beyond that yell.  The first low snarl of a demon however cut through the internal struggle like ice.

_You want to be kept safe from the monsters…_

He was done running from the truth.  Chasing an elusive fabricated truth that never existed, attempting to hide.  The truth that kept chasing him down every time he lowered his guard.  Done fighting both sides of himself.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

An uncomfortable feeling akin to loss and regret knifed its way through Jonathan’s heart as he watched Alec sink to the ground.

_It’s for the plan._

Now to hand the demons the other key element which would earn him Clary back.  Alive at least.

_She will never trust me after this unless…_

Alec was right dichotomy and decisions sucked.

He turned, barely dodging the blade Jace struck towards his head, only doing so by dropping to the ground and slamming the needle in his other hand, filled with sedative, into Jace’s leg.

_That better not stop your heart._

If Jace died, well then they were all screwed.  Yet, he could not take the risk of allowing Jace more than a moment to remain conscious.

The blond stood stunned and glowing as he activated runes with a thought trying to stem the flowing toxin from pulling him under.  Jace stumbled once to the side as he swayed dangerously, shaking his head in an attempt to clear it with an enraged yell.

Jonathan slipped another needle from his jacket ignoring the loud, poisonous diatribe from Clary about his life choices at the moment; Alec remained unmoving body locked in a war with the demonic blade he had just plunged into his heart.

_Eyes bled red…_

“Alright.  I brought him here for you.  Release Clary.”  Jonathan ordered into the darkness as slowly demonic forms began to emerge from the murky blackness.

Most were lesser demons shaped like bugs, lizards, scorpions, and a couple hellhounds.

The bars surrounding Clary fell apart, dropping to the ground in loud clangs of metal.

The moment she was free Clary bathed the room with her sunlight rune bolting towards where Jace lay.

_Stupid sister._

Jonathan met her halfway and caught her around the waist hefting her into the air.

Clary let out an indignant scream at that, kneeing him in the ribs and circling one hand around his neck in an attempt to cut off his air supply.

Jonathan kept walking away with her, refusing to look back.

Clary stabbed her stele into his neck.  “Put me down.  Now.”  She hissed.

He felt the slight trickle of blood run down his neck as the stele burned into his skin.  The pain could easily be dismissed, the fact that chunk of metal was on a collision course with his artery was not.  With a drawn out sigh he set her down.

He bared his teeth at her in a twisted snarl.  “Clary.  Alec will kill that last greater demon.  Jace is defenseless, he will do anything in his power to keep him safe and I do not wish to be around when that power is unleashed.”  Jonathan snapped at her.

Clary wrenched away from him holding her stele towards him like a weapon.  “Don’t come near me.”  She hissed as she backed up towards Jace.

Ugh.  Clary and Jace always managed to screw up his plans.

_I just wanted the last greater demon dead.  The last creature that would have hunted me down for accidentally destroying Edom.  Alec did it, not me._

He held his hands up in a treaty of peace between them.  “Alright.  We’ll bring Jace with us.  Just like before.”  Jonathan calmly informed her, eyes shooting towards where he could see Alec pulling that knife from his chest slowly.  Breathing normal.

_Excellent.  You accepted it._

That also meant he had precious few seconds before Clary might not be recognized as friend or foe.  Himself and Jace both had a connection to Alec in some capacity.  Clary did not.

Clary kept her gaze on Jonathan until the last moment when she quickly drew a portal rune in the air above Jace before shoving it forward to engulf his body.

The moment she looked away Jonathan moved, when she pushed the rune forward he knocked her out catching her light form and carrying her away from the feral screams of the demons as they launched forward only to be met with Alec’s arrows and a seraph blade.

Jonathan chanced one glance back, watching as the seraph blade winked out and a darker red glow started instead.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jace awoke to the feeling of being dragged through water by his ankles.  He jerked his head up coughing and shaking the blond strands of hair from his eyes.  His back ached horribly and a tender, rawness burrowed into his skin from however long he had been getting dragged along the ground for.

Blinking he cleared his eyes enough to realize Jonathan was the one dragging him through the water.  Bringing his hands up he realized he was bound with rope.  Searching the ground he located a larger rock, snatching it up and hurtling it at the ex-demons head.

The rock hit the back of Jonathan’s head with a pleasant thud, body bowing forward slightly from the impact as he dropped Jace’s legs, stunned.

_Damn._

He had hoped to knock him out with that rock.

Jonathan spun around activating his seraph blade immediately.  “I don’t have time for your petty games.” He snapped.

Jace launched himself towards the red head.  “You led us into a trap!”  He screamed.

Jonathan slashed at him with the sword; Jace twisted his arms in the air to meet that blade with the rope tying his wrists together successfully using Jonathan’s own attack to splice through his bonds.

Jace grinned wickedly at Jonathan for a brief moment before it twisted into rage.  “Where are Alec and Clary?”  He demanded.

Jonathan lowered his head, eyes gleaming with madness.  “Shut your mouth.  I am bringing your ungrateful hide to Clary.”

That caught Jace off-guard.  It must have shown in his face because Jonathan chuckled at him.

“The demons found where I lived and threatened Clary.”  Jonathan shrugged casually.  “Deal was to bring you or Alec to them directly.  The demon did not like to be kept waiting, thus Clary’s kidnapping.  You two idiots just waltzed yourselves in as hostages for me.”

Jace grit his teeth together fighting the urge to attack the ex-demon with bare hands while Jonathan held a seraph blade.

“Where is Alec?”  Jace growled.

Jonathan kept the seraph blade pointed towards Jace and leaned forward slightly, face twisted into a deadly calm.  “Destroying my last threat to my soul.”  He grinned slowly gesturing towards Jace.  “Be thrilled.  No more greater demons in New York.  All dead.”

The knowledge only brought forth a sick dread filling his gut as his hand went to the parabati rune at his side feeling the warmth and steady flow of energy signifying Alec was still alive.

Jonathan turned from Jace continuing down the path underground.  “Clary awaits.”

Arriving, Jace spotted Clary curled up against the far wall wrapped in a blanket but noticeably shivering.

Jonathan waved his seraph blade at Jace to move towards Clary.

“See I brought Jace, just as promised.”  Jonathan informed Clary.  “Completely unharmed.”

Jace doubted the unharmed part.  He still felt groggy from whatever concoction had been injected in his leg and his stomach continued to do strange flips like it had been transported through a warlock portal and had yet to recover.  Warlock portals were usually easy to handle.

Clary uncurled from her position against the wall as Jace stood next to her.  “He insisted this was the only way.”  Clary stated gesturing towards Jonathan with a small frown that clearly did not believe that.  “There is always another way, Jonathan.” She said.

Jace’s gaze narrowed on the ex-demon.  “What the hell did you inject Alec with?”  Jace growled rubbing at his parabati rune.

Jonathan calmly looked across at the two of them.  “I had a few roots left over from that green chrysalis.  I needed to ensure he would kill that greater demon before it decided to use me as blood fodder again.”

Jace was across the room, fist bunching at his side to punch the maniacal red haired man, drawing to an abrupt halt as the seraph blade was raised higher.

“Why hasn’t anyone killed you yet?”  Jace snarled unable to let his rage out in any other fashion.

_Again._

Jonathan grinned.  “Don’t you trust your parabati?”

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The scream echoed loudly inside his own head.  The flesh on his wrist had melted into a twisted scar that still burned.

Alone.

The power from that blade had sunk into the flesh surrounding his heart, his lungs, forcing him to use it to keep that organ pumping, stop his lungs from filling with blood.

_I will take responsibility for what I have done._

Dark ichor sprayed across his arm as the burning seraph blade sliced through another demon.

_I chose to fall and I will rise again as someone better…  After._

Droplets hit his face running down in tiny rivulets.

Alec did not blink.  Did not turn to look back at the carnage left behind him or the two hellhounds walking beside him now.

One objective sat in his mind.

_End this._

That objective currently stood before him.  It had started off as a giant burning beast wreathed in flames and horns but had coalesced into a more humanoid form.

“No arrows?  I’m disappointed.”  The last greater demon walked through the ranks of its horde with a purposeful, strong stride.  “Open the portal.  You ripped apart one world, closed the pathway to another.  Follow those devious instincts.”

Burying his soul further into the parabati rune.

Alec ignored the words tracking his dark eyes across the other demons.  The greater demon’s pointed stare could not reach him; it hit a wall of lifeless apathy.

There would be no chance to gauge strengths and weaknesses.

The demon cocked his head to the side.  “Are you ignoring a direct order from a superior?  Bloodlines and power mean much within the higher demon ranks.”

“I am not your underling.  I am a shadowhunter.”  Alec informed him with threatening calm.

The demon smiled indulgently, spread his arms out wide.  “And where are these great shadowhunter powers?  You have two of my slaves for your own beside you.”

The two hellhounds growled beside him, both had been torn to shreds by other demons as he used them to protect his back, but remained standing sentinels.

“Fallen angel, greater demon, do you miss Heaven or the Void?”  Alec asked gently instead.

The demon looked at him fully for the first time before a victorious smile formed across his face.  “Come.  Open a rift to Heaven for me with your Nephilim blood.  Fly and destroy that which cast so many of us out.”

Alec took a step forward.  “Yes.”  He breathed the word.

The greater demon tilted its head to look towards the sky.

He moved in a blur; a dark swathe of vengeance that the lesser demons could not react to in time.

The greater demon snapped its arms out to stop the attack.

Alec ignored the burn as the claws ripped into him, bone and cartilage gave way beneath his hand.  He crushed the organ he found in his hand without bothering to extract it fully.

He sent the power gained into the hellhounds while the hoard of lesser demons gathered its wits and began assembling for an attack.

“Kill them all.”  He purred chillingly.

The two hellhounds launched forward the same moment the hordes did.  Clashing in a fury of bodies that tore themselves apart.  The two hellhounds lasted much longer than he had anticipated, healing and renewing themselves with the power granted until only one remained.

Alec stared down at the mass grave of demon bodies.

His hands trembled, even as he stood silent and still watching the entire battle.

That last hellhound approached him, whining lowly dragging half its body along the ground.  Seeking the approval of its violence and victory.

Evil was evil.  Choosing between one evil and another, he could not choose between them.  Even if a part of him wanted to.

“You did good.”  He ignited the seraph blade.  “Rest now.”  Slammed it into the hellhounds body burning away the power inside with the runes emblazoned along the blade’s side.

It was over.  It was done.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Jonathan had explained that he had snuck into the Institute where Clary had sent Jace and broken him out of the infirmary and gracefully dragged his ass halfway across the city to Clary.

Jace rolled one shoulder.  Even with an Iratze his back still felt the phantom pain of miles of being dragged through dirt unconscious.

Jonathan had then gone on to explain in an extremely twisted mindset how the demons had demanded he bring Alec to them to open a portal.  Willingly had been the big stipulation.  When Jonathan had failed to do so in an appropriate timeframe they had kidnapped Clary.

_“You two idiots just waltzed in as hostages…”_

Jace winced internally at that fairly accurate assessment. 

But walking in willingly had earned Clary’s release.

Jace felt a heated burn of rage form in his gut as he glanced over at Jonathan again, fist tightening at his side as he resisted the urge to once again punch the ex-demonic man.

He had already done so twice since leaving the little secluded place Jonathan had set Clary up in before they began to wander the streets in search of either a rift in the sky or a large crater.  Any kind of demonic activity that would point them towards Alec.

_Now he wants to help him…_

Jonathan left Alec there.  Alone.  Injured.  To face off against hundreds of demons and the last greater demon.

The icy dread of where Alec might be in a city this large still cycling through his body in waves.

His chest tightened and he rubbed his hand across the parabati rune to ensure it still emitted heat.  The emotional flow had become icy, but he knew Alec was alive.  Somehow.

Jace glanced up at the sky where the moon stood high in the sky.

Clary’s frown continued to deepen as they walked in silence.  “I don’t understand.  Why?  What if he could not do what you wanted?”  Clary asked from where she walked with Jace, glancing towards Jonathan who walked slightly apart from them.

The vicious, violent decisions of Jonathan far outweighed the awkwardness the two felt for each other.  Thus they both stuck near each other while Jonathan walked by himself, yet part of their group.

Jonathan glanced over at them casually, not appearing the least bit concerned about throwing someone he supposedly cared deeply for to the demons.

“He held my soul.  Remade me.  I know how he feels about that power.  He protected a bunch of idiot souls and he did not even know them.  He knows you and is in love with his parabati.  Simple enough to figure out his decisions from there.”  Jonathan stated simply.

“So you hedged a bet he would become a demon to protect us?”  Jace snapped bitterly, needing to look away from both of them and blink furiously.

Jonathan smiled.  “I hedged a bet that he would honorably try his damnest not to.”  He gestured towards Jace.   “Your parabati rune is still intact.”

Jace snarled, spinning back around to face Jonathan.   “It does not work like that!”

Jonathan snorted back a small derisive laugh.

_It doesn’t.  Alec had to make the choice._

Clary shook her head.  “Jonathan, you can’t play with people like this.  This isn’t love or friendship or whatever it is you and Alec have.”  She stated in that amazingly calm way she only reserved for Jonathan.

Jonathan nodded his head slightly in thought, biting at one of his lips.  “Not playing.  That last greater demon wanted to use me.  My soul.  And Alec broke me free from my bond with him as my owner.  I had no choice.  If Alec still held a grip on my soul it would have been different, then again they would have been able to summon and shackle him unwillingly on that island.”

Clary stared at her brother with wide eyes; Jace felt himself partly mimicking the expression.

“Just how long ago did he release you from that bond?”  Jace asked the question with surprising calm as his insides twisted sharply.

Jonathan looked at the two of them with a strange conviction.  “I have seen my creator with eyes that were crafted by him.  He released me from his service after that rift was closed.  For what he has given me, I will never turn from him.”

“You threw him to the demons.”  Jace bit out enraged, stepping passed Clary to shove the psychopath into the wall he walked near.

Jonathan chuckled at the action.  “Pure one has never been pure.  Did he not show you that?”  He taunted Jace.

Jace’s heart nearly stopped in his chest at the memory of that small glimpse Alec had trusted him with.

“You know what.  Neither have you, Jonathan.  Or I.  Or anyone we know.”  Clary snapped stepping between the two, looking between the two like she could not believe this was actually a discussion worth having.  “Look, Jonathan was an ex-demon.  I raised people from the dead.  Jace was afflicted by the Owl.  Alec…destroyed a realm and a bunch of greater demons.  And right now I might be really pissed at both of you but we have to clean up Jonathan’s mistake.”  She turned to face Jonathan.  “Alec is not a god, get that blasphemous bullshit out of your head.”  With that Clary spun and stomped away from them.

Jace grinned at Jonathan daring him to say something.  “She’s right you know.”  Jace declared after a moment.

A lighter, warm feeling poured through him, both from Clary’s statements and the parabati rune.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Exhaustion crept through each limb.  The dark power Jonathan had pierced into his heart continued to pump through his veins, keeping him alive.

They found him dragging the dead carcass behind him.

Alec could sense the three hesitate before him.

“Alec…”

Jace’s voice called him firm yet with a faint tremble.

A hand pulled his fingers from the dead, matted fur of the hellhound.

He faintly heard the thump of the body hitting the ground, his eyesight landed on the familiar figure of Jace before drifting towards Jonathan.

Anger formed, obliterated by sorrow.  Painful, desolate, and regretful sorrow.

“Why?”  Alec asked broken.

Jonathan’s usual devious smirk vanished under Alec’s gaze.  “Thought I found a way...”  He replied only to faintly trail off.

_To protect Clary and himself…_

In that moment Alec hated that he understood Jonathan so well.  Understood that the ex-demon had wanted a family more than anything, a place to call home.  And that he had decided that Alec could handle what he left him with because the other choice was to give the demons Clary.

“Don’t.  Don’t say sorry.  You are not sorry.”  Alec snapped bitterly at Jonathan.

His heart clenched painfully, reminding him of the stab wound still being held closed by the dark power.

Jonathan withdrew a step back, partially hiding Clary behind him.

Jace’s palm against his chest brought his attention back to his parabati.

“You need a medic.  Maybe a warlock.”  Jace commented running his fingers along the outside of the deep incision, jerking his fingers away when he brushed the tainted blood.  “Maybe a Silent Brother.”  Jace muttered.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The smell of stale air and hundreds of books and scrolls felt like it would remain a permanent fixture in Izzy’s sinuses.

It had been months since she left New York with Lucian on a trek across the world and while they had found leads and data pointing towards strange occurances between parabati and the Clave nothing concrete.

“No human or Shadowhunter can decide between what constitutes good or evil for the parabati bond.  Just because something is considered the law does not mean it is always correct.”  Lucian stated from where he sat across the table.

A familiar conversation.  Lucian had gone against everything he had been raised to believe when he turned from Valentine.  Reformed his own beliefs when he became a werewolf and later a police officer.

“Thought you wanted to uphold the law.”  Izzy snarked back flipping through her own text.

“I’ll uphold justice and what I believe is right.  I hid Clary and her mother for years on that same belief of what is right rather than turning them into the Clave as the law would have dictated.”  He replied, glancing up at her.

“The will of the Angels, revealed through the actions of Shadowhunters.”  Izzy muttered sarcastically, before her eyes landed on a phrase in the book before her.  She reread it again.  And again.

“No one knows what the Angels will is.  They did not strike down Clary, Jonathan, or Jace for being born.  And Valentine’s experiments with angel blood should have prompted something.”

_Did not strike down Alec either…_

Izzy stared at the passage in the hidden journal they had found again.  It was written from an old Germanic king during the time Roman culture clashed with the northern kings.  A power struggle between the two factions had bled over into the Shadowworld.  This man had been a mundane that had drunk from the Mortal cup, becoming a shadowhunter.  He left his old life to be with the woman he loved.  Risked his own life by drinking from the cup for the change.  Only for bitterness to follow when he discovered he could not become parabati with the woman he loved.  She had already become parabati with her soon to be husband.  Instead this shadowhunter returned to his mundane contacts and used his armies to smash through the shadowhunters home using tar and fire since most of his generals could not see what they were burning in the night.  In the end he gained land, honor, and status by taking back land for the mundanes making it appear as if he was on a dedicated crusade when he actually just wanted revenge against the two parabati for falling in love with each other not himself.  Once he gained enough power he made it illegal for parabati to fall in love, using the new law as an excuse to execute both the woman he loved and the man, the parabati of that woman.  The part that disgusted Izzy was that the two remaining sisters of the unnamed woman he killed help him rule that parabati falling in love would be shunned.

“I found something.”  Izzy announced handing the journal over to Lucian.  “It seems like it’s a twisted amalgamation of the Greek myth Psyche and a pissed off madman that could not get over the woman he fell for.”

Lucian skimmed the work.  “Would certainly begin to explain how over thousands of years the curse never manifested anywhere in the world.  Hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated.  The parabati bond was used as a scapegoat for this guys witchhunter.”

“There has to be more evidence of this guy.  Maybe the two sisters as well.”  Izzy jotted down the names of each before darting back into the library they currently were digging through.

Now to figure out how to release this information safely without creating strife and an internal cold war.

_Mom or Jia Penhallow…_

She sent an email to her mom stating simply.  “Found proof.”

No one else knew what her and Lucian were researching so the simple email could not prove much if it was intercepted by anyone.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

The first month Jace had plotted out a hundred ways to murder Jonathan.  The second month he stewed in a quiet rage while Alec forgave the murdering bastard for stabbing him in the heart, forcing the dark power inside and breaking the promise rune that showed up as a scar across his wrist now.  The third month mental exhaustion crept up and Jace found himself apathetic to what Jonathan did with his life.

The wariness was certainly there, but he had no energy left to spare on the ex-demon anymore.

Clary worked with her brother every day by dragging him out of the Institute to various soup kitchens, churches, and random events that would force him to interact with empathy.  Something Jonathan excelled at because of his acting skills and Jace doubted any further change occurred in the ex-demon, but Clary seemed adamant about keeping up the continuation of a normal life for him.

“You know, what I am doing for Jonathan is the same thing you are doing for Alec now.”  Clary said to him as they both sat in the weapons room sharpening blades.

Jace glanced over at the red head.  “Alec is not a psychopath.”

Clary snorted.  “He follows a path no one else but Jonathan could even begin to understand.”  She tilted her head slightly in a show of understanding.  “I love my brother and he makes decisions he thinks are right based on what he understands.  He is learning to be human, not a demon anymore.  He made that choice months ago because he chose my life, knowing Alec stood a higher chance of surviving.”

Ever since they had returned from that last greater demon Alec had picked up the habit of meditation each day.  More than once Jace had caught him staring at his wrist were the promise rune had seared into his skin leaving behind a brand.  Alec never bothered to cover it up, regardless of the raised eyebrows other shadowhunters gave him.

“I’m sorry Jonathan forced him to endure that.”  Clary said after awhile.

Jace scoffed.  “I don’t need to hear it from you.”

_Would prefer an apology.  Better for Jonathan to be imprisoned._

One he knew would never occur.  The other Alec had already ensured would never come to pass.

Would prefer to leave the past behind because the specter of violence and death that stood between Jonathan, Alec, and himself felt immense.

_How do you start over from here?_

He glanced over at Clary and her bright red hair.  She had already started over.  Again and again.  Both her own life and her brothers life.

“Izzy and Lucian are back.  Maryse wants us in her office.”  Alec called as he walked by from the Main Ops center, sleeves of his jacket rolled up enough to expose both the runes on his arms and the seared mark on his wrist.

 

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

 

Izzy and Lucian had explained in alternating voices about the journals and data they had gathered that proved the so called parabati curse had been nothing more than a vendetta against two parabati in the past that had grown out of control.  Rumors morphing into fake fact.

Maryse had taken over from there saying she had select contacts she could begin disseminating this information out to until they had more evidence to present to the Clave to banish a centuries old rule.

Vaguely Alec realized she had been removing certain decisions from him ever since Jace, Clary, and Jonathan had found him wandering the streets coated in demon ichor.

_Not needed here._

That was the message sent.

It had nothing to do with his failure as a leader.  Instead had everything to do with the black veins and the scars across his chest and wrist.

_I fought evil with evil and won._

It was time to move forward.  They had all come out alive.

_Mostly._

He rubbed at the ache across his chest that was still closing.  Whatever Jonathan had imbued into that dagger had been highly corrosive to his Nephilim blood and cells and had proven slow to mend back together naturally rather than using the power to do it for him.

_I protected them…_

Protected both Jace and Jonathan.

Alec disregarded Jace’s stare when he continued passed their room after the meeting until he arrived at Jonathan’s.  He had not spoken much to the man since telling him he did not want an apology.

Pushing the door open without knocking he found the ex-demon scribbling notes down at his desk with several books open around him, some even on the floor.

“Pack a bag.  I’m sending you and Clary to Rome, China, or Japan.  Your choice between the two of you.”  Alec stated.

Jonathan slowly looked up, a brief flicker of grief passed across his face to quick to truly be certain it had ever been present.

“And why are you removing me from your presence?”  Jonathan drawled spinning the chair around to drop his body forward with a faint smirk.

Alec shook his head slightly.  “You will return.  But you need time to spend as a normal shadowhunter, a human, with Clary.  This is not goodbye.”

Jonathan leaned back in the chair, something forcibly self-assured in the motion.  “Then I plead guilty.  Guilty to plotting to bring you and Jace to the demons.  Guilty to devising a plan to force the dark power back into your veins to control the demon masses and make an army to kill the last threat to myself and Clary.”

“I don’t care.”

Jonathan’s mouth snapped shut, before prowling towards Alec.  “Don’t forget me.”

“You deceived me.  Time and time again.”

“Do I disgust you for my choices now?”  Jonathan asked glancing pointedly at Alec’s chest where the stab wound continued to heal.

This was the part that made it so hard.  Every part of him wanted to be angry, rage at Jonathan for placing him in that situation.  Yet, he understood perfectly why Jonathan had chosen that path and knew he would have chosen that path eventually regardless.

“Never.  But two devils cannot heal side by side.  Go figure out how to be human with your sister.  Experience the world like you wanted to do before being thrown into Edom.  I’ll be here.”  Alec said.

_Waiting for the soul to return._

“Does Jace understand what he is shackled to now?”  Jonathan asked bluntly, hand hovering in the air between them almost touching the wound he had inflicted.

Alec shrugged.  “He is my parabati.  He is the reason you and I, both, continue to live.  It’s a chain.”

A chain to keep himself grounded in something other than darkness.

Jonathan got up and pulled out a bag to start packing.

“I won’t ever forget you, Jonathan.”

A pause in the motion of packing followed by the devious smile.

“I’ll try.  Maybe next time you see me I might truly be happy.”

Alec stood watching him pack for a few moments longer before turning back to the hallway.  He could see Jace had unsubtly been standing there listening to the entire conversation with an irritated grimace.

“After all he has done…”  Jace said.

Alec nodded slightly.

He had never understood how to describe recreating a person from scratch and how he still wanted to protect Jonathan until he could grow and heal.

_Maybe that is what a parent feels…_

It brought back how Maryse had been treating him.  The fact she still had not given his title back fully and instead had insisted he have a couple hours of each day cleared from his schedule where he could do as he pleased.  Her own silent way of allowing him to heal without removing to much.

“Come on.  It’s in the past now.  Let’s not linger on it any longer.”  Alec pulled Jace to him wrapping his arms around him.  “Besides, I have you.  And I will give you everything of me.”

Jace’s mouth flickered into a smile.  “You have a long way to heal.  Again.”

“I know.  But I have you with me this time.  Did last time too, I just did not know it yet.”  Alec replied guiding Jace back down the hall away from Jonathan.

It would be enough.  It would always be enough now to have his soul shackled to Jace.  Have his soul tied to another through darkness and light, enough that it would not break.

“The Clave might not be against us soon.”  Jace pointed out a bit more brightly, it pulled an answering smile to Alec’s face.

He hummed in acknowledgement as he entered his own rooms, tossing off his jacket and shirt and gathering up the supplies to bandage the stab wound.

They were together.  Everything else could work itself out in the end.  His stained soul had been handed over to Jace for his care without him ever realizing it and each battle they had to fight they would do so together.

“Let’s go watch the stars and sunrise together.”  Alec suggested as he watched Jace reapply the bandage.

 

 

End

 

 

A/N:  Yes the “stupid laws” are actual real laws I took from the U.S.   There really are laws out there about not sleeping in a cheese factory and paying $50 to play a casual game of soccer in a park.  Obviously, not enforced but at some point someone went to court over that.

A/N:  Never thought I would use math while writing a story.  But here we are.  Numbers are pulled from actual populations of New York and searched military bases around the world since Shadowhunters are essentially a worldwide military within the story.

A/N:  I could probably continue this forever but I felt I had the characters realize who meant what to them, priorities in life, and that there would be people with them through the challenges in life.  Hope you all enjoyed it.


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